Shutdown Fullcast - 2025 First College Football Playoff Rankings Analysis feat. Donkeymind ™

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

The crew celebrates the Feast of Saint Jelly RollTrue-life country songsIs ham a "light meat"? We debate, you decideDo horses move? Asking for one of our hostsSpencer welcomes a new addition to the familyThe long-awaited sequel to Business PrisonPlus! The Week 11 slate of games, even the ones in the ACCThis episode produced by Michael Ray SurberShutdown Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Christian AshlockDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it's notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason's critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz and his new show PodcasterinoNow through December 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to Trans Ohio. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase exclusive PTKU Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-branded loot

Here at Florida, we are not addicted to success. That's why we invented Gatorade. Wash your success away with Gatorade, so you don't have to worry about that. That's right. Oh, we got to protect our record. No, you don't. Instead of disappointment, you have an appointment with Gatorade. With Gatorade. With Dr. Gatorade.

Wash your tears and your fears and your dreams away with a big old glug of Gatorade. can make math from it. I like that we have a subset of the audience who's now decided server's jelly roll is more canonical than jelly rolls jelly roll. Oh, I'm in that. The audience, this is a subset of the host on this show. I could not tell you a single name of a jelly roll song or anything about him. Everything I know about him is seen guy on TV and other than that server is jelly roll.

I'm heartbroken over ridiculousness Also whatever he's saying I'm a jelly roll truther at this point If he's even real Like I've seen the face But if he's even real Whatever he's coming up with Could not possibly improve

Upon what Serber has been treating us to That's true Absolutely not Serber would you say That you indeed are the real jelly roll At this point and the original is but an imposter. Hell yeah, brother.

He wasn't under the bridge in Richland County brewing himself his homemade gatorade out of battery acid and fruit roll-ups, was he? Maybe it's that jelly roll is like poet laureate where you can't be born it. It is a title and you could retain it, but it also can be transferred to others. I'm like the dread pirate Roberts, but jelly roll.

like uh yeah like server has become has taken the captain america shield of yeah that's right that's right look at me think i'm just looking for like an actual an actual pirate who is jelly roll right like i was eight buckets of pine needles to keep from getting scurvy i married octopus it did work well it did for a little while me eight arms no heart I get it

I think certain things happen to you and you're like your jelly roll probably starts to speak to you a little bit not there yet I don't want you there

not with that attitude not if you keep refusing to do drugs let me cradle you in my arms just one time all eight of them I'm secret octopus jelly

roll. I'm the country music Goro. It won't cost much, just your voice. My body is gelatinous just like my name. When I feel threatened I shoot ink on the parts. God, it's the only strength of power I really want. Then I look at the notepad in my

hands and discover the ink has formulated itself into lyrics that speak to the truths. Another CMA for this octopus. I just farted out another Grammy. Think about it. I was drinking drain water out of above ground pools to survive.

And now I'm at Fan Fest. There I was. Signing some girls' tits. Front row at Friday night Smackdown when I farted and looked down and saw another chart topper. Behold my glorious beak as I sing to you. called that a shart topper let's see this dude is from

Nashville okay this is from Antioch this is like the third fact I've ever learned about him which like now you know what that means Ryan you're like here's from Anniok yeah this guy man it's

this guy literally has a song called I am not okay and I'm still just not interested in listening to it at all listen there's always been always been a jelly roll in Nashville always and there always will be there will I was next to this guy when I when Opry land was open and had its own exciting water feature its own kind of white water feature when it was a theme park and not a mall gotcha right not a mall when it was actually theme park and I was next to this guy and I looked over and he's got a mullet he's got a pair of like

wrap around shades like the not the not my president ones right And he's got the sleeveless shirt. And at the time, I want to say it was a Judas pre shirt, but that may be my mind fucking for me. Right? It was in that category. He was probably like, that Rob Halford gets so many chicks, dude. I don't know how it happens. And he was wearing a pair of cut off jeans shorts.

And I know they were cut off because on his thigh. Because he did it in front of you. He did. He was like, hold on. I got to get my sea legs ready. And on his thigh, he had tattooed the words, and they were hand drawn, friend. I don't mean in a font that looked hand drawn. I mean, somebody hammered this out with ink, a nail, and a hammer, right?

And it said, pleasure pony across it. Yeah, man. All right. This is an important question that you may not remember because it was so long ago. was that visible was that meant to be read by the jelly roll or someone approaching the jelly roll i will say this you mean he should put it backwards like ambulance no no no no wasn't if like who was he looked down and it would read to him or did it read was it flipped so it was upside down is it a reminder or an announcement that's right it was it was it was customer facing

got's even better because then it's like he just drew it yeah yeah like I used to draw my legs all the time in class so it looked like that it was it was it was a top down to where someone approaching yeah would view it as this is a message for me here we're fending off an aerial attack warning warning pleasure pony did we tell you all about my husband that my new husband at the hospital is he also a jelly roll kind of okay maybe that I can't remember I literally can't remember if I told you this you put it I I remember you put it on blue sky. Oh, never mind. The hearse? Yeah. No, no, no, no, not the hearse.

The guy with the conversion van with the back. The conversion van. Sorry, yeah. I have so many husbands. I think in my mind I converted it to a hearse because I was like that might be where that goes. No, we saw what did we, we saw a hearse in South Carolina that was not teal but was like Ravens Purple and had a shit ton of Baltimore stickers all over it. Yeah. Is it the worst answer to is that a hearse not yet?

I don't know a long enough time line. That could be a jelly roll song right there, too. Yeah. We're all hurses eventually. I love this hearse. Was whiskey for my men, beer for my hurses? What's mine is hurs? Damn, damn.

We're all just like trying, and then the real jelly roll of beers. The true king reemerges. It's an interesting. It's a gift. It's a gift to be, you know, here, like, just squeaking around on our little violence. And then here comes yo-yo-ma over here in the corner. Just like, oh, oh, y'all want a Brandenberg concerto? Let me break this off for you. I mean, we always reinvent. We always find the need to reinvent country music because you're like, oh, there's still people going broke and making mistakes.

Right? Right. Are there people who are broke making mistakes and want to laugh about it? Yeah. It's just, just do country music. We used to have America's funniest home videos for that, but we've strayed from the past. What would, what would, what would some true life country song titles from y'all's lives or your family's lives be?

Oh, boy. I was trying to think if there was one that was actually, pardon me, I've got someone to kill, if you count them cousins, yeah. Which is a real, song by Johnny Paycheck. If we're counting because, oh, no, I mean, like, what are some country song titles that you could make to tell stories about real incidents in your life or your family's lives?

Hmm. Hmm. Let's see. Stuck on a pontoon boat is already a country song. Classic. Is it? I'm sure. I would say, don't go down there.

Perenthease, there's a rat in the pool. I did have a cousin who brought a gun to a knife fight one time. I'm probably just going a whole gun church album. Yeah. Emily could probably make a pretty good one out of the apartment fire. Yeah, like, I was trying to think, I don't know if I've had anything, knock on what traumatic or weird enough happened to me. You want to see what $10,000 looks like?

Dad, are we counting my dad? As family? Hey, bud. Hey, bud. I don't know how much country music you listen to, but yeah, we're counting your dad. Are you even from Tennessee? Maybe it's just that I don't think of that as weird. That's worse.

That's the problem. It was like, it was a lot like that Haines King article where they're like, man, John King seems like he's abusive and crazy. And you're like, it seems like dad. That's his Christmas. Yeah. Oh, hey, Haines King peed blood for a couple. a couple of days.

Isn't he tough? Yes. I mean, yes. And? Yes, and do I think Haines King should have peeped blood for a couple of days? No.

Oh, you think it was his fault? Yeah. Do I think he and his father had an unusual? Define unusual. Define. Depends on the era. I think we just did.

God, Haines King is such a He literally had a grandfather who trained horses and you don't know if you have country songs in your life i was trying to tee up some real weird shit for you there grandpa grandpa just ate jimmy hoff's phone number how about that's a real thing that happened to you there yes in a courthouse right didn't that happen to him in a fucking courthouse pre preteen driving a catalack there play it pete drake yeah we'll call up vince gill he probably he probably record one of these for you?

I'm going to sell out real quick and just write one that's called Miller Light is basically water, but it's not a disc track. Drunk or it's a, was it, uh, the, the DUI category alone would be spectacular. Yeah. DUI's not funny, but, but. I'm over there. There are times when anything can be funny. There are times when DUI could serve as a punchline.

in certain in certain situations when you're an octopus driving in Nissan awesome it's pretty funny then see oh you've met Haley oh my octopus got drunk next thing I know yep my dad called me once and was like hey man I think they really just arrested Stone Cold Steve Austin at the end of the show the title of that song is it's still real to me damn it's still real to me Oh! I don't want to go. Oh!

Welcome to the shot down Welcome to the shutdown forecast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am country artist Spencer Hall. I am joined as always by Ryan Nanny, Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and Michael Serber on the ones and twos. I did want to start with this headline because we cover all of the news that anyone needs to know before we talk about all of the college football that you need to know. And it's a headline from Scotland's the National. in Edinburgh queue for 18 hours for Popeye's chicken.

That's right. Fans started lining up as early as 5 p.m. the night before the Fort Canary opening to be among the first to try the quote, legendary, unquote. It's unkind, national. Louisiana-inspired sandwich from the American fast food chain. It is the chain's eighth restaurant in Scotland.

Yeah, this is how this took so long to open eight Popeyes in Scotland I think given Scotland's position in the culinary universe you could have 80 I think you could have like the Popeyes across from the Popeyes in Scotland

because if you are opening the eighth and there is an 18 hour wait I love that I think you're misreading the market though I don't think it's that Popeyes doesn't recognize consumer demand I think it's fear of reprisals you're talking about fried

fried food locations going back generations and pop eyes you think poppies can just come in and not be met with violence and pushback like i think it's a very delicate situation i think it's the more that the the weight itself as part of the experience um that demonstrates you know commitment and toughness and so on and so forth and uh you know humble folksy values like i i'm putting in putting in my 18 hours of dedication toward the Popeyes. I mean, generally I think the things that these people, my kinfolk and ancestors, have endured culinary-wise, they have earned not only the Popeyes, but also the taking 18 hours to work yourself up to the Popeyes.

I am naturally looking at the Popeye's UK menu to see how it may differ from what we have here um i would say pretty pretty consistent with the exception of you can buy something called the mega cheese dip which is just a soda cup full of cheese dip yeah all right look what they're keeping from you america i'll take it i'll take one but the thing is it's it's out already but it's eleven a m yeah we're out of it can you also buy a soda cup full of ranch yes you can theoretically yeah but they're out of it yeah they're out of that this is i i love I love the names of the guys who are waiting in line for this. Like, it was, it was according to this article, customers, Oseon, Steer, Owen, and Ahmed.

Yeah. Well, Akash Daniel, Mark, and Daniel. Cash, Daniel, Mark, and Daniel. Well, we're only a little bit behind. We're first in the park and surf base. I came to Popeyes because no one loves chicken as much as I do. Yeah, man. And only Popeyes do it right.

Thank you, Ahmed Moheilden, arrived at 5 p.m. to secure his spot at the Fort Canard Popeyes. What an inspiring photo. Liner on the block, holding up Popeye's shirts, waving Popeye signs. It looks like some sort of a political rally or something. It's like a protest of everything. It's not Popeye.

which I mean you want to talk about a cause that can unite America that can unite America in Scotland I'm saying we're going to bring this is a lesson we should take from them is what I'm saying yeah open more Popeyes 100% turn everything into Popeyes yeah we also have an important ham update okay Ryan would you like to take this since it was addressed to you I believe yeah let me let me find the ham to update itself because so so we get we have an email address shutdown forecast at gmail.com all of us have access to it i would say our hit rate on actually

reading the emails is variable let's just say it's variable at least for me sometimes i read them sometimes i don't i will read if you send an email that includes the subject line so much honey baked ham dear forecast steve here I work for a wholesale food distribution company in Houston. We handle slash warehouse slash ship product for honey-baked ham. Just thought you should know that this week alone, we are delivering over 670,000 pounds of hams and other honey-baked related items to just the greater Dallas and San Antonio areas.

In Houston, we will ship close to 500,000. Just thought I would share that in case anyone out there really thought HoneyBaked wasn't doing numbers in these streets. All hail raw, Steve. what else y'all bacon and honey what I guess that's I guess what can't you bake in honey is the question

can you honey bake any meat nature's perfect food hmm I mean honey baked steak seems a little much honey steak pan why don't you want to live moss I think if you're honey baking the steak you got no choice to live moss

your blood sugar's like we're there anti-catholic Spencer Hall does not support America's ranchers. What about honey-baked pot roast? You know. No, it's too much. I don't know why it's too much. It's just too much.

I'm giving you the read. I'm not saying it's right. Why have you quit on life? Wow. Jesus. Ryan, Nanny. Bought by big honey. Big honey.

Right, that's right. This is Bobo the bear in a suit being like, I'd like to speak you about your program's libelous approach to America's Most Sustainable Swedener. I know you don't, like, I know you don't front seat your Italian heritage a lot. Big honey nanny is a hell of a gangster name. Big, oh my God.

Yeah, we're getting to my racketeering charges. Yeah, we're going to get big, we're going to, once we get big honey to turn and snitch. Just poo bear, patting a tire iron, going, bother well big honey let me tell you i just don't think it would work i'm just it seems like man a hundred acre woods would be a great place for honey honey baked ribs mind you that is nicolodokic's uh nickname big honey is it yes does he know this probably not yes i mean no in the sense that it's a basketball thing and he doesn't care about basketball but otherwise yes Um, I, I can do that.

Do you think Nicole Yokic got into basketball because he heard there was a game called horse and he got tricked into it? 1,000% of what happened. I would love to play horse. Oh, shit. Shit. Or one of his horses was into the sport. One of his horses is like, hey, can you, can you come help me? He saw the old Pistons logo.

I was like, oh, fuck yeah, I got to go play for that horse team. What? The teal one that looked like a car logo. Yeah. Yeah. I would, I would not do honey baked ribs. I'll try them I'll try them

Yeah Honey baked Honey baked salmon Yeah easy Yeah definitely Yeah definitely Yeah definitely Yeah definitely

I think it's the heavier the meat The less I need it coated in honey I don't think that seems like a crazy sentence Are you saying that ham is a late meat It's a little bit lighter than pot roast That's what you're saying? Lighter than pot roast Wow

It's right out It's lighter than pot roast Ham can't get it done in the fourth quarter Damn can't convert a fourth down, is what you're saying about ham? I am a fully propagandized, like, 90s kid who's like, it's the other white meat. This is just my Manchurian pork candidate is just coming out, right? It belongs in every sandwich. Like you just eating a whole pork tenderloid and drinking a glass of milk and saying,

for your health. Only one of those things sounds disgusting to me. And it's not the pork tenderloin, buddy. It's heart healthy as I'm just eating a full ration. him is a late meat yeah it's lighter i said lighter don't misquote me the lighter it gets my attorney big honey will be with you i would like i would like to point out that beef first ham pot roast first ham typically three and a half ounces of spiral-cooked ham would be around 126 calories while three and a half ounces of pot roast uh bottom round would be 169 calories so technically okay okay he's right

It's pretty, okay. Words never uttered on this podcast. It is a technically lighter meat. Yeah, lighter. This is a lead versus iron thing. We're like, oh, that irons. Well, it also literally has two times less iron than beef. Look at that.

See? For those of you trying to avoid iron, may we recommend? Damn. If you're trying to smell to meat, start with beef. All right? It's got more iron in it. This message has been brought to you by ham. That's right.

Ham, it's the white meat. It's going to have lead in it once big honey here gets a hold of it. We'd like to speak to a bunch of liability. Oh, no, no, no, no heavy potatoes for me. I'm only on ham, please. Doctor put me on a ham diet. It's the latest thing. It's pig keto.

Bear on a diet is the saddest idea I've ever heard. Like a bear who's like, oh, no dumpster for me. That's just salmon and berries. That's fine. You're fine. I think the American, I think the American bear is probably on a more diverse diet, a little more diversified. I will entertain no further Gatlinburg slander from you today. That's a great way to put it.

Diverse diet. That's what I eat. Yeah. That's right. You know what? I don't like to put my eggs in one basket, so to speak. A little bit of candy corn here. a couple of twicks is here

I'm only taking the harvest of the season when I do that right yeah yeah a week after Halloween where your diet's like 30% candy this is seasonal produce yeah I'm foraging yeah this is when Eminems are freshest oh butterfinger season arrives the fruit of the land as Christmas invigorating as the mornings of November

and I'll pair this with the light slice of ham off on my day I go. I'll pull this on a slightly less dense than beef slice of ham. For you, Monsour, I recommend the blue Gatorade. This is where our reality show, Idiot Somalié is going to be

fantastic. The cast of Ham Antieto. That's... Mamp cask. Hey, listen, man. You're looking heavy. Come. You're looking sluggish.

Hey, man, I went from being walled up with cans of devil ham to being on Wall Street. Jelly Roll, how did you get into Scott Frost's panic room? I'm always here. Scott Frost is like Jelly Roll. music really speaks to me as a fellow bunker and joyer. Yeah, I'm in the bunker because I'm playing golf with the president.

Who thought I'd be here? Who's the president? George Strait. Oh, God. And then we have... George Strait would probably be a pretty good president. We are also the internet's foremost heist podcast.

And on that note, we have another, you would think that we had finished mining the trench that was the Louvre robbery. Now you got the hand, now you get the goodies. Yeah. I forget to, I regret to inform you that France keeps giving. And it keeps giving and keeps giving. Because there is an update to the Louvre robbery that we want to share with you if you have not seen it. Because remember, some people learn these things. By the way, Dick Cheney's dead.

Some do think is the full cast. We do have to. We do have to mention. big news updates because otherwise nobody all know yeah yeah bob stoop's has been fired um not dead not dead fired yeah federal sandwich trial continues he retired actually sorry we don't want to give you the wrong idea several years late um according to the liberation newspaper documents dating back to 2014 to a 2014 inspection by the french national agency for the security of computer systems reported a staggering detail.

The password of the Louvre's video surveillance server was simply Louvre. Oh, Simplicitare. It's like a... They would never think of it. A thief would never dare soil their fingers by sullying the name of the Louvre. It makes them reflect on what they are stealing. Oh, yes. My first job's name was Sully.

You cannot spell Louv without. Yeah, these are Texas fans because they would not spell OU. It's impossible. Hey, man, you know what OU means after all? Where? Where? That's right. It's a nice question.

Yeah, that's, so yeah, the password was Live. In case you wondered who we're dealing with here. I love, by the way, I want the moment where the superior found this out, right? Like, did they make the password one, two, three? And they're like, no. Not exactly. Don't tell me it was loose. How are they supposed to remember what the password unlocks if they do not include the term within the password?

That's all I'm asking. Listen, one of the greatest countries in the world. Just typing name of museum. And you could go into any of the museum, Dorsay. You're like, Dorsay. How did you do it? Is the British Museum's password just museum? Probably.

It's probably like blindy. It's probably like just something so stereotypically British. Or actually, it would be something really complex, but the British thing to do would be to write password and then put it in plain sight and people would be like, no fucking way. I fuck this out. The password at the British Museum is whatever the password was from the art, the museum that they stole.

the ship from the first place. Why is the password Africa? I don't know. It just says Elgin Marble 69420. Hama Rhabi 609. Well, that was Hama Rhabi's password. That would be

Homorabi's password. That would be, yeah. Because what was that? What's like eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth? The man had a code. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yep. It's giving and receive it, Ryan. No, it's fine.

I just think I just think logistically you're not eye to eye so it doesn't make that's all well that's when you write pleasure pony on your thigh but like tooth tooth part of mouth each of you is receiving a tooth sure I guess that's true yeah it's certainly reciprocal behavior so yeah there is another heist update that I have been forbidden to look at ahead of discussing It's because I wanted to read the subhead of this article to you, cold. Okay. Thank you to the many, many, many, many people who tagged us in this. I love that we are now part of your lives in this fashion. This is from the CBC. Trailer filled with $80,000 worth of whipped cream stolen from business in wealth, which is objectively the funniest named Canadian place.

Subhead. police unsure if thief wanted the trailer or the cream huh that's a good trailer bud is she dating me for the trailer where is this the $80,000 worth of whipped cream I got so a spokesperson she really loved me for I don't really know where to begin with this this is this is $80,000 of whipped cream in a refrigerated trailer

that is itself 50,000 dollars which was stolen from the gay lee whip cream company sorry the gay lee foods company uh whose spokesperson's name is robin redstone i think this is a useful Canada is made up i think this is a useful way to talk about um notions of value like when a company is valued at x dollars or something like that that's not like if you have 80,000 dollars worth of whipped cream. You don't have $80,000. I dare say you probably

don't even have $5,000 because your ability to convert this whipped cream into money. Tell that to the Ontario Butter Thieves who struck seven times over 10 months last year with robberies

entirely of butter in Cambridge, Kitchener and Waterloo. What did they do with all the butter? I have it. I have butter stuff, Bob. too what did you think well you know what keeps longer than than whipped cream or butter and has also been the subject of a famous heist recently honey in Canada not close close maple syrup so picture it's it's the heath ledger joker warehouse with with the ziggar out of cash that he built before

lighting on fire but it's just breakfast sure delicious delicious flat fire they're they're putting they're putting a plate together. My theory is, I have it a different theory, which is that they're just taking it to Quebec. Oh, is it but there? Because I was like,

who would use that much butter? And I was like, who's most French in the neighborhood? Yeah, let der. They're just over there being like, we need more bread. We have so much butter. Jesus Christ.

Oh, I'm sorry. Some of it was. also, so international possibly. Oh, yeah, yeah, Toronto is... That's a whole new level of crime. I'm just saying, when you scroll down to the bottom of this whipped pie story on the CBC page, all three of the links under related stories down at the bottom

are about different butter thefts that have occurred in Canada. Damn, Canada. It just walks into an Indian restaurant in Toronto, and he's like, how much butter chicken have you been moving these days? They're like, burn the books! Oh my God! just been laundering at like 5 million orders of butter chicken that's curious i mean if i knew butter was so valuable i just like raid an i hop and had to canada for a month if you've got

30 000 not's an international house they'll find you if you've got 30 thousand dollars worth a whipped cream what are you doing with it i'm not saying you have to convert it's actually what the i is for i hop has warrantless wiretapping Um, I don't think you can. I think you can I, at best, I think you can try to run some sort of return scheme at a series of grocery store. Hey, sorry, I bought a hundred cans of whipped cream, but I don't need them.

I'll take store credit. That's fine. Mm-hmm. But you got to do that, you know, a shitload of times. You're never going to arrest me, even though I'm not going to convert any of this to cash. Because by distributing several pup cups to every single dog in Canada, I will have a loyal canine army willing to defend me to the death. I would come down the block with my special whipped cream man song playing.

Let's make it, yeah. Yeah, let's make it like, you know, go with the flow by Queens of the Stone Age. I would come down blasting that and all of the dogs would follow me, surround me, and let no one near me because they'd be like, that's the whipped cream man. He's the king of fret. He's king of fret row. Yeah, that's the pup cup man. The pup cup king of. Kitchener is here.

I guess you can also sell them for whippins, right? Well, see, that depends. Like, are we talking cans, are these individual cans of whipped cream? I don't know if it's cans or cartons actually, interesting. Or is it cartons? That's the thing. Right? If it's cans,

brother, we are getting wasted. Gonna give her, bud. Yeah, I'm taking that shit up. cans are the cans shelf stable because this was a refrigerated truck i have to assume they're not uh no yeah the cans have to be refrigerated for sure okay never mind okay that doesn't help you either that or i'm driving as far north as i can and those polar bears are going to have the meal of their lives oh my god this is the most obese polar bears we've ever seen timothy treadwell stole

eight thousand dollars worth of whipped cream to give to the bears polar bear man but the happy ending is just polar bears being like he's the only human we like he brought the cream and then we gave him friendship if you were a subscriber to the patreon you would already know this of course because again we could do nothing but great news on this show uh Hugh Fries was fired we had an entire podcast about it and about what we thought about it hint we're all pretty happy about it how happy you'll have to subscribe to the Patreon for $4 a month or the sum of your choice in order to find out but that's right but in the meantime what we need to do is we need to go ahead

and update the standings the standings for our coach firing draft did any of us outright pick Hugh Fries no and I think I should clarify that there are people are like how did they not have so-and-so and it is important to note that we conducted this coach draft not fucking yesterday. That's not when it happened. No. That and also this wasn't a situation where we did a lot of rounds. No. We picked a total of 16 coaches. Yes. And I think at the time Auburn was undefeated and had a win over Baylor that we thought maybe meant something. Yeah, it didn't, to be clear, because they fired him. It might be bad for Baylor. It might be bad for Dave Randa. That's maybe what it means.

what is bad or good in any event if any of this has displeased any of you please write to us yes and let us know how best you would like us to calibrate our responses to meet your specific emotional needs next time we won't read it but you should write it out unless you write it down unless you put honey baked ham at the subject line then i i will yes do a strong subject line Ryan will fall for it. I mean, I think the main thing is really the risk you take any time you do a competition like the one we did is, you know, some people will assume it happened the day before. That's just the way people work.

But because no one selected Hugh Freeze and Holly wisely did not directly participate in the coach draft. Let's put it that way. Because Holly was the watcher looming in the shadows, Holly has gotten the every coach who was not drafted, it turns out, was actually on Holly's draft list. So if anyone is wondering why we didn't draft Hugh Freeze, it's because Holly did. Yeah. That means.

Just will make them even matter. By getting mad at us, you're being a bad ally. I am updating it right now. Holly has one, two, three, four, five, six. I think she's jumped to the lead. Twelve. Have I jumped? Holly has 19 points.

I think you have 19, and I think I have 18. I now have five. We're just going to do this live. Sure. Spencer has four. It's called transparency. Four plus Spencer has 13. Ryan, you have, can I interest you in?

I'm going to put you down for an 18. Yeah. It's pretty good. And then Serber, who is just cashed in, just had the one hit. Got the first one. He's got 11 points. So Holly, by not participant. paid at all has overtaken Ryan

for the lead. There's a lesson here. The only winning move, kids. Reach a war games. Really, the best way you can to win the full cast is to skip the full cast. Which we've been trying to tell you the listener at home for many years. And yet you refuse to listen.

By listening, you are refusing to listen. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for doing that. You have updated it. So Holly, in the lead with 19. A slim lead over Ryan's But she's going to win. She's going to win the whole day thing. Well, I think, with, well, I think, Holly, the number of, you have five hits on here. Yeah.

Which, Jesus Christ. And that number will only grow. Five hits, having picked none of them. The thing is, you have the most exponential power here because each pick from now on gains you five points. Oh, right. I forgot about the age element to the score. So, like, even if my Scott Satterfield pick, even if he's fired despite being seven and one or whatever, which I'm not feeling great about it, this. I'm telling you, it felt like a fine pick at the time.

Yeah, sure. I will get one point for that, and you'll get five, Holly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but have you considered how funny it would be, Jason? Yeah. The points, not so much. The payoff spectacular. I mean, I can't, you know, I can't unpick him, so I might as well just, I mean.

Many his school has found himself in this predicament. The Luke Fickle pick I'm still feeling pretty good about, for being honest. Yeah, this one kind of surprises me that it hasn't happened yet. They got one of them sticky buyouts. No, I think they knew. and I think they didn't want you to win. That's probably what it is. That's true.

They're also probably looking in the couch cushions because, yeah, I don't know if Wisconsin has the money to pay them off. Or how's this? Given everything else they don't have. I don't know. Like, NIL. It's just a lot of work.

Yeah. It is so much. Like, oh, Auburn, we're so excited. Well, now you've got to go find new one. Oh, we got to have a press conference about that. Oh, who'd we talk to? Like, it's just so much work. You got to update the website.

Yeah. You got to make a graphic. It's like if you say you're going to leave the country if X gets elected. No, you're not. Hey, the elections are all over by the time this is out. So have fun packing. Yeah. Folks.

If they elects over on my daddy, I'm going to leave New York. No, you're died. That's why Mark Soups is not going to get fired at Kentucky. Because there's something like, oh, man. It's basketball season. I'm not trying to pay attention at all. Come on. I don't want to, I'm not trying to do more work.

He's got so much puffed stuff piled up in the office. Oh my God, he's been here so long. He's just got like boxes and boxes of garbage in his office. Do you know how much stationary we have with his name on it? We just leave it. It's fine. It's so much stationary. Good.

What would you think about like just the sheer amount of memorabilia you're going to have to haul out of that office, right? Oh, we've got to re-record the in-stadium commercials. Oh. This is. I'm imagining Mark Stoops campaign To not get fired And he's like Mark Stoops All my stuff is here

Like we have all I suspect at some point We have all had a roommate That we didn't really like that well But we were like It's like it's livable I can deal with it We made it this far

Yeah Like what's one more year on the lease Fuck it That's Mark Stubes In Kentucky at this point It's like man He's been there so long He's got like old Katie Perry

Albums piled up I'm just looking at when he was hired in 2013 he's got like Obama's second second campaign stuff still sitting around

right after that basically the whole Supreme Court has turned over since Mark's Stubbs got him there and March next we're going to pack the court

yeah Justice Stoops that's going to be in next that's why if you're Kentucky you're like God damn it Texas A&M you came so close we were going to get a new roommate

it was going to be so cool all Mark has a GameCube and he doesn't even let us play it. Was that, was that PS3 still? God damn. I think so, yeah. God damn. Yeah. I,

yeah, that is PS3. Oh, my God. Yeah. Mark is you're just not going to go like inertia, like first of all too. Like, consider this. He won't leave on his own. You're going to have to. Are you kidding me? He might be stuck. Or should he? Yeah. That man

might have warts. Yeah. that's i mean he owns a horse right once you own a horse think about that how the fuck do you move a horse yeah yeah how would one move a horse the famously immovable thing please well like urgently i need to know how to move a horse if anyone has ideas on how horses could be used for travel please where am i going to keep what what you find a how about how about we put wheels on the horse this is somehow the second time in this episode that we're pointing out that spencer's grandfather trained horse is for a living.

Once you, well, then who's good, then who knows better than I found a stable that won't sell it for glue. Sure. Which I think is probably still an issue. Like, come on, in Kentucky, if you go to a stable and somebody's like, hey, man, sorry, we accidentally sold your horse for dog food. That's probably a real concern in certain lower rent stables, right? Sure. Like, yeah, some mass bandit came into your horse. And you're like, I think you're lying, but there's a three percent chance you're not.

Yeah. Spencer is horse a light meat? It's a lean meat, so Spencer will eat it. Horse is a lean meat. It is. You can't buy it in the United States, but like MMA fighters in Canada, like Georges Saint-Pierre always talked about what good protein and lean eating horse was. Horse versus ham, what's lighter?

Oh, horse by far. That makes sense. Horses do a lot of moving. Don't think. But like, it's such a pain in the butt to find you stable. Get somebody's taking care of it. Then I got to move. And I got to take this thing.

Boss Daddy Hog. It's so difficult to move your prize stallions. That's true. That's why Westward expansion never happened. The settlers are just like, you want this? You want me to put my horses all the way on the other side of the map? No. That's why everyone lives in Indiana still.

Nobody left. That's where all the good football players live. And all the horses. Most of them walked next to the wagon. Ryan. It started to type westward horse and just gave up. that's a that's a real unfortunate homophone westford horse how long do you think you could take care of a horse oh i got that

okay wasn't quite an answer we may keep a horse alive oh yeah no i got that yeah but how long if i said if you can keep a horse alive for a year by yourself you can't staff it out you have to be responsible for the horse care and I'll give you $1,000 you think you could pull it off? Oh, I'm not letting a horse die. No. I believe you.

I believe you because you take pretty good care of Sunny. Okay. Yes. Who is basically a horse. But, brother, I'm the only person. I don't know about a server. I'm the only person here is actually like taking care of an almost horse-sized animal. Yeah, you had not a horse, to be clear.

No. It was a great name. It's pretty close. Did you ever meet this dog? It was pretty close. Yeah, it was pretty close. Also, I just realized I said ISIS was a horse and I have to point out. out the Isis was the name of the dog?

Is that why you don't want to move a horse because you think it's like moving a great day? Is it because you think you might have to load the horse at some point into the back hatch of a Subaru Outback? Well, you know how much I hate stuff. So like, you know how much stuff a horse has? And then I got to put this all on a separate trailer. Saddle?

All the brushes and the task and just pretend you're Arthur Morgan and you just unlocked some new gear. dude red dead red that all right listen red dead one of the only things that pisses me off about red dead is that the horse is completely like you don't have to do shit yeah it's a real stress free horse

horses are not stress free animals like do you know what a horse is great evolutionary adaptation in the face of stress is they die it's like oh man the weather got kind of weird die it's a real ronko said it and forget it horse in red tent it is the most ronko said it and forget it horse. It is the most

automatic 1979 Toyota station wagon ass horse. Right? Like it's the like, oh, this engine will run for 80,000 miles. A crock pot horse. Realistically, a horse is like, oh, I ate a weird kind of thistle. Dives. Stub my toe on a rock.

Dyes. With all that context, you're confident you can keep a horse alive for a year. Buddy, we're not putting any variables that I can't control. You don't have any. Your backyard don't have any thistles. You're good. We're still not good the horse will probably find something else stupid you know it'll get out and be like that van is my friend so you're going to put the horse in solitary basically no no I'm going to ask you

know what I mean this is how I'm doing it I'm going to ask a lot of questions that look real stupid that's how I'm going to yeah you're going to ask the horse a lot of questions I am and the horse is going to be like this guy's an idiot I'm a horse professor carrot I come to you Seeking knowledge. Listen, I think all five of us would do a fine job taking care of a horse. I do a bad job. I do a bad job. I don't want to.

A horse would be dead. I don't have the one. Serve. Resistently like, call it dog food because it's going on. I'm going to forget it. If I have a horse, if I don't see it, I'm going to forget it. Yeah. Not unlike a horse.

You guys have too much in common. I saw a paper bag, dies. Yeah. There was a horse in this backyard. Like, I heard from an old timer who lived nearby who said that in this like normal suburban backyard that there was a horse a few decades ago. Are these your same neighbors who had sheep randomly one day? No, they still have chickens and sheep and goats and shit.

And mind you, when I say things like that, people are like, Doho, ho, ho, you live way out in the country? No. No. No, I don't know. No. No, not that. That's why it was wrong.

Not anywhere near it. That's why it's odd to have horse and chickens and cows and sheep. Like you live way too close to a Burger King for your neighbors to also have sheep. Yeah, I mean, I live in town, folks. When I was in a kid, I lived in Roswell, there was a horse next door. Yeah, my point is a generation or two ago, two at this point, having like fucking farm animals in the burbs was just normal apparently so yeah so I'm keeping the horse alive I'm naming a car return sure yeah I'm telling you no I tell you what even easier give me a mule

donkey buddy oh my god I'm taking that don't you're gonna braid that yeah yeah you're gonna take a mule to Costco oh absolutely yeah I'm getting a little braids in the hair he loves hot dogs I said I'm thinking that I wish you had daughters and that was a curse This is not a curse. I wish you had a girl donkey that you could like treat as your daughter. This is Anastasia! How many hot dogs will Anastasi eat at Costco today? Kids, let's take some bets.

That's YouTube live stream, comment content if I've ever heard it. Are mule supposed to eat meat? This one does. Also, this is the type of shit that definitely fly in Atlanta. Like, yeah, this is my mule named Fancy. Everyone loves her. Atlanta or I feel like there are too much. Atlanta.

Houston, New Orleans, Memphis, any of these towns. You can take a mule around town. Yeah, she is named after the Reba song, for those of you asked. She can sing it, too, for the right price. She's never let me down. She don't want to sing it right now. That's why you're not hearing it.

You would learn French braiding for that mule. Oh, I'm confident. Spencer would keep a... Like the mule equivalent of a pageant dad. The horse, I think he would keep a horse alive to spite me. And to prove me wrong. Ryan, I would keep the horse alive because I don't want to kill a fucking horse. I understand.

But if the horse is about to die, you will dig down deep and find that extra motivation. If the horse is about to die, it's going to die. It's a horse. You will fight through it just to prove Ryan. Yeah, I think you'd give a horse CPR just to show me I'm an asshole. It wouldn't matter. Horses love one thing. I'm sorry.

Horses love three things. They love beer out of a can. They love sugar cubes And they love dying This is a good wrestling character You've created Stokel called dead awesome Has there ever been a wrestler

That was like two people in a two person horse costume I'm sure that's been done Yeah like a comedy shows and yeah But yeah a mule I think without my Outside influence I think you would become a lifelong friend That you would refer No, he would refer to it as his ward 100,000%

Yeah, wouldn't you? This is my companion, Anastasia. This is Petunia. The patroness of Arnold's tiny donkey honky tongue. I give her title she could not have. Like, this is Anastasia, DDS.

Please bow to your baronet. See a fucking large donkey nearby. What are your intentions with my daughter, young man? I mean, you know what the day? Get a mule? Bring it down to Emory. Yes, admissions office, please.

They're their homeschool transcripts. Amory's like, oh, the Oxford program's going to be a problem. Is being precious a class? Yes. And she aced it. Now I want to fucking get a mule. professor of mule deportment. What do you mean you got an

a five, an AP scampery? That's not a thing. These credits transfer. I'm just looking forward to seeing the day that letter shows up. Miss Fancy Hall, you have been accepted. And because it's a mule, it's a full ride.

And because it's a sister, he'll forget to tell any of us until we get the graduation announcement. That's right. That's right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, by the way, like that you, I say this, honestly. She's going to do grading Kappa Delta at Arkansas. I agree. We're joking, but this is not that far off from like a 19th century college football story. Not at all, right. This is how most mascots came to.

Yeah, yeah. If your school is more than 50 years old. Whichever school joins Division 1 next, Fancy Hall will be the mascot. Fancy Hall, Professor of Chemistry. Tell me this. Tell me the mule's not getting in. to ECU like just for just are they good on boats hey Morgan got into ECU that's right that's right because because he's talented just like Anastasia have we talked about that one reddit post where the dude said he didn't get into ECU and it's like in the ECU

Reddit and then there's 180 comments below it that are just people going bro dude I would take it as a badge of honor yeah dude epic you've gone where none of us Some of them were bros of that hue. None of you are as cool as I am. Listen, some of the hard achievements in video games are the bad ones too, okay? This is what I do when a quarterback throws five interceptions, you know? You're like, that's sick, dude. Throw six.

You're awesome. Yeah. Not everybody can beat Nathan Peterman. All right? That's just hard. It's not good, but it's hard. You go out there and try to throw five picks, bitch. That is a skill of a sort.

You can't make it a bit. You're the one who can't make the ECU, you're the Lysan Al-GPA. Oh, God. Thank you. That's a good transition noise. Is it? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah.

It's the best. There will be playoff rankings tonight. Folks that you have already heard about because you already heard. There will have been playoff rankings. I'm mad at them. I guess it is true that, folks, as you're hearing this on Wednesday, there are playoff rankings tonight as well as this morning. And I cannot believe how the committee has an obvious and bias and vested interest

in just disregarding the achievements of your fine school, whatever school that may be. It's fucking criminal what they've done to Iowa. And Emery. Yeah, damn it. I just. After all, Anastasia is done. fellas my blood turns to ice chips in my veins a lot on this show and that's a compliment to the four of you plus server but nothing compares to the size and scope of the goose that just skittered over my grave as I realized we're going to end this season unironically defending and advocating for playoff Iowa I mean I'll shit I'll start doing it real soon as we start looking at the schedule this week if if they wait wait wait right Ryan right

Right, right, hang on, I said. Spencer, what week is it? Week 11. Shit! He's going to be a great mule dad. He is a good mule dad. I told you all. Hashtag girl donkey dead. Do not look that up.

Oh, my God. Do not. Would you take the mule to the Grand Canyon? Or does that feel gosch? You get her her own mule to ride down. There we go. She doesn't have to work while she's on vacation. Right.

What do they have at the Grand Canyon? Mules? Rocks. They have. burros, right? They have burrows. I want my child to be bilingual. I'm going to send the mule to go work there for the summer.

Oh, I got it. It's like a camp thing. Are you worried that this is tokenism? A little bit, but we're going to have a long conversation, Anastasi and I about countering tokenism and understanding the experience for what it is in itself, not as a signal to anyone else. I have to discover the intrinsic value. As her aunt and legal guardian, because you never sign the paperwork, I just, I want to make sure that she understands that the people and animals she meets are people and animals in and of themselves and not just, you know, items that she can place in a curio cabinet.

That's right. Also, it's going to be in wicked shape, right? Like just hanging around the house eating like carrots and drinking beer out of a can. She's, you know, that's not going to get her anywhere. Yeah, I mean, she'll be in great shape for basketball. No, hey, no ham for this mule. No ham, strictly Costco hot dogs. The lightest meat. We really, we put way too much effort into reality television. Do you know how much I would watch an entire show where we just, like, parked a bear at Costco and saw how many hot dogs it could eat? Because Fox did that thing where there was a hot dog eating contest, man versus beast, right, where Kobayashi is on one side and the bears on the other.

We talked about it is at least five times on this show. We have, yeah. I just want to go to Costco and have people, right? We just sit there. There's a $1.50 ticker, right? Like every time it eats one, it's like $1.50, $3, $4.50. Make it a charity event. We're like, hey, we're going to match all the donations that this bear manages to rack up.

$70. The bear eats eight pounds of salt for charity, basically, in two meat form. Best line from that show is, of course, the bear doesn't even know it's a contest. He's just out there for the love of the game. But I did want to go ahead and say that if we were to, if we were to put together our 12, 12 teams, yes, there were a rankings that can tell you. Don't do this. No, come on. No, no, no.

Just put the teams you want. Just the teams you want. That's literally what the committee does. Not doing it. Well, yeah, but we're cool. They're not. I'm not doing it. I'm on this show, right?

I'm not doing it because I have, I realized that we could live in a world where Indiana and Texas A&M are playing in the BCS championship game. And instead we're going to do all this. Oh, shit, he did put this in the show, Doc. I will forever take it one step further and abstain from all of this. These teams should all be in ball games and they should all be rigidly aligned. They should all be invitation only bowl games. None of this shit should exist. There should be a plus one game at the end of it, at which point Indiana and Texas A&M play.

But otherwise, everything should be exactly how it was when I was five. Wait, Spencer, you were excited about this. Why don't you give us your 12? More smoking in restaurants. Why don't you give us your 12 here in this Wendy's salad bar with the little glass atrium over it? And we will critique or support your choices as you make them. Can I ask a quick question? Were we doing chili on baked potatoes before the super bar?

Wendy's be like, fuck that, you deserve to live. I'm not Midwestern enough to know that. Okay, if, listeners, if you have memories of like, no, Wendy's is stolen chili on potatoes valor, let me know. History of chili on bank. I'm guessing the comments. The people of Cincinnati, their advances in chili technology. I'm sure they've been doing this for centuries.

But do theirs include the potato? They'll put it on anything. I wonder if, you know what I'm going to do? Do you know how I'm going to find out? I'm going to write to the Dr. Ida. Oh, thank you. That's a great idea. Finally, maybe they'll answer this one.

It probably had some jacked up 19th century name, too, right? Like, scampy bids. Sure. Scampy bids. Okay, this is unexpectedly romantic. Daisy salad. Yeah. Spencer, if you had to pick a bracket of 12 teams, who would you pick?

Seven. Seven them. Dance, puppet. Some of them, some of them are. Yeah. This is, keep in mind, purely capricious here. Like, we're doing maybe. Yeah, we get it.

Yes. Indiana, but that's obvious, right? Real original, yeah. Yes, we're doing number one, Indiana. I can also tell you who's not in it. Ohio State. Why? Fuck them.

I don't care. Just tired of it. Well, you know what? What's your resume? You barely worked. You just had yourself a nice little invitational all year. You made it look too easy, but not in an Indiana way where you beat the fuck out of people. You just made it look too easy.

Right. Is this like this the Moe Biles problem? Yeah. Almost. I think Simone in Indiana would be a corollary here, whereas Ohio State's just like, yeah, you got your 20 point lead and then you just stood there. Yeah. You just do what? You managed it.

I don't have to care about that. I don't. additionally the bottom of the big 10 which is who you're stocking up on they're garbage they're absolute trash but they play nine conference games so it's really hard yeah then you stop the if you stock the conference go look at the bottom four in the big 10 or the bottom five in the big 10 i know it's a big conference distribution means the bottom's going to be ass i mean yeah they beat texas it was boring nobody wants to see that again right like that's what it looks like if ohio state plays a playoffish team it's boring so okay we don't need to see it

Yeah, you also beat you also beat him before exposure to Diego Pavia mutated Archmanning into full demon primark mode Before the most The most princely five star of all time Looked across the field And saw a New Mexico juco and said Oh, that's how you play quarter pack

Saw the true king That's how to do it Now I get it I've finally seen I Arch Manning have finally seen What a good quarterback looks like? Why didn't my uncles tell me? me about this. A mentor. A mentor. Who is like six years older than me. Thank you,

Sense. Man, listen, I don't know if Diego, based on his current legal strategy that we know about, I don't know if Diego is planning for any future ever that does not include college football. There are many, many quarterback self-styled gurus out there, Scott Leffler, who have way flimsyer resumes to their credit than does Diego at the age of 24 or whatever i would love if arch manning we get out of this season arch and it's like okay well what's arch gonna do and he's like before he makes any decisions he's going to he's going to he's going to pavia camp he's just spent in two months yeah desert right but what i'm saying is but what i'm saying is i think diego should start you know how they you know when a coach gets hired or interim coach gets hired and

it's always like sure he he was the receivers coach of yeah calvin johnson like you taught calvin Johnson how to be a risk no offense to whoever Calvin Johnson's actual receiver coach was but Diego should start putting this on his resume right now like arch manning stats like put arch's splits up there before and after facing Vanderbilt and use this as his app like start putting this on whatever web whatever like Instagram web page you have like right now LinkedIn yeah yeah yeah I this is just basically Diego Pavia's camp on how not to be a bitch that be it right like just in me it's dick bust dick yeah

Diego Pavia's bitch conversion therapy I'm also interested in seeing how Pavi himself performs now that Hugh Fries isn't around because as we know for years now Pavia's goal in life has been to humiliate Hugh Fries which happens even when he's not

like Hugh Fries has scored three points and Pavi is out here taking Texas to the wire I hope they didn't tell him he's his Salieri is gone I hope they didn't tell him I hope they didn't tell him in there. Yeah. He's going to show up to the Auburn game. Like, oh, I'm going to fuck that guy.

Where is that little bastard? Where's he hiding? He's pooping. It's not the first. I mean, we're all dismayed to see DJ Durkin on a sideline, but this is going to be rough. He'll only come out if you score five touchdowns, Diego. He should, listen, he should hire Hugh. He should hire Hugh to come, like, stand on the Vanderbilt sideline and just stare.

They'll just have photos of him. like a bull showing those big basketball cutouts. Vandy fans bring giant cutouts of Hugh Freeze's face to the Vandy Auburn game. Stupid-looking cutout. God, I'm getting pissed off

just thinking about it. I'm going to go play a really good quarterback just thinking about an ocean of Hugh Freeze's face. All right. I'm just leave voicemails in the fake Hugh Freeze voice being like

Yeah, you're on private. Oh, he's going to fuck him up. All right, number one, Indiana. Who's next? Number one, Indiana. Number two, Texas A&M, and I base this on the asswopin test, which is I've seen this team deliver a serious asswopin, number two. Yeah, I'm kind of concerned that, yeah, by which I mean, like, I'm a little bit of,

I'm a moderate lot bit afraid of Texas A&M right now. Spencer, I hope you give us the exact number 12, just minus Ohio State. these no i'm i'm using i'm using like some basis in reality here and then like do i want to watch them play um number three i'm going to do another team that i know is just grit this is by the way grit the grit factor i e how thick the necks on the team are very important in my rankings uh number three is b yu because uh coach super thick neck one on that team. They're 24. So far you've got three undefeated teams. This is just like...

I mean, they're good. I mean, like, I'm not going to put bad teams in here. No, I appreciate that you're like, fuck numbers. Yeah, yeah, which by the way, the ass will have been test. I know. Maybe not the week to do it, but I believe in them. Also, much respect to NC State. Number four is Georgia Tech. Yeah. Grit factor. The grit factor nine. Are your teams going in pairs like the The top two, or they both have cases to be top two, the next two are both the grit teams? No, that's a lot of thought, and we're not going that far into this. I'm picking teams.

I want to watch play in a play. Is that the ranking? This is the Spencer wants to watch Index? Oh, no, no. I just wrote these down, right? Man, you got to have the mind of a mule to keep up with this. I know you were mad that the rest of us didn't want to do brackets, but we still have to get to the schedule after this. I think this is actually going to fit very nicely into getting a show in under five hours today.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. Number five is going to be Ole Miss. Did you skip? No, four was George's. No. I was just trying to trip them up. Okay, good.

Thank you. Please don't do that. Yeah, so number five is going to be Ole Miss because somebody has to score. Number six is going to be Vanderbilt because Diego Pavia. Did you write these down? Somebody else has to score. yes um don't

sound like you yourself we're not sure we're halfway there who's calling me from Gainesville good god I don't know they're lobbying for a spot tell them they do not get in coach yeah they ain't getting it okay again these are teams that I

want to see play ball number seven's going to be Louisville Louisville's really fun I enjoy watching them number eight is going to be Utah because I love Devin Dampeer. Number nine is going to be Alabama because Jeremy Bernard's awesome. Number 10 is going to be Miami because I want to watch them lose in disastrous fashion. It's very important to build that into your prospective playoff teams because you want to see one of them. You are providing the

easiest path for Miami to make the playoffs. Yeah, that's true. In terms of entertainment number 11 is going to be UVA, that's right, we're going to put Virginia in. This is like when you take the class pictures and you're like, let's do a silly one. Yes, exactly. And then number 12, again, I'm going to put them in here and I'm going to, if we're going to see them, I want them to be last Georgia. I want to put Georgia in there. Oh, I thought you were going to repeat a team.

I don't believe in you, Kirby. I thought this was teams we wanted to play ball. How many big 10 teams do you have in your playoff? Let's see Utah Where's Oregon? You got Utah Oregon lost to Iowa

They're done Oh right Thank God Yeah please I believe I just have Indiana In Utah In Utah

Oh wait And honorary Big Ten member Utah Yes No Spencer they're really in the big ten Spiritally yes No Reamement they're in the big ten It's week 11

Hollywood Week 11 Amanda's mind is as sharp as a mules. I'm sorry, I progressed from cool. Hang on. It's unnatural. Real quick, real quick, real quick.

Who's leading the ACC coastal? There is no. God damn. Well, that means the coastals, it's inside you. Stanford. It's inside all of, yeah, Stanford is professionally in charge of these. This is like, you know, the teacher is left and we're like,

okay, who's in charge of heads up, seven up it's probably the literal oh i just realized i put the the the titular stanford prison experiment kids in charge a heads up seven up i have transcended koala mind and i have elevated to donkey donkey mentality business prison's going to eat a sequel business prison can only be survived if you get an unlock is donkey mind one word with no hyphen donkey mind and no capital M in the middle either. No vowels. Write it down.

Doctor, he's got donkey mind. Another full cast Industries development donkey mind supplements. Bro, I'm going donkey mode. It's got a kid. Like,

in life. I'm just staring down all this shit and I'm like, how am I going to get through it? And I'm like, bro, just go donkey mode. Just go donkey mode.

Carrots and sticks. Carrots and sticks. That's how we get through this. I'm going to grind so much sugar cane. Podcast business? Yeah, let's do a little podcast business. podcast business what's a business podcast business it's a business podcast business

Dave Matthews Band Splash Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blom Blah Blom Blah Frippwom The program you're listening to right now is the shutdown fullcast We have a Patreon. We have a Patreon for $4 you can support bonus episodes Which by the way with all the coach firings but we're just popping bonus episodes out left and right how many do we have on the season 18 when you receive this episode if you are receiving it the day it drops which will be Wednesday November 5th you'll be one day removed from the three month anniversary of the launch of our Patreon which is Wednesday or Thursday November 6th we launched this thing on August 6th that is 18 bonus episodes in 90 days which in my opinion is one bonus episode every five days Um, listen, y'all, we're, we're, we're, we're setting expectations a little bit high from here, but just think of us as stuffing your cheeks with nuts to fill the long winter months. Squirrel, squirrel these away.

Patreon.com slash shutdown full cast, a guy who said we don't put enough bonus episodes on the Reddit like a month ago. Ha ha! Start complaining about the quality now. I'll write your scripts for you. I'm in the show. They'll complain about it. Yeah, right some, yeah, there you go. Complain about the quality.

like, yeah, I picked one of them, and I don't like them. I'll just note we said up front, right up front. You should have no expectations for the number you get. We don't know how many you'll get. We did not plan. That certainly was true. We did not plan to give you any more than 11 by the, 12 by this point. We've given you more than that.

And like that's not so much a reward from us. It's like a punishment because you're the one who's here. You know, like I can't believe you've endured all this. Thank you all 9,000 plus of you for being part of this. for the first time yeah thank you donkey mind hive donkey hive mind donkey hive hive if we get to 50,000 subscribers we'll give everyone a free sample of donkey don't say that don't say that 50,000 if we get to 50,000 subscribers I'm making a a sublime called donkey mind yeah were you not listening like 10 minutes ago

yeah we're going to do we're going to do it we're going to do it 50,000 hey Ryan you're our lawyer Why is your hand over your face like that? Hey, you're our lawyer. The stuff that we sign with sponsors while they're our sponsors, is that permanently binding? Let's say yes. Like if we had done an ad for a supplement in the past, where per the language of the direct as we were given,

we weren't allowed to say things like vegetables. Right. This is not food. Listen, don't worry. Donkey mind supplements are only made with 100% lean ham. That's it. That's right. Lean ham. It's the other white meat. What is donkey meat?

Donkey meat. Oh, just one of the things. You made that noise a lot. Donkey meat, horse meat. We write about all kinds of protein at channel dash 6.ghost.io. That is the newsletter. Not a donkey meat blog. Not a donkey meat blog. But you know what? Hey, if you want to subscribe and you want to email us, be like, hey, could you write about donkey meat? We do take requests.

We do take requests. I'm not saying we'll do it, right? It's not as lock tight as the 50,000 subscribers and a free sample of donkey mind mind supplements for brain power. Is it donkey mind brain supplements or donkey main brine brain? Damn it. Donkey brine minds brain your donkey with our donkey with our donkey brining solution. Rine your donkey mind.

Oh, that's our morning smoothie. That's what you used to Brian the Donkey Mind. Yes. Channel 6, where we do our newsletter work, we provide the top whatever during the college football season, which is your review of everything that has happened, will happen, or should happen in college football. We wrote in particular about short shorts this week

because I firmly believe the future of college football uniforms and football uniforms in general is basically a lacrosse player in shorts with an enormous toad-sized helmet. Those kind of insights and more available at channel dash 6.ghost.io. We do two things a week. And we've done two things a week for a damn four years at this point. Damn.

Yeah, damn. Even more so, we have our pregame hangouts. We have other free newsletters that we do. In the offseason, we write about all kinds of fun stuff. So please join us. $10 a month for two things a week. Channel dash 6.ghost.io. It's just me and Spencer.

Jason and Ryan aren't in there. I'm sorry. I know that's a deterrent, but we're trying our best. What if I wanted a free college football newsletter? And what if I wanted it to be like in the paper of record, but better? That would be where I would come in. You're going to go to the Until Saturday newsletter, and you're going to subscribe to it. You'll be one of 700,000, and most of those people read it, too.

I'd just like to brag about the numbers I see. We know they read because they accuse you of being a Florida fan. I have been a case of being a Florida alumni, which is like the most, oh, we are so back moment of my, like, you know, covering college football was my job. They're at the 2010s and I hadn't really done it other than this podcast, such as it is a college football podcast until this year, coming back around to this newsletter. So there are just parts, you know, every Ohio State fan is going to want their team to be talked about. There should be no discussion. Anytime Ohio State is not on screen, all the characters should be asking what Ohio State is doing, that. and I am always a Florida alumni because I am associated with two Florida alumni. Holly, I've never been accused of being a Tennessee alumni, though. I think it's because you're too sensible. I don't know. I mean, not too sensible, too sensible to garner that accusation.

I think they view like the Floridaness as just as more than doubling the Tennesseeness or something like that. I don't know. I never get Florida either. I get Bama a lot, which is odd and upsetting. I got LSU also last week because I wrote an entire news. about how wildly chaotic and dysfunctional LSU has been for a century, and someone was like, you're so obsessed with your alma mater. And I'm like, did you not see what I just said about it?

To be fair, this is how L.S. This is how L.S. Yes, yes. Dude was like, oh, sorry, I thought you're Chris Brachian. That is exactly what happened. Wait, really? Yes, yes. Also, Chris Branch, who writes, the Pulse newsletter, our bigger newsletter is an LSU fan,

and he'll put in there every few days, like, my poor tigers. And so, yeah, someone thought, He and I were the same guy. So, Jason, I could actually instantly have that, like, Inglorious Bastards 3 versus 3 hand signal moment with you. If I just handed you a whip it and asked you how to do it, because if you didn't know how to do it, you didn't go to Florida. I did not get an Arizona state degree.

It's true. Yeah. Until Saturday's the name of the newsletter. It's where the watch grade is. It's pretty now. I sold out. Ryan, tell yourself. Phantom Island is the podcast I do with Stephen Godfrey.

Sometimes it's about college football. sometimes it's not. Everyone got fucking fired this year. So it's about college football a lot more than it is, not these days. But that won't always be true. We have upcoming episodes on Vanderbilt's new volleyball team, the CFL, and other things that are not about college football coaches getting fired. Will more college football coaches get fired or change jobs? Yep, they sure will. We'll see if we'll have to stomp around the office talking to people on the phone. Yep, sure will do that too. And then I will talk to him and we'll get to his feelings and figure out what they mean. You can listen. At, you can search Phantom Island. You can go to Phantom Island. Show if you want to be a paid subscriber. We have a live show coming up in Athens, Georgia in next week. Ah, super soon. That's fun.

Wait, that's next week? That's next week. I thought it was in December. Nope, it's next week. Did it move? Nope, because it's always been. Like a horse? It's always been tied to the Texas Georgia game.

And unless that moved. Like a mule. Yeah, you can come see us in Athens if you want. Go to home field. If you want to find out what, uh, what that shows all about and get tickets. Oh, speaking of home field apparel, Jason is wearing my favorite piece of home field merch ever. It's not their most recent one. It's not, it's not even necessarily their most like creative, like, like, like, wow, I've never thought of this design. But the big sky, like, how would

we describe the big sky hoodie at this point? Because the big sky, the big sky, the big sky low. is like a pastel landscape of the big sky. It's just sort of like if you did a pastel painting of like somewhere in the middle of Montana. That's the big set conference logo. Yeah. It is also

just like, I have entered a new period in my life at home where originally I had to worry that my wife would steal my hoodies. But now I have a nine-year-old and the nine-year-old is stealing the hoodies as well. So I am being assaulted on all front by people who want to take my precious fleece and keep it from me and rob me of my warmth.

But fortunately, home field apparel will never run out of warmth to provide me with in the ongoing fight against family members who don't want me to stay warm and cozy. Thank you, Homefield Apparel, for defending me against my family at all times. Thank you, Big Sky Conference, for being our home conference for however many years we've been doing this episode. It was indeed the Big Sky Conference that sent me this hoodie themselves, this Homefield hoodie. So shout out to not only home field for providing so many hoodies for those of us who are frequently robbed of our hoodies, but also to the Big Sky Conference itself for having a beautiful logo and for sharing it.

So Ryan, handshake meme, Ryan Nanny on one side, a sheep on the other in the middle worrying about people trying to take their flee. That's right. Yeah. Hey, man, I need some tunes. Michael Server, if only had a great band to do that. Yeah. I'll talk to you. about that in a moment. Donkey meat, though, is considered to be typically of low quality, kind of gamey, like horse meat. Typically, most donkey meat is in Italy, Mexico, and China, where about 100 tons. They ate Dominic. About 100 tons of donkey meat are consumed. Traditional sausages in Provence use donkey meat, although elsewhere in France, it is rare. Although elsewhere in France, it is rare. for donkey to be served

but it does seem like there's a budding donkey meat industry out there so you know when Fancy gets a little you know long in the tooth looks like you can

put money back on that my band's called to you I'm nuts come on man that's so fucked up what Honestousy is more Jessica

Autosia is more important than anything else in Spencer's life Fancy would want to want to pay it forward that's what I'm saying listen if if people were delicious wouldn't you eat your dead relatives maybe think about it at least that the smokers yeah okay anyways killer answer's name of my band which you'll surely want to listen to now um donkey mind also

calling that for a band name no one can have it it's mine now if I use it's good at this you're about to get a letter from full cast industries you can listen to us on all the things I also listen to Hand in the Dirt my podcast is Stephen Hartzlin Michael Felder And Holly was on a recent episode Holly was on a recent episode So if you're catching up Again please don't hold that against hand in the dirt Yep

Don't hold it against Holly either She didn't mean She didn't mean for any of that to happen Don't hold it again Hey don't hold it against anyone Don't hold anything against anyone Hartzell's the problem Actually yeah you

Hartzell is to blame that's at You did invite me so this was his fault Only through the power of Dockemind Can you embrace true forgiveness By forgetting everything ever Listen, buddy, if there is any show on earth that embodies donkey mind, it is fucking hand in the dirt. And I say this with zero irony and every bit of affection.

This is a compliment. Every episode is a four hours. She wore a crown and came down in a bubble dug argument about gardening and sometimes football. I can say I don't have any opinion in my life that is as strong as the like gentlest held opinion on hand in the dirt. That's true. There are hills in these gardens, and there is a dead host on top of every single one of them. Would you like to hear me call host of the College Football Blitz, Stephen Hartzell, an insufferable, miserable, son of a bitch once per episode? We're the show for you.

Yeah. And only sometimes it's a bit. Yeah. Sometimes. I did actually, you know what? We need to give, we really need to just, I wish we could transfer the. the energy from the people trying to create lore around our show

to what is happening on your show because it is so much more dramatic. I would think so, yeah. Fuck Hartzell. He's my best friend. Listen to the show. Yeah, listen to the show. So you too can come back to the show

and listen to me, go, if I hear Stephen Hartzell say, I fucks with that one more time. I'm gonna throw a chair. Oh, if it makes you feel good, Spencer, I spend an entire episode. getting on his nerves by only speaking in gen alpha slang that was the holly episode although that was great when you like cap yeah yeah that made him

that is why i was laughing when spencer called you cringe it's not because i thought you were being cringe it was because i could hear felders screaming oh yeah no that was very much done in mind of like i just listened to hand in the dirt let's port that over um by the way we said a we set what i think is a land speed record, or I guess an airspeed record on Hand in the Dirt, the episode that I was on because I have a little bit of a hobby with Hand in the Dirt that I don't think I've ever told any of you about, or I guess it really matters more that I have never told Serber about it. Every time somebody on the show says, we're going to get out of here when I'm listening to hand in the dirt. I will just take a screencap.

And I've had, I have a whole library in my, I'm scrolling right now, I have 60 screen caps in my phone of times, of times y'all have said, we're going to get out of here and just recording the amount of time that is left. At 4808 in the episode that I was on this past week, Hartzell says, we have a hard out in 55 minutes. There are at that moment two hours, three minutes, and 42 seconds left. It's like, it's the Interstellar podcast. I humbly submit that this is a record.

Can I tell you all that I also teach producing? You can enroll from my classes at Forsythe Tech every year. Yeah, you can't. The dirt is like the ocean planet in Interstellar where you're like, it feels like five minutes, but it's days up there. It's years and past. Hartzell did actually have to leave so he leaves like we're we're wrapping up we think we're wrapping up he really we had that interstellar experience because Hartzell left went and did a whole ass meeting at Learfield came back into his office and the three of us were all still talking 2038 how is this episode still going he got back in he was like how is this still going we talked for 23 more minutes and I believe I believe that can includes podcast business.

Let's look at the schedule. A bit of our years from last week. Yeah, thank you for sounding the siren. Or is that a claxon? Anyway. That's an awuga idiot. Get his ass. Yeah, by the time you've listened to this,

Miami of Ohio and UMass at Akron have already played. There, that's Tuesday. Yeah, it's the time of year when, um, Mac weeknight games take over for Conference USA Weeknight games and everyone pretends they're going to watch them. So that's going on. There's Macion tonight. I mean, it'll be fun.

It'll be fun. You should watch it. But, like, you know, there's already been Congress USA Weeknight games for like a month. And it's not going to feel much different than that did. Then Thursday night happens. Thursday night's good. Like, UTSA at South Florida. That's a good game.

Yeah, we got Georgia Southern. Nap State. They hate each other. UTSA, USF's favorite by quite a bit. But they need it is the thing. Like pretty much every game involving an AAC team. Don't call it the AAC is meaningful this time. Friday night, speaking of this, we got Tulane, Memphis, folks. It's one of the biggest games of the weekend because we'll go a long way toward sort of narrowing down the big cluster atop the AAC. Don't ever call it that. Winner gets the Arkansas job. Let me pause here. I sincerely think I missed whatever the Americans' most recent objection was to not having conference appended to their name.

Can we review that? Oh, just a rebrand. It doesn't have athletic in its name. It's, you can't, they want you to call it the American. I think I skipped this press release. Hello, you may call me the American. The only press release is I read her from the Liberty Bowl. And if you've ever seen a Liberty Bowl press release, you understand why.

Everybody else get your graphics game up. Yeah, elsewhere. Houston, UCF, sure. On to Saturday. Saturday. Hey, listen, man, noon's off to a slammer. BYU at Texas Tech. That is a ball team-ass ball game.

That is indeed going to end with a lot of people in jail. That is, yeah, that's a game of the week right there. You have an undefeated BYU, one lost Texas Tech. Could very easily be a conference title preview. So, and what? What a culture clash we're talking about there. One of them doesn't throw tortillas anymore. One of them never did.

What is it funny? I mean, they could have. Let's be clear. There's nothing to be like each other or in the morning. They put a tortilla in their hand and had their friend move their arm back and then throw it forward for them. Folks, you can reach my, you can reach. Michael Surper at hitdipod at gmail.com. That's his personal email address.

Yeah, that's a slamming. That's a slamming ass football game right there. That's what's called, in fact, slamming. Speaking of slamming ass. No, that's all. And by the way, good luck to Georgia not looking like shit against Mississippi State. Not so easy. Yeah, you will.

By the way, that's going to be at 11 Central. Right? Georgia Mississippi. Oh, oh, I get it now. I forgot how time zones work for a minute there. I had not realized that they are also sending Georgia to start for this season. You know, it's fucked up about Indiana Penn State. Hmm.

Penn State could rise up and win this game, knock off the number two team in the nation, et cetera. And it probably wouldn't matter to Indiana. Like, they'd be unhappy, but it'd still be like, yeah, we're still on track to make the Big Dead championship and make the playoff. Fuck you. Minor blip in the road. Your butt of speed up on our path.

And also you can't have our coach. Kurtzignetti makes me really sad that the name Jerry Kill was already taken for a college football coach. Sure. Let's see. Yeah, but his name is Kurtzegnetti. I mean, that's good. That's good. But like, I kind of feel like.

But it could be Kirk Kill. I don't know. Yeah, I kind of feel like the stork myth. I kind of feel like the stork missed when he got, when Jerry Kill got Jerry, because he looks, he does look kind of jovial. Kirk Kill is a real Roger Moore-Bond villain, right? Yeah, Kirk Kill. It's also like a 19- Yeah. It's also like a like a 1970s punk guy, right?

Like yeah, Kirk Kill and the waste toys, they were fantastic. I wrestled with Kurt Kill as one half of the AWA tag team champions. I saw Kurt Kill open for Velvet Underground and Maria almost Benhoff. and I got so drunk that I started giving all that glory. He died in the middle. It was awesome. Yeah, there is also, this is, you know, every last weekend, every team was,

every game was kind of an ACC game. This is the every game is kind of a big 12 game. There are, like, there is Iowa State at TCU, actual big 12 game. Then there are games that kind of feel like a big 12 game or maybe in a past life were a big 12 game like Texas A&M at Missouri at 3. 30 Eastern on ABC, which maybe you get to watch it on YouTube TV.

I don't know. We're going in a week two of this shit. Let's see here. We have, don't don't overlook JMU is 7 and 1 going to Marshall. We saw Marshall last week getting beat up by our beloved coastal Carolina. But JMU is 7 in 1. I'm assuming the playoff committee has overlooked that. Oregon, Iowa.

Oregon's schedule coming down the stretch. it's pretty fucking tough they got to go at iowa they got to go to washington at the end in between they got to play USC USC is good mind you and uh and minnesota's not bad so like they kind of needed to be too because like they don't have i think organ's a good football team but they don't have like wow here's the resume here's everything they've stacked up oh yeah like yeah yeah their best win is they got to add some extra northwestern yeah it's not it's not it's not i know it's not sure shit it's not uh... auburn vander build, of course.

Sadly, sadly, there's no Hugh Freeze for Diego Pavia to destroy this time. Diego Pavia is showing up like Master Chief. I just don't want him to be bored, you know. Showing up like a Doom guy in hell looking for Hugh Freeze. Where's Hugh Freeze? Ball eligible, Kennesaw State is going to New Mexico State. They're in the same conference. Sure, that makes sense.

If you want a little bit of volatility, by the way, 4 p.m. We have our FCS special. South Dakota State at South Dakota. Who knows what the hell's going to happen in an FCS game like that? Because it's been a tumultuous couple of weeks. Yeah, the Dakotas are kind of all over the place except for the one. Things are kind of back to where they were in like 2015 there. I'll tell you what, the night game I'm most excited about, it's a pretty weird night schedule.

You could sort of see which game everything cleared out for, well, which pair of games, everyone, everything cleared out for. LSU, Alabama, not so much into, but Florida State Clemson, I am dialed in. That is even more exciting than it would have been if these teams were really good. Someone's got to lose. Here's the most important signifier to me. This game kicks off at the same time as another ACC game, Wake Forest at number 12, Virginia. As well as Cal Louisville. And it's the first of the very most important.

ESPN, Wake Forest, Virginia. ESPN 2, Cal Louisville, Florida State Clemson, the ACCCC Network. Oh, I was hoping for the CW, but this will do. Unfortunately, the CW. CW got Belichick games. Yeah, CW Snag, Stanford at UNC at 3.30. I shouldn't have doubted you for a second CW. So FSU Clemson, you're fourth.

Yeah. Dude, this is, this is, this is the hip-hop act plays C-World stage of Hillary State's life, right? They're like, I didn't think it would come to this. I didn't think we'd still need the money. Still need the money. Okay. Just the yin-yang twins

Thought out When You See My Dick at Sea World The Whisper Song The Whisper Song Folks, here's jelly roll to perform Way that you see my dick at Sea World So speaking of needing money, Navy's playing Notre Dame If you're a long-time listener, you know that If a Service Academy team is a huge underdog,

there might be an investment to make the track record is strong. Navy is a four touchdown underdog. It's a good Navy team. Four touchdown underdog at Notre Dame. If I were still a gambler, I would look into this. Florida, Kentucky. Don't. God.

Holy shit. At? This is like, this is, this is the FSU Clemson that sucks. Yeah. Yes, that's right. Yeah. I love that for y'all. It's going to fucking rule.

It's going to be 6'2. Let me tell you about San Diego. State, Hawaii, is this the cutesy little do-ho-ho-ho. I'm pretending to watch Hawaii thing. Like, no, this is a big game. San Diego State 71 and Hawaii 6 and 3. You should watch the shit for real. San Diego State just got good.

Got really good. And year two of Sean Lewis's tenure. So Tennessee's off this weekend and I was like, oh, they can't hurt me. What's West Virginia go to hurt? Going to do the hurt me. Oh, what a pleasant series of surprises. Oh?

Well, playing Colorado at noon. Hosting Colorado on TNT and HBO Max, baby. Yeah. That's another, like, don't. Just don't. Yeah, there's no reason to do that. Like, you don't have to, listen, all college football is great. You make your own choices, but you don't have to treat the college football schedule, like, the 1 p.m. Fox NFL broadcaster.

We're like, I guess we're watching the Titans. There's not, I don't got anything. You don't have to. Oh, shit. We still don't have fucking YouTube TV back, do we? Nope. I just can't believe they survived the Cowboys. It's time for another Fubo trial, folks.

There is absolutely no reason to watch any of this bad shit over BYU, Texas Tech. Yeah. On Fubo. Also, I now am just remembering this second, an hour and 45 minutes into recording that I think on After Dark, in the live version, we said that we were going to run people through some of the options that we tried last weekend on Tuesday's show. I didn't prepare a lick of that. But also, I didn't have a great experience next Saturday. So I'm going to try some other shit this weekend and see if I can find something that works.

I didn't use an alternative at all because just as everyone has always accused us of, I don't watch the games. I've never watched the games, you fools.