Shutdown Fullcast - 40 for 40: The 2018 Outback through Sugar Bowls

Episode Date: December 29, 2018

Appearing on this program per usual: Spencer, Holly, Jason Appearing on this program only via submitted texts to his cohosts because he lost his voice and getting sick during the holidays is some bullshit: Ryan Bowls discussed on this episode: 6:06: THE OUTBACK BOWL 17:49: THE CITRUS BOWL 24:18: THE FIESTA BOWL 31:50: THE ROSE BOWL 41:32: THE SUGAR BOWL How much we love you: Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

welcome to the shutdown forecast 4440 oh the home stretch we're here we're here at long last to the bowl games that that really sort of matter and that's as hard as you can get in bowl season which bowl games matter sort of matter that's about as good as you're going to get if it's not a playoff game and even then that's open to interpretation looking at you Notre Dame. Are you trying to say our football postseason, there are games that you could just straight up cancel them, not play them, and no one would really notice or care? You know, during the regular season. Especially given the word ESPN puts into their own ESPN events. If you have lightning during a game, it's customary to wait 30 minutes until you've not seen a lightning straight

within what, 10 miles of the stadium? Correct? Yeah, I think it might be more about something like that, yeah. Yeah. During the regular season, people will wait for this. They'll wait an hour. They'll wait several hours. I recall a Louisiana

tech game that at one point was postponed until, I don't know, two or three in the morning they're waiting for lightning to clear off. They'll play it.

They're like, fuck you. We've played Hawaii before. We don't sleep. No. We go 4,000 miles for a conference game. What?

Skit Holt sleeps a ground from the ceiling wrapped in a cocoon of his own wings he's not going to bed no yeah the the paranormal and the paranormally talented skip holes no bowl game you get 90 minutes of lightning delays bye we're done y'all we're out of here that's that's all it takes to cancel a bowl game 90 minutes of lightning delays. And they're like, you know, maybe Boston College,

Boise State doesn't have to happen. Thanks for flying. Thanks for flying Idaho. At least Boston and Boise aren't like two of the absolute furthest flung teams. You could have brought to Dallas for the purposes of the game. Bye. We out. By the way, Boston College, as of this recording, still on the plane.

They were still on the plane doing. karaoke to keep themselves amused because they were stuck on the plane and they weren't going anywhere. Because they're a gritty fucking bunch of plane riders. Wow. I like that this game

the weather forecast in Dallas, it was like Thor fucking dropped the hammer on the city of Dallas. You know, it was like why couldn't they just play the game at like seven? Well, because the heavens were hammering Dallas with with bolts of justice.

over and over and over for the abomination they wrought which is a rematch of the MPC computers bowl hey listen they got a nice Cavenders there but they could get themselves a reasonably priced pair of boots there's you know there's there's consolations to be had here

right? Yeah finally the danger that someone might outspend the residents of this phone call at a Taco Cabana drive-thru almost impossible almost impossible but you know what

never forget for those of you who are new that I have been contacted by American Express out of concern for the amount of money I was trying to spend at a taco cabana drug this is what this is what greatness looks like yeah we uh we have a question from a listener

oh do we a young man by the name of Ryan Nanny who is sitting in with us tonight as we record Ryan sitting in for Brian Floyd on this call. Floyd is here as well. Oh, sorry.

Sorry, Brian. I didn't see you there. Ryan is under the weather tonight. Again, he pooped the bed again. And he would like to know if Boise State and Boston college players still get their bowl swag despite not actually finishing the drill, not completing the full football game. And if so, is that the perfect crime? Let's look up real quick.

What were the bowl gifts for this? False. The perfect crime is stabbing someone to death with an icicle. That's also a bowl gift for the Fast Lane Bowl, which, you know, Paul Johnson might have lost his last game there, but he did win that. Oh, wow. So the gift suite for the first responder bowl, well, first of all, it includes gift suite, which, again, hey, you don't got to tell the government what you're getting, what you're giving these kids. It could be anything. Who knows? 3D gun printer? Who knows? Uh, further along, along that theme is an RFID blocking wallet. Again, the government does not need to know what's in your, what's in your pants. This is the, am I being detained ball?

This is. Uh, and finally, the, uh, a football described as big game football. What game? I ain't got to tell you. I don't know you. Is this the Jade Helm bowl I've longed for all these years? I think it is. Did I finally get it?

And just like Jade Helm, it never happened? It's also, it's a football game that's in support of the troops, but they're not actually troops. Can I interrupt banter about bulls to introduce more banter about bulls? Do I have permission from everyone here, including the Monday Night Raw Commissioner off camera, sending in messages, Ryan? We've received on the big red phone by the ring. Better answer at Triple H. You got to go to me. to toe with Dean Ambrose.

That's why you're going one-on-one with Taker. Yep, we've been granted permission to land this plane, and that's why I am going to introduce our preview for the Outback Bowl. This 40 for 40 is brought to you by not cheese. It's because they only host lame bowl games like Cal TCU, big old shovel full of football vomit that you're probably several days removed from watching, but still remember the aftertaste. Cheez-its.

They don't sponsor us, so fuck them. This is the Outback Bowl. Remember, the Outback Bowl, the first bowl to outright purchase the sponsorship so that you had to say the name of the sponsor in naming the event used to be the Hall of Fame Bowl. But then a Wiley exec decided to change it to the Outback Bowl because why not eliminate identity altogether? It's been several years since I had that pang of we are in the wrong industry. when listening to the tale of a bowl exec, and I've already forgotten that one dude's

name who was the source of so much scandal running around in his yellow blazer, but his successor is clearly the Outback Bulls CEO. Was that the Fiesta Man? Yeah, that was the head of the Fiesta Bowl who, if you'll remember, he went to he went to real jail, Tina Faye.

Junker. John Junker. Thank you, Ryan. John Junker. How could I remember? probably because his name sounds made up as hell yeah john john junker got sent to the scrapyard himself for uh he did eight months man that's a hell of a fiesta bro you know every fiesta's got a cleanup every fiesta has to end with a legal siesta

yeah man he uh he was making he was making six hundred seventy three thousand dollars in 2010 you know it was just you know buying fine wines and taking people to you know

pebble beach on the company time when was his uh let's see he was sentenced Ryan does point out that he had to go without golf for eight months

and yeah that's a particular kind of hell for a bowl executive I could feel the clubs in my hand but they can't feel me yeah the Washington Post

had a magnificent something on the Outback Bowl and how it's run. The Outback Bowl being a registered non-profit that is, as the Washington Post pitifully points it, points out, a second-tier bowl with third-tier SEC and Big Ten teams. Yeah. As a Florida fan, you know, I'm not saying it's not accurate. I'm just saying you didn't have to go there. A game that always pairs kind of Mississippi State and kind of Michigan State. Yeah. Jim McVeigh was the head. He's the guy who's sort of turned the Outback Bowl into this. You got paid a million dollars last year to run the Outback Bowl and went pressed for a description of the intense schedule that you have to keep for this.

It was basically someone on the committee said, well, he's got to go to Chicago and talk to people. You know, he has to maintain those relationships. Oh, so they has to talk to me. Yeah, we have over 25 events. Let's check your calendar. 25 events over the course of a calendar year. That's one every other week. That sounds airtight to me. How do you keep the pace? Yeah.

And it's also the least charitable of these nonprofits. So, in other words, I bring you Tampa. And what better tribute to the stingiest bowl than to have Mississippi State and Iowa, the two teams that will give you the least football, the least amount of football you'll get in a bowl game. Ryan, doesn't this dude have the exact same job as Kirk Farrant's, an assertion I cannot dispute. I think that they're a cooperative kind of organism.

One creates the Outback Bowl and the other creates the thing that goes in the Outback Bowl, right? I mean, shows up in public about 20 times a year and then finishes up in Tampa. That's Kirk Farrantz. A million dollars They had to run the Outback Bull That's amazing It's a civic community event With many charitable arms

I'm assuming I'm assuming that's the defense of all this So yeah You get Mississippi State Iowa I'm just going to place a bet on the over under On this game terms of total length It feels like a I'm going to say it's three hours, 15 minutes

oh they'll get this thing done in like 62 minutes 62 is this a greggmatic special yeah we're gonna we're gonna breeze through this thing you'll be you'll be out of here on new year's day it'll take you longer to wait in line it out back Ryan is here offering to run the bowl for

$85,000 a year yeah but can you golf can you go to Chicago is that a skill you have I wouldn't discount Ryan's ability to worm his way into the highest levels of the Outback Bowl. He's already wormed his way into the Outback Union suit. Yeah, we might have ruined that with his association here. But you know what?

He probably already bugged that suit. Plausible deniability. He's technically not speaking on this podcast. I mean, like, I left that due to their disgraceful treatment of the Outback Bowl's charitable activities. We're going to get sued by Outback Bowl. CEO Ryan Haney. Mississippi State, by the way, 112th in passing. I only bring this up to tell you what Iowa's passing was nationally.

Superior, yeah, I actually didn't have a bad year passing the ball. Not at all. Like they were fine. They're 69th nationally. Yeah. In passing yards. Iowa, this being, I think they're 27th. I know the Outback Bowl has only been around for so long,

but I'm pretty sure this is Iowa's 27th trip to Tampa. They officially tie Michigan in all-time Outback appearances. With a win, they would both be perfect three-and-three. Yeah, did Iowa have a three-game losing streak in the middle of the season? Boy, howdy, did they? Big old, big old honking three-game losing streak, but only to finish strong against Illinois. and Nebraska

they were the ones who delivered that awful homecoming hammering to Illinois the one where everyone said surely Lovie Smith must be fired and then it was extended shortly after Ryan clarifies the the Blumen Onion suit

it's more of a venom type thing where we're not I think we're not sure whether he controls the suit or otherwise would Blumen Onion be the ideal boyfriend I mean let's see large

it's true silent it's not really going to say much right going to shorten your lifespan that's definitely you know it's definitely being in a long term relationship with a man but clearly but clearly well equipped in the endurance department shows up quickly and warm

fresh and hot brings his own sauce I mean it's December 26 I'd go with warm It's onion cuffing season. Oh, goodness. By the way, another thing to just encourage the fact that this is going to be stingy, Iowa only allowed 17 points a game. And you know who allowed less? The number one scoring defense in the nation, Mississippi State.

So I'm just going to take those averages. It's going to be 1712, y'all. That's going to be Mississippi State's walking with this thing. Should you watch it? Absolutely. not. Not for a moment. Let's see what the

do do do the over under is 43. Buddy, that's a lot. That seems high to me. Yeah,

I do have the... I don't know. Those Iowa players might have been relaxing at the beach and by the beach, I mean, the causeway.

No problem. Damn, I got this under at 45. Buddy, we're going outback even if they make make us pay take it and run because scarcity scarcity is going to be the rule here this is this is by the way if this is iowa's one trip to the beach for the year it's about right that's should be an iowa person wow the ocean it's like a big warm puddle filled with beer cans

yep Tampa bay they're actually one of the bowl activities is actually taking the iowa team to outback and putting them under the heat lamps on the steam table to let them get a base town. We're here to see, that's a charitable activity provided by the Outback Bowl. We do this for free for these poor vitamin D malnourished kids. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, don't watch this.

It's not going to be. It'll only be good in that sense of where we're all watching it going, taste it. It's bad. You have to taste this. How was everyone's Christmas? by the way, on a more pleasant note, hopefully. Mine was great. Knives and hair care products.

My family knows me very well. That's perfect. When I got a new drill, continuing my march towards daddom. Also, for getting your hair. Yeah, you're going to beat me to proper daddum. Ryan lost his voice and everyone in his house is sick, which was, that was my Christmas last year. I'm a little concerned at this point because no one in my house has come down.

with like creeping midwinter flu and I just keep I it's like I keep glimpsing death around corners but I have not yet felt it's icy fingers grip my sinuses and I'm just kind of waiting I didn't think I was sick and then all of a sudden I couldn't keep my eyes open and my entire head felt like it was in a it was in a decompression chamber okay maybe I am getting sick because I did that today like I took an accidental two and a half hour nap from like four to seven and I woke up and my parents found this unremarkable like just went about their evening because you know having birth and and raised me I guess they're used to seeing me sleeping in places but I woke up you know convinced that I had time traveled I'm learning this though

you can't rely on people who are near retirement age or past it to tell you what's normal yeah because if you just pass out for two or two and a half hours they're like oh perfectly normal that's too I'm like man I feel like I should go to bed at like 830 and they're like no sensible yeah they're like No, no, no, I was panicking. And they're like, no, we put a blanket on your feet. You look fine. I'm like, what day is it?

What year is it? I wasn't. Yeah, it's like when I was drinking in the woods with a recently retired Paul Johnson. Man, he thinks a lot of stuff is normal. These are visions from the future that you're speaking into reality. It's going to be our offseason profile or recently retired college football coach. Yeah, I got to go visit my friend Sleepy over at State Penn. you know what's he in there for

some bullshit he didn't do it I think it's time for our next one welcome to the citrus bowl 40 for 40 we'll give it as much time as it needs much like every other bowl we have discussed the citrus bowl this year is going to feature

number 14 Kentucky say it with me let every syllable sit on your tongue like a delicious andy's candy mint let it dissolve let it get into your system Kentucky number 14 when somebody asks you

what happened in 2018 number 14 Kentucky and the citrus bowl happened that's right Kentucky will be playing Penn State and one of the more hapless bowls

I know the New Year's Day bowls are supposed to be showcase bowls 2018 kind of top heavy in terms of value you're not really getting a whole lot out of this I'll be honest It's going to kind of be a slap fest between one team that cannot score and the other team that sort of just does everything at random in Penn State. Yeah, Penn State is joining Georgia and Florida in most all-time Citrus appearances.

A dubious honor, if ever there was one. Kentucky is, so this used to be a very lower-tier bowl game. Eastern Kentucky has been here before Western Kentucky has been here before beat the shit out of the Coast Guard but Kentucky itself has never been here before So they're the last Kentucky to get here? They are, yes Louisville has been here before

Oh man Kentucky you got scurvy You're the last to get some citrus in you That's rough man That's rough That's so bad Let me give you let me give you the amazing

stats about Kentucky is my favorite thing about them when facing when facing non-power-five teams Kentucky scores over 30 points every single time every single time Central Michigan

bam 35 on you early year they played Murray State 48 they played Louisville boom 56 don't don't tell me there this year they lost that they're not a power five

Not a group of five. They're FCS. We demoted them. Don't put that on us. Yeah, don't. No, you don't. That's some NAA-A-A trash. Yeah, it's got Patrino on it.

Do you get a Patrino off something? You're going to need some industrial cleanser. Only Patrino, we acknowledge, is Paul. Here's what they scored. Here's what they scored. Paul. Taggers. This is leading up to a cell phone,

and I'm just going to lead it in here. Most points they scored was against Mississippi State. Somehow, that's perfect Mississippi State and Kentucky logic. That who burns Mississippi State for 28 hot points? That's right, Kentucky, who then went on to put up a whole bunch of teenagers. 14, 14, 15, 17. One elementary school, we got a 7 against Tennessee. Damn. And a 24-7 lost to Tennessee. How did this team get to the citrus fall? How am I catching strays on a year when my team had. even in a game. Because you know

the second most points that No. The second most points they scored in Citrus Bowl victory. Florida. Stop that. I don't know how they got through the year, Ma.

Back in your goddamn crate. I don't know how Kentucky got here. I don't know how any of this happened. But damn it, no one's going to take it away from the last Kentucky through the door. Into the bar we call the Citrus Bowl. But damn it, they're here

And they have to play Penn State Did anyone pay attention to Penn State after like week four? Whenever the game against Ohio State was, that was great But after that, no, didn't feel like there's any reason to At all? Like, it was just like, We just won't watch anything they do. Let's see, let's review their schedule right quick.

I don't think, I don't think, I don't think I actually mean this sincerely because this is a good question. Okay, App State, that was awesome. App State dragged Penn State to overtime. Again, first, concerns. They're showing. Allegedly beat the shit out of pit. That didn't happen.

Ohio State was week five. They lost one point. Every time they play, someone suffers horrifically. Oh, they lost to Michigan State. That was also a tragic stunner. Got the shit kicked out of them by Michigan. and yeah, that was it. That was it.

Yeah, that's, you lost 47 to Michigan, 42, 7 to Michigan, which, how on earth, this is the styles make fights thing. If I told you that losing that badly to Michigan would get you that close to Ohio State and then much what Michigan did against Ohio State, the sport makes no sense. Done. There is no rule to be drawn between those three results, none. Other than that Kentucky could beat Benzeman. state worse than Ohio State did.

Do you kind of hope Kentucky just phones this in real hard and enjoys the hell out of it? Like, when are we getting back to this shit, boys? Yes, because I have under 48. Don't worry. I'm realizing I played a lot of unders in Big Ten bowl games. I wonder why that was. I just somehow feel like any game with a Kentucky in it has the restrictor plate firmly bolted over the intake of this engine, right?

There's going to be, this is the weighted vest. That's how Kentucky gets everyone in shape. Put it on, run hard. After that, it'd be like, whew, man, it was going so slow, but it was so stressful. On the upside, NFL fans tune into this one because you'll get to see a very special player named Josh Allen showing out for you. Could be a top 10 draft pick. Could be worthy of a top 10 draft pick. Josh Allen is his name.

He plays linebacker for Kentucky. I believe he'd be the first player with that name to go in the top 10 of the draft. and deserve it. Yeah, yeah. No other names are your mind. Here. IMO. Next.

Welcome to the shutdown full cast. 40 for 40 for the Fiesta Bowl. Remember the Fiesta Bowl. As previously discussed, the only bowl game I know of where their president had to do eight months in the pen. for messing with the books. So that's how you know it's going to be good. The other reason I know how it's going to be good,

it features LSU number 11 versus UCF number eight. One team cannot score. The other team can't stop scoring and has an extreme inferiority complex. Well, I think that applies to both, right? Does it? Does it? I mean, I mean, how... Look how they talk about Nick Saving.

This is the thing. How can LSU have an inferiority complex when they burn that much money in terms of talent? Like, think about the amount, like, if I told you, if I stacked up all of the, like, blue-chip talent and all the draft picks that they have squandered in the name of scoring zero points, like, LSU hasn't scored a touch-down against Alabama since 2003. I'm just going to pull that number out. I'm not going to check it. it feels right. That's how I know it's true.

So that would mean that was Nick Saban scored it against Alabama. That's right. That's right. It takes Nick Saban to score. How sad is that? Damn, that is sad. Yeah, how sad is that shit? Think about it, y'all. If I just went ahead and told you, by the way,

like, the number of Blue Chip recruits that LSU has had, 163 since 2007. 163. That's more than Oklahoma. That's more than Auburn. That's more than a lot of teams who have won national titles since then, since Les Miles miracle year of 2007. There's only been like three teams of one national title since then. That's right. The other one's Alabama has like way more talent. Alabama is one nine. It's not even funny. You know. Then Oregon's Oregon 1-1 and Alabama-19, right? That is correct. That is correct. And nobody like, The only team that squandered almost as much talent is Texas.

Why am I mentioned all this squandering talent? Because UCF is waiting right there. And they don't squander shit. No. UCF came up hard. They crawled through a pipe full of sewage to get here. They, they, because you know what? Nobody will face them.

LSU won't face them. Let's see if they should. show up. That's my hot take. That's true. There are no Power 5 teams that will agree to any sort of a regular season scheduling arrangement with UCF. None. None whatsoever. Don't look it up.

No. It can't happen. No. It's never happened. Last year Auburn didn't even show up. It's like half true. I'm not totally lying there. I do like that when UCF wins and claims it's second straight national

title, just the fatigue, I feel like, I feel like everyone who spent the entire last 12 months laughing at UCF for this, how much, how much matter can you get about it this time? You know, it's just going to sort of be like, fine, there they go again. And at that moment, UCF is truly won. They tuckered you out like a, like when a five-year-old, you know, just, just wears you down with why questions for you finally just i don't i just put on youtube i don't care i was about to make the point that you know ucf is going without the starting quarterback who held much of last season's undefeated campaign and much of this season's undefeated campaign mackenzie nilton suffered a horrendous leg injury late in the season i then remember that lSU is the other team

that doesn't know good point doesn't really matter does it It's like, wow, y'all don't have a quarterback with any kind of established record. And then there's LSU. Hang on now. Joe Burroughs undefeated in games in which he completes 55% or fewer, I think. Joe T. Brough. T. Bro. Jim T. Bro.

LSU is without, it's like two best players or something due to the NFL. So that even has a little bit. I believe, I believe, like, that's, that's, they have two, they're out two starters. Is that correct? Due to NFL concerns. Something like that. I feel like you can just copy and paste that exact sentence, though. That's, that's, in addition to, uh, in addition to, you know, Michigan, this is the best, Michigan, just to give you a little preview, the Peach Bowl, you know, missing four players.

So far, who are starters? It's still going to be in Florida. that's the joke hey that was our Peach Bowl preview too yeah yeah Ryan and or Holly did we have anything on the

what the fucking the Fiesta Bowl I'm sleepy oh Ryan Nanny is typing Stand by folks Stand by there's something The Royal Commissioner has sent an email The bulletin is coming across the wire

Brian, I can't want to do this for so long. He says, fuck it, no. There's your Fiesta Bowl preview. Fuck it, no. Fuck it, no. That's it. Also, by the way, cheating on their own bowl game, there is a pregame party sponsored by Cheez-Itzits.

You sluts. What's wrong with sluts? That's true. I should call them Cheez-its. The insult is enough. Then there is a Fiesta Bowl of gymnastics meet, which I really hope is an open. Open category.

So anyone can show up and try to do the pommel horse. So people from Orlando and Louisiana. Hey, Jim, get on up there. Try that. It'd be festive. Oh, God, what I wouldn't. If I just set up a pommel horse in the middle of the street in New Orleans, how long would it take for people to start taking shots at it?

I mean, you tell Louisiana fans, hey, come in here and play around on our bars. Oh, they got bars? Not the kind of bar I meant. A bar is a bar. Just watching, like, set up a full vault lane in the middle of the street somewhere and Lafayette and see how many people on like a Saturday night are like, Yeah, no, no, no. Give me a shot of that.

This may be our offseason, by the way. Just to do that. How did you fracture eight strangers' sternums? They did it by themselves. Their own free will. It's a free country. If you believe in freedom, you'll let this stupid thing happen. Perfect summation of a UCF LSU game, which LSU cannot win, and UCF really can't lose.

Next. Welcome to the shutdown full cast 40 for 40. Preview for the granddaddy of them all. The Rose Bowl. That's right. Bring up your bathtub, gin. An invite the hottest matchup of 1914. That'd be the Ohio State Buckeyes versus old huskies of Washington.

Hungry dogs on the prow for their first big Rose Bowl win since they were commandeered by the mighty Marcus Tuyasasopo himself. A trumpet's still going. He's not going to keep doing this. Oh, no, he's dead. He's dead. It's good. It's not really a Rose Bowl if one team doesn't have to hijack a train to get there, right?

We've got to go back to that tradition. Like Ohio State's just like They got to put together a whole GTA mission Just to get to Pasadena Just to get on Be like listen do you want to do it the loud way or the quiet way And you got like Michigan like We will decline a bid to the Rose Bowl

It's too expensive Yeah we will not do this because Yeah that's why you're not going It involves breaking several laws We would not do that Meanwhile Ohio State's like You know the real victim here is me Train Conductor

Washington will be traveling by Zeppelin I have a message from Ryan that may be out of date at this point because can't wait for Barry Alvarez to streak at this game I'm just going to assume that this is what Barry does in the off season I think Ryan was talking about the citrus bowl why would you say that why would you box dear sweet berry in like that no that's where I would like to picture Barry Alvarez streaking

surrounded by delicious juicy fruits That's called Thursday Barry's Barry's Hello The ultimate podcast sponsor Welcome to our podcast, the only podcast to sexually objectify Barry Alvarez Your promo code Berries at BerriesBerys.com

That's right, all proceeds go to Barry Alvarez Damn it, how does that happen every time? Making money coming and going. I know. Barry's a bank, man. This is a weird game. This is a profoundly weird game. Just aboundless weirdness surrounds this because, yeah, this is where Ohio State ended up.

Most years, that'd be pretty good, historically speaking. But this is not where I guess where Ohio State expected to end up. They're on the outside of the playoff picture looking in, as they should be. because, you know, you don't lose to Purdue by a thousand points in the middle of the season. And not have it come back to bite you in the ass. IMO. But hey, this is a fine consolation prize for Urban Meyer's last game. I said that with quotes.

It's Urban Myers' last game as a head coach. Because he's going to take the Notre Dame job in two years. Well, what's he going to do until then, though? Oh, well, surely he'll probably take time to reflect on the failures of this year. and grow and develop as a person and spend time with his family. That's certainly what I think he's here. But surely he'll disassociate from Ohio State University,

which suspended him four months ago for being a liar, right? You know, I think liar is a strong word. Maybe an alternate truther. Okay. Yeah. Well, surely he won't remain in like a position

of authority over students and or student athletes and coaches. Especially one, particularly not in a position that seems to carry with it an air of moral authority that would, gosh, wouldn't that provide him an interesting springboard to a coaching position that seems to carry with it, the necessity of moral authority? We have never told a joke on this podcast. Apparently, he's going to be an associate AD.

Well, yeah, while also teaching a class on leadership at the Ohio State University. On what? On what? on a on a on a on a on a on a on a on a on interesting how interesting uh Ohio state's a big 10 school so I'll just trust they know what they're doing doesn't make sense to my poor mind

you absolute trashies Ryan says that Urban Maya will be promoted to detective he certainly has the uh he's certainly familiar with loose cannons good god that's that's all true man we're all gonna laugh so hard when Zach Smith gets the Notre Dame job ahead of him Jesus don't say like they wouldn't hire him he's got exactly the attitude they want towards women my god um yeah so

Ryan says, Urban Meyer's forgotten more about crime than you'll ever learn, rookie. That's Rook. Excuse me. Which, uh, Urban Meyer, does he forget things? I don't, you know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. We're in the undependable position of somebody who might have occasional memory problems due to medication telling us he has memory problems. Or does he? Whoa. The undependable narrator. Ohio State is an avant-cariness. work of fiction. I was going to say, damn, why is he doing leadership? He should be on that

avant-garde fiction and cinema. Why is Ohio State playing in the postmodernist second person? Yeah, let me tell you about foreshadowing. About three months before you're going to quit, you should start talking about health problems you haven't mentioned. Yeah, at Ohio State, it's more like five shadowing. So, this leads to Washington, who, poor blameless Washington, just doing the thing they're supposed to do, when in the pack 12 in ugly fashion. Hideous.

Hidious, man. The good news is that this is going to happen. And it is one of the funniest outcomes of the season now that I see it coming. Jake Browning, Jake Browning is going to get to go against that Ohio State defense. He's going to look incredible. Like, a dude who at

times look like an Uncle Rico type peaked in high school guy who got three of the best managed seasons in the history of college football with a coach who has done everything he can to craft that attack to hide his weaknesses is going to get to go up against a Greg Shiano led defense. Can I tell you how big the brain imbalance is here on one side with Greg Shiano on one side and Chris Peterson on the other? Oh my God. I just want a moment in the game. Jake Browning has thrown his third 80-yard touchdown of the game.

Kirk Herb Street says, well, gosh, I just don't know what's gotten into Jake Browning. Looks like an immediate smash cut Greg Shiano's face. That's what I want. He's like chewing on a nail or something, just doing normal Greg Shiano shit.

Ryan says more like Jag Browning. Oh, bring him home. Mama's calling. Uh-huh. Come on. Yeah, that's it. That's it. just like young Blake Bordor is out there shooting holes in the Ohio State secondary. Greg Shiano's drinking rusty rainwater out of a gutter. More like Jake Teeling.

Wow. Nailed it. Proud of you. It'd be real funny if Washington won. I don't think they will. I thought the same thing about Minnesota beating Georgia Tech and Minnesota beat the shit out of Georgia Tech. I know. God, that'd be great, man. And like, can you imagine a...

It's not necessarily the best bowl season for departing coaches, be they beloved. or other way. It's not the best last season for a lot of things. Can you imagine the worst outcome for Ohio State and be like, well, surely, you know, we've put bull print mostly in the hands of Ryan Day, so it's going to be great. We've handed the program off well, and you lose 34 to 5. Whatever happens here is the total responsibility of Ryan Day and not anyone who is departing the staff. Actually, we meant the opposite. Urban did the whole thing. It was all him. It just falls off immediately in the ball game. You're like, we're back in the Rose Bowl. Ah, 4310.

Oh, God. J. Brin's like, actually, my head feels great. I think I'm going to stick around for a couple years until that Notre Dame job opens up. One last note. Talk about getting your daddy back. Do you want to talk, like,

one last note, do you think Irvin Myers sitting in an associate AD role isn't going to coach even though it's an NCAA violation? Not a chance of hell. He's going to recruit for sure. It's sweet that you said even though it's an CAA violation as though that has any fucking bearing.

Well, he traditionally observes rules and violations and tries very hard not to cross those boundaries, right? It depends. Yeah, it's not going to go out of his way to find out much information about them. That's all he needs to do. Next. Welcome. To the shutdown full cast 4440, this is going to be a podcast about the Sugar Bowl. This year's edition of the Sugar Bowl features number five, Georgia,

who definitely is two minutes behind Alabama in terms of quality in the SEC. Just have to mention that 118 minutes of leading Alabama, 120 minutes of game time. Guess when those last two minutes happened at the end of the game, about time. just like to put that if you lose your one shot getting into the playoff guess where you get to go that's right good boys and girls get to go to new orleans which is definitely not purgatory itself it's a really fun purgatory they're going to be playing number 15 Texas from the big 12 why is it why when big 12 teams end up in the sugar ball like half the time it's like oh no we just sort of Pull them off a pile.

Here we go. The Big 12 title game, it has a new stipulation that the loser of the title game gets the sugar bowl bid. Yeah. If the winner is in the playoff, which could lead to some weird situations. Like if, say West Virginia had, you know, ended up like 13th or something, we'd still be stuck with Texas. Do the people who used to make World War I treaties and, like, alliance treaties pre-World War I, do they do all the Big 12's agreements, right? Yeah, whichever Kaiser that was, the German, whoever, the one who rigged the entire fucking time bomb in Europe, like, there's no way all these things could blow up at once. If they do, we'd all die.

No one would make that decision. What catastrophe. That was Big 12 condition. What catastrophe attorney are they employing who's doing things like, well, let's see, if TCU goes under 500, then I have to go put two bullets in the next kid I meet named Todd on the street. And you know how the Big 12th's big solution to conference reallignment, their big innovation was, hey, hey guys, if anybody leaves, we get to keep all their money. So, like, it's this huge, like, suicide pact that's going to, that's what's going to bring stability. If anybody leaves, we get to eat their body. They're not, we all love each other.

That's why we're staying together. They're not a-one eats each other. They're not a conference. They're a tauntine. it's just one big standoff everyone's pointing a gun at each other in Texas Texas is taking a nap Texas is fine

I'm gonna live to 120 I don't know what you guys do Ryan points out Iowa State's vast fortune is on the line here so much clean water bury me with my money it's water it's the gold of the 23rd century bear me in an aquifer

That's right You'll need a back to tank Where you're going and where are you going to get it Ames Good job Biggs Oh it's the stupidest conference But it does lead

It does lead to the extremely appealing Matchup to me personally Of Georgia versus Texas Because again Georgia really can't win this game Can they? They really can't They can win it.

Oh, yeah, they can have more points than Texas. But there really won't be a satisfying enough margin short of actual murder to make... I mean, say they win by 50 points. Then guess what? Your number two behind Alabama. Yeah, you're still two minutes behind Alabama. That's still where you are. That's it.

That's what Georgia time is. It's two minutes behind Alabama. I know. It's Eastern Time. Looks like the recruiting rankings. Looks like the scoenix. scoreboard. Yeah, that's how it's going to work y'all. It's like the education rankings flipped upside down. Meanwhile, Texas, man, Texas just gets to keep it close. They'll stick it to

everyone over this, right? Yeah, you said we weren't supposed to hang with the SEC. Look at us. We only lost by nine. Yeah, they beat Missouri last year. That's an SEC team in case anyone forgets. It's an SEC team. Yeah, that's, you know what? I mean, yeah, that's the only team in the SEC I'm aware of who has any sort of connections to Texas. They recruit here.

I don't know any other SEC teams in Texas. Can't think of one. Yeah, wouldn't be thinking of one right now. They're strong soldierly shoulders, beautiful cut of their jawline in a uniform, sitting astride a horse sunset on the Texas prairie. those white khakis Not thinking about you

Don't miss you Ryan is disconnected Folks We are now The mods are asleep That's right So now post your memes I'm recording

Ryan is back Ryan is back So the mod is back with us So everyone hold your memes Mod is back Do not put memes do not post memes cease long erotic fantasy

send all memes to at celebrity hot tub I don't care what they're of just send them your best meme so yeah that's Texas really is in a delightful position in this ball game and that they can this is house money man you know you can't really

and also you know Tom Herman you're not getting rid of them right it's not yeah you're probably not going to fire Tom Herman. No. No, you're stuck with him, man, for at least another year. Eventually, this is what's going to happen. You'll have the Dan Snyder problem where eventually people are going to look at the ownership because it's not like Texas isn't hiring good coaches. Nope. Somehow you just keep burning talent. How does that happen? Just a thought.

so let's see yeah that's uh that's the uh that's the last bowl it's pretty great setup we got where the playoff is three full days before bowl season ends i guess it's better than it used to be where at least there's sort of a buildup to the bigger games at least you end with two top 15 teams like we used to have the damn mobile bowl remember this a few years ago It would be, that was the last one for the title game. I always enjoyed, I always enjoyed that because it would be large stadiums and big crowds and things happening. And then it would be an erector set stadium somewhere on the outskirts of Mobile with ladies in weird dresses and two teams playing in the GMAC bowl. Yeah, I remember we had very, very early on when we were building SVNation.com editorial.

This is like almost a decade ago. I remember there was a casual football fan who was involved in one meeting. We were talking about, you know, we should do a map or a roadmap or timeline or something, like building toward the title game. And they're like, okay, so then it gets more and more important. It goes to the Rose Bowl and that's a sugar bowl. That's a big day. And then, okay, so then it goes to the Mobile game and that's like the second biggest one.

Oh, God. And we had to explain the Go Daddy Bowl was not actually like the Anthemoth. Yeah, we're like, no, the Go Daddy Bowl. That's more of a pre-post appetizer. It's kind of like the Pepto-Bismol, I guess. Ryan brings up the International Bowl. When was that? Oh, that's the long May at rest,

the International Bowl that took place in Toronto. Yeah, but I'm in the... Oh, yeah, that was a mid-January, as late as January 6th in the year 2007. and USF, eternal international bowl champs, of course. USF had to go. That was actually money laundering. That's what that was.

That was Canadian retirees in Florida, needing someone to, you know, get crash across the border in a, you know, expedient fashion. And what better way to do that than to ask Jim Levitt to do it? Ryan also says we should have a May ball game. What if we broke up FBS into just, did, like, the group of five season started in January? Who says no? Why would that be a bad idea?

Yeah, but which... Like, they're not eligible for the playoff anyway, so... What company do you want sponsoring a bowl game and where is it? If we're going to have a bowl game in, like, May? Well, the Big Ten of filing it, Boles, right? I think you finally put them up north.

So, if... If you want games up north, guess you're dropping down. Sorry. can I get like I think that's where we start to get like sponsors that are private prison companies right that's well we're going back to those yeah again again that's where you get FAU involved in things private prison company bowl game in I'm just going to throw this out here Batesville Arkansas if you want the real bad if you want the real bad boy mowers bowl have it in the bad boy mowers factory in Batesville, Arkansas. The real bad boy mowers bowl? The real bad, no, no, no. The bad man mowers bowl.

That's it. That's where we get. The worst man mowers bowl. What sketchy hotel chain can we get to, like, or the American Deli Bowl? That's what it will be. Can there just be a bowl sponsored by a drug? Just like an illegal drug? Yeah, I was going to say, you don't mean like a prescription drug.

You mean like a drug drug, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Like the PCP bowl. Oh, yeah, that'd be a good one. In Fresno. That's Minnesota Fresno every year. Why? Why not?

The team, instead of doing the like, how many chicken wings can you eat thing. It's like, how many trucks can you bench press? How many cops can you fight? I set a Fresno PCP poll record by fighting 37 officers myself with these hands that God gave me and with the power of PCP coursing through my body. Go jackets!

They're so proud of these young men to come to the great town of Fresno and contribute to the community by giving the entire police department full afternoon of exercise and combat training. Bowl gifts, these hands. Ha ha ha.