Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40: The 2018 Music City through Arizona Bowls

Episode Date: December 22, 2018

Nope, this is also not the one that went super wrong. Though it does have an interlude where Spencer and Holly have to clean up a spill and Jason and Ryan are basically left talking to themselves, which we didn't edit out because why lie to you like that? Topics on this episode: 3:12 - THE MUSIC CITY BOWL 12:08 - THE CAMPING WORLD BOWL 26:37 - THE ALAMO BOWL 37:31 - THE PEACH BOWL 39:46 - THE BELK BOWL 47:11 - THE ARIZONA BOWL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

welcome to the shutdown down full cast not just it full cast no no no it's a 40 for 40 that's right we give the approximate amount of time every bowl deserves and then we just sort of move on which that might be how is that different from what we regularly do um it's happening in December, and it's got exciting sponsors like shady mortgage companies. No, they're leaving. They're leaving the Music City Bowl, I think, in two years. No, but they picked up the Arizona Bowl. Remember, every bowl game, at least one bowl game by law has to be sponsored by a company

that probably will in the next couple of years be served scary federal subpoenas. The interesting about all bowl sponsors is they'll all sell you a mortgage. You go to Belk and you bring the paperwork, they'll mortgage you a house. They don't care. Man, fuck, Belk. Wow. Now we're cooking. Now we're off and running.

No, no, I decided we were going to pick a fight with one of these bowl games because one of them are interesting and sorry, Belk, you're it. Yeah. Fuck you two. It's also the one of the few ones that pays attention to us. Yeah, I like that choice though, because we know they'll hear it. I got them blocked on Twitter because they're so. fucking thirsty.

Ooh, damn. You're not Belk. I block everyone. Hey, Belk bowl, if you're not scared, you'll fly us in for your game and put us up in nice accommodations and then we'll fight unless you're scared.

Man, I've been there for the ACC championship game and that's bad enough. I'm not going there into the beautiful site. It's weird by the way that, you know, South Carolina and UVA in that game, you know, you haven't blocked and that'll be the only block in this leg with that bowl game. Woo! That's going to be a mess! We really want to bring that many white Nash to listen to Sharma.

Jason, do you want to explain the background noise for our listeners? Yeah, those are cats that aren't mine. So, daughter's playing Minecraft. She's going to bed soon, so the ambiance will die down, but I decided to let it ride because earlier she was eating cake, and when you eat cake in this game, it makes a disgusting belch noise. Can you run that back for us? Can you do the cake sound?

again she's climbing up the ladder to demonstrate one more time cake sound isn't that awful yeah that's that's when you when you belch like that you need to go see a doctor yeah you need especially from cake like cake shouldn't produce that noise well i mean like immediately is the thing right all right that's enough of that we're trying to sell some belks belk stores here to disgust everyone. I know. Okay, now you're going to dive down there into the cat land. All right, here come the cats.

Cutdown full cat has yet to make an appearance on this program. What bowl are we on? I got lost. The Music City Bowl. Okay, thank you. We're going to dive right into it with our first 40 for 40, which is the Music City Bowl. What are you saying it like it's movie phone?

hold on because because like that is pretty good though that I think that is a fit actually that was the last time anyone cared about music city bowl thank you for calling music city bowl if you're looking for Purdue press one if you're looking for Auburn ha ha ha because this is disappointment because I don't know if you remember I know back before the season. Auburn, if we said you ended up in the Music City Bowl, oh no, no, no, that was not going to do. That was not going to do it all. And now kind of feels like a miracle they're here. Well, I mean, I think miracles are all around in this game. Both of these coaches are still with their teams. And if you had told me that was the case in like early November, I would have,

I would have said no way, but they are. So we don't have to ask why or why. City Miracle. It's a music city miracle. The first time anyone has ever used that term to refer to a supporting thing. Ever! So if you were to call a movie phone for the Music City Bowl, number one would be press one for Kentucky. Because they've been there five times.

Press 2 for disappointing Tennessee team. Wait. No, we're not in a bowl. No, I know. We're just talking about generally. We're just talking about where people might be looking for Tennessee. I was so happy to be able to turn my brain off for this part of the season. You'll probably never guess for who would be number two on the movie phone.

On the all-time Music City movie phone? Yeah. Is it a big, is it an ACC team? No. Is it a Big Ten team? Yes. Press two for a Big Ten team. Northwestern?

No. Oh, damn it. It's in the Big Ten. recency bias. Minnesota showing times are 11 a.m. Central. Minnesota beat Alabama in a music city bowl, didn't they? Wait, what? Yes, that's canon. And it was this century, too. They didn't know. Wow. Yeah.

My favorite Music City Bowl memory of all time was when Kentucky played Florida State in this bowl game and had something like 32 players suspended due to academic fraud not the usual ah you know we got one or two guys out nope two whole recruiting classes y'all um no no kentucky one kentucky one yeah kentucky one because they can because they can beat florida state this was 2007 of course when kentucky beat the number one team in the country in triple overtime uh-huh so of course their season ended with beating basically a division two team. Oh, what sweet music

to my ears that is appropriate because this is, it's the Nashville Bowl, which by the way, halftime does not feature featured musical entertainment from Music City. It does not. Like, if I were to just guess they're all getting ready for the Super Bowl.

That's right, because otherwise I'd be like, you wouldn't get Luke Brian for this, you'd get Brian Luke, right? Right. Brian Luke! Or? Who's Derks Bentley? Who is that? Derks?

Who's Burks Dentley? Who's Dork Bentley? Who's Mitchell Ten Penny? Mitchell Ten Penny is an actual name, by the way. Y'all are never going to believe who I saw as the face of the Gilden at in a store over the weekend. Dirk's Bentley? Blake Shelton. Blake's ass Blake, Belk Shelton.

Burke Shurton. Broke Shelton. Kip Morton. Horace Anthony in the crates Mo Kipper Smoke Dallas Corn Elder I'm sorry

Did you say smoke Dallas Smoke Dallas Are we running through Auburn's roster Steve These are people This is the Nebraska Quarterback

Oh I was thinking to smoke Monday Sorry Bonnett the Hedge dog Ben and Carp Mariella Tubbs Broit areas ham The Blowfish

Local favorite, Skark Tutweiler. And my favorite band, seven guys named Luke. The best one, you know, there's a... This is bringing it back to the Star Wars story about when they cloned Luke. Y'all can go find that one in the archives,

but that's a band now. Yeah, by the way, one of those names is real. Mitchell Tenpenny. Mitchell Tenpenny is an actual music singer. I like that Nashville has exploded so much now that it's sort of like when um like how michael keaton is not michael keaton's name it's michael douglas but that was already taken when that was that was already taken when he uh was getting a sag card and they have they have a rule that's like you know we we're not doing multiple people

with the same name so he changed it to michael keaton because he's a buster keaton fan so that's sort of what being a a country musician in nashville is now you're there you're you're not you're you just show up and you're like, well, my name's this. And they're like, well, that one's taken. So, uh, good luck. It's wild that the name young thug was still available. That's just the obvious one nobody really picked up on. It was hiding in plain sight all along.

That's like, do you wonder if the MC handle like good rapper is out there? Good rapper. Nobody, nobody took it? Why is it? I'm going to see if, I'm going to see if Speaking of Music City, that would be, that would actually be Nashville's best rapper ever, MC Good Rapper.

MC Good, yeah, great. Sorry, Young Buck, sorry, Young Buck. Sorry, Young Buck. I was going to say, my number one, Young Buck, number two, good rapper. Mr. Good Rappers. Young Buck featuring MC Good Rapper. It's got the City on Smash.

Yeah. Good rapper off a Young Life Records. That's, I would, I would remind everybody that there are reasons to watch this game. They're all Rondale Moore. all of them. They're all Ron Dale Moore. Do you like watching somebody complete seven yard passes at like a 52% completion rate? Cool. That's what Jared Stiddam's for. Okay. But if you want to watch somebody who's actually like hot grease on fire every single time he touches the ball, Ron Dale Moore, who for some reason is at Purdue and as a freshman squatted, I don't know. I look up the numbers. I think it was 1,400 pounds, something like that. Oh, we know the reason he's at Purdue. Because of Louisville's former head coach fucked up. Louisville?

Yeah. Yeah, some college very near Rondale Moore's place of residence. Just decided, who needs that guy? Yeah. So Purdue and Auburn, they've never played each other. History, college football history in the making. You would think this would be one of the greatest rivalries of, them all. Oh, man. Auburn

Purdue is a great fake country name. Hey, y'all, I'm Auburn Purdue, and I'm here to play some terrible pop country for y'all. Two, three, four. Florida, Georgia, line. From the Auburn Purdue line. Auburn-Purdue line. Auburn by three and a half, by the little.

Yeah, this isn't as much of a culture class as either school would like to try. So, Purdue, which state are they from? Indiana. Yeah. So there is an Auburn, Indiana. The most famous moment in the history of the town is when John Dillinger, bank robber scourge of the Midwest, right before his biggest job, he decided he didn't have enough guns.

So what he did was he went around and started robbing police stations. The first one he hit was him and two guys walked into Auburn, Indiana's police station and said, all right, clear out the whole armory, walked out of there. with a tommy gun, bulletproof vests, all the other weapons and the two cops are just sitting there like, well, we just got robbed by John Dillinger. And that was the greatest moment in Auburn, Indiana history.

What's it work? Honorary Miami Hurricane John Dillinger. All right. Now we have to move on to the next bowl. Yeah. Yeah, we'll hit him with the welcome. Hold on. Welcome to the shutdown, full cast, 40 for 44.

You don't have to, you don't have to do the full welcome. I'm going to, no. Let him cook. Let him cook. It doesn't feel right without the welcome free. Yeah, fine, fine. Are you going to introduce us again? We're killing, we're killing airtime here.

No, yeah, because you know we're real precious about that. Now you just made me. The FCC is going to be honest. I'm sorry, Spencer, start over. Welcome to the camp. No, no, no, run it back. They didn't hear you. They didn't hear you.

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. This is our 40 for 40 for the Camping World Bowl. It's a world of camping out there, folks. You need to get into it. That's some prehistoric shit. Yeah. You know who's going to be camping? As in outside the stadium?

As in pooping outdoors? As in not there. prepping in the wilderness, lifting logs and living in a barn. Will Greer, the quarterback for West Virginia. The man with a mountain scene tattooed on his arm isn't at the camping world bowl. Jeremiah Johnson. Yeah, because they're too, because that's corporate camping. He likes off the grid.

He doesn't want, yeah, no, it's fine. I'm saying, I'm saying the cap, this is a big loss for the camping world. The man has pine trees all over his arm and the CW couldn't even lock him down. yeah he's he's going to be out camping for the NFL that's what he's going to be hunting for bucks in the NFL I hate you that's what he's going to be doing I hate you yeah wait we know but why no we're not going no just keep going God damn it that's okay because at least you'll have like oh that's cute you know what else reminds me a two baby donkey snuggling his friendship with starting left tackle

yodney caduce yeah that's right and you know who else isn't going to be at the bowl game guess who else is out there with will greer camping looking for looking for treasure out in them NFL wildernesses yeah Dana might as well that would be the best if Dana was like for my own professional interest I too have chosen not to play in the camping world ball you're on your on jack owles are you taking another job no i just got shit i got us i got us do stuff can you just pick this one up for me can i just switch ships that'd be good because i don't think it's gonna go well and i'd rather i'll cover you on easter that's not really a thing for me so yeah like i was i saw an interview with the airplane pilot once like for a major airline who was involved in a serious

wreck right like a crash and he uh was asked well, what would you do differently that day if you could? And he was like, I would have called in sick. And I always think that about ball games like this, where all of a sudden Dana just has to run it as a scrimmage because he's got first-time starter, sophomore Jack Allison rolling out there, right? Jack Allison, who clearly already sounds like a World War I martyr, right? Like, yep, Jack Allison went to Verdun.

And he performed at 13. At good with a squirrel rifle, adept with the instincts of a mountain. near, he performed well, killing 148 Germans until he was felled by the nasty hun. Yeah, that's what I think of when I think of Jack Allison. And that ain't good, because he's going to be going up against an extremely motivated Syracuse team. Because Syracuse, the last time, Syracuse won nine or more games. When was that? 1998.

1992, right? no no you're you're actually more pessimistic than even i was when i looked at 2000 close 2001 all right you remember no when syracuse won 10 games they won 10 games in 2001 i would not describe the syracuse defense as resembling trench warfare though they don't move much maybe the trench warfare once the tanks got involved maybe if we're talking about the dysentery and letting things run through you yeah maybe i think the the syracuse defense reminds me of the uh the first christmas and in the trench warfare when everyone just said fuck this let's play soccer that's that's pretty like other than eric dungy the only other player that people i think can readily name is eric zimitt right the kicker who i did see at

the college football awards and he is younger than any of us ever were. None of us were ever as young or shiny as Syracuse's kicker. Their defense is better than they have been. They're not great. They're only 60th in S&P, but they are, they're not like abjectly terrible. Yeah, they're not Oklahoma bad. But they used to be Oklahoma bad. Sure. It's Andre Zimitt, by the way. Don't correct me. I already corrected myself. I just wanted to call everyone on Syracuse. Eric, they're all avatars of Eric Dungy, all of them. This will be, I think, the finale for Eric Dungy, who I think is the People's Hysman

great, because Eric Dungy has been, Eric Dungy has been through some things, man. Eric Dungy has been hit, injured. Every single game that you see with Eric Dungy, they're like, I don't know. He might have a lacerated liver, but, you know, hey, he's coming out for the second half. There he goes. I mean, I hope it's the last. game for him. Me too.

Damn. This dude is like, he sacrificed so much for football. It would be one way to put it. I saw some, some, Dino Babers making comments about his potential in the NFL, and I thought, no! No! Give him a third string gig. That's all I want for Eric Dungey.

I don't want him to ever play football ever again. And I say that with the utmost respect. Holder, 10-year holder in the NFL, Eric Dungey. Yeah. shouts out to that future person that I am willing into existence because I love Eric Dungy. He's been a great college quarterback. He's pulled some outstanding upsets straight from his fainted asshole, like the defeat of Clemson at home last year. But I don't see anything, I don't see anything that says that he is not the people's

eyesmen because we got to give him an award now because he's. I would like to read you to Eric Dungy, um, headlines. from this season. These are not from SB Nation. They're from two different sources, but they're a week apart.

The first headline from November 17th. Eric Dungey's Syracuse career may be over after likely back injury. Dude, I think I've seen that headline

like nine times. Can't fool me. Don't fall for it. Hold on on November 24th. And this headline is from Syracuse.com. Syracuse football QB Eric Dungey,

quote, healed like Wolverine. before six touchdown game at Boston College. And where is Syracuse in Canada? That's right. That's true. You know, like Wolverine made some money with some duty-free smokes. And like Wolverine, like, you're like, do you really want to be doing this?

Can't you just be happy somewhere? Were you something else and then you were part of some sort of shady Syracuse quarterback experiment? He's been trying to quit this shit for a hundred years, yeah. Just let me die, Bob. Literally tried to die in World War II, and it didn't take. We've seen the video, though. This is how he restores himself. If you've not seen it, Eric Dungey for a class project, did a video where he poured grape soda all over his shirtless, writhing, form dancing.

That's how he does it. He goes, he gets grievously injured, and then he heals like Wolverine, as long as somebody is pouring some flavor of grape fago all over him. Coding himself in adamantium. Yeah, adamantium's not real, but grape soda is. So you work with what you got. That is how Wolverine dies, though. He gets buried in adamantium. So that's probably what Eric Nungy is trying to do.

Also, that didn't work either. Damn. Eric Dungey's like, I'm coming back for a fifth year, grad school. Old man Logan, Eric Dungey. That's the thing is go back and look at how many times Eric Dungey's career has been over and in doubt. it's like the last three years they're like sorry i don't know if he's really going to make it back onto the field much less back to school no you watch this is in orlando one of seven bowl games i think that's seven that sure takes place in orlando i did look up the lowest rated

orlando tourist attractions uh magical midways pretty low mostly what is that Yeah, magical Midway is kind of one of these grab bag roadside attractions that consist of like a poorly maintained go track, a, I believe a Mary go round, a one of those, I don't know what you call it with the swings, like one of those swing things that. Oh, this is where when you're taking your kids. Oh, like a sex swing. When you're taking your kids to Orlando, but you've been banned from Universal and Disney. And you're like, where are we going to go? You're like, well, got one place left. Also, my daughter's no longer in here, so I can say that.

For people like me. It's day three, it's day three Orlando. When dad miscalculates the amount of cash he has, doesn't want to put it on the credit card and goes, well, $80 is going to have to do for today. Let's go to Magical Midway. I did look up the Magical Midway website. They have a slingshot.

The slingshot is the attraction that consists of a pair of seats inside a metal ring. That is suspended on two huge bungee cords. strung to poles that you pull down, sit in, and then everybody screams and cries and says, my God, why did I do this? Nothing about this is fun. I have seen terror and I want to die. And this will be the last thing I remember before I actually die in order to not regret departing this life. They have one of those. And if you get on it and you're a Syracuse fan or a West Virginia fan, you get whatever you deserve because that thing hasn't been inspected in decades. Unless you're Eric Dungey.

Eric Dungey broken in half during a tragic magical midway slingshot act. It's expected to miss two drives. That's what they're going to do during the broadcast of this game. It's to be like the montage of like the fellas taken in the sights of Orlando. There goes Eric Dungey. He found a gator. It ate him.

Anyway, he's on the field. Yeah, Jack Allison, the quarterback is going to be starting for West Virginia. I would point out he's a transfer from the U. and this is his big return to Florida. Counterpoint. Your big return to Florida is going to Orlando. Enjoy it. Counterpoint, he's not in the pinstripe bowl.

Oh, man, that's a go. Where do you guys want to go for the pinstripe bowl? Yeah, we're taking the team to a Dwayne Reed. Yeah! Duane Reed gift certificates. We don't honor those. Sorry. do we remember in this game because these were these teams were actual rivals for a while

do we remember the 1992 game oh yeah vividly the uh yeah that had an event um Syracuse quarterback Marvin Graves starts a big old fight on the sideline um in in all of that a West Virginia DB gets ejected and shortly after that Graves throws the winning touchdown to the guy who replaced the West Virginia DB who got ejected. That's smart. That's how chess works. Without this, this helped secure Syracuse is basically their second best season since 1959.

So without that underhanded chicanery, they would have had one really good season since then. Imagine trying to explain or motivate anyone on either of these teams with that. So the years, they're like, whoa, did they have? have phones. That's when my mom was born. If you're worried about a password security in 2018, you're like, oh, I've got to think of a password that other people won't guess. Go with 1992 Syracuse football, all one word. Nobody will ever guess that. Whoa, was that back when

the carrier dome didn't have air conditioning? That technology still hasn't made us way up there. Oh, wait, it has, right? They put it in this year or something like that? I think they're planning on it. I don't think it's really good. Oh, they got awful soft nose once Scott Schaefer was out the place. Guys, remember the days when you were always ready to go? Now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed. Listen up. Bluechew.com.

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All right, next well, go ahead, just do it. Oh, no, it's a special one because this is in San Antonio. Yeah. Bienvanido Out of Shutdown Fullback This is the preview for the Alamo bowl Didn't even get the name of the show right That's fine

No That's sadima I can do it again No, it's fine Yeah, do it again The Shuttown full cast Just edit it, drop it there, it's hot Oh, yeah, because you know the rigorous editing process I go through on this show.

Can you do it in Chinese now? Yeah, I forgot how to say welcome. So that's going to be a problem. We'll do that for the Belk Bowl. Perfect for the Belk Bowl. That's where all their clothes are made. Found on bodies. Yeah, the Alamo Bowl and beautiful San Antonio, this is our preview.

We're going to devote exactly as much. much time as it requires. This, this is for my money, one of the weirder, more intriguing, but also weirder. And by that, I mean, interesting, but I don't know how interesting, because I have no idea how these teams actually match up. This would be Washington State versus Iowa State. This is, this is a wife swap bowl game. This is where it's like, he's, his family doesn't listen to music and they only eat mayonnaise. And Ozzy Osbourne's going to be their dad for a week. And it's like, come on stop it's just pretty it that pretty much is ozzy osborne right just the guy who walks around going i used to do a bunch of really weird stuff you know the first crazy train left for

the west coast funny thing about the crazy train uh i will just say before anything these two teams should enjoy the hell out of this. If we find out later, they go, man, you know how teams go to bowl games and they come back later and their expenditures exceed their actual revenue from the bowl game by, you know, $100,000, $200,000. I want both of these teams to come back and be like, shit, we're bankrupt. What the hell that we do in San Antonio? Because you know, the next time you're getting to a bowl game this nice, you don't know. Don't take this for granted. did you're Washington State and Iowa State? You go, oh, next year we'll be better.

Who says? No, no, no, you won't. No. You will not. It ain't happening. You think you're going to get Gardner Minshu again? You think you're going to hold on to Matt Campbell this long? Oh, no, no, no.

That milk's already several days past expiration date, okay? It's going. Matt Campbell's milk. That's it. It'd be huge in Ames. You'd be like, I only drink Matt Campbell's milk. Matt Cowbell. But, yeah, like, go ahead, enjoy the hell out of this.

If there's irresponsible outrage stories about, like, these public universities spent $3 million just to go to this bowl game and now they're in debt. Yeah, that's right. I bet Paul Johnson's been milked. Moonshine comes out. I was thinking of coaches that have probably hooked themselves up to milking machines, and he was first.

I'm doing it to feed my family. I was thinking about coaches that have probably hooked themselves up to milking machines. Oh, like you weren't also. So in this case, no, I wasn't. Never figured you for Twitter, Ryan. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you damn well, it did. The line is currently a wazoo by three and a half, which makes sense to me because I think Iowa State's a little banged up in the secondary.

And in addition to that, we got Gardner Minshu, the nibbler. Gardner Minchee never, like he will throw a downfield, but man, that dude will hit a check down like he just threw a TD. The constant gardener. constantly gardening his way down the field. Just digging and scratching. One row a turn-ups at a time. That's what that movie's about, right? I've never seen it.

Yep, you nailed it. This is an infinite improvement on the actual film. Jason, are you betting on this game? This particular one, let me see. What date are these games on? No, I'm not seeing this one here. Good, thank you. This is on Friday, December 28th, which, man, that, that whole slate started at 1.30, like goes music city, camping world finishes with the Alamo.

That's pretty hot. That's a good solid day. Yeah. Three game Big 12 Alamo Bull streak on the line. I do think if Iowa State wins this game, the Big 12 need to start bragging about that more openly. Why not? We own the Alamo Bowl. San Antonio's

Big 12 country You could invite UTSA Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Has Iowa State faced the sort of Pass-first Air Raid-style team

so far this year? Yeah, Iowa That's who I was thinking of No, because they ducked South Dakota State You don't really want to let the jack rabbits in Hard catch Skittron all over that turf.

I was kidding. They don't throw that much. Yeah, they did face West Virginia, which when people say, oh, no, I'm just going to discount Iowa State entirely in this thing. I'm like, eh, they beat Texas Tech. Yeah, they beat West Virginia. They beat West Virginia now. They beat Oklahoma State. They also beat West Virginia.

Mm-hmm. Stop it. See, we've got them up to like 7 and 0 against West Virginia this year. I can't believe that only made the Alamo Bowl beating West Virginia seven times. A damn NBA series. They did have the one loss to West Virginia. Oh, shit. They went seven and one against West Virginia.

That's pretty good, though. That was a ranked team despite the seven losses. They were quality losses, though. West Virginia is rolling into the Camping World Bowl at four and seven. Is it possible we're discounting them in this game? they barely beat Drake, which again, to end the year, Iowa State, barely beat Drake. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't help. I mean, but come on.

Do you think they remembered? This is still my thing. I think half of people in that team didn't remember they were playing Drake. I don't think you should have to to beat Drake. Yeah. They beat Drake. Yeah, but not by three. They almost didn't.

Yeah, they beat Drake, okay? Listen, that's all I'm saying. Don't count that game That's not real football That counted That's like when Alabama That's like when Alabama Schedules their like triple option team

It allows like oh a hundred yards rushing And wins by 40 anyway Yeah Alabama they're not Iowa State I was taking When I was state Ones it in they lose Drake isn't the Citadel

You hear that Iowa State You're on the way to Alabama One second We're going to have to pause here If there's been a spill Hold on Oh boy The traditional Alamo Bowl spill

Brought you by Swiffer That's lots What do you need Meanwhile let me hit you with an Alamo Bowl fun fact Paul Wolfe's only power five jobs Since cratering Washington State Does anyone know what it was?

I assume it was a coordinator job No What? He got a head coaching job? No. Was it a... He was at USF for a little while, isn't he? Oh, you said Power 5 job. Sorry. I guess it must have been an Iowa State. Otherwise, I don't know.

But what could he have possibly done at Iowa State? He was a volunteer for Paul Rhodes for five games. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We don't give Iowa State enough credit. student athlete coach Jesus Christ Do you think like at Nick Sabin's

like coach refurbishing plant where they bring in the student athlete coaches who just do it for the love of the game that they make them go to class like they have to go to math class? Yes and they live in the dorms and they're on the meal plan and you know what

just just getting the classes you want because you're not getting first priority you got to wait like Oh, my God. Blogging on to whatever system they use. Garbage. You know, like, Tosh Lupoi has to come, like, check your classes to make sure you're there. Yeah.

100%. Coach Saving. Coach Durkin wasn't in philosophy class today. Do you think they'd have... How much work do you think Paul Wolf would have to put it in Alabama before he gets a bigger job there? So, like, we know how Bama works. They got, like, the line of succession to become O.C. and once you're OC for exactly 12 games, you become a head coach.

Right. But I would imagine Paul Wolf, it would take him like 10 years to climb that chart. Like, Sark would return, Kiffin would return. Loxley will be back in a few years. Hi, I'm 78-year-old grad assistant Paul Wolf. The Wolfman. I make $13,000 a year and I'm happy for it. 13,000.

So, like, inflation adjusted, that's like four bucks. Meanwhile, Nick Saban is making, like, a quarter billion per year. We appreciate what Paul brings to this team. He's not allowed to answer any questions ever. Don't look at her. You mean from the media? No, I mean, ever, from anyone. I mean, from me, anyone.

I don't ask him anything. I just can't get rid of the guy. What did we spill? Yeah, what was the disaster? Was it like a whole damn thing? tank? Was Spencer dousing himself in grape soda? I'm never going to die.

I'm going to be Wolverine. You'll see. Did we spill Spencer? All right, we will actually just wait for them to come back at this point. I'll cut this. No, nothing's getting cut. All right, well, you can do the next welcome. Oh, wait. can do the next welcome actually it's fine uh oh yeah let's get through this welcome to the peach

bowl preview fuck this peach ball all right next we will move along to the belk bowl well we should wait we should wait for them for that at least yeah they can they can participate in the belt bowl preview um okay i ever so everybody's talking about florida at UCF for reasons but i maintain that the funnier matchup in this bowl game would have been not Gators versus Knights, but UCF versus Michigan. Oh, my God. Why didn't we get that? Why didn't we get to see Michigan fans work themselves into a tizzy at the prospect of losing to UCF, the least Michigan school in the world?

Which prestigious athletic institution will be matching wits with? Which center of research? selected for us to contest. Ah, the University of Central Florida. Ah, and their area of expertise. Uh, drinking on a miniature golf course. I see. I see.

Looking at spaceships. Mm, they designed spaceships. No. No. They watched them. Uh, arena football fighting. I think the better part of this is this would have meant the Fiesta Bowl would have been LSU Florida rematch. No.

I see that Brat Spencer back Maybe But just imagine the committee coming out Like we felt We charge ourselves with booking At least one marquee matchup In the New Year 6 games

And we decided nothing could top LSU versus Florida Story national champions Don't ask when A matchup Unseen in recent history They have actually never played each other. And they get along very well. They love to travel places together.

All right. Now we can do the next one. Spencer. It's Belkball time. Welcome to the shutdown full cast, 4440, for the Belkbold. The hated Belkball. The disgusting. bedridden

ugly belk bowl I still like the belk bowl I do too I just thought we were doing a thing and now I feel like you abandoned me so unlike Ryan unlike Ryan that's awful hater damn why am I the belt bowl

and Christmas too what an asshole what a stupid asshole Ryan is right guys we call him the belt grint You might want khakis, but you're not getting them. Someone's been a naughty belk. That's, please don't ever say that again. Yeah, this game is.

Virginia, South Carolina, there's going to be a fight. This game is, uh, is it, is it good? No, I guarantee you, this game has no possibility of being good. Will it be the bad kind of good, like the entertaining kind of bad, possibly? it's South Carolina with nobody, nobody on defense. If you want to know what kind of a year it's been for South Carolina, their defensive line, every single person on their depth chart has missed time due to injury.

And that's not over because Javon Kinlaw and senior cornerback, Kishon Nixon, yeah, they're out for this game. What about, can you name a list of all the very exciting offensive players on the two of these rosters combined. Debo Samuel, who's not playing in this game, if I am correct? Correct. Which means the entire list of very exciting offensive players is not participating. I thought UVA had a decent quarterback this year.

Did I make that up? I might have. Probably. Okay, well. No, no, no. You did not make that up. Bryce Perkins. Thank you.

Jesus. Jesus, what a UVA name. Yeah. He's very excited. in that Bryce Perkins made most of his best place, just, you know, kind of making stuff up, man. This is, this is the new UVA quarterback rule. Your name has to sound like it can be, insert that into named in insider trading lawsuit. Like, as long as it fits in there, or it sounds like an accounting firm that got busted for cooking the books. Bryce, oh, he was with

Bryce Perkins. Oh, they went under three years ago. embarrassing what they did for the industry that is in scandalous circumstances they've now rebranded as Perkins Bryce account sure your Virginia quarterback name is the most

popular girl your senior year of high school and the most expensive store in your neighborhood that isn't a chain wow yeah that's doable send us your UVA quarterback names thank you This is the one game in this group I did bet on. I have UVA plus 4.5 just because I figured neither of these teams can score 4.5 points.

But now you have to care about the Belk Bowl. I'm going to watch it anyway. I love the Belk Bull. This game, not the Belk Bulls already turned on me by now. I can tell. I love every Belk Bull. I mean, if we're being honest, I'm going to watch every bowl. It's just there's no way to avoid it.

They might have already tweeted at you, honestly. Fuck. Fuck. Would we like a historical fun fact about the Belk Bowl? I would like to jump in first with some history of the Belk Company from the Belk website. This is from our history. 1888, William Henry Belk opens his first store in Monroe, North Carolina, with $750 in savings of $500 loan,

and $3,000 worth of goods taken on consignment. the business flourishes often through store partnerships with trusted businessmen. Next entry, 2010, Belk launches a fresh new logo and like Jesus disappearing for a long time in the Bible. Belk wanders the wilderness and then returns with Miracles 3, modern southern style. So they were using that 1888 logo until 2010. Belk logo. Yeah. Some shit that Jeb Belk drew a thousand years ago.

If the Belk history is to be believed, nothing changed at the company for like a hundred years plus, almost 130 years. So we actually, we have the same fun fact, except I got it. I got the real dirt. Okay. I didn't take it from the government approved website. Yeah, belk.com, an official government website. It's belk.gov. So, do we know the name of that first store that, Theodore Belk started?

I do. I do. New York racket. New York racket. Was this in New York? No. It was actually called New York Rock. It was called New York Racket.

New York Racket. which New York Rackett is like nine people cussing at you because you're not walking fast enough New York invented the Belk Bowl boom Wait racket as in what a racket or racket I think the former like you gotta come and see what all the fuss is about yeah or hey this is a scam

also have we seen the slogan of the original Belk I guess I guess it lingers for 113 years until modern southern style. No, I have not seen it. What was it? The cheapest store on earth. Which is quite a fucking claim. Like, there wasn't

no damn store in the Ottoman Empire, the collapsing Ottoman Empire that was cheaper than this. I mean, there are third world countries, bro. You're telling me you're going to undersell them? Okay. Have you known? notice this theme and things that center around Charlotte, right? Like Rick, like Rick Flair would

always do that. He'd go, I've been to all the great cities of the world. London, Paris, Charlotte. And I can tell you, who, ain't none of them got a cheaper deal. He would name places in North Carolina, right? Like that he'd be like, I've been to amazing places like Buenos Aires and Moscow and Boone and Rome. And Rome. not Wilmington not yet I'm planning on it though All right do the last one

Oh it's time for the last one This won't be very long So I'll hit you with a quick one Welcome To the shutdown full cast 40 for 40 This is our preview for The Arizona Bowl Woo, the Arizona Bowl.

It's like the warm-up Fiesta Bowl for the Micron PC. I don't even know. It's like Arizona's Cure Bowl minus the charity. There is no cure for Arizona. Well, we got a minute. I'm going to buy that truck up in wanting. Wait, don't you need, like, weeks to shop for a car? I don't.

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