Shutdown Fullcast - 40 FOR 40: Scissor Me On The Lockheed Martin Mechanical Bull

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

It's the unavoidable return of 40 For 40, in which we preview each college football postseason game in as much detail as they each deserveSubjected to scrutiny today: the Sports, rate, 68 Ventures, Armed Forces, Birmingham, Liberty, Holiday, and Las Vegas BowlsIt's been a very Pitt year, for both Pitt and ToledoRate Bowl at Chase Field! Simple sentences for everybody!What is the maximum safe number of persons to load onto a mechanical bullA football game in Birmingham we actually want to watch, imagine thatWhy the lukewarm, plastic-covered couch embrace of the Liberty Bowl is a welcome sensation at this pointThe less said about the Holiday Bowl, the betterThanks as always to Wikipedia, powering the 40 for 40 for however long we've been doing thisFullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

Who? Welcome to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to our 40 for 40 previews of the college football bowl season. I'm Spencer Hall. That's Holly Anderson. That's Jason Kirk. That's Michael Server. He likes to chime in from time to time, especially when we talk about Clamson.

You said chime. That means we're on to the next bowl game. On to the next bowl game. The game above sports bowl. That's right. 2 p.m. the 26th in the D. Detroit, Michigan. We'll say nothing bad about Detroit, Michigan,

because as a bowl destination, everyone has a lot of fun in this bowl game. Anyone you've ever talked to who went there, absolutely loves it. Citation needed. Yeah, no, for real. For real. Like, all the, like, talk to players, talk to coaches.

They do a great job with this game. All right. I'm about to compliment this. bowl in several ways. I just want to, you know, make sure you got your feet set there. I'm ready. First of all, it's the sports bowl. That's what we're calling it. I will get to why. Thursday, December 26th, 2024, 2 p.m., ESPN, Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan, 7 and 5 Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh. That was Russian of me. Versus 7 and 5 Toledo. Pit is favored by 7. the over under in this game is 51 and a half right now,

which has to make Pat Narduzzi absolutely insane. On which end? Too high or too low? Really? I'm trying to figure would it make him insane because he wants that many or he doesn't want that many? Yeah, Pat Narduzzi wants to score a lot of points. This is a thing that we know about it. Sure, everybody knows about him, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that. Anyway, these two teams played three September games back in the aughts. Pitt took two out of three off Toledo. The full name, as you mentioned, Spencer, is the Game Above Sports Bowl. The actual sponsor is a little bit of an enigma, not a great one. Game Above Sports is a strategic investment company. It is not a knockoff Dave and Busters, like I thought.

All the more reason to call it the Sports Bowl. And the credentialing site still says Quicklane. so that's how you know this game by the way it's the one that used to be the quick lane bowl which was itself created as a replacement for the defunct little caesar's pizza bowl which was itself known for being tied to hungry howies via an exclusive stadium deal and then running out of pizza before half time but at one point i did not know this i learned this this year i don't think i don't think we've ever dropped this piece of lore before at one point this could have been even weirder um organizers were at one point exploring

the possibility of moving the Little Caesar's Bowl across the street. You know what's across the street? Camerica Park, home stadium of the Detroit Tigers as an outdoor bowl game in Detroit. In December. In December. Okay. Anyway, this is Pitt's second appearance in this game. They beat Eastern Michigan here in 2019.

I would like to introduce a new feature for this episode. I have combed through all the previous MVP's of this game and I'm just going to pull some Remember That guys out of them Like you don't care that like Which Bull game Kurt Warner was in Before his big NFL career

Like if I'm me I want to know that previous MVP's of this game include Daniel Jones Kenny Pickett And our own Diego Pavia Strong This also I will give the Sports Bowl

one compliment before we turn fully to the football. It has the handiest piece of bowl literature I have ever seen, which is available on the bowl website. There is a PDF. Again, this game is Thursday, December 26th, so the teams, their families, probably the fans, you're spending your holiday in Detroit. The game provides for visitors and fans

a PDF of restaurants, things to do around the state, stadium in that neighborhood and lists what is open on Christmas Day. That is thoughtful. And that's, I wanted to say, does this fall into your category of bowls that actually try? We're going to get to that. Yeah, we did a lot of grousing in previous episode about what happens to the ESPN owned games. And so I would like to focus a little bit in this episode on games that are doing it right. And by doing it right, I mean literally trying at all. You know, You're welcoming people into your community. You're giving some indication that you're not just creating a shitty TV product.

And here, this is just an example. It wasn't hard. It's this little thing they've put out that's going to make life a lot easier for a bunch of teammates' families who maybe didn't plan on spending their Christmas this far away from home. Let's talk football. So on the subject of football, on Came Above's website, they explain how to pronounce Game Above. It's presented as one word, as if. someone would think it's gammy abovi but no it's it's game above so that is weirdly thoughtful one

word that apparently this means at some point someone has says how do you say that how do you pronounce do you pronounce the words game and above when you put them together is that a tail gami above it's it got me above it um this is also if you go to the website they're like game above does many things and you're like oh brother that's never a good answer for if i'm dealing with the company, I want it to be like, what do you do? And they're like, we destroy chickens and turn them into slurry. I'm like, perfect. All these companies do too much shit. Every, like, half the bowl sponsors, it's like, we do military investment tech, cloud, info. Cyber. What am I? Do you want, do you want my money? What do you want, what do you give me for

my money? Just tell me that. You can't. Yes. You, we, you want us to keep electing the Congress people who keep rubber stamping our budgets and turning the other way when we blow up civilian weddings in another hemisphere. Do not Google Game Above Aleppo wedding. Do not. Game Above has collaborated with the Idaho Ballet. So there you go. That's something. Thank you. That's helpful in some way.

Collaborated at what? I could say. It doesn't go with that. Cybering. Hmm. To football. Pit. Boy, man. You want to know what a pit year was? This is a pit year. How did Pitt start? 7-0. The world is your oyster.

Then Eli Holstein got injured. and then the world turned into a bad oyster and you started pooping all over the place. That's right. Eli Holstein, their starting quarterback, may or may not be available by game time. When asked this week about availability, Pat Narduzi said the following.

This is probably the most banged up football team I've been around in my career for anybody who has followed Narduzzi and Pat and Pitt football. That's a lot. His whole entire model of football is getting banged up and this is the most banged up football team he's ever been around in addition to that when asked about holstein's availability and his participation said we're hoping i'm praying every morning when i drive when i'm driving into work coach you got to open your

eyes to drive um not if you're in the little apple car right if you're in the little apple car show your work. Yeah. And that's right. You're the dues. You're driving into work. And you're thinking about life and Eli Holstein. And you're like, oh dear God. Grant me two things. One, a pristine copy of for the love of God by Steve By. The whole video, I need it re-uploaded to YouTube and HD where he's on Mount Shasta. It looks like he's communing with God or Shiva or whatever deity he's worshipping. And the second thing is, I need a healthy

Eli Holstein so that when I drive my little apple car into work down the hills of Pittsburgh and I come in looking like the coolest dude I have a functioning quarterback for the love of God give me Eli Holstein please that's all thanks coach yeah so that's Pitt that's Pitt hey do you want to watch the seventh ranked team in the Mac play football watch this bowl game because Toledo's there. Toledo, boy, I really looked for a long time for something that Toledo was exceptional at. And let me tell you what,

they're pretty much the seventh best team in the Mac and everything. That's it. Like, I usually can't say this about Toledo football. This is a mid-ass Toledo Rockets football team. Very sorry about it. But I have no regrets in this estimate. Pit pitch should win

because I'm pretty sure they're better than the seventh best team in the Mac. I feel like for a while now. It's sort of just been like a soon, that Toledo is probably really good, right? And, I mean, like, the last time that, I mean, you know, last year they had a lot of wins, but they were still. They're the Bama of the Mac. They get the shine. Yeah. Like, I think this is the year where you go, you're mid. You're mid. Like, literally mid.

Like, you are right there in the middle of the middest geographic conference. Congratulations on being the most central football team of all football teams. Oh, it's rate bowl time. Rate bowl. What do you mean? Rate bowl? Just listed on the ESPN website is rate bowl. Don't mind if we do. Thursday, December 26, 5.30 p.m. ESPN.

Chase Field, Phoenix, Arizona. 7 and 5 Rutgers and 8 and 4K state. These teams have played once before in the 2006 Texas Bowl, which was a 37-2-10 Rutgers route, the splash page on this website, which is a little drive-through window on the Fiesta Bowl website, makes a bold claim. College football's only Big Ten versus Big 12 matchup.

This does not seem like it's possible, so I asked the chat bot on the website, is this really the only Big Ten versus Big 12 matchup? And the answer it gave me was the Rate Bowl will feature a matchup between the Big Ten Conference Qualified, and the Big 12 conference qualifier and then gave me a seat geek ad. The chatbot is not helpful.

Why do you know this bowl game? Oh, Lord, where to begin? This has been variously throughout the years. The Copper Bowl, the Domino's Pizza Copper Bowl, the Wiser Lock Copper Bowl, the Copper Bowl again, the Insight.com Bowl, then just the Insight Bowl, after dot-com bowls fell out of fashion. then the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl for two seasons,

not the Buffalo Wild Wing Citrus Bowl, that's different, then the Ticket City Cactus Bowl, then the Motel 6 Cactus Bowl, then just the Cactus Bowl, not to be confused with the Division 2 All-Star Game, played from 2001 through 2011, that was also called the Cactus Bowl,

then the Cheez-It Bowl, not the Cheese-It Citrus Bowl, and then the guaranteed rate bowl from 2020 through 2023, why they just decided to call it the Rate Bowl, which makes it sound like a simple sentence. I do not understand. Okay, so half the stuff here, when you just try exploring for information about the Rape Bowl, you end up on Fiesta Bowl pages,

which lends it, I guess, a little bit of an air of mystery. Like so many of us, the Rape Bowl just longs to slink into the desert and lose their identity. Maybe because it started at U of A and has also been played at Arizona State, it flies under the radar that this game has been played at the Diamondback Stadium since 2016. Jason knew this immediately.

I swear I've watched this game every year and never picked up on this. With this appearance, K-State will break a tie with Minnesota for most appearances in this game at five. Rutgers played here once before in 2005. Previous MVP's guys to be remembered include Rudy Carpenter, Graham Harrell, Blake Bell. And the year Mark Bolter won the MVP in 1998, the defensive MVP was a Missouri defensive tackle with the most Witsack name I have ever heard, Jeff Marriott.

That is some sports writers signing into a hotel name and trying to scam a few extra points. There is a seating section in the stadium that just says cold beers and cheeseburgers tables. And I went to look to see what this was entail. And that's when I found out cold beers and cheeseburgers is a sports bar. That's what it's called. That's why I'm going to start my competitor, colder beers and bigger cheeseburgers.

Speaking of bigger cheeseburgers, let's read from the stadium rules. Food is permitted as long as it's in a clear plastic bag. So start challenging that. Can I just pour a big thing like gumbo? like in a clear plastic bag. This is my spaghetti baseball couple. I got my chili IV right here, officer. My specimen bag of chowder.

I'm so glad you guys mentioned medical attention because here's something else that's weird in these stadium rules. And I read them all because they're a little unusual. Anyone expecting urgent phone calls, i.e. emergency, should leave their name and seat location at one of the guest relations centers

located across from sections 128 or 322. I don't know if I'm I'm ever expecting an emergency phone call, but it goes on. Please note that public address or video board paging will not be permitted. So if you're going to this game and you have a wife who's about to go into a labor or an aging parent, tough shit. This is also the only stadium I've seen so far that explicitly prohibits skateboards or shoes with wheels or fishing nets from being brought in. Oh, fuck off. Now, here is something actually cool.

I'm going to drop this link in the chat. you can on the Fiesta Bowl website scroll all the way back to the beginning of the Rape Bowl and look at game programs from every year the 1991 is absolutely incredible can you guys take a look at that real quick and then I'll describe it for the reader oh wow

this is this is a tasteful like leathery Olin Mills style backdrop with the trophy in the middle. And the trophy for the game that year was a plaque surrounded by little brass cactuses with a giant golden football atop of it and a smaller plaque on the front that just reads in sparkling letters, Domino's Pizza. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've given you, we've given you an award for your recognition and your achievements in Domino's Pizza.

Yeah. Last thing, please keep in mind that while Chase Field has a roof, it does not have heat. Here's a weather warning. The sun is expected to set at approximately 5 p.m. mountain standard time on game day. You can be experiencing a beautiful 66 degree day on your way to the stadium. Temperatures could drop as low as 40 degrees before the game reaches halftime and reentry is not allowed. So layers, layers, even if you're inside. Layer up.

This is the bowl game put on by your cheap friend. Too much. Dude, don't drive their heating bills sky high. We have as a preview on the rate ball, which again, this is a 5.30 p.m. game, so wear your layers. Rutgers, like, both of these teams are 7 and 5, and 8 and 4 in that range. And one of them is real happy to be 7 and 5

because that's the first time they've been, they've won seven games in 10 years. It's not Kansas State. it's Rutgers baby Rutgers Rutgers is thrilled to be here did they manage to lose to a bad UCLA team yeah they did

they did that okay did they lose four in a row at one point you know yeah that also happened to Rutgers are they is it still ball up top for Rutgers and the Scarlet Knights yeah because they

they have they may not have Kyle Menangai who was the anchor of their 2,000 yard rushing attack, but it won't look much different because that's what they do. We're here to minimize possessions punt and let our defense win this game because it's Shiano ball baby. We're going to keep chopping. On the other side, you got Kansas State. Kansas State was looking real good about two-thirds the way through the season. Then they lost three of their last four. Why? Because they kept turning the damn ball over. Seven turnovers and their last

three losses. If they could hold on to the ball, they'd be a pretty good football team. As it stands now, they're just kind of good. They were one of the conference favorites, and they ended up finishing eighth in the league. There are 32 teams in the Big 12, though, so really not that bad when you think about it. Also, they had over 200 yards, five times in their first six games in terms of rushing, and then just twice in their last six, and then they're running back, DJ Giddens, who was kind of the anchor of that whole thing, He declared for the draft, so he won't be there. Yeah, if you want to know who's hyped to be here, it's the dudes from Jersey.

Dudes from Jersey just this pumping, just sitting there being like, yeah, we're drones. We're drones. That's the Jersey guys. And the Kansas State people, they're probably, it's probably a little bit of a bittersweet bowl trip for them if they take it. and a little something to live up to because one other thing this website does that I've never seen any other bowl website do is you can sort every coach

who's ever coached in this game just by how many times he's won this game and this game alone. You know who the all-time winningest coach of this bowl is? Hmm. Bill Snyder. Ooh.

So apparently guaranteed rate the company changed its name to rate for reasons that include the CEO or whatever said people have a really hard time spelling guaranteed so I mean I could say it it's a it's a word with it's got some letters in it that really don't need to be there I was thinking they just didn't feel like guaranteeing shit anymore I'm guessing that's part of it because they're also bringing up AI but like even with misspellings You had better SEO with the guaranteed in there.

Just rate? If you Google rate, you're not going to be anywhere. There's rate my professors, definitions of rate, news stories about, you're way down there. The best result for the company still has the word guaranteed in it. You still have it in your websites. Yeah. So, like, I'm not buying it, man. I think it is just the, they don't want to be accused of having guaranteed anything to anyone ever.

I was going to say. This is a real nadir of bowl games in our society. names remember this used to be the copper bowl so this was again

an export a fine thing our society's movement from a commodity based actual value to

yeah to rate bowl what can you get at the rate bowl could it be a guarantee rate nope we'll give you

a rate no more naming games after concepts it has to be like a hog future commodities

only the frozen concentrated orange juice bowl. See? Are we making a napalm? Yeah, that'd be fine. Next game.

Well, if you were hoping we would get any clearer or less dumb with our names, we are here to disappoint you with the 68 Ventures Bowl. Continuing on, Thursday, December 26th, 9 p.m., ESPM at Hancock Whitney State. home of South Alabama and the Senior Bowl. This is the successor to the also Georgia quarterbackly named Ladd Peebles Stadium. This is the one in Mobile, previously played as the Mobile Alabama Bowl, the G-Mac Bowl, the GoDaddy.com Bowl,

then the GoDaddy Bowl, went again.com Bowl games fell out of fashion. Then as our society further crumbled, became the Dollar General Bowl, and finally the Lending Tree Bowl. This is 7 and 5 Arkansas State versus 7 and 5 Bowling Green, Scott Leffler versus Butch Jones. God in heaven. History.

Here's a little bit of really mean history. The 2001 game between Marshall and East Carolina was at the time the highest scoring bowl game of all time and contained what was then the greatest scoring comeback in bowl history. This is the one where Marshall was down 30. and ended up winning 64, 61 in double overtime. Byron left Rich through for close to 600 yards, I want to say. The 2008 game had the largest margin of victory in bowl history, defeated that, or beat that record, with Tulsa defeating Bowling Green 63 to 7.

That record was tied a decade later, as you both may recall, because we were all covering bowls by that point, when Army defeated Houston 7014 in the Armed Forces Bowl. That particular record, the margin of victory in bowl record, was tied again in 2023, as you might guess, when LSU and Purdue played in the Citrus Bowl in LSU 163 to 7. I was scribbling up this lore, and then I saw, wait, that record was technically in a bowl game broken again

later in the postseason. later in the 2022-2020-23 postseason in the national championship game what happened there and of course we all remember following the 2023 game a 59 to 10 win by South Alabama over eastern Michigan this game just lends itself to ass

whippings this is also a game where during the trophy presentation while the South Alabama marching band and team were singing the school's alma mater and eastern Michigan player hauled off and punched to South Alabama player.

Anyway, Archie State and Bowling Green will take the top two spots in appearances in this game with five and four appearances respectively after this contest. Guys to be remembered in this game include just a cradle parade

of Matt quarterbacks. You got your Dan Lafeevers, your Chandler Harnished, 68 Ventures is doing a really hard work on their website not to sound like an evil empire they are failing but they are trying

transforming a region 68 Ventures is a change agent for growth along the North Gulf Coast and adjacent markets as one of the largest developers and that's where I shut my laptop in disgust. But further down, their website reads like fresh off a breakup tumbler. We are visionaries, risk takers, and creators, fearless in the pursuit of what sets our souls on fire.

Our souls. And we have successfully started, acquired, or exited over 20 operating companies. More of a comment than a question? Uh-huh. 68 ventures is too many ventures That is too many ventures you're right The game however however I will say this

The game itself is trying It is trying to act as though it is Some place There is a novelties Category in the Bull Shop There's a community art contest That takes place around this For students in 6th through 12th grade

They throw an early Mardi Gaw parade The Skies of Downtown Mobile Will be filled with beads, moon pies, and more Oh boy, here come the drones again floats from 20 mystic societies are going to participate in the bowl games Mardi Gras parade there's a brand new top golf team challenge this will be video gold if you do it right look at the Texas Bowl so yeah I'm I'm this is what I would like to visit at least if not necessarily watch on television Jason I have a question

did you watch any Arkansas State football this show no no no Why would I do that? I was about to ask you, why didn't you? You're like, why would I? Did you? You pre. No, I didn't watch any. So I had to go back and do a bit of a season review.

And let me tell you, do you like a team that keeps it close? The answer is, no one likes a team that keeps it close. Arkansas State would be your team if you were this person. Because only one of their wins. came by more than a TD. Every other one of the was a single score. They are the ultimate

March and Ball team. There's two theories on this. One, that Butch Jones is acting as a governor on their greatness, keeping them just ahead of most of their competition for the lowest possible positive output

on Arkansas State football. Or Butch Jones is the greatest coach of our time, and he has taken this Arkansas State team to a height really only possible with the most min-maxed possible alignment of talent in Jonesboro, Arkansas. But that's what you need to know.

Who is the most seven and five team available? Friends, it's Arkansas State. Could it be the case that they have sort of a Mario Kart rubber banding going on where whoever's in first place that the team in last place and since there's only two teams on the field, those teams will just naturally be like if Arkansas State is

beating you you will get a blue shell for instance that is 100% what I think the case is here the game was a little broken in the Southern Miss game because that was 4428 otherwise we're going to keep everybody on the podium everybody's going to see Lakitu once okay

because you're going off the track that's happening additionally on the other side Bowling Green 7 and 5 this is if If Arkansas State is the most 7 and 5 team available,

this is our nation's best almost scary team. Almost. Remember, this team, this team did put a good, decent scare into both Penn State and Texas A&M this year.

Then they decided not to do that because they're polite. But they did scare them a little bit. There's something to watch. Like, oh my God, there is something to watch because he's actually going to play. Tight end, Harold,

Fanon, all right if you know nick nash at san jose state that is our nation's leading receiver by yardage number two is a tight end who plays in the mac harold fanon junior 1,342 yards all this man does is hoover up the ball if i told you that he just kind of looked like a kindly bear out there with like a kindly bear with honey all over his hands just sticking it up and and catching the ball that's what he does he's not super flashy all that dude does is just absorb ball like that's all he does just absorb ball run downfield he's really cool to watch if you get a chance so uh we might poo pooh some of the smaller bowls we might say that 68 is too many ventures but one they try to be their own ball

and their own their own bowl and their own place and two you can watch a talented circus bear play tight end I forget whether last year we talked about why they're called 68 ventures. I don't remember doing this, but I don't think so. The number comes from follow me here. The year 1968 in which Yarramir Yager

Sr. died in prison during the Prague Spring. Yep, that's why this Alabama whatever company is named 68 Ventures. Hey, whatever sets souls on fire. It's what sets our soul on fire. Excuse me, whatever sets our souls on fire.

Oh, boy. Here we go. Say it for this one. At least it puts it right up front. The Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl. What's it about? Troops. What's it support?

military charities. Why does the richest country in the world need military charities? Don't worry about it. Why does Lockheed Martin feel like they need to support military charities? Ah, you can draw those lines. Friday, December 27th, noon, ESPN, TCU's home stadium in Fort Worth, Texas. It is, man, think about everything that you saw in the Army-Navy game, which we're recording three days after.

think about everything you saw Navy unload in the Army Navy game being brought to bear against a six and six Oklahoma team I might watch this one it's worth a it's worth a peak Navy has played Oklahoma once in 1965 and won 10 nothing in Norman this is another ESPN owned game with the most darkly insane trophy that isn't actually a Lord of the Rings replica Palantier

I'm quoting on the website. This is included because, again, this is what they think you'll like about it. Included within the DNA of our trophy are decommissioned pieces of Lockheed Martin aircraft, spacecraft, and weapons that are field tested and battle ready like the armed forces that inspired it. How do I know this game? Yeah, how do you know this game? It used to be the Fort Worth Bowl, and then it was the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl. It's pretty much always kind of been this way. Remember that guy, MVP's edition?

You have your Kevin Cobb. We got a Keenan Reynolds, and we got a Rashad Penny back there. You can usually get something unique in the run-up. For the past 20-plus years, Lockheed has hosted the Fan Fest. And it's exactly what you think a Lockheed Martin Fan Fest would be like. They show military hardware. There's all kinds of flyovers before the team that you can pretty much always, unless it's weather

forbidding. You can pretty much count on some pretty spectacular skydiving entrances. On the fan fest this year, there is a photograph of what looks like something I've never seen before. It's a mechanical bull

surrounded by tumbling mats in a little carnival-type booth. There are four grown adults riding the same mechanical bull at the same time, one behind another. Can you share this picture in the chat? I need to see it. How big a bowl?

How big a bull are we talking? It looks like, that's the thing. It looks like a normal, it looks like a normal sized mechanical bull. It's just absolutely crammed with grown adults. Are they facing each other or are they in a row or? Hang on, hang on. It is, they are one behind the other.

Let me see if I can get a link to the photo. photo so like it's one prom pose all the way all the way across they are not they are not doing the the hand clutch uh-huh hands in the air for this yeah i love the idea of being with your bros and being like yeah man we got to face each other on the mega bowl here we go let's see if i can get dick to dick yeah bro scissor me on the bull yeah Jesus okay here's the here's the image address can you guys see that what is happening here the armed forces bowl this looks so unsafe wow also that guy's second from the front woke up rough this is four grown jm u fans writing what appears to be a single mechanical bull we we saw you from across the armed forces ball i saw you from across the bull

anyway this seems dangerous if you told me by the way if you went hey listen there's a gigantic mechanical bull bigger than any other and it's called the mega bull it'd be like fort worth fort worth ding ding ding ding ding ding ring it in that's where it is yeah uh anyway let's let's talk about the only slightly man do you think you have a better or worse chance of sustaining a life altering head injury playing football against navy in this game or riding this mechanical bull with three strangers uh i'm not making any tackles against Navy I've seen because they're just going to break my knees on the second play so yeah this bull way more dangerous do you want to talk about the football I would love to talk about the

football speaking of battle ready not Oklahoma that's right that's six and six Oklahoma how was your first year in the SEC it was ass pure ass 94th in the nation in scoring a team impotent and incapable of moving the ball against anybody except the Alabama Crimson Tide who they beat handily. What's that got to do with this ball game? Nothing, I just like bringing it up. That's all.

Jackson Arnold was a quarterback in that game. He's not even with the team anymore. He's in the transfer portal. Lost to us in this reality and on his way to his next dimension. Back to Michael Hawkins, Jr. That'll fix everything, just like firing their offensive coordinator

fixed everything. thing. They lost five in their last seven. It's not a good football team. Probably lucky to be in a bowl game. It's a better record than they've had with offensive coordinators. Mm-hmm. They're not good. They're bad. Be better. Oklahoma.

Navy. Hey, man. They're nine and three. They did get off to a hot start, but it doesn't matter because they beat Army. Their whole season's a success because they beat Army. They could have been one on 11. If that one was beating Army, that's really all they'd give a shit about. fortunately for them they were better than that but man they could really make up that gap between them in oklahoma strictly based on oklahoma being such ass on offense also a nice little balance to all of the crazy shit that brett venables likes to do on defense would be

how about you defend the full back dive yes but what if i have this crazy mixed patterned coverage and then I bring a zone pressure defend the dive how much you take this fullback dive straight in the face 42 times in a game how about that Oklahoma is favored

by eight and a half I'm kind of intrigued by that but then again Navy also lost to rice so yeah yeah you lost the food don't ever lose the food yeah like Navy's good but you know still

I think a lot it comes down to uh how much is oklahoma really want to be here the answer should be not much and that's fine that's fair it's okay yeah that's fine is this where we give the is this where we give our year our annual license to you can phone this one in boys business is okay fuck it man every bowl should be ripe with business decisions who gives a shit none of it matters i don't care you like you unless you play for the blue collar old school um we love our alma model program That is Colorado where we just do it, we just do it the right. They really do it the right way there at Colorado.

Dion, he's got those kids, he's got, he's got them, he's got them thinking the right stuff. Unless you play for a real hard ass like Dion, who gives a shit? Business decision bold decided. Gaveled, go Navy, anchors away, boys, to the bars. The Birmingham Bowl. Finally, a chance to see some quality football in Birmingham, Alabama, this season. Friday, December 27th, 2024, 3.30 p.m. ESPN. Listen, I'm going to get through this real quick, and then I just want to get out of the way and talk about football, all right?

It's the Birmingham Bowl. It's Georgia Tech and Vanderbilt. We love both these teams for almost the same amount of reasons. How do you know this bowl? this is the Papa John's dot com bowl begat the BBVA compass bowl I didn't

I forgot that for one year this was the Jared Birmingham bowl like the mall jewelry then something called Ticket Smarter Birmingham Bowl than the 76 Birmingham bowl and this year I think it's just the regular ass Birmingham Bowl

it's not at Legion anymore which removes something of the air of danger from it it has a really quality list of hey remember that guys and it's among its alumni can i interest you in a mike teal fellas oh uh perhaps a jordan matthews or a beau wallace quentin flowers twice clayton tune that's clayton tune's music wow um here is something else that i did not know despite both these schools being founding members of the SEC this is pretty much guaranteed to be the oldest rivalry renewing itself in a bowl game because these two

schools met for the first time in 1892. They have only played four times this century. They tied, the attack has won all of those. They tied 10-10 in 1965. The last time Vandy won outright was 1941. In the late 60s, they discontinued a rivalry trophy that they used to have for this game that began in 1924 called the gold cowbell so named because it's a golden cowbell in 2016 this some they found the trophy again at a school and brought it back for the 2016 game but they haven't played since so i've asked georgia tech if they're bringing the golden cowbell to this game i have not heard back yet um in 2000 the last note i have about the rivalry of this game is a the 2003 game where tech beat vandy in overtime

leading to the grimmest sentence I have ever seen in a game recap, pair of sentences. Georgia Tech beat Vanderbilt in overtime. Jay Cutler led Vanderbilt in rushing. Soinx. Damn. Anyway, I kind of just want to get out of the way fast and let the ball talk take over here, so let's go. Yeah, you know what you're going to be watching? You're going to be watching the grittiest combination.

of quarterbacks and all of gritdom. Is this, Spencer, is there any other game where we have, and I know quarterbacks duels are a fallacy, don't at me, but do we have any other game in which we have two BVP finalists going head-to-head-ish? No, I don't think. Do we even have another matchup that features a BVP finalist on either side? We would have coming up next, but we're not going to, we'll get there.

Yeah, we'll get there in a second. We'll get there. We'll get there in a second. Okay. But this is by far, I think, the most BVP spirited. For those not quite in the note, Bradley Van Pelt,

aka the most college football player of all time, in my opinion. Reigning Bradley Van Pelt Award winner on one sideline, Diego Pavia. That's right. Playing a challenger for this,

Georgia Tech's quarterback, Hainesking. Yes, the people's quarterback, Diego Pavia himself. Did he run out of gas at the end of the season? Maybe, but that's what happened.

can't pass to himself and he can't block for himself and he did pass to himself once he did shit you're right um he did pass to himself once but he can't do it twice and that's the problem but hey we got vanderbilt to six and six y'all and we did we did that congratulations us okay with our happy thoughts i mean all of us all of you listening here we tinkerbelled this shit we did we pushed vanderbilt to six and six greatness and to and if I may say so among the three of us we generate I think we generated a lot

of Atlanta powered moxie to propel our beloved bees Spencer's alma mater that's right to their own postseason glory did I attend a football game while I was there not one not one but

probably no one else did either Spencer who was a quarterback when you were there that would be Reggie Ball yeah so there were times when very few people attended yeah Reggie Ball barely attended I wouldn't watch in that shit yeah I have as many wins against Georgia as he does so yeah

the leading receiver Eric Singleton will not be there for Georgia Tech that's okay Hanks King's going to get it done no matter what by the way who had more yardage Who had more yardage? Was it Diego Papua or Haynes King? Yardage through the air or on the ground or combined.

Total offense. I should clarify, total yardage on ground and by air. If we're including scrambling, I would say King. I'm going to go Haynes King because every snap, he's the only one who touches the ball. They do not ever do anything other than run him straight forward. It really says something about the ACC that no one ever thought to stop him this entire season. No one did. but no one did but again he's got a shirt with his name on it and everything he's the reigning king for a reason

pavia had 2,849 yards haines king had 2,4808 but all of all of each of those yardage for both quarterbacks yeah probably done with three people on their backs so translated for somebody who actually had people blocking consistently for them it's like 5,000 yards apiece congratulations gentlemen you are the grittiest quarterback. This is one of those bowl games where I really think both teams actually want to be there and do this shit and go bowling because going

bowling is an important part of the Birmingham bowl experience. You go out to Vistavia Lane's. Get you a lane. Get you some funny shoes. Maybe get stuck in an urn. Yeah, get stuck in an earn. Follow the Birmingham tradition of going to a party and getting stuck in an urn and then be like,

get me out of here! That guy should be the grand marshal of this game. You should. Just wheel them out in a little urn, like on a parade float. Yeah. Ballard designs can sponsor it. Listen, y'all, this is free money. I'm just giving you free money.

All we do is hand on ideas. But yeah, Birmingham Bowl. It's good shit. There we go. Official opinion. Expert opinion. It's good shit. By the way, this episode is sponsored by the best place to get real money sports action.

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Hi, boys, let's play a little more or less. Mm-hmm. In an idea that's just occurring to me right now, I'm going to give you a game that we have previewed today or are about to preview, and you are going to tell me whether it costs more or less

to get into that game with a ticket than it does to park your vehicle at that game. All right. Okay. Understand the rules. Serber, I'm going to let you go first. The Sports Bowl, Detroit, Michigan. Okay.

Pittsburgh versus Toledo. It's the day after Christmas, it's 2 p.m. You are trying to park at Ford Field, and you have a ticket to the game in your hand or on your mobile device. Are you about to pay more or less to park than you did to get to get? get into the game. Am I allowed to ask the group about the location of Ford Field within the city of Detroit? Or no?

Is that frowned upon? You can ask, but we don't know. Okay. No one knows? It's pretty central. It's pretty central. So it's not one of those ones where it's like out in some suburb? No.

Okay. I'm going to say it's more to park than it is to attend the game. Server, you can currently buy a ticket. Again, this is nine days before the game. You can buy a ticket for the game above sports bowl for as low as $11. Parking in all Ford Field controlled lots is $30. That is more, in my opinion. More.

More. Jason, let's give you one. The 68 Ventures Bowl. which we just finished discussing, I believe, in this timeline, is in Mobile, Alabama. It is also the day after Christmas, but it is 9 p.m. Are you going to pay more or less to get into the game than you are to park at the game?

So having been in this downtown this year, having walked past this very, I believe it's usually for, baseball softball and having in fact visited the sacred site on the river of the the river brawl from a couple years ago I know this area very well having communed with the very same chair that was used as an implement in that that occasion and drawing on that knowledge I am going to say that I don't remember parking I do not remember seeing a whole lot that was very expensive. Then again, I do not see any way that getting into this game would be very expensive. Correct. You see the puzzle. So I am going to say that it would cost

more to park. You are correct, but it is closer than it is in Detroit. Tickets to the 68 Ventures Bowl are going for as low as $11 right now a week and change out. And parking at the 68 Ventures Bowl begins at a reasonable $20. I thought, that's the whole time I was thinking of Montgomery. We're in Mobile, aren't we? Oh, yeah. So everything I said, place it into Montgomery and know that I drew from the knowledge of Montgomery and it applied in Mobile.

I don't know anything about this stadium. There we go. This is still just advertising for the game, by the way, because I'm like, $32. What a fucking deal. Spencer, let's keep it in Alabama and throw it to you one more round for the Birmingham Bowl. Okay. Birmingham Bowl,

Friday, December 27th. It is 3.30 is mid-afternoon in Birmingham. And you've got two pretty high profile teams coming into play, but it's mid-afternoon in Birmingham. Where are you going to park? How much are you going to pay?

More or less than you will to get into the game. I'm going to boldly suggest that the ticket costs more than parking. Spencer, you are correct for the first time since we started playing this game about 10 minutes ago. We have a ticket that's going for more than parking. Something else in favor of the Birmingham Bowl.

Parking anywhere on the campus of this, in the vicinity of this stadium is $20 per space. Tickets are currently going for or starting at $47, hot ticket for the protective. Stadium, Birmingham Bowl. Thanks for playing more or less, sponsored by Prize Picks. Oh, fellas, reject modernity, embrace tradition. That's right. It's Liberty Bowl time. Friday, December 27th, Prime Time, 7 p.m., ESPN. Maybe the biggest collection of Sovereign citizens will see in one place until our live show. It is 8 and 4 Texas Tech versus 6 and 6 Arkansas. At Simmons Bank Liberty Stadium in Memphis, Tennessee for the Auto Zone Liberty Bowl.

Nice things about the Liberty Bowl. I subscribe to the Liberty Bowl newsletter year round because it looks as though it has been stuck up on the bulletin board at the tire shop. But somehow it is in your email. This tone is affectionate and should be read as such. This game has always been the Liberty Bowl, but why? Because it used to be in Philadelphia. It was the only cold weather bowl game of its time. And as we've explained in previous years,

a group of Atlantic City businessmen, always a great start to a sentence, convinced the founder of the game to move his game from Philly to Atlantic City's Convention Hall in 1964, and they guaranteed him $25,000 to do this. This would be the first major bowl game played indoors. AstroTurf was in the process of being invented and was not available for the game. So they put a four-inch thick grass surface with two inches of burlap underneath it as padding on top of concrete in the convention hall.

To keep the grass growing, they installed artificial lights that they kept on 24 hours a day at a cost of about $16,000, and that was in 1964. for the end zones were only eight yards long rather than 10 yards and in the very next year after that the founder of this game very wisely said okay to hell with that and he moved the game to Memphis where this is I think this is the only time this has happened this stadium used to be Memphis Memorial Stadium it was renamed after the game itself it was renamed Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium in December 1975 at least it's outdoors and it's not in like the convention center it's not in like it's it's not being held alongside like a pageant in a hotel ballroom yeah it's not being played on a soggy diaper of burlap that's sitting underneath like like a hundred pallets of new jersey turf yeah that's bizarre in MVP's this is a cradle of coaches MVP edition because

because previous MVP for the Liberty Bowl include Jeff Brom, these are players for mine, Jeff Brom in his playing days, Jim Donnan in his playing days, and Dave Ragon, who some of you may have heard of. Also, one more note, I love this. In 1959, Penn State Center, Jay Huffman was named MVP, which might be the only time I've ever seen that happen, the center named the MVP of a bowl game.

We love that. What on earth. Arkansas will be appearing here for the seventh, time that is the most by a couple of games more than any other team because it's a fairly quick trip for them. Texas Tech has been here once before, and you might not believe it looking at Arkansas right now, but the last time Arkansas was here, everybody set offensive records in this game, if you can believe it, in 2022. The most points scored by one team in Liberty Bowl history was 55 by Arkansas versus Kansas in 22. The most points scored by the

losing team in Liberty Oil history was the 53 points scored by Kansas. in that game. The Liberty Bowl does support St. Jude and org we love dearly. They have the President's Gala at the Peabody, so you get to watch the Ducks March. The pregame party is sponsored by Pepsi, but it also comes with All You Can Eat Barbecue

and an open bar. There's a parade on Beale Street, and at Saturday, at 2 p.m., there's a rodeo, like honest to God, professional rodeo at the Agra Center. They also are one of the very few vanishingly few games that have merch options besides shitty shirts.

They have a patch and a souvenir football. Are those images available on the Liberty Bowl website? They are not. But you can get them. Also, the flyer for this game, like the splash announcement they made, was, are you guys familiar with the Texas Tech mascot? Not the one that rides,

not the Red Raider that rides around on the horse, but like the plush mascot? If you guys just want to go to Liberty Bowl.org, go, I'll drop this in the chat, and just scroll down to the photo that says, give them liberty, and it's got Texas Tech's plush, Red Raider, and the running Arkansas hog. And it kind of looks like a, you know, free our imprisoned allies, but it's these two terrifying plushies. Oh. I don't think getting these guys, liberty is a great idea.

They need less liberty. Yeah. I need both of these mascots on home arrest immediately. for safety sake anyway let's talk ball absolutely

if you want a volatile bowl game I can't promise you it'll be a good game but I can promise you that something will explode because these are two teams

that are very good at stopping themselves and also going and then stopping themselves Arkansas they're at a 9 under on turnover margin on the year

if this were golf that'd be good it's football that's bad because quarterback Taylin Green. Talented. Exciting.

Sometimes likes to give the ball to other people. His teammates? Yeah, sometimes. Eight fumbles through nine picks. That's how you get a team

that is negative nine and turnover marching, but it's seventh in the nation in first downs. Arkansas, they're going places. What kind of places? All over the place, man. All over the place.

I have here in my notes, the following words, in all caps. Hogg go boom. Then hog go boom. Yeah, he gave him liberty. That's what happened. That's right. It's, it's, uh, you're very much released on your own recognizance all the time, Arkansas offense.

On your own rehognizance. God damn. I'm sorry. Uh, Texas Tech, eight and four, but they're the same, same fucking team. This is the same team, because they're fifth and total first downs. Uh, and then, uh, should we be poo-pooing an eight and four, an eight-win Texas Tech team? Absolutely not, because I'm kind of surprised that they're here, but also not, because They got a lot of assets and a lot of interesting stuff.

For instance, they have quarterback Baron Morton. And why is he interesting? It's his nickname Vaughn? Better. It means, I looked at what it means. It means the bearish one from the Moors. Congratulations, Texas Tech. Your quarterback is a spectral presence in a gothic horror novel of the 19th century.

Not horrifying in another way is running back Taj Brooks. If you didn't know, there's a 1500-yard rusher. Yeah, it's a 1,500-yard rusher, just sitting there and allegedly still playing in this bowl game. He is one of my favorite type of running backs because he is, to me, a college football special in that he has never had a game this year below 100 yards. Mr. Consistency, just pounding away. He's 511 and he's listed at 230, which means he might weigh 320 pounds. And so if you watch him, by the way, Ultimate Hammer, longest run this year

at running back the skilled position where sometimes you hit a seam and pull away from everybody unless you're Taj Brooks because his longest run is 40 yards this is he's a botchy ball he's a botchy ball he is public transit because he's just going to give

everyone a ride and he is fun to watch as well this is a Texas Tech is also a volatile team which is going to give you the ball and also take the ball downfield real quick. So remember, whatever happens in this game,

it might not matter because the other team's going to do it right back to the next down. So I don't think we've discussed this before about the Liberty Bowl sponsor AutoZone. In 1986, there was a chain of auto parts stores called AutoShack. AutoShack was sued by Radio Shack. Autoshack changed its name to AutoZone. right it's 1986 is when auto zone came into being fast forward to 1999 auto zone sued the owner of radio shack because radio shack had been using it put a section in its stores called the power zone so auto zone lied in wait for 13 years for

radio shack to slip up um it it didn't work but i like the institutional memory at auto zone um that if if you fucking cross them if you make them change their name if you make them not use the word shack anymore they will wait and they will they will catch you slipping that if you say you got to be zone oh you better not use the word zone uh and i say it didn't work but it kind of did because you know i know where an auto zone is but i don't know any where any radio shacks are i kind of i kind of love the idea of of ginning up artificial confusion in the brands by having people drive their cars through the front of radio shacks Wiki page is, of course, about John Boyce working at RadioShack.

Is it on the WikiPinch? I love this. That's all you ever need to know about Radio Shack. AutoZone, also home of the best chicken sandwich in all of the chicken sandwich wars. The AutoZone chicken sandwich, shouts out to Treblah. AutoZone, I would love to be their corporate counsel because you could send somebody. I need you to get it the zone. The auto zone, because you've been subpoenaed.

Yeah. Court is the zone. And you're in it. Yeah, and you're in it. You're going to need new parts when we're done with you, buddy. We're going to do you like we did Radio Shack. That's right. Fuck off Radio Shack.

Get fucked. Kids today like Radio Who? Exactly. What is, first question. What's the radio? Yeah. Oh, great point. Phonograph, Shack.

Speaking of soon to be obsolete technologies. Yeah, we're going to keep this one quick. All right. Okay. Friday, December 27th, 2024, 8 p.m. Fox Snapdragon Stadium, that's San Diego State's new stadium. San Diego, California.

It's the DirecTV Holiday Bowl. 9 and 3 Syracuse versus 8 and 4, Washington State. Say a prayer, if you will, a moment of silence, a moment of remembrance for a quarterback's room that once held Cam Ward and John

Mateer and now has neither. I have zero interest in talking about this game without the presence of John Mateer, and so I would suggest that we sing the song and keep it moving. You guys want to? I don't think it even deserves the song. Mm-mm. I'm sure what it did

to mean. Sack Braff ruins everything. What it did for what it did to John Mateer. The Las Vegas Bowl. Friday, December 27th, 10.30 p.m. ESPN at the Raiders news stadium. Texas A&M, maybe you guys could learn some aesthetics while you're here for building grand temples to football. That's something y'all could always use more of. USC, well, it's faster than driving to the Rose Bowl.

It's an ESPN game. It's in Las Vegas, two things that are occasionally at odds with one another. You can usually get a good shot of coaches looking uncomfortable being photographed alongside dancers and those big old headdresses at the intro. SRS distribution is all over the merch, but it's not showing up. anywhere else. This game operates for long stretches of time without a title sponsor because, again, it's in Las Vegas. There was one memorable stretch where it was sponsored by Royal Purple, which was a lube company, which excited everybody until we figured out it was lube for automobiles, not for people. Let's remember some guys who have been MVP of the Las Vegas Bowl.

Austin Collie, this is an all-time list. We have saved the best list of Remember Some Guys for list. Austin Colley, Willie Toitama, Doug Musselhamster Martin, Bishop Sankey, and Don L. Pumfrey.

How about it? Damn. These teams have met three times, twice in bowl games, the 1977 Blue Bonnet Bowl and the 1975 Liberty Bowl, and once in the regular season

in L.A. in 1964. USC has won all three times, and it's never been particularly close. Something tells me that streak might snap this year. Two very interesting things that the teams are getting to do because, again, even ESPN owning and operating the game cannot all the way machined down the fact that it is in Las

Vegas. Players get to design their own Air Jordan ones as part of their gift package this year. And Spencer, get ready. Teams will enjoy show night at the sphere. We could have threatened to send you someplace worse. that you never went to, because in addition to the immersive atrium exhibits that are currently on display at the sphere,

guess what the teams are gonna go get to see? Not the Grateful Dead, not Billy Joel. Darren Aronofsky's postcard from Earth. The look on your face, right? Is it like depressing and fucked up? It's Darren Aronofsky, so it's probably some lighthearted family fair. Sure.

Let's watch the Revenant in the sphere That's listen I love comedy in the sphere So yeah By the way the guy who runs the sphere Who listens to this podcast Has informed us Dead and Company have another residency coming up Okay we're going to get you there

Yep Coming up in March I'll go to Let's do it Dead and Company Will be the company It'd be fun to talk about It'd be funny to talk about some football here, but I don't want to.

Not with USC, because they're six and six, and that's bad. And if it really, like, there's a $90 million buyout between us and what should happen at USC. And that's the one thing protecting Lincoln Raleigh's job right now. Hit the tables, whatever weird local luminary is currently serving as USC's athletic director? Yeah, just do some wild West Coast rich guy shit, right? take your blazer and your collared shirt without a tie because you're casual and hit the tables because it'd probably be a safer gamble than whatever's happening with USC's football team right now Texas A&M they started 7 and 1 let's just stop there there it go it's just up there great

first year for Mike Elko and by the way it is a pretty good first year for Mike Elko like don't want to poo that starting over as Texas A&M was still doing better at a more reasonable price than his predecessor. So shouts out to value. Shouts out to Mike Elko. He got in the zone. You'll be hearing from my attorneys for saying that.