Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40: The 2016 Citrus Bowl

Episode Date: December 30, 2016

Number 33 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Citrus Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Wait, no, this is a bowl that has Coach O and Lamar Jackson in it. Of course we're talking about the teams. (And Todd Grantham, Emotional Defensive Coordinator.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown full cast 40 for 40 bowl previews. You are truly blessed and oh so sensuously so because this is the Quiet Storm edition for the Citrus Bowl. Oh, the Citrus Bowl. What would your Quiet Storm nickname be, Ryan? You know, the Quiet Storm being the R&B Love Making Music format, popular through much of the 90s and into the 2000s, even still extant now. Usually people had a name. What would your name be? Well, you've seen a picture.

I mean, most people I assume at this point know what I look like and how pallid, how pallid my skin is. So I'm going to go. I'm going to go with black ice. I think you're more of a freezing fog. I was going to go to winter storm pleasure. Even that are due point. It's up to you.

Ooh. Johnny, John. You have dough eyes. Ronnie, I'm going to call you Ronnie DuPoint. Jason, you got one? For who? For you? You can't give yourself a storm name?

Do you have one for Holly then? Because we were really struggling to come with one for her. Yeah, it's easy. Squally. Rude. Okay, DJ low pressure front. I like that one. That's good.

What's yours, then? Fine? There's a wintry mix. Wintery mix. Well, no, it's the wintry mix with surly frost. That's how we interrupt the show. The human tumbleweed. The human tumbleweed.

The windtreeks are like light and lofty. Okay. Like if you made an adamantium tumbleweed. The sticky tumble, the dense tumbleweed. It'd be, the neutron tumbleweed. The Neutral tumbleweed is actually amazing. It's the doesn't tumble weed. Wait, no, no, guys, the trundleweed.

Oh, I thought you were going to say Fat Gambit. No, the Trundleweed. I was going to go with Thunder Snow Rollins is my name. I can't talk Fat Gambit, and I don't know why I'm trying. The Citrus Bowl features Louisville versus LSU. The way to do Fat Gambit, all right. Yes, fat, we'll go straight. We'll go straight from Fat Gambit into the most Gambit-esque coach currently coaching in FBS.

That would be at Ogeron. Who we have to pretend we like now, right, Holly? Apparently, he's not a trash person, so that's interesting. But it's funny, he's, oof, show off all those Katrina stories. And man, this is one of the least repellent redemption stories this year. Oh, hey, Bobby Petrino. Look at that. I thought you were going to go Lane Kiffin with that.

but yeah no we got kiffin but kiffin is already short he's already short-circuited his own jokes about what lane kiffin said yeah we will get to that or not that's fine too or not yeah we don't have to until until the title game podcast right yep um the what i like about ls u's approach this bowl already so a lot of bowls have competitive eating contest between the teams we mentioned the hot chicken contest for the music city bowl And, of course, there's the beef bowl for the Rose. But LSU just went out on their own and was like, yeah, we want to eat a shitload of wings, please. Is this like a spirit thing? Nah, just sort of, just want to cram as many chicken parts into our bodies as possible.

Thank you. I'd like to hear Coach O describing this. Like, well, we just decided to challenge ourselves. The only man who can out eat a loose the enemy man is a losing enemy. I figured the angel got a wing. Why not Coach O' get 18 wings at once? Every time you hear about the coach O'O go to eat another dozen wing. Now, mind you, the total number, as reported by a Buffalo Wild Wings manager of wings

eaten by the LSU football team in the Citrus Bowl, wing ball ahead of the matchup with OOVL was 4,000. Four thousand, followed by the quote of Ed Orderon saying, After asked, how many wings did Ed Orgeron eat? Quote, a lot. I like wings, unquote. Do you think he ate the bones? Oh, no question. That's a nugget.

I think if you slathered it in buffalo sauce, he'd eat swimmies. That's delicious. That's roughage. It goes right through you. To Ed Ogeron, any food is a nugget as long as he believes in himself. Any food is a nugget. How many of you worked in the restaurant industry, though? me okay so you did jason do you get any experience briefly yeah okay what leads you to believe that

a restaurant manager would accurately report any number much less the number of wings eaten ooh fair yeah no they're lying about everything all the time they're really busy microdosing on ketamine yeah the number came from lSU didn't it are they trying to make themselves sound more big and powerful it came from the b it came from the bw3 owner right it came from the Buffalo Wild Wings manager, which leads me to believe You already have one podcast about Bowls trying to get rid of remaindered food?

Welcome to Orlando. That's what this entire system is about. Orlando is about remaindered people eating remaindered food. So I have two questions. First, of the 4,000, how many of those wings do you think were dangerously undercooked?

I'd say at least 500. 40%. Okay. Well, those are two very different answers. Question two, how badly do you feel for the hotel staff

that had to go into those rooms to change the linens the next day? We're back to what? We just got through Gary Patterson at Taco Bell. No, this is a different thing. This is a different thing. This is not about sweats.

It's about farts. It's about young intentions. It was Gary Patterson's farts that did it, Ryan. Yeah, yeah, we should steer clear of this or Holly I'll drop out of this podcast. Abort. Abort. We'd like her to stay because otherwise we've got to recut this. You don't want that.

What's more work for you? Oh yeah, because I clearly put a lot of work into it. More than us, buddy. Good night. There is that. Oh shit, no, no, no. Pull up, pull up. Do you want to talk about Todd Grantham? I'd love to talk about big old dumb Todd Grantham. That sounds better. That sounds more palatable than Todd Grantham, who's like a living fart.

I bet you could bait him into eating the bones as some sort of toughness thing. I don't think... I mean, I don't like to come out and just say that you don't like somebody or think somebody's a total idiot. Man, I think Todd Grantham would just... I think he'd drown if you left him, like, right side up in the rain. Like, I do not think this is a bright man at all. He's just always looking for trouble is the thing. Like, it feels like everything Todd Granth does is an opportunity to display

his masculinity. Well, you know, Todd Grantham, when you talk about how badly they were beaten, like I was at that Houston, Louisville game, and it is so predictable because when they start to get frustrated, he calls, plays emotionally. Like, if I just said... You've actually watched the other staff

key onto this. No, I've watched the other staff own his emotions. I've watched the other staff capitalize on his dumbness, like on his inherent dumbness. It's like watching somebody collapse at a blackjack table where they're like, boy, that was a Bad beat there. Oh, hit on 18. Oh, geez, double down. Oh, my God. What are you doing? Why are you throwing tips?

I was also at that Houston Louisville game, and I'll be honest, I came there to see if Todd Grantham would fight another coach on the field, which is all I'm ever interested in when I'm at a game involving Todd Grantham. Watching Tom Herman's staff playing, I'm not touching you can't get mad from across the sideline. It was equally satisfying on an emotional level. Holly, we will not name names. But people in the writer's booth, right? In the press box said, oh, yeah. Oh, not on the other side of you from the outlet, we will not name. Like, right before they went on the field was like, oh, here comes this play. Yeah, they were like, here come the emotional blitzes.

Agapel. Agap, it's, every time she's back. I will sack you until my father loves me. It's like the 14-year-old on Madden, who has. options are rage quit punt block and he just leaned on the ladder yeah Grantham is the guy who his like his reaction to the game not going his way isn't the controller's no good it's you know if I scream loudly enough I can reverse the polarity of the earth on its axis I will say this every time he has mentioned this is

the man who was yes hired by Jim Mora Jim Mora senior strike one way This is the man who Mark Ricked called a dumbass. He made him for Rick's on tape calling this man a dumbass. What do you do to get the pastor to call you a dumbass? Like, that's the thing. Can you imagine what actually must have transpired for Mark Rick to be pushed that far? Like, yeah. I mean, this is the dude who gave the choke sign to Chaz Henry

before Jeff Henry kicked the winning field goal in the 2010 Florida, Georgia game. I don't know something else that it's not good at. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, I just, this just fell into place for me because I forgot we were still talking about the same game. Todd Grant them and Ed Ogeron on the same field, huh? Oh, boy, oh, boy. I got money on Ed.

Yeah, man. Todd, yeah, this is, this is it. Louisville's defensive coordinator, in summary, he ain't bright. I'm willing to say that publicly. I'm like, I'll challenge it to Jeopardy, and he'll finish lower the Wolf Blitzer, right? Daily double We're not even

Just do it He thinks a daily double Is a raising cream pie Smashed into an oatmeal cream pie It's got protein Yeah Again Remember kids

You know higher from the NFL Higher coach is the NFL experience Because they're obviously brilliant Like Todd Grant Especially if they've coached for the Browns Who man You do get to watch Lamar Jackson

play quarterback here, which... I know about God, but I believe in Lamar Jackson. Correct. And I'm willing to say this, too. I think it's still going to be kind of a tough road to hoe for him. LSU, they have their usual arrangement of swamp monsters out there. And the closest team in terms of like, sheer talent that they've faced this year, Houston? And Houston, if you go back, they sack Lamar Jackson 11 times. Louisville's all been kind of a mirage.

at times. Either Houston or FSU. No, that would be Houston. We're talking similar to LSU's talent? No, no, no. Houston was above Flores State. I was going to put it in there.

Okay, okay. This is a Gator podcast. No, no. Seriously, I have no reptile in this fight, and I saw this in person. Yeah, Ed Oliver's better than him. You know how I hate agreeing with Spencer. Ed Ologer's a goddamn kaiju.

He's a magnificent human being. If my son's watched him, they'd be better men for seeing him. He's, yeah, absolutely amazing. So, LSU in this game, also playing without Leonard Fournett, this was the source of some micro-controversy where people attempted to say, oh, well, he should play for his team after literally, I don't know, bowing out of every other collective agreement in their lives, insisting that a stranger would do this. Was it Ryan Anderson for Alabama who talked about this today? I don't know.

So Jason will know if I'm getting that wrong. But it was an Alabama player who was asked about the topic of players missing bowl games. And he sort of gives this quizzical look to the reporter who asked this. And he's like, you know, not to be rude, but we're kind of in the playoff all the time. So it's not really an issue for us, which I think is the best answer to this. like, hey, are you mad that your players are not showing up for bowl games? Maybe you should have made the playoff where they would have felt like it was worth it. It's so simple.

He also referred to all other bowl games as the Birmingham Biscuit Bowl. That's right. And the New Orleans Crawfish Bowl. Yeah. It's kind of a Dr. Manhattan kind of answer. All you have to do is make the playoff. I don't understand why you don't just do that. What team doesn't do that every year, Dave?

I mean, shit. Even I almost did it. Yeah, I would love it. Growing up under Pat Summett's rule is why I feel like I get along with these people more than maybe I otherwise should. Because it's like, well, I don't really pay attention to the tournament until the elite eight because... That's the baseline. That's when... Yeah.

If you didn't make it that far, were you in there? tournament at all. I'm wondering in years whether they deserve it or not, well, what do you mean they're not a one seed? Well, they lost, you know, 16. Well, what do you mean they're not a one seed? Yeah, that's, with this game, by the way, when you're dealing with what I think is a team that's overmatched at the

lines but has a superior quarterback and a team that has superior lines, but, uh, yeah, a running back, this, this will be a deeply unsatisfying game to watch. I don't think anyone's going to enjoy what happens in this game provided that I don't know they get to like 24 to 20 in the last like four minutes of the game but otherwise this feels like a fairly even match with some serious discrepancies within that even matching

right equaling kind of a frustrating game that you probably don't want to watch until someone bird dogged you right like go on Twitter we'll tell you if something's interesting so you're saying it's like watching some a group of men eat 4,000 wings at first you're like oh man this is something then by the end of Like, oh, just please stop. But there might be some spectacular vomiting and fumbling of, fumbling of the ball, so to speak, in the last two to three minutes.

Greasy fingers.