Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40, 2019 Edition: A Pre-Christmas Crime Spree

Episode Date: December 13, 2019

This episode starts with a discussion of a long-time Tampa adult entertainment store and mostly ends with unsolved axe murders. Somewhere in between those, there is discussion of the pre-Christmas bowl games, but only as they are theoretically useful for doing crimes. This is the 40 for 40 and shame on you if you expected something different. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown full cast. Yeah, you're coming into some trippy, some trippy business there. If it sounds like it was written by An actual composer. It was. Somebody cooked it up for us, if you will. Thank you to listener, Todd Kitchen. Todd Kitchen.com.

Todd Kitchen music for all your Todd Kitchen cooking. You think we're kidding about Todd Kitchen.com. We are not. No. He is currently a Ph.D. candidate in composition at Brandeis University. I hope they aren't listening to this because he did this on Thanksgiving. So the sounds of Asper. Castro Casio dog coming to you from Beyond the Pale are brought to you by an actual future

musical professional and current musical professional. Just wondered. Have ever told you about the stress we dealt with as a family? My brother's name is Todd and have I told you about how that manifested in a stressful way when we were children? No. No. So when your kids, you are, you're, uh, you like to see your name in places. So like I thought Ryan's steakhouse was cool. We never went because Ryan Steakhouse is not good. But I thought it was at least cool that that was a thing that grew up rich. Yeah. Wow. There was only there was only one and it was like way out in Brandon. So it was more just Ryan went to Cornell. It was highly inconvenient. Oh look who's got Brandon Florida money. Look who's got Quincy's money. How dare you. Anyway so so I thought that

was cool. My sister, I forget there was some like local store that had her name on it. But my brother, Todd, there was one establishment in the Tampa area that had his name on it in big, big letters. Spencer, can you please Google for me, the Todd Tampa? And tell me what you get. Is it time to play my favorite game strip club or small business? Oh, no. Oh, no. Let me read to you the description of the business, which has two low businesses.

locations, one in Tampa on North Nebraska Avenue. Go Husters. That's the one I know, yeah. Yeah, and also one in lively Port Ritchie. Port Ritchie most recently in the news for having a mayor who pretended to be a doctor, I think at one point, who also shot at the cops. But he was a real mayor, right? Real mayor, real doctor disbarred, though, for some pretty sketchy stuff. Port Ritchie, a lot of stuff going on, including one location of the largest and best adult

store in the Tampa Bay area. Todd Couples Superstore. So the Todd has been in. Oh, Todd Couples, another simple sentence. The Todd has been in business for, I got to say, at least over 30 years now. And we would drive by it in the family minivan. And my brother, when he was like, I don't know, five or six, would be like, Mom, Mom, that's my name. Can we go in there?

Please, please, please. And she'd have to be like, no, we really. I'm sorry we can't and he would just be heartbroken every time the Todd Is it because I need to find another Todd? It's a couple's Todd's store

Let me share a few reviews with you from Google Oh thank God The parking lot is well lit And not creepy feeling All right One star review from Zia Williams Drove over an hour to get there

And was denied entry because I hay I hey newborn baby What I understand no children, but a baby in a mother's arms, comma, ridiculous. An hour. Drove an hour with a newborn. Here, baby, hold my dildo. I mean, they're made of silicone.

You ready? From Justin Barnard. I came here because my friends and I was shopping for Halloween, and I needed a corset. Oh, sure, for Halloween. That's why everybody goes to the couple's superstore. We stopped at Wawa to eat beforehand, and I still had my cream milkshake. It was in a clearly marked Wawa. cup if they made me throw it away before i could come inside i can understand if they're worried about

alcohol in the store but it was harmless drink i've carried drinks into much more nicer and expensive stores without a problem because other stores do not treat me like a child who cannot properly hold a drink i wish i could say the same about this all caps adult store oh well no business from me i went i went to the to the to the to the mark down the street and they Let me walk right in with a milkshake. Wait, can we, can we similar these to Jason and have him read it in Herm Edward's voice? I went to the adult superstore. I think you got it.

Yes. I'm always self-conscious about my Herm. I feel like I'm not there. No, you're deputized as hard. I went to the adult superstore with my newborn baby. To buy plenty of silicone toys at home. I don't see what harm she could have had batting her little tiny hands at a, Totally sterile, never been used.

Silicon Dick. It's part of nature. One star review. See, sex toys aren't nasty until they go inside you. Like, I don't understand the harm of brand new sex toys. You peg to win the game. Wow! Wow!

I can't believe you did that. I'm in charge. You're our boss. I'm in charge. Call me a stun devil. For a fuck me sideways. Well, never mind. I guess that's the problem.

That's what you go to the Todd for. One star review from Jan Diaz. I purchased twice tools for my wife and got broken. Tools! My wife? Oh my God. We found Todd couple's wife guy. Like some guy refers to what his wife is like a woodworking project.

Anyway. No, this is what I'm saying. Until you get it home, it's just a piece of wood or silicone. And these things should be like sold at road sides. They're not nasty until you put them on somebody. Oh, yeah. Everybody wants a Shoney's dildo. Listen, man

So Janine went down to the Todd You know what that means Work time Shake this tree When I went back They did not do They did not did anything to compensate me And know just that

A guy thread me It is a very bad customer service And they sell risky tools Risky tools That's a really good name It's a poor workman who blames the tools I think that is an excellent name For such an establishment

I just, this was not my plan, but I just like to say this is the best possible intro to the 40 for 40 season. So again, Ryan's brother's name is Todd Nanny. Yeah. I don't know what kind of business he's in, but please let him know. He's a doctor in the Navy. You know what? You know, his name, his name of German means death nanny. That's, that's Todd with one D.

It's fine. We're just go with it. No. Todd. I think Ryan's brother. name is spelled with Wendy. Wait, Ryan, what does your sister do? She, uh, she works in like education development in Southern California, California.

And you're, uh, and you make stickers, huh? How was Thanksgiving? Love to be disappointing. Didn't have Thanksgiving with my side of the family. You bought it. The 40 for 40. Oh, folks, you know what that sound means. Jumping in with both feet.

That dirge. This year's edition of 40 for 40, the increasingly inefficient and haphazardly arranged collection of micro-previews we do for each bowl game of bowl season. We discuss each bowl game with the proper respect and time it deserves. Are some of these five minutes long? Yes. Are some of them 30 seconds long?

If need be, yes, 40 for 40, an idea that refuses to die, much like this podcast, even though... Sorry, again, sorry. Maybe it should. It was really funny nine years ago when there were 35 bulls. It was just me and Spencer. This year, there's a spreadsheet. This year, there are merely 39 because we have lost one or two along the way. But will the name change to reflect that?

No, not until the Big 12 changes its name. The Big 10 never will. numbers don't mean anything you didn't come to college football for math this year we folks folks out there time for a little digital media inside football to use the popular term

when you put out 40 podcasts is this our new podcast without a podcast inside tech oh look wait wait guys guys guys guys guys guys we're gonna we're gonna launch a box media podcast about technology right now how does it affect us today for instance

Brought you by the Todd adult superset. For those of you cosplaying along as all of us at home, this is right when I announced to Twitter that we invented the Shoney's Dildo less than five minutes into this episode. So to bring you up on the latest in tech news, there's a very tall Xbox now.

And also, when you put out 40 podcast episodes at once, it fucks up your numbers. That's a tech term. So instead, what we're going to do is we're going to do... Hey, dummy, don't do that. We're going to do these as kind of regular-ish episodes. We're going to group these bowl, quote-unquote, previews. They're better than previews because we give you the real facts that the bowls don't want you to know about.

You can say shit. Facts. I said facts. You can say shit if you want. I mean, I'm pretty sure, Ryan, that I'm aware we can say shit based on the things we said in the first five minutes of the episode. Don't shit on your Sony's dildo. Oh, hey, real quick. If you're listening to this with your kids, go back in time and smack yourself.

It's too late. You've got things to explain. It's too late. You haven't done anything wrong in this episode. I'm keeping it moving. This is like the worst thing we've done all year. I'm oiling the gears, the lubricant, if you will. Oh, geez.

By the way, the Las Vegas Bowl used to be sponsored by industrial lube. That's right. So we're actually been on time. Royal purple loob, which all of their promotional materials took care to remind you. was lube for cars, not for people. There is a reason. That doesn't mean it won't work for people, though. Not to let you tell me what to do with your motor oil.

Well, Jason, do you want to explain the premise of this particular package of bowls? Package. So we broke the balls up into very, we wanted to knock out the pre-Christmas ones, and then the later ones are sort of themed. And then we're looking at the list of games in the pre-Christmas bowls, the 10 bowls, and we realized, like, you know, these are all pretty great places to finally begin, to finally launch our due crimes industry by which we become crime lords. And I think in the interest of competition, see what we can do, put the market to work for us.

Let's have a little internal competition establishing four separate crime empires within these 10 bowl games. So we're going to draft them. And then we're going to, I don't know, I guess may the best crime win. Yeah, so we're each going to get two of these 10 bowls. And then we're going to leave two bowls open to you, the listener. You can go over to the shutdown fullcast Reddit page and you can tell us what your crime scheme is for those two. Obviously, we won't reveal those until the end when we know what the leftover bowls are. But based on the 10 that we have available to us, they'll be prime for.

some some heavy mafia action prime crime yeah prime crime uh we randomized the selection order jason you have first pick of any of the pre-christmas bowls so um obviously the Vegas bowl is sort of the highlight of the pre-Christmas games is typically the only one involving a power conference team often the only one involving a rank team uh it's also Vegas and this feels like the feels like too obvious of a pick in a crime draft this feels like you're um i don't want to say chay shung but it feels like you're chay shung i don't mean to impugn his integrity but just in terms of overall upside well he committed the crime of taking money and paying it back well i mean he did use three yeah is that what that means i don't think

i don't think i don't actually i'm actually more concerned that i just bought into what he were saying immediately. So now you know your role in the crucible, right? Oh, fuck. Grandma Rock! What am I doing? I'm pretty sure that's what it means. But the Vegas feels too obvious, but I cannot turn down the Vegas.

And here is my plan. All right. Las Vegas. I saw Goody Harsen with the devil. I seen it. So Las Vegas crime people, they've been going about this all wrong the entire time. Well, not the entire time, but as of late at least, there is already more than enough crime in Las Vegas. The real money is taking the Las Vegas blueprint and franchising it elsewhere.

We need to spread Las Vegas because it is already full to capacity of crime. You need to make a Riet of Las Vegas. What's that? You need to make a Riette. I don't think I know what that means, but that's fine because I'm here to... It's meat in a can. I'm here to do crime. Okay.

And I don't mean getting, like, gambling legalized everywhere because, like, there are casinos in most states and sports betting is spreading and all that. I mean recreating the conditions that led to a Las Vegas existing in the first place. So until the 1930s, Vegas wasn't a whole lot more than an abandoned Mormon fort that during the Civil War, the Union pretended was an actual fort in order to confuse California Confederates. There were California Confederates. That's fucked up. Man. So in the 1930s, we're going to have a Hoover Dam. We're going to build a Hoover Dam.

We need people to build it. Federal workers are showing up. This quintuples, Vegas's population. The Fed set up Boulder City nearby and try to keep workers from leaving there to go to Vegas to carouse. Because Vegas, as soon as this happens, they're like, hey, let's bring back gambling. But baby, they got a carouse. Well, yeah. So their idea was the Fed's idea to keep the carousing within Boulder City was, we'll give them all.

gardens and a theater. Obviously this went great. The feds then spent the next four years trying to stamp out all the gambling. That went wonderfully perfect. There were no problems. The mafia shows up. Bugsy Siegel is routing Midwestern crime money through Mormon banks. The dam is done. The feds leave. And all right, now we have a big playground of crime. I am not interested in competing with the mafia. In my opinion, that's a terrible idea. Instead, I want to make my own Las Vegas. I'm going to make new Las Vegas. How are we going to do this? Fall out.

Very close. We're going to remember history because to build a Las Vegas, first you need a dam. We're going to build it upstream from the Hoover Dam. In Lake Me, we're going to cut off Hoover Dam's flow of power. Not only do we now get to bring in 50,000 federal workers to put in our rowdy new gambling city we built just for them. We've also stolen all the power from Vegas's casinos. Wow. And thanks to the Boise State Broncos and Washington Huskies who are playing in this football game, we have the perfect front man for this whole operation.

No one will ever suspect Chris Peterson. He's too nice. He's too nice. No one has a single bad thing to say about Chris Peterson. He would never lead a crime ring that is too diabolical even for old Las Vegas. Can I give you one more wrinkle to this? Where the water was going to the Hoover Dam, get the Boise people, get the Boise folks come down, paint it blue. know that birds think it's water, so they won't notice that there's no water for weeks.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Genius. Ryan, you're in. You're my assistant crime lord. Also, why Chris Peterson? It's simple. He's already mastered dams. He is eight and one all time against the Oregon State Beavers. Oh, man. Full proof. Well, near Nearly. It's nearly complete. We'll see if I can pull off the other half of the deal here. Okay. Damn. That's good crime. Damn indeed, sir. I'm not going to lie.

I want to know at one point, though, like you give up the ghost on the entire scheme. Because at one point, somebody will go, hey, looks like you're building the dam up there, buddy. No, no, no, no, no. That won't notice overall the racket in Las Vegas. Yeah, and he'll just say, oh, I got, oh, you. You got to talk to the manager about that. He's got the paperwork. I'll say, hey, come on.

It's Chris Peterson. Yeah. Shouts out to the feds, by the way, for thinking that the antidote to gambling was snap peas and Eugene O'Neill plays. That'll keep the fellas occupied. This is like when you have a way too rowdy kid and you're like, maybe he needs to be in soccer. Reading about Vegas history today, it's funny, you mentioned Fallout because, like, I don't even know that we needed this video game. We already have Las Vegas.

Like, the history is, there was a point where... Maybe people don't know. That could be. But, like, there was a point where they were setting off nukes, like, alarmingly close to the city. Oh, yeah. The hotel that... Oh, I'm not supposed to say that with enthusiasm. No, no.

Okay. Well, Vegas did. That's the thing. It's like the hotel that Howard Hughes camped out in. This hotel during the nuke test was like, come on down for atomic margaritas. Yeah. And that's how we got Circus, Circus. I'm going to be real honest.

I can't really explain to you how aroused the idea of playing roulette while they test nukes behind me and I'm drunk as shit. That makes me really, really excited. You gotta go to therapy more often. No, you gotta go to Las Vegas more often. We're going to start a casino called Todd's. And the whole design, it won't be a pyramid, it won't be an Eiffel Tower, it just be a massive phallus towering over the desert. Sure. Great. Holly, you get to follow that with your draft.

I fucking hate following Jason for this exact reason. All right. What's the most primitive stable structure you can create? It's a pyramid. It's a pyramid, right? Or a TP. Yeah. I was going to say a lean to.

Shanty. Go to hell, Ryan. Go directly to hell. anyway so you need three legs to support even the most rudimentary of chairs right of killer robots of skis true r2d2 has three legs that is absolutely true and right wow i don't feel supported in this what i'm saying i'm saying things that help sort of he has his weird he has his weird Third leg. He does.

And C3Pio doesn't. He fucking sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. So the Bahamas Bowl. I'm skipping to the end of my thing. The Bahamas Bowl combines a friendly offshore banking environment with a dedication to protecting user privacy.

The brazenness of. having a Bahamas Bowl sponsored by franchises and municipal concerns that are not even in the Caribbean, let alone in the Bahamas. And then you add in Buffalo with its adjacency to Canada and cheat prescription drugs and history of adjacency to New York organized crime. And you throw in Charlotte, which is becoming a tech corridor and therefore will soon become. our East Coast Silicon Valley Dystopia that's it I'm not doing any jokes

and also you have you have the Popeye's connection another thing that it's still there don't be fooled okay this is a reach at two I thought I thought this might have been this might have been picking a little too

early but I figure between the three of those this is the most stable combination of location and both visiting teams in terms of high upside crime potential. I'm going to look real quick extradition from the Bahamas. I do know they have laws dedicated to protecting banking clients' privacy. I don't know how they compare to those in the Cayman Spencer. Banking, huh? You got Charlotte. So you got a lot of banking going on here. Yeah. See, my proposed trade was this. I think you already have a natural setup where you take tobacco from North Carolina funneled through Charlotte, send it to Buffalo,

smuggle it across the border, because seriously, there's nothing that Canadians love more than smuggling cigarettes into New York. Nothing. Like, nothing will stop it. You can stop cocaine, you can stop heroin. The one thing you can't stop are people trying to get smokes across the border into Canada. So you take that cash funnel it back through there, down to the Bahamas, trade it for chicken sandwiches, take the chicken sandwiches back up to Charlotte, which has no culture whatsoever, you drop some pop-eyes on them, they're going to think that you're Marco Polo coming back with spaghetti, right? There's just people are forced to eat bojangles and you give them pop-eyes and you're a hail

with a god. No, you're already, seriously, you're already regarded as a god there. They're like, what is this spice? Basically, have you seen the gods must be crazy? This is my plan, only the Coke bottle falls in Buffalo. Ah, they do have an extradition treaty. I'm sorry. Oh, fuck.

Buffalo doesn't. Oh, they say they have one. Yeah, Buffalo doesn't. Please, like anyone, you don't need an extradition treaty if it's Buffalo. They're just going to leave voluntarily. I mean, they do call themselves the Bill's Mafia. See, the setup is here. Yeah.

Spencer, you have the third pick. I do. And with my first pick in the draft, I am going to simultaneously select the following locales. I'm going to select Boca Raton twice. and I'm going to select Dallas. Both Garitone? Both Garitone. I'm going to select the rat and the mouth. And Dallas is your other choice?

And Dallas via SMU. Because FAU versus SMU is not just a matchup of two teams that had unexpectedly brilliant ears. No, no, no, no, no. This to me is a marriage of two outstandingly sketchy places with a lengthy history of crime and illicit behavior. I don't really have to sell this to you

because it starts at a place that most people think it's called rat's mouth that might not be a better nickname than anything else for a place where you're going to commit all the crimes, but I should point out the actual meaning is mouse mouth in Spanish. However, I should point out too,

mice steal things. In fact, mice are cute, and that's kind of made them a more effective criminal network than rats because it makes them are criminals by being adorable. Think about it. It's certainly going to work for us. In Florida, mice end up with theme parks and ESPN and rats end up dead in traps. So really, you want the raton, not the rattoe. Boka's pre-wired for crime.

It's on the county line already for the petty stuff and it's got water exits to the east and to the west. I recommend you take the one to the east. The one to the west is the glades, man. You don't want that. But if you really got to hide out there, you can hide anything in the Everglades because nobody wants to be out there ever. The mafia is already there. It's home to Ponzi scheme greats like Scott Rothstein, and yes, the King Bernie Adolph, who had a house there before the feds confiscated it. FAU, the institution itself already had to turn down a stadium rights deal back in 2013 with the GEO group.

If you're not familiar with the GEO group, that is a for-profit prison company founded by an alum. They did eventually turn that down, thus disappointing everyone who fully expected them to take it. Me, namely. The team led Conference USA and Interceptions and a second in fumbles. Theft is built into their game. They never scored on any of those I&Ts, though.

And that's why we're going to need a courier. We need somebody to get them across the goal line, okay? And get the package, if you will, to the end zone. Listener, I ask you, who in the history of college football has been better at securing the bag and delivering it across the goal line than SMU? No one. The Pony Express itself. Dallas already has a long and proven history of moving contraband, but you know what?

Don't limit them just to that. I could call this a simple cocaine ring, but I won't because Dallas has been capable of larger crimes. Hey, what other city in the United States covered up the murder of a president? No one. Dallas. You're the king of crime. Oh, I thought you were to say Boca. Boca? Not that we know of. McKinley died in Boca. People don't talk about it. McKinley staggered that far.

He got shot. And like every good Republican was like, I gotta go to Florida. I'm from Ohio. Crowds gathering along the side of the road. Just let him keep walking. Let him keep lurching. He's heading home.

He'll find the fountain of youth down there in Florida. McKinley lurched 900 miles and then died somewhere outside of Perkins in Boca Raton, Florida. The dream of every Ohioan. To die, gutshot, and happy in a parking lot of a Perkins in Florida. I made it. Go Browns! Tiger was right. Tiger was right.

Go box! Yeah, it's another mobbed up town with heavy crime connections. I'm kind of surprised, by the way, that the Boca Raton Bowl with SMU and FAU isn't already some kind of setup. I will also say this, whatever criminal enterprise we decide to pony up for here, Sunny Dykes is coached in Berkeley, Lubbock, and Rustin, Louisiana. Even if he's not a ringleader, that dude ain't saying it shit. All right, I have back-to-back picks now. Serpentine!

I am going to use my first pick on, I couldn't bring up the Todd and not pick the Tampa option on this list, the Gasparilla Bowl. Brian, you know if you didn't, we were just going to not pick anything else until you did. I know, I know. So the Gasparilla Bowl, formerly known as the Beefo Brady's Bowl, I haven't looked at the Beefo Brady's menu, and I feel like that's, that's Holly's honor to do. So, Holly, if you want to peruse it well and prepare some tasty, a moose-boosh from that, feel free. a makeup call and I am taking it

Then there is So it was formerly sponsored by Beefo Brady's formerly known as the Bitcoin Bowl Oh my God And formerly known as the Magic Jack Bowl Do you know where the first one was? The first Beefo Brady's? Yeah

No I don't Brandon Florida Okay, yeah that tracks Do you know what the guy's name Who invented it was? Brandon Jim! Do you know what his wife's

name was. Denise? Close. Jeanette. Jesus, Jeanette. All right. Sorry, keep going.

I'm going to make the menu quiz. No, it's cool. Spencer, no peeking. So we have UCF in this bowl, best known for trying to slap some paint

on a season and call it a national championship. We have Marshall in this bowl. They're from bootleg in country. And I think you can see where I'm

hopefully going with this. This is also the bowl that used to be played in the world's dumbest baseball stadium. It is now played as of last year in Raymond James, same place where the Outback Bowl is played. So what I'm saying is there's a lot of sort of like making things look like something they're not. So this is my plan for how to commit crimes via this game. The sponsor of this bowl, Bad Boy Mowers, Outlaw, Compact Outlaw for Life. I think we all No, in love. Agreed. This is also your reminder that

Bad Boy Mowers are expensive as shit. Like, I'm on the website now and the compact outlaw... They ain't called broke boy mowers. Again, $6,300... Prices from $6,300 for that. You can go all the way up to

the most expensive is the Diesel Outlaw renegade for $13,599. Are you trying to tell me, you can buy a real tricked-out Honda fit, or you could buy that mower. So here's my thing. Looking to the untrained eye, these are just, these are just lawnmowers that have like a bright orange colored, kind of like a Home Depot orange. So what I'm saying is we sell lawnmowers at the bad boy mowers, uh, Gasparilla Bowl.

they're just regular mowers possibly even use shitty mowers but we paint them orange and we pass them off to people as like oh yeah yeah yeah you got a great deal you can get uh we can definitely get you an outlaw rebel normally goes for seventy five hundred dollars if you buy it today and you write us a check or have cash you can have it for five thousand dollars but they got to buy it then and they got to take it home with them now you're probably thinking who are the kind of people who are going to go to a bowl game and buy a lawnmower. It's the same people who were going to a bowl game in a terrible baseball stadium, so I'm not too worried about that part. By the time they realize that they get the lawnmower home, they realize they've been had, the bowl game's over and we're in the wind, and nobody ever knows, and they're just going to take it up with the bad boy lawnmowers people, not us, because we're just people who were at the bowl game, and like everybody else in Tampa, we all look to like kind of sad and sleepy. Ryan, as a as a logger.

Yeah. How little do you need to change the name of what you're selling in order to to sneak it past? Can you go like B, A, D, D, B-A-D-B-O-Y-Z? Bat boy. Bat boy? Um, like, like Batman? Batman mowers.

Yeah. And to be honest, some of these do sort of look like the, uh, the, the most recent batmobile or the like, um, the Tumblr batmobiles. So I think we can get away with that. This is the orange tumbler. Listen to me, lawn. So yeah, that's my plan for the gas bra. I'm not wearing jean shorts.

Can we make up names for these? For these mowers, sure. Yeah, just sort of give me a name that you think sounds tough. The desperado. Yeah, this is the bow outlaw. Yep, that'll work. Yeah. The big, the big, the big, the big, the big, mean, the big mean villain.

Yep. The orca. This one here's the crowd law. I don't really. Yeah. The only unfortunate thing is the pushmowers are just called pushmowers. They don't get a fancy name. Because they want you to sound like a weakling, even though you're actually doing work.

Yeah. That's the fucked up part. Those still cost $1,100. Okay. So, oh. 1100. this was called the outlaw it's named after the american drama series starring jimmy smits about the law in memphis so that's the other thing is i feel like bad boy moors can't come after us because

that undercuts their whole bad boy like what's less bad bad faster than any mower what's less bad boy than suing someone for fraudulently marketing your product that's not bad boy that's not outlaw man they're just going to show listen if you just said listen i i mean the guys who made bad boy mowers are two brothers from rural arkansas i know how this is going to end they're going to show up and they're going to beat me with a bite chain now counterpoint can i make more than 68 000 the sum that i have decided in my head is the required amount of money for me to take the ass beating and make it worth it i don't know i think i could do it for like 68 70 grand you can beat me with a bike chain for a minute big old redneck that'd be fine

know what happens when you rip off bad boy mowers so like you're hauling ass out of town um and then and then you you look in the rearview mirror and you see here they come some big ass orange mowers peeling down the highway faster than your car somehow is it doing a 180 dear christ it's loud it's the loudest thing on earth just chops you all up spencer i just say you an important instagram on their instagram they have a skeleton with lit up eyes and a bad boy mowers hat sitting on like i guess the uh i guess what judging by the seat size is the stout law it says it says bad to the bone on it the bone is in festive Halloween orange it has 139 likes 140 now yeah

so that's my first pick holly do you have a do you want to do the menu quiz uh i do are you prepared uh i am okay i'm always prepared uh so so as yeah go ahead spencer do you want to explain the history of of what we've done here while i round up just a couple more things this is where i will also let people know that to prove more of my tampa bona fides i have had breakfast instead of beef o brady's tell us everything it was to watch the world cup okay that's different yeah it still was beefo bradies for breakfast i think you're i think you're i think you're trying to beef oh breakfast this is like when the politician eats the corn dog that's thing about ryan's steakhouse you're still still trying to make up for that

i think what we need from you ryan i think what we need from you is for you to say that you love to eat at beef o bradies every day because that's where honest americans no no they they put a new location it's not there anymore pretty close to my parents house and the only good thing about it was that they had um and they had a big NBA jam tournament edition cabinet in the front of the house like by the um by the podium where you'd check in

so you could just go there and not eat Beefo Brady's and play NBA jam and that was pretty good it was right next to the Windexie so beef of Brady's was like for people who were too insecure to eat at Benegans yikes like I don't know Benegin seems too sincere right my heart has been hurt by chain restaurants Benegans is too ethnic. Yeah, give me something a little more masculine

because Benegans, Benegans could seem kind of fate. It is just one word. I need two words, including one, which is overly masculine and stupid. How about Beef O Brady's? That's right. Put the O in weird scare quotes. Well, yeah, that makes it less ethnic. It's not even Irish.

That they doubled up and made a stupidly cartoonish Irish name in O Brady. Yeah. Right? That's like putting two Macs on a Scottish name Like, Mac Mac Manhattan Well, and there's the two little apostrophies Like surrounding the O

Yeah Which is not a real thing It's especially unfortunate Because the way to refer to it In shorthand Is to call it either beefs or beefos And I'm not making I'm not making that up

Like in high school If somebody was like, hey, we're going to beefs That's a thing that you would say Yeah So about the menu quiz which we started many years ago when this menu was deep and ridiculous. And I hate to say that in recent years, it's been homogenized down into a just kind of a Midwestern slop.

You know, they have taken all the cool name. Most of the cool names have been taken off of things. And now, like the spiciest thing you'll find on the menu is a fresh Angus cheeseburger wrap. It used to be about the IRA cheese poppers, dammit. It used to be. Okay. so what I've done here is make up a kind of a historical quiz. I'm going to ask you guys five multiple choice questions. Each of them are going to contain two items that are now or were

previously, honest to God, real Bifo Brady's menu items, and one is made up. I then have two tiebreaker questions just in case at the end. Okay. All right. You ready? Spencer cannot see me. I have turned my laptop. Also, it's been a few years since we've done this, so hopefully you've all forgotten. All right. We're going to start with an easy one because this is, this is the warm up. Spot the fake, bake beef O'Brady's menu item. Is it A, kicking by you barbecue wings?

Is it B, OMG pretzel roll sliders? Wow. Or is it C, the corned beef wanton? I feel like C is real. I think C is the one she tries to trick us with every, year, but we can't remember if it's real or fake. We've definitely heard that. But yeah, Spencer's problem is that he wants this to be real, whether it is or not.

I think, I think, what's the first one? Kickin' Bayou Barbecue Wings. I think that's real. Yeah, and I think the second one is real. I'm going to go with C, the corned beef wonton. The corned beef wanton is the one I try and trick you with every year, and you always fall for it, which is awesome. I was going to say B is fake, and I still think this is correct, even though you've

B is actually still on the menu and should be fake. How could anything about pretzels be OMG? I don't know, but these are the people who have a top shelf Long Island iced tea. Yeah, give me the good toilet. Give me the good shit. Who would like to guess which top shelf liquors are in the top shelf Long Island iced tea? Sky vodka. Can you tell us the liquor and we will try to guess the brand?

Oh, oh, yes. Hang on, we will do that at the end. That will be our... By the way, what a desperate cocktail that named it after a Long Island. Like, that's not a part of the country where he'd go, a drink named after that. It must be reputable.

Carrie, he said it, I didn't. Billy Joel approved. Yikes. No, he would have just called it a suicide. He was absolutely what it is. A grown-up suicide. I wrote a song about Long Island Ice Tees. It's called Side of the House. Okay, so anyway, we're going to do it.

We're going to do the Long Island Ice 2 last. Let's do it. Question two. Yeah. uh spot the fake beefo brady's menu item is it green cheese bacon pub chips beefalo wings no that's real that's or funnel cake fries wow um it's one or three i feel like one is the fake jason jason what was one again green cheese bacon pub chips the problem is that three three might be the answer because it feels

aggressively like a white castle item but I still my heart says one I did give you a slight hint in that this menu has skewed heavily Midwestern and way away from the quirky in the past few years I'm gonna yeah one feels like the false I'm gonna say one is fake because that sounds Irish and they are explicitly not Irish yeah yeah but I said this could be a

historical menu yeah I still feel like it's I still feel like one is not right yeah I'm gonna go with one because three sounds like something that caused a histrionic shit that a Midwestern would tell you about the next morning, right? Like, I had 19 beers. Then I had some green cheese chips. Holy God. Gentlemen, I have snookered you all.

The answer is Bifalo. No! Ryan, Ryan was in on it. Which I cannot believe are not real. I don't know. Yeah, the green cheese, I assume the green denotesque. Ireland and funnel cake fries are a new edition yeah i've never seen those before this year i had three i had three plates of those in 19 beers and four long island ice teas i watched the packers game

i went home i woke up the next morning holy shit it was like flujia in my bathroom all right um question three spot the fake beefo brady's menu item okay is it a tipperary tuna tacos What was that? Was that temporary that you said? Tipperary. Sorry, Tipperary. That's a long way to Tipperary. Long Island tuna tacos. It's a fucking city. The steak burrito with the in quotes.

Yeah, I feel like we've talked about that one before. Or nachos O' Brady. Oh, boy. You might have hoodwinked us again, but I don't have to go with one. No, I don't think it's one because one is to, too plain. I think... Tipperary is a

is a city in Ireland. I think it's I feel like nachos which I must point out is not by the water so don't eat the tuna tacos. You know in future in future years we should have Holly give us a description of each item that she has to prepare

as well. Oh okay. What if in future years we actually prepare and sample each dish? Okay, I mean We're taking Alex to Tampa, let's go Let's see, Beef O'Brady's locations No, no, no, don't do this yet

We've got to finish the quiz I'm sorry, yeah Oh wow, they're all the way up in Kentucky now Oh, God, it's spreading Oh, that explains the funnel kick for us All right, Spencer and Holly, I need you to help me pronounce this, this is a town in Tennessee I'm going to spell it

Oh, O-O-L-T-E-W-A Oh, that's Uduah. Udawa. Udawa, yeah. No, my brother broke his leg there in a football game. All right. So there's a Bifo Bifo Brady's in Udala. I'm sorry.

It's pronounced Udawa. Yeah, it's Udawa. So there's an Udawa Bifos. I knew what he was going to say as soon as you said. Oh, oh, it's like, oh, yeah, that's Ur-Awa. It's actually really fairly close to you, Ryan. It's right above Chattanooga on 75. We will have to.

I think it's like the midpoint for all of us. Oh. Oh, God. It's the Nexus. I think, by the way, we need to do this one. We need to have a Tennessee pronunciation quiz on one episode. That's merble. Yeah, he's like, like, L-E-B-A-N-O-N.

How do you pronounce that? Lebanon. Lebanon. Lebanon. I know that one. I love how you can do this for every southern state. Like, yesterday I was explaining to my daughter the difference between Ponce de Leon and Ponce de Leon. Yeah.

Try Albany. C-Roe. K-R-O-K-R-O is my favorite universal. like Cairo, as in on the shores of the Nile. Nope. Nope. That's Cairo. All right. Sorry. Holly, what is the... I don't think we've landed on an answer. I'm going to say nacho Zobradius, the false entry.

Spencer? I'm still going with one. Tipori, tuna tacos? Yep. Jason? I'm going with one because it's Irish. They're fake Irish. That is fake. You're correct. Damn it. Dammit. Tipperard chin tacos is fake. Nachos O'Bradis. It's still real. Damn it.

I knew that one. I knew Nachos Brady was real. Damn. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. You're very smart. Big boy. I just remember nachos. Our big smart boy. Okay. A, dessert section. Spot the fake Bitho Brady's menu item.

A, the disgustingly named chocolate eruption cake. Disagree. In special partnership with the Todd. Is it B, the somehow more disturbingly named even only in implication, signature Irish Limeade Or is it C Sunday

Bloody Sunday It has to be C It has to be C C cannot be real C isn't real But I want it to be See is a good choice Which I gotta remind you all

Signature Irish Limeid is real So every time you get one of these right It's actually worse You're ratifying the existence Of the others You're right all right final menu item question and then we'll enter the lightning round uh cocktail menu a beef o rita ugh that's that's another one i feel like she either tries to trick us with every

year or tricks us with because it's real and i can't remember a the beef o'rida be the okay keeping my two of these are real a bifo rita b the bifo rita b the bloody o brady or C, the Mosque O Mule. The Moscow Mule, I will say, is real. Because that is so lazy. And I apologize, Holly, if it's the one you made up. But the Moscow Mule just feels like they were like, yeah, I don't know, put it on the menu, whatever.

What was the first one? The beef or Rita, the Bloody O'Brady, or the Moscow Mule. I'm going to say the Mosco Mule is fake. I'm going to say the beef or Rita is fake because I think the pattern so far has been that they will call something blank O' Brady, they will not use beef attached to a non-beef item. Jason?

The beef areida is left over? That's the one I'm saying. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'll take the one that's left over. Okay. The bloody O'Bradie. Smart.

Ryan, your strategy was sound, but these people don't deserve it. The Moscow mule is fake. The beef or Rita is real. No. Right. Lightning round, true or false, the Beefo Brady's menu website currently lists a how-to diagram for the Coca-Cola freestyle machine. Yes, true. True. Correct. B. Question two in the Lightning Round, closest to it without going over, how many varieties of barefoot wine are available on the Beefo Brady's menu? Five. Jason?

One. I'm sorry, the answer is four. Damn. Which I didn't even know there were that many. Closest without going over. But here's the thing. They also put them in the freestyle machine so you can mix them. Oh, man. Lighting around.

Let's keep going. Let's keep going. All right, guys, it's time for the final question. It's time to guess the ingredients in the top shelf Long Island Ice tea. Okay. All right. Vodka. Whoever can guess it first wins.

Okay. Absolutely. no yes god damn it wow all right i actually want to sit back and just see if spencer can nail all them okay let's do it this is your time do you know how much drinking i've done my life yes a lot yeah okay all right all right spencer's got one good rum um let's see it wouldn't be malibu it's going to be um this is an easy one of course it is uh gin kind of a curveball here Hendricks? Tankeray

Hendricks what the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know it's top shelf Tequila Tequila I feel like you're not going to get this Cabo Wabo First of all I didn't know you put tequila in a Long Island But no you're not going to get this one But Patron Orange

Oh orange Yeah Damn they would hide no this this is a quality Long Island ice tea Sour mix on a splash of Coca-Cola How much is this beverage? It doesn't say. That's when. I assume this is because I'm a lady and it wants the gentleman to pay.

I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess they sell this thing for $17. That seems fair. But I bet they have deals on it that lead to a lot of DUIs. They do have a drink that's just called the mule, which... So to be clear, when I said Moscow mule was too lazy, they said, no, sir, we could do worse. I thought you were going to be, to be fair, I thought you would get it to you. easily if I said the peeing yokelotta.

That sounds great. Maybe you'll try that again. There are a lot of different kinds of rum on this menu. The one part of this menu I will not take any issue with. They got Cruzan, Malibu, and Bacardi. Of course they do. The one part of this menu I will take no issue with is a diagram showing how to use that Coca-Cola machine.

I actually might print this out and take it to cook out. Because you see people get lost in the Matrix in those things, man. You see people and go, I don't know. if they're coming back. Me-Maw's just standing at the multiplex and Spencer's Grizzled-Dam just slaps a laminated diagram on the thing next to her. Just get seagrums with lemon. I have explained to people at Zaxby's on two different occasions how to use that machine.

I bet you have. And that's why you're going to the good place. All right, the draft is- Folks, thank you for the many-y-court. The draft is halfway over. I'll kick it back off. This is my last pick. I'm taking the New Mexico Bowl.

Obviously, we're very pissed that they did not respond to our very generous offer. Silence is consent. Of a sponsorship, of a sponsorship that involved zero dollars. So let's review. This game is played in a stadium that is named after a construction firm, Dreamstyle,

and a field that is named after two local attorneys. Their website is a fucking mess. They misspell the names, excuse me, they misspell the names of the people who make the pottery trophies that are given out with this game. Good job. Also, the bull history on the website lists all of them as the Gildan

New Mexico Bowl, even though that has not been true for the last two years, and it was not true for the first, like, five years of this bowl game. So once we do sponsor this game, we'll have sponsored all of them? Correct. Yes, it will, they will all have been the Banner Society, New Mexico. We may not have money, but unlike their last title sponsor, we have a real fucking company. We exist. Rude. And hurtful. As of now, Jim Bankoff, don't listen to this, please. So the other thing about this, Jason, I am correct that this is the first bowl game, right?

On the calendar? The New Mexico? Yeah. It usually is. It's often one of the very first. I don't have the actual schedule right now. Okay. Basically, this game is littered with lies.

The teams that are playing in this are... The Bahamas is the first this year. Damn it. It's fine. It doesn't matter for my purposes. The teams in this game are central. Michigan and San Diego State. Nobody's going, here's what I'm proposing. We're going to take a page from the hit movie, the hit documentary speed, and we're actually just going to play old footage

of other New Mexico bowls. Pop quiz, hot shot. And claim that as this year's New Mexico Bowl. There is no title sponsor, so there is nobody to get pissed about like, hey, I spent all this money and you didn't actually play a bowl game. ESPN is still going to get to broadcast something. I don't even remember if this is one of the ESPN bowls or not, but somebody will get it on television, and it will probably do about the same ratings-wise as the actual game between these two teams would do. And the only people who are going to get mad are the people who bought tickets to the New Mexico Bowl. And by the time, like, their complaint surfaced to the press will be deep in bowl season. Everybody's going to go, fuck those babies who got cheated out of a New Mexico

bowl game. We're here to talk about the good shit. I was trying to do the speed thing on the recorder, but I didn't have time to practice. No, it's fine. So all I want to do is not, all I want to do is cancel the New Mexico Bowl and keep all the ticket proceeds for ourselves. And it didn't have to be this way because if they had just accepted our sponsorship offer, we could have played the game and we could have talked about it. But now we tried to do this the right way. Now official banner society policy, the New Mexico Bowl is not happening this year. I like that we have created a protection.

racket for bowl games. That's right. Be ashamed of something happened to your beautiful December 22nd bowl game. Your beautiful bowl game, whose previous sponsor was fake. Enjoy Christmas at the Phoenix airport, suckers. And your previous sponsor was shitty

t-shirts. That's right. Scratchy. Scratchy as hell, unlike home field apparel. Also, now that we're set up in New Mexico, we can cook meth. What do you do? Shoot the guy in the jacket. Shoot the guy in the colorful jacket.

Shoot the guy. guy in the unmarked t-shirt um that's right it's perfect jesse i don't actually know this analogy spencer you're next up is that from clause he was just even to shoot the hostage um that's not even the same thing that's a hostage situation have you even seen speed i like how you ask that like it was a requirement at film school oh yeah did you see how dare you yon debaunt ushered in and era. Spencer, I find this evasive.

Have you seen speed? Yes, I have seen speed. For context, it's probably time to confess, since we've all known each other for a long time, that this is for some reason the movie I've probably seen more than any other movie in my life. Did you see speed for course credit at the University of Florida? No, I did not. No, but only because it was 1997 and he was still in general ed courses that year. I'm going to move on to my bowl game, okay, which is between Ab State and UAB, that is the Nola Bowl.

We are in the New Orleans Bowl, and naturally I'm going to draft the bowl game that takes place in New Orleans. I'm not respecting your time. You can keep talking. I'm going to try to cite the criminal assets of the participants and the participating institutions, because I assume you already have a lofty, appreciation of New Orleans' extensive criminal background and history as a den of iniquity. You can't really do half steps on this thing. So there's nothing especially crazy about Boone, North Carolina. However, I will say that.

Counterpoint. When my high school boyfriend went there for a college visit, he and his very, he and his very buttoned up parents walked into his dorm and were met, almost run down by a young man wearing a gold LeMay thong and a child's Halloween costume pair of angel wings on a skateboard who turned out to be his RA. That. App State is terrific.

That, and I know a couple of other things about it. The town is named after Daniel Boone, the original Screw y'all, I'm going to the mountains. Also, in his personal life, he spent a lot of time moving and leaving creditors behind. That's a good start for a participant in the New Orleans Bowl.

It's Appalachia. I assume a kind of anti-authoritarianism, border on outlaw behavior is just waiting to occur. There's tons of weed and a ton of weed growing up there. And in addition to that, the program has committed murder because it killed the Michigan football program in 2007. Outlaw all the way. UAB?

Well, first of all, Piki Blinders is set in Birmingham. Is it the wrong Birmingham? Is it? Is it? That's a debate I'd like to start. The football program. Fake their own death to get out of old debts. That's the next point.

Is there a right Birmingham? No, there is no right Birmingham. And the accent is weird no matter which one it is. This is a program that faked their own death and came back to life mysteriously, just walked back in a couple of years later like, Hey guys, wouldn't that crazy? I have a whole funeral for me and everything. That was worse than my hair my words.

That's completely on brand here. Birmingham itself, the city, has a notorious unsolved Axegang murder case, which killed her injured dozens. I'm sorry, did you say axe gang? God, crime used to be so much jauntier. There was an axe gang, and they never really caught who did all of it, even though it killed their injured dozens of people. How do you not catch axe gangs?

They're the guys with the axes. I guess people. I'm not here to tell law enforcement how to do their jobs, but imagine them in the lineup. Oh, hey, him there. Yeah, it's Hatchet Larry. The only other axe gang I know. He's carrying a concealed axe. I guess everybody in the 1920s in Birmingham just walked around with an axe, so it's like,

it could be anyone. Well, you needed one for personal protection. Well, because the axe gang was out there, so you better get an axe. Axes don't kill people, people kill people. With axes. I think the solution is to give every teacher an axe. Actually, the solution is the axe gun, a gun that shoots axes. Shit, yes.

Did I mention, by the way, that Birmingham's legendary, legless, coroner could not solve this case? Now I have to ask how did he lose the legs and was an axe related? One of them was a factory accident. Gina how he lost an axe an axe factory?

Yes, an axe factory in Birmingham's bustling Axis factory exploded and everyone lost their legs. Actually, the second one is nuts because it was a... The first one was very sedate, so I'm glad you brought this up it was a guy the second one was blown off in a train bombing that was that was started and like the whole

scheme was carried off by a guy who was trying to kill one person on the train so he's like i'll just blow up the whole train car did it work no no it didn't so yeah also birmingham solid dixie mafia town and the home of a recent fraud case where multiple alburn athletes testified including Tequio Spikes and Charles Barkley How do you even get Tequio Spikes into a witness box? One limb at a time. You lower you lower him like a statue. No, I mean like, do you like, do you just let him like stand next to it

and just put a hand on the booth? Like, does he swear on the booth? I think he swears on his neck. It's like this powerful volume. You put a Jay Fadler doll inside and he just tackles it. That's right. This bowl game is also, by the way, sponsored by R&L Carriers.

I wasn't joking about Canada's passion for black market cigarettes because R&L Carrey is the sponsor. In 2013, they had to pay $140,000. Can we go back to the Legless Coroner? Oh yeah, he actually is responsible for like a good chunk of the modern police investigation book because he taught everybody how to do criminal investigations because the coroner actually went, threw up the case for murder. Yeah. Yeah, he drew up the case for murder and he handed it. to the judge, and the judge was like, oh, that's the case.

Here, prosecutor, do this. I feel bad imagining him, like, on the train, and he's like, oh, boy, train's late again. But at least I have my one... You'll never guess who was in the train car. Who? Oh, man, it was one-legged Harvey. Well?

And Harvey's, like, Thursdays, man. You know what he... You know what he? You know what? He didn't lose everything in the bombing, though? Dude had nine kids. And that's before he started adopting. And that's after he lost both legs.

I would like to point out that the New Orleans Bowl has the... I should say two of his legs. The New Orleans Bowl has the most impressive shade of any bowl game listing right now. They have the... This is the game where they have a concert. Were they still throwing a terrible concert? They are. And this is the one where they had better than Ezra one year.

They did like a big 90s rap concert one year. This year, the photo for the Friday night concert, it features the B-52s. And it says with special guests... guest Berlin. And right below that photo, which somebody uploaded to the New Orleans Bowl website, it says, 2019 Friday Night Concert, talent announcement coming soon. Got them. This is the only bowl game I have an actual criminal plot attached to. Do you think if we showed up and said it was on the itinerary for us to do a live podcast that anyone would question us? No. Boy, they came with a lot of axes. They did. What are they?

axe gang podcast i only have one so you guys are going to have to bring your own and it's really more of a hatchet but i mentioned axe gang i just think we changed our podcast name to axe gang we should podcast ax p a p a pn got it got there i'm going to the bag policy i'm control effing axe no results were good all right solid the my criminal enterprise here by the way is this what does boone have a lot of weed what does new orleans have a lot of fattening food what does UAB thrive on, particularly their research institution and attached hospital. It is the nation's leading institute for obesity research. I think you see the connection here.

We take weed from Boone, bring it down to the subjects in Birmingham, keep them enrolled, take them down to New Orleans, pat them up, send them back up to Birmingham, do a little more research, just repeat the cycle over and over again and make all three cities fatter and happier than they already are. Good plan. needs more axes but I think we can find some axes in Birmingham because you know what

there's one thing my daddy taught me Birmingham, that's an axe town you better axe somebody I'm happy to report that this this conversation led me on a Google result to a Smithsonian magazine article called the Axemen of New Orleans

preyed on Italian immigrants Oh no No that one's scary That one is deeply serious. As opposed to the unsolved ex-game murders. I didn't actually mean the other one was jaunty. I just said it was jauntier. Spencer, what are your city axe gang rankings?

City axe gang rankings. One, I have to put New Orleans first because the New Orleans ax murderer is mega super terrifying because they actually sent letters. They did that thing where they said, hey, I'm a scared, kill it. The Alabama Axe gang, a little more rancash. Random, a little more spread out, not quite as, you know, terrifying and cinematic, I think, as the Alabama Axe Gang murders.

Finally, the third scariest Axe Gang is the 300 to 500 strong Axe Gang in Jackie Chan's Drunken Master 2 that just attacks him for no reason for like half the movie. A lot of these people, for the record, in the New Orleans Axemen, were attacked with their own axe. which is an amazing phrase that is in police reports from yours gone by and betrayed Lucille how could you Holly you're up next so we

this brings up a little bit of discussion because we had discussed whether to even include the curable in the draft because as we have mentioned on previous versions of 40 for 40 the Cure Bowl is staged in support of BCRF, which is the only breast cancer charity that I would feel comfortable donating to.

They are very highly regarded, relatively low overhead, especially for an organization. Their size, their money goes directly to science. It's terrific. And then Liberty got picked for the Cure Bowl. And I don't know. there is just something about this football program and cutting edge medical procedures

and privately held companies and doctors who may or not be actual doctors that I thought maybe under this umbrella of well-earned goodwill from BCRF I might be able to exploit. I'm just speculating. Anyway, we should move along to Jason's pick. Holly's got liberty

That's enough of a crime ring Looking forward to Banner Society's investigative reporting in 2020 Anyway Yeah don't by the way Don't let Georgia Southern off the hook here Statesboro They get away with some shit Oh yeah what has Statesboro law enforcement

gotten up to recently Hmm Weird So with the final pick here Oh my God There's cocaine There's cocaine falling from the sky How would Statesboro's law enforcement

handle snow. If they try to plant someone Hugh Freeze before the game to get him off the sideline. Hugh Freeze is like, you placed, you swapped my cocaine with worse cocaine. There's snow in his States, bro. These motherfuckers are arresting the street. Hugh Freeze is coaching

in a back to tank from jail. Quick, shoot the clouds. God's dumping his stash. Nice to try, fucking. Hugh Freeze is like, ha ha, you fuckers, you put cocaine in my left pocket. But you I didn't check in my right pocket where I have all my cocaine.

And my crushed up horse tranquilizers. Listen, out there, any cops with the sound of our voices? Please, Hugh Freeze has cocaine. I'm going to be so bad when this podcast gets submitted to a judge for a search warrant. Are you? It's the only college football podcast, Your Honor. They can't lie. The same reputable to me.

Ryan, you've been a lawyer and you're really good at acting put upon. Can you even imagine trying to depose, Spencer? Go ahead, do that right now. Just demonstrate what that would sound like? What did you have for breakfast this morning? No, I don't remember. Sir, can you put the Nintendo Switchdown, please? No.

It's my religion. Sir, I did not ask you any questions about Steely Dan. No, golf star. is my religion. I will put the switch down on my life. No, you may not swear on Garth Brooks box set. That fat man climbed a ladder! Respect my god. My tubby god.

Speaking of tubby gods, you freeze. Just a real, a real big fan all of us here. So I have the... Is he still Liberty's coach? As of this recording, yeah. They're working on an extension to make him one of the top G5 coaches. If he doesn't leave to become Ole Misses O.C. He's more of a G6 coach, and I mean.

Wow. So with the last pick here, it's down to what do we have? The Chamelea. The Hawaii, the Camelia, and the Frisco Bowl. The Frisco, the Tropical Smoothie Cafe Frisco. You combine all three of those words, and that probably is another Beefo Brady's menu item. The Frisco Hawaii Camellia, yeah, absolutely. That sounds pretty good, honestly.

So I began my enterprise trying to start a new Las Vegas. And I think you'll see why this clicks into place as the missing piece. I'm going to take the Hawaii Bowl, and this is going to pave the way to new Las Vegas. First of all, remember the spiritual connection, these two locales share via the UNL Hawaii rivalry, which does have a rivalry trophy. It is a golden pineapple. That is now my, that is now my trinket and totem. So what do we have here with New Las Vegas?

We have electricity from the Hoover Dam, from the Nuver Dam, perhaps we'll call it. Is this Nuevo Vegas? From the Nuevo, New Vegas. From the Nuvo Dam. We have a metropolis of rowdy workers who just want to gamble all day long. That's Spencer's deposition right there. Could you read that back into the record? Could the court reporter please read that back?

Will the witness please repeat himself? So here in New Avo, Vegas, we have all the crime we could ever want, and therefore we have all the money. The one thing we don't have is connections to the region's historic criminal underworld. I have never been a criminal. in the middle of the desert. Let's remember how we got here. Old Las Vegas' history was as a Mormon fort. Bugsie Siegel funneled all that Midwestern crime money

through Mormon banks. Let's remember when Howard Hughes was trying to buy the state of Nevada and his henchmen were nicknamed the Mormon Mafia. Who was playing in the 2019 Hawaii Bowl? That's right, the BYU Cougars. And you know, what do you need in a crime family than a whole bunch of dudes who can work as a team and really like punching other people in the dick.

For money. That's the real story of Christmas. I mean, are they, I shouldn't say this. I haven't watched them enough this year to know if they're as dick punchy now that Bronco isn't there anymore. But I trust them to have a lot of follow through. No, we're going to keep it clean, above board, all that. So that leaves for you, the listener, the camellia and the frisk. bowls will mention them that they exist.

The Camellia Bowl featuring FIU and Arkansas State, the Frisco Bowl with states Kent and Utah. And what's going to happen here is when this episode goes live by the time you were listening to this, we hopefully will have a post up on the shutdown fullcast Reddit explaining the rules of the game and allowing you to create your own crime scenarios within the Camellia and Frisco Bowl universes. go nuts. And if you post them on our Reddit, you are legally not responsible if they happen. That's right. Ryan's a lawyer and he said so. Yep. He's also now your lawyer

if you're within the sound of his voice. Okay, you can do this. I know, I know. Carvana makes it so convenient to sell your car. It's just hard to let go. My car and I have been through so much together. But look, you already have a great offer from Carbana. That was fast. Well, I know my lessons played in my heart, and those questions were easy.

You're almost there. Now to just accept the offer and schedule a pickup or drop-off. How'd you do it? How were you so strong in letting go of your car? Well, I already made up my mind, and Carvana's so easy. Yeah, true. And sold. Go to Carvana.com to sell your car the convenient way.