Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40: The 2016 Orange Bowl

Episode Date: December 29, 2016

Number 32 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Orange Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! If you have evidence of a Michigan fan and a Florida State fan successfully conversing for more than six minutes straight without the use of a Wisconsin fan as interpreter, please send it our way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the 40 for 40 for the Orange Bowl 2016's edition of any tale you want to tell about two people speaking literally different languages trying to coexist in the same space. Because this involves the Michigan Wolverines and the Florida State's summals. And honestly, I don't know if these two fan bases even understand the words coming out of each other's mouths. That movie that just came out about the lady who translates for aliens or whatever. yeah that's that's about this game yeah amy yeah she has a sort of michigan vibe to her so that works and nobody really knows if florida state fans mean us harm or not spoiler they do i just picture michigan fans encountering florida state fans and talking to them as though you know how people who don't really understand how sign language works can talk to people who

are hard of hearing or are completely deaf by just yelling really loudly as though that will help. What did you get on the SAT 2? Hello, my name is Brett. I love sandwiches. Sandwiches. Hey, see, he looking for directions to the vape shop? Let's pickpocking him.

Wait. Okay, I was looking up name changes to what I still think of as Joe Robbie Stadium, because who cares? Did you guys know that, okay, so we know that this is the game. Yeah, pull the Jimmy Buffett card, do it. No, no, I was going to, but I found something weirder. Like, this is the stadium that was Sun Life Stadium, and it's now a hard rock stadium. And before that, it was delightfully named for Jimmy Buffett's beer from 2009 to 2010. But did you know that in 1996, the stadium was named Pro Player Park?

And it was then changed later in 1990. to Pro Player Stadium, 2005-2006, Dolphins Stadium, 2006 to 2009, Dolphin Stadium. It's helpful if you think of it as of the stadium as a business that keeps going bankrupt and does this to avoid debts. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Dolphins Stadium took out that loan. You want to go bother them about it. Dolphins, but it's the Dolphins to Dolphin Stadium. Like, they all converted to, like, dolphin monotheism at some point, which I shouldn't rule that out. No.

We got a discovery in 2006. I think it's a commentary on endangered species. There's only one dolphin stadium left. That's powerful. And there was only one Landshark. That's true. I'm really glad you took a religious angle because it reminds me that tomorrow, December 28th, at 7.30 a.m. to 9 a.m., There will be at location, Jungle Island, the FCA prayer breakfast for the two teams.

I really think that this is another point where Michigan and Florida State might culturally experience some divides. Dear Lord, Chief. Players to the prayer breakfast, aren't they all like libertarian Reddit atheists? That's, I mean, like, that's what I'm thinking is that like the Michigan players. I'm going to stand outside the prayer breakfast and be like, actually. The Michigan. Am I being detained? Jesus had too many men on the field.

You saw that, right? The refs didn't call that. There were 12. I mean, Michigan fans are, Michigan men in general are becoming a cult. Like, if you just take a look at these documents I've created,

and they must paint, I'll convert you to my way of thinking. Yeah, it's this. Meanwhile, I just see like the Florida State chaplain being like, you know, we pray to Jesus. Okay, everyone agrees on that.

That's cool. Yeah. And to his guns. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. And to his favorite gun, Lucille. Yes, yes, Lucille. Praise to Luce. seal. Pray to that

and to the children who need guns. What happened to Jesus' first gun? Didn't work out, all right? She got half. We're going change those laws. Divorce is a verbal contract. Now Jesus has some bitch and hair, all right? Don't bother him about it. Yeah, yeah. That and

Where's the Tallahassee of Michigan? Ipsilani. East Lansing? Lansing? Might be East Lansing. You know, I've never really bought into the Michigan State disrespect thing until now. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I feel like East Lansing is the Morgan town of Michigan, and I do say that with love. I think anywhere in the UP maybe, is that like Sirius Tallahassee territory? I mean, they're both peninsula, right? I guess. This is, please move on.

Where's the Ann Arbor? of Florida. I thought of that first, but I kind of did a file not found. Yeah, I'm going file not found because I was like... St. Augustine. New College? Is that new college? And new college is still contained within

like a problematic metro area for this comparison. St. Augustine is pretty good. Thank you. It's nothing but old buildings. It is self-obsessed with its own history. And most of it's falsified. Is it? St. Augustine, we got a St. Augustine truther?

Well, the whole founding of youth part was. So. Oh, that. Yeah, that's true. I would go back to the most interesting matchup in this game. If you're actually looking at it, that'd be Michigan's defense, which is extremely stingy and mean, second scoring defense even after, you know, allowing some points to Ohio State. They average 12.5 points a game. They're going to be going up against Florida State who, yeah, I don't. think they're going to be able to move the ball real well on them. I just don't see that. This will be super ugly, super low scoring.

This is just the Orange Bowl does this sometimes. I don't know what it is, the combination of teams. You just go, oh, yeah, you're not getting more than 30 points in this game somehow. This sort of feels like that kind of game. Do you think Jim Harbaugh is in the Fountain of Youth? Yes. I think he thinks the Fountain of Youth is a coward's way. out.

The true Fountain of Youth is hard-working milk. Yeah, no, exactly. Yeah, the Fountain of Youth is like 2% or something. No, absolutely. He's into whole milk, isn't he? Oh, he's into whole milk.

I'm sorry. I don't know. If you find it, he will put a football camp next to it. I misidentified Jim Harbaugh's milk preference. RIP my mention. This is how we know you've been out of the game too long. Or just long enough. If you just consult this PowerPoint I've put together, you'll see that whole milk actually has the greatest amount of benefit for the athlete.

Oh, God, no, don't. Wow. What's he saying about whole milk? Sorry. He looking for the vape shop. Wait, wait, wait, which maybe this is the bridge. Maybe this is the common ground. the vape communities in both these campuses.

Have you seen, by the way, my favorite vine that is the... No, no, let's see you with this. This is where they find avenues of understanding. But are they going to end up in a vape fight? Here's the problem, though. If you refer to Bo, that means very different things in Michigan and Florida State circles. It's true. Oh, my God, does it?

I mean, we know what it means in Michigan circles in Florida State. It's the weapon that got confiscated. by the cops, which is bullshit. Because you're trained. By TSA. Listen, man, they got a blade. That's why I got it.

That the Treblah, who is a Penn State fan, every time before they challenge a Big Ten opponent will post this thing that goes like, that he'll post like to one fan or to the program itself. He's like, yo, we're ready for you. And it's this vine of a bunch of dudes outside of a vape shop, like 30 of them.

When I'm going, yo, man, we're 519. VAPE. Salute. And they all, like, vape at once, right? Just like, at once. I see that's how these two fan bases meet in vape competition. Okay, we talked a couple shows back about the heroism of OB, the Orange Bowl mascot. Mm-hmm.

I'm just scrolling through the Orange Bowl Twitter feed, and I found another act of just selfless dedication to the task. There is a tweet with a photo of from last week, December 21st, of Obie stand-up paddleboarding. Can you imagine if that thing loses its balance and falls in the water in that ocean suit? You're fucking dead. No, that thing's buoyant.

You kidding me? It's like an old timey diving bell. No, it would fill up, it would sponge up water instantly, and you would like waterboard yourself to death inside it. You could die face down in a municipal water fountain wrongly applied in this thing. And that's how Obie saved Miami from rising ocean ties.

You're welcome. Rising Tides.