Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40, Part Three: The BIG BOWLS, and also Wisconsin discovers Vegas buffets

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

In part three of this year's 40 for 40 preview spectacular, Holly, Jason, and Spencer cover Why tertiary character Pat Narduzzi can't carry a full storyline by himself for Pitt Wisconsin getting the classic "garden hose of Jack" at a Vegas buffet Utah playing every snap with eleven fullbacks on every play The exhausting personal life of Tony the Tiger at the Sun Bowl A generic preview of your bowl game if it gets canceled after we publish this podcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown full cast. Do you know you can howl if you want to? That's fine. Because you can do anything you want when you're the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. As always, I am joined this week by just the two, not the three, co-hosts, because again, Ryan is out on paternity leave. He just can't stop making children.

Staying away for four months just so that we all noticed that he had sex. Yes, the audacity. I respect it. To my right is Holly Anderson. Holly, how are we doing? I have no complaints at this time. I am sure that the number will rise as the show continues. And from beautiful Kennesaw, Georgia, has gone from grizzled to baby-faced in the swipe of a razor.

Jason Kirk how are we doing sir so now that Ryan is congrats on the sex now that Ryan is gone recovering from having sex I am now the only one whose location is mentioned during the intros so

I think maybe we should invent a fourth person who also has a location but Brian Floyd from Washington State there we go yeah Brian Floyd how's all the snow we invented brian floyd to be clear he is a simulacrum

a part of the result of many many hours of delirium and math what town are we going to put brian in towns snow homish because it's fun to say snow homish is a good one yes that's a really good one i like walla walla walla is also i like maltby maltby i like federal way or wherever if you have ever have a chance to go to the Maltby diner. They have cinnamon rolls that hand to God come in. You know those clamshell

containers at the salad bar? Not the quarter-sized ones, the big ones. They have cinnamon rolls that fit one per thing of those. It's like the size of a hubcap. I like forks. Forks. That's where Twilight takes place. That's where Twilight's from.

Everything there is very blue and green and kind of pale, and there is always music playing loudly that makes you sad that's what I know about

forks that sounds dope as hell it's the only movie where I've ever actually seen another human being masturbating in a movie theater that one was this a man or a woman

oh ladies wow wow which part which part of the movie to be clear of the movie you know I don't remember

that's a you know was it the baseball scene probably everybody reacts that look everybody's reaction to muse is is specific to their fitness goals yeah um i don't really know where to go from that so i'm just going to jump right in um with the thing that i've most enjoyed from bowl season to this point this is uh reporting from linden blake uh an Auburn person that's a that's a Georgia quarterback you can't fool me Blake Lyndon Lyndon blake yep passes the test Lyndon you could be a quarterback for the University of Georgia

it doesn't look like it's hard Lyndon tweets this the Houston coach not Dana Holgerson the Houston coach that coach out west that coach

Rudy Tomjanovich more people should use the that coach out west designation because it spells T-Cow It does, you know, the beloved Rudy T. That makes Jim Harbaugh, T. Khan. Wow. Yeah, makes your thing, doesn't it?

Opens his press conference by complaining about how long Auburn's press conference was. Wow. Dan follows it up by quote tweeting herself and saying, he also yelled, hurry up during Brian Harsen's conference from outside the door. You know, I didn't actually think I could love him more. and every day that ceiling rises we've all been stuck in a sermon

yeah first time at a charismatic service for Dana Holderson I think how long what did Dana have booked was Dana was Dana basically like a get me out of Birmingham because I've been there with Birmingham not that Birmingham's always a hard stay

but from time to time I'm just done with the place and I'm ready to go yeah everywhere is pretty much the same but Birmingham can be hard to escape I think that just the only distinct, particularly trait of Birmingham is that once you're there, you're kind of there. But otherwise, it's the same, and it's just equally as fine as every other town. They're all fine.

Yeah. I do think it's important to note that Dana was unable to escape the situation because the one downside, perhaps, in moving the Birmingham Bowl from Legion Field is that there are no longer crumbling holes in the edifices surrounding and the walls surrounding the stadium. so he was unable to tunnel his way to freedom. The building was too new. That's, you know, he probably, he probably had a booster. Like, Tillman probably had the plane burning fuel on the tarmac so they could get to Biloxi. That's what I'm guessing. He's like, I got to get to the tables.

This job thing, you know. I just realized, sorry, I just, I just realized that Dana could now, based on his new geography, very feasibly live, not in a hotel, as he famously did. while at Oklahoma State, but on a river boat, on a paddle boat. Yeah, he could live on a barge. Riverboats are great because at least in Mississippi, you can still smoke indoors on them.

Just, hey, listen, just give me a barge. That's where I'm going to live. Live in a riverboat. Do you want like a fancy riverboat, didn't it? No, no, no, no. Just any old riverboat will do. Listen, I have a letter of recommendation. At one point during my 20s,

my then-boyfriend said, what do you want to do for your birthday? said i want to play cards on a riverboat and he said your birthday's in january and i said i want to play cards on a riverboat and that is how i wound up in vicksburg uh for my birthday that year playing let me tell you about the people you meet uh at a mississippi casino in the middle of the day in january it was no it was one of the better birthdays of my experience dana was probably there like even odds yeah dana was totally there but yeah that's by the way Houston coach, Daniel Holgerson,

whose team won 1713 over the 6 and 6 Auburn Tigers. Yeah. And on the final plays of the game, Tank Bigsby got one touch. That's all. That's all. Just wanted to point that out. Look, not to build different this,

but if I had command of a person named Tank Bigsby, I might drive it. Yeah. Just might. Might drive that tank. Jason. We are now in our increasingly inaccurately named 40 for 40 series. I don't think so.

I think it's, I mean, it was going to be 43, right? So we're pretty close to becoming, the universe is adopting our point of view. We are becoming more accurate. Honestly, I think it's going to end up us being more correct than we would have been if we had used the official number from the beginning. so sorry about all this are we still going to put one of these together at the last minute is what I'm wondering

will there be a bull that is changed sure maybe this record I mean yeah fuck it who knows I don't know who's in charge of any of this shit it might be us like we might accidentally be booking the entire yeah so we have

let's call it 13 more bowls to to preview in this episode and then we will be done. That is roughly the amount still appearing on the schedule, not counting the championship. We will also first do a little, we're going to do a little pre-preview for any of these that eventually becomes canceled because surely one of these will not be played. And what you can do, you at home, dear listener, is this is sort of like for you old millennials when you had the encyclopedia and every year they would mail you updates to the encyclopedia.

This is what we did before Wikipedia. And you pasted in the annotations in the encyclopedia that you already had. So this is what you will do with this MP3 file of this episode at home. Once one of these games is canceled, you will paste in the following, I don't know, who knows how long this will take, 30 seconds to six minutes. And that will be the preview of the game that was canceled. ready uh shit i didn't fuck i got to set the fucking timer okay this is this is counting as part of the six minutes okay we are now previewing the bowl that has been canceled after the time

this episode was published um it is tragic recording to be clear this is 450 p m on tuesday december 28th on eastern time yeah so uh the two teams who uh were supposed to play in this game. They had pretty good seasons. You know, not what they were hoping, but pretty good. It was an achievement to be playing in this bowl

on this day, sponsored by this company. You're being charitable, and I understand that, but I don't think this is where either of these teams wanted to be, you know? And a lot of times we say, you know, hey, they wanted to be there. I don't

you know what? I don't know that. Maybe Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't. You know, I was looking forward to a game that could have been good or, frankly, could have been bad. Or it might have just been okay. All of these things are, you know, I think all of these things, you know, could have happened. See, I would argue that they are in the ideal position heading into next season, you know, with all this upheaval in the conference. Because they got in the bowl practices and presumably got to go to SeaWorld, all of them.

the bowl games include some sort of outing to captive marine life and now they don't have to actually beat up their bodies in a full contact game i think the thing that happened there too with the narwhal and the defensive lineman that's inexcusable i don't think any water park wants to see that i don't think any water park needs that to happen i think the people responsible i think they should be held accountable I think you're being judgmental. I think the narwhal seem to enjoy it, and that's all that matters, really, as did the defensive linemen, to be clear.

And I am just glad the players got the complimentary gift pack, which includes hat and football signed by CEO of Company and shopping spree through... Best Buy. The boring part of Best Buy, like the refrigerator section of Best Buy. and that's that's just a really that's that's a great compensation for them uh in during that month of bowl practices that will only benefit the coach next yeah the uh the watch with like the um gas station company logo on it yeah it's a great watch to be fair because it's the kind

that but either team would have gotten had they played this game yeah Thank you. Shilling for big gas station. Watches. A thing teenagers wear. Watches that just tell time and that's all they do. Teenagers love them. Student athletes just wear them of their own accord. They do.

They're responsible people who manage their own time. So they have a built-in time manager. They are masters of their own schedules. Chrono wizards, all of them. Yep, so folks, once one of the following bowls is canceled, you just go ahead and clip these three-ish minutes of audio, plop it on in, and then your episode is now up to date and complete. We are now previewing the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl between Michigan State and our Pitt Panthers. I'm attending this game. Are you?

Yeah, this will be my one bowl visit of the calendar year. So, yeah. Is this your first pit game? I think so. Yeah, I think so. I think this is my first time seeing my alma mater in person. That's pretty exciting. I didn't even thought about that.

That is exciting. And you're really going to get a treat because you're going to get to watch Heisman finalist. And Pitgrate, Kenny Pickett, play for, you're going to get to watch. Spencer? No? Spencer. I can't tell if you're doing a bit.

So maybe you'll also get to watch on the other side. Oh, you are doing a bit. Okay, keep going. You'll get to watch Kenneth Walker the third play running back. See, I didn't want to do this because it sounds like we are talking about this as though they are. I didn't want it to sound like we are shit talking these guys for sitting out not one thing

and if I mean I think it's fair each team has has agreed to set aside one Kenny right it seems fair that is that's a fair contributing to the Kenny Reserve to the strategic Kenny Reserve

I the thing I find most amusing about this is a Kenny saved is a Kenny earned sorry there we do wow I just enjoy the peach having to you know like going cool we've got you know student athletes coming in who we're gonna give trinkets in exchange for this football game and then it turns into like we've got

Kenny Pickett we got Kenneth Walker you don't actually you don't we've got Pitt in Michigan State mortal enemies since time's dawn I I love that the storyline to get fired up about is like Pat Nard doozy facing his former tier no one gives the shit no one cares no he's not facing he's not facing his like friends or enemies like he just worked there man it's like this it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like me facing the the uh the ruby tuesdays i worked at for like too much like it's all about revenge it's an analog to it's kind of analogous to predicting where a coach will land by saying that they used to live there there's a lot of places that i used to live that i don't ever want to go back to again if you're down that that sounds like that sounds like

that sounds like we need a peach bowl to settle that then if you're down to patent Narduzia as a central character. Your IP is officially depleted. This is the Star Wars spinoff. Nobody wanted, right? Like, this is, we already had the bad batch. What's this?

This is, this is miles past that. This is the, this is the pat batch, bad patch, bad patch, bad bad bat batch. And you know, the great thing is that with either of these players out, I have no idea what this is going to

look like it's a mystery an exciting mystery i think one thing to keep in mind is that michigan state's defense sucks so it sucks it sucks so bad we have that going for us pit uh populace not pit nation but pit population pit posse patrol

the pit the pit patrol the uh the peach pit um the uh let's see the uh peach cobbler is always one thing that is uh catered well in press box so that will be my main highlight of the day well hey you know how that you know how the spartans play when they're cornered outnumbered that's right they get slaughtered that's that's but it takes a while and it's very but it takes a long time it's a great but it takes a while

it takes it's very chewy it frustrates xerxes and frankly that guy that guy's life is a little too cushy so can one of our can one of our off-season detours just be like a full hour on all the historical evidence and there's plenty of it for how much the spartan sucked yeah all of their stories are stupid like there's even i saw there was even a book that came out this year from a historian that this is just the point of the entire book maybe we can have them on yeah i think it's Patrick redford it's like very serious and it's like not stolen valor but it's like the shadows of warriors and I'm like,

stolen salary is perfect though. Just say they said to ass. Like, yeah, like the worst society in the world got extremely fucking lucky, like beat Persia on some absolute fucking bullshit. Like literally a perfect storm.

You know what it is? It's Auburn in the Otts. Squandered all of it building statues of themselves. Barton's got all that off coupons. Yeah. Did we hit the six minute mark? Mark. Well, we don't have to hit six minutes, but yes, it was almost six minutes. We are now moving along to the SRS distribution. Los Vegas Bowl. What a contrast between sponsor and locale there. I don't even know what SRIS distribution is. I'm going to guess it's related to sports reference. It's where my mind goes. SRS sports reference has one of the best team rating metrics historically. So this bowl is sponsored by Lou. well can i tell you what i think that was that was more memorable and more appropriate to the locale

and these two fan bases i'll tell you that sRS for shots rails and shots baby because wisconsin and arizona state are playing in this game who is going to have the more awkward photo up with the uh feather bedeked las Vegas dancers, Paul Christ or Herm Edwards. This is the real close contest. I think Herm. I feel like

Herm's been here before, though, right? No, that's a fair point. I feel like at this point, at this point he'll like find the dancers he knows and be like, you said you're studying for your MBA. How's that going? Paul's going to have the complete Midwestern or Las Vegas experience, though.

Oh, geez, did you see the size of that buffet? It was closed, but they opened it up again. I got shrimp. That's going to be him. He's going to be so jacked. This is a matchup between the Wisconsin and the Pac-12 team that most desires to be Wisconsin.

You might hear that and think, no, that's Utah. No, Utah is already the Utah of the Pac-12. Utah plays offense like Wisconsin. Utah plays offense kind of like Wisconsin. Utah's like wacky ball, Wisconsin, whereas Arizona State is skinny Wisconsin. Arizona State, all they want to do is score nine points and probably win. That's their entire, like, it's crazy.

Arizona State is the most boring team in college football, but that is the case. And now they're going up against, it's like the team that their entire, the university is founded on playing sports boringly. Come on down to Las Vegas, folks. I think you mean fundamentally sound sports, Jason? Sure do. With your smart out, like little attitude there. Yeah, that's, I, Arizona State is the weirdest team because they are the most edging team.

Like, they're just always so close to something happening. And if you watch them, it's the most frustrating experience because you go, oh man, they're about to score. No, they're not. they're not they're gonna they're these guys are about to score no they're not gonna let them score like this is a team that is always perpetually on the verge of something climaxing and you never quite get there yeah uh one of the slowest offenses in the country one of the most run prone offenses in the country um never throw it deep yeah it's this the and yet somehow somehow they end up like scored in the 30s somehow and i don't know how because if you go and look at the first downs you're like 13 first downs, 280 yards, 35 point, what? Like, value,

value shopping on points. And also they're playing in the Pac-12, so it's not the hard to score. So the numbers mean nothing. They mean absolutely nothing. It's not all that difficult to score 30 points in the Pac-12, I don't think. Just the Pac-12 is the football conference

whispering in your ear all the time. All is vanity. So this is, when they finally get to play Wisconsin, and now Herm is like, ah, good. Now this looks like football. We're only able to score 10 points.

That feels a lot better. Meanwhile, Paul Chris is like, this game's going to be over in two hours and 40 minutes. I can get back to that buffet. They got the hamburgers. They got the hamburger steaks. Those are different. You can eat hamburgers.

Okay, please, if anybody is listening to this and going to Las Vegas full, please ask Paul Chris in a press conference to elucidate in detail the difference between hamburgers and hamburger state. I know he has. So many opinions about this. And Salisbury steak, that's different too.

Yep. I want to hear them all. Yeah, I had a 64 ounce jack of coke and I was just sitting there, you know, plowing through the Salisberries. I hate my waiting steak tips. Yeah. Then I went over and played roulette. And that is your Las Vegas poll preview. We move ahead to the tax slayer gator bowl.

between wake forest software bowl yeah after what I love that tax act the the Rand Paul bowl sponsor has already had two with one more still to come but we don't acknowledge that no no tax slayer is the tax grift for me which is an impressive thing a grift of a grift the tax slayer gator bowl between Wake Forest and not Texas A&M Rutgers which is pretty much tagging and In for Texas A&M. If you wanted the opposite of A&M, that's a really good candidate. I need to tell you about the experience that I had learning about this game's changes,

which was that I left very late right before Christmas to get home to my parents, much like five hours later than I attended to. And I stagger in the door and I've got the dog and I've got my suitcase. I'm just dragging in. And my dad says, Rutgers is going to the gator, bowl and I was like you're insane and because this is the every once in a while like now that our parents have the internet every once in a while like I have a very dear friend whose parents live down the street from me who both parents were convinced at one point last week that

Nick Saban was retiring and I told them to just you know Google Nick Sabin retiring 2020 Google Nick Saban retiring 2019 but not before finding out the source of this which was they had both somehow and these are Alabama fans uh they had somehow wound up on an Iowa fan site that had reported this as news and Google put it in both of their news feeds um first of all this is a very great trick that I hope that Tim Cook was playing on all Alabama fans with iPhones he can target them specifically but so when when a parent says when when uh someone of my parents generation who is not in the business says that there is football news I usually just go uh-huh and so i'm i'm exhausted i'm half dead and uh dad says records is in a ball game and

i was like yeah sure they are dad and i go to bed and i woke up the next morning and the first thing he said was no seriously rutgers is in a ball game what i was like he's fucking with me but he doesn't usually hang on to it for like 12 hours so i this is a great story i thought it was a great story i think it's yeah i think the the the information Well, I think the disinformation that has plagued, I think all of our elder relatives for so long, it's sort of now it's playing tricks on us when they reveal news to us that it's like the, okay, grandma, let's get you into bed, mean. But like, no, grandma's right. Rutgers is in the cater bowl.

I was in no way prepared for him to be correct. Sorry, Dad. Next thing you know, Rutgers is in the Gator Bowl. So it in many ways the marriage of, I think, two powers that would be that really need to play each other. The smallest school in FBS football Wake Forest versus the school that invented football versus the town that has destroyed the concept of football, Jacksonville. This is, I think it's perfect. I think we've all come, we've all come full circle because who survives in an Armageddon? right, the small things, the little things. Wake Forest, the shrew, the canny shrew of the college

football world. And the old things. We'll probably score 70 points on Rutgers. And the old things. This is only the third time these Titans have met on the football field. They played in 1997 and 1999. Wake Forest won both of those encounters. So that's it. Those those games happened for some reason. This is, do you know what a bad game this is 20 years ago. Holy Christ on a bike. Just 20. It's just 20. Spin the fucking wheel and hit any, any year in the, since 1869. And this is, this is literally as good as it gets, right?

This is very likely the best possible Rutgers Wick for this game that has ever been. Like, Wake, wait was good in like the late 40s. Rutgers has never been good. So like, this is as good as it's ever going to get. this is the combined histories of these football programs are basically like five chunks of 10 and

five gallons of shit like even the good things you might find in there aren't really that valuable no so yeah this is the pinnacle this is the peak this may be this may be the best moment in Wake Forest history I know the ACC conference it really might the ACC title

was something but like even when that happened it was like 9-6 over a chance gay league Georgia tech team that's some ACC shit I think even ECC champions were like I don't know about that one so that year they finished 18th right

this year let's see they'd be 11 and 3 top 15 top 15 Wake Forest come on let's go ahead and call it best season in Wake Forest histories on the table if they can only

slay their final boss Rutgers Rutgers And I love that Like if they'd beat an A&M It'd be like shit Should they finish top 10 But now it's like oh

Top 15's on the table That's plenty for Wake Forest This is like if John Wick Ended with facing the henchmen He knocks out in the first like fight Right Like I'm back and I'm tired He has to face like dead bobbin

This time right But I already killed him It's Bobin, but he has a book in his mouth. Instead of Bobin, he's facing Matt Geiger or like Tony Kooch. A kind of paunchy Tony Kooch, if we're being honest. I'm facing Mark Price. Yeah. He's very tall.

He's not very, very, very, very sore. Free throws, that's it. Yeah. It's very wind. So that is our Gator Ball preview. Up next, we have the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl featuring Washington State and not Miami. As of current scoreboarding, it's Central Michigan. Does that sound correct?

Or Carnegie Mellon? I'm not sure. It's a CMU. Okay, okay. All right. Washington State, CMU, Winsopedia. Is this the first edition of the story? Okay, this is the first ever.

This is the first ever. CMU game and finally we get to see it folks thank god this is happening the haters the haters said it couldn't be done yeah wazoo has ducked CMU for years and years but no longer this is also sponsored by tony the tiger it's weird they had to go get a scab to fill a spot huh odd wait the thing is over that yeah right oh i'm sorry they're good they're good now tony's for the people now tony's for the people now tony's for the the people. Get your paws up.

Get your paws up. Tony has been tamed and brought to heal. That's right. Motherfucker. Get in line. Why are all the food bowl so weird? Like, why do we have to have the Papa Johns? We don't anymore, but why do we have to have the Papa Johns.com bowl and the Tony,

the Tiger Bowl? Why can't we just have the corn flakes bowl, frosted flakes bowl? Once again, I'm crying out for a return to simple commodities and local commodities. Yeah, like, let's, what a, what a, what a easy W to pass up. You can call your product the Frosted Flakes bowl. That makes me want to eat Frosted Flakes. I do not want to eat a bowl full of the tiger. No.

Depart from me. And rhetorically, coming at it from the other direction, what is the specific strategic advantage in, like, what is the huge difference between placing Tony the Tiger, like, as the, at the masthead of your bowl and not the cereal that he is known for? What is the win there? I don't understand the logic at all. is it um well it can't be like building up his personal brand because like he had to leave

twitter because every time he posted furries flooded his mentions wait is that real yeah they did yeah oh i was worried about him begging for sex tony the tiger can't post because furries like tony the tiger way too much and yet frosted flakes is chosen tony the tiger to represent the sunbowl instead of frosted flakes themselves so maybe this is tony the tiger's only way to be like present in um the uh the public space because social media is not working right and you can't like a space cereal bowl yeah safe space sun bowl yeah you know college football loves victim blaming so i guess what i have to ask is this uh tony the tiger still showing up nude it's but it's gonna be a bunch of horny furries drive it down to el paso tony guess we'll find out

yeah put a shirt on instead of that weird neckerchief you dick yeah that's not clothing that won't get you in the club, to be clear. I would also, I want to start a company called, called My Large Adult. Tony wants to leave the club, is what Tony has indicated. Please let me stop having sex with my fans. It's not great.

Wow. Trying so hard. I think this is the one bowl where I want to start a company called My Large Adult so that one day I can buy a sponsorship and this could be called the My Large Adult Sun Bowl. Hmm, mm-hmm, that's good. That's a long play.

I'm going to do it, though. Actually, it's going to happen. I mean, it's a bowl game, so like I guess you could just spin that up in a couple months, but so it doesn't need to be. Oh, yeah, I don't take a bunch of my large adult son coin. I'll just start a crypto concern. Speaking of large adult sons and cryptocurrency. Oh, you know what?

It's been a while since I've updated. everybody on the financial status of my two young, burgeoning barons of sons. If you don't know, we use the acorns.com app here to invest and save. How can you do that as an average person? I will tell you, you could go ahead, make that line go up, make your money go farther by downloading the Acorns app. That's right, the Acorns app, which has among other features, including your basic investment accounts, in a later account which helps you save for retirement and again the skull-shattering green debit card that weighs at least two pounds and is capable of of being thrown with great effect across

a bar if you need to do that has an early account for kids and we typically give updates on my children one of whom is one or both at this point have been embezzling and or adding to the account week to week without my knowledge and a quick check of the math here right now younger son a couple of these crypto plays must have gone through because he's fifty four dollars ahead fifty four dollars ahead even though i contribute the same amount of money to either account every single week a little bit here a little bit here there but folks it adds up after a while jason what else the people need to know about acorns dot com they will need to know that if you direct your computer to acorns.com slash

fullcast that you will start off with a $5 bonus in your acorns thing. Five of them. That's more, that's infinitely more than you would have if you downloaded this app without going to acorns.com slash fullcast.

That's free real estate. It's free real estate. Also, your body is a piece of real estate. You own a title deed to it, and what do we do when we own a plot of land? What has Monopoly taught us? Would have numerous video games taught us?

You need to build something on it. You will need raw materials, which you can acquire at homefield apparel.com to build structures upon the body, the real estate that is your body. They have clothes from a lot of college teams Maybe one you like Maybe several you like

Maybe some you hate They have logos that you probably haven't ever seen before Because they're too good Your school hates good logos So they hide them in secret places and Homefield finds them And Homefield makes shirts of them And you can buy them By going to that website

So you have two websites To direct your computer toward okay this is the second one homefield apparel.com where offer code full cast will grant you 20% off your first order your first attempt to build things on the real estate that is yourself

I believe college logos I believe home field is going to be doing 15 brand new big new Saturdays for basketball season what is that a tremendous number of college basketball season college basketball season

College basketball season. Yes, college basketball season. They're going to be doing a slew of new brands, new t-shirts, and the brands that will help you become something that, like the properties Jason talked about, you can charge people for looking at you. That's how good they are. When they look at you, $5. Or if you got a really nice one, you know, maybe 15.

Yeah, try that, Tony the Tiger. Yeah. Use it to attract. Or repel attention. Please let me sleep. Homefield has a whole section of animal mascots of various schools. So I would recommend, Mr. Tiger, if you're trying to deter attention from fur as you do not select one of those mascots because then you will only be doubling the effect.

But for the rest of you, give it a shot. Try the animal mascots. Or is it maybe a decoy? I guess it's worth a shot, Tony. What if Tony, if Tony the tiger puts on the shirt of a less attractive tiger, is he then disguised, I guess is what I'm saying. Or if he puts on a bulldog, because they're really ugly. Right, right, and sleepy and useless, yeah.

Zero skills. Like, there's nobody in, like, a cartoon bulldog. I don't know. You know, the very famous cartoon bulldog. Whenever that thing posts, there's nobody like, ooh, sexy bulldog. Oh, Mark Anthony, yeah. No, really, that's his name. Yeah.

The one in like the, the one in the, like, the, like, 195, uh, feed the kitty cartoon. Oh, okay, yeah. That's good a look at this. Oh, that's disgusting. What a disgusting creature. Yeah, this thing can post all at once. Nobody's bothering Mark Anthony, no.

Mm-mm. Homefieldapparel.com. Which brings us to our first playoff semifinal of the year. The good year cotton bowl classic. Yeah, we'll see. number four Cincinnati versus number one Alabama if this game takes place that will be it

otherwise it'll be a race to see which which team quits first right that's how it works whichever which whichever team runs out of available players first the other one automatically advances to the title game this is the system we have uh no no wait it's like go fish I have an update um in case you were wondering

I was sort of on the fence and hedging about whether I was, you know, thinking, well, I'm, you know, maybe, maybe since he could pull the upset, but I'm firmly on board now because I'm reading a headline from ESPN.com that says, Luke Fickle is up for the challenge of Alabama. Oh, God damn. He's got this. He's got it. I guess that is, yeah, that answers all my questions.

There, done. He's got it. I know. People are going to go, but what about, what about, you know, Alabama also being ready? and I'll be like, it's free real estate. Luke Fickle is ready for Alabama and it's free real estate. It says so right there.

They couldn't put it in the paper if he's not ready for Alabama. He's ready? And it's like, if it was like Luke Fickle ready for challenge of Nick Saban, it's like, well, yeah, he's twice his size. But. Also, like, legit.

Luke is ready for an entire state, it sounds like. Yeah, which is mostly true because he can't be. some ass he's a former like state champion in wrestling still in really good shape probably the actual like whoa which coach would you pick in a fight no you'd probably pick luke fickle he'd be fine we've done that episode like three times and i'm pretty sure luke is uh one of the first off the board every time i think i don't think there's a wiriness to him i don't think we've ever taken the approach though i think we've always thought well who's the most physically fit and able to

handle themselves i don't think we've ever approached it with who's got a pistol and we'll pull it out first i don't think we've ever used that as the criteria a little too realistic it is all of us it is a little too real but the answer is is probably somebody it's probably brian kelly i told you not to leave your garbage cans out again oh i'm sorry i told you not to leave your golden cans out again you're selling my property i think my property values when did he make in charleston well i think in his mind all southern accents I think he's going to become like a, he's going to be one of those guys who wears like a, like a really, really compensating Second Amendment shirt, right? Like, I'm a southerner out.

This is how they all dress, right? He's going to wear one that's like if there's, if there's a fight, I'm running toward it, follow me. If I'm running away, avenge me, if, you know, one of that type of shit. I'm a forklift operator and I love my wife and my gun. and I don't care who knows it. My wife touches my gun and you can't. Obama, one of those shirts is what Brian Kelly's going to wear. I'm a dentist from Biloxi and I have a debilitating video poker habit.

Why are you just reading documentaries? This is a reader question. I think this would be a great full cash shirt for us to make in the new year. And we can make multiples of them. If you were to make a full cash shirt with our particular antics on it, how would you word it? Please drop these as Twitter replies, and perhaps we will make a shirt of your idea.

That's a good idea. We've done all of this discussion, by the way, and none of us have actually said that Cincinnati is going to win this game. I respect all of us. What discussion did we do? none it's not really worth it um so bama is favored by two touchdowns okay um i think uh if you look at the test disrespectful yeah yeah yeah that's that's a lot that's a that's a lot the uh the advanced metrics would have it have it as fewer all right so we're applying a little

bit of a we're scared of bama tax this year even though bama's uh i think uh seven and six against a spread yeah um so i think there's there's good reason that to believe since you can keep it close i think um particularly because uh bama their like relative weakness they're still really good at it is like fast defense right that's kind of the one thing they're not awesome at and since he can throw a bit so i think there's what i'm pulling for here as a sensey uh a sensi supporter is garbage time touchdowns that make the final score look nice that's what i want yeah i'm using all my irrational emotion up on the the other semi-final.

So I don't have a lot left over for this. But as usual, at this point in the year, I just want something interesting and different to happen. Different would be a lot to ask. I want something interesting to happen. Let's get right to that other semifinal. The Capital One Orange Bowl between number two, Michigan, and number three, ugly bulldogs.

I'm going to be, I am so in the tank for Michigan on this game that it is not even funny, but also on the flip side. I am used to being simultaneously bored and disappointed by Georgia. You could get all of those things in one game. And I have really enjoyed watching them play this year, particularly Nicobi Dean, who I, I mean, hell, if I had a Ray Guy vote, I would have put Nickobi. No, I would not, not the, not the Ray Guy word that belongs to.

That belongs to another full cast Albert. But I would have voted for Nicoby Dean for the Boletnikoff this year if I could have just because I bet he'd be great at it. Let's give him the prosa. I put him up for the Ray Guy. I mean, yeah. the groza sure we can do the groza I give him best offensive line

if he wants to get the Joe Moore award yeah yeah this game's gonna rule the first half is gonna be like just like two teams competing to see which of them is the more right that's the sound

like six three seems just like yeah yeah it's just gonna be like we're establishing the run fuck you we're establishing the run not on my watch you're not gonna establish the run.

Guess what? I'm establishing the run. It's going to be, it's just like... One, two, three. Establish, no takebacks. Just two guys with the exact same outlook on life

and incredible stubbornness. I think stubbornness on Harbaugh's part, right? Whereas Kirby, it's more like a lackadaisical, I don't give a shit, this is what we do to get back on defense, right?

So like two different approaches to like the obsession with establishing the run. And, like, Kirby not giving a fuck about offense. Harbaugh's going to read that as what? That guy's trying to out-establish me? Uh-uh. That doesn't happen.

So this first half is going to rule. It's going to be disgusting, just disgusting. There might be two passes. They will both suck eight yards. I want a horrible, horrible, horrible football. There will be a hilariously botched trick play. Probably by Michigan. Michigan has...

Kirby is prone to nose, buddy. Kirby is pro. Well, that's Kirby. My favorite is Kirby Under Pressure. Kirby Under Pressure is the best because a lot like a Georgia graduate. He's got one thing that he wears all the time. In this case, it's defense and running the ball. And in Georgia fans' case, it's a nice polo and some khakis.

But if it's something that's a little freakier where they're like, that's not going to cut it, boy. Oh, man, they get off script, badly. Terrified and off script. What do I wear then? What do I do? I just, I can't stop thinking about the notion of Jim Harbaugh showing, like, winning this game and then coming down to a Georgia basketball game and sitting courtside and just, you know, needling Tom Crean and surrounding fans and shoving pizza into his mouth crust first because that's the most nutritious part. I just want this. I just want this to make this into the universe.

That's all I want, man. I want all of this. Well, we eat pizza crust first to get the heart. part out of the way. It really is. Oh, man. Oh, man. I bet he thinks eating pizza point first is lazy.

And I bet he won't even patronize one of those zero entry pools, like where it lets the toddlers just kind of walk. He's like, no, jump. The latter is for cheaters. When Jim Harbaugh eats pizza, crust first, is it not just, it's not like biting the side of the crust and biting the other side of the crust. No, he tears. No, it's straight up, straight up.

It's stretching his mouth joker wide, wrapping it around the entire width of the big part of the triangle, and then letting go of his lips, so they snap around the crust, and then he begins to chew, because that's how Bo would have done it. Listener, I wish you could see the gesture that Jason just made to pantom this action. He eats pizzas like the Red Army,

launches offensive, just straight in. I was thinking he bites down on one. corner and then tears but this is much better yep so that's what's in store for you Georgia should have thought about that before you lost to Alabama now you have to deal with this guy oh did they lose that did they lose to Alabama wow yeah they lost pretty bad kind of really bad um kind of fucked up their whole special thing they had going where it was like wow this is this could be their best team ever and I mean it still could be because they haven't you know it's not like not like the 1980 one was all that great

just didn't lose that was its only thing we're in the middle of a bit here but i again i will want to reiterate the 1980 team is pretty bad if michigan if michigan if michigan wins this game i'm taking off all of my clothes immediately and then wherever i am it you can get a big i'm going to go find tony the tiger i think he'll be busy this is uh i mean it's going to have his hands full at that point what was that song show them what you can do bring out the tiger in you the tiger is tired what do we cannot accommodate another lover there's a theme for this in the 80s that sounded weirdly like the GI Joe theme what what do we do if LSU makes the sun bowl and they play neck it's going to be just the furries are just going to ascend they say

Brian Kelly is going to have to be with the fallout from that and that is just fine I will be the one to suck that tiger's dick I volunteer his tribute no I volunteer is Tony's tribute All of us together The Tony's tribute

Circle jerk is a fun awesome Tony is so tired God this is the first bowl week It's going to need a splash zone Tony's flesh is sore and spent Oh God I don't want to be a bowl game

sponsor anymore. Ironically, ironically enough, Tony is considering going on strike until conditions improve. Tony himself has

scabs. Which brings us to the Outback Bowl, Penn State versus Arkansas. Oh, God.

Two highly predictable teams that every game they play is competent and even keeled and well-managed and sober and

serene and the closing minutes are always just efficient and mature and only the most analytical decisions are made and you know when there's five minutes to go you basically know how it's going to play out whenever these two teams are in it the everything i've said for the last minute has been a lie interesting yeah Arkansas is going to beat the crap out of them that is my call because i just Penn state if you've watched them which is a good confusing team? Is that fair? I think they're

a team that for at least the last few years, they just look like they get really stressed out. Like a high anxiety pet. They're very worried about football. Yeah. They don't appear to be

having a very good time. They don't play football like cats. they run away we leave the game once we flee sits there bathing themselves contentedly

yeah the clock is moving you have to do something no I don't no I don't nap I'm on my break Sunbeam

like if you could dretching time to get moving frantic I see ghosts run run run run run run run eat eat eat eat

Eat, nap, nap, nap, nap, nap, nap, nap. Stairs at wall. I think that's a pretty good encapsulation. Stairs at wall. Staring at wall, seeing ghosts, just flopping around. What was that? What was that? They started 5 at 0, and then this is what happened to their season.

2320 lost to Iowa. Everybody's played that game. That's fine. Sure. 2018 OT loss, double OT loss to Illinois. You're leaving. out some o t's but yes am i leaving it was it four what this is like the million o t game oh is this a million yeah the new one okay yeah so uh yeah yeah this was the yeah this was the nine o t game i'm

sorry i only missed it by seven accuracy the full cast hallmark the nine o t game versus illinois the 2018 nine o t game and then after that they're just kind of broken and all over the place. They lose 33, 24 to Ohio State when we all thought Ohio State was like leagues above everybody else. They went against Maryland. You know what that means. Nothing. Nothing. They lose 2117 to Michigan, which is in hindsight, pretty, you know, that's a respectable loss. Then they beat Rutgers 28-0. That's Bull Team Rutgers, by the way. And then they lose 3027 by Michigan State. I think your read as them is just being anxious. is the most accurate one because

the margins on these games are not huge like they really if they just if they had just not stared at the wall or not gotten distracted by a toy or not skedaddled out of the room when they heard a weird noise they didn't like

they could have done much better than seven and five yeah the Illinois game in particular that's one where like they're so close you done anything all day there there's a mouse running around on the kitchen floor three feet in front of you and you are looking at it you're looking at it you're a cat all you're here to do is to kill that mouse that's all i ask of you and you're just looking at it it's illinois kill the mouse you're licking your stupid hand wiping your head that's already clean because you haven't moved for two days Penn State offense

Nitty kitties they're so close to just being a good like a perfect pet they're so close and they're never going to get there Penn State's so close to being awesome but they're just never awesome this conversation has given me more affection for Penn State than I think I may be ever

I mean they're really fun I've come completely around on Like, I look back on Penn State Auburn is like, man, what a treat that was. I wish that had been the title game. Just like the two most stressed out teams of all. And the two fan bases that are just like every week, they're just like gearing up for dumb shit. Right? Because, like, it's not the fans that feel the anxiety.

It's the actual football product. The fans are like, oh, this is going to, this is going to suck really bad. The fans are the ones who are like, we have to see if we can train this cat. Can't fucking train a cat. Arkansas, meanwhile, truly pig-like. They went, win, win, win, win. Then, loss, loss. Then win, win, then loss, win.

They only win in streaks. Yeah, looking at their win expectancy, there is another team we talked about this for, but like, 100, 100, 195, 0241, 100. They very much are like, no. lies with Arkansas. It's either they're on or they ain't got nothing. Their whole schedule. They don't waste your time. Their whole schedules just rocks for jocks and math

101. Then it's like quantum mechanics. Yeah. Thank you for the Arkansas takes quantum mechanics noise. So here we go. Folks, if you, if that was a little too chaotic for you, let's bring it down. Okay. Let's

Chill out. Let's bring a town. Center. It's time to find our quiet place. It's time for three hours of absolutely nothing happening. Okay. The Verbo-Citris Bowl between Iowa and Kentucky. Nothing will happen. Nothing.

You know on CBS Sunday morning when they go, let's enjoy the sounds of nature. Here's from Grand Teton. There's a YouTube. the rockies like you enjoy the tv does these ads that are like yeah here's i really love those and i wish that was a channel yeah yeah i wish that youtube thing was a channel like the youtube blog like if i just put this on during the day and just like listen to stream water yeah there's also the um what is the show where like uh uh i think it's this Smithsonian tv or something like that it's just like drones flying around america yeah oh fly over fly over country or there's

that one that's a good name there's one that is there's one that is a shared obsession of both my mother and spencer's younger son yeah for some reason speaking of flyover country iowa's in this game it's a joke it's a joke i know i was i was not no no no i just i just i just know i'll call it kirk ferrance's last game i'll just say it's kirk ferrance's last wow wow what's it because it's going to be 3-0 and he's like it's perfect i'm done perfect Can never do better than that. And Caesar wept. Yep.

And also my son had sex and beat me up. So now I can hand the program off to him. Congratulations to... That wasn't the worst part of that last show. Yeah, no. Congratulations to Brian Ference. Having a wonderful time in Orlando. Having his Bocke moment.

Coming of age of Brian Ference. And shot his shot, so to speak. Beating up his dad. He's like, dad, I boned. Now this is my team. With a person. this time i both of these teams are just going to take turns being like you throw me the ball no you you throw me the ball there might be a lot of scoring now they didn't mention it yeah just

constant pick sixes and the football's appearing like possessions beginning on their five like all day long the the the great difference in this game is will levis because i could see a game where will levis runs a lot and doesn't make too many turnovers and is the difference for kentucky and I can see another game where he does that thing where he throws four picks to Iowa defenders who are doing nothing

but standing there. That is the Iowa defensive scheme is to stand there while everybody on the defensive line chases the quarterback and then maybe you get the ball. Maybe something good happens, you know?

The one thing you want, by the way, go look at quarterback ratings and Iowa wins. You want that below 100. You want the QBR to be well below 100 because the lower the QBR is for Iowa, the higher their win percentages.

Yeah. And I think what you're looking for is that perfect brand of Iowa football where interceptions keep happening. Like that's the weird thing about their games that it's not sustainable, but sometimes it is. That thing Iowa does where it's like, I know this is bullshit, but two out of three

games, they're really good at making bullshit real. one out of every three it's clear that bullshit isn't real but most of the time the bullshit they do works that's Iowa football versus Kentucky every game is bullshit

and it also usually works these days this year it's been wild because there have been games where they just decide that players have switched positions without changing the titles so there'll be a game where Will Levis has like 120 yards rushing

And they're like, yeah, he had 30 carries. He was our bell cow today. And then the next game, it's Will Levis through 30 times. It ran for five yards. Look, cows can go a lot of different directions. I like that Kentucky is the football program that is adopting positionless basketball, right? And that makes sense. Yeah.

They are. They're like, yeah, sorry, tonight you got to play center. I know you're five, too. It's just got to happen. Go dominate that paint, son. Got this. It'll be fun if you are of a, if your tastes are very singular.

I think this is definitely, otherwise just put it on. You can vibe out. Maybe put on a little Aaron Copeland behind it. Wild America. Iowa versus Kentucky. Which brings us to, the

PlayStation Festival? Sure. Notre Dame versus Oklahoma State. This one's had a lot of sponsors that really veer all over the place in terms of recognition.

But, okay, PlayStation. Notre Dame versus Oklahoma State. Okay. Notre Dame with A novelty, a coach that everyone seems to like.

Versus Mike Gundy. Versus Mike Gundy. We almost had Brian Kelly versus Mike Gundy. Oh, God. Now that there's at least one sympathetic character in this entire story. We have a game where I don't really know how Notre Dame plays going forward, but Oklahoma State, they're pretty fucking chaotic. So, Notre Dame is always kind of, like, good with, like, you know, air quotes around it. Oklahoma State is always kind of like, what the fuck are they doing?

What's happening, right? Like, you look at their results from the year, there's just barely a single one that makes sense. Barely beat Missouri State, right? Barely beat Tulsa. Barely beat Boise State. And not a particularly great Boise State. And yet, here they are in the Fiesta Bowl. Yeah, Spencer Sanders is.

is one of the most chaotic quarterbacks in college football. If you watch the way he plays, it is, man, it is something. Because he's another one of those guys where you go, hey, he threw for 344 yards in that game. Next game. He threw for 82. Sure. It's like he forgets how to pass week to week and then remembers and then forgets.

And then forgets. Is he a young quarterback? No, he's a junior. He's had plenty of experience at this point. This is for any more familiar with the Bo Knicks experience. This is what it is. This is what you will get. Does he run the ball?

Kind? Kind of? Sort of? Like, he's consistently okay at it. That may be the best way to describe him. Spencer Sanders. He runs pretty well. Let's give him that.

Pretty well. No, pretty well. Like, he's a 500-yard rusher. He's not an 800-yard rusher. It's not a thousand-yard rusher. He's definitely 500-yard rusher. I'm going with pretty well. Yeah, let's move along.

This game will be fine. Next up, we have the Rose Bowl game presented by Capital One Venture X. Ohio State. I've been waiting for this one. Ohio State bringing like 10,000 fans because they don't give a shit about the Rose Bowl. Against Utah.

Thrilled to be here. Everyone is very happy and excited for Utah, which has a chance to win the Rose Bowl, beating Ohio State, who doesn't give a shit about this kind of thing. Yeah, you know, Rose Bowl's just another game for us. It's just another game. Absolutely no reason for us to downplay this going into it.

Nope. Nothing. We're full strength. It's fine. We're good. Are they? They're definitely not. They've had many players decide to pursue their performance. professional interests rather than play in this game.

And that part's fine. I'm mainly just making fun of my fans for not really giving a shit about the Rose Bowl. But it's fine if you don't give a shit. I'm just allowed to make fun of Ohio State for the skull hammering they're about to take at the hands of our beloved Utes. Even whose ball carriers run like they're blocking. What are you doing on this point? Blocking. What are you?

The quarterback. Utah plays football like magnetic. football, right? Like the old board where you put your little man's up and you line them up and then you just brr and they just rumble wherever they're going to go and you have to like point at the one that has the ball. What would you do? You'd like you'd like put a little, a little thing in that guy's arm. That's the only distinction. But yeah, they're just going to slam into folks and one of them happens to have the ball. That's Utah football. Yeah. And if you watch, it is the most impressive, least impressive offense I've ever seen where you go, oh, none of this is pretty.

at whole but god damn it is flattening shit four or five yards at a time consistently if there's the entire goal of the offense is like six yards right like they say you draw

every play you draw up the the just imagine the line goes all the way to the end zone we're not going to draw it but the goal of every play is that Utah's like no the line goes six yards that's how many we want because then guess what we get to do we get to snap the ball again and we get to run into you again that's utah football

even their passing plays are run plays and i don't mean screens i mean for some reason they just end up looking like run plays like the receiver catches it three yards off and then he's like thank god back to being running back again time to block for myself i love the uh profile of their their passes in percentage of passes basically screens they're 114th in the country at throwing screens basically never do it in terms of throwing 20 yards down the field they're 112th they don't really do that either every single play they're throwing it about 10 yards because the goal on every play is 10 yards to get a first down and that is all this is your grandma takes out $20 every time she goes to public you know why I just need 20

Yeah, Utah is the most prepay for gasoline team in the country. Do you know how much is in that tank? Yep, yep, yep. Need $8 dollars. Eight dollars worth of gas. It's going to top me back up. Been doing this for years. It's like, wow, you must have a tiny gas tank.

Nope. It's just not full, so I'd rather it be full. You never know when you might have to drive 500 miles. I love this team so much. like ohio state might win by 30 and still have a horrible time that's the thing they might they might lose by 30 and the year and honestly the numbers could still look a lot the same right you're like Utah had 350 yards offense exactly they had 200 yards rushing and 150 yards passing turnovers and TDs who knows where that's going to land but you know what that number

if cam rising's playing it's going to be around there right perfect Utah quarterback he's going to throw for like around 2,000 yards when he runs you're going to go hey that's a tight end why did they put a tight end at quarterback fuck you that's why fuck you that's why

Cameron Rising running for of course seven yards to carry this year because that is the number of yards they would like you were joking it's around 6.46 listen to their yards per carry everyone who carries the ball 5.6 6.9 5.9 7.6

8.7, 7.4. They even build it. They even build in, you know, like a down for throwing an incompletion. Just to be tasteful. Just in case it happens. Yeah. I adore this team. I know.

I hope they beat Ohio State by 30 because the way they do it will be side splitting. I would take it. I know that they did this in order to go, like, not risk their ACLs and, you know, potential payouts of the NFL. But if you are an NFL prospect, and I've already made that decision. You're like, oh, who are we playing? They're like, Utah. And I'm like, no, that cornerback is going to be.

Yeah, no. What are they going to do? I'm going to have a fullback coming at me at wide receiver blocking on the edge. No. 11 fullbacks every play. I think here is my, I think here is how I evaluate opt-outs. I affirm and support all the Ohio State players who have chosen to not play this game for any fucking reason. However, I blame Ryan Day 100% if he loses

because you make the big money, you figure it out, right? Like if he loses, I think he should be fired, that's what I think. That goes for any coach who loses a bowl game. Just fire him, right? Let's do that. Allstate Sugar Bowl time. Ole Miss versus Baylor. That sounds normal.

Sounds really, really. It's always a bad thing when like Baylor is the steady consistent team. Yeah, if you watch this Baylor team, it really is like, this Baylor team feels very managed because they're not super spectacular at anything. It's just that, you know, they have definitely, they're definitely a fill out the paperwork team. You know, we won't make mistakes. We will turn in our forms on time. Everything will be clean.

You know, meanwhile, all this. the surprisingly tidy old miss team yeah yeah they're like non-caotic by old miss standards let's give them that yeah no I think that's completely fair

just to say a consistent productive responsible Matt Corral was 20 and 4 on TDs and interceptions he only have four picks if you ask me how many like Matt Crowell used to throw four picks in a game and a half right he threw just to wake himself up just to feel alive he'll just to feel

anything Matt Corral would do that this year he's wearing collared shirts he's going to the Bible study he's eating fiber look at that 20 and 4 a responsible citizen of the quarterbacking world is Matt Corral and if that's the dude that they've got going up against Baylor I like it sorry I don't think that's one of those like Well, you know, Dave Arander's complex defense is going to confuse him. It's a different dude. Yeah. We get one more outing from Ole Miss's defense,

and I think that's the source of excitement in this game. Really, really fucking bad run defense. Past defense, I think, better than most people assume. Their defense on the whole isn't bad. It's just they don't care to stop the run. And they're bad at it, I think, is how I would describe their situation. They are, if you look at them, by the way, teams that are not exceedingly similar.

Baylor is a defensive team, a defense-first team. But in terms of like the run game, pretty even. This might actually be a good football game. The more we look at this, I'm like, I'm pretty interested in the sugar bowl like what oh no I'm sincerely interested

in the sugar bowl like I guess it's been a long time since there's been a sugar bowl that it's like oh oh cool you know I'm trying to think of the last one I mean they can't

they can be uninteresting disasters that has happened in recent years just because of the fickle way these things have been lined up but like you can get you can get some super ugly ass games here right because you can get an ohio state clemson

that's fine you can get uh you know kind of Georgia Baylor Texas Georgia this is that by the way the hilarious Texas Georgia game where not only did bevo attack uh uh ga but where Sam if you remember uh we're back under yeah we're where Texas became back. Yeah, we're back! Coach got fired two years later. Next season. Texas was back.

Let's put it that way. They were, and then they weren't. Right. Last time oldness was in this game, by the way, was a 4820 win over Oklahoma State. So, look at a make it two in a row here, baby. And it is time for the final bowl game. I think this is the year where I don't know

if we can be too confident about that. Yeah, odds are good. It'll be the final ball game. One might move. One might spring up. So you're saying we saved the biggest for last, huh? We did. We saved the likeliest to be last for last.

Yeah. In the spot that traditionally, as much as anything can be traditionally when it concerns bowl season has gone to some weird-ass shit in Birmingham or whatever between some Mac team and Sunbelt team.

We have LSU and Kansas State in the Texas Bowl. It's the 37th Bowl sponsored by Tax Act, whatever that is. And yeah, this is the opener for the national title game. This is the one that

concludes bowl season at large sure why i don't i don't know this is also i think it's also the only uh make sure i have this right

yeah it's the only bowl after new year's day is this bullshit on a tuesday kansas state lsu the people the people have been hollering for it they've been thurston for kansas state lsu they're like who are two fans

We want to see together. You're like a bunch of farmers who worship Bill Snyder and guys who made millions selling aluminum siding versus the LSU Tigers fan base. Definitely going to have some stuff to talk about. Sure. This will be the first time they have played since Georgia's most recent national title.

LSU and K-State played in 1980. How'd that go? LSU 121-0 that year. Yeah, I was going to say, probably very poorly. This is pre-Pill-Snyder, Kansas State. That would just say good result for pre-Pill-Snyder K-State. Like, the game was completed. They attended.

Good. That's fine. They made it there with their shoes, I presume. Well. They weren't in negative points, a thing which might have happened for all I know. Yeah. And prehistoric Kansas State. Does any

Is LSU the most I don't care what they do in bowl season team And like in the entire slate Like no meaning can be derived from this at all right Like this is like all bowl games are kind of bullshit But like this is one where it's like LSU could win by 50 or lose by 50 And that teaches no one nothing

At all No Because you know Kansas State is going to say Well we're just you know continuing to build continuing you know this has nothing to do we got some our guys some playing time and this has nothing to do with the overall trajectory of our program and

if LSU does anything it has even less meaning than that right? What does that say about what does that say about our program? Could be good could be bad. This is an object lessons by the way. Everybody should be like LSU about bowl season

because there's you know like two or three games that actually matter and then everyone else buddy you are just you're just sidling up like paul chris to the roulette wheel just letting it slide my suggestion be like him get a 64 ounce jack and coat make sure you eat all four varieties chugging jack just show what get you a big gulp full of jack that's a good time just saddle up fucking time that's a tremendous what the las Vegas got all four kinds of hamburger that had there put my ball on the roulette wheel eating some

not my balls you know you can't do that I had the fucking garden hose of Jack and I was sipping from it

after playing in the yard you know if you said that if you're like if you're like you know the garden hose of Jack someone in the Wisconsin fan base

would be like no it's a good deal you should do that it's only $120 but they let you have a good way to do it you put the spray nozzle

on there and adjust it. Yeah. Hey, you know what? They ain't watching for shit. You can let anyone drink out of that thing. You know, you get two or three of your buddies. That holes a jack. The cows love it. I take, that's what I do. I take it out. Then you

get the, when you milk the cows, you get your jackback. I went to that, I went to, you know, the MGM Grand, they got a you know, it just took that over there at the lion exhibit. I got those fucking cats blasted off that thing. They loved it. fucking hammered so me and tony the tiger were hanging out in elpast me tell you magnetic that guy

he's up to his eyes in it