Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40 MORE BOWLS: Handjob Hills Have Eyes

Episode Date: December 29, 2024

Other committees that failed to pick BamaWorst Tampa-Australian accent everMack Brown was at the Handjob Hill gameJoin us in the Handjob Hill comments section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdp_S_jcb3k&t=2024sTHE WOLFMAN VS THE WRANGLERTheme by Christian AshlockListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://0-pklchannel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

I'm gonna'a'a-whip-wit-wit-were-a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-h-h-ha-h-ha-h. Welcome to the shutdown forecast. You are listening to yet another installment of 40-4-40, our bowl previews where we discuss every single bowl for only as long as we absolutely have to. Joining me, as always, is Ryan Nanny, Holly Anderson, Jason Kirk, and Michael Serber on the ones and twos. Hello, all.

Who would like to get us started? Well, the format that we had been using usually is Holly reads a bit of lore for each bowl, and the Internet has decided that Holly is not allowed to do that right now because of Wi-Fi, apparently, as I understand. so I propose we sit in silence and let the listener just ponder some things what is what is the first bowl theoretically that we would be talking about if we were talking about a bowl game right now up next would be I mean I think it's appropriate

that next on our slate would be Alabama Michigan because we've literally already seen that wasn't that even this calendar year yes that's true because they played it in the Rose Bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have already seen that in 2024. We haven't seen it in this venue, though. This, we haven't seen it in this event that is slightly less prestigious than that one was. Is it?

Slightly. I think slightly is fair. More, more willing to help college football evolve into its new age, though. The, I'm not, the Outback Bowl, because that's what this is. The Outback Bowl never said. No, the Outback Bowl is dead.

No, the Outback Bowl lives on in my heart. Ryan, you are now the Reliiquist Burrito Man or whatever. The APEC bowl lives on in my heart. Like that shard of shrapnel. Is that like the auto's own chicken sandwich?

Like the shirt of shrapnel and solid snakes forehead? Yes. The one in Tony Stark's chest that he's trying to keep from killing him at all times. It's fried also, that shrapnel. That's right. That's right. Get the Reliacquest

Euro. delicious it's lodged in my thorax i'll die if you remove it it's load bearing the ralea quest um omelet holly was briefly appearing and it holly is now back maybe sure it turns god fucking damn it that's her all right what's happening here is that all of the whining and complaining about alabama not being in the playoff alabama why didn't albama get indiana spot why didn't Alabama get SMU spot? Why didn't Alabama get Clemson's spot? I know it went to them because they won the ACC

but why can't Alabama have it anyway? Why didn't Alabama get Arizona State's spot? Yeah. Why didn't Alabama get Penn State spot, frankly? Franklin? All of that, all of that whining and moaning is now coming to roast and poisoning your shutdown fullcast 40 for 40,

preventing it from being great. It's usual. Bought down by Crimson Tide botnet, the D-D-O-S-M-M-E-O-S-M. attack from the Tuscaloosa Hacker Collective. That's right. That's right. They don't want you to know that this is a matchup between established bag-dropping program, Michigan, out there doing work in the NIL community. Yeah.

And Bama, which is too broke for the number one recruit, apparently. Bama out here, out here, out here having to beg for scraps of money through their athletic director, the war, the war on Alabama is on. It is fought with dollars. How are you losing this war? What are you doing? How are you spending less money on football than other people than Yankees, no less? Come on. On one side is, you know, Michigan with such poor people as the owner of the Miami Dolphins.

Sure. Right? And on the other side, you have Business Titans Alabama, whose supporters include the guy who owns owned the port and whose family has owned the Port of Mobile for 100 years. I love comparing the kind of billionaires that different programs have because Michigan's guys are all like financial wizard or some guy who came up with 32 good business ideas and Alabama's just like I own air I own all the air in Alabama

my granddaddy got it and my family been selling air there for year I think that's fine like Alabama's air it's going to smell of you know fried foods or whatever that's good for you that's delicious it's going to smell like football the business ideas what fucking up domino's pizza that come on hold on i have everybody if you want to be successful in business i have a great thing you can do jason just hit it on the head and you

need to take a successful business and fuck it up that's it just burrow inside it and lay your eggs in it publicly apologize and repair the business and now you are you are the redjuvenator genius i'm excited to see how the party city bankruptcy leads michigan back to a national I'm going to tank party city so hard. I want to thank all those sexy fire lady dresses and costumes. What was your business?

We sold Disney themed birthday plates and napkins. Did you fail at it? How? How did you do that? Did the children stop having birthdays or something? This is a weird children of men sequel that you've come up with. I did like that there was one picture of a party city that had used up all its heat,

its last bits of helium to inflate letter balloons that said no helium that was where the last the helium went that's poignant man really aren't we all feeling like that here in december a little bit the greatest the greatest like news story of all time are always like my favorite like when they're like helium the planet is literally running out of helium somebody's like I can't hear you right doesn't the sun have a shuttug just go get it yeah That's what I'm saying. Apparently, it's all floating somewhere. Come on. Just go get it. Just sway a net or something.

Right. You go into the sun. You disrupt a business model. You let eggs in it. You fuck up the sun. You put a Michigan grad in charge of the sun making money. And then it'll just start shitting helium. And then Kirkker Street goes on television. Why are we putting the sun in the playoff?

Who's the sun beat? The sun is literally going down. You know, when the sun goes, goes down, coaches have to adjust their roster planning. The sun spends more time down in December. It gets worse over the course of the football season, and you want to reward it? Are you kidding me? You know, gosh, I'm looking out my window here at 3.30 p.m. and there's no sun anywhere.

Imagine you're a coach, and you're trying to keep these hundred young men in line, and the sun goes down. You're only paid $10 million. That makes me so sad. Hey, Nick, Nick, you never liked the sun, did you? No, never liked it. My mind is a sunless place. I don't know I saw Nick outside at Game Day

and I think he liked the sun He missed the sun quite a bit That did Reminder that Nick did not know The name of a bar That was 400 yards from his office The office that he went to For 17 years straight

And he had never taken a look over And recognized the name of the bar slash restaurant Nick Saban coached with the Cleveland Browns He coached in the Mac briefly He coached at Michigan State and it was so clear watching him on a game day in Columbus that there's a reason he got the fuck out of the mid-wurst. There was the only moment I briefly looked up in,

Desmond Howard was kidding Nick Saban about like, ha-ha, up here we like cold weather, you know, because Saban coached in the South. And Saban, you could see he's, uh-uh, I'm from West Virginia, I coached Ohio, I coached in Michigan. We will not make jokes about me being a weakling. I took the Dolphins job. for a reason.

I hate this shit. I kept waiting for him to say something real raw, like him to just be like, I gotta be honest, Des, I can't fill my dick when it's this cold. It's just numb. Anyway, I think that's the Michigan, Alabama, unclear, unclear to me.

Alabama's favored by 13 and a half. And I wanted to ask any of you, does that mean that the score is going to be 13 and a half to zero. That's what this feels like. 14 to 0.5. I just want to point out, Alabama lost to a team that lost to Ohio State, which lost to Michigan.

And also, Michigan has already, as noted, Michigan has already been, I'm just reading my notes right now. Michigan has also already beaten Alabama this year along the way to a national title, something Alabama hasn't won for four seasons and counting. Those are my entire notes for this game. It's not rocked up on all the information other than the reliable. quest um their relia questness of it all outback it's the upback bowl god damn you all over the bones the remnants the fossils of outback shrimp bones they have put tampa cybersecurity concern

we're starting next next time you order a bloomin onion ask for it boneless just see what they do can i get a relia quest onion medium rare I need the Ralea quest. Hoot and onion. I, good I. Could I get a Rala request? Jesus. No, no relias.

No. Just quashed. Arn R, NAR. Arn R. I, I hear, you, you mates need sober security. Well, come on down to Turnpah. This is a really good impression of Spencer doing an impression. It is.

Turn for Florida's Gurdas server security firm. Welcome to the Relairus Bile. This is an Australian who stepped on a rusty nail and lockjaw is sitting in Alibirah Burr of Michigan. I've been bitten by one of our

Ghibit creatures. That's old tettinous bill. On one side line, Callender Burr. Listen, you don't do it Aussie exit. Jason is established with the Aussianxed. I'm the ranking Australian now.

Turnusville. Listen, he's the native Georgian and Australia was also a penal colony. It's only right that we give him this throne. I would like to see one Mad Max episode set in Georgia, just for the...

Georgie. Georgie. It's called Georgie. We already got that. In that case. I mean, we literally have an ongoing water War with Tennessee, so the script just writes itself. My name's Caden. It's the only way to save the Tennessee, Georgia

series, is to make it for water rights. I like that in this version of the Mad Max Wasteland, Augustine National is still operating exactly as it is. That's where all the water is going. I like that the movie would cover

far less ground. Everyone's just stuck in traffic walking toward each other between cars. Drop your weapons and you will be given pimento cheese Six Flags is the jail Six Flags is the prison planet And Morton Joe has a green jacket As a member

Gonna be driving over to Chicken Wingtown Chicken Wington Chicken Wington I mean how do we not already have a bullet farm Doesn't that sound like something we would have I think that's the six hour factory yeah No, wait, Fayetteville.

Just spraying chrome shit everywhere. That movie's about Georgia. Come on. Tony the Tiger Bowl, the Sun Bowl. That's right. Is that Australian? Are you trying to do it again? Does Tony?

Ah, it's Gus Johnson. Does Tony have a Gus nickname? Tony. I call this guy the tiger. Wait, no, he calls him Anthony. Call him Frost. He's doing the Hollywood thing. where if it's like pretend the popular famous person

Anthony is your good friend Tony So what if he inexplicably goes Castilian Spanish And he's like Antonio Frosted flakes Antonio Which games is Gus Johnson actually calling this postseason? Don't worry about it Probably the one on CBS I think

That seems right that's your opinion I'm so mad that they don't have like an El Paso-Fide version of the college football theme but with horns right we could do it mariachi style it would be so it would hit

it'd be great I bet somebody can get that made for you yeah we could do it yeah Corey you're listening to right Corey get us a mariachi band we have we have Corey the hardest working member of the full cast

we have several talented Definitely. Musicologists who whip that right up. He's definitely given more creative. In terms of the pure rage that we exude on this show, it kind of makes sense that a full eighth of our audience is made up of band directors. Y'all, come on.

Shout out to Trey as well. Shout out to, what's up, Trey. Shout out to Trey. Shout out Christian. Louisville at Washington. Washington will be the home team for this one, which is just the natural thing for the long Pact 12 affiliated Sun Bowl.

And also more like a short pack 12. Their geographic proximity. Their geographic proximity. Their cultural compatibility with El Paso. As we all know, the Pacific Northwest and Mexico, same place. This is

also the grand uncle of them all. Everyone will remind you of this. It's my favorite bowl fact when they're like, you know what the second oldest bowl is? You're like, who fucking cares? It's a sun pole. Okay, if you had a guess right now. because most people would guess like the sugar or the cotton or something so it's a surprise

it's surprising that it this thing has survived that long if you if you had to guess right now is louisville a closer drive to el paso or is seattle louisville it's seattle it's louisville louisleville's a shorter drive seattle is 1,692 miles away according to google maps Louisville, 1,470 miles away. This might be... I didn't think it would be that close. This might be the least convenient bowl game for both participants. I'm sure there's another one that I'm forgetting,

but this is probably pretty far up there. Just combined mileage for both sides. Liberty fans having to, like, go to a different country is definitely inconvenient for everyone. That is a long drive. But this is right up there. I do want to drop one thing. I do think it's in this age of,

of having weird concepts and military contractors as bull names. And, you know, we yearned for the simpler times of the return to the Papa John's dot-com bowl. And I do find it strangely charming to have a bowl game that is named after not a serial, not a serial company, but the mascot of one specific cereal. I like that specificity. And it doesn't even rotate. No. Like that's, I would maybe understand it more.

if they were like, we're trying to, what is, what is Frosted Flakes? General Mills, Kellogg's? I don't know. Kellogg's, yeah. Kellogg's. Probably. I would understand more if Kellogg's is like, well, we want to, the Kellogg's cinematic universe is important. So we have to like keep everybody involved, but it's just Tony. The Coco Pop's. Also, it's called the Tony and the Tiger Sun Bowl, which like, bear it, which like, there's no mention of Frosted Flakes in the title of the bowl, which makes it weirder to me. No. But also, in a very specific sunbowl sense,

this kind of tracks semantically. It could be brought to you by the Pringles Man. It could be brought to you by John Harvey Kellogg, who I think he was the guy who invented cornflake

because he wanted kids to stop jerking off. There's like a 30-year period where all foods were invented to stop people from jerking off. Have we discussed this? They put the anti-jerkin-off

sponsor in. But like the anti-jerk-off sponsor, now sponsors handjob Hill's bowl game, With one of the online horniest creating mascots. Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, we definitely talked about that part. How many generations into the audience are we now from those of us who saw the handjob on handjob Hill live on television?

When was that? Just Google El Paso Handjob. On the computer that your kids sometimes. I'm typing, need one very badly. I feel like it was good. Does this crackling oat brand have a mascot? Okay, this appears to be from 2000. This is 2008 during a U-Tap, Texas game.

Bob Davy was the one who circled it on the Telestrator. Boy, you really started that sentence off. So in three years, we can have a retrospective and checking in on everyone involved. Dude, okay, here we go. This is an off-season episode. We're going to do a fake oral history of the Battle of Handjob. Hill. Manual history.

Right? Digital history. Do it up like malice at the palace style, but we'll like, we'll get actors and shit to do it. Yeah. I could not believe what I saw. Do you think there's somebody who got engaged at like, not these, maybe these two, who's to say? Maybe there's somebody else who got engaged and is like, oh, it's very easy to remember. Maybe their kids are at U-TEP and they're like, I'm sitting where?

What an honored location, a tradition. from generation to generation. Truly the sunbowl, a tradition unlike any other. Maybe two people were getting engaged right next to. Maybe the hand job was a distraction. You know when you're setting up an engagement? Also, she looked bored. Well, it's like we need to divert attention so that we can set up the camera.

And then, oh, no, not that much of a distraction. That's probably what happened. Well, this was a five and seven Utep team. So I understand why they were bored. Also, in that same game, like the camera caught my, and lingered on Mike Price with just like a full handful of his own balls and just stayed that like

it was a very like it was a very crotch forward broadcast it happens so Mac Brown was at the handjob of hill game okay good yeah I was there of all the times to not send in your stepson it was there I got the idea to extract energy from another man

that's what she was do it for sure. On that day, I witnessed the power of physical touch and decided to apply it for my own benefits. I just remember, the only thing I distinctly remember is I was like, all the videos gone from YouTube and everything. God, we really are just losing. My legacy. My legacy will only be released upon my passing. On the other hand, what an amazing thing this would have been to Mandela effect. So this means there's a 2008 Utep. game on the dark web that's the only place you can find is a random football game yeah it's probably on boy hub i'm going down silk road not nothing just watching utap football i'm just checking up

on the minors with any matt brown is retired mac brown is retired which means that we can maybe call him for an interview about this and tell him what it's about i just want to see what he says so judge kirk before we approve your application to the supreme court You can get away With anything these days You can be like Brac Cabin It might be in your favor Fuck you I was watching U-Tap

I like watching videos Of bored hand jobs I'm a red-blooded American I prefer when they're bored Yeah I like it when they look That's weird That part you said about liking

When it's boring That's weird That's the number one search result Missouri You'd be surprised It would be one of those fake porn maps When they're like Number one category search

They're like Bored chick in the desert dismal makeout she didn't look like she was particularly enjoying herself but you know what she was doing getting it done? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, sure. Grindset. I mean, it's football mindset. On to the next play. Yeah. You know what? Getting it done just like. What was their plan for after though,

man? It's not like there's a bathroom up there. I think you're just going to like, you're going to watch the second half of Utah, Texas and you're jizzed up khakis? Maybe it was just fired. it down the hill. Louisville's 8 and 4.

They've lost four, one-score games against two playoff teams. Miami could have made the playoff and ACC arch-rival Stanford on the road. That's a pretty impressive season

for Louisville. Meanwhile, Washington, coming off of a national title trip, employed Steve Belichick, and that experience inspired Bill Belichick to join the ACC, the conference, Stanford plays in.

Everything revolves around Stanford. That's it. Those are Steve Belichick voices again. It's a squeaky. It's Australian. Hey, guys! he's awesome I like that you have him

Piping up like a Muppet He's got a beanie with a propeller On his cat Defensive coordinator Elmo Scrappy dew What's your defensive plants Steve has no plants The

The at the same time Big Gatlin'Hage because this is always a good one. Man, the things that have happened to make this game a reality in terms of what coaches ended up where if you told me five years ago, you're like, yeah, Brett Bilema,

he's going to be at Illinois. And then Shane Beamer is going to be the coach at Carolina. And Carolina is going to look like the scarier team. That's nuts. like that's absolutely bonkers that a quality bowl game with a good payout is occupied by not only these two teams

but these two coaches yeah yeah this really is like probably the third best bowl outside the playoff starring these teams yes these teams this is a pretty good game like yeah this is we weren't joking drop South Carolina into the playoff anytime you want

they'll play both of these games Shane Beamer will do that shit. He'll be like, we'll give you $340 bus fare and a night at the Hampton Inn. And he'd be like, done. I did like win a handful of a handful of very loud, let's put it that way, SEC people were complaining about the playoff structure and like it should have been more SEC teams, whatever. The general reaction seemed to be, but okay, but only if you're referring to South Carolina.

Yeah. That's the only team anyone was willing to even consider agitating for. I feel like South Carolina has such big like they're on that like big wrestling style push to get over and everyone's sympathizing with it for the most part like this would be a great finish to that for a team that I don't think anybody saw was going to be at 15 much less with the the capability of like beating Clemson and finishing with 10 wins that would not be where I would have put them. but you know what? Lenora Sellers Proved us wrong. Well, you know the easiest way to get a wrestler over

and there's lots of proven examples of this now and in the past is to have a really good entrance song and what does South Carolina have? The crowd loves it. They love singing along with it is what they do.

Everywhere you go, they're they're doing the hand motions. Yeah, they'll do that all. They've got a great bit like in terms of bits. Yeah. Wait, what are they?

hand motions to sandstorm. Oh, it's crazy stuff. You'd have to, you'd have to, you'd have to, you'd have to, you'd do a little sand. You do, I don't know how I don't know this. It's a hand job. El Paso style. It's whoever next to you. Columbia style. Real fired up.

Real hot. Real hot and sweaty. Way too, um, active and engaged. A sexually active sandstorm sounds so goddamn uncomfortable. It's a dirty Spider-Man too. Yeah. Fun fact about Kiffin pouting because his 9-and-3 team didn't get in. According to ESPN Strength the Schedule metric, both of the 9-and-3 teams in this game played harder schedules.

Oh, I don't even think that's particularly close. There are some metrics where Ole Miss comes out ahead of Illinois, but otherwise, in ESPNs, they don't. I mean, Illinois's three losses to Oregon, makes sense, to Minnesota. Okay, that's kind of fucked up. And to Penn State. It's fucked up in a like the big ten is like this way. Yeah, but it's also like the, I don't know, we woke up kind of sleepy that day.

Like you get one of those on the schedule if you're a team like Illinois, I think. So if Illinois hadn't lost to Minnesota, just imagining a world where they finish it just ahead of Alabama and everyone spends the weekend yelling, we should have let Illinois in. And no coach will argue with this. Like, Brad Bieland will be like, hell yeah. We deserve to play for the national title. You're like, you're Illinois. He'd be like, yeah, I don't care. Put us in.

Or who? Or who? Yeah, we're who? Also, this game is on ABC, like the FCS games were, so you know it's important. And speaking of FCS, remember the excellent FCS title game, Montana State, North Dakota, State on January 6. Yes, January 6th, that's the funny day. And the D3 final, the day prior, Mountain Union versus North Central. just because, you know, we should mention

those games as well. South Carolina, Illinois will be disgusting. Gamecox favored by nine and a half. It's kind of a lot. I think it will be disgusting but fun. Yeah, it's a complimentry when I say that. Like, you're going to see somebody huck up a ball. They absolutely shouldn't.

I realize I'm talking about SMU of Penn State. Also, on the Sun Bowl on the hill, someone's hucking up a ball. Two of them, actually. Yeah, this is one of those games where I feel Like, you go to Costco and you buy all the stupid fumbles they have in stock first, right? Like, that's this game. A lot of stupid fumbles.

They were giving them out his samples. They were delicious. Yeah. I had to take the whole palette. Why doesn't the Cheez-It bowl try to even, like, slightly match what the Pop-Tart bowl is doing in the same stadium? Like, there is no, we're, oh, it's time to eat all the Cheez-It man or anything. Like, there's none of it. Yeah, well, like, they do.

They're, like, we dump Cheez-It's on them, and I don't remember which bowl started that. I didn't they have the giant cheese it? Did they? Does he die? Does he crucify for our sex? Is he ritually sacrificed? Is he toasted before our eyes? They make the world's biggest cheese it or something?

I don't remember. Anyway, well, I can maybe answer the question from a resource standpoint, which is that both of these are Florida citrus sports games. And that does seem to suggest. and some people that work at Florida Citrus Sports are longtime listeners of ours. Let us know if there is like a bitter internecine office war going between the Pop-Tarts bowl teams and the Cheez-It bowl teams. Because these are put on by the same concerns. So this suggests that the ability is there.

I think maybe they just decided Cheez-It's are for normal people and Pop-Tarts are for freaks. These are for the people who don't want their pre-packaged snacks to come with eyes. Yeah. Although this bowl really does have. So for a long time, the Super Bowl had this really ironclad, sticky form of marketing at the end where it was like, hey, you just won the Super Bowl. Where are you going? I'm going to Disneyland. Right. Okay. So if we have an MVP for this game, if we have an MVP for this game. I'm going to the Pop-Tarts Bowl. What for the Cheez-It Bowl? What does the MVP say? Ryan, I think you're already down. When you put the mic in front of his face. face. That they woke up film the cheesiest. Yes!

Yes! That's it. For the record, Holly's mom, that was Holly who answered that. Not me. Since that happens sometimes. It really did. It'd be happier with a son. The Kinders, Texas Bowl.

The what? Kinders. What's that? Maybe it's the barbecue sauce. it is okay Kindas I was hoping it was

Kinder Kinders What's Kinder's barbecue sauce How do you say it Bavarius Finest Yeah that's

Kind of Kinders It's very good Yeah Tide to get Footprint of the American market Did I say it wrong No I'm just being an idiot

Okay It's a barbecue sauce for children all right good-eye you look like you could use some Kinders Warwicky Sors

Kinder Hurr's Oh, nar I flore all the way from camper Well this This ball and I paddled

More Sorobart All the way Across a gol from Oxikai Jason Would you please Say the names

of the two teams In this bowl game In that accent The Bala Bavs are the LSU Tagas? Sponsored by barbecue sauce. I like that both these teams are 8 and 4 because Baylor's really, really happy about being 8 and 4, and LSU is really sad about being 8 and 4. But you're going to see them in the national title next year.

We're on the way. we're on the way we're on the way look out forever on the way Is this the biggest comedic improvement and sponsor because remind us that we're jumping up

from the Tax Act Bowl Is that what this used to be? Huh, okay. Yeah. Fun. The Tax Act Bowl. Yeah, like Baylor got here on a crazy arc.

They had a wild first half of the season and turned around because they lost three in a row and they were dead in the water and everyone was writing Dave Arandas like walking papers

and then they won six in a row because the Big 12 is random. The Big 12's just a series of spinning barrels, baby. Pull the trigger and see what happens. Last time Brian Kelly lost five games in a season. It was

indeed the 2016, 4 and 8 Notre Dame year. Thank you. You know, Baylor's favorite here by a point. What if they told you that at beginning of the year, that LSU would end up being an underdog against Baylor. I'd be like, damn, bailer must have balled.

Damn, holy shit, 12-win Baylor. That's awesome. Hang on, what? They'll be playing in a Texas bowl game. Wow, Baylor in the Cotton Bowl. That's amazing. It's going to annoy Brian Kelly so much if he loses to Dave Miranda because at the halftime handshake,

it's going to be like, Brian will be like, hey, good game, you guys have a great year, and Dave will be like, I don't even know. how we did that Brian it's just that we I suffer from such doubt and my team really I didn't know what's going to happen you know coach Kelly I was studying the words of Marcus Aurelius when

and he's like oh I left Notre Dame get away from this shit hey Jason you know Brian as St. Augustine said I yes hey Jason if I paste a sentence from the bowl website into the chat here can you say it in

the voice because there's some alliteration we're only I don't know what, we're only calling it the voice now because I'm, that is the term. Lason, I'll guard. Because there's some alliteration at the end here that I want to see what you do with it.

Okay. Wow. I, good eye, treat yourself to a fray country music concert at the rustic downtown with the carback kickoff concert presented by Kriger. Kroger was what?

God. That's what they sound like in Australia. That's what they call Kroger in Australia. Yeah, all the mini Kroger's is there. I say we just keep trucking and plow right into the Wolfman versus the Wrangler. That's right, Penn State, Boise State, a semi-quarterfinal, one of those. final right yeah yeah yeah yeah oh this is new these are new terms that we're learning here as fbs football fans curder fernal uh Penn State is one of the country's best defenses

ashton gentis on the other team that's the schematic breakdown here that's Abdul Carter versus ashton ginty is uh is a cool matchup like I'm gonna look forward to watching that um it'll also be really interesting to see if boise like if they slow gentie down They're going to have to get, have to do something they're really... The night they slow it old gint you down. If they can slow him down, if they can, boys will have to pass the ball, something they sometimes have just declined to do entirely this year, which is exactly what I would do if I had that at tailback.

So like no slander there, just saying you might have to figure out different ways to get the ball downfield other than my running back takes at nine yards every carry. Yeah, he's hit after running for one. one, and then he runs for 80 more. Yeah. It feels like there are two possible ways for this to go, and this is not based on I have studied the tape or anything like that. It's just more of like there's a lot of games that end up like one of these two.

One is they mostly bottle him up. He breaks free for one or two runs, reminds everybody he's awesome, but, you know, Penn State's just too good, too talented, and it's a little bit of a bummer, but great job, Boise State. The other version is, we have a Fiesta Bowl. Boise State is 3 and 0 in these games. And a stat you're going to get sick of is that Penn State is 7 and 0 in these games. So, yeah, the winner of this game is the all-time fiesta god, party king,

Lord of all merriment. But, yeah, I mean, we've seen it happen before with this very team in this very game. Was it the same stadium at the time? Maybe. Oh, was it the pink taco? Yeah. Penn State's favorite by ten and a half. Do the song.

Do the song. Podcast business. What's the business? Podcast business. It's a business. Podcast business. It's the song we sing. When it's time to sell you stuff and make some money.

That's the way to do. Homefield apparel.com. No, more excited than that. Homefield apparel.com. Always bringing you new and exciting things. One of the new and exciting things you can get a homefield apparel. Apparel.com, since we're talking about Penn State on this episode, the Penn State Women's Volleyball National Championship Collection. Women's Volleyball fucking rules, and this

particular tournament was awesome as well. And Holmfield understands that, and that's why if you are a fan of Penn State's championship volleyball team featuring, amongst others, Joe Juravicious's daughter, and Joe Juravicious looking absolutely like he was ready to crawl into his his own skin at the national championship game in Louisville you can go to home field apparel yeah how how does he crawl into his own skin wormhole how do you get to home field apparel also we're practice wormhole oh wormhole and once you're in the wormhole once you're staring out into the netheres of time and space once you've entered the fifth dimension you know what it's cold in it you know what's

cold in the wormhole so you got to get warm got to put on that homefield Fleece. That's the only way you can survive. The deadly vacuum of space. When I go to space, don't forget my hoodie. That's right. Hey, you know what? Just be safe two hoodies. Never know what's out there. Might get dirty.

Yeah. Yeah, I was the first got to wear shorts and a hoodie on the moon. Wouldn't you like to be that? You can. If you go to wholefield, burl.com, use offer code forecast, you get 20% off at first order. You go to the moon. You pop that suit off because NASA was lying to you the whole time. There's definitely air on the moon. And then you fucking rock out in joggers and a hoodie. Are you kidding me?

Look at me. There's no water on the moon? How come I got this two-lane wave on the moon then, bitch? This is exactly what a team from a southern state would do if it had to play a football game on the moon. Let's walk around without a shirt. It's not even cold. It's not even cold up here. Look how tough we are.

Look how tough we are. I wish there were less gravity. Fewer gravity. There's no gravities in South Carolina. That's why we're so tough. That's right. That's right. Speaking of fewer, more.

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Interstellar. Shit. More. I'm going to go watch it again. Is it still an IMAX? So good. The closest one to us is in goddamn Fort Lauderdale and I'm sick about it. Huh.

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If I'm looking at this I might continue to do What winners have done all season long And that is just you see that big more button We're going to rehearse this Bang, Ashton Ginty Total Yardage Hey Jason, what'd you going to do with that?

I'm going to invest it in more Moors on Ashton Jentee Bang! That's right Your loss on that planet just made waves More! Bang! Ashton Ginty runs for 80 yards on that planet It's like a thousand on Earth Matt David lies

More More his ass Select people complaining about plot holes Less, less, it's a space opera You fuck Yeah, I have a little fucking culture We sent Matthew McConaughey to space be cool All right

Yes, it is cool what a terrifying voice that's all right that's why they cast him right you're like oh my god that's a wormhole and he's like but it's cool but it's pretty cool man

but I don't like the movie has Anne Hathaway in it she's great shut up that's fine that means it's canonically lame is yeah which is also great

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and then play your first $5 lineup. Prize Picks! Run your game! It is time as always to play More or less, our special game sponsored by prize fix. Spencer, I have selected you as the punished competitor for this edition. This is a special year-end review of sports, more or less. I'm going to give you some simple questions where you just have to identify which of the two in the category I'm giving you.

Did more of the thing. I will tell you right now, there's only one college football question in it here. I'm going to let you choose. Do you want that one first or do you want it last? as your sort of pull in case of emergency. No, let's get on the board or get wrong first. Yeah, let's get the embarrassing one out. All right, all right.

Here's your college football more or less for 2024. Okay. Who scored more offensive touchdowns in 2024? The Florida State Seminoles or Iowa running back Caleb Johnson. Iowa running back Caleb Johnson. that is correct because to be fair to be fair yes floor state smell very bad very stink bad however kale Johnson was awesome so like that's not that's bad by any terms when one player scores more than the whole team but if one guy were to do it that's a

that's the least painful just such sounds not scoring admittedly Florida State gets special teams credit. Caleb Johnson, 23 touchdowns, Florida State 20. Not enough, certainly. All right. Less, less. You've gotten on the board. All right, let's immediately go hard.

Spencer, who won more games in the 2023, 2024 NBA season? The Chicago Bulls or the Atlanta Hawks? They're different teams. They're vastly different teams. One of them has won a lot of NBA titles. Well, I just spent this year, Ryan. One of them, however, was an NBA Cup semi-finalist.

That's right. Spencer, I will tell you, neither of these teams made the playoffs in the 23-24 NBA season. So which one won more games across that span covering? I'm going to say the Hawks. You're incorrect. The Chicago Bulls 39 and 43, the Atlanta Hawks, 36 and 46. I don't feel bad about that shit at all. No one should know about those teams.

This is inadvertently a plug for Hand in the Dirt, the best NBA podcast out there. That's right. Spencer, we'll bring it back to football for you, but not the collegiate sort. Who has thrown more picks so far this NFL season? We're recording this on Monday, December 23rd. Will Levis or Kirk Cousins? I'm going to go Kirkgo Bangs. Kirk Cousins has indeed

He is the NFL leader in interception throne With 16 Despite not playing yesterday Well Will Levis didn't play yesterday either So that one kind of even down a little bit We're keeping it fair That's right We'll have 12 interceptions

Kirk is probably done playing So we'll see if Will can catch up Spencer WNBA question Who attempted more three-pointers in the 2024 WNBA season The Las Vegas Aces

or Caitlin Clark the person I'm going to go Caitlin Clark is incorrect Caitlin Clark did lead the league with 355 three point

attempts their whole team idiot but the Las Vegas aases did attempt 21 more three-pointers than Caitlin

I'm fine that margin is small enough to me that's a pretty good guess and there are several WNBA teams I could have

picked where the answer would have been Caitlin Clark okay I feel okay about that your final question you're a world

Traveler, you've seen many things over the course of your life and you're quite old. Who finished the 2024 Summer Olympics with more gold medals? Host Nation France or hated rival Great Britain? Oh, this is good. I'm going to say, hated rival, Great Britain. I'm sorry, host nation France, 16 gold medals to Great Britain's 14. Again, your Tory apologism knows. No bounds.

No, my. But you did successfully get, let's see, two? Two out of five. Two of these questions, only the football questions. That'll listen, that'll get me in the baseball Hall of Fame, and that's been my goal all along. No, that's a different sport. You're only good at football.

Spencer, name three players who are eligible for the Baseball Hall of Fame this year. No. Okay, that's correct. Yeah, no. That's correct. Damn, he's, he's defeated my baseball Hall of Fame. of fame puzzle I would

run I forget that with age comes I would prefer not too great great age comes wilyness yeah

and that as always was more or less presented by prize picks I feel good about my misses there although the great

Britain one I really should have just gone with host nation wins more but you know it does lead me to be like

you know I can be like well it's still coming home it's still coming home it's got to be a familiar

sensation for you at the very least I'm just sitting here, breathing.