Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40, 2019 Edition: Which Bowl Foods would kill Ryan the quickest?

Episode Date: December 27, 2019

Technically, this is the bowl preview episode that contains both semifinal games. You will therefore not be surprised to learn that we spent most of our time discussing Potato Bowl recipes, Outback menu nutrition information, and whether all citrus fruits are actually just oranges. You're welcome! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to the shutdown forecast. colorful, funky arrangement of the shutdown fullcasting that you heard coming back into this edition of Banner Society's only college football podcast. Wow. We have an NFL. That specific is so rude. We have an NFL podcast too. Right.

PAPN, everyone should listen to it. It's great. We love them. We think they do great work. They're just not a college football podcast. It's an AFC South podcast. Yeah, AFC South. I appreciate the regionalism there.

That's good. That's what the NFL's known. for catering to local color and interest. But Elliot huge Colts fan. And Mence. Thank you, Corey, for that arrangement of the shutdown full cast theme song.

I did just get one in the inbox that might rival that, though. It's the Fulcaster version. It's got Marimba. It's very sexy. I don't know if it's as sexy as Corey's version. We'll just have to... Just differently sexy, yeah, it is. It's sort of like the difference in sexy between Nick Saven and

Jim Harbaugh, right? One is terrifying and alienating and the other one is alienating and terrifying. Like I said, Banner Society's premiere podcast. They go out and they talk to parents. They go out and they talk to parents and they're like, let him, let him live with me. Let me take care of it. You know what I think of whenever I think of some coaches going out to recruit? Yeah. I think of the scene in the hills have eyes where they like the mutant hill people find a baby and they debate whether to adopt it as one of their own or eat it. Yeah. That's what I think of when I think of Jim Harbaugh going into a home.

Let me take him to the hills. He'll be, you'll be just like me. Anyway, that's a weird way to bring up that these are the food bowls. I don't think that's weird at all. The baby bowl is not on here, thankfully. Let me feed your child. Y'all, I've got enough talk about food bowls in our last episode. Yeah, I'm sorry.

I should have saved all the good Garth breakfast talk for this one, but I didn't. It's all right. Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. This is not one of those times. I forget, do we have a goal with this? You know, let me back up. That's a question I could ask about this podcast on any individual episode in its existence as a thing at any point in time. So I'm going to retract that question.

Thank you. And I apologize for bringing it up in the first. Retract what question? Yep. So these were kind of like this is, I really wasn't listening. If you're making a group of bowl games, food jumps out as an obvious unifying theme. And I think we have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven left over. You would think there are more food bowls than just seven.

Jason, before we get started, what is food? Food, explain. I am, I wasn't on the episode you all recorded. What was the justification for not including? including the Cheez-It Bowl in this list, other than it was earlier. It's clearly not food. Sheets aren't food. Okay, that's fair. It's a building material that you can eat that's different.

Yeah. Because Air Force is in the Cheez-It Bowl. Yeah, okay. Okay. How are you going to dishonor our troops by calling them food? Wow. I am the asshole here. Yeah.

What a new experience for you. Many of these are older bowl games, which I adore, because when naming things for an attraction that started in the turn of the century and into the 19th, teens and 20s, the most attractive thing that you could do to get people in was name it after food, right? But that's not even how it happened because they were just like, so, so I'm working on a piece about this, which hopefully we'll go up soon. I don't know. but like the rose bowl is the first one and the whole reason it's the rose bowl is because there's the tournament of roses which predates it which is just like gardening fancy gardening shit whatever so the problem is all the copycats decide like oh you need thing that grows plus bowl and that is the secret sauce to how you name a postseason game all right but that's what

places this is how far removed we are as an economy from anything useful or productive right that back then it was, well, what do you guys do? Like, we make things that people can eat. Now we're like, that's quite. Right. But that people also were like, oh, oranges. Orges. That's something to get excited about. We got to go to Miami and see the oranges.

What do you do? It's got a trophy full of oranges. You don't just get those anywhere. Right. It's like a Charles Dickens short story. It is. Like the sugar bowl. Oh, my God. Where can you get sugar? Yep. Yeah. There's a very boxcar children flavor to all of these

I found a peach pole the one that doesn't quite fit is the fiesta bowl which I like because they just called it the party bowl and it's the major bowl that actually got popped for corruption and partying too much it also I wouldn't eat a party bowl I also assume we're putting it here because it is it was so long affiliated with tostitos that it was the one

tramps yeah yeah it's just like oh yeah it's the chips you buy when you forgot to get chips. I could get what group I had it in. But yeah, I think that was the reason. I'm looking through their other sponsors to see what other. They also had sun-kissed. It's kind of food. Yeah.

Battlefrog. You could eat a battle frog. How long do you think you could live on sunkissed and tostitos? Sunkiss, tostitos and battlefrogs? And frogs. Because that's your protein. I think, no, forever. I think that's a complete, yeah. No, what are you missing? Okay. You're like, so

you're like the American expat living in Cambodia on this diet. Yeah, you're getting fruit. Protein fat, vitamin C, a little bit of carbohydrate, right? Like, all natural fruit from your sunkissed. Fuck, we can, we can, guys, we can convince people that this is like the fad diet of 2020.

Guys, we're sunkiss stettors. Also, this has been sponsored by IBM and PlayStation. So if you would like to become a cyborg, you can eat that stuff too. sure yeah and who wouldn't I don't think that's how it works but I also don't know that it's not so Ryan eat a computer all right I'll be hey can you you got this I'll be back in ten minutes yeah sure eat a computer so I was I was gonna say I wasn't trying to explain what food is I was sort of going to propose an organization I was asking yeah well I

I mean, I don't know what it is if you really think about it, I guess. So, so I say we do it this way. I was going to suggest that we come to an agreement and accord a ranking of these foods. Right. Ryan, what do you have? Well, I was going to say, what if we rank, what if we rank these bowls based on how long could you live just eating this? Hmm. Okay, yeah, that's, that's good.

That's good. Like you, you personally or the you gen pop? I'm fine with either one. I'm fine if we personalize it. How long can we keep Ryan alive? That's fine. We can make it about my sad body. That's cool.

We could. Okay. Jason should be moderator because the rest of us have sad bodies, but not him. Okay. He's a normie. Speak for yourself. On the outside. Goodness.

What? He's touching his stomach. Oh, calm down. He's touching his stomach. I don't like it. I'm in peeked. See, now you see how I suffer. I know.

I know. I'm going to throw his phone just to see what it feels like. It feels good. It's great. Oh, it feels great. Let me tell you. All right. So I guess the question first is then how are we differentiating the citrus and orange

bowls? Welcome to our production. I mean, I think the citrus bowl, it's just more encompassing. It's just offering. It includes oranges. So would you like specifically just oranges or would you also like lemons, limes? Lemon, limes. Are mangoes citruses?

I don't think they are. I don't think they are. Tangelo's, tangerines. Those are oranges. Let's be honest. do we need a Jason's daughter ruling on this all fruit is oranges I think she'd break it down as oranges lemons

and actually no she does have very detailed orange opinions I'll say like I'm going to get some oranges she says get the cuties yeah and I'm like I'm like if they're on sale she's like mm it's like it's like Fuji apples I'm like do you want an apple she's like is it a Fuji

right whereas you are you are like a super nintendo character where you're just like it's an apple I found I found it in a barrel that I fell off a tree and it gives me one one hit point right I punched this crate open and there was a turkey inside so I ate it what's the problem it's red that would be the can you just think about by the way video game experience that would be the weirdest goddamn day of your life yeah you punched a crate yeah it exploded and there was a turkey in it on a plate you just ate it yeah and you felt strong

I mostly want to know like what the fuck's going on at that box factory where they're like hey who keeps putting machetes in the boxes they're just plain boxes why did you put a whole

pizza in here I'm doing you kiss my ass I put whatever I want in this box also please don't make the boxes so easy it just have two kicks and then it exploded what the fuck guys

I'm putting eight gold bullion in here and a turkey It's for the hero The hero who will save us all But how do you know? You'll see You'll see We're just leaving it on the sidewalk Any child could come kick it

Then boom They've got a they've got a shotgun and a turkey Oh you don't want children to have shotguns and turkeys now Someday some guy With an incredibly huge backpack's going to come along He's going to need all this Someday the mayor who doesn't wear his shirt Yeah

Someday the hungry is The hungriest man in the world is going to come through here. Fuck, I just love that a video game company in the 80s was like, okay, our super huge mustache muscle hero, what should his job be? P.S., he just wears sort of like a bandalier. He doesn't have his shirt. They're like, he's the mayor. Problem solved.

That's how we create stakes. Yep. He's the one who's rescuing the president's daughter. Is that right? He's rescuing his own daughter, I believe. The president is involved in this in some way. Always in some way. So he's a negligent but ripped father.

Yeah. As we all want. The dream. You knew I was going to say. Folks, if you have any bad dude's lore, please pass it along. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My latest, the dream was the dude who said he had bees for teeth.

I'm sorry, what? Never mind. That's a dream, dream. So are we going to, are we going to draft? No, I mean, like, I want this. I want this for my life. So we're going to try to keep video game Ryan alive. Yeah.

What if, what if we assign like a point value to each of these? Like how many, how many hit points will this recover? Yeah, maybe hit points and like statistical buffs. Is he our collective Zoom? Yep. That sounds about right. Please. Is he our fleshy Tamagotchi?

Please don't leave the, please don't take the ladder away from the pool. I think. Um, all right, can I put sugar at the bottom then? because sugar has to be the one that provides the fewest hit points. No way. Sugar gives you energy. Sugar gives you like a stamina boost. Sugar can also take many forms.

Like we might just feed you cheer wine. Okay. I guess I just don't really want to live on sugar for all that long. You're a video game. Well, you're not going to live long anyway, right? You're going to get killed and respawn like every 10 minutes. Would you rather watch Georgia versus Baylor in football? That's okay.

So that's really the great, the better question here is, Would you rather eat this food for four hours straight or watch the game in question? I think, by the way, this game, on an actual football note, if you want to watch the darkly funniest game, like the way this game is going to play out, Georgia will get a 14-point lead and then be unable to expand on anything past it. Baylor will claw back in installments that are Auburn-esque, meaning I think they'll get safety. Right. Field goal.

Right. one point safety and it'll end up being an wild card draw two it'll be a 1511 game coupon I just surprised we've accidentally backed into talking about these games

yeah no you won't be able to turn it off it's the problem I have one question what does Georgia do if they win this game because they spent all last year being like no man full games you know who cares about the non-playoff games we weren't trying Texas ain't shit so they remember what they did when they beat fucking Hawagie in this game.

They talked about it for a decade. Yeah, okay. No, mind. You're right. You're right. We beat up 165 pound cold bread. How you like them apples? All right.

So sugar, let's say I have 100 hit points. I feel like sugar can't be more than 15. Like, I get what you're saying about energy and maybe gives me like a little bit of a speed boost in the short term. But it can't actually like restore meaningful hit points. What if sugar does this? Sugar takes 10 of your hit points and turns them into manna. That's fine. Yep.

That's fine. Oh, God. It's like an after burner. Baylor's, Baylor's really not going to be happy that you brought dark magic into this. Yeah, well, neither is Georgia. A whole bunch of Baptists in one building pissed off at Wizard Ryan. Huh?

What's Manna? Oh, it's how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. Okay, that's fine. Actually, manna, that's a bread in the Bible. Just tell them that. Damn. Good point. we're good here

peach ball I'm gonna go ahead and put I'm actually gonna put the outback above sugar because that will kill you so fast it will either way so the outback all right so here's what the outback is the outback then is it gives you like let's say 20 hit points but it also poisons you so you immediately start losing

hit points until you find you have to go back to outback to get the antidote which actually just takes you down another 10 hit points right now this is where our subject being Ryan comes into play. Sure, yeah. Because that applies to most people. However, he has demonstrated an immunity. In fact, Outback triples his strength.

Right. It unleases my alternate form, beast master style. He sprouts all sorts of onion-y spindles. Yeah. A protective outer casing, if you will. A shell, a fried shell. Uh-huh. He, his head begins oozing orange sauce that damages.

He can decide the outcome of football games at will. Brundle Fry. Yeah, this is part of our new video game, Jordanite, where you unlock the skin to be Onion Man and play a game set in North Central Florida, where you build shanties to protect yourself. Yeah. Yep. Jortnight, available free because it's valueless.

Uh, Outback. Yeah, I don't, I don't think I could eat four hours about back. just straight so i will pick watching minnesota auburn over that because i i think i would physically have to tap out after because the problem is there's not can you eat for four straight hours besides like popcorn because it melts down into nothing i think i think i can like at a as long as there's like a leisurely paste to it i could eat peaches for four hours or oranges for four hours i wouldn't necessarily enjoy it but i wouldn't be like i physically cannot do this Tostitos for four hours

You could probably do it You'd like Your mouth didn't get all cut up And it's so much salt though Yeah you're not gonna feel good But like You're saying so much salt Like think about literally everything outback

What do you think is the healthiest thing on the outback menu? It's blue my onion That's not true The bread That's not true Oh they have new items This is terrifying But I want it to be

It's so good Good. Outback bowl menu quiz. It's not the Garth Brooks Bowl. Wow. They do. They do. This is terrifying. While we study the outback menu, I'll buy us some time by noting it is quite possible to eat too much. We've already done like a 40-minute production meeting in this episode. Yeah, that's fine. Folks are getting behind the scenes. This is all very excited for them, I'm sure.

It's like taking a tour, tour. It smells funny back here. Getting the shutdown full tour. So Emily, when she was pregnant with Evie, her pregnancy food was fruit specifically if i recall correctly pineapple she had a shitload of pineapple she had so much pineapple she passed out and had to go to the hospital and they were like how much fruit did you eat i only bring this up to say ryan be careful eating peaches for four hours okay all right what's fair um yeah the the the salad options at so there are two soups

you can get it out back steakhouse uh chicken tortilla soup which like Like, okay, that's not bad on the health scale. Yeah. The other one, to no surprise, baked potato soup. They're like, oh, you got so close to making a good choice. And then you did this instead. I'll take the soup with lard in it, please. Yeah.

What is the next food that's not been made a suit? What is the next like steakhouse food that has never been a soup that is going to be a soup? Steak. The answer is steak. Yeah. Oh, never mind. Okay. Bees is blended steak.

I was going to say onion rings, but that's kind of. I know what French onion soup is in some ways. Kind of. But we could go harder, I suspect. I'm just going to go ahead and call it the Fortress of Solitude soup because it's ground steak. And we float the onion ring sticking out of it on the top like the Fortress of Solitude. Right. Right.

Right. The salads available. There's a Caesar salad, which is, again, total bullshit. And there's just the house salad, which I think is made to be like, you won't actually buy this. you won't actually purchase this is it is it's got like it's got like the word like lame written next to it

man I gotta tell you there are there are more things that are there are so many things on this menu that are over a thousand calories it's horrifying the house salad has if you order it it has a warning that's like while you're waiting for your house salad we will hang a placard over your neck

it says huge bitch It's just saying Don't ask why Is that like an Australian thing? Yeah, yeah, mate Yeah It kind of is It means you're a proper cut

And a legend Oh man Yeah you can get a steak cassidia and fries At Outbang Steakhouse For just the low low cost of 2,000 calories This is bang for a fucking buck to me A thousand calorie cassidia. Don't worry.

It has 3,200 milligrams of sodium. Dear. Like Outback might be, if we, here's what we want to do. If we end up with a water shortage and we like, hey, we need to desalinate the oceans. All we have to do is like triple the number of outbacks in the world and they will somehow need the salt. And that's how we'll get fresh water again. More blooming onions. More blooming onions.

God. I would also like to point out that when you order a beer at Outback Steakhouse, they come in three sizes, small, midi, and big bloke. Boy. How are you going to order a midi, man? What a delightful, what a delightful camera. You're going to feel like such a loser order. Again, if you ordered the midi, we take the big bitch placard.

They put a sign on you that says middy bitch. This would actually work. This is how sad. America is when it comes to eating and drinking, if you actually had to wear a sign that said huge bitch around your neck, right? Like guys would go, guys would be like, oh man, I better order the big one. They're going to make me wear the sign. Fuck you. All of his friends would be like, yeah, you need to do that because we're going to make fun of you for wearing the sign. So yeah, what are you making me eat after the Outback for our misery? Boy, you know what? I like how you

already sound defeated. We've made it through two. I'm going to go ahead and keep it basic. We're going to the potato bowl, right? I need to go ahead and level you out. So I feel like we're getting the heavy stuff out of the way. And then there is light at the end of the tunnel here. Can I, while you guys are doing this,

can I take an annual visit over to our buddies, the Idaho Potato Commission blog? Let's see what recipes I've cooked up this year? All right, cool. I'll be back. But we're going to go ahead and we're going to go ahead and level Ryan out because there's no telling what's happened to his blood work after eating everything inside an outback, right? This, by the way, in an apocalypse situation where you're just trapped inside the outback and you could only eat what's in the outback. Yeah, there's zombies outside.

Yeah, there's going to be one point where you're just like, well, all that's left is pie. Oh, no. I don't think they have pie. No, they have brownies. They have like a hot brownie that they serve. Is that called pie in Australia? All right, here are your choices from the Outback desserts. Let's talk about your working knowledge of Outback desserts.

I have the menu open. All right, here we go. I'm talking to Spencer. Callback, salted caramel cookie skillet. If it's not a skillet, Garth won't eat it. Garth won't eat it. Triple-layer carrot cake, New York-style cheesecake, and the signature dessert. Chocolate thunder from down on.

That's the brownie, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's, it's the Thunder Farm Day. It's a brownie. It's just a brownie. Halbach's a good place to take kids, okay? Is it? Yeah, it is.

It's great. You know why? It's all right. It's a good place to take kids when you want to be like, hey, you got all A's or, hey, you turn 10, and, like, we're going to do something fancy. And they don't know that, like, $15 is not an expensive steak. No, it's the most expensive steak in the world for them. To a 10-year-old.

Right. Right. Okay. Yeah. That's good. Also, they bring bread with a quickness. Like, if you ever had to, like, impress an 11-year-old that you were trying to, like, get to fund your business, you would take them back to stick. I like that you thought about this.

Listen, I'm always looking for new ways to expand the Banner Society business. And if that means buying stakes for 11-year-olds in a secure, safe business environment, so be it. This means some part of your brain actually thinks Richie Rich is real. Prove he's not. prove he's not Mr. Rich to you and your robot made I'm going to present

a compelling argument I brought you this chocolate thunder from down under to celebrate our relationship and also so you the 11 year old can laugh at the obvious poop pun this guy gets it this guy gets it here's a million dollars all right folks I'm back

so the Idaho Potato Commission has a blog as we know, led by our friend Dr. Potato, you can also, they have like a little, he is pantsless, which is incredible. He's an osteopath, right? He has to be an osteopath. Oh, absolutely. They also have a little clippy guy this year whose name is Spuddy, who was wearing what looks to be like a rugby type shirt, sneakers, no pants. You can create a Tater account, but what I really wanted to tell you about is they have a Christmas only recipe section this year. And I went to do a quick, a quick spin through this just to see, just to see what horrors.

Yeah, lockas are not in here, by the way. Wow. Like the best, the best holiday recipe. It said holiday recipes and I clicked through, not a lot could it be found. Wow. So I'm going to go in ascending order of horror. Because the thing with the Idaho Potato Commission blog, long time readers of us, it's their primary focus of turning

non-potato-based foods into potato-based foods. God, we got to get a beef-oes out in Idaho. We really got that's the, that's the key master you know, gatekeeper like that's where it is. Maybe this is our next career change. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So,

in ascending order of horror, Idaho potato brioche muffins. Okay. Which potato bread is a thing. So sure, fine. Yeah. I mean, this is a little odd, but okay. It's like I really need to use up these potatoes. Um, in that same vein, potato cinnamon rolls. My mom's here. Hi. Uh, mom, you want a potato cinnamon roll? I don't understand why it's a potato bowl. No, okay. Okay. Okay. That's valid. I hear you. You know, I don't either.

The next one is, uh, Garth, belly up, loaded breakfast pot pie. Oh, no. Which can, No, no, no, which contains a filling, the recipe calls for making a pot pie filling of onion, green bell pepper, four baking potatoes, eight eggs, only eight slices of bacon, two cups of shredded cheese, and this is my favorite part, half a teaspoon of salt. How do you decide that pop pie is not rolling hard enough for you? Oh, no. Oh, no, you're not even to the big part yet. the recipe calls for making buttermilk biscuits alongside this filling and just putting all of the buttered milk biscuits on top of it and baking so it's like a some shepherd's pie bowl yeah okay it's not shepherd's pie it's like formed biscuits here let me let me oh it's like a bunch of biscuits just

sitting on top of a pot pie but you bake them in the same thing you make sort of you make sort of like a breakfast swamp I guess I'm sure this is a midwester thing that they already know this is also not the most upsetting thing I've found. Ryan, are you in a position where Spencer can see your computer screen if I said you guys a photo? Uh, yes, I can, I can do that. Okay, I'm going to work on that. One more thing. There is a Baklava style layered dessert, holiday Idaho potato casserole with papayas and pineapple that includes raisins and parmesan. So this, this biscuit set up is sort of like the planet in alien aliens actually where they're like oh look let's see what oh no like it looks like the biscuits going to open up and a face hugger will jump on you

and his name is his name is jerry and he is a trucking license yeah yeah something's hatching something's hatching either uh ryan are you where spencer can see your computer screen yes okay i'm going to send this photo of cheesy mashed potatoes from the blog and i want you to just capture his reaction. Okay. Okay. It's uploading now. The fuck.

I found this extraordinary... What's wrong with y'all? Wow. What did live do to your shit? This is upsetting to me even as a cheese enthusiast. This is like, that's thicker than Froya. It looks like ice cream. Yeah.

It does. It looks like homemade ice cream. It's also sort of taking the shape of like a femur which is a lawyer. Yeah? Yeah, it looks like if somebody just sort of like decided to play taffy pole with the top of devil's

tower. Like this person is trying to preserve that. Like how do you dole out servings of that? What is wrong with the middle of the country? Good Lord. First, I'm going to strap you to this table, Mr. Bond. Anyway, thank you. Thank you, Idaho Potato

Commission for continuing to push The boundaries of sanity? All right. I got to say potato has to be... I don't think potato is any hit points gained. I don't think it's any lost. No, no, it's neutral. What if you have to eat that stuff I just sent you?

I think maybe, like, it would provide a protective carapace. I think... What if potato, it just restores you to 50 hit points no matter where you are? If you're at zero, that's great. If you're at 100, uh-oh. Right. Nope, taking you back to... Potato is our health.

That's true, because... like if you are if you are like really hungry and you're like fuck i really got to eat potato's a good choice if you're already feeling good a potato's a terrible choice to be like you know what here's a nightcap i'm up at 3 a m i can really go for a pater yeah but later realization do you know what do you know what else potatoes do they absorb salt like if you're making soup and it's too salt yeah yeah throw in a potato and it will so this may actually reverse Jason's on to something.

This can reverse damage done to you by earlier bowls. By the outback, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think you can go ahead, by the way, and also... I wasn't going to single out the outback,

but I'm glad we did. You can also just code in a serious energy drop 20 minutes after consumption, right? Like, add 50 points, and all of a sudden, your speed drops to like two. Mm-hmm.

Oh, no. So, also, Boise does have a beefs. It's in the same... What? Yep, it's in the same facility as a massage. parlor and across the street from a taco bell so we're going to be doing a live show there is what i'm hearing best best proposal location ever hell yes um i guess the citrus orange and peach are all going to get

sort of clustered together right i'm any i'm going to go ahead and like the peach is going to go i'm going to put the peach behind the orange just because uh wow just a slap in the face to the legacy of John Wu's face off. That's so specific. We are literally talking about eating food for hours here. It's so specific. I'm also putting that, by the way, because if OU and LSU are in that, you know, they're going, like, they're going to get it.

Yeah. Yeah. There's not going to actually be any food for you at the LSU. That's fair. What happened? Do you eat them all? No. I'm trying to imagine if you went to an LSU tailgate.

we're just like, hey, I'm just going to eat this peach. Like, you'd probably get shot, right? Brian, they're going to give you like deep fried peach. Yeah, they're going to be like, give me that to a peach. Hold on. We got an 80 pound peach roasting on the spit. I got a peach. That bitch ain't been in the smoker.

I got a peach in this peach for 24 hours. I brought that peach down with a 22 this morning out of the window of my truck. You eat this peat. I look out of winter and I see a peach walking through my yard. You eat this peach. It's attached to the. boy that I'm roasted right now. Double tap this piece. They hand you a

piece that's like it's skewered on antler of an indetermined creature. Is this peach? I made that bear eat peaches until it blew up. Is this peach full of blood sausage? How did you grow this? I will find an LSU fan somewhere in this world who says they bow hunted a

piece. I will. Okay. A peach ate my daddy. And now I would return the favor. I do think it's, I do think it's delightful that Joe Burrow went to the bowl that shares a name with the butt emoji. I think that's really good.

The universe finds its own level kind of thing. What's going above the peach and the orange or the citrus? I'm going to go to the orange and then the citrus because the citrus is going to provide you with the greatest variance. Yeah. Right? In terms of the amount of citrus and the type of citrus that you're going to be able to eat. even if that includes useless cum quads I almost want to knock it down

because cum quads are in there I mean fuck cum quads Okay Would I rather watch Florida UVA Or eat oranges for four hours They're pretty similar Because from a distance From far away I can be like

I'm excited about that But then the closer it gets It's like oh no Why have I? Oh Jesus Yeah also you shouldn't lose to oranges Shouldn't lose to UVA Yeah and you're just going to be sort of messy

and sticky at the end of it And be like oh I made a bad bad choice um just eating citrus for four hours i can probably do that also like going to the orange bowl you probably end up with a cold sore yeah that's true um but i think i would rather watch michigan albama than eat citrus for four hours straight all right the list of citrus fruits wiki page yeah come on man what do we count that's a lime that's a lemon that's an orange that's like everything green on here is a lime stop playing there's grapefruit uh-huh but that is whoa whoa what is this thing what is this thing what is this thing what is this thing called buda's hand

oh you never seen a buddhist hand lemon no oh yeah yeah it's a it's a it's like a it's like a it's like an annihilation lemon okay but yeah all this shit is just this is all three things and then there's grape fruits that are very they should call it the annihilation lemon instead that'd be way better. Buddha's hand is a pretty good name. Yeah, it's fine. I think both names are, both names are good.

Oh, I forgot. Satsumas are delicious. I think it would really be excited. I think it's that Buddha's hand would definitely be like creepy lemon. Satsumas are oranges. Yeah. Right. Hmm.

But I think that's all like leading up to, I think cheating is fine because the categories are just so obstruse anyway. And I want you to stay alive as long as possible and also feel, or one might say, you know, felice about this whole thing. Festive. We have to end the Fiesta Bowl. Yeah, right. Right. The broadest range of food.

This is all, by the way, of all saying, too, I only know one of these where I know you can get cake. And my motivations are personal here. At the Fiesta Bowl? The Sugar Bowl has cake? No, no. The Sugar Bowl, you need. more things than sugar for cake. You know, Sugar Bowl just has sugar.

It's just a pest problem. That's the point of cake. It's a sugary delivery method. I don't know, because if that were true, then Spencer wouldn't have said he specifically would eat just cake. He would have said he would have cut to something like popsicles. Yeah. Popsicles are a more efficient delivery method for sugar.

Cake is delightful. I don't know. It has wood in it, and you're not going to eat the wood. Syrup. What about syrup? Syrup? Yeah. It's pretty good.

Maple syrup? I mean, have you ever actually tried to chug maple syrup like they do in Super Troopers? It's not easy. You'll feel very bad. Yeah. You'll feel very bad, very fast. Okay. So at the Fiesta Bowl, I am now eating cake.

Oh, all kinds of stuff, man. Okay. Oh, just anything party-oriented. Any party food? This is, like, this is cheating. This is opening the door. There's a trap door in the definition of Fiesta that allows us to just put pretty much anything in the door we want. So Ohio State is bringing, um, Ohio State is bringing pictures.

and a blanket to this fiesta, right? Oh, yeah. Like, that's the most Ohio State party food. See, like, if I give you like South Carolina, I'm like, okay, South Carolina's having a party. All right, we're moving at like

120 miles an hour. We could get a low country boil in there, right? We can get some decent barbecue. We can get a lot of interesting good food in there. Let me put a restrictor plate on the whole thing

by inviting Ohio State. We're bringing Frankfurter's and custard. You can eat them together. That's fine. Slayer him. They call that a winter dog. We're bringing hot plate.

What's your sort of neighborhood restaurant? Wendy's! The good thing about the Viesstable is this is the only one on here, I think, that provides vegetable factor because you're going to get like celerys that you dip in range dressing. And if Ohio State's coming, there's going to be ranch dressing. Maybe not celery, but yeah. Well, it's just already there because it's a fee. Yes, so. Whenever you declare something a party, celery naturally appears, whether anyone's going to eat it or not.

Why are you putting protein powder in the mac and cheese? Bro, can you do that?