Shutdown Fullcast - 2022 PRESEASON PLAYOFF PICKS, LIVE FROM RYAN'S DUNGEON

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

NOTES Kicking off (football term) our playoff discussion by asking what (OR WHERE) Cincinnati is hiding Love anything like we love off-duty US Marines challenge Good news is we're already picking playoff teams, bad news is Ryan put the Saw puppet mask on again Capped by an accidental detour into football talk, sorry! Visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nobody brought up the specter of the funniest guest coach appearance. Tommy Tupperville? Tanned, rested and ready. No, no. We got Tommy Bowden. Go back to a Bowden. God, that'll be so fucking cool. Serber thinking about bitch mentality era, Tommy Bowden.

Yeah, I'm just like, I'm thinking of what lucky team gets to go seven and five every fucking year and then go nine and three to give him a contract extension. The great thing would be Tommy Bowden getting that job for one game just for fun, and he still is like, well, we're playing it safe, fellas. He's kicking a field goal from his opponent, 38. Down 25. He's like, oh, the point. We're going to start a 2QB system here. We need to get points on the board.

That's what we had to do. Can I just go out there as a proxy sim of an AI, Pat Die? Yes. Right? Pat Die, D-A-I. And just go out there and be like, We're going to lay it all on. We're going to put it all out there.

We're going to lay it on the line. Boys, that's why I'm kicking three field goals from inside the tent. That's why I'm just going to, I need you to go hog wild out there, and that's why I'm going to run all three downs and then punch. That's what we're doing. Pants or no? No pants. No pants.

Tommy Bowden seems like he changes pants between the halves. These are my second half pants. What? Moisture or superstition? Neither. I'm just not sure why these pleats are worn out it's time for fresh pleats

damn I gotta be sharp in a second I can't be seen like this oh what if he's pleat powered what if my accountant drops by I can't not have fresh bleats I'm gonna look poor are any of these men divorced now

are they possibly looking for like 50 something divorce says in the stands it does somebody say 50 something divorce says Dana stayed out of this. Yeah, I'm just asking. Oh, shit. Speaking of divorce days, I forgot to tell you all about my new neighbor.

Okay, so everybody's been here, but Ryan. So Newhouse, Ryan backs up to a ravine. Is this the Celine Dion thing? Shit, I told you. Yeah. I didn't tell Jason her server. You told us that they've been playing it really loud. Okay, we're up to four nights now.

We're up to four nights of, I have to tell them this. listener, you can't see any of the houses behind my house because there's real thick woods, but you can hear sometimes, and on four separate nights, beginning with, it's all coming back to me now, there is somebody in this neighborhood who is going out in the back of their house and just blasting all Celine Dion, all like 90s early aughts cuts, and Choice nugs. Nothing else. And now my question is like, do I play Celine back?

Yeah. Do I start a dialogue here? We have to. Welcome to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. Thank you for the round of applause, Ryan Nanny. You broke your foot off into it.

I did. I didn't know that I appreciate it. Put my whole foot into that. And now it's stuck. Someone, please help me get it out. I just got short legs. Ryan, that's true. It's because I got little short legs like a Lego man, just out here,

kicking people and moving in, you know, stop motion animation style. Ryan, how are things in beautiful Nashville, Tennessee? Well, my five-year-old asked me a question that I didn't know how to answer just a couple nights ago. This was without any context. Like, maybe we had looked at a map in the last week or something, but we weren't talking about the subject. She just sits up. She sits up and looks at me, and she says, is Cincinnati really in Ohio? And I didn't know what to say, because the answer is, like, kind of, but also not really? But, like, how does she know how Kentucky this is? I don't think, I don't know. Is this a child's instinct?

I think it might be. That's a little terrifying. She's driven through Cincinnati once, but it's not like we spent any time there. And it's like, you know, her context for Cincinnati is very limited to this. She might subscribe to Action Cookbook's newsletter. I can't promise that that's not the case. But I don't know. What do you say to that?

This is evidence in favor of the case that Cincinnati is in Kentucky because this is an independent third party who has come to the conclusion on her own. mouths of babes of riverbanks are full of lies i think it's very i think it is very useful in that she already has a foundation for the kind of you know borderland states and you know liminal geographic spaces that are border towns like cincinnati right i think that's good she's already there some people have to be taught that concept she fully understands that cincinnati is neither fish nor foul, neither Ohio nor Kentucky, but instead the hybridized beast of both. The lungfish of cities. It is a total lungfish of cities because, and I say this, by the way, as somebody who has

raised in Nashville, which I feel like has a little bit of Midwest poisoning. Like at times, you get stuck between the, you get stuck between the lunacy of being Southern and the like crushing mundanity of being Midwestern. So I get like, you know, 15% of that. It's got to be overpowering in Cincinnati. They don't know. Think about this. They don't know how to be crazy.

They don't. They have two different varieties of crazy. That's two gears that they have to consider all the time. I'm now thinking that she's discovered something that most of us take years to learn. Hey, Ryan, while we're on the subject, congratulations are in order for getting both of your children out of the house. Oh, it rules. for the first time ever. How do you feel? It's amazing. Being by

yourself, having kids is great and having them not be with you for long stresses of time rules. It's good for every. This is not just me selfishly saying that. My kids are much happier when they don't have to spend all that time with me. Nobody wants to do that. No, you've got

multiple other parents on this call. I don't think anybody would begrudge you this sensation. There's a diminishing return to parental contact. I don't know how many hours it takes but there's the rising peak right the rising slope if you go up up up to like dad dad dad dad dad dad rules and then all of a sudden dad has to tell you to brush your teeth or some shit and then this is why you know this was family this is why this was family Robinson was so obviously fiction

like two months into it they'd be like i got to get in my own fucking treehouse i don't care how bad it sucks yeah by the way great movie because it does point out that um if you leave Europeans long enough, they will start making weapons for no reason. They'll just start making it. Think about it. Swiss Family officers they were so ready. They were like someone coming for us. Oh, looks like I'll have to make a knife.

A coconut bomb. Wait, did you say coconut bong or coconut bomb because either one is funny? Just the Swiss Family Robinson up there getting housed off some Cheetah. Oh, you have never going back to Lucerne. Trademark. That's trademark.

That's ours. Yeah, that's it. Please get the full cast exclusive strain of marijuana that is Swiss family Robinson. Oh, I've never thought of that. Yeah, coconut bomb is the second strain. And, and... Consider Arizona stank. What would you call?

And tactical Great Dane. Tactical Great Dane is the third one. I wanted, I wanted to say this, that the longest Serena Williams, And the Vanity Fair piece where she announces her impending retirement. No, we need to set this up better. There is a setup here. The longest that she is, the longest that she has been away from Olympia is like, I want to say, 24 hours? She said there was one 24-hour period in five years where she had been away from her daughter.

Is that, has Serena Williams a better parent than either of us? Because, like, it was longer than that by the top of five. Like, yeah. Yeah, and I have no problem. There is nothing you could punt on the table. and say, hey, Serena's better at this than you. How do you feel, or I would feel bad? If you were like, Serena's better at being Ryan Nanny than you are,

I'd be like, great. She should take that for me. That's fine. Yeah, she's retiring now, so she'll have free time. We need to talk about, okay, how many of you have seen slash not seen Serena's retirement announcement? I've seen it. Ryan, Serber Jason.

I'm aware of it, but I haven't. I haven't. Oh, good. So do you guys recall when we were talking about, in one of the many occasions when we were talking about Garth Brooks's Garth Channel and Sirius XM in the interstitials where Garth

would say things like memorably he would talk up the artist that he was playing and how much he loved them but also he would maybe inadvertently maybe not inadvertently stunt on people he had no business stunting on like he would pull up the original I would always love you

and say things like I'm quoting here that Dolly Parton what a talent as though he had discovered her Okay, so Serena Garth Brooks her own retirement announcement because I found out about this on Twitter this morning when I saw Serena post an article that said a must read.

Like, you know, it's which, you know, is a thing that gets said a lot by a lot of serious people on Twitter. And it's a must read with a period. And it goes to Vogue, where Serena is announcing her retirement in Vogue. by covering Vogue she brought her daughter onto the cover of Vogue in a foldout

she wrote the story herself she said a must read and dropped her own Vogue profile and I could not love her more if she were my own mother I'm just I'm in awe better than me at everything

at literally everything and it's fine she might pretend to be bad at like some specific you know like smash brothers or something something just but she's secretly really good at it she just doesn't want you to feel awkward except it's serena so she would beat you i bet she's bad at smash brothers i bet she's bad at smash brothers because you have to be in order to do what she has done to be the best tennis player ever you have to study technique and there is no technique in smash brothers there's not the person whose fingers mash the buttons fastest wins that's not really true but

It is totally. I think, yeah, it is the kind of game that is going to frustrate a person who perceives logic and order and reason. Imagine Roger Federer plays on the tennis court. I also think that she's married to the Reddit man. And I think all that guy brings to the table is Smash Brothers skill. Yeah, we have wondered that for years. Together, they're good at everything. I'm glad that she has this little pocket-sized attache who can hold her purse.

I respect her choices, even though we're not. ones yeah but anyway dropping the a must read to your own vogue column announcing your retirement in belenziaga on a beautiful beach with your beautiful daughter i mean my god what a talent do it kerrins do the same shit do the exact same shit also we always have a listen and if you go through this is it's not even name dropping if you're serena williams but um having recently writtenist some rory mackleroy uh miss four Let's call it. It's always very funny to be reminded that Serena and Caroline Wozniak, you're best friends.

Like, can you imagine something more excruciating than the knowledge that every time you fuck up professionally, which is on television, Serena Williams is cackling with your ex in a group text somewhere. So Marlon Brando, whenever he did interviews, would inevitably say the following phrase during a late night interview. And it was this, my close friend, Ben Gazzara. Like, he would always say, he would always say, like, official close best best. friend Ben Gazzara and I was reading this piece and I love it because I was like at one point I bet she's going to be like my bestie

Carolyn Wosniacki and I looked down and it's like Carolyn Wosniacki comma one of my best friends no but for real they like go on vacation right right right right right they're like besties besties I want that I want to be able to just drop that kind of like I think I need to appoint a specific person

real or imagined right who is my who ran into the ground in a period of a few months would do this all the fucking time, by the way. But it would be, like, weirdly specific people from the 90s and he wasn't friends with them. He would be like, you know, I said this to Ben Kingsley and Khan in 1996. I'm like, were you really?

Yeah, he wasn't listening, but I said it. And it's pretty important and irrelevant to this discussion. You could get Chuck Amato, I bet. My close personal friend, Chuck Amato. What if you pick somebody who has this, a famous person who has like the same last name years, and you just drop the, like, no relation. Anthony Michael Hall? Yeah.

My close friend Anthony Michael Hall, no relation. So, you know, I was having a cup of coffee with my close personal friend Taylor Hicks. Oh, Jesus, that hurt. Yeah. That actually curdled my stomach. I can feel it. I was speaking with Randy Orton, my close personal friend. Yeah.

My spiritual advice. What if you, like, make a. make an implication that they're like your pastor. My Sven Ghali. Yeah. Then I'm going to really have to make a careful choice there. Like guru, but without saying guru, right? Yeah.

Or maybe I should just say I'm friends with Dabo. That's it. That's it. Like, so I was speaking with Dabo the other day. You know, but never, never, never, never make clear that it's Dabo Sweeney. Yeah. I never said it was Dabbo. Dabs.

Dab do. Sometimes I call them. It's Dabney Coleman, actually. Yeah. Ryan, how are you younger me? and you make older references. It is amazing. Because I'm so tired.

Ryan has an old soul, and I think we all agree. Yours is fairly unbated. I think you have watched more premium pre-digital HBO than any human being on the planet with my cast. Oh, you're ready to fight about...

That is true. I know you've seen cloak and dagger. 100%. How many episodes of early edition can you describe back-to-back first right now? I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do it. I am not a party animal.

All right. I'm not some sort of magic ape. Do not put a quarter in me and expect a Dabney Coleman reference to come out. What in the Zoe Duncan, Jack and Jane do you expect from me here? But yeah, I'm going to start doing that with Dabo. I think just that. Like, Dabs and I, we were, you know, at the lake,

because he's got a place up there. You do things like that, right? Like, yeah, he's at the lake. You know, the lake. That lake was Lake Como. Not a funny. me and dabbo we would to see george in a mall oh the twins they're getting so big they're just yeah they're massive they're just huge okay you can't describe George Clooney's

twins as massive powerful children although that would be very funny please stop praying for them if he gave birth to a pair of ungovernable small gods George Clooney and his two iron giants yeah he did because he did they burst from his forehead oh that's what happened in syriana okay that's a deep cut kids ask your parents I think with this um feigning to be friends with dabbo thing you got to do the the actor thing where they refer to Robert De Niro as Bobby if they know him so what you need to do

is called dabbo not dabbo but William his birth his birth name there we go there we go Bill can I call him Bill Billy no the most the more formal and the more opposite of dabbo the more you actually are the one who knows him you are the closest and I said to him Robert

right yeah because you know I I do him the courtesy of taking him seriously I think this also implies you have known Dabo since before he became Dabo like you knew him in 1974

You delivered him When I delivered William When I caught him I've watched him I've watched him grow You know when I conceived William I have invented a new Christian grift

Oh good We were lacking for them. Burthing sweet with a water slide in it so that your baby is baptized by the time it reaches the father's hands. Love it. Love it. Like you remember crocodile mile with the little water

curtain? Sure. This is emerging Catholicism. Just prop that listen, that has never been tried before. Definitely didn't go badly. Just prop it right up at the cervix and the baby just goes, shoo! We could even call it the crocodile

mile. Because Moses and the bull rushes right you're going to have a baptist uprising here yeah well that's what are the zipping lips and movement on clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap now listen I was going to say from somebody raised Catholic it's about time they stood up and did something at service all right sitters sitters do you want to do you are we telling the egg story are we moving on to the game I wanted to egg story we don't need we don't even need a second we don't need it no we can't do a I don't We don't need a lead in.

One, two, three, four. We love the Marine Corps when they're off duty. Yes. So this comes to us from... Can we get a Marine sponsorship? Let me read the correspondence name, which I absolutely love. And this is the correspondence name covering Greece is Constantine at Le Mazzaglu. I'm sure I slaughtered that last name.

But not like the Marines slaughtering the entire meat and egg reserves of a small Greek port city That's right Why is the egg part funnier? The egg part's funnier because protein bro That's it So at the Greek port of

Alexandropoli in late May U.S. sailors and marines visited As part of an exercise And once the amphibious transport ship Arlington arrived 1500 officers

And enlisted Marines spent three days in the northeastern Greek city and during their stay per Greekreporter.com a site I didn't know existed but now need... I thought this was a person's name. Greek report... It's with a K, so that's how you know.

So Debo and I were hanging out with our close friend Greekreporter.com and they ate thousands of eggs from local restaurants. One tavern owner said 6,000 to 7,000 eggs were needed to serve 1,500 officers and enlisted men. In other words, said the owner. I don't know why this is funny, but it's hysterical to me when you bring the eggs into it.

I said the owner, Georgios Alavantis. We don't have eggs. The Marines also consume substantial quantities of red meat were enamored with the local cuisine and the relatively low prices of their meals. Thank you, EU of financial crisis. Cheap eggs for troops. Greek's got that cheap protein, man. That's a presidential slogan right there. A strong dollar meets cheap eggs.

I'm on that 300 workout. What does that mean? What does that mean? I go to Greece and eat cheap food. And I eat 300 eggs. Like a reverse burdough. Oh, God. Because you know, for the Marines, it's a concern.

They're on that ship. They're on that like, man, I can't get enough can tuna. Like, I'm really worried about it. I'm only getting 80 grams of protein a day, bro. That's why they were going after the coy. It ain't enough. I need, like, I keep pounding. All of a sudden, Alexandropoli comes into view,

and they see Greek restaurants that will give you a gigantic shank of lamb and three eggs for, like, $4. Think of the farts. Oh, yeah. Think of the farts after 6,000 eggs get eaten. Also, listen, these are like, these are mostly young guys on leave. Going to the Greek equivalent of huddle house, right? Yes, correct.

Yeah, they're not trying. Oh, hey, let's find out the artisanal place that's up the hill. And there's a guy who raises his own. He's like, no, man, they're piling into the first open door and being like, eggs. Eggs, give me eggs. Open Google Maps. Cheap eggs. Start my distance.

Cheap eggs near me. Do you want the recommended cheap egg place? No, fuck it. Location. Oh, fuck that. Open now. Open now closest. Open longest.

I'm going to be there a while. I am opening Uber Eats and Alexandropoli to bring me more eggs. Uber eggs. Insta eggs. Bring eggs to the egg restaurant. I have wiped it out. You know, they're sleeping in those bunks that are about a foot and a half from each other with very little clearance. Man, that has got to be like sleeping in the wake of a jet engine.

They got gas masks. Right. Yeah, bro. I'm sleeping in my gear. But yes, Jonesy. Thank you for indulging that detour. I have not been able to dislodge this from my skull. Jonesy, we ate all the eggs in Alexandria.

I'm sorry to bring this up again, but call the Admiral. Tell them it happened again. I'm glad that the Marines are Washington State fans but for food. I was just thinking about that. You'll come to. Alexandropoli you eat my eggs you make love to my wife and your son

we're open minded win in Greece yeah this is this is yet another story of Marines doing marine things we love them do you guys

of eggs speaking of eggs I forget where we were going that's an alleyute pass just catch it however you want I was I was going to say speaking of orbs Speaking of

Orbs and punting I don't know Speaking of fucking Marines The Iowa Hawkeyes are troops And I just want to point out That for those of you disrespecting the Iowa Hawkeyes Which you consistently do Year in, year out

Making fun of their wholesome Old School offensive ways Making fun of their 8 and 5 record Mocking their 8 and 5 record Mocking the consistency of the Iowa program to produce and punch well above its weight. Did you say punt well above their weight? I'm not mocking their 8 and 5 record.

I enjoy it. America craves the Hawkeyes. And you know what? You're going to get more of it, despite what the coach's poll said, because somehow the disrespect continues to happen for the Iowa Hawkeyes, because in the coaches poll, the first edition of the 2022 coaches poll,

Iowa is unranked. How is that what? the eye goes to goes to for you you you're on he's a deeply broken man he's you're on alert for iowa disrespect today mm-hmm i am i'm on alert all the time for is it because they're 26th i have a series they are 26th so that's the problem here hey that's tennessee spot put them back no tennessee is put my tennessee eggs back Tennessee is 28th okay no i hadn't actually looked thank you that's very comforting that was holly you definitely sensed where your program was that's the only place where they're comfortable like i need to be

able to see them but they need to not have a number that matters who is 25th houston i can't be that mad at that so spencer you you have become angry at houston look what you look at the shoot you've worked yourself into listen all i'm saying i'm at every single one of those teams 25 through one, all of them on notice. Okay. Come to Kinnick on a late night in November when you've suffered a lot of injuries. If you don't want an ass-kicking. And it's due for five turnovers.

See if you get out alive. 10% chance of an ass-kicking. 10% because one of the 10 of you will lose. Also, Ryan, Kentucky and Cincinnati are right, again, ranked right next to each other. It's a little suspicious. man I thought you said ripe and I was like oh they are but I didn't really know what I meant by that yeah Kentucky's ripe can I give you my favorite ranking from the coaches ball and that is it and that would be number 13 NC State yeah that feels that's about as high as that's going

because it's because it's the words NC State that would no no I'm excited so at NC State this year I'm excited because this is a year in which they have the same number of first round draft picks and losses, call it four, we get one of those every few years with NC State. So here's, what is that, do we, is that an eclipse? I don't know. We need a name for it, though. It happens so frequently. The really mean part about this is that the first month of their schedule, they do play East, East Carolina on the road, and they play Texas Tech, which sure, maybe that's the thing, but then they also play Charleston Southern and Yukon. So the possibility that we're like top seven NC State is there, and it's going to make the

finishing unranked NC state so much more painful so much more painful i think my favorite ranking in here is a pit coasting off name brand value losing all their best players still showing up number 16 ahead of texas serious question how much are we responsible for propping this up and i mean the four of us you're welcome america yeah you're welcome a little yeah a grateful a grateful nation says thanks so now that we have a preseason poll that means we can start thing about the postseason because that's the only thing you're absolutely right. Get this season shit out of my side. That's right. The season is merely an impediment to the important

14 playoff, the only thing that matters. I only care about three games. Specifically which teams are playing in them. Truthfully, I only care about two of them because one of them I'm going to hate. I have devised a new game this year for the three of you by which you will select with your own hand and the random chance of fate. your four playoff team.

So what I have done is I have used the traditional D&D alignment scale, good to evil, lawful to chaotic. And I have sorted all 130 FBS teams on this metric based on their statistics from 2021. I'm going to tell you how this works so you know generally what you're getting into. But I'm not going to give you a ton of detail. So a good team has fewer penalty yards per game. has a very good record against the spread.

That's a very good record against the spread. Just I ranked you by, I ranked them all by their record against the spread. They're winning percentage against the spread. So the worse it is, the more evil you are. And a good team has a higher field goal percentage, successful percentage. I like that this means evil teams take people's money.

That's the thing. I wanted to point out that we have correlated good and evil according to gambler's fortune. Welcome to Draft King's production. This is like USC and Florida State are taking all your money. So evil teams rack up a ton of penalties, don't cover, and miss their field goals. Good teams do the opposite of that. Three out of four, that's Florida, baby.

Here's the lawful chaotic metric. A chaotic team has more total turnovers per game from both teams. Takeaways, giveaways, I don't care, just the total number of turnovers per game. game is higher. They also have a higher number of 30 plus yard plays from scrimmage. There's the other teams doesn't matter, just big plays. And the more chaotic team will have a lower ratio of punts to fourth down attempts. So I can tell you, like, there are three teams in FBS that last year had more fourth down attempts than punts. Or as many. As many fourth down attempts as punts. So if you

are a team that punts a lot more than you go for it on fourth down, you are more lawful than you are chaotic. Okay. So here's how this is going to work. You all get to pick, we're going to go in order where the first round, it's going to be Holly, Spencer, Jason. Holly, you are going to get to pick an alignment category. Lawful good, neutral good, chaotic good, lawful neutral, neutral, true neutral, chaotic neutral,

lawful evil, neutral evil, chaotic evil. Brian, I went to a science high school. You don't need to explain it. This is for the listener. The listener can play. So the listener can play along at home, too. If you have a 20-sided die, you can play along with the game. Or...

If you don't, frankly, you should be over at Split Zone. Do it. Or you can Google roll 20-sided die. Because they have extras, not because they don't have any. And Google, you can Google will just give you one virtually that you can roll. So, Holly, I need you to pick an alignment, and then you're going to roll your 20-sided dye, and based on that, I'm going to tell you which team you get. Law-neutral sounds like Bama.

Okay. And I would like to pick winners, but that doesn't sound entertaining at all. I'm calling chaotic neutral. Chaotic neutral. Okay. And do you want me to roll now? Yes, and I will let you know the results of your role. Okay.

Chaotic neutral rolling in 15. Okay, with a 15, your chaotic neutral playoff team is Utah State. That's going like, this is going as well as last year. All right. This is, this, honestly, I think that's a very good pick for you. I like, like this pick. That's the meanest thing. The qualifier.

The qualifier could be explained, Ryan. Because, because here's the thing. And I will, I will peel back, I will peel back the, the curtain a little bit here. You said Utah, and I got, like, I got so hype, and then you said the rest. Had you, in the chaotic neutral category, had you rolled in 8 to 13, you would have gotten UCLA. Do you.

Had you rolled a 2 to 7, you would have gotten Virginia. And if you had rolled a 1, you would have gotten Arkansas State. Okay, I feel okay with it. That's your critical fail. The only thing you could have done better was a critical hit. If you had rolled a 20, you would have gotten Oklahoma. Oh, I don't want that anyway. So, listener, if you're rolling chaotic neutral, that's what you get to pick.

So, Spencer, you are next up. I think you know where I'm going to go. Yeah, but we have to, but you have to say it. Which chaotic? Evil. Chaotic evil. Yeah, I had a feeling. Victible is whiskey.

Yeah. Okay. So, again, you're going to, do you want me to tell you what you can get before you roll or do you just want to roll? No, I just want to roll. I think it'd be funnier to tell them. after the less I know the better and I just hit 17 okay with a 17

you've got liberty Spencer I can't argue with the categorization so so chaotic I'm receiving it chaotic evil is a very slim cat not that many teams in FBS categorized as chaotic evil you you if you

if you had managed to roll 20 you would have gotten Oregon State. With an 8 to 13, you would have gotten Kent State. With a two to seven, you would have gotten Tulane, and with a critical fail, one, you would have gotten Duke. Sorry. This is a big L. Duke and Liberty are in the right category. Duke football. Hell, yes, Duke football. It's a familiar position for me, though. I'm rooting against myself. And that, that I'm familiar with us. Jason, which category would you like to take? Chaotic, obviously. And I'm here to make money chaotic good. Okay. So we've used up all the chaotics. Spencer, you're going to get to double up later, but I'll explain it when we get to that.

Jason, give me a roll that die. I have rolled a 16. Okay. With a 16, this is a great playoff so far that we've got going on. With a 16 in the chaotic good category, Jason, you have selected UTSA. Me as a playoff team. your other options the other outcomes you or the listener could have received with a role in the chaotic good category Baylor is the critical hit 20 East Carolina is 8 to 13 Hawaii is 2 to 7 and South Florida is a critical miss at 1 all right I feel fine about this Hawaii would have been nice but I feel fine about this

All right, so now we're going to bump everybody up one spot in the rotation. So Spencer, you go first in this round. Okay, so I can select, let's see. Any of the lawful or any of the neutral categories, except chaotic neutral. Okay. I'm going to go complete polar opposite. I'm going to go lawful good. Lawful good.

Okay. Give me a roll, please. And my rule. Eleven. With an 11, you get Oklahoma State. So far, I'm just collecting, I'm just collecting people who buy the products on the ACC network. So it's a January 6th playoff so far.

Yeah, these are the January. So far this playoff is being subpoenaed heavily. had you rolled a little worse you would have gotten Navy in the 2 to 7 category had you rolled a little better you would have gotten Iowa

in the 14 to 19 range Georgia is your critical hit here with 20 Illinois is your critical missing oh hey it could have been

so much worse so leave that on the board Jason you are next up so I have to take one that has not been taken yes you still have have a neutral, good, lawful neutral, true neutral, lawful... Can me true neutral, true neutral, okay, so true neutral and everybody's going to get to do

another true neutral after this. For this one, because there are a lot of true neutral teams, there are 20 possibilities here. Wow. So it's not a range and it's not really sorted by like who I think deserves to go where. Just here are 20 true neutral teams. So go ahead and Give me your roll. Okay. I rolled 14. Central Michigan is who you have selected in the true neutral category. Fire up chips.

But you're going to get another true neutral role here a little later, so don't worry. Why would he be worried? So so far, our playoff contains five teams, our different playoff contains five teams, one of which is a power five team, and it's a four. Lama State. So I feel good about this so far. Holly. Yes, sir. What do you want to pick? All right. Let's go back to lawful neutral because I don't care what the numbers say. I'm a vibes guy. And lawful neutral just feels like Bama to me.

Let's see if I can get a winner out of this. Probably not. Okay. All right. Rolling now. Five. With a five, Holly. You have selected Indiana. yes i sure have to the playoff um i sure have that's probably not what you wanted what do you mean but but the good news is we have another power five team in here uh your other options in the lawful neutral category had you failed this role you would have gotten Auburn had you

wait lawful neutral lawful neutral yeah right by then i understand i understand um had you had you had you had a critical hit here, you would have gotten Alabama, had to put them at opposite ends. I felt that was the only right thing to do. A middle roll of 8 to 13 would have gotten you NC State, and a role of 14 to 19

would have gotten you Texas A&M. So NC State is in the middle of the middleist category? Oh no, Lawful neutral. This is an excellent system, Ryan. Correct. Yeah, this checks out. Okay. Jason, your first up this round.

Let's hit True Neutral again. excited to see what's in there. I'm going to make you say you're too neutral. So it has to cool down. So the other categories that we have not done, we haven't done lawful evil. Oh, that sounds good, yeah. Okay, okay.

Oh, right, roll. Give me a 13. Okay, with a 13 in Lawful Evil. You just missed out on getting Mississippi State. They're the 14 to 19 candidate. Instead, you've selected UC. I don't know why that's funny I'll take it over Mississippi State

Had you had you Critt failed you would have gotten New Mexico with a 1 With a 20 you would have gotten San Diego State And with a 2 to a 7 you would have gotten Arizona State That is a crew right there Yeah Lawful Evil was a somewhat

A somewhat limited crew As well I believe But it's a hell of a Bachelor party weekend. I believe. Dream blow rotation. Holly, I think you are the last one to pick. I'm trying to look through and see what we haven't done here.

Is it neutral evil? Did I hear that? I think it is neutral evil. Yeah. I think neutral evil is last and then Spencer gets double up and then everybody's going to get to do a true neutral. But yes, neutral evil is. Neutral evil she is. All right.

Roll up. Wow. Something's going to go bright. Something's going to go wrong here. Holly, you just missed out on Oregon. A son of a. Oregon would have been your 20 role here. I'm going to tell you who you missed out on in the low end.

What happened instead, Ryan? I'm going to tell you who you missed out on the low end before I reveal who you've gotten. Okay. The fail candidate here is FIU. I don't think you wanted them. The two to seven is Florida. I know you didn't want them. Eight to 13 is Maryland.

That's a problem in a different way, yep. Holly, you've selected the Tennessee volunteers. Shut up! No! I rebuke this. The neutral evil Tennessee vals. What? Oh, when, Lord.

When's going to be my time? Wow. Wow. All right. Spencer, before we move on to the true neutral off. What? Something funny. Okay, so to review, before Spencer makes his third pick. Holly has

Utah State Indiana and Tennessee Jason has UTSA Central Michigan and UCF Dear God You just nothing but multi-directional 17 people

will watch my playoff Spencer you're sitting on Liberty and Oklahoma State You can pick Any category So you can't double up one you've already picked and lawful good, and you're going to get another true neutral, so don't pick that.

But any other category that we've touched, you can pick here. But don't we want to make it so Spencer can add Duke to that group? Yeah, hold on. Let me ask you what my pick is here. Harvard? Okay, I'm going to... Sorry. I'm going to go ahead and pick... I can pick Chaotic Good, correct?

Jason already did that. No, he gets, we don't have enough to do this exactly right, so he gets to double up. Okay, so you want another chaotic good. The only thing, well, now, if you get UTSA, you can both have UTSA. It's nice to have friends, so go ahead and give me, give me a roll. How was this? I'll re-roll. I'll re-roll.

Okay, okay. If you get a 14 to 19 re-roll, because that's already spoken. Don't need to re-roll. I keep hitting 11th, man. East Carolina is your team. Oh, man. Combo breaker. Yeah, so now you've got Liberty, Oklahoma State, East Carolina.

We're now down to the last round where everybody's going to get to do a true neutral dice roll. And for this one, I would like all three of you to roll at the same time. And assuming it's not a team you already have, I'm fine if we have ties here. All right. Ready? Roll. Holly, Holly, what did you, Holly, what did you roll? 18.

God. Holly, you have Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt is your voice. I'm not. I'm not. Just like we drew it up. You have, you have somehow a playoff that has Vanderbilt and Tennessee and Indiana. Utah State looks better and better as your parents.

Three of my playoff teams can be taken out with one hydrogen bomb. Utah State's the one to build it Spencer what did you roll Oh Y'all are in trouble I rolled it two Oh Spencer with a two You have Cal

That is correct As your fourth team This is quite a political spectrum You have The Cal Liberty Semifinals is going to be a lot of fun A lot of fun Just, just I have, so let's see, just to recap, I have, let's see.

Sorry, I don't have an MP3 of playing forward to Zion. I have. Liberty. I have, for you there, buddy. Two different varieties of fascist. Uh-huh. Right? I have, uh, pirates.

Yeah. And then I have cow. Cow. Yep. Yeah, okay. Jason, what did you roll? Um, a mere seven. With a 7, Jason, you've gotten the Nebraska Cornhusker.

Yes. Yes. All right. So Jason's got... So I have Scott Frost against UCF. Uh-huh. And UTSA against Central Michigan. All right.

I'm good with this. For it, for it, the listener in case you wanted to make a true neutral role, here's who you could have... Here's, I'll read off everybody. A one gets you Army. A two gets you Cal. A three gets you Cincinnati. 4 Florida State 5 Kansas State 6 Miami 7 Nebraska 8 Ohio State 9 Pitt 10 Texas 11 UAB 12 Utah 13 Wisconsin 14 Central Michigan 15 Fresno State 16 Penn State 17 Washington 18 Vanderbilt 19 Louisiana Monroe I don't think Holly would have rather had Louisiana Monroe No I suppose not and 20 Wyoming right I hate you this is a great game so

Listen, I know last time we did swaps and trades, but this year, not this year, I promise, I'm going to track it. I'm going to, we're going to see. Hey, what are your playoff team? I'm the dungeon master. I don't have any playoffs. Nice try. Nice try. I got the field.

Y'all got these 12. So we each get to pick one of our teams that's Ryan's team. Yeah. You know what? That's fine. You can assign me one of your four teams. Ryan, you're joining me in Nebraska fandom. Ryan, you're picking up Vanderbilt fandom because they're your hometown.

Okay, great. Spencer, who are you assigning me? To curse you and absolutely give you the worst. Why does your brain automatically go there? No, it's the right choice. I'm going to go ahead and give you Texas Tech. No, one of your teams. Oh, okay.

I'm going to give you Texas Tech. You know, you only had the example of two or three people going before. What? You don't have Texas Tech. You have Oklahoma State. Oh, I'm giving you, I'm giving you liberty. Fuck Liberty. I don't even want it as a joke.

You still have them. I'm just stuck in that boat with you. And I will, and I will roll, I will roll 120-sided from the true neutral and see who I pick up to add to it. No, it was Cal. That's already taken. Okay, I have, I have Wyoming. Wyoming is my, is my fourth team. So fine. I have Nebraska, Vandy, Liberty, Wyoming.

I have just a stupid playoff. That's all of you. I'm not any better. I'm not any smarter. I mean this. Are any of us going to get a single team from this in? Like, I don't think in, like, Holly is the only one who stands.

Don't say that. What? I'm uncomfortable. No one for, no one for mine is going. What? Who are you here for again? Tennessee, Indiana, Vanderbilt, Utah State. Okay.

Oklahoma State, Spencer. This is a hard no all around. The thing is I put... Oklahoma State's going to rank... They're going to do what they always do. They rank like 7th until, like, October. Everybody's good at something. The thing is I put, like, other...

I put other, like, reasonable teams in here. Mm-hmm. So it just... could have opted out of absolutely all of them. Yeah. Yeah. I think we didn't do neutral good. That's the one we didn't do.

I want to, you know what, Spencer? I'm going to do you a favor. If you want to swap Liberty for a neutral good role, you can do that right now. Okay, I do have one thing I want to point out about Oklahoma State first that I just looked up and want to share with you. Yeah. So, Jason, you bring up the point that they event, get up to, like, eighth, and then they fall off. Do you think that usually happens around October?

Like, end of October? Sometimes it happens in November. Okay. See, I think this is a very interesting point, because Oklahoma deer season starts October 1st, and the muzzleloader season begins the 23rd, and firearms run November 20th through the 5th, archery starts October 1st and is open. All I'm saying is that once bow hunting is open, it's open. open in the state of Oklahoma.

Oklahoma State football starts to slide, brother. As soon as like snake bow hunting, that's when cowboy football becomes number two. It's really blowgun season. Once blowgun season on deer. Once it's varmint biting season. Hey, snake blow hunting is a great quarterback prospect. People don't know this, but Mike Gundy hasn't even been at several games in November because, you know, Well, yeah, he was storming the Capitol.

I think. I don't want to plan in January. What am I thinking? Snake's low gun hunting is particularly devastating way to kill a snake. You're killing it by like pretending to be a snake. Oh, yeah. It's a lived by the sword, die by the snake. If you bid a snake to death, it would just be sitting there going, huh.

So that's what that feels like. I guess I should have been more considerate. I'll change my ways. That is now my dream to strangle an an anaconda to death. Irony! With your thighs. Just because. Well, that's a direction.

Spencer, I do want you to roll one more. I want to swap your liberty for a neutral good team since I fucked that up. We didn't do it. All right. Here we go. I'll swap your liberty. 14. This is perfect.

Spencer, liberty's not your problem anymore. Notre Dame is. You got granddad Liberty. You could have had Michigan with a 20. 28 to 13 would have been Air Force. Two to seven would have been Boston College and one would have been Bowling Green. You got the original Liberty.

Liberty heavy. I got Liberty heavy. Dang it. Green Liberty, Irish, Indiana Liberty. Oh, Christ. Ryan, can I swap CMU in that case? I find their views problematic. Sure.

I know I said I wouldn't do this. What, you can swap them. Swap! No, Holly's next. Michigan should not be central in any way. Jason, you can... Boy, if I want an Irish Liberty, I'd radio edit. You can pick a... What category feels right to you?

Give me more chaotic good. Okay, go ahead and give me a chaotic good role. Let's see if I'd double up. Six. You can have a Y instead of CNA.S. Yes. Yes. Thank you. I think your chances are not any better at this point.

That's fine. But the bowl selection committee will have a much better time. So, to review, and this is now final. This is whole shit. Holly, you have Utah State. This is cyberbullying. Indiana, Tennessee. It's only funny when I do it.

And Vanderbilt. We love it when Indiana and Tennessee play each other. Purdue. Purdue, listen. jar. You don't get credit Indiana. As if we needed bigger stakes for Hawaii and Vanderbilt in week zero. But Holly and Jason is going to open the season. Playoff Eliminator. Or a chance for a quality win. All right, let's do it. Jason, Jason's got. Where is that game? Is it a national? It's in Hawaii. Oh, no. What the fuck is wrong with this is Vanderbilt's

goal game. Vandy's going a whole week early. Desire for a chicken bet decreases. is Vandy going a whole week early That's what they told us at media days Yeah they're going in entire For acclimation That's it Hashtack business trip That's

Vandy's gonna cosplay their entire way Through White Lotus season one Before they didn't get there Which parts Mind your business So Jason you've got The spread on this is Vandy by a touchdown Jason

What? That's what it says Holly, you're doing great. I don't like it when you say my name anymore. I'm sorry. It used to perk me up like an animal that only understands sounds. I'm sorry. Jason, you've got UTSA, Hawaii, UCF, Nebraska.

Yeah, according to SP Plus, it should be a pick-em, so I'll take that. Spencer, you've got Cal, East Carolina, Notre Dame. All right, Ryan, last ditch effort. At Oklahoma State. Last ditch effort. Yeah. Can I swap out Indiana if I promise to take Auburn? No.

It has to be a roll, Holly. It has to be a roll. But if you want, I will let you swap out Indiana for a lawful. You can roll for a lawful good team. All right, rolling. Rolling nine. It's Oklahoma State. Do you want that?

Oh. That increases your playoff odds, but. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Okay. All right. So you're sticking with Indiana. I guess. Tyre. You have a very good home. You have a very, like a real home field lineup. You do. Yeah. Yeah. So that's good. Bad football, good t-shirts.

Yeah. Great t-shirt. You saw states good at football. Don't lump them in with that. Wait. What if I take Florida State? No. Absolutely. come on i'm trying to think of entertaining teams that i can take that aren't indiana which is not interesting to me this year okay i will give you one more true neutral role all right but it has to be a team that's not not that hasn't been five you can have kansas state okay all right all right okay i'll swap you out interesting connor sorry oh shit sorry so you have utah state kansas state

Tennessee Vanderbilt. I love my playoff boys. Uh-huh. I can tell you mean that. I'm now, I'm now, I will say this, the bad thing about Notre Dame is having Notre Dame's good thing. I might actually have a playoff team. I will tweet this out at some point,

so if you want to catch up. Feels like the first time. Sorry, Ryan. And you want to roll your own playoff for, go for it. There is a way. You have to roll very well, and you have to pick the right categories. Yeah, that's the problem.

You can get, like, a legit playoff out of this. Just none of us did. I don't even think we got close. Kind of like an actual football. So if you roll all 20s, you're getting pretty much a likely playoff. Yeah, I'd say so. There are a couple. I wrote 19, and that's how I ended up with Tennessee.

But the 20s were all, the 20s were all, I recall, Alabama and Oregon. Mostly, mostly. Like the 20 in Lawful Evil, San Diego State. Chaotic Evil is super thin, so it's Oregon State. So it depends on not only the situation, the position of the team within the category, but the position of the category within the overall sector. Correct. I would also like to point out that now, Jason and I have to pay attention to the Nebraska

Northwestern game in Ireland. That matters for us. No problem there. So fuck me. What is that at like 7 a.m. or something? It's at 11.30 Eastern. I love it. Can I swear for a second into an actual football thing that's been biting my brain since last week's hand in the dirt?

I don't know if server's listening right now. But I wondered if you guys could heat check me on something. Tennessee National Championship? Yes. I think it's happening. your brain is going to feel like 98 by which i mean it's going to be in 98 pieces when i peel you apart and eat individual lobes like grapes i knew i was like ray leota i knew it you know who was eating the osborne brothers

i'll stop go vols i was about to take your side in something dick wagg it'll be really funny of Tennessee wins the national championship this year. Admittedly. What the fuck? Tim to agree. Why don't you do that to me? My father might listen to this. You're trying to kill my dad.

Just look at it. Like Tennessee's up by 23, and there's two minutes left in the fourth quarter of the national championship game for the playoff. And Holly is sitting there going, you sons of bitches. You motherfuckers. What do you think we were doing in the last title game? You're going to fuck this up. They usually fuck this up.

Holly's texting me. I fucking hate you, Ryan. So it's that time of year where actual college football talk radio comes back online, which means it's the time of year on hand in the dirt where Hartzl starts saying absolutely insane things. Yes. And Cerber and Felder have to then beat him back into submission with swords and plowshares. And this week's, Felder's been bringing up a very good point that he and I have been talking about lately, which is that Georgia's offense, we believe, is being overrated headed into this year

because Georgia lost an entire first round of the NFL draft on defense. And there might be moments in time in the offense this year where Georgia might have to play from behind or not have a short field. like against tennessee maybe oh no i'm not talking no no no come on man that's what you give for for saying there's a time of year that hartsell does this shit and it's not just i'm on your side i'm on your side you were a little bit of a heartbeat in the way you phrased it though wow you know what never mind you were the chosen one never mind The South Carolina game.

Yeah, do you think this, do you have a place in mind where you think this is going to head? Yes. Kentucky. Yes. No. You know what? When it comes up, I'll let you know.

I haven't looked at Mississippi State. This is not me looking ahead to a trap game on the future schedule. This is actually me looking back. Okay. I'm going to ask a question that's going to sound really stupid. and I know that's a new experience for all of you, so I just want you to brace yourselves. Did anybody watch the Georgia Mizzou game last year,

like the first 20 minutes of it? Wasn't that the particularly horrible one? Not right away. Georgia Vanderbilt was really... Or Georgia Arkansas. Yeah, Georgia Arkansas. I mean, all of them. But so...

Georgia Mizzu, I remember the spread was like 40 points. That's all our call. Okay, so Georgia Mizzu was really interesting for like 15 minutes last year. And the only reason I remember this is because I don't actually know what possessed me to watch that game that day. I must have been waiting for something else to come on. But it has stuck in my head listening to all these, well, we're going to have to watch George's offense play out of rhythm this year. And they have Stetson Bennett and they have their tight ends. But we don't know what we don't know.

And this is an offense that it kind of. reminds me of the Bama of old in that they're in that stage of development where when you get them off of their scripts they tweak so i don't know why i remember this but go back to the first quarter of georgia mazou last year and the reason that this is interesting is because mazou was like down to their third string freshman quarterback or was rotating quarterbacks or something and for the first like the operating point being for the first like quarter of the game you got to watch Georgia playing against a team

that they didn't have tape on playing against players they didn't have tape on now it was really interesting because you could watch you could watch their development happen in real time like predator

because their defenders these you know the most talented defenders in the country were coming off the line like oh shit oh he's going over there oh skitter skitter skitter and they would like run sideways

and you know their superior talent would then swarm and they would bring the guy down and it only took them like a period to adjust to this right and then after that they were like oh new new new new and the final score was something horrific I don't even remember

but 43 six I'm looking at it right now but watching it was maybe the only time last year in the regular season that we got to watch them operate out of rhythm and I am wondering if that augurs

for I'm wondering if we think they still have the depth to play catch-up that, to play like cognitive catch-up that quickly in individual games? Does that make sense? I think so.

Anyway, that's where I was trying to go like 15 minutes ago. So, thank you. My only quibble with it is I'm not sure. This is a heat check because I genuinely don't know. I want you to quibble with it. I think, I think that makes sense.

I am not sure. I mean, yeah, they play Oregon to open. the season but like they should they should be well i'm not sure it's going to show up at or yeah i'm not sure it's going to show up at oregon like week one games are so i don't know that you can ascribe much to week one games anyway right nobody knows what they're doing right so i'm just not sure who else it was going to it would be because their west opponents this year are auburn and mississippi state sure maybe mississippi state and then their other non-conference games are Samford, Kent State, and the Georgia Tech game.

So back up for a second and look at week three. South Carolina. I kind of, I didn't really have one in mind until you asked if I was looking ahead. Is it there? If South Carolina beats Georgia. No, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying at all. No, no, no, yeah, I know. But if they do, the contract extension that they're going to hand that man.

I mean, don't get me wrong. This would be hysterical, and I'm reaffir it at this very moment. But I am wondering where the points are along Georgia's arc this season, because, you know, as they set on hand in the dirt this week, like this season is Georgia's actual test, right? Not last season, it's this season. It's can you reload and not rebuild? And I'm wondering where we might be able to see Georgia learning on the job in these little capsules like we got to see in the first quarter of Missou last year. And that's really the only one in like the front half of the season where it looks like maybe they could afford to game out for them that far ahead of time. So the only other permutation that I think might play out in that realm is what desperate coach or program is like we're going to just we're going to build like we're going to build a whole package and just hold it just to fuck with Georgia.

Georgia Tech's done this before Sure This is not This is not out of the realm of possibility And the only thing that makes me think It might not be South Carolina Is that South Carolina has Arkansas The week before

Like I kind of hope it's Auburn I kind of hope Auburn is just like Fuck it We're calling Penn State NALISU losses Already Just book them The schedule is weird on them too

Because Georgia gets Auburn in like week six this year Right You don't have them at the end of the year I hate that Yes, and they have them right after they host LSU. Anyway, I'm sorry to talk about football, especially in our playoff episode, but I woke up thinking about the Georgia Mizzou game, and that's how I know it's almost fall. No, I hope, I don't know who it will be Auburn, Tennessee, whoever.

I do hope there is one program that is just like part of our goal this year is just to try to fuck with Georgia. Yeah, we want to win the division and blah, blah, blah. I don't think, I don't think Highball is SEC enough to be spiteful like that. It's not that. I don't think that staff enough as a whole is SEC enough to be spiteful like that. I think it's just the way they play. I think Tennessee is one of those teams that will come out and put up 21 and then not put up, like not put up another point to late in the fourth.

Or not. Because Heiple's one of those offensive guys who's like, I have 15 genius plays that they're not anticipating. And then after that. Do you know what it reminds me of, honestly, is, and I mean, I mean, this is not a huge leap, but watching Jeff Tedford out genius himself at Cal. Yeah. Because he would completely, like the first three or four series, sometimes the defense facing what they do on offense has no clue what they're looking at. Additionally, you can make a mistake because it's one of those offenses that put you into man coverage.

And if you're facing a defense that just likes to line up in man and guard people one-on-one, sometimes people get beat one-on-one, especially on big-ass jump balls. down the field it happens so um i could see that happening and then see georgia like crush their way back into it because that's what like they they had such there was such a talent differential between them and missou last year that even when they were completely on their heels at every snap which they were for a lot of that first quarter they could then make up for it with because they have nikobie dean who can teleport so so here's the here's now why i want a reverse course on the week one game the thing I forgot, Oregon has a new coach, Dan Lanning, who knows that Georgia roster and knows

what they're going to do. So if there is somebody and they won't, like, they're not going to have any tape on Dan Lanning's Oregon. If there is somebody positioned to say, okay, I know where the thermal exhaust port is and what to shoot at it, maybe it's Oregon. Like, I'm totally jinxing They're going to lose by 20 now. No, the person jinxing it would be Stephen Hartzell who said Oregon doesn't have a player who could make Georgia's roster. A real thing he said out loud on the podcast this week, which is what got me thinking about this.

What were you going to say, server? I just, like, there is no one on Georgia's offense that strikes fear. And to me, Brock Bowers. Not even the tight ends? No. Lad. No, that's correct. Brock Bowers.

He's very good, but Stetson Bennett is throwing him the football. You don't need a whole lot. I could probably get, like, three receptions to Brock Bowers. Okay, like, Kyle Pitts was very amazing at Florida, but, like, how successful were they? But, I mean, throwing to Brock is, like, throwing to, not the broad side of a barn, but throwing to the narrow side of a barn. Okay, but then also, like, if that's your guy, all right, and if, is there anyone else that, like, you think if someone locks him, him down, which is possible if he's the only person you have to worry about. If there's not a running

game to speak of. If only Georgia had another tight end. Stetson Bennett is the running game, my dude. Watch some wheels. Watch some wheels. A lot of people have talked about the Georgia defense and like having to reload, but like that's not the problem. I want to be wrong about this. No, and

that's what started this whole thing up. I agree with you that the Georgia offense is very possibly being overrated because we have never had to see that because none of this is all contextual the offense exists as a function of what the defense is able to do and vice versa but we have never seen george's offense play minus a flotilla of the best players the program has ever seen also why are we talking like i'm not saying they won't do it i'm saying we don't know

and there's no way of knowing i mean i like i half agree with you server because george's offense isn't as good as i think people are hyping it up and that it's because they're not they don't have to be that good and they're not designed to be that good. I think they pick their spots, they pick their places, but they're largely there to burn clock and run the ball because Georgia still has Jalen Carter on the defensive line. Hey, who's that? Yeah, he's one of the best defensive linemen in the nation,

and he's probably going to go first in the NFL draft. And he was awesome. Last year, he just couldn't go pro. That's like when you go back and you go, well, yeah, Georgia has to reload. Cool, they got ammo. They got enough. They got rounds for you. But I'm not saying you're wrong.

I'm saying I'm not sure we can know that yet. Yeah. Also, we have to get our first taste of this. Also, I'm really sorry once again for backing us into an actual football argument. No, it's, I like when we trick the listener by burying the football conversation at the end of the episode. This is only because Hand in the Dirt, I was listening to Hand in the Dirt this morning when Stephen Hartsall said, and I quote, Oregon doesn't have a player that can make George's Ross. Speaking of known quantities, by the way, we get to see all of.

this for the first for the first time against a quarterback who i can safely say is the most known quantity in college football i know exactly what i'm going to get when i watch bo necks the most known unknown i believe we should that is correct because i know bo necks has four incredible completions and two good scrambles and georgia knows that too between yeah georgia knows that as well like Like, imagine they, they, when they realize that, right? Coming down off the title high, next football game we have to play against. Po fucking Knicks. We'll probably win, but it'll be so much work.

I've asked this before. Have we, do we retroactively need to re-rate Gus's entire tenure? Yeah. Under the Bow-Nicks heading. I mean, I think the subsequent coach is another piece of information there. Gus survived that long there. I do think, speaking of, the funniest team to spring a lay a trap for Georgia and then turned it into a contract extension, of course, would be Auburn.

Yes, correct. Correct. It's mostly because it's like, you've done this before. Why are you doing this again, Auburn? Why are you making the same stance? It's not bad for you. Doc, it hurts. It's that, it's that, it's, it's that dad.

joke doc it hurts when i do this well don't do that i lost all my money in crypto and that's why i'm buying more crypto i bought the wrong crypto the wrong crypto the wrong crypto the opurn tiger's football story the harsen floor is here that means you should get in because it's the ground floor that's it get in because this ship's about to take off y'all where's it going never you mind i really got to stay and i'm glad you didn't who Who will, like, let's assume Brian Arson gets fired in the middle of the year, because that's the funny your thing to do. Who on that coaching roster is stepping up to fill that void? It's all Boise guys at this point, right?

I believe so. Pretty sure he's done the purge, yeah. Like, I Killiards, the wide receivers coach. Cadillac is the running backs coach and recruiting coordinator. Where's Kevin Steele? Where's Kevin Steele right now? I feel like we talked about this recently, and I can't remember. I think he's at Miami.

I know, but I don't feel safe, not knowing. Yeah, he's, he's the co-DC at Miami. Okay, so that's not too far. Okay. He gets to play home games in the Orange Bowl, where his career completely fell apart. The third time? The shell of the Orange Bowl. Yep.

Yep. Yeah, there's, uh, I, uh, foof. I know who's, I know who's stepping up. It's Cadillac, right? I guess. Yeah, it's Cadillac. That's, listen, it doesn't matter. When you're in that kind of a situation and you're in Auburn,

they're going to run home to family. They're going to be like, hey, he was waiting all along. Cornell Williams. Walkout music's going to be Vanessa Williams. Save the best for last. Zach Etheridge, who is on the 2010 team, he's an associate head coach. So he's also, yeah, it's just, I hope they've, this is what I hope.

I hope they've had that conversation amongst themselves without Brian Harson in the room be like, hey, if they come to us and they're going to come to us, who's taking the reins? Because that's going to suck. We need to be prepared to support one. Maybe they rotate. Maybe it's just like a weekly, hey. This week, it's you.

Sister wives of the planes. This Make-O-Wish child is coaching the Iron Bowl. Listen, we all just pause because we were imagining Auburn fans booing kids with cancer, right? That's where everybody went, right? I just want to confirm. Yeah. Okay. Just Alabama fans being like, you ain't got it.

Faker. Faker. Coach crisis actor. Just trying to slow down our offense. That's it. Pity, trying to weigh us down with pity. We're still going to run a 435. I thought it was coaches versus cancer.

Y'all switched teams. Look at that. It's going to be Al from Deadville for this season's over.