Shutdown Fullcast - 2023 40 FOR 40, Vol. 1

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Featuring: Myrtle Beach Bowl! Celebration Bowl! New Orleans Bowl! Cure Bowl! New Mexico Bowl! Gronk Bowl! Independence Bowl! Famous Toastery (what) Bowl! Frisco Bowl! This episode is most definitely not sponsored by Arby’s  Visit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needs Visit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM  for exclusive literary revelations  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm Orson Wells. Listen, this is the dumbest idea I've ever had, but I really want you to do one whole episode in Orson Wells where we don't acknowledge it. Mm-hmm. Hitler, deeply unimpressive man. Like, whatever you would normally say, just do it in that voice. That's a quote, Ryan.

I believe you. I just don't think that's what Holly meant. Well, you know. Gus Johnson determined that's relevant to discuss during your college. Oh, yeah, dude. He was kind of doing Orson. Wells. Yeah.

Old Dolph. A bad man. Old Dolph. The bad one. Jesus Christ. Welcome to the shutdown, full cast, you are looking to the shutdown full cast. you are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall.

I am joined as I always am by Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, Ryan Nanny, and on the ones and two's Michael Serber. Before I say anything else, let me remind you that this episode is brought to you by Coors Light, Mountain Cold Refreshment, Made to Chill. Spencer, during that welcome, my dog who I don't think has ever been in the same room as me while recording this overheard the welcome and the look on his face was like that dog can sing it was the same look as if if a dog is howling near near him and he's like he's not a howler but he'll appreciate a good howl so your welcome was dog approved today you think yeah do you think

dogs hear other dogs sometimes they go that motherfucker spitting man i like that this makes jason's dog like a motown record executive and spencer yeah yeah yeah yeah i need you to song to sing the song that you would sing on your deathbed. My God, he's got it. He's starting to believe. I found dog Whitney Houston. Fast forward to 45 minutes. I have a massive coat problem

and I'm like, I don't know if I can do it. There's like, there's 50,000 golden retrievers out there and they all want to hear you say, welcome. Those dogs are tearing their shirts off at the sight of you. I'm telling you, they're all going to pee themselves. They're going to do that anyway.

They're dogs. You know who else is in gendering that kind of reaction these days. Tommy fucking DeVito. I know this is a 40 for 40. It's a time. It's Italian hour. I know it's not an NFL show. But my God.

Canonically, it is an emotional truth that Tommy DeVito is a college football player. Can we all agree? Oh, 100%. Like, he's this year's Josh Allen. I, can you imagine? He's still ours. He's not, he's not out of the house yet, as we know.

Yeah. Can you imagine what it's like to be Daniel Jones, injured, not particularly well-liked by your, by your fan base or her meeting? Why would you want to do that? I mean, it doesn't look great. And all of a sudden, here comes undrafted living in Jersey with his mom, Tommy Davido, fucking inspiring Italian touchdown celebrations from his teammates. I think was David Roth who called him Tommy Cutlets, Davido. Tommy Cutletts. Everybody calls him Tommy Cutlets. Tommy Cutlets. He knows a guy with a fedora. Because he was on, he was listing his favorite Italian foods and with Cougain, the TikTok

influencer Coozine, and they both had to order five random Italian dishes. And he said his favorite of the five that they gave him was cutlets because they can do anything. They seemed to, they had like no patience or interest in any of the other dishes. Shroom can't be get that shit out of here. Yeah. Where are you getting these from? now Daniel Jones is going to

like show up and be like I brought lasagna everybody's going to be like boom we hate you thanks for bringing fish Pete he's going to bring pizza and be accused of appropriation that's insensitive fucking insensitive

also you got it from a really good place I like that place it's good but it's insensitive he did his research which was very rude of him I mean I just I didn't want Tommy DeVita because like who knows how long this beautiful Italian train will run. Oh, if it's the NFL, it ends next week. Right. That's the thing. The NFL's

great. You're like the most beautiful story, the most spectacular storyline, the most inspiring, and he's been broken in half. They would be like the third of those this year. Like Josh Jobs, um, the Bears guy who was around for seven minutes. I think Joe Flacko's back on the Brown's practice fun, despite all. Joe Flacco was very briefly the best quarterback in the week for like an hour on Sunday. Bo pointed out on the right time yesterday We're in a position in Cleveland now where Deshaun Watson is going to have to win his job back from Joe Flacco

Just like we drew it up Dude, that is the easy I'd tell the Browns trade for Tommy DeVito Hey You think they can afford him? It's Italian for the Vizth Listen, not if the Giants hand him the Daniel Jones contract You said, man, I don't know what you could pay me to be Daniel Jones.

You could pay me Daniel Jones salary. You could pay me that contract. Daniel Jones will make more money next year than Shohei will make from the Dodgers in the next 10 years. The market is never wrong. People get mad about that Shohei thing by the way going, oh, he's deferring money.

Yeah, he is. You know what Shohei does with this money? He gives it to his mother. That's what Shohei has done for most of his career. His hand is checked to his mom and say, please put that in the bank and just give me whatever I need. The Japanese Tommy Cutlets. I just tried to combine the two in my head

and the noise my brain just made was akin to expensive machinery breaking. We like two guys. They're from different places. That's what's cool about them. That's right. That's right. They're equally talented athletes.

Cutlets in Japanese is just Katsu, right? I think so. So this would be like Tomi Katsuretsu? Yeah. Yeah, he played for... I've got the accents. wrong in there, I know. Print the jersey. Print the jersey.

International superstar. Oh, yeah, this is easy. All we have to do, we get Tommy Cutlitz, goes to the Chargers, natural fit there, becomes roommates with Shohei. They become the Cutlet Bros. This is beautiful. This is just perfect. Yeah, also...

The Chargers defer his $4 million guaranteed contract. We're paying him a mozzarella. Hell sticks. Yeah. I do refuse to believe his manager is real. If you've seen photos of his agent, no,

that's absolutely a real man. His agent, no. His agent is, his agent is dark wing duck. The guy of the hat is his agent? Yes. I thought that was a cosplayer.

Nope. Also maybe. I'm not making this up. I literally thought this was like a fan in the stands just dressed in like a party city suit suit. Sure. Oh man. Maybe and also that's his agent.

Like it could be both. And then you'll find out, Tommy DeVito speaks perfect Canadian French. He loves his mother. You're like, God, that sounds awful. Yeah, that's how it's supposed to sound. Sounds like you're really angry all the time. Tom, DeVito said Free Quebec. Spencer, can you give us a little podcast business, please?

Podcast business, podcast business, podcast business, what's that business? It's a business. podcast business what you want to sell we got stuff to sell and you're gonna buy it because you like us that's why you're gonna buy it um we have i'm sure y'all have other podcast business as well but it came to my intention that we failed to include our colleague michael server on podcast business recently server you and your band have a single out what who tell the and it's a good i've listened to the single as well i wouldn't just bring this a podcast business site unheard server tell the people more All right. We can edit this part out. I did submit the check to the shutdown account. So I want to think payola. That's right. And that $42 is cleared. All right. Well, end of the week. Three, two, one. Yeah, the band is Killer Ants. Our new singles call fighting for your life. And we put it out on on Spotify and band camp and all the Amazon and YouTube and all the things

so yeah please go listen to it and Link is in my bio on Twitter X whatever it is and Mona likes it too. Thanks that's a cool song Mona's like yeah you think you think Spencer can sing you should hear my dad

that's right Hey guys want to start a band also in addition to Serber's current band server do you want to be in multiple bands Dog band? Yeah I mean, but the dog will sing. Oh, okay. Yeah, I always wanted to do a party band called Honk, it's your birthday, where we just

played nothing but like but party music, right? What is but party music? Aren't all parties but parties? Same question. Yeah, they'll like, like anything, any, any party song, right? Like whatever party you're at.

Like the black eyed peas or what? Yes, yes. We would do nothing but the stupidest. So you're a wedding band. Yeah, well, you're not quite. What you're describing as a roller rink. A wedding band about, yes, roller rink, roll a rink band.

If you wanted that and you paid us money, we would play it. Why don't you just buy a roller rink? You guys want to buy a roller rink? We'll buy a roller rink. Yeah, there we go. So once Serber song hits the charts, once it gets 9 million Spotify plays, which brings in $17, we will buy a roller rink. Oh, we're getting him $10 million.

We're getting our boy $22. Well, that's $18. $18? Okay. Yeah, we're getting our boy $18. I have found a skating rink for sale in somewhere called, Tryon or Treon, Georgia. It also features a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house.

Nope, I'm out. Convenient. Georgia has so many towns I've never heard of. I'm not sharing a bathroom with y'all. I love you. Where is this? What if it's a short break? Georgia has hurt everyone so badly that you do think it might be Trion, which is what is the most

and we all glossed over it. We're like, we don't want to engage this. Yeah. Prown, Univista. This is about, this looks like it's maybe like an hour cell. of Chattanooga it's it's a little bit north of Rome oh that's Marjorie Taylor Green yeah this I have always wanted to live in Rome by all means Roman holiday too this time it's at the Cabellas I would say that's my least

favorite part of Georgia currently I'm pretty sure my hometown rink is just abandoned and it has a golf cart track outside that descends into like this creepy cudzu forest what's that golf cart wait what's a golf cart track sorry oh okay no I was intrigued it's like go-carts for grandpas any go-kart any track is a golf cart track once you you know

can we can I take a brief diversion to ask you do you think we could ice the rink or ice the floor do you think that's something that we could maybe yeah you just got to pour it

well no you crack the oh god damn it you never knows how to do this okay but you're saying we know someone who could right why do you want to do that because you crank the AC

because the 2026 the problem that you have okay hang on The 2026 Winter Olympics is in trouble because... So bring it to Rome, Georgia. Well, no, there's a link and you're about to see it. The 20206 Winter Olympics has made a $100 million plus miscalculation in the budget. And sliding events have been targeted as the place to cut due to their high cost

and the relatively small number of places to hold them. meaning that the 2026 Olympics, which were going to be hosted not far, too far from Rome in Italy, will instead be contested, could be contested in Lake Placid. Could be. So what I'm saying is that people are like,

oh, well, you don't have them in Lake Placid. What if we had them in the other Rome inside a roller break? I thought you were going to say the other Lake Placid, meaning the Bill Pullman movie about the giant. an alligator. That's always first on my mind. And I think you should just assume that. So if I clarify. Is Bridget Fonda in that?

Did I make that up? Yes, she is. Okay. Cool. And Oliver Platt. There is so much. You remember what happens at the end of that movie, right? No. It turns out that the monster is like the house pet of Betty White. Oh, yeah, yeah. He strolls out onto the end of the dock and just like throws some food

at it like she's feeding the goldfish. Is there other podcast business, we either any of you have before we um just do you all know how hang on i was going back going to go back and explain how a hockey rink is made but i know we're short on time i really am curious but i do want to mention that we did hand out on channel six which is the newsletter that holly and i put together for your reading enjoyment we have a member's piece the bradley van pelt award which we give to the most college football player available uh most years when we don't forget

to do it, which I definitely didn't do last year. David E. Kelly wrote the Lake Placid movie. I forgot about that completely. But it is one of my favorite things we do all year. And if you subscribe and become a member, you can read about, I think, the only choice we had in terms of making the most college football player of 2023. This was the first time where there was just no debate. Usually there's debate amongst our panel and there was none.

I didn't come up with an alternate. Just like, no, a second. Yeah. The, I feel like the more you dug into your, the winner's background, the more confirmation you got that this was. That is correct. Yeah, yeah. Confirmation bias is a gentle, gentle term for what every piece of. It's not confirmation bias if you're right.

Yeah, no. Further verification. I would say that this athlete is responsible for probably my two favorite game results of the past 13 months or so. 14 months and the best running gag in college football it's the best running gag yeah so go ahead channel 6 you can go ahead and subscribe if you know yeah I hear book club does that include podcast business or do we have any more book news from you jason uh uh selling novels brother shipping product i have i'm looking right now at 40 boxes of paperbacks that a large portion of them will be coming to our

live show in Atlanta the others we will be shipping out and paperbacks have been purchased elsewhere as well they're still available at Amazon have you signed hard covers I'll say on here that we're gonna have about a hundred more of those available so if you want one don't delay and we will get those shipped out as well as soon as we can hooray those are at shut down full books.com that concludes podcast business it's time to begin the four from 40. Holly, where are we starting? Why asking me? Because you wrote the list.

I wrote the list in chronological order. I know. You are the key of the timekeeper. You are the keeper of the list. You are Kang the Conqueror. We named you the commission before we started. Okay, fine. We are starting. As all good things start, we're starting in murder.

We're starting in the cradle of life, America's Mesopotamia. All right. I have a small qualm tissue there. We're not starting at Myrtle Beach. We're starting in Conway, South Carolina. which is not in Myrtle Beach proper. Brutal. Thank you. This is called the Myrtle Beach Bowl, but it's like 20 minutes away from the beach. Like, it's not at the beach.

It's a dude golf trip. Greater, Myrtle, Meadow, Metro area bowl. Yes, yes. We have the Myrtle Beach Bowl at bright and early in the morning on Saturday, December 16th in Brook Stadium. Do you know who Brooks Stadium is named after? I do not. Brook Stadium is named after, I forget his first name. Mill.

It's not Garth. It's not Garth. That would be awesome. It is named after not the founder of Hooters, but the brave man in South Carolina who saw the Hooters model in Florida, because Hooters was originally just like a chain of like five restaurants in Tampa and St. Pete. But this man saw that and said, I want to acquire that and take it worldwide. All of the dumb shit that Hooters did, Hooters Air, Hooters Credit Card, all that.

This man, Mr. Brooks, he is the one who brought all of that to life. So as much as Hooters feels like, oh, what a tacky Florida brand, it's really in many ways to tackle tacky Myrtle Beach Brook. So this is the Apostle Paul of Hooters. Yes, who spread the gospel of Hooters. His first letter to the Myrtle Beachians. That's right. That's right. Okay.

What can y'all tell me about the Myrtle Beach Bowl? I can tell you my favorite thing that I've learned in extensive research on this is that If you go to the Ohio Bobcat alumni pep rally before the game, okay, that for $25, you will get two drink tickets for those above 21, and you will also get what is, and I quote, a meal including heavy hors d'oeuvres. I like that they put up the word. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What do we think that means a normal amount of hors d'oeuvres, but they are incredibly dense?

Does that mean meals? Heavy orders. There's a little bit of dark matter in this particular. No one knows how it works. It's going to hurt to poop, just so you know. Also, they're very specific that open fires are forbidden. Not cooking with gas or anything. No, open fires are forbidden and the Ohio tailgate.

Coutts. Not the Georgia Southern one, though, because you can't tell me shit. Open fires are required. Yeah. We'll have extra fires. Holly and Jason, what can you tell me about the Myrtle Beach Bowl? Myrtle Beach Bowl website, Things to Do. I already know.

That just takes you to the Myrtle Beach site. Yeah. It bails on that immediately. They just passed off the homework. The number one museum in Myrtle Beach is the pinball museum. So Bobcats and Eagles, if you're in the area, stop by to look at video games we played before videos were invented. Holly, may I ask something of you? Will you go?

No. Okay. No, you may not. Spencer may ask something of you. Fire away. We go to the Myrtle Beach Bowl merch webpage, and will you please find the FAQ? I am looking. The Myrtle Beach Bowl shop.

Oh, look at this. Look at this. Apparel items. Apparel items. Looking at FAQ. Help and FAQ. Customer service. I just noticed a stain on the back of the hoodie I purchased.

This is the FAQ. This is the exact. All right. So there are three FAQs. There are three frequently asked questions. This is the third of them. Please read it. I just noticed a stain on the back of my, the hoodie I purchased.

Can I return it for one that isn't damaged? Yes, certainly. We'll be happy to exchange it. Now, I want to know how many times they, damn it, Roscoe, quit bleeding. on the hoodies. It's not, I want to be clear. The other two FIQs are very standard, like, how long does it take my order to shit? If I saw something at the game that I couldn't buy, can I buy it online? And then the third one, which is very specific, which is about, I got a

hoodie, not another item, not any other item, whatever. I got a hoodie with a stain on it. What will you do about this? And they have decided that they got so many emails and phone calls about stained hoodies that they had to respond and admit that this question was indeed frequently asked. Yeah. Disgusting. Do you think this was maybe like one person asked

and the person who was responsible for responding couldn't figure out how to access email so they're just like, fuck it, I'll post it. They'll find it. I mean, that is one way to fix it. In case anyone else asks.

All right. Does anybody have anything else to share with us about the Myrtle Beach Bowl? As a venue? Anything. George, Southern score much. Score much, not good defense.

Ohio, not score much, very good defense. There, there's your. Something's got to give. Something's got to give. And my guess is it's going to be Georgia Southern because Ohio's not going to let you score, buddy. Okay. It's not happening. Next, it's not on our list, but let's talk briefly about the Celebration Bowl,

which is also on the 16th in the city of Atlanta featuring, oh, let me ask. Do you know who's playing in the Celebration Bowl? this year. FAMU and Howard. Correct. The weird thing we should acknowledge, so this is the game that features the Miak and Swack Champions

and has, I think, for some time. That is a situation that has gotten increasingly strange as the Swack, I believe, has poached several Miac members, and now Florida A&M, winners of the Swack with an 8-0 conference record, 11 and 1 overall.

I think they're like number 5 or 6. uh in the fcs rankings plays six and five howard who won the six team meyak the swag has 12 teams but we get to do this all the same it's fine just it's just it's just weird it's not i'm not saying it's bad it's just weird it's a great game it's a wonderful environment um it's good to attend good to watch but yeah conference re alignment has has done a bit of a number in this game north carolina a and t who won it three times possibly it's off the top of my head i might have the number wrong but they're in a different conference now so it's things are a bit up in the air for this game but it's almost guaranteed to be an enjoyable watch yeah florida and by the way here after a while

last year it's their first 10 win season since like 1999 and they had uh they had to suspend all football activities in the 2023 preseason because of an what is an i quote an unauthorized locker room video shoot by rapper real boston richie it happens that's That happens. That happens. Howard's football coach has connections to both the University of Florida and the University of Tennessee. Does anybody know who it is? No.

It's Larry Scott. Huh. Not that Larry Scott. He's back. Fortunately. Correct. Who coached tight ends under Dan Mullen for a little bit and was the OC. at Tennessee for a little bit under Butch Jones.

We love those names. Real quick, let's also run through a few others. Wednesday night, East Mississippi versus Iowa Western. FCS semifinals, Friday and Saturday, Albany, probably a 7,000-point underdog against South Dakota State, as well as North Dakota State against our beloved Montana. Good luck. Good luck, Montana. Have you all been watching the FCS playoffs much?

Montana's games, yes. I've been watching that, or if anything happens, the Kibi Dome. Yes. FCS playoffs have been great. Just, that's all. Just delightful. Even South Dakota State. Villanova gave him a good game, despite SDSU being absolutely monstrous.

D3 title game North Central versus Sunni Cortland and D2 title game, Mines versus Harding. Now we're all caught up. Okay. Uh, last call for celebration, both thoughts. In the NFL, there is no margin for error. One mistake can change the outcome of the game. Science proves quality sleep can help boost reaction time, recovery time, and overall athletic performance. As the official sleep wellness partner of the NFL, sleep numbers mission is to provide players with data and insights to optimize their sleep for the ultimate competitive edge.

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Next up, the R&L Carriers Nallens Ball. When you need your R's and L's carried, call R&L Carried. This has ended up being a really long-running sponsor for this game. This felt like one that would you know, but

they've been with this since 2006, after their first few sponsors dropped out really quickly. That is, that is meaningful relationship you're right yeah this is by the way where louisiana plays this is where this is where the raging cajans go this is their seventh new orleans bowl seven that's so many that's this many this ball this ball has not been around that long right seven's yeah seventh since 2011 in fact yeah so so uh basically they don't have to be told anything they're they're like no we have

keys we will let ourselves in we'll let ourselves out um it is funny the watching the attendance like if you charted it based on whether they're there or not like the one two three four five looks like six most attended editions have featured them five or six so yeah there's a reason they keep coming back who are they playing uh they are playing the jacksonville state game cox that is correct in year one in FBS Rich Rodriguez has them

bowl eligible and we're grateful to teams like you know all the five and seven teams for allowing this to happen so

great job Gators for allowing Jacksonville State to participate thank you Florida thank you a lot of the Big Ten West thank you Florida again

let's just keep mentioning them always thank you yes so many things Thanks to Florida. Thank you for not winning a six game. I won't watch that shit. Let's see. Who's the most five and seven team?

Of the current five and seven teams? Yeah. Wow. TCU is the highest rated in the power ranking. So TCU is the most five and seven team. That's unfortunate. By the way, if you would like to reserve your spot, you can attend yoga in the dome,

which is going to happen before the game you can go ahead and sign up you will get in addition to the yoga session you will get one ticket to the R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl a special event t-shirt and post-event refreshments let me tell you if I am eating like I eat in New Orleans the last thing I want to do is a deep side bend that's going to be some catastrophic noises occurring on that field

You show up early to the Myrtle Beach Bull Tailgate, eat them heavy hors d'oeuvres. Heavy orders. Then you go, then you go fart up the, fart up the Superdome. But, brother, there's not a ceiling high enough. There is not. There's no way you can lay the nastiest fart in Superdome history. Like, that competition has to be so, so challenging. That goes to Willard.

Jenkins, Willard Jenkins of Section 34A, who hospitalized 19 people in 2008 when after a heavy meal of oysters, milk, and Chipotle, you walked into the dome and laid his masterpiece upon them. Saw the Saints lose by 17 and farted a fart that's never been equal. There's a banner up and everything for it. They upset me so much, I had no choice. Stigbo Willard. Morton Anderson has, you know, the stomach of someone from Europe who then became acclimated to Cajun food. I would imagine his digestive tract has done some incredible things. So I'm going to say a sleeper for Best Fart in Superdome Mystery. Every kick, he let one out.

He did. It was the source of his power. Yeah, an equal and opposite reaction. He might have the greatest accent in all of sports. Danish Georgia Cajun So we For the New Orleans Bowl We are going

Once going twice It's old It's the bowl that also Kind of sounds like a sentence The avocados from Mexico Cure Bowl Othercados are They're good for you, right?

I don't think they cure bowl But I have This is the most core dot com title it really is I have I have all the organic cure

cora.com says amicados from Mexico cure bowl um this game is in Orlando but it is not where the pop tart and cheese at citrus bowl it's going to fuck me up

all all season it's at UCF's first Baptist church mortgage studio and this also features some one team that's very mean i don't know how we feel about the second one i would say both i think i think both we have i think this is um as we've discussed this is a midwestern group of guys versus a southern program so i think i think we have the this this is a very very good game in my opinion miami of ohio playing appalachian state this is this is quite possibly the game of the day on Saturday.

Yeah, I think that probably holds. Yeah, Miami's very mean. How's this? They're very offensively unambitious. Hell yes. I love that every time there's a team like that, just like, obstruct, obstruct and delay. A team that just would prefer not to. That's what we love.

I just see a big intestinal. obstruction of a team and I start smiling. What are you going to say, Rand? Nothing. Good, because this is what this game is all about, not doing a damn thing. Don't like it when stuff happens. I love that this game is on ABC. So the whole country gets to watch.

Yeah, including Appalachian State, who has had just the weirdest year. Maybe not the weirdest year, but 80 years. No, Boise State's weird. We're going to get to Boise State. Their year is much weirder. App State, I mean, like, just so many close losses. Almost beat UNC again. Almost beat Wyoming.

Almost beat Coastal. Almost beat Old Dominion. Did beat JMU. It almost fucked it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so close to a season up to their standards. But it's still a really good team. just like

this is this feels like given that by the way I can see why you're going game of the day for that because I'm like it's app they're going to play it like super fucking close yeah I mean yeah

and like their records are far apart 11 and 2 8 and 5 but uh apps favored oh okay yeah yeah see talk about respect um all right

going once going twice the is letter i apologize if i fucked that up new mexico bowl in well without giving too much away what what city is this in spencer and holly i don't want i don't want the actual name of the city i want the new name of the city what the new name it's not an albuquerque we're not calling it that anymore you're going to have to leave this bull by the ring in my nose buddy to get there it's in it's in the post about your BVP winner

oh thank you sorry I want of several minutes ago that's right it's no longer Albuquerque thank you for leading me that leading me to that Ryan wouldn't have

it's Alba crazy that's right hometown of Diego Pavia who doesn't call it Las Cruces either he calls it the Bruce's which I don't know because bros less

I don't know Anyway Al McRazy is the home of the New Mexico Bowl And New Mexico State's playing In this bowl game That is correct That is by the way

This is going to be The 15th game Of New Mexico State's season The 15th Because they got the Hawaii Exemption to play 14 games this year Because do you know Who loves football more than you

that's right Jerry Kill they were like do you want a 14th game and he's like hell yes brother where is it he didn't even ask that question he just signed for it he's like fuck it we're doing it 14 games this will be their 15th this is a 10 win New Mexico State

it is their first double digit win season since 1960 when they were playing some like teams from Mexico like literally they played a team from Mexico to get to a 11 wins. New Mexico State's awesome. They're just, they're 100% awesome. One of the better stories in college football this year. And that's, that's fun to say because like the other team is

pretty cool too. Fresno State is also fascinating to me. I mean, you play 15 games. You're evidently you were in the in the playoff or something. Like to go to go 14 to 1.15 and know that's how you win the national title these days. So Mexico State must be right up there. A very evenly matched game. These teams are basically tied in lots of power ratings. So let's call this another Game of the day contender. Fresno State famously, maybe not famously,

has two wins over power five teams this year. They beat Purdue and they beat Arizona State and those are technically Power 5 teams and you can't say that or not. Yeah, yeah, that is how conferences work. And whatever happened after that is not your business and I think you should shut up about it.

Hush now. Love this game. this matchup, love, you know, as everyone calls it, Alba Crazy. Alba, Alba crazy. It's going to be good. I have nothing, I have nothing negative to say about this bowl whatsoever. Okay. How about the Starco Brands L.A. Bowl presented by Gronk. What is Starco? That's a great question. That feels like a very, like, DC, DC Comics, like, Evil Weapons manufacturer. Starkoverands identifies

white spaces across consumer product categories. That doesn't mean. Good fucking luck with guessing what that means. Okay, hold on. Can you identify a white space across gronk? It's all thanks white space. Look at him. From commodity pan spray, both oil

and water to high hand bag on valve cooking oils to sprayable balsamic vinaigrettes. Our USDA facility has the most diverse offering in the industry. Yeah, you know, If you search Starco, the second result is some couple that people want to get together from some cartoon. Starco, let me tell you, Starco on their own website sponsors at least six things that convince me this is money laundering.

Are you ready? Here we go. Starco says that they brought the movie going experience home with the first indulgent theater popcorn taste powered by air. They also sponsored Cardi B. alcoholic whipped cream which was the only alcoholic whipped cream on the market

they sponsored the they sponsored Soylent which if you're familiar is the plant-based food technology company that is just for people who don't want to eat they just want to drink sure yeah

Soilent so most of this sounds like shit made up by Gronk himself not the last one because Grong loves to eat yeah but you go to Gronk and go alcoholic whipped cream he's like oh yeah brother it's like well i'm from arizona so yes let us spread the food of my people elsewhere like this this is whipits the company right it's basically yeah this is entertainment 720 this is completely this is a company that is figured out like 18 different ways to sell you air this is prestige worldwide the

poll game um wide wide wide uh boy UCLA what what what I love I love that that downer from talking about the stupid sponsor to talking about UCLA yeah UCLA in the time from beating USC to now it has been not a very fun time to be a UCLA fan most of them lost your defensive coordinator across town had the best recruit in program history or the best quarterback recruit in program history enter the portal just like lost a cow cow putting cal a bowl game like you're responsible for that UCLA you did that and now remember that now you have to play boise state on ABC everyone's going to see it if you beat them it'll be like oh you beat a you beat a an eight and five team from the mountain west but you my might not beat them and then you lost to Boise State and then you lost to a non-power team which is fine you can do that but you're not going to feel good about it

it would feel a lot better if Boise State's record wasn't so gross but unfortunately for you Boise State's record is gross yep so also Boise State's QB just transferred to Arkansas like I don't know this is weird this is you're going Jason's doing nice things like oh let's pick a game that's competitive

and good this will be a great game I'm going to pick the one that you're like what am I watching good God this one when they come on and you watch both teams and you go, everything happening is profoundly confusing and no one seems like they want to be here and then they'll go to the sideline

and they'll flash the gronk and he'll be like, it's alcoholic with free! Yeah, this thing's fucking weird. This also reminds me it feels like I should say something nice about USC with like two good defensive coordinator-ish hires. It's like stealing UCLA's

and taking North Dakota states head coach. Either one of those moves would have been like, damn, okay, but both. I mean, it raises the question of like, you might have too many good defensive coaches now, but that's certainly better than what you had before. So nice things about USC period has ended. Okay. Any other thoughts on the Starco Brand's alcoholic air grok bowl?

The fakes bowl so far. I'm sure we will find many more that sound far faker, but this is a high. bar all right the radiance technology's independence bowl speaking speaking of companies for you know this is a recurring sponsor right I think since 2020 and it's like it's like weird military shit or something yeah radiance is the one that advertises like we do various things including uh we're including surveillance yeah we do we do corporate and infrastructure and information and technology and and drones leverage.

Yeah. We'll help you identify assets in the developing world and beam them out without ever having to speak to a local from space. Colonialism. With giant claws. Online.

They're the ones who have a header that just says cyber like this. Oh, right. Yes. This is just the metal. The, the capabilities are intelligence, cyber, directed energy, which is fucking terrifying. It's like beam weapons?

AI slash ML, which I'm assuming is machine learning. Hypersonics and space. This sounds like Ultron is what I'm hearing. Yeah, this is like, this is like Captain Planet but bad. Captain, fuck the planet. Heart, wind, cyber,

hypersonics, AIML. This does leave open the possibility that we'll get the CEO announcement from Chairman revolver oscelot right hello viewer you may feel safe

what is outer heaven if not an independence bowl literally what they are doing in this game is constructing a bowl independent from somewhere

far from government oversight aka Shreveport finally a bowl for soldiers that's all I've ever It will find us here all I care about are my 35 huskies Like even the names in this game Hello red raider

Hello golden bear So the Metal Gear Independence Bowl Happening in a soldier's natural paradise This is the game of the day It'll still be going at midnight on the East Coast This is good good shit I think this is going to be exquisite shit

Texas Tech completely unpredictable team but has carried a number of games into the fourth quarter what they do with them after the 10 minute mark that's nobody's business they're going to get there

I would also like to point out that what is the twin city remember Metal Cure is always about like twins and brothers right Shreveport has a twin brother a shadow brother named what big boss of your city

that's right that's right boss seer city what's more big boss than big boss somewhere somewhere Stephen Godfrey is furious at this pronunciation

we know that's not how you say it stop emailing our mothers in church it's how you say it in a metal game we know that's not how you say it I'm just going to go a mile down the river and start bossiest city.

What now? I'm going to start Punished Snake City. Punish snakes got to be at San Antonio. Yeah. So we have Grand Theft Auto, Florida. We need Metal Gear Louisiana.

All I want is fall out. Sure. Oh my God. Metal Gear Louisiana where you can just like, you know what? If I could fault an extraction, in Louisiana. That'd be amazing. You're like, what are you going to do? I got 40 pounds

of crawfish. It looks like I'm going to tie it to a balloon and send it in the space. This is just how towing works in Louisiana in the metal gear universe. Yeah, bogged out here. To the big Copeland's in the sky. That's it. Yeah, that's it. We're named, it's not big boss. It's big owl. Big Al.

Big ass. Yeah, big ass. It's like seven guys called Big ass. No one really knows which is which and which is a clone of which and which is who's dad and whatever. And then there's the ass, which is different from big ass. And that's, it's a woman and it's very feminist. She's like the ultimate in charge of all of them. Yes, correct.

Yeah. Oh, boy. I feel like we've explored all of the possibilities here. Toilet snake. Making the Hideo Kojima bowl. Spicy snake. All right. Let's move on to the famous.

Toastery bowl. How famous could it be, really? Man, what? No, okay, hang on. Okay, all right. Lay some Carolina. Checking.

We hit Carolina territory here. Famous toastery is a North Carolina thing. It's specifically a Charlotte thing. So I'm also coming to the fence of Michael Felder here at In The Bleachers on Twitter.com, which is how you navigate to that site in which what it's called. Um, but there's also one here at Winston Salem that's like got a rooftop situation. That is super, uh, fucking cool. And yeah, it's,

pretty awesome. How is the toast? It's fine. There is, in fact, a place in Winston called the deserterery. That's better for fridge toast, but it's, I mean, it's pretty good. And it's fucking wild that they have a bowl and shows how little it costs to actually get one. Well, I would like to, I would like to shout out any Carolina's listeners and rally us around either a Dario Bowl or, a cookout bowl next year because if we can fucking famous toaster you can get one the cookout can most certainly get a bowl so the circumstances matter here because this was and will be again the bahamas bowl the bahamas bowl could not be played in the bahamas because they're renovating that stadium the renovations weren't going to be done in time so this moved to jerry r richerson assless stadium where little ass little ass stadium where which is yeah not where the panthers play right where the charlotte

People have reached out to me. Yes, this is not a bank for America. Yes, this is a little-ass stadium. Whose stadium is that? The University of Charlottes. Oh, okay. Yeah. And as a result of that, I think that's why Famous Toastery got this, because that decision

didn't happen until either the very beginning of the season or right before. So I think the famous toastery got a deal because it was like, oh, we need somebody quick. who has $50,000 I appreciate you pontificating on behalf of Big Bowl season Ryan but we're coming for you and we're going to have a cookout bowl Oh, to be clear

I don't want to stand in the way of a cookout bowl Like that is the thing that should be in Conway You'd have to sell 100,000 hot dogs for that $50,000 fee I was going to say the cookout bowl if they get it This is what the cookout bowl's got to be y'all Okay, you got to be able Remember we were talking about what you get when you get the

heavy hors d'oeuvres of the Ohio it's a cookout tray call it the cookout tray not the bowl you go to the cookout bowl here's what you're getting okay you're going to go ahead and get a full tray I'm not talking that single shit I'm talking a full deluxe okay you get a full deluxe tray you get

one ticket all right you'll get a seat cushion because you're going to need some cushioning the ticket is actually a cassidia the seat cushion is a cassidia you're going to get a tiny miniature Jerry Richardson flat ass that's also a caseadia It's also, that's a, um, a cheese.

That's a corn dog. A chicken dog. It's a corn dog. You're going to get a Jerry Richardson shaped corn dog. Disgusting. Okay. Which is also a corn dog shaped Jerry Richardson. And, and, and,

this tastes like workplace harassment. Yeah. And you're going to get a parking pass and it's going to cost $9.99. Parking pass is also a case to deal. It is also a case to Dia. $9.99. The cookout bowl has to like, apparently, it has to look like you're like, no way, no way they're making money on this.

The bathrooms at the cookout bowl, milkshakes. Everything is milkshake in the plummet. Everything is mint popcorn, banana pudding, cheer wine. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's it.

It's got to be $9.99. Man, if they convert this, like, the list of sponsors in this game is already legendary. You can already put this up against anyone. You start off with the Popeye's Bahamas Bowl. The most beautiful sounding event in football history.

Then you go to the Elk Grove Village, Illinois, makers wanted Bahamas bowl. The different city, nowhere near the Bahamas country, the different region. And then, and then now, go to the Bahamas, Bahamas Bowl. And then now it's the Bahamas Charlotte Bowl by famous toast street. And if we can pivot, if we can go from Popeye's to cookout, then that is a damn feast. It will also, like, if we can make this the cookout trip. in Jerry Richardson Stadium, that will also torture his ghost in hell

because he made his money from Hardee's, right? Yeah, yeah, maybe Shoney's too. Yeah, so if we get a competitor up in here, oh, it's going to drive Jerry's fucking crazy. Do the right thing, cookout. So what if it becomes the Charlotte Bowl in the Bahamas and we send them a cookout as they thank you for all their hard work in giving us.

Can we get that many casidias on a boat? I'm sorry, is this not, is this or is this not the cookup? Let me be bro. The boat is a cascadia. Yeah. Oh my God.

The whales have found the boat. This is what they wanted the whole time. This is our peace offering to the orcas. They will now leave us alone as long as we. The orcas have eaten the cassidia boat and they have left the plane. at it. They said thank you. As long as we pay them a tribute

every December 16th. Giant Casedia Boat. During the Charlotte Bahamas, Illinois Bowl. Between Western Kentucky should win this game. There. Western Kentucky and ODU.

Yeah, they're playing Old Dominion. Yeah. O'DU's favorite. West Kentucky is better. Spencer has decreed WQ. I decree by the, by the measurables, they're better. Okay.

Like wins? rankings wins okay cool fair enough that's it's an upset pick folks um all right this is the last bowl

of the first edition of the 40 for 40 the scooters coffee fresco bowl yeah by the way scooter's motto be amazing

don't demand things yeah don't demand things of me scooters who is it's coffee man I don't need it to be amazing I need it to be coffee They seem to be there and hot

They're also very gronk coated Because they do sell a t-shirt on the website That says Big Dreams of whipped cream And again, Gronk's like Whip cream? That is all I dream about You know you can't drive with that Gronk

It's not a drink That's like the kind of shirt That you see an action hero where after like their clothes have been bloodied and they have to like grab something from from a tourist stand somewhere and then you see them for the next action scene beating some man to death at a big dreams of whipped cream t-shirt I so specific in that I think you're right yeah yeah you're totally right uh scooters is a chain I have never seen in my life so we are approaching another new piece of territory here let's see scooters coffee location There's one in Rossville. There's one of Marietta. It's close.

Oh, there's one in Brantwood. It looks like I'm going Brantwood. Go to scooters. Wait, retail. I love that now that you moved to Middle Tennessee, you can fucking nail this accent. They have retail locations. Does that mean like you can buy boxes and boxes of it?

I guess so. Yeah, because it says you can buy at-home coffee. Why not? Yes. A lot of a lot of drive-thru kiosks. that kind of place it is kids items

kids caffeine kids love coffee kids love coffee okay it's like it's like smoothies and shit listen you put a little red wine in the coffee they love it seriously man they'll wait for it like dogs

Italian style Italian that's so right we call that a Milano because our kids are very confused sleepy UTSA favored by two touchdowns over Marshall. And this is on a Tuesday night. It was Marshall's coach recently who was like, is it his quarterback who's transferring?

And he was like, yeah, it's because y'all suck. Y'all are mean. His quarterback's leaving. And he said, well, everyone here hates him and they don't give him any money. Of course he's leaving. Thank you, coach. Calling it, how you see it. The transfer portal has really made coaches.

Like, I think it's because of when it happens, it's the end of the season. When they're all tired. Yes, they're all cranky. Their families are like, hey, it's, you should actually pay fucking attention to us. Like, the holidays are here. They're like, don't have to re-recruit our fucking linebackers. So they don't go at the portal. And I'm all, I'm all bad mood about it.

There are, and they're like, I got to, I got to replace my wide receivers coach. I got to, I got, I, I, I, I, it's the middle of recruiting. I got to do a fucking bowl game parade. I got to, I got to go to charlors events. Yep. Yeah, Jeff Traylor, by the way, reacted to the transfer of his best defender, Tram Moore, their sacks leader. They reacted by, he's saying, well, you know, it's a new world. I now hear this with clenched teeth and tears in their eyes, right?

Like, every time a coach says this, they hear them with the, it's the meme with the mask over the crying face. That's what I hear every time. Well, it's a new world. God damn it. like once you realize crankiness is at the heart of it most of these comments make more sense when you're just so tired you don't want to deal with this yeah we're just gonna you know we you know we can portal too

and we've got good players here and inside they're just like seething seething somebody somebody needs a scooters and a toastery I think meanwhile the New York Times are just like yep we don't need no transfer portal We got it only right here. We brought Italy to New Jersey. We got a freaking Italian guy. That's our whole personality now. What did you get in the portal?

A guy in a weird hat. He came with a quarterback. The driving crooner. He's got a bunch of cousins. That's it. That's the whole show. That's the whole thing. Is he good?

He beat the Packers. Hey! Does he have a dad? Find him in the stands. Hey! See, it's so much better to be a NFL. Look at Mommy Davido. To be an NFL coach and make people happy,

all you have to do is be like, here's our Italian guy, Canoli. And to be a college coach, you got to be like, well, we got to, oh, transfer portal. Yeah, I don't have any comment on the latest lawsuit against that scene. I'm like, oh, God. And your backup quarterback when your college coach

is like, it's some ass. He's been here for four years and won't leave. Whereas the NFL, it's like, we found this guy yesterday. The Giants don't even have a good record. It's not even like the, it's like, oh, shit. They've won three in a row to ascend to five and eight. Right. Yeah.

You want to know why this dumb ass get, you know what these dumb asses get away with it? Because they could pay their players with money. Because they can write them with check. That's how they end up looking brilliant, right? We were watching Dolphins Titans last night. And on one drive, they just kept targeting the one cornerback who sucked. That's it.

They threw the ball at him four times. And, like, the announcers are like, the mind genius of Mike McDaniel here. They're just, we're doing what you do on Madden. Like, that sucks. Here, X, X, X. That's great. Sponsored by Scooter's Coffee. Scooter's coffee.

I don't know. UTSA, probably. Yeah, probably. Probably. Which in bowl season means definitely not. Who knows? Yeah. betting on bowls is a horrid idea one of the worst it's it's only gotten more horrid as

yes okay because now you're like well UCLA's coming with 23 guys and two coaches no one what happens has any quarterbacks which you'd think would favor certain teams who is it is it two lane that it's like oh yeah the whole staff is left like that's a bowl game they're going to have to coach, and it's like, I don't know. Can we get a parent in here with some orange slices who can run a position meeting? Can James, can James come by? It's not doing much. Hey, if you go to Frisco, by the way, you can go to the National Video Game Museum, which is Frisco is home to the national. That's where we put it? But that's not the same as the pinball museum. No, no, but you can play giant pong. Isn't that tennis?

Yes, Ryan. see what I get for trying to talk up there's going to Silicon Valley has invented tennis disrupted the bowls by inventing a game where we invite two teams to play in a stadium that isn't theirs

isn't that a bowl game and it will be named after a sandwich we've invented which contains fried chicken stop We're going to be able to be. I'm .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . I'm not happy that Arby's isn't into hamburgers. We don't have to put this in the episode, but I'm not happy about it.

You think it should only be like sliced meats? Yeah, I think like, I think you should like know what you're good at and stick good. It's a relative term here. Relatively good, relatively good. Yeah. Did you feel this way about when they introduced, like, breaded chicken? That was different because I was like, that, they saw the panic. Like, everybody was doing chicken.

And they were like, we can't be the only ones not doing chicken. Let me tell you, though, I did miss the days when you could go and completely practice muscle confusion on your body at Arby's by ordering, like, what do you want? A Jomoka shake. Uh-huh. And the curly fries with the weird shit that irritates people with IBS's pals. Yeah. So I want those And I want a giant

Then what do you want on the roast beef? Do you just want like ketchup? No, what a dry? Horse radish. Or can you just put a bunch of horseradish on there? That's going to go with the Jemoka real well. And then how do you want to top that off? A turnover.

I want a goddamn raspberry. It's an extremely grandpa coated Fast food rest. I don't have some fucking mozzarella sticks. You know what I can go more as hot roast beef. And they got marinera. I want a second. full of a disastrous

poisonous medieval meal, the kind that would kill 83 nobles one winter's eve because it was kept at an unsafe temperature. I want the pallet of 1923 put in a fucking paper bag I want to sleep hard one way or the other. Oh, I can eat it inside

an old Toyota pickup truck while I smoke. How many sandwiches do you want? I want five sandwiches. How much you want to pay for them? I'll give you five fucking dollars. You want random fucking cheese put on those fries? Yeah.

Give me a separate. You know what? You know what? I want some liquid cheese on my roast beef too. Yeah. Do you know what I want? I want some horrible old British rail accident of a meal just compacted into my stomach in the span of eight horrible minutes.

You know what goes best on. Beef is shit that's orange. Yeah. Because R. RB stands for real bitches. And I am one. you give me a minor's dream meal from 1933 you make sure it's lukewarm as fuck and you put it right in my hands