Shutdown Fullcast - 2022 College Football Playoff Expansion: The Shutdown Fullcast Guide

Episode Date: June 15, 2021

 - It’s a time of great upheaval and change in our fair sport, and we responded the best way we know how: By talking for half an hour about the nerve center, the beating heart of the game. That’s right: It’s the New York City mayoral race. Please rate and review our college football podcast.  - who is VANILLA PRIME?? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I just think a middle ground would be really, really, really stupid. And I'm glad we would never do that. Good news. Bill Hancock agrees with every word I said at one time or another because time is a social construct. I'm imagining Bill Hancock on Jeopardy, giving nothing but wrong answers and being like, wait, time will avenge me. All of these answers will prove right one day. Bill Hancock is the snack genie in your brain at 1130 at night, right? Yeah, except the snack genie is serving. nothing but saltines.

We should not, we should not get Wendy's spicy nuggets at 11 p. Hey, that's personal. Please do not bring our home life onto the show. Bill Hancock, Bill Hancock just falls out of the closet and it's like, I think it's possible to have spicy nuggets at 11 p.m.

You came home high from church last night. We've discussed it. We think frosties are good for your teeth. I think, never frosties. Bill Hancock is the version of your judgmental self-voice, but he is affirming. The choice you have.

just made was the right one. We all need a Bill Hancock inside our heads. Like, right? Like we all go around like, oh, I said that thing 10% weird. I'm, I hate myself. I'm going to jump in a volcano. Bill Hancock in your head says, no, actually, you said it just right. Dog is an evocative name for a dog. We would never drop a little acid before a baptism. I'm never going to lose $100 at Blackjack. I just lost $500. But the Bill Hancock in your voice says, it was fine, wasn't it? It was fun. You know what? We might expand this loss to $1,000 at Blackjack. We will not expand this loss to $1,000. And then you do.

And then the committee is exploring losing $2,000 at Blackjack. That was 10 times as fun as losing $100, wasn't it? It was. The important thing is the student athlete experience at Blackjack. Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. If you want another one, I don't know. You're going to have to just go to New York,

find one of them people with money, you know, with the cash and ask for them to make another one because this is the only one you got for free. Sorry about that, but not sorry. It has been a huge week for the most important city in all of college football. And by that I mean New York City.

Ryan, what was the big news, baby? What we got? God, where do you want to start? There are three things we have on our list here. The first, and I think arguably the most confusing maybe the one with the most yeah the most full castiest hi i'm spencer hall so so new york is gearing up for a mayoral election and a before that primaries democratic primary will most likely be who ends up winning the election um Andrew yang has been leading the polls for a long

time but he just got leapfrogged by eric adams who i believe is the brooklyn borough president former police captain etc etc but he shares another distinction ryan what's that he is possibly even more of a weirdo than andrew yang yeah and worse at trying to be a people than andrew yang so i'll i'll do the setup and then holly you can you can take it off from there please are you going to talk about the button downs well no i'm just got to do the initial setup which is okay okay which is that a some reporter i don't remember the person or the outland i apologize went by eric adams brooklyn address and noticed that the mailbox was like overflowing with mail and there was packages that hadn't been picked up and was like that's kind of weird for the brooklyn

borough president to like not be getting his mail um and that's kicked off this whole question about like hey wait a second does this guy even live in brooklyn and uh he this eric adams decided there was one way to prove this to settle this question because he also owns property in new jersey where people were starting to say maybe he lives there maybe the man running for mayor of new york doesn't live in new york which maybe i don't know can we run not like is that a thing We're going to get to that because I think the answer is yes. So he decided to do the very normal thing you want it you do when you want to prove you live somewhere. He invited a shitload of reporters into his Brooklyn building, his apartment.

Ollie, please take it from there. What happened next? Actually, it did surprise me. And I'm going to set a little bit more of the scene by saying, when I say that this guy might be as much of a weirdo as Andrew Yang, I'm speaking as a person who was also a robot who is learning in her 30s, I don't know how all of these guys are, to be people. You know, I'm learning how to feel and express human emotions. And Andrew Yang on the strategist earlier this week took part in the What I Can't Live Without feature, which is where people just talk about, you know, hey, here's the toothbrush that I really like. and they interviewed all the New York mayoral candidates.

And Andrew Yang's was a light blue button down. And in this sentence, which was presumably vetted by a number of press people, Andrew Yang said, as someone who has been running for office for much of the past several years, having a lot of identical shirts is very handy. And which, first of all, he said that as though, like, that's a good thing, as though that's a relatable thing. But then putting on one of these shirts, I sort of feel like Batman.

I got to hand it to him because Batman, Bruce Wayne probably would wear a series of identical blue button downs just to have, you know, just to cut down on the decision-making process. Yes, doing every day. But anyway, it takes a lot, is all I'm saying, to leapfrog Andrew Yang in the, are you an Android? Are we in an I-Robot situation here? But when Eric Adams invited media into his alleged New York City home, and here I am reading off of Raff's Twitter feed, this is Rafael Shimonov, Twitter friend of mine, does the Jesus Loves Linda and Raff podcast. And first he shows this perfectly normal bed that wasn't just moved into the normal middle of this room. There is a bedroom in Eric Adams' house. first we have a bed that is not only in the middle of the room but it is facing away from as in behind the headboard is a set of open French doors this makes me want to grab a gun like the thought of sleeping with my head facing an open door I don't know if I lived around preppers for too long but it gives me anxiety just looking at it there is also an empty bookcase just standing in one corner

And a series of sneakers lined up against one wall, which reporter says are not his size. I would say that if you've ever looked at a nightmare Airbnb, this is the vibe that his entire place puts off. Is Airbnb organized by someone who has never actually lived anywhere? So second photo. And to be clear, the vibe we're chasing here is that the campaign realized that he was being accused of not living in New York and has gone to to great trouble, at least to make it appear as though he lives in New York. But the problem is all of them appear to be bad at that. And that makes me a little angry because New York is a city overflowing with theatrical and film and television production people, many of whom have been out

of work for the past year and a half. You could have hired some set dressers, my man. You can't swing like a dead rat around New York without hitting a set dresser. So let's move on to the living room where there is a lonely, corner-only piece of a sectional perched so close to the fireplace that I'm not even sure if you could walk between it. This one's baffling. Two overflowing bookcases, which doesn't explain what the empty bookcase is doing in the bedroom. This sectional is positioned in such a way as if it were there because you wanted to burn your feet. Yeah, yeah.

Like if you, I'm not sure there is room to rest your feet on the floor between the couch. and the fireplace screen. No, they'd be resting on the hearth. There is in the background. Is there another couch up against another doorway? Yeah, it's another like, it's a little weird like corner chair. No, seriously. That like sticks out into a doorway.

This looks like my house and animal crossing, which is really shitty because I never organized it or decorated. I just keep throwing things into it. Someone gives me a, someone gives me a terradactyl skeleton and I just throw it in the corner. and then somebody gives me a colorful couch and I just throw it up against the fireplace. That's exactly what this looks like.

Like it's all of the, if you were checking these things off a list, it's like here's the thing that makes this uncanny valley. Like all of these look like perfectly normal furniture items that any human being of New York or really any other city might own. But it's like they check them off the list and was like, okay, boss says he needs a couch. There's a couch.

Technically that's right. My sim needs a toilet. It goes in the middle of the kitchen. You know, like, oh, we need some art. There is a piece, a picture of three vases that is hung directly flush with the ceiling. Here is the oven. It's in the driveway. Cook.

I am most interested in the books on the bookshelf. Like this looks like a collection of books that you made one pass through the youth bookstore. I see The Secret. I see a 2007 guidebook to Ireland. I got to imagine that's at least somewhat out of date. Like there are at least some borders to certain countries in the airport. area that have changed recently. Brexit 11. Yeah.

There's a Yankees bobblehead next to a Buddhist statue on the fireplace. I had a question about this. It's a little grainy, at least as close as I can enhance. Enhance. Are we certain that's a Yankees player? No. I was just going off the hat. Well, the hat from here, I would not object if someone said that is a Tampa Bay Devil

Rays hat. Are they still the Devil Rays or they just the Rays? Devil, devil, devil, devil. We have to say it three times. And I think they wear like light blue now. It could also be a Detroit Tigers hat. Could it be that scripty? It could be that Mariner's hat for all.

Like the hat that Magnum P.I. wears, which, you know, I might expect him to find. It also appears on the other side. There is, it's possibly there's a golf for dummies. I cannot fully confirm that. But we are picking, many people are taking a close look at this. yeah the uh also next to the secret is some sort of book about dr dr dr dr this is killing me because like they had the they had the presence of mind to go to the used bookstore so that these look like books that a person has owned and not like you just raided

barns and noble but then everything else went like whoever they sent to the bookstore is the only person who understood the assignment and everybody else on this team fucked up i think this is absolute disrespect to the culture of new york by even having a book about dr dray on the shelf because that's West Coast. Is it the West Coast of New York? I don't know New York geography. Spencer, it's about collecting information about your enemies.

New York has a West Coast, though. It borders the Hudson River, right? It's where New Jersey is where he's alleged to. Oh, shit. We're sorry! I did not know that. I will offer one small point before we move on that may prove that this is in fact

his normal apartment and he's just an incredibly weird dude This is from a piece of the ceiling held together with scotch tape No, that is a good one This is from Katie Honan at the Wall Street Journal They did like a rapid fire thing Maybe this was in a debate

I'm not sure it's in a very long thread But of relevant here's the relevant part of it They asked all the mayoral candidates What's one thing you can't live without Andrew Yang said his wife Maya Wiley said her cats and kids Scott Stringer who said cats first interesting Scott Stringer who's also like

a total weirdo piece of shit said coffee with sweet and low kept in wallet we'll put that to the side because we don't want to deal with him this was Eric Adams answer Eric Adams has a longtime partner and a son who I believe maybe the person

who's living in the apartment not important the one thing Eric Adams can't live with that hot bubble bath with warm roses inside hot bubble bath with sweet and low in wallet in the middle of my room where i have put my bathtub i the thing i want to go back to is in fact sweet and low in wallet as a matter of fact is is what is in wallet where where are we drawing the parentheses if we're if we're parsing this sentence for the whole thing of the wallet yeah and then and then you know it's sort of uh it's it's it's like the the hopeful high school

senior with the condom in the wallet like aha good thing i had this sweet and low a coffee has emerged that needs to be sweetened and lowered and I am the one who's prepared to do it. All of you with your sour high coffee I don't know, I don't I can't picture the wallet that would contain it. So here's the good news.

Like a pocketbook flask? Sorry, please continue, Ryan. All of these weird morons have an incredibly good chance of at least meeting the standard that their predecessor has left behind. that would be Bill de Blasio who oh what did he do Bill de Blasio A is still mayor B ran for president it like not in any memorable way but it's a thing that he did also like Andrew Yang yeah for like two weeks right right right he yeah he oh boy anyway yeah sorry he wasn't Bloomberg so like they have multiple guys correct okay it was sorry my mic was above my head

it was the less interesting New York mayor And also Rudy Giuliani was involved in New York in the presidential race. Folks, you know how we feel about the up there's on this show, even when Ryan lived there for a time. It takes a lot for us to plug into a local political race for a state we do not live in. Yeah, y'all screwed up. If we're paying attention, you'll screwed up bad. Also, I mean, they made a lot of jokes about Georgia politics and shit. So they sure did.

They sure did. Take your fucking medicine. Soft-nosed. Bill de Blasio, who's still mayor. of a city that has like a subway system that's teetering on the brink of collapse and has a bunch whatever decided to go to do like a media event i'm not even sure what it was to uh to explain ranked choice voting because i forgot this is going to get dumber right so so one of the things about i don't know if it's about the primary or the mayor i think it's about the primary is that

they're doing rank choice voting so you don't just go into a vote and say like this is my choice you put like, here are my top three, my top four, whatever. Bill de Blasio decided to illustrate how this concept works with a big, like, cardboard project sign of best New York City pizza topping. The choices he had were olives, pineapple, which got crossed out, and apparently he went on a rant about how it didn't belong in his city, vegan cheese, clams, sausage, mushrooms, green peppers, and pepperoni. his first choice is green peppers his second choice was olives but here is the here is the big problem i'm so glad you stopped here because i was concerned he said he meant green olives

these are the people that have been that have been given the responsibility of running one of the biggest and most important cities in the world where finance happens where art happens spencer's face from the end server's face from the moment you said green olives. Spencer is actually dumbstruck with his mouth hanging open and Serber just put his head down on the desk in quiet despair. What this means is that if you invited Bill de Blasio to your office pizza lunch and said Bill, pick up, pick two toppings for a pizza, he would say, green peppers and green olives, please.

Because I'm fucking insane. If I'm not mistaken, the lowest ranked topic on this was pepperoni. Oh no, no, no. Well, pepperoni got a vote. The two that didn't get a vote were vegan cheese and clams. And pineapple somehow received some sort of negative vote. Yes. The pineapple was disqualified.

Yeah. Frankly, as a pineapple on pizza defender, I find this more objectionable than anything about whichever variety of green plant he's putting on there. I just want to say this. How does a man who is allegedly from this city and is the mayor of it have less of an understanding of how to properly pander to his own citizens than I do? because I know this is another problem of having

this is yet another instance of either bad staff work or staff work that even with all of its combined power cannot overcome this dumb attitude because you know how I bet all of us could look at one two three

and then we'll all say what we love about New York pizza right okay let's name our New York pizza topping all right clams flatness shot damn it but all you have to do to pander to the up there

and say oh it's a it's a plain cheese slice from pick a fucking shop for me boys right make one up yeah like that's that's the thing he did not have to have a he made it worse because people are now more confused about rank choice voting than before i'm not sure we could rank five of anything uh fairly which also explains a lot of the polling in the sport but like you didn't nobody made you go into this pizza thing like you did the hard part on purpose and you didn't even have to do it it wasn't even a required question and you deliberately went into this thing that you are not grounded in and just came out looking like a madman yeah yeah he came out looking like an actual crazy person i would just

go and pander by saying i would go straight to queens straight to queens and straight to staten island do you think he knows how to get there no has no idea remember he's driven like 15 miles a day to go to a gym that's basically like not even all that i know the jim he's talking about it's like it's like a super basic It's like a super basic. It's a YMCA. It's a YMCA that you could go to within a mile of where he works. And he's still driven there every day to go to like a basic spot where, you know, you're like, man, Bill, what, do you need an elliptical in a squat cage?

Yep. That's all you need. You're not. This recumbent bike fits my ass just perfect. Now I work out at the Y. You work out at the Y. This is not about the Y being weird. You can be mayors of New York.

I mean, I've seen We certainly seem more qualified. I've seen the work on display, Bill, frankly. That doesn't require a special gym. You could probably do that with calisthenics and a nice walk around the block, okay? It ain't worth the 15 mile commute. One more thing about this, though, too,

which is, why wouldn't you just do something simple? Why would you be like, hey, you know what my favorite pizza topping is? A beautiful woman, right? Am I right? My Queens is like, yeah. Stern, Howard! Did he say a canoli? Citation.

you know my favorite pizza topping is a gun yeah okay that's a different state mayor of atlanta yeah i'm mayor of new york texas uh this reminds me heard cassim's running again yeah and and he did it with a uh fucking pro wrestler heel promo he said tell chicago tell miami tell charlotte i'm back so okay this will be uh entertaining so uh this new york mayor person the non-bloomberg i forget his name are who is this bill de blozio okay good uh the only other thing i really i know everyone hates him i gather that like like uh he's a uniter yeah yeah yeah i've gathered everyone on all sides of the aisle hates him and that's how he remains an office or whatever um but the only other time i've ever actually seen him was during the hawks nix series when he

advised tray young to stop hunting fowls i just can't help but note hawks in five so i mean i don't know why i'm taking the sky's advice on anything it's just yeah all right so so that's like a little a little look at the new york mayoral race it is not the most new york thing that happened this week not the most the most new york thing that happened this week also happened ryan we have potential real estate fraud and pizza fights what's more new york than that um oh and the nicks fucking up what could top that on on monday we're recording on friday we don't usually do that on monday june 7th a bus crashed into a Brooklyn row house. I'm going to put the picture of it in here so you can,

you're wondering maybe like, what does that mean? And that's what it means. If you've looked at the picture, this now, now the thing about this, the driver says he got his foot stuck between the break and the accelerator. Not totally sure on that,

but whatever. He hit like four part cars. hit this building. Several people were injured, but none with life threatening injuries. And the building has had to be evacuated. As of yesterday, the bus is still there and has scaffolding around it now because they can't just, it's a bit absorbed. Yes, the bus is, there is somebody who lives in a building in Brooklyn and is paying probably, let's say, $3,200 in rent. What I think, 900, 900 square feet? $750. For an apartment that they can't live in because a bus is inside. to fit and will be for the foreseeable future.

Oh, no, no, no. The bus is the, the apartment is now like tripled in size. I was going to say, close to public transit. What do we? Second bedroom? We call that the second bedroom. That's a long bedroom. That's a whole fucking hallway. Covered, covered porch. Mini windows. Yeah. Eat in kitchen.

Solarium. It's an extra, it's an extra 400 feet of solarium. So I'm in the house parking, ample parking. I'm thinking, oh my God, sidewalk parking. we just went up to 4,200 with rent. That's right. I'm seeing a gun range.

Yeah. Archery range at least. It's an axon bar is what it is. A spear throwing, spear throwing range. A falcon hutch, yeah. Is that what they live in? I think so. Looking at this, I'm not believing the foot got stuck thing unless that person is

eating a lot of green pepper pizza and just, you know, they're, they've got some sort of sodium overload. I'm seeing trying to recreate the opening scene of every heist movie is what I'm seeing here. oh he put his foot in it all right like there's something extremely valuable in there probably like a 2007 guidebook to ireland or a golf for dummies that this person is trying to steal they thought the bus would make it back out but that only that only works in the pictures this is where this is where the mayoral candidate should have said he lived I feel like Hillary let me take you to my house I live in a fucking bus I live in a bus what's more New York than that New York City all you had to do was get an intern to pick up your mail yeah like none of this this is all like this is all bad but also the degree to which none of it had to happen okay so the great writer kaleb horton once did a hypothetical screenplay about how much how much captain sullenberger's lifelong dream was to land a plane on the water in in like new york that was his whole dream it's not so much

a sequel to sully as like a harmony korean spring breakers yeah like sully story sully is like monosyllabic like must land plane on river must must do this what if this man's entire dream was to crash a bus into a modest Brooklyn row house that seems that seems easy yeah no he made it happen easy to pull off and he did it look it's got Wi-Fi it says right on the side of the bus got Wi-Fi now this whole building has Wi-Fi I forgot the I forgot the wonderful text of this which was sully's mom you could do anything sully those boys were wrong you could follow your dreams no I can't My dreams are stupid. None of my boy's dreams are stupid.

This one is, it's real stupid. What is it? What's your dream? I want to crash an airplane in the Hudson River. Huh. With people in it? Yes, Mom, with people in it. Tons of people.

What kind of plane? I don't know, a huge plane. Tons of people at a huge plane. Melancholic piano plays, fade to black. That's what this man was. Followed Caleb Porton. And Eric Adams could have seen all of this happen from his New Jersey apartment building. Thank God I don't live over there.

What a dump. In conclusion, they got buses. Here in New Jersey, we just have like camels and stuff. In conclusion, New Jersey and New York is the dumbest city in the world and nobody should live there, in part because it's very expensive. And you have better things you can do with your money. Jason, you have any thoughts on what you could do with your money that's better than living in New York? I do, but first. Also, I like the second photo you dropped in of there.

Apparently there's some sort of plywood garrison built around that. the bus. Probably to prevent anyone, anyone from, I don't know, stealing the bus. But it's like those little restaurant things that's top up in the winter. It has little like peephole look holes so people can look at the bus. Or is there someone like charging people money? Like there's a guy in a backpack staring through. Yeah.

And then the bus shows you its ass. Okay. Ah, that is the part that is blocked. Hey, you want to look at a bus, buddy? You want to see the whole bus? Oh my God. Look at that size of that. Tree dollars.

Oh, my God. It's so. fucking square. I'm upset. Anyone who cares about New York accents, you can just bring in your opinions on how those went. I don't care.

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a tree grows in a bus Then a bus grows in Brooklyn Look on the bright side It better grow Because it sure ain't going If they leave the bus long enough Could a tree like grow up And push the bus up into the sky?

Of course. Nature will abide. Oh, look how fast the state bird of New York sideways scaffolding has already come and roosted in this apartment building What's the thing about like 10 years after we're gone

or whatever all the pumps that keep New York from being underwater they'll all be the bus will be a boat in no time fuck so I think I think you mean a stilt house a stilt house over the sea in beautiful scenic on wheels for just $7,500 a month

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full cast for 20% off your first purchase at home field apparel. Dress like us it's the only way to be safe from the rest of the LSU fans. They'll eat you last is all I'm saying. You know where the only place ranked choice voting would be worse than an election

than actually determines the outcome of people's lives? College football playoff. Yeah. Who! Spencer, because I haven't had enough dumb shit around the college football playoff. Why is that a topic, y'all? I actually think, well, look, I have barely paid attention to this. And I think that's true of Holly as well.

Oh, I told you what happened. Spencer came running through the front door in my house like the little kid and inherit the wind and was like, we're going to 12 teams. And I said, what the fuck are you talking about? All right. So Jason and Spencer, whichever one of you feels best prepared to explain what is happening with the college football playoff, please go ahead. Well, we're going to 12 teams. So it was four. And everyone assumed we would go to six or eight next, but we're jumping directly to 12. What a magical number, because there happened to be six bowls that have sufficiently paid off the people in charge. Oh, you could put two teams per bowl.

That's crazy. That comes out to 12. How lucky. Yeah, I can't believe that it turned out this way. Also, there are between 10 and 12 conferences in FBS each year, even though only three of them matter. that was generous of me to include the Big Ten in those three but let's say three so yeah we're going to 12 teams and no one really knows exactly when this is going to happen this is some subgroup subcommittee that is presented a proposal to a different subgroup

the Autonomous Five yeah yeah I love that they have used that term from NCAA legislation like that was around the time of Oban and they came up with that from NCA legislation in like 2013 yeah it was a nicer way to say power five like it was a nicer at the time i believe it was a nicer way to say bcs aq conferences this is when people were getting mad about mid major this was right around the time that all that happened but i i have not heard that term in like seven years autonomy five yeah i still like mid major i don't see the problem with it frankly um i mean it's what you call yourselves in basketball like okay except for the aAC call yourself power six that's fine but uh yeah the um i love the uh extreme

legalese of the news which is not like you know if you do this in any other sport you get the big branding splash and like it sounds like we're fucking doing this doesn't that rule but here in college sports everything has to go through 18 different subcommittees and I love that things that aren't the NCAA act like the NCAA like this is how the NCAA talks like a subcommittee will present a plan to this or that and then you hear two years later oh yeah we have decided not to do that and all that shit but uh you don't have to talk like the NCAA you're not the and say, hey, be the cool, you know, be the cool dad. Just give us the bigger playoff if that's what people want.

You already got the giant golden vape pin. And the only person who has to look stupid is Bill Hancock. And he's well compensated. Yeah, he's paid to look stupid. That's his job. That's been his job since. That's been his job since saying there will never be. I just love that they drag out the same guy to tell a new lie every time.

Once again, there will never be a college football playoff. There will never be an expanded playoff. There will never be a 12 team playoff. No, four is the right number. I'm sure we can find 100 examples of Bill Hancock saying, and I always trip up because I'm always about to say Bill Hanstock. But no, no, it's not Bill. It's not on him.

It's not on him. I think the last time this happened, I called him Bill Hanstock on this very show, and I'm still sorry about that because nobody deserves to be Bill Hancock unless they want to be super, super fucking rich. This is also your reminder that Bill Hancock. I see they trotted out when they named it the college football playoff. And this is your regularly scheduled reminder that Bill Hancock,

dog is named dog I am amazed at how long it took us to get back to complete bullshit it took us two seconds to get back to bullshit remember when did we leave bullshit well right so I have to look up when the last time Bill Hancock said there will never be a college football playoff because there's so many of them so

pandemic got us the complete like the myth of scheduling that anything in this sport can't happen next week is a total lie because last year games happened in a week On an unrelated note, Boston College and Alabama have just scheduled to play each other in 2034. Yeah. That's not a joke.

I'm not making that up. I'm sorry y'all aren't as adept at cross-country, you know, at cross-country travel as coastal Carolina and BYU. Sorry the rest of the country can't keep up with the infrastructure and logistics of those two programs. To be fair, BYU is used to scooting across the country real fast. Yeah. They've had experience running wagon trains. getting a football team from point A to point B, nothing culturally to BYU.

But this is how fast we went back to bullshit, right? Because last year it was, we have to make a bunch of adjustments immediately. Scheduling can be changed on a dime. We can change, we can turn, things can happen quickly. And then what do you get? You get a white paper spoken in this bizarre bureaucrat speak of

sometime in the future. We will go to a 12th. team playoff this is a recommendation like this is like some sort of papal bull that's how fast we went back to bullshit it took two seconds i don't think that's what papal bull means but i like where your head's at it is people bullshit yeah we went i found the quote by the way and it turns out he was true uh this is december 10th 2014 from our friend travis hayney cfp's bill hancock on expansion there is no talk about eight at all in our group Huh? That's the realest shit he's ever said.

That's amazing. And you hear that and you think, oh, six. Nice try. It says more than four would erode regular season. Like the regular season is some sort of basalt formation. Did he? So in December, he said more than four would erode the regular season? December 2014, yes.

That's fantastic because in the white paper presented. That's even before the play in. Yeah, in the white paper presented, they say 12 will enhance the regular season. Ah, fantastic. But that's the beauty of the playoff. Does whatever you say it's going to do. It doesn't matter. The best part is that we're still going to get Alabama and Clemson out of this.

It's just going to be just a more tired and angrier Alabama and Clemson. I think the best part personally is that like three years ago, we would have all been stressing out blogging about every time Bill Hancock has a, said something about this and now we can just laugh and call him the squirrel there was a few years ago roger sherman did a post at uh i think it was at espionage uh about like oh yeah i remember this i edited this was this way it was basically going back and try a timeline of bill hancock that's exactly every single thing he's ever he's ever said that he's immediately like you know three four five years later said the total opposite it was roger if you're listening to uh find a way back in and let's update that post buddy yeah if you yeah maybe there's a sports website

somewhere um so what i would like to propose is that well there's going to be a lot of discussion about is 12 too many should it be a was for the right number blah blah blah blah blah but here's the thing that discussion doesn't matter because they're going to do what they want sure and i think what we are better suited as a group to do is not to decide what the best playoff format is. But to come up with the worst possible playoff format, I think that's better for us and more like that plays to our strengths. And if y'all are okay, I'd like to submit my idea first. Oh, please. Set that bar real low. So this is my idea for the worst college football playoff format. Three teams, one less than we have right now. And they play a double elimination

tournament. Here are all the things that are terrible about this idea. One, It's less access than there is now, including the fact that at a minimum two power five conferences won't be getting in every year. There is the very funny possibility that like two SEC teams and one ACC team get in and you have a three team tournament with two teams from one conference. Number two, it's a complete TV nightmare because you don't know how many games you're going to need to play because it's double elimination. You could have, you know, undefeated this team playing one loss this team. and if the undefeated team wins, well, I guess that was the national championship. And if they don't, well, I guess they'll have to play a second game in this series. Number three, that brings up maybe the worst part about this.

It's a format that requires repeats. Everybody fucking hates repeats in national championships and in the playoffs. We try to avoid them. We talk about how they're bad for the sport. This is a setup where you have to repeat these games. Number four, you're going to get a ton of fighting about everything. because the way this would work, you take your three playoff teams, two and three play each other. The loser goes and plays number one.

So it is now very valuable to be the one seed because you get an extra week off. You get to scout both teams that you're going to have to play either way. And you don't have to risk like getting tagged with a loss early and being behind in the count. There's still also going to be plenty of fighting about who's number three because they're going to be four and five and six are all going to say, well, we should, we should be there and not in there. And guess what? There's no room for you anymore. And most importantly, with there, there are going to be some years in the three-team double elimination playoff where one team goes undefeated.

They beat the other teams as however many teams they need to. And we're very clear about who the national champion is. But in most years, it's going to go back and forth. Like the eventual national champion will suffer one loss, but only one, to one of the other teams in this rotation and that will immediately suck all the legitimacy out of the thing because we're going to say oh and their clumson beats alabama and you're like but last week albama beat clumson what the fuck is this stupid three-team playoff that everyone hates and nobody loves and that's my idea for the worst college football playoffs for that i personally just want to see more alabama clemson

so i love it yeah brother bring it on i um unironically think this is good so uh i'm sorry i'm sorry i think this is good. And here is my main reason. If the point of a playoff is to, so there's a lot of ideas about what a playoff could be. Is it a TV event? Is it for maximum TV inventory, maximum entertainment, maximum student athlete opportunity? Is it, is it to give everyone an FBS a fair and equitable chance to a championship? Well, our student athletes get to go on cultural trips to Tampa. Yeah, they mean, brother, they get to go to Arlington and they get like a bowling ball or whatever um so the other viewpoint is that like four was a really good number because that is the number of realistic championship uh teams championship grade teams you're going to have as an upper limit

in the average season um a while back using sp plus found that the average season is going to have somewhere between one and three maybe four teams that grade is like 98 percent which means just really, really, really fucking good in SP Plus per a year. So like if you're saying the cap is there's some years where we don't need three. 2011, LSU was the national champion. Alabama won a bullshit exhibition after LSU had won the championship. Again, enter my mentions. I love reading them. 2019, LSU didn't need a fucking playoff. That was already the national champion. There you go, LSU. It's a home field week on LSU. So like there are plenty of years. We don't we don't need to playoff at all. So if we're cutting it down, I'm all for it. Let's keep going. Let's have two teams

play 10 times. One and a half teams. One and a half teams. And the half is Auburn. All right. Every year, LSU gets the other half. Oh, in the offering play. Sorry about it. Are you just playing? Yeah. Are you just playing Red Rover with Auburn's roster here? Can we just like exchange players? Like, okay, listen, you got to send 10 people over. We get to pick another. You know, they did say there was going to be chaos with the transfer portal. Let's lean in, baby. live transfer portal mid game bring them over if anybody's going to get half a team shouldn't it be clemson just for the dabbo sound bites little old clemson yeah i mean we cut them off at the knees now they're little old clemson up and down ways yeah give them 40 players need to fat and lengthwise

don't you know hey jesus only needed 12 to win as it turns out 40s more than we need how many pieces of silver you need though dabbo so ryan i think your idea is unfortunately good you might have accidentally made an excellent playoff i would point out god i hate being the pack 12 commissioner i think with the 12 team playoffs somebody did point out this hilarious possibility that yes in a three team playoff like ryan's posing the possibility of clemson and alabama playing three times as funny it's not as funny

is one possibility somebody pointed out to me with the 12 team playoff, and it's this, that in certain years, if the schedule falls right, Georgia could lose to Alabama three times in a year. They're saying with a three team, it could be up to five. This is real. This gets into my playoff plan, and I'll explain why in just a minute.

That fifth loss, you can't beat us five times in a row. Congratulations. It's Georgia Bulldogs who went 10 in four. five with five lost. Fool me four times. Shame on me. Fifth loss, man. Oh, God.

That's the one that really doesn't. You lost more than an entire, like, world series worth of games. I'll admit they may be on to something here. I'm again to think, old Nick's got Kirby's number and the number is five. Just that fifth game is just Nick beating Kirby's senseless with a pipe and half field.

they've given up a game entirely it's just murder i wonder if so if george and bama playing the regular season they're both like just giving away 10% of the playbook because they're like we're gonna have to do this shit you and me i think we're going to be doing this a dance a long time we're gonna save our good stuff for the fourth game they're just both punting the whole first game they're both commissioner they're both commissioner gordon there's no joker yeah 37 year old jock's playing quarterback for georgia oh uh spencer what is your best playoff format. Well, I have a bad playoff format because it's pretty much like how we run everything else in this country, which is based off of what your forebears, your ancestors did and what you inherited

and you did nothing to earn. So what I thought we should do is we should have a 12 team playoff, but it should only go to the 12 teams who have the most wins historically. That's it. So really, it doesn't matter how many games you actually won that season because that's not how we do things in America, right? This isn't a meritocracy. No, but it's still going to keep Georgia out of it, so I'm for it. Yes, that's the other thing. Not that Georgia needs my help getting out of the playoff. Damn, they're sliding in at 13th, aren't they?

God damn. Yes, they are. The very, now, if you watch, by the way, this actually does feel. Oh, shit. This means Tennessee has to play. So if we had 12 teams, wait, do we based on the current? There's two ways we can play this. And I'll throw it to the crowd, okay? Do the one that does. doesn't put Tennessee in the playoff. I don't need more game.

It gets worse than just having to participate. It does. So right now, if we just did a straight top 12, and we put the top 12 teams all time, remember again, on, on winning percentage or total wins? I'm going to go. It's funny. You're looking at the list. Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going to go off of, I'm going to go off of winning percentage. Funnier means different things to different people. We'll go off, we'll go off winning. Listeners to this podcast definitely know that. First of all, Ohio state as number one. Ohio state's going to get in on winning. Oh, are they, are they winning her than Michigan? I didn't really hear them talk about that. It is, it is wild. What list are you looking at? I don't have them as number one. Wikipedia. That's where all the facts live. I have Winsopedia and Winsopedia

says Boise State is number one. So I, let's see, are they factoring for NCAA adjusted graph? Right. I don't know. Because the wiki does. I don't think Winsipedia does. Winsipedia doesn't, I don't think no okay so now we have four ways to do this so we can do this um see how college football this is if we just went yeah exactly so if we just went on the 12 teams that are going to make it with winning percentage as it currently stands the top five actually sounds a lot like maybe an older ranking but not too far off Ohio state Alabama Notre Dame michigan but it checks out it is an older code but it checks out right say about 15 years older but yeah this is your dad this is your dad this is your dad's top five that if you just said, Hey, dad, what are the top five if you had to pull out?

You know, dad would just be like, oh, you're okay, you know, Michigan's up there, right? They're still good. Yes, dad. I went to Tennessee, not Kentucky. Michigan's definitely still good. So that's the top five. It's totally different. It gets a little trickier because there are programs that are not FBS listed in the top 12.

I think that's great. Now where are you looking? Because I'm looking at Wiki. yeah yeah yeah this is by winning percentage and and there are programs like st johns of minnesota are you looking at basketball would be six no this is he's not on the division one page i don't think no i'm on i'm on i'm on NCAA football teams by wins okay you know you can just do the division you could just look at fb no i could but i'm doing it this way because okay yeah this is based on inheritance there are people who are sitting on money and achievements here in industries that are dead

that no longer live here. The Vanderbilt still have money. But every tab you have open has Yale on it, which means something has gone drastically. The Vanderbilts have money, but they do not have very many wins. Right. But they're not running railroads in upstate New York anymore.

Okay, the Erie Canal is not real important to their daily lives. Is that code for something? No, it should be. It's unfortunately really literal. Like, they're not in that business anymore. So that's why I'm using the all time. Okay. So St. John's would be sixth,

which I'm fine with because they're there they got the winning percentage Texas would be seventh I like Texas being in there because can you think of a program that's costing more on past achievements and money than Texas

and not in that order by the way it's mostly money than achievements when you're talking about what Texas football has done eighth would be Southern California which the idea of Clay Hilton screwing up a birthright it's absolutely perfect ninth would be Yale

I think Yale would sell their slot Yale would just sell it for a hearty profit They donate it for the tax purposes Yeah they don't have the right off 10th would be Wisconsin Whitewater Which I don't know let's get some FCS in there That's fine

10th would be Linfield 11th would be Nebraska Where the fuck is Linfield That's a great question It's in Oregon Oh yeah and 12th would be Penn State

Spencer on the list you're looking at where is Oklahoma Oklahoma oh boy they're fifth no I'm sorry

they're six yeah I skipped them they're six okay okay because the one I'm looking at they were you just swapped St. John's out for Oklahoma

which is yeah sorry that was that was that was so Oklahoma's in there so actually it would cut off at Linfield and they'd miss Nebraska so if we did

FBS only just this is Spencer's ID Yeah, so you're in charge. I just want to propose this. If you just did FBS only. FBS only, your first round is Ohio State versus Florida State. I mean, that'd be pretty good in the average year from our lifetimes. There'd be some blowouts in there, but mostly in Ohio State's favor, at least recently. Your second round, or your 2 and 11 would be, well, who doesn't need more Alabama, Tennessee in their life?

Everyone loves that game. And we would love to see it again multiple times a year. So the good news, the good thing about that is, that would further deteriorate Tennessee's recruiting, I think. So then they'd just tumble right out of the playoff eventually, right? And then we'd eventually get Bama Georgia. It'd take them so long, though, on that win percent. Like, some of these programs have piled up so many bullshit wins.

We laid up too many treasures in heaven. Tennessee has a significant edge on Georgia here. This is going to take some years. Notre Dame Penn State, who cares? Boise State. Do I have this right? Boise State, Nebraska. That sounds like a fucking hoot.

who wouldn't love that uh michigan usc and i fucked this all up but no it's fine we're going to keep going yeah i like this better i roll with it u sc and i have subconsciously rearrange this because then we get oklahoma texas every year in the playoff and i don't know who i left out but someone this is very playoff you're like we we probably left somebody out but eh oh i i see i'm used to 16 being a bracket so like the numbers weren't adding up 12 is a really stupid number for a bracket yeah yeah but that's the one we have because now you are going to have the weird circumstance where everybody played in the first round and then question mark by in the second round. But we're not going to worry about that for these

purposes. Because if we're constantly getting an Alabama, Tennessee and Oklahoma, Texas playoff game, fine. Great. If there's one thing I think when I think about repeated meetings of Tennessee and Alabama, it is American meritocracy. And I've always thought, wouldn't this be better if the stakes were higher? That's what you're missing. That's what we need. Nick Saven has a reason. to need to beat Tennessee. Counterpoint, can you think of a funnier time for the streak to finally end? Yes.

No, maybe, no. So I like this idea because it really kind of puts the nail in the, well, the regular season will still matter. No, because like the numbers that you're talking about are so like maybe with the right season or the right couple of seasons, get a little bit of movement at the bottom or you'll get a little bit of movement above the seeds amongst the seeds my large this shit's already locked in like we already know who's going to be there it's like commercials after this with with those teams that have 900 plus wins they're never

not going to be in the playoff never no you're never they're going to have to lose for 70 years now now here's the interesting thing the one the one group of teams that has the possibility of significant quick upward mobility are the new teams like on winsopedia coastal carolina is 16th overall with a 639 winning percentage but that's only in like 216 games so if they have like three good seasons they could jump florida state and tennessee but you have to be a new team and i think what this will lead to is teams like i don't know like let's say Virginia Tech. Virginia Tech should disband and reorganize as a new football team so they can start zero zero zero. And then after one season, they can say, look, we went eight and four and that

means we're in the goddamn playoff now. You have to let us in. If Coastal were to have two 12 and seasons, not extremely far-fetched. Sure. Non-powers have had that kind of run before. Does that do it? They would leap FSU and Tennessee into the all-time play on track. Great. fucking great yeah that's i think that's the move is like new teams have to crack into this and there are the other the other part of this is if you go way to the other end of the list and you look at like who's never going to make the playoffs in a hundred years wake forest four 15 winning percentage oh wow they're never going to make the playoff but but like you can't even pretend i know that's it just just not it's not it's not

never happening. Oklahoma State 520. Oh, that's much funnier. Yeah. Cowboy keep riding. That horizon's not getting any closer. I'm trying to the best, so the best team on here that would effectively be dead in the playoffs forever is Oregon.

570 lifetime winning percentage behind Boston College, Minnesota, Louisiana Tech, and Pitt. Yeah. Nicky's amazing. Yeah. This is, by the way, where we start a trend of teams with lots of wins and no football program anymore. selling wins with selling wins as assets Chicago call me yeah yeah come on you see you'll hang on there let's bring back some some wartime academies for doing that some pre-flight yeah we're going to bring

back pre-flight we're going to bring back let's see here schools yeah it's yeah not just wiki we're going to go to sports reference all right oh shit dad's home this is also where Norman naval air station undefeated all time but a Randolph field undefeated all time. 12 and 0. The playoff field is set. Ohio State, you're now the three seed. Y'all, there's a problem here, though.

These teams would sell their wins to the programs that have the most money, and then it would only be teams with the most money in the college football playoff. Fuck, we can't have that. No. Actually, if you went by sports reference, your top 12 would cut off just before Ohio State. Ohio State would be the first team out. Ohio State bankrupts the state trying to buy wins. They're so close, though.

They're so close to Great Lakes Navy. Did you buy 70 Japanese soccer league wins off of somebody? Yes, yes, we did. The other thing teams will do is they will, like, go independent for a couple seasons and just be like, we played 14 D2 games. We just got to get this record up, guys. And Tennessee. On sports reference, George is below Liberty.

Well, that's a new experience. for all of them. Too bad, Georgia. Sounds like you weren't close enough to the Lord. Yeah, Spencer, this is a truly awful playoff format. Thank you for picking it. Yeah, it's terrible. It's how things are actually run. That's what makes it really terrifying.

I like the honesty of it. I do like the honesty. It also feels very pro wrestling where like, who's in the title match? Randy fucking Orton. Because he's been there 300 times before. Especially, essentially what Spencer has done is started the credit card industry or like the financial loans industry, but for football, where it's like, how much money do you have already? That's how much money you can get. You have no money and need some. Fuck you. 18%

interest. I guess you should have been made smarter choices when you were one year old. Holly, what is your worst playoff format? I don't honestly feel like it's going to hold up to Spencer's, but I got three words for y'all that I know you're all aware of because you can see the show notes, but be with me here. Coach's poll playoffs. Now, in order for this to work, we, of course, the only reason this works is, and works is doing a lot of work in that sentence,

is we are removing the playoff rankings as they currently stand from the scenario, because as we have seen over the past few years since the inception of the college football playoff or CFP to those of us in the industry, that's a little bit of lingo for you there, home. The coach's poll tends to just go buck wild all season until the rankings show up. And then it's like, oh, and the SIDs go, oh, thank God. I don't have to figure out where to put UCLA.

Fine. I have something I could copy and paste. Right. And they just start hewing directly to the playoff rankings. Left to their own devices for a full year with stakes. I'm just going to give you like a short list of things that could ensue. Davo taking all of his extra money to band together with other teams to tank Ohio state's rankings in the coaches poll Steve Spurrier agitating with retired coaches to lean on their former schools to bump Duke up in the rankings out of spite and towards the coaches poll and of course here is the best possible version of the coaches poll playoff if we do as has been proposed before move the bowls to the preseason and make them all exhibitions then we can make

the preseason coaches pull the determiner of the college football playoff and y'all know what that means and this is where i was going to make a joke about georgia finally making it to the playoffs on a regular basis but we've been really mean to them so i'm just going to say it we're going to see a lot of texas football y'all I have one version of this I would like to float by you please please so we get to we get to the end of the year and all the coaches submit their final ballot coaches which is okay but it is it is the funniest bout this is imaginary so let's talk about the coaches being the ones in the coaches poll but that's the shit where you will get like

the number six team overall like this coach had them number 20 and he had his own team which was unranked number 11 or some shit like that so what i would propose is we we collect all the coaches ballots coaches and air quotes and we on national television we get a big spinning bingo style lottery style drum and we pull one out and we don't look at the aggregate we just say okay here is um gary patterson's ballot and that is the playoff whatever gary patterson put at his top 12 teams no matter how much sense it makes or doesn't, no matter how spiteful it is, that's the playoff that year.

We all just go with it. Because all we care about, really, our TV rankings, this will do them. And if we're going to hold these fellows up as leaders of men, by God,

we ought to be comfortable putting our collective fate in their hands. That's right. That's right. I feel like GP's top four every year would be like, the four big 12 teams that gave up the fewest passing yards,

because it's hard. They don't know what it's like. They don't know my problems. It's hard being Iowa State and defending Oklahoma. This would encourage the coaches also to, like, be their full true selves on this ballot, which can only end in heartbreak for everyone else in clarity for us. Why does Dana Holgerson have Kelly Lynch from Roadhouse at three? He's playing a good sandwich in the first round?

What is the danger? This is the danger. you open Gary Patterson's actual ballot and it's like, wait a second, this is a World Wildlife Federation calendar with all the baby leopard circled. Sorry, Jason, what were you going to say? I don't see why not.

So I think what if instead of doing weekly rankings, there are no weekly rankings. You can have an AP, you can have statistics and whatever. The coach's poll total radio silence until, boom, after the regular season, it drops all at once. What the fuck, Oklahoma is.

number 37 there but you know and it just comes out well Lincoln Riley talk was talking shit so you know everybody really had no warning that was going to happen like the entire year teams think they're in good shape but like no nope unfortunately you know Mike Riley has a lot of friends and he doesn't like you I also went instead of them sending in ballots instead of them sending in ballots because we all know those are largely 90% bullshit um I I want all the coaches in one place and they got to talk it out. And so like where the smoke goes out, the color smoke that indicates we have selected four playoff popes. And then we bomb the city of Dallas where no, no, no, sorry.

God, so much bombing. But yeah, all the coaches, I want them there and they have to like, you know, barter and so forth with their rankings. The ballots are not secret. They have to fill them up on stage. Oh, I love this. I was going to say we have to pick one. coach every year to sit out so that he can he can be the commissioner next year in in the event that something happens a la state of the union and i was like oh week i wrote it and then i was like now

everybody is just going to want p jay to sit out yep so houston nut's going to keep volunteer i'll sit i'll be the designated survivor ever houston that's going to be the one trying to bomb this i'm trying to bomb this gathering i like jason's public debate idea because it quickly devolves into question time with the prime minister where somebody's like i think texas get out oh no get out you're not necessary man i have your job can i have your job i require no response from you young man jason's also gives me a very like world cup draw feel where i think we should take votes on rankings average those rankings out to ping pong balls where number one gets like a little bribery over the whole pot right put them in a big tumbler and then you're pulling it so i've got a much better or like a 25 to one chance that I'm going to pull like Alabama, right? But I might reach in there and pull out SMU at one, right? Like it can happen.

We should completely randomized rankings that way. God. I've pulled out the New York Knicks. And they lose the first round. Yeah, you wouldn't pull them. They did do that. I have heard that they are, that they're. They keep doing that.

You know, we could, you remember how we proposed a while back, NCAA lucha? I got two more words for you to add as. like an ABC free form component or maybe an ABC proper component while this airs on ESPN because again all we do care about is television. Fellas be with me here.

NCAA Eurovision. Oh, God, yes. If you're wondering who is Iceland in this scenario, it is Minnesota. By the way, they play Iowa because it'd be Hawks in five. Right? That's what the picture play.

It's good. That's a safety and a field goal. That's a really good football score. That's a great Iowa score. Jason, we've given our ideas for the dumb, bad playoff. What do you got? Make it worse. So the upcoming current one,

the one that has been revealed via a triple secret research pamphlet that will be voted on by the seven elders when the moon is a correct angle. It's a discoverable item in a fallout game. Once there have been enough online kills to unlock this. Once this DLC drops, the plan will be really cool in some ways. You know, the smaller teams have a realistic shot. You wanted a shot. Now you got a shot. Better not make all of us look dumb for all those years of saying you weren't getting a shot.

Now we could look really stupid if, you know, UCF gets blown out every year. Looking at you, Northern Illinois. It's all on you. It's all on you. got a long way to come back um you know they did drop this the day of a solar eclipse i'm just pointing this out um i like the uh i like the road home aspect of the first round where like if you rank number five you get a home game if you rank number four fuck you're going to glendale Arizona you know and like I like the five through eight being like the gosh big 10 now's your

time to shine by not shining because there's no sun wait a second does somebody have to play Santa Clara every fucking year I'm sure is Santa Clara one of the games or did we have they haven't gotten to that they haven't got quite that God okay there's there's still time for us to prevent this yeah we all know it's it'll be oh oh for the for the actual championship. I mean, it might be a while till they get another shot until Santa Clara gets another shot. So the 12th the 12th format is pretty dumb, but

it's pretty cool in some ways. I think the way to make it dumber would be, all right, let's, we're going to crunch the number way down. I think the smart idea would be to scrap the whole fucking thing and just say like, all right, we're going to do bowls and we're going to do a plus one. This is my hill to die on. This is

right it behind pay the players. This is my fixed college football take. But, the very dumbest thing would be kind of a middle ground we're going to have a bowl season and a small playoff um i think a just really stupid number would be like four um and then we're going to have like brackets you know we're going to have like a whole bracket for a thing that's two games and then another game happens um so to decide which teams go into these four spots we're going to have a list of 25 teams even though every team after like seven has been out of it for a month And we're going to, you know, we're going to update these each week, even though none of it matters until the very last ranking. And supposedly this could show like how close each team is to spot number four, but you're going to have teams that are like 10 and 0 parked at number 13 for a month. Can I ask a question real quick? Yeah, go ahead. As you go throughout the season week by week, is it going to be pretty consistent about who stays where?

Are you just going to kind of make it up every week on your own? Well, here's what we're going to do. We're going to have like 14 white guys. they're all going to fly across the country to a like hotel lobby in Dallas and they're all going to sit on folding chairs together and they're just going to they're going to talk about how they're watching all the games. And then Sunday, let's let's call it Tuesday. Sunday was BCS. Let's go away smarter. Tuesday night we're going to throw out rankings and we're going to have one of the boringest white guy. One of the boringest white guys on Earth. Such a nice guy. Such a nice guy. The alpha if you will. Yeah. The the the Zeta is that the last alpha vanilla. it's it's it's it's the opposite of alfadilla prime alpha yeah so this guy is going to get up there and they're going to say like wait wait a second why is this team sixth and this team that has beaten better teams and you know and has fewer losses is seven maybe beat number six yeah that can happen and he'll say you know well we watch all the games and he's just going to keep saying that um he'll say some other

weird shit every now and then he'll let off a real zinger like body clocks or you know, are all chest, not like that. And, and, yeah, we're just going to keep doing that. This list of 25 teams, it'll be very important. These numbers will go next to the names on your TV schedule so you know which teams are good. If your team doesn't have a number, it's very bad. If your team is number 25th, then it is Minnesota.

And, and this is going to be sort of, it's going to be sort of a bastardized version of when we had computers doing this, which in itself was a bastardized version of when we had newspapers doing this. What are people that bastardized computers? Jason, this is sounding familiar. I mean, keep going, but it's ringing a bell for some reason. I got nothing. No, keep going.

I don't have it yet. So I think what we want to do ultimately is we want to have, say, like, 14 or 15 games. And we're going to use that and act like that is, you know, this is a completely comprehensive collection of evidence from which we can determine which exactly four teams deserve to play in these two games on opposite size. of the earth and then the winners of those two games after a month layoff that i forgot to mention that we're not going to just like keep the season going we're going to take off a whole fucking holiday season and they're going to play a playoff when everyone has like starchy leg syndrome because

they're guys guys they're students first i think that's in the playoff committee's mine all these well yeah that's that's one thing they've addressed with the 12 team playoff is now these teenagers will keep playing football on television all the way through like five days before christmas in right now it's good for the student athlete and their bodies right are you saying it is awesome for these kids that they have to you know go through 13 games and then play wisconsin and then play alabama that is what's best for the student athlete did you it sounds like a lot of people look i i love you i support you i think you're the heart of the show as i've said many times it sounds like a lot of people put a lot of thought into this but this sounds really fucking stupid and not

in a funny way. I hope you're in a space where you can hear that from me, but I'm just not feeling this at all. Also, did you just make up a syndrome called mashed potato legs? No, I didn't make that up. Wisconsin made it up because they're number five every year,

and that's plays to their advantage. That's why Wisconsin is, I love the new format, by the way, it's 12 team format where Wisconsin hosts a playoff game every single year. Because their new goal is just, we're going to try and lose exactly one to two games every single year. We want to try to,

we want to leave your corpse in the snow, that's the goal. Our goal here is to host Miami every year in the playoffs. That's what we do. So at the end of the at the end of each decade, Wisconsin can put up a most playoff wins this decade, Alabama, Clemson, Wisconsin. That's their entire. Watch Miami pull off the ultimate unexpected move and lose four games and miss the playoffs entirely.

Like, no, we don't want any part of that shit. You're not going to Wisconsin. How can you kill me if I'm not even there, Mr. Wick? Oh, you. Then we have, Miami rolls in. they're ranked what would they be like 12th or something and they're playing pit and miami's like oh good pit'll get us out of having to go to fucking madison on December 19th and pit's like oh nice try you have you have sought the the pit weapon on purpose so it will not fire but uh yeah

i think a four team playoff would just be really stupid um because it's like are do we either want like a full thing that's like you know say 10 to 20 percent of the the whole thing gets a shot, you know, like every other sport does or do we want a thing where it's actually very college football where it's like we have bowls and then we yell about it. Maybe there's one more game. Maybe there's not. I just think a middle ground that way.