Shutdown Fullcast - 40 FOR 40: The 2025 Pop-Tarts Bowl

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

WWWWWWWWELCOME to the return of 40 For 40, our bowl preview series where every bowl game gets its own episode and each episode is exactly as long as that game deserves.Who decides what “deserves” means? We do! Thank you for askingNow through December 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to Trans Ohio. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase BRAND-NEW BLUE SHARKS GEAR #EXCLUSIVEThis episode was produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme 40 For 40 intro arranged and performed by Russell PowellFullcast theme 40 For 40 outro arranged and performed by MattDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz and his new show Podcasterino

Welcome to the Pop-Tarts bowl Wolves of Pop-Tarts. Are those, are the Pop-Tarts the wolves or are the wolves hunting the pop-darts? The wolves defend the Pop-Tarts until the time. when they are ready to be murdered. Brian, you know how they say inside of you there are two wolves?

That's why there's two Pop-Tarts in every sleeve. To feed the wolves, gotcha. You even going to hand one to your wolf. This is the ghastly secret of the Pop-Tarts Bowl is that we're not going to lower the others into the toaster. That one's lucky. The other ones are going to be devoured by wolves. Ripped apart live in front of children.

They're going to keep smiling. It's okay. We want this. Just imagine one of those plush mascots and they're tugging on it here. It's got so many tendons. Oh, my God. Thank you. Blazer-clad, like orange blazer-clad bullwraps running around, like just chasing each individual wolf.

Fedris, put it down. Spit that out. Spit that out right now. This is what I hoped would happen. Thank you. Remus, that's chocolate. You can't have that. The announcer being like, red and tooth and claw, nature takes another bite from its endless bounty.

Oh, is Sean McDonough? This is wonderful. Sean McDonny looking at that and being like well I don't know what they expected with the wolves

that's what they do Pop Tarts Bowl announcing crew is two wolves too hungry hungry wolves listen two hungry wolves is what I saw

okay it's it's Mark Jones and Roddy Jones and they are a bit more stentorian that's a great group that's a good that's a good but I feel like they'd be up for it

if they got some encouragement It would be like, I should be tired of Mark Jones working in $10 words into broadcast. And I never am. I just never. $10 words and 10 year old rap songs. Like, this is a great fit. He has a lane. He has picked a specific lane and he has, he is in it.

Masticating each Pop-Tart with Lupine ferocity. There we go. So as for the. The confusing confection. The very serious bowl preview. You know, They say their mother's been absent ever since they founded Rome. So the things we've already said about this game include Brinkie and Kalani Sataki are perfect meathead bromance soulmates bonded by their love of strawberry breakfast pastries.

Their teams in turn are perfect meathead thump machines with quarterbacks who believe they're fullbacks. Notre Dame also additionally should have played in this game because if BYU wins, BYU's going to end up with 100% of the damn that team should have been in the playoff street cred. We have also pointed out for several years that this game matters for real in and of itself because it goes mega viral in a way that crosses over to normal people, often beyond even the Rose Bowl or title game itself. What we haven't said yet on this show is this. In year one, the Pop-Tarts Bowl killed one Pop-Tart.

In year two, it killed one of two Pop-Tarts. In year three, it will kill three Pop-Tarts, either Team Sprinkles or Team Swarles. From one to two to six Pop-Tarts at risk. of death. We doubled, then we tripled. That mean next, we will quadruple. 24 Pop-Tarts on the brink of death next year. 24 times 5 is then 120. 120 times 6 is then 720. Keep it going. Four years from now, there will be 5,040 Pop-Tart lives on the line in the Pop-Tarts bowl. Yay, yay! 40, 320 the year after that. In the year 2030, there will be 3602. 2,000 Pop-Tarts on the brink of death greater than the population of Orlando.

A year after that, 3 million greater than the population of Metro Orlando. A year after that, 33 million more populous than Florida. A year after that, more Pop-Tarts craving death in the entire population of America. In 2034's Pop-Tarts Bowl, there will be 5 billion Pop-Tarts begging to be slaughtered. In 2035, $70 billion. In 2036, we cross a trillion pop tarts whose lives are on the line when TCU plays NC State. Within a few years after that, my calculator is doing things I'd need a Georgia Tech fan to explain. Fortunately, they are here this year in the Pop-Tarts bowl.

He's hungry, ain't he? Yeah, feed him. Let the Big Dog hunt. Wouldn't 70 million pop-tarts satiate Galactus at least for a bit? Not for one moment, Ryan. For a few days. Yeah, for a few days. Gallon of Taz, hunger knows no bounds.

Andrew Pascal, sound off in the comments. Throw these in the sun, get them nice and melty. That's that silver surfer pulling up the planet and being like, this bitch hungry. How many y'all got? Hey, how many y'all got? What color is the wrapper around Pop-Tarts? Silver.

Yes. What's the shape like? A surfboard. Sort of. The middle part of a surfboard. A bad boogie board. The silver boogie board. Welcome to bad boogie boards mowers.

It's lakebound silver surfer. Oh my God. We brought in the fucking, oh no, it rained in the backyard. Let the kids play in the ditch silver surfer. Hey, man, it's me, Silver Tuber. I need a boat to get around, but I'm pretty good time. We wanted the Harold. We got some guy named Harold.

This is the second time this postseason that we're. We have invented a foil for freshwater aquaman. A foil, that's what goes around a Pop-Tart. That's right. We're making a dork universe. That's, uh, hey, hey, listen, man,

Galactus will be there in a minute. He's got to blow into the inner lock on his massive little machine here, you know, because, you know, he'll be in good company in Orlando. I tell you what. It is especially offensive that Notre Dame decided like,

yes, it's time to announce that we're doing a home and home with BYU, right after they were like, will not play BYU in this book absolutely not not important you know when Galactus is too drunk to drive um that is of course when Galactus says better stop that vehicle like eight listeners got that i stand with you that's good yeah uh i am looking forward to this bowl game which is like i like all bowl games there are very few i look forward to i look forward to this bowl game and to the smashiness of this bowl game, especially because we do have a new bromance between the two most

thick-necked coaches available, Kalani Sataki, and Brent Key. I also like that the, um, these two teams both have candy sprinkles on their helmets. And I saw a couple Notre Dame fans where you're like, can you imagine us deigning to, to sully our helmets like the, I'm like, dog, I've seen some of y'all's alternate helmets. You will put garbage on your helmets. I've seen y'all do way worse shit. You put fucking, dude, your Yankees garbage on your uniforms.

Notre Dame, do you want to talk about embarrassing things you've done in Florida in postseason football? Because we can have that conversation. We'd love to. They're not too good for this. I mean, you're not here, so I guess you think you are.

You know, they're so pissed about this, too. They're like, we're not going to regret this, man. We said this, like, for a couple weeks now. They're going to end up regretting not playing in this fucking game. When they're 15 practices, behind sure that and when like BYU is America's hero or fucking number 19 George's tech people are like damn they should have let that team in the play off along with

Duke fuck it that's right hey listen Duke needs to show up and see if they'll just play like a second part right just like yeah you want to play another game Brent Keel will be like soon up boys it's it's a it's a toaster shirdle school I'm sorry it's Oh, my, that is mean. Cruel. Why are you like this? Why do you think they play Northwestern all the time? Those are two toaster to last schools.

Why do you put Duke in there with Northwestern? Just because they produce a such a high volume of war criminal. Just they're exactly the same. Just because Stephen Miller is who he is. That's all my precious baby Duke football. Just because they're Northwestern without a lake. Damn, David Cutcliffe radicalized you.

It's not there anymore. obviously he left he went from day okay they went from cutcliffe to elko to manny when was i supposed to fall out of love with this program holly it's not your fault i know it's not your fault they died me this color it's not your fault spencer can you give us a little podcast music please podcast business what's a business podcast business it's a business pop card helmets yeah they've got sprinkles on a madler they'll do even though they're gaudy and cold and i believe

yes if you if you're wondering to yourself hey what would Notre Dame Pop-Tart uniforms apparel look like guess what you can do and no one can stop you because art is still free in this country you go to home field apparel you can purchase Notre Dame material you can put sprinkles all over that shit if you want to yeah school can't stop you what would they possibly do you can create your own

pop tarts universe you can put any school in the pop tarts bowl if you want to all you got to do is go to home field buy that school's sweatshirt t-shirt long sleeve sweatpants hat whatever and just put some put some frosting and sprinkles on oh look you're in the pop tarts bowl now you control reality the rest of the society doesn't oh nondon doesn't want to play yes now you've got nordame who do you want to have nondon play in the pop tarts bowl uh okay miami they're playing miami again here they are in the pop tarts bowl how'd that happen i thought miami want a playoff game Nope. I say they're both getting sprinkles and frosting all over them. And who made it possible? Homefield apparel.

Who doesn't sell frosting or sprinkles? You will have to get those things separately, just to be clear. Homefield apparel.com.