Shutdown Fullcast - $11.99 For A Tie-Dyed Cheese Pizza

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

A better way to talk trash at live sporting eventsWe have been compelled by the events of the day to talk about the New York JetsHoodie season revelationsThe events of Blood Week, placed in contextThe games of Week 7, previewed in loving detailFullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

I was looking through the list of state mottos today. And I was like, the only new one I thought of was that Massachusetts should have the motto, Massachusetts, go get me some smokes. That's it. Just while you're out, go get me some smokes. Massachusetts is the one for that? I think so. Yeah, go get me some smokes.

Does that mean you have to leave Massachusetts for the smokes? No, but, you know, like, you know, if you're up and about. Oh, okay. While you're out, get me some smokes. Yeah, while you're out. Is it because Massachusetts is really stuces? small, therefore very easy to leave. Yeah, come on.

Massachusetts is obviously really easy to leave because everyone who loves it does leave and then they talk about how good it is. Yeah, and then they talk about back in Boston, here's how we did it. Why don't you all of you go back to Boston? There. Massachusetts

not terribly high current cigarette use by adults. I hate to tell you. No. Because of woe. I would bet that Nevada is like number Nevada's got to be top of us. All right. Well, here's our map.

If you count tourists. This is from a CDC map. The states with the highest are a lot of the ones you would expect. West Virginia is on here. Kentucky is on here. Louisiana's on here. Ohio is on here. At the top of the list, or maybe at the bottom, New Jersey has a value of N.A.

Wow. I'm unclear if that means everyone in New Jersey smokes and lies about it or something else. Off the charts. Yeah. The scale. Massachusetts actually pretty low. Like, of the 50 U.S. states, it's third from the bottom, Utah, California, Massachusetts. Disgusting.

More people smoke in the state of Washington than in Massachusetts. Yeah, but I bet when it comes to smokes like California, like, do you smoke cigarettes? No. Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure. Absolutely not. Do you smoke, hell yeah, cigarettes? No, no, no. So Massachusetts then is why.

people leave to smoke. So like the smoke right in Connecticut through the roof because everyone from, that's, it's Massachusetts is smoke room. So Spencer's, Spencer's suggestion is accurate. Yeah. Yeah. Go get me some smokes because I really want some. I'm going to pop over to Connecticut and burn one. I'll be right back. I don't smoke in

Massachusetts. That's where the furniture is. I live six feet from Connecticut so I can just walk over. Yeah. The chain smoke. Connecticut truly is the break room of America. I mean, the Connecticut aesthetic really is like sad snack machine, fluorescent light, a mandatory workplace posting from the federal government and state government. Hospital waiting room is what you're describing. The teenagers hanging out behind the dumpster of America.

Yeah, Connecticut. And also ESPN. That's right. ESPN. Who has never had to like beg and plead for anyone to visit Connecticut. That's not true they have. A couple times. um yeah welcome let me show you how to properly do it rye watch

Welcome Wow To the shutdown full cast server did it Did it blip? Did I blow out the mic? Certainly did not. Spencer, that was kind of you to tank it so that Ryan's was better. Yeah.

That's what I did. Welcome to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall, joined as always by Holly Anderson, Ryan, Nanny, Jason Kirk and on the ones and twos, Michael Ray Serber. I guess we wanted to lead with the most important story of the week, among other promotions, that venerable pizza chain, hungry howies is running. In an effort to diversify their product line and expand their market share, they are including, along with their other products, edible hungry howies glitter. edible on what on the pizza

okay so sparkly pizza not tiny glitter projectiles is that what you call pieces of glitter shape like pizza

right the glitter is on the pizza is glitter one of those nouns that's singular and plural perhaps I found a glitter yeah

it's gotta be right but you wouldn't say you would say a piece of glitter I don't think you would say a glitter you could Um, as a person with many nieces, I have, I have found glitters in my time. Okay.

So, Hungry Howie's determined that there was, the market had a need. It wanted glitter pizza, but it was unhappy about the food, unsafe quality of glitter, possibly eating. I don't know what happens if you eat glitter. Maybe you get a rumbly tummy. Maybe you have weird poops. It's going to be a, it's going to be a disco in that gas. station bathroom is what it's going to do. Okay, gotcha. You get like, you get Power Puff Girls' powers. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So it's, it's, um,

sprinkles, but very metallic. Yeah. Or am I wrong and it's literally glitter. I am guessing that it's edible glitter. What does, what do you mean you're guessing? What do you mean you're guessing? Because I wasn't the primary source on this, Ryan. I have Googled it, and apparently the glitter is arranged in a tie-dye pattern. Okay. So, there's that okay this was this was this was evidently something where people would go you know I wasn't thinking about ordering a hungry howie's pizza but now yeah I'm going to tell you this is the biggest difference I think I've ever seen in the marketing photo and the actual photo there's one on Reddit that looks like a normal pizza with a blue green circle in the

middle and otherwise you would never guess cool oh oh lord It looks like the mold started in the middle And is rapidly claiming territory Yeah, this this does look like a hungry Howie's pizza 30 days post-mortem in the fridge Yeah I don't think this was the look that they were going for Maybe it's a clever way to disguise moldy pizza

And trick your friends into eating things that will make them sick Gotcha Or and by friends I mean enemies, obviously either way gotcha yeah either way what a digestive

carnival you're going to be having by eating it would be it would be just as funny if you threw it up too like if you threw it up and you're like was this dog eating glitter

and they're like was it a dog yeah this is from a human dude what the hell did you eat you're like and you're like long story

I have become birthday celebration I ate a rave. Did you eat a unicorn? What happened? I'll punch you so hard, you puke glitter. That would be, listen, on the list of fabulous MMA press conference proclamations,

that would be 100% up there. How much does it cost to get glitter on your pizza? Let's look. You can use code tie-dye. This is now Hungry's ad. Yeah, welcome. Welcome, Hungry Howies. Yeah, that's, use code tie-dye to get free glitter, edible glitter on your peat.

This is, again, when people, sometimes people will just reply to you on social media when you ask about why something's happening and they'll go, capitalism. Yes. Right. But did any other system generate this sentence? A large cheese pizza with colorful edible glitter. No. I don't know, maybe. Like, it's, it has this inherent assumption that it's.

bad. Like, I don't know. Anybody could have a bad idea, first of all. The only hungry Howie's near us, Spencer, is in Noonan, so it looks like we're making a little bit of a trip. Looks like I'm going to be making a trip up to Noonan, brother. Okay, hold on. There's one in Murfreesboro here. All right, so I know. No. 1199 for a tie-dye cheese pizza. Now, if I just order a regular cheese pizza, which is not an option, I have to close. I have to Create it. Okay, cool. Can I tell you that that's on the, like, frankly, this is on the list of things that should cost more. I feel like...

Glitter? I feel like a glitter pizza should cost more than $11.99. No, I think it should cost less. I think it should be Hungry Howie's being, admitting, like, you shouldn't have this. And we're going to throw you a little, we're going to throw you a bone. I want it to, I want them to judge me, honestly. I want them to be like, first of all, you're calling a hungry Howie. The box should claim it's a glitter pizza, but then it's a regular pizza.

You can post a photo and be like LMAO, look what I ate, but then, okay, settle down, for real. It's just a pizza, it's fine. You're not eating that. There's a food scientist somewhere who, like, went to school, worked really hard. Maybe had dreams one day of, like, I'm going to build, like, drought. I'm going to help create drought-resistant crops or, you know, I'm going to help create lab-grown meat so we can reduce annual cruelty, whatever their sort of passion was. And instead, they made edible glitter from Greenhuis.

Like, it's a tough world, I guess, is what I'm saying. Dream big, but settle small. We all make compromises. Sure. The world. Yeah. It's various systems over time. I mean, heck, look at us right now.

Is this the glitter pizza podcast? This is the glitter pizza podcast? I'm going to be a sports journalist and tell important stories of it. Oh, oh, no. Oh, no. Talking about glitter pizza for 10 minutes. Well, Ryan, like, you're like, I'm going to go to law school. I'm going to, you know, change the laws or whatever.

I don't remember why, truthfully. Like, the next thing you know. Who's to say? I'll say this. There are a lot worse outcomes when you become a lawyer than... Yeah, I mean, I look at you and I look at Rudy Giuliani. I cannot accuse you of any of the things that he has done. Hello, me and Rudy, two.

Inactive members of the bar. How's he doing? It's just fine. Just great. He'd do a glitter pizza commercial. Sure. Sure. Oh, God.

He'd introduce it about as well as I introduced it. Probably better. I think it's actually a good ad because if you show the pizza and then you show him, suddenly I'm like, well, the pizza is far more appetizing than him. So it looks better by comparison. I guess is what I'm saying. I had something else I wanted to. Oh, that wasn't all?

And the Michigan Washington game this past week. an assistant coach for the Michigan Wolverines told a Washington fan chatting back and forth with them to shut the fuck up and this is, I guess maybe not something you should be doing as somebody on the Michigan. So that's a good question. Back up your assertion. Source? We're here to challenge assumptions.

on this show like glitter doesn't belong on pizza and you shouldn't tell strangers to shut the fuck up. I mean, it's it's probably not a great idea for Chris Bryant to be like, shut the fuck up before you get fucked up. But I will say this, the video that you see from it, we don't see what the Washington fan is saying. And that seems like an important element here. also I don't know it's a football game and you're talking at somebody on the sideline what what you think is going to happen have you ever said something to somebody on the sideline and had them interact with you or on the field because I have and it went about as poorly as I thought it should have gone sure emotions run high what can you can you relay the details of this encounter of yours so we were on so this was I'll tell you how long ago this was I was at a baseball game and Dante Bichette was in the outfield and Dante Bichette was just standing there doing his job so naturally what do you do is somebody who's had a couple of beers

sitting in the outfield you will look at Dante Bichette and go hey hey you know for a couple of you'll while you're thinking of something to say while you're searching through the menu of dumb guy stuff to say at somebody and somebody next to us goes, hey, steroids, not even the full sentence of you do steroids, right? Which everyone in baseball did at that point. That's why it was awesome. That's why it is no longer great.

We do not allow people to just freely take cattle steroids and hormones in order to become as large as possible and hit the ball very far. But I was like, yeah, yeah, man, you're on the good stuff. and Dante Vichette turns around and hits us with the double bicep pose and then just nods

like yeah and ended up like you're like hey you looked really cool we're not supposed to yell at the guy I'd look really cool oh

and then he told us to shut the fuck up which is what I think you have a right to do with somebody on the sideline it's just to look back and be like

yeah you should shut the fuck up like Sharon Moore had the right to do that if he wanted to so I'm trying to look and Dante Bichette, it seems like he was just one of the ones that everyone was assuming was on steroids, but it was never actually like confirmed or whatever. So maybe that's part of it.

Maybe that's part of it. Yeah, maybe it's like, I worked really hard. This is all natural. I just eat a lot of eggs. But yeah, things you can't get mad about. I can't get mad at a coach being like, shut the fuck up before you get fucked up. Sure. I mean, that's a fun moment to be told shut the fuck up.

by a coach. Yeah. Right? Also, I don't know what the young lad was saying, because it should be mentioned. Probably some black. Fan is white.

I don't want to, you don't ever want to be like, yeah, I'm on that guy's side. Let me give you a lesson in America. Freedom of speech. Yeah. I can say it.

No, no, no, no, brother. I will also say every time, I feel like this mostly happens in the NBA.

And I feel like every time it does and the player gets into it with the fan, most of the time, The fan looks happy. Like, the fan is like, yeah, attention. Yeah, this is a good story I get to tell later about how I made Russell Westbrook so mad at me.

Oh, boy. Like, I don't think you do this in most cases, not in all cases, and are like, the rudeness with which this man replied to me, a paying customer at this entertainment, at this diversion. Here I was believing in. good faith, that he would take a moment away from his job to engage in repartee with me. And what should I discover instead that he would rather continue doing his job? I think it's a rule that if you can imagine one side of the debate, wearing a top hat and a monocle, going, oh, sir, that person fucked up. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, if that's where you run, that's the person who probably fucked up, is my guess. you know that any mistakes any mistakes subsequent to that even by the other party were largely spurred on by said gentleman and top hat being like

I the protagonist of reality demand parley will you debate me sir yeah will you debate me this is why this is why you shout heinous shit from the 300 seats

honestly like that's right then you're just an asshole to people around you. Also, they can't, the big man can't hear me down there. It's like yelling at your television. It's fine.

Yeah. It is basically, I'm yelling at the real TV. What are you doing out there? Oh, wait, you're real and you're mad at me. What's happened? Sir, sir, please consult Robert Rules of Order.

When I yelled Dante Bichette from a thousand feet away. He refused to debate me. That was when I lost all hope in the American project. The only good one of these is there's a series of guys who go to baseball games and they will just yell like, they'll be like, Boobes or ass! Hold up for one for booms and two for ass!

And most of the players just laugh and they're like not saying anything. But I can't remember the player it is so pardon me, but there was one who looked real sheepish and he just didn't do anything. for a minute, and then he very quietly flashes two behind his back. And the crowd's like, I think the new strategy should be, if you're a coach or a player, to yell affirming things back, to be like, I know you're just working on your own insecurities, but I believe that with time, therapy, and a trusted friend group, you will discover what it is that you're

unhappy with in your own life. And I wish you luck on your journey. You got this dog. You got this. And then nobody's like, oh, you're so rude to that fan. Even though you kind of did tell them to shut the fuck out. And you told them they don't have any friends. So, yeah, you got them.

You got them. But in a way that's like, wow, what a positive message. You said, I know you have nothing else going on in your life besides yelling at me. But someday you might have another second thing. Thank you for buying expensive tickets to watch this game. Have you considered other ways in which you could spend money to improve your own life? I have several suggestions. Charity can be a fulfilling option for one.

For another. Leave this building. I have a series. It would be so disturbing if somebody stood behind the bench at a college football game and just said, I have a series of positive affirmations to read to all of you. You are strong. I'd want to kill them. You work.

You work hard. Yeah. You're calling out. If you're like focusing on specific players, right? Yeah. Number 56. I know you haven't played yet, but looking at the way number 67 is playing, I believe that you will very soon. This is what Hugh Free should do. He should get up there at the press conference. He should be like, let me tell you what. Peyton Thorne is a good friend. And he's a good helper. He has a giving spirit. It's the damning with faint praise. Spurrier, if he'd hung on a little bit longer, Spurrier would have done that by far. You would have been like, oh yeah, he's a real good guy. He's great. You've seen him. Have you seen him draw? He's quite the artist. He's a team player. Might not be our team, but he sure is playing. He's out there doing all kinds of things.

That's a good one. That's a good one. He just, he does a lot. It really does a lot out there. Through God's all. A lot of y'all don't realize, but he's doing a lot. Through God, all things are possible, and he wants to explore those possibilities. He contributes a lot away from the ball in ways that you don't see. Like when he's very, very far away from the ball. You'll notice good things happen when he's over there. That's why I keep him over near me, because I do him away from the ball. Yeah.

He's a strong sideline influence. He's great in the locker room, which is where we're keeping him for the second half. He's a glue guy, as then he should be turned into glue. Like an old horse. I thought you were going to say, is then he should be glued to the bench. But even that would not go far enough. Either one. And, you know, again, you got to have a certain amount of, like, credit in the bank.

to be this kind of coach because I could see coaches who could get away with saying this kind of shit and it might be funny and that person is never Hugh Freeze or Brian Kelly

no Brian Kelly's the dad who's like hey I got a joke for you and you're like I'm gonna will myself to explode before I hear this Does it involve an old-timey phrase For people from Asia

It does? Okay cool Pass No but we do talk about the Turks You're like no Well No Can you do it without any

ethnicities. Oh, I could. Oh, they're critical to the humor. I could, but the Greeks love oh, well, all right, here we go. Yeah. Jesus, like you can't tell a joke in this country anymore. You know a country where you can tell it, no, coach, coach, hang on. Nope, nope. Tell you what, that Victor

or band guy's got some ideas about roster management. Coach, coach, uh, we, yeah, whoa, you're needed on the practice field. No, he's not. That's where, you got to go there. Yeah. That's a damn lie. Go stand there, close. It's closed to media. There's a sandwich out there. You've got to go find it.

On the field. Look closely. Is that a metaphor? No, we literally need you to go find a sandwich for right now. It's a turkey reuben. It's delicious. Blood sugar is a night. Got to find it before it cooks in the sun.

A reuben is low on the list of sandwiches that hold up in the sun, I think. Probably. I mean, not that the sun and, I'm going to say a controversial opinion here I might get canceled for. I don't think the sun and sandwiches are friends. Some of them can, you know, work together okay yeah counter meatball sub you want to leave a meatball sub out

yeah out on the sun I mean under the hot sun yeah with a little bit of extra parm on top just to get it nice and give it a little extra melt like so I mean this is an this is an Instagram account you can start sandwiches in the sun

sandwiches after six hours outside would you rated yes or no yeah I'm Spencer I put this sandwich out at night in the morning, uncovered. I'm here at, I'm here at four in the afternoon, and I'm going to take a bite and tell you about it. Welcome to Sunway sandwiches. Yeah.

Where we eat. He died after four posts. Oh, what did I count, though? Like an egg salad sandwich out there for 10 minutes. The fifth post is RIP to Suns sandwich bag. Do you want the views or not? I'll be like, this is the sandwich. We're going to sell some shirts.

This is the food poisoning equivalent of that YouTuber who crashed his car this week while texting. Sunshine is the best antiseptic, and here on sandwiches, we put that theory to the test. We eat clean-ass sandwiches. Sandwiches has been concluded as an enterprise. If you're eating your sandwich indoors, you are depriving yourself of the sun's natural nutrients. Why are you eating secrets? We need to reheat this tuna salad more to unlock.

Hold it out of my car. The nutrients doctors don't want you to have. My car window for seven hours. Ding. I wouldn't be lying. premises, you're like, doctors hate him for this. Yeah. Yeah. That should never be a selling point when you're like, doctors hate him.

RFK Jr. just putting salami on the roof of his car. This is a great play. I love this channel. The salami's still alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Compared to some of the places he's been putting a salami button. Oh, wow. All right. All right. There we go. Time for more. Time for media gossip. Change to anything. You can do podcast business. You can talk about the Jets here. Anything else, please, God. I did want to talk about the Jets because I have... It's so bad for the Jets.

It's very bad. They fired Robert Sala today on the exact date that Pomani Jones said they would fire him. Did he see part of the reason why they may have fired him after this game? No. The Jets owner, Woody Johnson, used to... Under the Trump administration, stepped away from being Jets owner and let his brother, Christopher Johnson, I believe is his name, run the team so that he could be

America's ambassador to the United Kingdom. The Jets just lost to the Vikings in a London game. And leading up to this, either there were rumors or there were actual comments. I'm not sure which, and I'm not going to go look. I can't put more Jets data on my Google profile at this point.

No, that's how you get on a watch. Basically, it was like, Hey, he's going to be really mad if they lose this London game because he's got like all his English friends that he made while he was ambassador. Like, they'll see it. They'll see it and they'll know and he'll look stupid. And indeed they did lose. And indeed they did fire their coach immediately thereafter.

Yeah. This is the heir to the Johnson and Johnson fortune has no reason to be good at anything. And you see some people who have granted exceptional wealth who then take it upon themselves to become, you know, people with skills. Statesmen. Well, you know, like. Statesman like Woody Johnson. Statesman like Woody Johnson, who's obviously worked really hard on things, because look

at the Jets. So I wanted to go ahead and compare and go, well, like, where did the Jets compare to like what we consider to be the worst of college football's franchises in terms of the experience? And I know a lot of mitigating factors. We're just going to do win percentage here, right? Winning percentage. What is the time frame that you're looking at?

So I got data back to 2003 that was like easily searchable and I didn't have to like collate myself pregame. So went ahead and went back to 2003. Woody Johnson becomes owner of the New York Jets in the year 2000. So losing out to James Dolan in the process, James Dolan was the second place bid for the Jets. Imagine the heights, Ryan. It would be better. I hate to tell you this. It would be far better for the Jets if Jimmy Dolan was the owner.

Oh, that's so grim. The recent history of the Knicks and the Rangers certainly suggests that they would be better than the Jets. It's not a very high bar, but they would, yes, the Jets would be better than they are now. That's amazing. And that may be more damning than anything I'm about to compare, but we're going to try. I'm going to ask you since 2003 versus the record of these college football programs post 2000, who's higher or lower? I'm going to start with. This is not more or less.

I want to be clear. We are not playing more or less. This one's for free. This one's for the real fans. True hardcore. Sorry, go ahead. Iowa State. Since 2003?

Yes. There are not, I feel like Iowa State for a long stretch there was never like Ted Ruth Duke bad. Like there weren't a lot of like, oh, they went 0.12. It was more like, boy, this is a real four and 18. like not making bowls and not winning a lot of games but like could throw some out there and then obviously under matt campbell it's improved substantially and even some of the old paul road's teams would have a year where it was like all right we got seven wins i love you more than

anything um yeah i will say iowa state has a higher winning percentage than the jets in this time period you are correct with a 0.434 win percentage total iowa state has a higher higher win percentage than the Jets. Jason, I'm going to give you a program that died and came back as the dead man of college football.

That's right, UAB. UAB, does UAB have a higher or lower win percentage than the Jets since 2003? Well, Trent Dilfer is working around the clock to lower it, but UAB's absent years did not incur any losses, and when they came back,

They had a team of 35-year-olds who were just ready to win. So, I mean, I got to say UAB. They weren't killed because they were terrible in the first place. That's right. It's an essential part of the UAB conspiracy. They were a threat, a threat to Bama. That's why they denied them the coaching genius of hiring Jimbo Fisher, which for a long time was,

how dare you do that to UAB and prevent them from the brilliant guidance of Jimbo Fisher? and that quickly became Ah, dodged a bullet there, buddy. UAB, yes, higher. 441. 0.441. The program that literally died has a better win percentage

than the New York Jets. Ryan, Speed Brown, Rutgers. Oh, wow. Since 2003? Mm-hmm. Definitely higher. That includes a bunch of the good big Easterers. That is correct.

471. Brutely 7%. Jason, Mississippi State. Higher. They've had several good years. Correct. 49.8% win percentage. Ryan, Wazoo! This is trickier. That's a tough one, dog.

Yeah. I know the theme, so I'm going to say higher. I don't think you're going to throw Wazoo under the bus today. I don't think that's in you, so I'm going to say they have a higher win percentage. Oh, it is in me. but I can't because the data the numbers are the numbers they have a

459 that is 45. I don't think the ACC would take the New York Jets either for what it's worth. They've already got a New York team. Right? Syracuse. That's Syracuse. Yes, correct.

It was just as close to New York as the Jets are. Yeah, that's correct. Certainly more in New York than the Jets are. I love the geographic riddle that is Syracuse, Because if you ask anyone from New York where it is, they're like, it's not there. It's a long story. Is it West New York?

No. Have you played Silent Hill? Yes. That's where it is. It's Silent Hill, but Bob Costas is in the closet going. But without a hill. I'm the ghost of baseball. And lastly, Jason, Kansas.

Kansas. Oh, Jesus. All right. So this includes the 07 season. It includes 07 and 08. And the last couple years. But it also includes zeros and ones and twos. For Kansas, I will say this is the one that I feel most inclined to say they have been equal to the Jets.

Equal is a equal, you are, you got a good heart, Jason. You got a good heart. And that's why we love you. And that's also why you're wrong. Because Kansas actually has a 33.6% wind rate, much lower than the Jets who are camping out at that 40,000. 3.3%. There is one college football program that has posted an identical win percentage, thus giving you the exact feel by wins and losses that a New York Jets fandom would give you. So if you had to switch from one to the other, if the doctor said you

have too much New York Jets in your bloodstream, but I need to ease you onto something which is similar. This is the generic. Your prescription. I need to switch you to generic jets. Because your insurance is definitely not covering the jets. This is a power conference team? It is a power conference team. I have a guess in my head. So we've got to aim lower, just a bit lower than the last 20. Right, right.

We're aiming a bit lower than the past 20 years of Rutgers, which that's really fucking low. It's pretty low. Indiana. That is a really good guess, but Indiana is actually lower than the New York Jets. I was going to say Purdue. Ryan, with a win percentage of exactly 43.3%. the Purdue boarder-makers are, in fact, the New York Jets of college football. That was close.

I don't know about that. I don't know how I feel about hitting that half-court shot. Same academic standards. Yep. I think you should, yeah, same academic standards. Same drum size. There is no reason why the Jets couldn't adopt their own version of Purdue, Pete. It's the mascot.

Just horrified New York. They would fucking love that. That would be their gritty. It's just, it's a, fucking sad white guy. That's basically what Adam Gase was. He looks like the kids, he looks like the wife took the kids and left him

because he spent too much time at the OTB too. Because he spent too much time watching the fucking jets. I have, they both, what does Purdue make? What do Purdue grad's design? Boilers. And,

damn it. He's got you there. It's in the name, dummy. and I like to boil my fucking sandwiches in the sun. A second member. During my 30 minutes of sun time per year. Jets! Yeah, sure.

Can I share with you some... So the Jets have the longest active NFL playoff draft at 13 years. It feels like it was just yesterday. It's so fucking bad. Jason, it's funny you mention that. The last playoff game that the Jets participated in was on January 23rd, 2011. I'd like to share with y'all a few facts about what the world was like at that time. Okay.

Number one, the shutdown fullback, the video predecessor to this podcast, did not exist yet. Had not been made yet. It was not real. Number two, Entourage was still airing new episodes. That we were not done telling the story of Ansaraj The last time the Jets played in a playoff game Oh, yeah Number three

Only four Fast in the Furious movies Had been released Got only four And it was at a creative lull It was at a turning point for sure And number four Osama bin Laden was still alive The last time

The last time the Jets made So if you tell a Jets fan all right you get the Jets in the playoffs you get entourage back

but we got to bring back Osama are you taking that deal Jets fans call in sound off they're like

fuck yes for bringing him back I don't give a shit not even hard not even hard decision there Mikey so fucking much I gotta fucking do it

that way we can fucking kill them twice JETS bring back Osama it's like a Netflix roof You just do it again.

We just fucking do it again. Like that fucking movie with Tom Cruise except as Osama. Just hit reset. That's fine. I'm a Jets fan. I hit reset every off season. He's fucking tall.

How can he hide? You can play for the fucking Knicks. He should hoop. He's left taller than Tom fucking Cruz. I'll tell you that. This is my favorite part of the entire Jets mythos besides the fact that their owner really might drown if he looked up during a rain store, right? That's the explanation. It's like, why are you so bad?

You're like, your owner sucks. He's he's either dumb or he's incompetent or he is a spectacular combination of both. And I don't even think it's his fault because when you're born wealthy, you have no reason to really learn how to do anything. None, right? Like, he should have people dial his phone for him. He probably does. Somebody might have done that from the delivery room if you look up that story about Woody Johnson.

Go go look up the delivery. Go Google search. He delivers for the New York Jets, which is why you should Google search Woody Johnson delivery room for an outstanding story about him. Yeah, this is my favorite part of the mythos, and it's this.

Of all of the coaches he hired, now he inherited Herm Edwards, and boy, what a golden inheritance that is. He inherited Herm Edwards But of the coaches that he is hired Eric Mangini is no longer in football He does not He does not do football anymore

He is us He writes for a website That's really what he does And works on a website Adam Gase Adam Gase Once he left the New York Jets He just left football

He's not He hasn't coached since no listed consultancies none of that just just out he's just done the thing that he loved and devoted his entire life to the new york jets just reached into his chest and pulled it out he's also he's also doing the media thing and he is also doing like the digital website thing yeah yes rex ryan ricks ryan another content creator another content creator and content enjoyer the instagram innovator yeah An enthusiast of many things. Rex Ryan is no longer in football. He does media. Flashes and pearly whites on ESPN. Only Todd Bowles.

Only Todd Balls is still coaching. The Jets have a 75% kill rate when it comes to careers for head coaches and may be higher depending on what Robert Solid does, which I hope he does whatever he wants and takes Woody Johnson's money. and spends it on a boat because that's what

Woody Johnson would do. It's true. Speaking of money, podcast business, what's the business? Podcast business. It's a business. Podcast business.

It's time to do sales and ads and sales and sales and stuff and make that money. I realize that I have been living a lie. And that lie is about hoodie season. I have always thought, well, hoodie season means. when the weather is such outside that it's time to put a hoodie on.

And I have let the external control me. Then I realized it could be hoodie season whatever you want, just depending on what you do with your day. If you go to the movie theater, if you go to a walk-in freezer, if you go to an ice skating rink, if you go to the mall. There are all sorts of places where you can wear a hoodie,

and it doesn't matter what time of year it is, and it doesn't matter what the weather is outside. and that's why it's huddy season not only now but it has been for months it's always been hoodie season and it's certainly hoodie season at homefield apparel dot com do they have other things that aren't hoodies yes are those things great as well yes but i'm here to talk to you about hoodies today is hoodie season yesterday was hoodie season next week hoodie season fourth of july hoodie season for all of those for the endless hoodie season that you have now entered now that you have decided

the weather and time don't matter, you go to homefield apparel.com, use offer code fullcasts, you get 20% off your first order, and you buy, just to be safe, I'm going to go ahead and say it,

365 hoodies. That's what you do. I don't know if they have 365, but I bet it's closer than you think. Not 365 individual. They might, like there are, I think,

at least 200 schools. I know for, several schools, they have multiple options. So, like, maybe if we said crewnecks and hoodies, I think you could get to 365. No, no, no. I think you're just going to need to double up on some of these things, which is, which is great. That's right. You need a formal hoodie and a, and a casual hoodie. Remember, hoodie, also rain gear, if you are from the south. If you run fast. Yes, that's right. Yeah. That's right. It's a bed that travels with you. Mm-hmm. It's a disguise as every Marvel movie shows.

If you are clever enough, it's a suitcase that you wear. You can just stuff things into it and carry them with you. It's got a carry case for your sandwich. That's right. That's right. To protect it from the sun until you're ready to cook. Once it's until you're ready to unlock the nutrients, doctors don't want you to have more to know about. Cool your sandwich off a little bit.

You tuck it in your kangaroo pouch. Yep. So yeah. That's my mission to you, gentle listener. 365 hoodies in some combination and if you've never ordered before and you use offer code full cast listen man i got to tell you that savings gonna fucking stun you when you see 20% off whatever 365 times the hoodie cost is if you do that that is 73 free hoodies oh my like why are you throwing away 73 free hoodies you fools you tell me there's a way to get 73 free

hoodies, not just hoodies, but home field quality hoodies. I am sprinting toward that deal. Like, I got to be honest, once home field hears that we've revealed this, they're going to be furious. They're going to be so mad at us for sharing this with you. That we've revealed the secret to you to get 73 of their hoodies just for free, for no money. We're going to be so fired. We're so fired. Yeah. Offer not valid in states and fault in reality. Ryan, I'd just like to thank you to the Eternal H hoodie agenda. Wherever a person in a hoodie are together, there is hoodie season. That's right.

That's right. Yes. I would also say, for a sweaty bros out there, it's always T-shirt season, too. 30 degrees? Oh, the schism begins already. That's it. The Avignon Papacy of the field. It's always pants season.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Because if it's hot outside, you still need jammies. Sure. Yeah. There. Yeah. Buts must be covered.

Legally speaking. Legally speaking, butts must be covered. If I want to get anything done in this town, that's right. What kind of things do you want to get done? You know what? I really called him on that one. You got some picks you got to make? You know what?

I was thinking about making some picks. I was thinking maybe about especially making some picks that were especially prized. Yeah, let's hear about it. That's right. It's the full cast sponsored by prize picks. That's right, prize picks. You're the best place to get real.

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you know what we're still up on the year had a rough week last week but if I had to look ahead and give a more or less I'm looking at Jackson Dart versus LSU am I feeling about 292 and a half pass yards

I'm going to go ahead and go I'm going to go less It's definitely one here's the thing It will definitely be one of them It will definitely be one of them and you can pick it Shoulder Sanders If I'm looking at 310 and a half passing yards versus

Kansas State. I don't know. Kind of think since that's what Colorado's got. I might go more. Sure. Sure. Yeah. But you can see, you can see, me gorilla, me know nothing, but me, good gorilla.

Yes, me good gorilla and me can do prize picks. Also, by the way, you can win up to a hundred times your money on prize picks with as little as four correct picks. Four. You sign up today, you get $50 instantly when you play $5, don't even need to win to receive the $50. bonus, Spencer, you beautiful, smart grella, it's guaranteed to you. Prize fix, run your game. That, of course, means it is time to play our weekly game presented by prize picks. More or less, we are at a point in the season where we have enough data on most teams

that we can sort of look at where they are trending year over a year, where they improving, where are they not on track? Where do they sort of look to be vis-a-vis 2023? And so, Jason and Spencer, I'm going to give you some statistics for a few select teams and one player, and I want you to tell me if they are doing the thing that I have indicated

more or less than they did it last year. We're going to start with the Michigan Wolverines. in six games this season Michigan has turned the ball over 12 times Michigan played 15 games last year including the playoffs did they have more or less turnovers

last year than the 12 they have coughed up this year I'm gonna go less but more less I'm gonna go less they did indeed have less last year Michigan only turned all over eight times all year long.

They far exceeded that already. Indiana is tied for seventh in the country with 19 sacks on the year. Is that more or less than the total number of sacks that they had in 2023? Mm. More. Less. It is less. But I mean more.

It is less. But only by one. they had 20 sacks last year and finished 113th in FBS Florida State You're less Florida State Florida State has converted

11 fourth down attempts in 2023 A lot of reasons to go for it on fourth down these days at FSU Is that more or less than the 14 games they played last year 11 fourth down conversions this year That's so many Sorry I said in 2023

It's in 2024 I'm going to go more Yeah That's got to It seems like more It is more Last year they had 10 fourth down conversions Already existed

I have to say Jordan Travis Was papering over a lot of those third and shorts Much like Cam Ward this year Which is why you should definitely invest on Miami 2025 Miami Hurricanes 2024 Not a cryptocurrency boyed by Cam Ward bucks not definitely not uh the arkansas defense this season has allowed five plays that gained at least

50 yards if we're looking at 2023 is that more or less than what they allowed last season i'm going to say less this is a really tough one because they just had such a great defensive game they did so um well i guess less i didn't believe this and i'm still not sure i do Arkansas only allowed two 50-yard gains 50-plus-yard gains last year So they're actually trending more For whatever just 49 per play Yeah, that's right

Stop you right there And lastly One of our favorites Boise States Ashton Genti Has 16 rushing touchdowns this year After five games Did he have more or less than that

In 2023? I'm going to say less. I don't remember Boise being great at running the ball. Yeah, I'm going to go last year. It is less. He had 14 rushing touchdowns last year. He's already had 16 this year, which is just silly. It's just silly.

He has some highlights where it's like, I've already seen this. And the highlight is then like, no, you haven't. Yeah, no. Yeah, he does that time dislocation thing where you wonder where you are in the broadcast. Like, I've clicked go to live when it is live because I'm like, oh, I've already He's seen this. Nope. Yeah.

You just saw a slightly different version of it. No, he's just beating ass with such regularity. That was the 73 yard touchdown. This is the 74 yard touchdown. They're entirely different. They're subtle. It's notes. This one has wormwood in it.

Can you taste it? Mm. We're not done with podcast business. Spencer, what's our big announcement this week on podcast business? Our big announcement is this. you've been tricked you were to believe that we were to tell you about the podcast business that is true but now we flip the tables on you okay we're going to go ahead and ask you for some business that's right the announcement is that you are listening to the independent rootin toting six gun shooting solo free as a bird podcast that is right we we are an independent production and we are soliciting

sponsors. That's right. Sponsors, come on, come all to the shutdown forecast because we like your money and you will love our audience. Hey, audience, you're wonderful people. You like to buy things. Yeah. You're cultured people.

People who make a fair amount of money and you know what? You do save responsibly but I also know you like spending it. I know you like spending that money. Most importantly, we respect the ad copy. 100% every ad you've heard on this show line for a line we don't improvise we stick to the script

if that's what the script said hey if the script said Bombas wanted coyote prevention sock read that week that's what we gave him baby Gatorade you wanted you wanted us to be on the ceiling like these aren't our choices to make we respect

what you your creative vision as the advertiser I guess we are but animatronics here to be programmed we are the vessel for your message. And again, it is your message. Do you want to reach an audience so smart, so affluent, so educated, that they can afford to be this stupid for an hour and a half? You realize what an antidote we are to the rest of their highly competent, professional, composed, and

intelligent lives, ones where they make sensible decisions, like buying your products. We see their jobs on LinkedIn. They have, like, good and important jobs. We see their governments. There's some impressive people listening to this thing. Advertisers, within the sound of our voices, you have the chance to deliver your product to the ears of people who are so employable that they are not afraid of being fired for verifiably participating in this podcast on Saturday night at 1 a.m. Yeah. That is how unfireable these people are.

That is, that is steady. In front of God and their employers. Everyone can see it. Everyone, everyone, everyone can see it. And they're not afraid. They don't need to be. That's right. That's right.

Also, the FBI. The FBI I know is listening to this podcast. You can get them too. They're great. They got them government checks. They're not going anywhere. Yep. That's how that works, 100%.

You want folks, you want the degenerates and cops, but I repeat myself to buy your product. If government agency, like U.S. Post Office, if you want to advertise on this podcast, go ahead. But wait, how pray tell would an advertiser reach out to appear on this podcast, Spencer? why they could just email us at shutdown fullcast at gmail.com. That's right. Shutdown fullcast at gmail.com. You, you, reach out. That's so easy. Shake our hands. That's so easy. And I know some of you are thinking like, well, I'm the advertising such and such at this company and maybe I'll reach out. I also know some of you are thinking like, ha ha, L-O-L, if I pay them enough money, will they read my silly message? Ha-ha-L-O-L. The answer is contained within the words, enough money.

You don't, yeah, you don't know. I mean, for no money. money, we did a lot of talking about hungry how he's glitter pizza. Let's not pretend we won't hear you out. Let's see how stupid your idea is. Is what you want us to talk about better than glitter pizza? I think we'll at least have a conversation with you. And to be clear, it will take money. To be clear. Yeah, that's true. I just see the like exchange meme, the like business meme with the guy with the class pants. Like, you give us money. In return, glitter pizza propaganda. Litter pizza. Propaganda.

All right. Our projects and such that we have go. We have no more live shows right now to talk about. We have a secret live show that we will talk about, I don't know, let's say in the next few weeks. Sure. Don't worry about it. And we will link our usual projects and such in the description of this show. Anybody else have any podcast business before we are?

There is one I wanted to mention. Go for it. I have seen listeners of our show and other college football. people wondering whether this past Saturday was the craziest weekend in college football history. And there are not many things where I think I might be the most informed person, but this is the one, if there is such a thing. I have a spreadsheet on this exact topic, and I've gone through it to try and create a list of like the absolute top tier craziest weekends in college football history. And I could skim through a little bit of it if y'all want, but it's, it's, it's

very numbersy, so I don't think it's best for audio. It's going on in my substack. It'll be part of the free college football watch grid available on Thursday this week. And, yeah, I'll just say the short version is 2020, 2020, week six is on the list. Can I make, or I haven't seen the list. Can I make a request for future interpretations of the list that I was thinking about when we were going through Blood Week? Yes.

the rules of blood week have no don't require any context as to where we are in the season you can have a blood week week one or week two you can have it week eleven like wherever it happens it happens i do kind of wonder because the early part of the season is so dependent on preseason rankings and the late part of the season the rankings are at least more based on what you have done i'm not going to pretend like we've purged all the bias out of the system by then i do wonder if if there is something that makes a Blood Week later in the season a little umpier because you know like, oh, this is a team that's number six because they have won nine games already and not, oh, this is preseason top 10 Florida State. P.S. they're about to be one and four. Yeah, definitely. I think the factor here that is handy. One in five.

I'm sorry Thank you Honestly That's on me I apologize They're hard to keep track of We're gonna, hey We're gonna leave

Listen Obviously we take a lot of care editing this podcast We own our mistakes Florida State is not one and four They are one in five I repeat The Florida State Seminoles

Have a record of one win And five losses Thank you so much Michael Serber Is this so many losses Who could keep up with them They're coming in And again that's only

As of the time You're listening That's as of Tuesday October 8th at 2.15 in the afternoon central time. If you're listening to this at a later date, it's possible Florida State is 1 in 6, 1 in 7, 1 in 8. The numbers could change, that's all.

They will. Oh, they will. So the most common week in which a blood week, defined as a week in which three top 10 teams suffer upsets, along with other shit, the most common week in which that happens is two weeks before Thanksgiving, the week right before SoCon Saturday.

There are almost as many of those as like all of September and October combined. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's like if there's a week to circle as the week when shit will go down, it's that weekend. Thanksgiving is always heavy. You know, there's the old saying about like, in a rivalry, we rig you throw out the records out.

And that is often very true. Like there are lots of rivalries where it is not just a saying. I think the peak exam, I have six weekends on here. So that's how great this past weekend was. It's one of the six of the AP era. the one that jumps out the most is what you're saying, Ryan, is a highly infamous one.

Conference title weekend 2007. There were only three ranked upsets that day. One was just Oregon State v. Oregon. But the other two directly knocked a national title team out of the national title race. So, like, Bama losing to Vandy, that might not mean anything.

Bama might win the national title this year. Bama is still in fine shape to make the playoff. It might end up altering very little. little. Mizzou losing to Oklahoma again, directly, personally altered the title game and the other game also happened. Great things happened for Pitt. Okay. Where can people find this newsletter and the watch grid and all of that? That is going on my substack, jasonkirk.fye.

All right. Cerber, unless you have any other Florida State corrections or business you want to drop in. No, they just fucking set. Again, thank you, thank you for your constant vigilance. All right, can we declare podcast business closed? Podcast business is closed. Okay, great, new outro song. Love it.

Remember it, folks. We'll definitely remember it. Do we have anything before we want to do some schedule review? No, I think it's time to look at the schedule. Oh, real quick, the Jets play on Monday night coming up this. the bills right yes yes part of part of four evening games they are slated to play over the next over their next six games thank you NFL for deciding we all needed nighttime nighttime night time watches of the New York Jets I wonder if the call came in they were like

listen Al Michaels doesn't have anything to talk about you got you got to can the coach so keep him awake oh god yeah all right but we're not talking about the Jets schedule are we we're not we're talking about the college football schedule where on the night of this recording there is a football game and not to say that this is you know you root for whoever you want but when florida international plays liberty the choice should be clear dollay so that was the night of the recording the night of the release we also have new mexico state jack state it's a confusing game sure that's what i have to say say about that.

Sure. Thursday, lots of little stuff is happening. Coastal JMU. Yeah? That's a sunbelt, a sunbelt, you know,

you never know what counts is like a, that's the most important game in the sunbelt, but it's a, it has a potential. Yeah. Yeah, two four and one teams.

That's a quality matchup. The other ones, not, not really. On Friday, we have Northwestern Railway, it's not northwestern, so I'm not going to watch it. I'm only watching

Northwestern games. if they're playing in their little sailboat. Utah at Arizona State. Four in one Arizona State. Did you know that? Did America know Arizona State is the same record as Utah? Yeah, they did because all of America

loves Camp Scataboo. That's right. The man, the myth, the midriff, the legend. Legitimately, really fun running back to watch and Arizona State. The improved Arizona State Sun Devils against

someone's going to play quarterback for Utah Is it possible to know whether Camerising is injured, existent, or even here? No, no, it is not. Stop asking questions. I wonder if he's just like mummified at this point. He's getting real close to Emperor territory, right? Yeah.

Is he alive? Is he there? The God quarterback. Yeah. Big nude Washington, Iowa is a conference game. Washington, Iowa, the matchup that in a thousand iterations of what are you excited to watch in the new Big Ten? I am not saying this will not be scintillating football, but this was not the one that everyone was like, ah, at last, at last we have Washington versus Oslo. Well, I think there is some value to, if you are unhappy with the current state of college football realignment, you have to take comfort where you can get it.

And one of the comforts is Washington has already had to go on the road and play Rutgers on a Friday night and lose. And now Washington has to go on the road. Coming off a Michigan victory, they were so geeked about that they made T-shirts for, I saw. And it's like, oh, that's not good. That's a choice. And now they have to, and listen, I know Iowa ultimately did not do much against Ohio State. But, like, I think we know how this certainly can go. where Washington is like, Jesus Christ, we've been playing for 45 minutes and we have 18 yards and it's tied.

I hate everything that's happening right now. It's a very real possibility here because I think this is, I've seen teams that, you know, in our newsletter, the Channel 6, top whatever, that sums up the week in college football. Look at I'm sneaking podcast business outside of, wow, okay. Look at that. That's fine. It's so smooth. Yes, that's what you get with a quality independent podcast. That says what it wants.

See how good we are at advertising? Shutdown fullcast at gmail.com. And that you can sponsor for just the low price of discussed at shutdownfulcast. However much money we want. That's right. How much money do you have? That is how much we would like. Shutdownfoolcast.gatgmail.com potential sponsors.

Hello, foreign investor. This is a team that will, that wants you to put your hand. in the bear trap, right? Iowa sits there and goes, a pitcher, bitch, bitch you won't put your hand in this bear trap. And Iowa State's like, nah, we're too smart to put our hands in the bear trap. You know who might not be too smart to put their hands in the bear trap? Washington. Washington seems like a team that will actively try to do things. And I have seen what happens when teams actively try to do things and make big things happen

against Iowa. Iowa takes the ball from you and wins. Maybe. That's how that works. The overrunner for this game is 41.5. It is not the lowest over under of the day It is not the lowest under under over under of the time slot It's not even the lowest over under of a big 10 game in this time slot That belongs to Wisconsin at Rutgers also at noon Which has an over under a 40.5 Disgusting less

Disgusting Less Missou was ranked number nine in the country was now they are on the road at UMass what a confusing statement that is yeah we pointed this out preseason as the what the fuck are you doing game

but that still definitely applies here and you might be tempted to go ah UMass there this is this is a real threat here Missouri they're they're reeling they're really don't nobody ever reel that art Just don't reel that hard. They need that much real. Yeah.

You don't have that much. You don't have that much reel in your real tank. Don't, so stop reeling. Okay. Missouri's probably going to win that game and it'll be fine. But a game that you should keep your eye on, at least in terms of, hey, John Boy's quote, it will be interesting to see who wins this football game because I don't know, man. I don't know anything after last week.

South Carolina is at Alabama. You talk about real? feeling I guess I don't think we're prepared for how bad that like obviously obviously the reaction to losing to Vanderbilt on the road was quite big if you turn around and lose at home to South Carolina a South Carolina team that mostly got handled easily by old mess that yeah okay they're going to be like why why are you coaching him with a shirt yeah should be out there naked so then see shame That's right. Bama loses at home to South Carolina and then loses to Tennessee. Is a three-game losing streak enough to get him fired? No. No, it's not.

No, no, no, no. It's a four game. Let's just keep playing this game. Four? They got to play Missouri after that. No. Five? They got to go to LSU after that.

Keep going. Lose to Auburn. At that point, they're four and five. Now, if you can extend this lost streak all the way to the Iron Bowl. so if they lose to Mercer you're keeping him okay okay then to Oklahoma and then to Auburn to finish four and eight yes

then he's gone I can see it being impossible yeah and then Kail and Abor goes to Florida as a national title I don't think he's making it that far if that streak of losses is intact

yeah that's it you can fun part is we could also play this game for the coach at Auburn Alabama the state is in a great spot. And you a B. We don't have to.

Yeah. And you have just, here we go. I'm putting the entire state on on nuke watch, right? On, we're just going to see mushroom clouds. Yeah. Because that whole state is a goddamn mess when it comes to football right now. Right now, as of this day. Can I tell you, so the three most chaotic proper nouns in all of college football,

everyone agrees they are Georgia Tech, North Carolina, and the CW. Yeah. You're getting all. three of them at once to start your day. Wake the fuck up. That's a lot. I don't know if I. That's a lot. That's a lot.

It's good. Like, it's good to sort of like get up and immediately sort of be like, all right, I got my workout in. And you're going to do that psychologically with the Georgia Tech North Carolina game on the CW. Oh, you won't be getting, listen, that little sprint workout that you did, that little light shake them off workout, it doesn't compare to the emotional muscles that Jeff Collins is going to be flexing.

Because the defensive coordinator. roundly blamed for almost all of UNCC's problems. And where was he before just to remind the listener? Heck, that's Georgia Tech. Oh, boy. Good. So it's a revenge game in North Carolina Stadium

on the CW Network while UNC is in the middle of a three-game losing streak. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, do you want to know what's precious? What's really precious? That's right. The memories Jeff Collins had at Georgia Tech. His players, the emotional bond, he's going to,

they won't have that the minute Jeff Collins quit they were all like whoa let's play like hell for Brinkey the offensive line coaches in charge we're eating two burgers for dinner boys um is this is it possible we get one of the rarest things I think in a college football season do we get a sort of normal and by normal

I mean not coming down to the wire with things going absolutely off the rails red river game hmm that that That feels, whew. That's a big bad. We've had other years where it seemed like one team was clearly better than the other,

and it's just like they should win by two touchdowns. And it frequently doesn't work that way. Yeah. I would never dare to anticipate a normal Red River. Okay. Okay. Yeah. However, that may be.

That may be the most controversial bet you could make, though, is to say, hey, I bet this one's not going to be close. And by the way, looking at these two teams, it should not be particularly close. Yeah, on paper. And what happens to paper in the Red River? It gets fried and eaten. Mmm, delicious. Announcers, journalists, and observers always imply the same thing when this game comes on,

which is, it's a little bit early out here at the Cotton Bowl. flying that everybody's just bloated from the like 1,500 to 2,000 calorie breakfast. I ain't steak fried marshmallows this morning. My body's rejecting them as hard as it can. Yeah, that's right. Welcome to the sound of my innards, rebelling against reality.

That's why Big Tex isn't moving very much. His stomach hurts so bad. It's where I am. I got a shit. He's not waving. He's saying no more food. Please stop. beating me.

Stop the car, I got a poop. There's always the thing about shaming the half of the stadium that clears out once the score is out of reach, but like, man, those people got to go throw up. Yep, yep. They do. Also, zero, like, no shade. Like, you just, just cooking. I've never been there.

I understand it's a great environment, but I just have to say physically that looks like a big ask. It looks like a big ask for everyone involved. Yeah. I'm going to say that I feel. bad for James Franklin. And here's why. A first in the history of this podcast.

It's not a sentiment we'd normally extend. Penn State is going to USC at 3.30 Eastern on CBS. And here's the predicament that James Franklin has. USC is unranked after losing to Minnesota. And if James Franklin

beats USC on the road, which they are favored to do it's not going to count for a lot like it's it's certainly not going to get the whole like oh finally pen state under james franklin wins like a big ranked game that they needed to not true won't happen it's still USC in some regards and it's still you know a team that we have seen be capable of big performances uh the trojans that is but a win isn't going it's just not going to move the needle because Minnesota kind of took all the air out of it. Michigan had a hand in that too. And if you lose, now you've lost two unranked USC who Michigan, who looks like, let's generously say an unbalanced team and Minnesota, who has been fine, but it's not like,

oh my God, this is the Minnesota year necessarily, who they beat. So it's not like winning is good. And I don't mean to suggest, and certainly for Penn State fans, nobody's going to be mad if Penn State wins, but on the sort of like national respectometer or whatever, if Penn State goes into the Coliseum and wins easily, it's not, it's just not going to get the same sort of credit that it might otherwise for reasons completely out of James Franklin's control. And that's why I feel bad for him. That's all. I will say this, if Penn State wins, someone will be mad because they, I think it might be the state of Pennsylvania. Like, you know, I believe every fan base is 99% of the same, and that 1% is largely due to circumstances that have happened to him. But in every sporting league, it's the Pennsylvanians who you never know whether they're a team won or lost. Yeah.

Like at the end of the game, it's like, it's a mystery. You look it up and then, you know, oh, the baseball game was 3 to 2. Oh, I never would have guessed. I would have guessed 16 to negative 5. That's why Ben Franklin fled to France, all horny, because it couldn't deal with it. Right. Too stressful. So horny from.

how the eagles, eagles were doing. But yeah, Penn's like, there are several college football fan bases who really have that. I think Ohio State is number one. And Penn State is certainly up there. Ohio State fans, which I think is, with them, it's totally circumstantial. They have no idea what it's like when their team sucks. So they pretend their team sucks every single week. Right.

You know, like, oh, God, we're so asked. You won 35 nothing. Which is baffling because it's like a lot of you are Browns fans. You are familiar with this. You know what this emotion is. Like, you know what, we understand that you have experienced struggle and strife. You don't need to put, you don't need to pretend on this side of things. Yeah, just hold up your browns, um, shades and look through them at Ohio State.

Yeah. Does Ohio State look like the Browns? If not, you're fine. Yeah. I, the idea of Ben Franklin, by the way, in, you know, 1772 being like, oh, my favorite cockfighting team, just like, they're not getting it done. I mean, myself. No, and Ben, who knows what kind of cockfighting.

Me and the fellas go out and slap dicks together. Because we're so fucking horny. Yeah, boys, I'm big into conventions. Bring it in. Jesus Christ. Yeah, but I just know that like Ben Franklin being the Philly guy that he is at one point was basically like, yeah, I've seen enough here. I'm going to go home and hang myself for this team.

And everyone was like, he's not really going to go do it. He's just, he just loves this team a lot. That's why he's threatening suicide in the middle of this sporting event. Dramatic Ben. Gonna go drive a mule into the blacksmithing shop. Speaking of Pennsylvania, the Calgarism comes to Pitt. 3.30. Every, man, you know what?

Every Cal game is an event. Every single one of them. I didn't say they were all big events. And all pit, and every pit game this season has been an event. Like, this is... Five and O pit. Five and O pit. wins in

interesting circumstances, let's say. Like, certainly after the ending of the Cal Miami game, and I apologize if you listen to the full cast after Dark, after it was recorded, and you're like, these idiots, do they not know what happened to Cal after they stopped recording? We do, and we feel bad about it. Very aware. You could name any outcome, any series of events

for Cal Pitt, and I think I've would believe you. Remember, they're just as confusing for them as they are for everyone else. Pitt, of course, with the number six scoring offense in the country, just how they like it. As you do. Yeah. Old, old killer cow himself, Eli Holstein. We're going to come up with a good Gus Johnson nickname for him.

Ha ha! Speaking of unexpected success stories, or at least unexpected win-loss success stories, Virginia is four and one. and undefeited No, no, no, wait. I want you to know this. I know that you're like, well, Spencer didn't know something,

but for real, I, this is the first time I've heard that Virginia's four and one. Four and one, undefeated in ACC play. Their only loss came to Maryland who's not an ACC team. I'm legit concerned right now.

I know, I know. I'm saying a lot of confusing. I'm saying a lot of confusing things. They're hosting Louisville. Louisville is favored, but like, A lot on the road. We could be looking at 5 and 1, Virginia.

Maybe. I don't know. We live in good times. That's all. Don't lose this game. Okay. That would be very bad for you. Yeah.

I was going to say, by the way, going back, you know who's going to be really bad for Penn State beats USC Lincoln Riley? Oh, boy. That's a bad moment. That's a bad situation. They're all bad moments. They're all like. No, but they keep getting worse.

worse. Like, like, this week, he was, this week he interrupted a reporter and was like, he did the, he did the Kevin Garnett thing, like, don't answer that. Just so, like, somebody's asking a player request. He's like, that's not a professional question. I regret to inform you that I, I think Kevin Garnett is much cooler and more interesting. Yeah. I think that is correct. Also, Kevin Garnett has won something. Florida plays Tennessee. yeah okay air force plays new mexico yes i'd much rather talk about air force playing i look look because holly because holly exited the podcast i feel obligated to say on her behalf it's florida tennessee it's never it never makes sense it always goes weird so we can put that out into the

universe and also i i struggle even seeing how tennessee lost to arkansas and seeing how florida beat UCF and Mississippi State, I still am struggling to find the equation, the combination of words and deeds that ends with Florida winning this on the road. Could be wrong, I often am, that's all. Yeah, I will predict one thing. If Florida hops out to a 14-0-0 leave,

let me go ahead and state, that's the most meaningless 14 points you will ever see in your life. Okay. Be like, Florida's not 14. Nope. Just wait. Just wait.

Okay. Ohio State, Oregon, I'll miss all the shoe, both those are pretty important. The two is playing the three, and it's just pretty important. Minnesota, UCLA. Man, that's fucked up. Well, what are you, what, okay,

on Ohio State Oregon, yeah. Is this the, like, I know Oregon's played Boise State, and I know Ohio State played Michigan State, that's probably the best, but like,

there is something of like, okay, let's like actually, figure out something about these teams to this beyond like the normal stakes of what it is yeah i honestly i think the only reason i feel a little down on it is because it uh we're we're being gaslit into treating it like a big 10 game yeah i don't approve of that okay i just if this was a correctly marketed as a non-conference game i'd be all about it but i cannot buy into it i cannot support the fiction um that there will be conference standing your foolishness yeah okay

Stop that. Okay. Yeah, I would say this that, that if you look at both of these teams, the thing to me that would be the differentiator would be who is, because both quarterbacks can, both quarterbacks I would call, they're operating, which means that if you need them to make a spectacular play off script that is going to change the course of the game, I think you should just. continue waiting. That doesn't seem. I have a hard time scoring that with Ohio State's wide receiver talent, though. I know, I know. But I think that's where we're at.

You know, I don't think now, could I scheme up something to a wide receiver? Yes. But that is more difficult than if I give the guy under center or in shotgun the ball and I just ask him to make something happen, I, he, my coaching acumen has run out and I need a player to just bail everybody out on his own. without even necessarily getting the ball to a wide receiver in a designed manner, right? I don't think either team has that. And that to me says that the next thing you go is,

ah, well, who would we depend on, whomst would we depend on to run the ball better, right? And thus far, I believe that Ohio State has been better in that respect. with a stable of backs, including Quinshawn Judkins, you may remember from Old Miss. And that, to me, would be the difference in this game. I think that Ohio State manages to control tempo, control clock might be. This is interesting.

They had Iowa as a buildup to this game, and that's fascinating because I think that's a good mode to adopt because they're going to be super patient. Just be super patient. Dylan Gabriel will make mistakes. Their defense is number one. in F-plus right now. Oregon's 14.

I think this will be a very useful test of like, we sort of know what the big, shiny elements of the Ohio State offense are. If Ohio State actually does have the best defense in college football or even one of the four best defenses in college football, that becomes a really useful data point going forward. And that I think this is the, this will be on the road. against a team that certainly is going to try

to do some interesting things on offense you would expect. I think this is a good sort of like early test of that possibility. That's some actual football talk. Look at that. Look at that content. See, if you like that kind of content

and you want a sponsor, shut down fullcast at gmail.com, potential sponsor. I mean, if someone pays us, what if someone pays us to, like, do a very serious chalk talk segment? Sure. Yeah. Sure.

Great. fine um old miss lSU i i have no chalk talk for this is just this is just feelings man you want to talk about the opposite of control the clock yeah and uh do things that makes sense and strategize they ain't doing none of that shit here there's going to be some big feelings in this game uh yeah massive feelings old miss um got right by absolutely dominating uh last week against South Carolina was not particularly close in any respect. After the early, this, this, this is kind of how Brian Kelly does shit. After some serious early dysfunction, we're now kind of in, for the moment,

a quiet semi-function, right? Where they're just too talented to really mess up a whole lot, right? However, this is a legitimate test. We could get some real serious dysfunction. in this game. You should also know pretty even recently.

All-Miss won last year. You're before that, it was LSU. Before that, it was L-Miss? Before that, it was L-S-U-S-U? And a lot of... I feel like this is frequently the, like,

whoever has the ball last wins the game match-up. That was the way it was last year, for sure. So I don't see a dissimilar dynamic between these teams this year. So do you like an over. I like an over.

I like more. More. This feels like and there's probably another game I'm forgetting. I know we're not trying to overly focus on the playoff, but this feels like maybe the first game that is going to function as not necessarily an eliminator because

two losses, you know, for LSU would be only one conference loss. You can still make the playoff for sure. But it will be put you on life support i suspect like your your room for error goes way way down for whoever loses this game yeah definitely like this is this would be a this would put you this would put you your credit card bill has been due for a couple months now yeah yeah and you'll be making

minimums yeah yeah that's what's happening here um iowa state remains undefeated five and oh five and oh five no i have a state what which west virginia team will they get when they face them on Saturday night, you tell me, because West Virginia's 3 and 2, but they are 2 and 0 in conference. Yeah. The Neil Brown Teeter-totter continues. One week, we're up. The next week. We lose by 20.

Boise State, Hawaii. Closeer, baby. Closer. If you want, this does kick at 11 p.m. Eastern. So if you want to go to sleep to a loop of Ashton Jeanty, scoring 70-yard TDs, this would probably be the way to do it.

yeah yeah you didn't miss anything he's just doing the same shit over and over again and no one can stop him