Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40 FINAL BOWLS: Clear Eyes, Bulldongs

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

Arizona State in the quarterfinals lmaoUnfrozen cavemen love this Rose BowlYes, we recorded this during BULLDONGSKirby Smart discovers CatholicismLane Kiffin's LumpsTaxTheme by Russell PowellListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

I'm going to be able to be. Welcome to the shutdown full cast. We are in the home stretch of 40.4.40. That is our bowl preview series where we talk about every single bowl and playoff game for exactly the length of time required to discuss it. And no more. And no less. I'm Spencer Hall. I am joined, as always, by Jason Kirk.

Ryan Nanny Holly Anderson and on the ones and twos Michael Serber we are so close to being done so let's go ahead without further ado

what's next y'all next up we have so we finish with Penn State Boise State in our last episode that was one of the quarter final games and up next we have more of them

beginning with a team that as of week four was ranked number one in the country and another team that as of week four was three and one which at the time was an incredible achievement for the three and one team because they had won only three games in each of their previous two seasons it's texas arizona state in the pause pause peach ball all right that's right it's here um the the the the least predictable playoff the least predictable college football playoff game of all time actually How about that? No one saw this coming.

That's true. Although I feel like Arizona State, the best way to say exactly where they are in terms of roles here, they have gotten to the part of the Zelda map that you can't unlock yet. Right? There's a cliff that you do not possess enough stamina to climb. Yeah, you don't have. You need ice arrows to come over here. I think they are the point in the game when they have left the opening area and they are looking out across the cliff and they see a big huge castle and they're like they don't even have any pants on Arizona State and they're like let's go get them Arizona State is attempting to do a no-close speed run which again that's that's that's how you get a master's at Arizona State yeah it's been a very very very fun season for Arizona State fun likely pauses here

doesn't end because again it's Arizona State fun will never stop but uh yeah this is uh Texas is such a funny path like that's in this format the key to uh having a really great playoff path is to finish like fifth or sixth not first apparently because uh texas with you know just little old clemson the uh the least accomplished team in the field and then arizona state the um what are you even doing here team in the field and i say that with total affection to be yeah no this is the guy this is the guy at the wedding in a tuxedo shirt yeah this is right It's formalware. The groomsman nobody has met.

This guy washed up on the beach this morning. It's my best friend. I love him. I trust him with my life. What's his last name? I don't know. He didn't know my last name either. It says scataboo.

That can't be right. That can't be right. That's the name you'd make up if you were hung over on a beach and you woke up on it. And the Coast Guard came over and they're like, what's your last name? You're like, Scataboo! Scataboo! I love that guy. What's your first name?

Dillingham. Dillingham, Scataboo, the third. Made up team with somehow concrete, real results. Just the coolest. It's absolutely the coolest.

I don't really care how bad Texas meets you, Arizona State. You're the coolest team in the playoff. Don't let anybody tell you you're not. This is like, we're going to get the same, you know, complaining we had in round one of like, oh, why they let this bad team in here?

And during this game, I'd be like, hell yeah, brother. They let this bad team in here. Yeah, we're going to make you wallowing this shit. Is there a quarterback of freshman? Fuck yeah, he is. We put a literal child at quarterback. He's handsome, reckless,

and incapable of winning the game by himself. It's awesome. How did this team get to the second round? By being awesome. That's it. Beating some ass. That's what they did. I want to also a special shout out to Arizona State University admins who not only very evidently listen to this show, but that in and of itself isn't unique because lots of important people in academia and college football listen to this show. Most of them just don't admit it. We know about tons of them. But Arizona State admins on arguably the biggest day in the history of their football program when they were announcing that they had a

not just a buy, but a bid. They did so by referencing our, won't you consider Arizona State meme from however many years ago? Yeah. Got me right in the heart. That's my fucking team, man. I have a Sun Devils hat literally right behind me. So, and I did anyway.

But yeah, this time, this playoff field, all of us together, an entire nation will indeed consider Arizona State. Is Horns Up actually a salute to the devil? It is now. Hail Satan. Isn't that more complicated than like, oh, we're going to horns down you and blah, blah, blah. But what if we instead take your horns up and we make it mean our devil thing? If ASU wins, yeah.

By the same token of why does Arizona State play Texas? Yeah. We do not set out to worship the devil because it is evil. Why do we go to the moon to worship the devil there? JFK said all that. I believe John Milton said that, Holly. We claim the moon for Beazelbub. Boston, Satan.

But I repeat myself. He'd just be a guy from Boston, yeah. Oh, and he's got terrible sports opinions and no one wants to listen to him. He's bad at cooking food. I feel like as neoliberal, the angels know more slurs. But I'm willing. I'm open to argument on this.

I think we've all seen that... Biblically accurate, is a phrase that I can't get out of my head. I got nothing but like bullish bets to put on Kenny Dillingham. He has all the true signs of a guy who's going to be a monstrous coach type coach for a long time. He's short, right? He's extremely hype. He cuts a good promo.

He cuts a fucking great promo, right? he's a man of the people he's at his alma mater he's willing to do absolutely cracked shit in the middle of a game like fake fake punt from your 38 ain't a thing like I don't know

if this is true or not but you can like I think if you want to you can make the case that what Kenny Dillingham did in the wake of Herm Edwards is actually harder than what Kurt Signetting did in Indiana yeah given given like the NIL this of it like NIL has not been like

wow. Given that Kurt brought his own roster. Right, exactly. Like, Kirk did get to bring, like, defenders he knew and had played for him before and, like, were part of the system. And Kenny Delegant was like, oh, no, Herman Edwards did all the fraud. Have fun. Have fun. Have a great time. And, I mean, yeah, like, the Big Tall, Famously a Conference for every team is equally good. It's one of those video games where you just hit, like, the normalized characters button. Like, you just pick the character you think looks the coolest, and we're getting them all the same stats, that's the Big 12. So to win almost all of your games in that conference is an achievement. So I think a lot of people think that NIL, when they really sort of think about how it's going

for schools like Arizona State, that they were going to do the longest yard slash of the replacements thing where we know, we have an open camp and we meet a quirky punter. We meet a psychotic linebacker with an attitude. And then we get this cast of characters together. And for most schools what's happened is they just got some guys and then they got some other guys and some of them turned out and some of them didn't only one school that i know of has really gone into the portal and gone we found a madman we got a cave man and it's a rizzoa state they're the only guys who went in the portal and they're like yeah we found us running back at sack state he's incredible but you know you've seen how they've followed it up just this week right

how going and getting an army running back and saying come from west point i'm telling you they're the only ones who understand the assignment they're the ones who're like yeah what are we going to do with this clean cut got we're giving them all the tattoos i'm telling you that running back's going to be so tatted up defending america's abroad is hard you know what's a lot harder Arizona state football this career path is literally fight for your right to party I want to go from the school with the most rules to the school. I've never heard of rules. Well, you see, the soldier's path is to turn your sword into plow shares.

You're like, oh, I'll be plowing. That's what I'm going to be doing. Plowing and share. What would even the Army Navy be for Arizona State? Arizona State v. Senor frogs? Down? The Arizona Navy? You would just have to be like, yeah, I'm going to bartending school.

ship. Arizona, like Arizona State Navy is like a snorkeling in the hotel pool. He can hold his breath for so long, dude. Go sun devils. We didn't talk about Texas at all. That's awesome. That's for everyone else can talk about them. That's fine.

Yeah. They're real good. There. Yeah. Boring. God, I love this team. Now we have two teams that are real good. Gross.

Ohio State At Oregon At Oregon Sure That's true That's fair Oregon should be the home team here Yeah

I mean yeah why not So we have Quite possibly the two best teams In the several rounds Before the championship game Whatever Whatever And they've already played each other

And they're in the same conference Fine Well that's fine I guess This will be a great Rose Bowl Like this is the only one of these bowls where it's like we better not fuck that one up so like imagine if it if it ended up being like clumps in arizona state rose bowl like come on man which like yeah that could happen one of these years like this the format is uh it's it's not designed to uh preserve any of those

old conference tires or whatever not even for the rose bowl um so yeah like some year we're going to have a super fucked up rose bowl like that and you know i know i know for the past decade or two we've had a lot of weird ones but we haven't had a you know i mean there is i'm sure there is somebody who's like thank god it's like a pack a pack 12 big 10 team so we can still like when you scroll through it on wikipedia you can just be like yep everything's fine in here at the rose bull west goes versus midwest and then history corrected itself 2020 so like there will be over a million people who tune into this game think nothing of the the playoff and then clock out of college football for the year having learned nothing about

the playoff because they're like well of course it's an ohio team and a west coast team in the one football game i watch it's always a midwest team and a west coast team that was another beautiful rose bowl thank god they stopped letting tc u in barf we saw that little horn frog with the roses in his mouth too it was weird gaudy gave me feelings i didn't like these are two teams separated by in their last matchup one point one point 3231 at Oregon yes famous Idaho potato bowl update fair look look I wouldn't stop the show if this was important the camera's going crazy what's going on there well the camera's going crazy but we are at the moment more concerned with the bottom of the kairon, which currently reads Fresno State Bulldogs.

Screen cab. My phone, my phone was just going like, but I couldn't figure out why it's because eight people have texted this to me in the past half hour. Thanks everybody. Thank you, thank you Brian, who got it first.

fuck like that has to be the merch right it is now it is now it absolutely is now inside you inside one of us are two wolves inside fresno state is something completely gives a whole new meaning to they got that dog in them sorry where were we the grand daddy of them all the grand dong of them all yeah we were talking about Fresno stage bulldogs Gosh, I wish Keith Jackson could have lived to have seen this So that I could be like, hi Keith, I'm here to explain this to him

I wish I never seen that Why did you exhume me just to show me the bulldooms It's an awfully large beard you have for a girl Back to the sweet embrace of death God there is just bulldogs Just says fucking bulldogs. I want to put out, this is also almost 15 minutes into the game. How did this happen?

You've surely put this word up before. This also appears to be Fresno State's second or third score. Ryan, when in college football would they ever have had the opportunity to type bulldogs into a screen? Be real. I mean, listen, if you could put this on those old caps that said like South Carolina Cox on them or something. Oh, God, Brino's back. Fresno State enrollment one triple.

Fresno State versus Arizona State would be the biggest rivalry of the state got to be the flagship University of the state. It was those four white cockpaps. Scripts. Scripts dong. Dude, it's still there.

It's there. Yes. Oh my God. It's there right now. You can go look. Is it live right now? Yes. They haven't fixed it.

They can't. They can't. Then they have to admit it's wrong. The dongs are locked in. This has been up for half an hour. I've seen the screen. I've seen the screen grab. I hope this turns out to me the greatest hack of all time.

What did you do? I changed it to bull dongs and then I locked them out of the Kairon editing software. The dongs just blocked a punt. Congratulations, Cyberwolf. You unlocked their crypto wallet, their bank accounts and their IRAs. What are you going to do? I'm going to change the name to bulldogs. Then I'm out.

You're holding the controller. You're looking at that menu, and it's like, press X to type dongs. No hesitation. Dong it up. It is 3.49 right now, and the first text I got, oh my God. Are you telling me the first text I got was at 311? Wow. How deep does this go?

That's down. That's an incredible pump block, by the way. This guy looks like he vaulted off of nothing. That dong got up there. Like just Luigi jumped up into three. The gauntlet has been thrown, Rose Bowl. We better see Ohio State fuck eyes up there at some point. Slop it on out there.

It's the Oregon fucks. The duck would be into that. The duck would see that on the Kairon. Yeah. Hell yeah, that's me. Okay, wait. If they kick this field goal, we got to see if it does, if they do it again. Ooh, really sprayed that one.

This is fantastic audio. i uh chimes you know it is always right around the time we're not chiming we're not done talking about the rose ball no there's one second left in the this is we said earlier we say every year it is always right around this stretch of games that we really start to lose it and this time it was it was an external an external force that did it this time if all of bowl season lost it if anybody had sports references listening whatever the result of this game please recorded as the Fresno State Bulldogs. All other games belong to the Bulldogs, but just this one.

I think sports reference, do the thing where you give the, you know, you give players nicknames and a lot of them are like, no one calls him that. Yeah, yeah. Do that with this team because this one actually is, is canonic. So, Holly, I'm going to ask, they also have the wipe, right? So, like, when they score, does it go like, bulldog, like across the screen? Like, whoosh. No, it just goes Fresno C.

Yeah. oh yes not potato not wipes for your potato bowl no not at all I still haven't seen it ball dong dude wipes invented on hand shop hill god it looks cold out there that's not related to anything I mean if it's bulldogs in that weather

then when it gets warm listen it's in at school they might as well call themselves the bulldogs so when it's yeah when it's When it's hot, they're bulldogs. When it's cold, they're bear dongs. It's like an economics thing. Yeah. How'd your date go?

Bear dong. They typed it correctly in that one. It says bulldogs in that one. Oh. Sadly. Boom. The dream is dead. After all, the Rose Bowl, it's up to you.

The best one is when they spread out the curing and it's like, bulldog. It's so dramatic. Ohio State's favored by two and a half Yeah speaking of dead dreams Ryan Day has to coach another game at Ohio State Maybe multiple Maybe multiple It's so fucked up that the Rose Bowl is like

If you win this you get to go to the Cotton Bowl That's fucked up You get to go to Dallas Like one of these you're just going to be like We're going to win the Rose Bowl for the right to play in the Fiesta Bowl That's fucked up I think, no, I think the NFL should copy this. I think the Super Bowl should be a divisional round game.

You win the Super Bowl for the right to play in Cleveland. To play the conference championship against, I don't know, Detroit. We're just going to Benjamin button it. That's right. Next up, we have, if the Rose Bowl has happened and the Sugar Bowl is happening now, it's Notre Dame, Georgia. Hope you like watching head butts. Because that's all this game's going to be.

Fight, run, run, run, run, run. Run, run, punt. Run, run, punt. Notre Dame, as noted, is Georgia Tech's Charazard, and Georgia is now what would happen if Mike Bobo had no choice but to run the damn ball. So this is going to be some football-ass football. Yes, Gunner Stockton. Gunner Stockton is the starting quarterback for the University of Georgia Bulldogs.

And as you saw, is an imaginative passer when he's asked to pass and is a willing runner, as anybody who saw him get absolutely blasted in the last quarter of this game. That is, of course, why Kirby Smart is in love with him because you can't show a hard-headed QB from Tiger Georgia to Kirby Smart without like little heart eyes popping out. Like, oh, he can barely throw the ball and he likes to hit stuff. Oh, Notre Dame threw for over 250 yards exactly once this season. Would you care to guess who the opponent was? Not NIU. NIU? Not NIU, no.

That would have been helpful. LSU. Florida State University, the only school to allow 250 passing yards. We don't talk about Florida State enough, it's true. We don't. That was one of their 10 losses. If you just sort FBS by passing attempts per game, Notre Dame ranks 99th, just above Purdue.

That's how unexcited they are to throw the ball. Now, granted, a lot of these games, they were winning early and they didn't need to. But, like, this is not a position they want to be in. Also, when they do throw, the ball's not going very far. Like, I think it was like, well, they're one of the lowest ranked teams in air yards. So, like, if they hand off, or if they throw, it's just a lengthy handoff. yes there's one there's one little area where like like i think new or dame has a couple of advantages their running backs are awesome yes yeah that that run game versus georgia actual like full

confidence advantage their defense is awesome defense no defense is awesome like i but specifically you can't run on georgia and there's been very little over the last three or four games to let me think that running the ball on first and second down every single series is a bad idea against them you can make this like they could win a headbutt contest meaning george is going to have to do what they did against texas let's remind everybody they had to go for a fake punt when no one really expected them to they had to improvise and do things that they were uh more comfortable doing than i thought they were doing but they that's not their normal thing they're going to have to do that uh i'm curious to see what happens with brett thorson now because george is going to have to

punt in this game. And I feel like it's going to be interesting to see how this will actually work. One of the options Kirby Smart has floated is Gunner Stockton punting. So I like that most in terms of confusion and weirdness. That is the option I am I am 100% rooting for. He's not getting the majority of the punting reps in practice, but he is getting some of them and that's good to me. Are we, does this mean, can I go ahead and just take a little flyer on on third down quick kick oh we might get a third down quick kick here's the here's the quote this is from uh today when the job's open we let everybody punt this is from kirby smart so we got them all out there punting gunner can punt puglisi can punt uh we got

some wide receivers that can punt i've had to punt a couple of times on what kirby i would love in what decades I would love to see Kirby's smart being like, there's no rule that says the coach, there is a rule that says the coach can't punt in Kirby. They don't even let the coach get out there and punt anymore. I bet if any other team was down to their next punter, they'd let the coach punt,

but they don't let George do anything. If you think you explain the plot of the movie Air Bud to Kirby, do you think he would take it to his state legislature as some kind of grievance situation? It's just not fairly let a dog go out. they're playing football. We're called the dogs and we're not allowed

to have the dogs in the field. They got this other team called the Bulldogs. We're not allowed to be the Bulldogs. We don't have any in our name.

Air Bud played more home games this season than Georgia. He's becoming Australian slowly much of the show. On a long enough timeline, all will be made Australian. How many how many different,

God, guys, do you imagine how many more road games? games Georgia has in front of them if they keep winning. Those poor guys. Jesus. I know. It's just such a shame.

Kirby, are you all right, buddy? Because, hey, Sugar Bowl sure ain't the Peach Bowl, is it? You saw how they arranged this bracket. So we had to go all the way New Orleans where we got all those annoying saints fans who ain't got shit to do because the saints suck this year. So they're just going to be bothering us in the hotel room. Clonging up to bathrooms as they are wanted to do. They're sent us to a state of a whole bunch of Catholics in it.

And then they're like, oh, and then they're like, Notre Dame is our upon. Who do you think they're going to root for? No, something tells me Kirby's not familiar enough with Notre Dame to know it's Catholic. He thinks it's too ethnic, don't know. Or you'd be like, hey, do you know Notre Dame's Catholic? I don't care. That's awful urban for our boys.

Yeah, I don't need to know about their dentistry. Notre Dame. Give me that sweet, sweet podcast music. Can you chime as you sing? What's the business? It's a business. It's a business. Parkin' business.

Now it's with the chimes. Gonna hit these till they break and then they're going. Spencer, go ahead and lead us off by telling us about the offerings at Prize Picks. Prize Pizance. My family are now texting me, go bulldogs. Prize Picks is the best place to get real money sports action with over 10 million members and billions of dollars in award of winning. prize picks has made daily fantasy sports

accessible to all all you need to do to play prize picks is just pick more or more less home games for Georgia that's for dang sure on at least two players for a shot to win

up to 1,000 times your cash you could run your game all season long on prize picks were I looking at this slate this Notre Dame Georgia matchup I might be picking a whole lot of less a whole lot of less across the board attempts less on who

whoever of what sort I've been told that less is passing oh wow that's a great oh shit holly just hit you with that beatitude reversal what she did this Catholic witchcraft hit me with that biblical uno

excuse me it's more like a biblical draw four yeah and in Catholic Uno sometimes it's trace yeah and I was going to say I only draw three but it's really a one so I'm just taking one card not you're Catholic so it literally changes into that's right yeah see I'm Catholic so I don't know what that means I'll have to check I'll have to ask my priest I can explain it to you in Latin

that would really help actually and by the way we are talking about a playoff game and it's playoff time so it's now or never that's right don't miss out of the last few weeks of football action with prize picks you can now win up to 1,000 times your money you can even want you win that money withdrawals are fast, safe, and secure when your picks hit, and they're gonna.

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Yeah. I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to like, Lord, Lord, please let him take that prize picks out. Praise picks. I think if you wanted to say let's play by house rules, it's Agamas per Dolma. Precipta?

Okay. Holly, you should start playing Warhammer with us. There's a lot of fake Latin in it. There's a lot of that, yeah. Adding some real... No, that's real. No, no, no, no, no, no, I know. Adding some real Latin would fit in.

Yeah. It probably says something that I only get upset when somebody accused me of not knowing Latin. No, I'm not suited for Warhammer at all. Holly, that would have been an amazing time. It would be like, fuck you, disconnect. My Latin is flawless. Spencer, what's that offer code?

That's right. Some orcs about it. It works in any language, okay? So just fall on your knees, download that app. And use the code full cast to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's right. Fullcast is the promo code to get $50 instantly after you play. your first $5

lineup. It works in any language. Price Fidelis, Daddy. Run your game. Sacrilege is the game. The other game, of course, is more... Christmas is over when this show comes out, so it doesn't count. What about the 12 days? Shit.

Let's what? Not me forgetting Epiphany. Sorry, Mom. Let's play more or less. Real quick, smoking musket on blue sky, I don't even know if it's really, have skeeted an on-three graphic of Bevo. Bivo looking sad with, you know, the on three memes where they have just one big verb. The verb in this one is exiled.

Wait, wait, Bivo's castling? Slept with King's wife. All right. Let's play more or less. The Donghorn. Presented by Price Picks. This one's going to be nice and easy. Holly, I've been mean to you all season,

so can I offer you this as a hopefully easier version of more or less? And I see you making a face like cooking me? No, I'm making a face because I'm trying to figure out how you would conjugate. They got that dog in them because, like, you can say they have that dog in them, but it's not quite the same thing. This graphic is real. Latin didn't account. When they made Latin, they were not accounting for this.

The Peach Bowl has banned Bivo. and exiled is how on three chose to be exiled we put him we put him on elbow they were going to drive that poor cow all the fuck the way up here just to parade him around on the astro turn the cow is who we were that's what we go do the cow has been exiled to alfreda what do you slaughter when the prodigal cow comes home is my question an even larger cow uh holly uh you get to be redheads you get to be our contestant this week on more of less. Oregon is playing in its ninth Rose Bowl. They are four and four in their previous eight appearances. I'm going to name a team, and I want you to tell me if they have more Rose Bowl wins than the Ducks or less.

Let's start with Ohio State. Do they have more than four Rose Bowl? Do they have more than four Rose Bowl wins, all time? They're a really old team, but so is Oregon. And more? Yes, that's correct. Ohio State has nine wins in the Rose Bowl. Yeah, that's a lot.

That's impressive. That's a lot. Let's stick on the West Coast. Cal, does Cal have more or less than four Rose Bowl wins in program history? You lulled me in, and then you pulled the Sawpuppet. No, you don't know that this is the Sawpuppet angle. Oh, it's coming now or later? less. That's correct. Cal has two Rose Bowl wins all time. That's also impressive for Cal.

I mean, yeah, sure. Holly, what about the Alabama Crimson Tide? Do they have more or less than four Rose Bowl wins in the history of the program? Oh, you're such an asshole. More. That's correct as well. They have five. Rose Bowl victories, Oregon with four. I had to go back and count those in my head. Hey. Do you know how much I hate this? All right.

All right. Now we are entering. I'm going to give you, some of these are asshole, but we'll see how you can do. You've already gotten half of the three of six correct. So you can only finish at 500 or worse. At worst. The Minnesota Golden Gophers, they have more or less than four Rose Bowl wins. Less.

do. It's only one. Minnesota, very good for a very long time, but did not include a lot of Roseville victories in that stretch. The Wisconsin Badgers, more or less, Roseville wins than four. Less. Also correct. They only have three. And to sweep the category, Holly Anderson, do the Stanford Cardinal have more than four Rose Bowl wins or less? I actually know this one they have more. They do. They have seven. Seven Rose Bowl wins.

See, Holly, you mastered this category. Six for six. I was at their last one and that's the only reason I know that was pure luck. There you go. That concludes, whoa, whoa. You did it. You did it. That is what we have for more.

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Website. For only the most discerning. Jason, is that a home field apparel shirt you're wearing right now? I'm wearing a Kansas State University hoodie as we speak. It's very powerful. The Sun Devils hat that I referenced

was also a home field apparel hat. Spencer's got his pit panthers. shirt on this is also this has no logo on it but this is a home field shirt as well this is from the core collection this is on stealth mode sometimes that's right sometimes i'm wearing my tennessee baseball home field thong exclusive it's got tony vitello's face over the butt that's nice that was that was a that was an exclusive limited edition yeah you got to get in on these things you got to sign up for homefield apparel dot com so you can it It's not on the hole, it's higher up.

Oh, okay. It's like giving you, it's giving the impression of like having a tramp stamp of his face without actually. Oh, okay. Folks, let me, let me again take you. Because it did seem like there's not much room for a face on a thong. No, it's a high-waisted garment, so there's a little triangle at the top. Audience, let me invite you back behind. Homefield whale tail.

Behind the curtain again. I like to do this from time to time, let you know, like, how the sausage is made here at disgusting. Bulldog. Most of our advertisers don't listen to these ads. They don't know the things that we're saying. Homefield apparel is a notable exception in that probably within two to three days of this episode coming up, I will get a text message from Connor. Only Ryan.

The CEO of Homefield Apparel, where you can use offer code full cast, get 20% off your to be fair they do this because that's how they found the show and and to be clear they've never said stop doing this i think the only time connor's really got mad was early in our sponsorship run with them when i was listing all the big 10 teams that were available on home field apparel and i forgot to mention indiana he did take that pretty badly but i just want you to know that most of the time we feel comfortable doing whatever we want in these ads because you know Because we're wearing home field apparel and everyone feels comfortable. That's right.

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Yeah. Also, did I notice I get a confusing plus one in all of my confidence roles as well? That's how. Fieldparall.com, offer code fullcast. Load up your inventory. You don't need axes or herbs. Become encumbered with hoodies. Which one is plus one armor.

So if you wear... Listen to the NPCs go... Listen to the NPCs go, Gazzuz! Such bulk and such comfort. The man with 100 sweatshirts. This doesn't apply to me because I'm a paladin. Oh, shit. Fuck.

This is why I'm the worst DM. please restructure this entire argument around me that's that's why the tone that's the blue sky promise there we go paladins wear hats so quit being so negative ryan homefield has hats negativity is defined as all right back to back to bulls speaking of negativity wayne kiffin this episode is coming out so far in the future can you imagine how much worse that website's going to be by the time this actually comes out spencer will have killed somebody you mean blue sky not homefield apparel dot com okay i just want right homefield will only get better and better homefield that's right

both of these platforms only trend in one direction homefield will be putting out speed suits by the time this is done do you know how much i would pay for a homefield speed suit my god what do you what speed suit do you want what team oh what team don't i want President of course. President of State Bulldogs. Yeah. It's got it across the butt like juicy sweatpants. Yeah.

Dongs. Juicy bulldogs. Duke. I hope whatever CIA assets are listening to this because we said Palestine on here a handful of times are really enjoying today's episode. I bet they are. Yeah. Speaking of questing. Speaking.

Hello. Did I come over Hill and Dale? God, that was a hairpin turn. Borning rivers. Hail and well met, taxes. Fighting my way through the wilds and across young board. To confront the evil of tax beast for I am the tax. I cast money laundering.

Hero, you must find Everbank Stadium before it's too late. I always love games like that where it's like, you must do it tonight. we'll all die and then you're like okay i'm going to go learn how to play the card game they play in this country i'm going to do that for like 17 hours and then i'm going to fast travel to seattle to uh get in a fight note to our duke and old miss fans coming in it's tax slayer not tax dodgers yeah and jacksonville the game you need to learn how to play is basically a nine-leg parlay that you make while sitting in a port-a-led outside everbanks stadium adventure you must do this we'll all die Venturer, the evil Duke old miss

is threatening the people of Jack Saint-Vie. It's literally a Duke in this game. And a Miss. And a rebel. Yeah. They should make Lane talk about taxes. God. So this, both these seem to nine and three.

I'm not four flat tax. I like him chesty, personally. Keep that busty tax. That Russ Meyer-sized tax, son. It's the real long truck, them real long distance haulers. I'm a real upy's economist. Hey, I haven't checked Twitter today.

Is he still a Buddhist? Let's see here. I just want to know when he's going to say Tennessee should have made the playoff. As soon as Paul Feinbond does, I'm sure. So I understand you've turned your back on Jesus, Lane. Let's see. They got a commitment.

How do you combing her hair? so the horns don't show. This Duke team, by the way, awesome. Like, in terms of, like, being a team of, like, absolute vibes in one-score games. They have so many one-score games here.

Like, they have just been doing nothing but, like, playing the minimum amount of football, which, again, as we've said before, respect. If they end up winning this game, it'll be through some series of elaborate frustrations of Jackson Dart, where they make him read more than,

one receiver because Jackson Darts is kind of quarterback who as we saw in the Florida game if he wants to throw a pick brother doesn't matter what you do to not make it happen he's going to make it happen as a defensive guy I have to think that Jackson makes manny Diaz a little bit insane in both directions yeah manny and lane never coached on the same staff anywhere right That feels like it should have happened at some... Probably. There's no way to know. I don't...

I think they missed each other because Manny was doing like Texas while... Yeah, Manny would have been at Texas while Lane was at Bama? Yeah. And USC. Right. Right. So that it would have been overlap. It wouldn't have exactly...

Then he would have been up... There's no way to know. There's no way to know. There's no way to know. There's no... There are many interpretations. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Not that it's going to help do... do anything but like hope this comes out as like a low scoring game because if not old miss is going to smoke them well they fucking better after uh their coach talked all that shit so they better cover that two touchdowns spread oh my god if lane went to a bowl and lost a goddamn dude well as a two touchdown favorite mind you i love this duke team i love manny as a coach i love duke football but i mean as a brand if the next thing he did was go out and lose to duke in the postseason if duke were to win manny would have

just the second 10-win season in school history. Hell yes, Duke football. If you want to know, I'm going to do the Lane Kiffinology segment of this program. God, now what? I saw he tweeted a photo of a candle. Yeah. He did, he did.

I'm rather light a candle to curse the darkness. And then his, like, photos of quotes you might find on, like, the wall in your aunt's bathroom. Yeah, so I've got... Somebody's just send that man a cricket and let him open the ancestor. Like the whole corner of Buckees. It's just inspirational quotes.

Your live, laugh, love quote of the day is from his Instagram stories, which I think is really where he does his best work in terms of emo posting and inspo. This is a share from Thinking Minds page, which those are the kind of minds I like. And it says, Dear Men, close your eyes. Imagine you have a daughter. Imagine she's dating a guy like you. Ew. Why would I do that?

Ew. It's better. Did you smile? No. Ew. I certainly didn't. No. And then at the bottom, the capper is.

Then change. Ew. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, right. Wait, wait, Ryan, I'm sorry. I got to do the hammer until you smile at the thought of dating your daughter. Sure. Do you know what the next shot is? Purity ball?

A gifted orange zest and Cedarwood hand, Candle. Like, look, do you know how much fucking money he could be making off affiliate links? I need to be his business. His, I mean, Kevin, drop the Pinterest. I am, I am happy that Lane Kiffin is finding his center, seeking balance, being healthier in various terms, et cetera. I'm not.

Where did Lane Kiffin played football at Fresno State. Some part of his bro-ass brain is like, oh, man, I could be laughing at Bulldogs right now. but I've decided to go full Michaels on the other side instead. Compromise. Get a little

stitch bulldogs on something and hang it on the wall. Yes. Best of both worlds. Maybe the bulldogs were the friends we made along the way. May the happiest dongs

of your past be the saddest dogs of your future. Chops. I love that somewhere deep inside link Kiffin right now is like a dumb guy who've read like the first 30 pages of meditations by Marcus Aurelius and a dumb guy who's got a girlfriend who's really into candles

who's like filling him like these two it's like inside of you there are two wolves one is a Pinterest account and the other they're so sleepy they're both real sleepy they'd really rather just be happy thank you server for supporting talk to masculinity on this podcast with me

live laugh dongs Hey, it's time to liven things up here North Texas, Texas State at 63.5, I believe this is the highest over-under of any bowl game this year. Pew, pew, pew. A lot of statistics are going to happen. A lot of zoom in and happening going on.

I don't know a damn thing about which players in these teams are good. Spencer, you probably know as the coach of North Texas. But all I know is there's going to be a lot of running around going on. It's going to be a ton of running around. we've had a real I think I'm proud of what we've done in Denton this year we've done a lot unfortunately we have lost our quarterback to the transfer portal I mean that that's what you want you want your players constantly leaving you want them to be like thank you for developing me

now I'm going to go to UVA I'm saying you're what Chandler Morris did I mean you've trained these these young men to freestyle musically speaking but sometimes that happens in a in football as well. That's right. That's right. So we did that and he's going to go play with the new ensemble and we're going to go out and find a couple of new cats who can, you know, play this crazy music we call jazz. This game is happening at the serve pro first responder bowl, which is the one that I don't know, it gets canceled sometimes. It's in Dallas and both these teams are going to meet in the middle. It's kind of cool. They're like 10% of Texas apart, which means they're like four hours apart.

I am confused why we decided, like, you know what sponsor will honor the courage and sacrifice of first responders, the company you call when the septic tank blows up? Like, I'm not entirely sure. But, buddy, can you think of more of a first responder that you need? So we're going to do a back the blue, thin, blue line flag with a brown on. I'm back in the brown, yeah. Back the brown into the tank. Septic specialists.

who's done more for listen who's done more for you in life anybody who refer to themselves as a tactical operator or the shit man the shit man's done a lot more for you what operators we had to take you off the flag so we could get the shit man on the flag

instead. Ryan Murphy this is your next series do you want to really connect with people do you want to find people who are really valued as first responders firefighters and and the shit man I believe you mean fart responders Mandy

Pincinn is so good at 9 911 sepsis. Yeah, 911 Jersey. Calling 911, because I went number two. Yeah, so that's another game. Later that day, speaking of mess and speaking of substances and that you got to clean up and just goo splattering all over humans. And stuff that I don't, personally, I don't think you should consume very much of it.

The Mayo Bowl! This year, pitting Minnesota and Virginia Tech. They're both competent teams sometimes, often, often. They made the bowl season. This one's favorite by six and a half. Of course, the main event is that Duke's Mayo Bowl being slopped all over, either PJ Fleck, which, gosh. Now, there's a guy who was just designed for a silly bowl experience, even though he's not all that silly bowl experience. even though he's not all that silly lately, but...

But he looks slick. Oh, he's going to look... He's going to shine so hard. He's going to look like those episodes of Looney Tunes when Elmer Fun gets lathered up to get shaved. It's a little squeaky noise. A little winchle-bipar. On the other side, we have...

Well, like, Verdi plays in the night. The other side, we have Brent Pry, who has, let's say his hair looks Italian. If I say that, you know what I mean? And the beauty of Brent Pry if he wins this game and gets the Mayo dumped, he'll be like, you'll see that moment in his eyes when he's like,

I'm fighting so hard to keep this job. And for what? And for what? Kirby's like everything about Brent Pry's before. Oh yeah, Kirby's one of those guys who's like, I really respect Brett Pry as a coach. Why? It's like, he fucking First of all, he's a Brent.

Yeah, first he's a friend. I love every coach. whose name is Brent and his last name is three letters and the last one's Y. Those are my favorite type of guy. And they coach at a tech, no less, in the ACC. My two favorites.

If anything ever happens to Brent Key, if I ever hug him so hard he dies, I'll replace him. He just looks at a man and he's like, God, he looks like you could hit him with a shovel. That guy looks like he hates a bunch of stuff. Yeah, it looks like he hates some shit. His hair looks so hard. Looks like he has to untuck his shirt

After he tucks it in As just a natural instinct, right? Love that guy Oh, like he tucks it in too far And has to... Yeah, yeah, he's like, oh God, It's too formal. Two together.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, you know, they're going to play a football game And then somebody's going to get some shit dumped on him. And now for the weirdest, Saturday, January 4th at 11 a.m. Awesome.

Awesome. Sure. The only game of the weekend. the Bahamas Bowl. No longer presented by Popeyes. You would draw that many Liberty fans out of the country before their special day? That's got to be rough.

They're going to have to hustle to get back. No longer Popeye's game, so therefore it's not really canon, but still it's happening. Buffalo versus Liberty and the Bahamas. This is a hard one to justify not spending time with your family. Good for Pete Limbo.

No, let Pete Limbo go to the Bahamas. The man's right, not for the players. Let Buffalo go. Yes, yes. I just mean if you're watching Casual, And your family's like, hey, we had Samarans plan today. It's going to be hard to be like, oh, sorry, I got to watch Buffalo Liberty. You're going to be doing it without me.

That's right. That's right. That's right. I'm locked in. I got to see if Liberty can finish eight and four. This is sponsored by Atlantis Resorts, and it is outside the United States. That leads me to believe if you wanted a casino marker, brother, you could probably get one as part of, you know, just like a grand. Just, you know, Pete Lembo If you could be like, hey, part of the package That would be great if that was for a player's deal.

I do hope Pete Lembo shows up to this game with beaded hair. Yeah. That would be good. I'm loving it. We should move here. I think, so fun facts about Liberty, they lost to Kennesaw State, which is a first year FBS program

that had never beaten an FBS team before. At the time of that loss to Kennesaw State, State. Liberty was talking itself into maybe making the playoff, which is a weird thing for Liberty to even want, because they'd lost 45, 6 to Oregon the previous time. They'd gotten any kind of national spotlight, so you'd think they'd just want to sit in the corner quietly and watch everyone else. But they wanted to go, and now they do have a spotlight all of themselves. It's at 11 a.m. on a day when no one cares about college football. Chimes!

Last game! So, fun fact, there are no more games. I just wanted to hit some chimes. Bang that fucking chime. So after this is... Okay. I guess we're talking about the wild card round in the NFL? Yeah.

So it'll be interesting to see if the chiefs are resting Mahomes that weekend. So after this, FCS title game, as noted, it's that Monday, let's put it that way. And then the semifinals at the orange and cotton. We'll talk about them at some point. Yeah, we'll get to those in a later episode. Sure. even though we already know who's in them so yeah they well because they told us yeah it's Arizona State you're so you're so cool so cool Arizona State