Shutdown Fullcast - A Detective So Horny...That He Must Die

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

- This show title is not about Jerry Jones but we do talk about Jerry Jones - Surprisingly normal assessment of a college football personnel move (alarming, we know) - Ryan reveals a recent moment of failure to be a true Eagles fan - Holly Anderson plays the role of Spencer Hall - The Super Bowl: Mount Healthy vs. Scorpion Bay - Important new business idea for cat owners that you can't steal from us- This week's theme song arranged and performed by Todd Kitchen- Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com - Check out Jason's free newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/ - Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/ - Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

So I just went to ESPN's college football scoreboard page, almost out of habit. Part of my brain was like, oh, it's going to be time to look at the schedule soon. But, A, this season kind of ended in this weird, like, anaclymactic kind of way, where it was, like, so extended that it felt, I guess it felt like it was never going to end. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels like this college football season just kind of. trailed off rather than crescendoing. It really, no, it did kind of trail off. And I think there's just, when you off gas that much momentum at the end of the season

with that huge break between even the semi-final and the final, there's no way to maintain that kind of momentum or interest. Well, it's like before, you know, it was, the title game was, you know, the 7th or the 10th or whatever and there have been big breaks but i don't know if it was the extra week um pushed it further too far into the NFL playoffs uh i don't know it's it's very anyway i'm i'm uh now on ESPN's thing is the next week's or quote fingers next week's schedule which reveals uh serper the the first friday night game of the year is uh kansas state at wake forest so you want to kick it

Maybe we should play... Hang on, I can't believe I have to ask this because Wake Forest is a Power 5 school. Is it in Winston-Salem? Yes. I think that was a legitimate question. Wake Forest, taking by games, just to keep it moving. With all due respect to Kennesaw State,

who is the, you know, a premier football program, but still... We got like $100 if you need it. Jason, I think the jarring thing was all the buy seeds losing. I think that was... Yeah. I think we're so used to, like, we have this momentum. And, like, the 14 playoff didn't, like, make us stretch our brains this month, but, like, so much of college football is directed towards, like, here's who you must think of as the top

teams, and the top four teams specifically. And then to immediately hit that, and even in good games, be like, nope, they're all gone. Fuck them. They're all out of here completely. I think was very disorienting because it made like, oh cool, Oregon had this awesome season, throw it away, and not even in a lost in the national championship way, but like didn't even play one of the top four seeds, lost to a perfectly good Ohio State team. I think it like, that's what was disorienting, to me at least personally. It's probably a part of it. Ohio State in general, just like, you know, the perfect champion for a season this bizarre is a team that lost two games and that we all gave up on two months ago.

It's like, in a way, when they flipped the switch, it was like, oh, okay, they're just going to win, right? It was like halfway through their first playoff game. It was just like, ah, all right, there's the champ. And then from there, which it's easy to say that in hindsight, but I don't know, maybe the title game, it felt like, okay, Notre Dame's going to give it a good effort, but, and then. Let me, let me.

But it's different from previous mismatched title games. We didn't have this feeling in previous championship laws. Let me put this out there just for everyone who's going to jump on it. Obviously, we're saying this because there was no SEC team in the national championship. That's correct. That's right. How could it even be real? I've been called an SEC Homer so many times based on. So sure, to add this to the pile.

If LSU had been there, they would have stopped this. That's exactly what I'm saying. I do not care to acknowledge this season because Kentucky didn't win at all. Yeah, mm-hmm. That's pretty much every season. Go ahead and copy paste that to basketball season for the men as well because I think that's going to prove to be useful.

Which that is the sport where all the SEC propaganda is real at this point. That's where it all moved. Which Ivy League team will knock Auburn out of the tournament first? This time. My money's on Dartmouth this time. Wow. Going straight for batmeck. Okay, that's a choice. Going straight at Bruce Pearl, an impeachable, unimpeachable source of sports virtue. You know what else is weird about the thing you bring up, Jason?

One of the talking points with the 12-team playoff was, this is going to ruin the regular season. And while I think there is an interesting debate to be had about, like, what does the regular season mean? by and large it didn't ruin it It was still like very entertaining And had like lots of good intrigue and drama And excitement But it did kind of ruin the playoff in some I think the playoff is the thing that had

The bigger impact on itself By expanding than the regular season did With the maybe little asterisk for conference championship games So like which part of the playoff became worsened. Not even necessarily worsened, just sort of like harder to process. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah.

I definitely think that. I mean, maybe part of it is just like wrapping our minds around a new thing and a new rhythm, but I mean, the effect on the regular season, there's a give and take. Some things mattered less, some things, a lot of, like, the Mountain West Championship became so much more meaningful than ever before.

you know so like there was a give and take on the regular season it's well yeah it either did this though like the effect on conference championships games was either this is the most important game in the world or who cares trash do not want to play in it playing in it is bad no one wants to fucking play in this game Notre Dame vindicated yeah how have they ever been wrong how like how have they ever been wrong with their scamming asses like they have they have done everything they didn't join a conference made the first Made the first, like, 12 team, right? Sure.

Yeah, got a boatload of money from it. Got a boatload of money from it. Didn't have to share that money with fucking Purdue or NC State or any of these other bums. No, didn't have to do a goddamn thing. It's the best. It's the dream. I change nothing and I receive more rewards and more cash. I think it's the NFL thing.

It's just too far into the NFL playoffs now. Like, once it gets past that weekend when it's like all the second round of the playoffs, I don't think we can go past that. That's too far. Have you all seen the date for the 2027 title game? Only because you sent it to me. Is it even further in the future? It's fucking January 25th.

No, that's too far. No. It's too far. No. Are we going for like JV. Super Bowl at some point? Yeah, and I hate that. Welcome to Media Week at the National Championship for the Super Bowl. Listen, you laugh, but it's going to be in Las Vegas.

So there's every chance that that's what it turns into. Yeah. City of hotel concourses. Oh, God. Anyway, sorry, I came in here to see if you guys had watched ancient aliens on Roku. No. I have not. I think.

You remember the dude from the meme, though? With the big hair. Yeah. Right. Okay. Y'all, okay, first of all, Roku Channel is an incredible boon. Do any of you have it? I have the Roku app that shows King Kong and...

Yeah, yeah. Roku's sitting. First of all, it has every season of bake-off, not just the Great British Bake-off seasons that were on Netflix, but the old ones that were like super educational and PBS-E. And you can watch them all for free if you have the Roku app. But more importantly, they have ancient aliens, which is apparently still hosted by the same guy.

Y'all, okay, so we all know him from the meme, right? Yes, Ryan. I didn't watch the original. Was ancient aliens like a multi-episode thing or just? I don't know. I've never seen it. Okay, got you. I just want you to see, I just want you to look at the Roku glow up.

Okay. That the ancient aliens guy got because I, he's a lot of things and has been like a meme stalwart for what feels like decades at this point. I never really thought of him as a snack. But come look at this Roku headshot that I've dropped in the chat. This is, God, what's his name? Like, it's giving Eric Avarie just a little bit. I was going to say...

Whose name, by the way, whose character's name in the 1999 cinema best picture winner The Mummy is Dr. Terrence Bay, which I think cannot be a coincidence. Georgie Sokolos is this guy's name, yeah. So listen, if you squins a little bit And, like, his, sure, his hair lines are seating, and that's fine because his hair is his trademark. But at first glance, when I saw this on my television from across the room, I thought, oh, that dude shaped his head.

And he's got a very shapely noggin, which is not something that our lighter-complected brothers and sisters can often say. You know, it's kind of, it really kind of, we're rolling the dice, whether we got these big, weird bumpy noggins. Like, I'm sure that bumpy-headed people have many skills and many fine qualities, but, like, sightly skulls are not one of them. but I'm saying whether this dude keeps his trademark hair or not like he's got these like look look at this he's got these nice deep set eyes he's got great cheekbones like this is a look yeah he's I was I'm getting kind of like David Thueless vibes yeah yeah just in that little like that little like kind of squinty serene expression yeah yeah yeah good for him man more like ancient balians thank you thank you uh they're what are you're talking about uh nothing as

important as this there are so many seasons of ancient aliens that's the thing about roku there's a lot of it yeah okay sure hmm description every once in a while it's it's got one of those things where we need to come up with a name for this kind of movie but they're they're invariably made in the 90s like from like 1990 let's say 1994 to like 1999 yeah and you flip on the TV and of course if you have like a roku tv right this is how this all comes to pass and i've been sick as shit because we're all used to the season ending like three weeks earlier and my body got sick before the season was over because it was like party clock and i've been watching a lot of television and so the first thing you turn on as you see uh as you see this roku app and there's always if it's not the serene

smiling face of the newly glowed up ancient aliens guy there is always something on roku like broken arrow. If John Travolta is in it or Nicholas Cage is in it and you kind of forgot about it it's on Roku. Brian, Ryan, this will be right down your alley.

Air Force One. Oh, I'd love to watch Air Force One. Air Force One. Not going to seek it out. Not going to like put special effort in. It's like Air Force One's T&T. Right. It's a bag of Doritos.

You're not buying it. But if it's there, why would I not? Like, and it's nothing that will repel you, you're not going to see like men in black wild wild west or was that even a men and black movie no but now i wanted to be i was like hang on wait a second hollywood she's cooking right now bring bring hello hollywood we have an idea okay okay okay okay 200 million dollar budget approved this is not as bad as the dude in my mentions this morning who thought sterling k brown was dulae hill both fine actors and was like sterling k

Brown wasn't in psych and I almost jumped through my fucking screen. I hate to start, I hate to start talking about shit that makes me mad on blue sky again but that's the closest I've ever come to fighting somebody this calendar year was the dude who was like Sterling Kay Brown wasn't in Syke. I also wouldn't

bet that, like I'm sure that that's not true but I would you be shocked if it was like actually he was in two episodes? Right. I resent that I've never seen Syke but I know that it had a musical episode. I shouldn't have that information. I don't want it?

Why do I know that? The most confusing thing you have presented to me with this ancient aliens linked to Aden Roku. Rating, TVMA. Huh. Is there sex? Are there sexy? Right?

Right. Is there sexy ancient alienness? Okay, so there's more aliens. There's presumably still aliens and there were aliens. So, like, at some point, Boning has to have. Sure, I don't, yeah, the science demands it. Our spores mature content? I mean, isn't sexy alien stuff?

Wasn't that what X-Files was about? Yeah. That's true. I never saw it, so I'm just guessing. That's true. And there was that stretch where we were like, you know what, we need movies of? And this probably falls also into the Roku category. Like, I feel like Species is probably on Roku.

Yeah, species probably plays on Roku an average of like eight times a day. And we're like, oh, we got to get these fucking aliens up until. The over of Michael Crichton is actually the perfect place to draw this line up. Is sphere? Is sphere on Roku? Yes. So, like, in the Michael Crichton genre, right, you would have, like, on Roku, Sphere, Congo, Congo, not on Roku, Jurassic Park. Sure. I mean, alien itself is about sexy aliens.

In a way. In a way. Alien would not be on Roco. Aliens would not be on Roku. Alien three. Alien three. Alien resurrection all the time. This crosses over, we can advance this because this crosses over my favorite genre of movie that I will stop and watch,

which is 80s to 30s. 90s erotic thriller about a man who is so horny he's going to die and a crime. Yeah. So last night I watched a drive, which is like the perfect culmination of that. Yeah, that's like that movie, but if

they made it a silent film. Yeah. Like Ryan Gosling somehow conveys, I like this lady so much. I'm going to do the hundred of the dumbest things you've ever seen without saying a word. This is what like dark water and all those 90s movies were missing. Like they

were missing they were missing like the sick jacket the signature fashion item Spencer are you talking about like body heat in movies like that? I don't know what that movie is but I feel like I do

the entire genre of movie that is basically like Michael Douglas has a boner and it's a problem. It's like if Alec Baldwin is one cop and Richard Gear is another cop and one of them is shady and one of them is rich. Two guys in suits have guns and boners. A lot of a lot of these movies were basically like

don't think with your dick that's a bad idea and the lesson everybody took with it was like all these girls were okay with it these babes were so hot it's worth it um there's also pubic hair in them kids like this used to be a thing that we could show on television that's true that's probably a thing we could show on television yeah movies movies like unlawful entry where it was like ray leota has is that real boner and he's crazy yeah yeah oh this would actually be a fun quiz for jason real real or fake erotic thriller yeah yes i mean like if we do this Is this is Spencer's version of the musical game? It is. I've seen movies. These two don't ring a bell as all. I'm writing this down for future. You were like playing, but you were probably playing video games

during this formative series while I was like studying the blade on TBS. Well, it's also that they're so crime-oriented. Like there are some of these that are just like, ooh, they're like sexy. But a lot of them, it's like, it's a sexy murderous. Actually, I bet I could fool all four of you

if I got a list going. Probably. A possible exception, apparently, of Spencer. Oh, yeah, this is... So these are when Spencer was 30, so it doesn't count. That's right. I was in them. I was like, you know, my work is a detective here in San Francisco.

It's taking me to a lot of interesting places. Spencer's in the original presumed innocent. Did you know that? Yeah, there's always like a love scene in a loft where it's somebody flexing buttocks over another actor, right? Like, that's it. But it's not like a cool loft. It's like exposed brick. Yeah.

It's exposed brick and there's like, you know, a sacks playing. Remember when you want exposed brick and then everyone was like, why did I get this crumbling dusty wall in my apartment? I feel like these are shot with a lot of blue filters too. That's the thing. Okay, that's the thing. They're beautifully shot. So many of them are so beautifully shot.

Yeah. Yeah. Body double. Dressed to kill. Malice. Because like this is when, these are like Brian. Okay, here we go. Do you know who's the most Roku director? The entire Brian DePaulma catalog, I would bet money at one time or another has been on Roku. Do you think the original mission impossible is

included in that? shit I forgot about which still whips for the rec I appreciate all your stunt work it's a great movie it's a great movie I would bet that up until the advent of Paramount Plus the only reason I would bet against the original mission impossible

ooh you don't it be even likelier mission impossible too yes not the first one but the second one so I'm pitching this for Ryan we're so instant Ryan you get it Michael Douglas thinks his suspect is an alien and he's incredible horny for her. Yeah, there aren't a lot of aliens in the crime movies. I feel like those came

later. And we're back to men in black. Hot space. We'll work on that. We'll work on the title. That's okay. Working title, working title. Nish. America is a lot. Welcome to the shutdown full cast. Don't say anything else. It's Holly's idea now. Go. They heard that in space. Oh, you want to talk about what we're doing on Channel 6?

on Friday? Yeah. So Tennessee's signing class, everybody's signing class just dropped, right? Everybody's announcing their nobs. And Spencer and I came up with this game over the weekend that is basically just signing class war where I'm going to put down a player and he's going to put down a player from his team's signing class. And based on a combination of name, hometown, position, height weight, and haircut, we're

just going to determine who wins. yeah is this recruiting Pokemon it's basically war the card game or recruiting magic okay yeah got you want to give them an example we're going to do like a whole hour of this on Friday on channel 6 but Spencer do you want to pull up Florida's class and we'll give him an example yes I will do that really quick it's basically like almost pre-naming some guys the game right like naming some guys let's get some guys who will be remembered feature naming some guys pre-naming guys right for instance this was this was inspired when I

found out that Tennessee has signed a cornerback named Trey Poteet and I'm like, you see that on a list and I'm like, that's somebody this actually all came back to why the fuck is Nitro Tuggle at the school he's at? This is 247 Minority Report.

Kind of, yeah, yeah. There is a gentleman in our current recruiting class. So if I went one, two, three, Tray Potit, you would throw down. And we have to do it simultaneously, but like, who would you pick? Gerard Pringle jrangle oh god damn it that's so strong what position does gerard pringle junior play he's a running

back okay oh he's gonna be wait let me guess is he 5 8 so close 5 10 shit okay no okay he's 5 8 all right so close anyway this is what we're gonna do on friday at lunchtime at channel 6 for like an hour because we had a lot of fun doing it it's gonna be really stupid and y'all should tune in that's our podcast business hi that's holly anderson i'm spencer I'm sorry. I'm sorry. One more because this is so fucking funny. I got one more. No, every time I love Tennessee's signing class so much, you know how we love dudes whose names are simple sentences? And you don't often get an imperative.

Charles House signed letter of intent. Just the whole thing. Charles, comma, house. Yeah. He's going to run. The whole dang thing. He's a defensive lineman, so he might not be housing a lot, but he could be housing like some fries. By the way, Gerard Pringle, his junior came from the,

Miami Hurricanes, I accidentally pulled up the state of Florida recruiting class, not the Florida Gators recruiting class. I was, if I had to throw down, going to select Hilton Stubbs. Hilton Stubbs. Oh, that's so good. It's a great name. Okay.

This is also how I found out that Mike McIntyre's great nephew, who is the grandson of an ancient Vanderbilt coach, is shunning Vanderbilt to go to Tennessee. Ha! Ha! Dorks! This is how I found out that Rob Barronis's son? Let's say son. what is going to

Stanford bless his heart good for him London Barronis was his heart okay sorry I got one more I got more because I saw one more over the weekend

before we take over the whole show with this if I told you that Arkansas had a pair of quarterbacks in their signing class you would say Bobby Petrino what are you up to

and if I would say he's got one quarterback of each type because there are two types of quarterbacks that go to Arkansas, and he's got both of them. Oh, no. Oh, wait a second. One is named Dry Bones, I assume.

Has he got three? Okay, so we have a Grayson Wilson from Conway, so they've got the Georgia variant. And then we have a Garrett Odom, spelled G-A-R-Y-T, the Big 12 variant. I was hoping it was going to be Garrett, like, strangle somebody. Geroot. Not that would be good. Gerot-O-D-O-D-M. God, the Arkansas.

Arkansas has, listen, Arkansas has a 6-1 linebacker named Cash Archer. I'm fucking terrified of Arkansas next year. The number of people who, circa, what would it be, 2005, 2006, just started naming children aspirationally after cash. Okay, I can't find it. I can't find it, but there's a kid, there's a kid in 24-7 who I saw yesterday in prepping for this name Cash with a K. and we got to make sure the Bill G12 doesn't die because these kids need somewhere to go. They can't all go to Texas.

Anyway, that's our podcast business. A thing that we do at the top of the show. Before we do the entirely separate podcast. I am slurred, bombing into Spencer's carefully planned run a show. This is fun. Isn't it fun to be Spencer? It is. Everyone, listen.

It's making me a little anxious. I'm not going to. Alive. Everyone, including you, audience. Just be Spencer. Yeah, do that. It's way more fun. To your wives.

I'm sorry. At work. To your managers. At a christening. Just be Spencer. Just stumbling like a big old farm animal. That's crazy, man. That's it.

Be me until they complain about you, like Texas Rangers complain about feral hogs. That's it. Yeah, that's right. We need to hunt him by helicopter. That's how you know you've succeeded. No, but we do lose a large. number of feral pigs on a major league baseball team which one marlins the texas rangers oh oh i like

the drive was like no marlins instantly it's where it would cause like ranger versus marlin is incredible i'm going to nominate the uh toronto blue jays because they are forever coming in second place when it comes to acquiring new guys so we're going to give them a whole lot of guys sure yeah great plan do you all remember that speaking of rocue tv and and TV shows again. Do y'all remember that show where they built it wasn't battlebots.

It was some battlebots adjacent thing where they specifically would build robot animals and have them fight? No. Not only do I not remember this I don't even have a vague memory of it.

The only reason I, listen, the only reason I remember is because we were talking about erotic thrillers and there was one episode where it was like hippo robot versus alligator robot and it was painfully obvious

from the banter between the two teams of engineers that somebody on this hippo team was fucking somebody on the alligator team and it ended badly okay Spencer you've never heard of this either no I've never heard of this I think the common person we have to blame

it's not Holly who's telling us about it now it's John Boyce John Boyce has never mentioned this to us as a failure of the highest order on his part wait hang on hang on hang on oh this is 38 God for you Animal Face Off, a television program that aired on the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet in 2004.

There were 12 episodes, but I just want to point out that I'm like, oh, I watched this with a kid. I was a senior in college. Wow. Yeah. You have to understand every cable network at that point had a sweet spot between peak cable and everyone starting to cut cords where money didn't mean anything. Like, this is when ESPN was like, yeah, we'll get $4 million to an afternoon anchor. you know discovery's version of that was 100% this where they were like yeah it was it was maybe elephant versus rhinos anyway and one of them you can totally tell that the engineers who made

the ops opposing robot teams were doing it so i think spencer you're saying if we went back in time 20 years we could pitch discovery on civil war reenactment but with animals but with whatever you wanted whatever you want we could do a thing where we're like hey listen we're going to sew extra limbs onto to people in an offshore island and Discovery would be like, I'm listening, I'm listening, and TLC would be like, can someone in the cast be very large or very small?

Like, can that also happen? Is there cake? Yeah, can some of it be cake? I have 15 children and I'm getting the squid treatment. So I can wrangle all these kids. That's right. Literal octomomom. You can't call me Dr. Octopus because that's a protected trademark.

No, that's our show. literal octo mom. Yeah. That's it. Some, like, some coaked out guy in an office park and, like, suburban D.C. is listening to the pitch and be like, that's incredible. It's fucking great. Green light it.

Yeah, let's do it. We're Discovery Channel. We're never going to die. That's true. And they have it. We do actually, should mention. We? Yeah, I'm going to mention.

I'm going to mention it that James Franklin is at the, the push every button stage of his career, which I really appreciate. Wait, wait, I don't know what has happened here. They hired Ohio State's defensive coordinator, Jim Knowles. Oh, I thought that was a bit. After a lengthy bidding process between at least Ohio State, Penn State, and Oklahoma, and I feel like I'm forgetting a third school in there, or a fourth school in there. I am saying that we are talking about the Knowles.

We are 100% talking about the Knowles. That is what we are doing. And his suitors did include, yes, Oklahoma, I don't remember the fourth one either. but that he was the bell of the ball in terms of, we didn't really have much of a coaching carousel this offseason, but we had them in terms of coordinators. And that is because Jim Knowles allegedly had, let's see, had, let's see, Penn State, Ohio State, Oklahoma,

and I think the other one was Notre Dame. Notre Dame might have been there as well. Yes, sure. yes i think that's right uh and that because of all of this he was told not to attend i think the the uh the celebration the parade yeah the parade don't come to the parade yeah so iosate was like we're we're negotiating with you so you can't come to the party what the absolute fuck yeah so shocker business trip yeah business trip yeah he went to pen state because james franklin and it's like just

press button. He had to hire a defensive coordinator because Tom Allen went to Clemson. And the reason he went to Clemson, I don't think it was anything other than, I think he wanted... That's a personality hire. Well, he wanted to be closer to his kids

is the general take on that, which, sure, like he's a coach. How much has he seen his kids? Realistically. Not a lot. So I get that. But at the same time, they had to make a hire.

and rather than like, so Mike Gundy for a long time kept his job doing this. He kept his job by going to FBS, FCS, stats, and sorting for top. And then he would hire that guy.

That's what he did. And if that guy was making like 300 grand or 200 grand at his old school, awesome. We'll double your salary and pay you four or six. And instead,

James Franklin was like, I'm going to go find the most fucking expensive defensive coordinator I can find because right now, and this is the real story, Jim Knowles is making over $3 million a year. Three, three million dollars a year.

I was ready to kill people over Todd Grantham making a million dollars as defensive coordinator. Jim Knowles is making three. Now, Jim Noles is way better than Todd Grantham. I'm just saying in terms of scale. God damn, three mil a year as defensive coordinator. I think Big Ten's got a lot of money. Yeah, I think that's fine.

That's, it's true. I mean, they can afford it, guys. Playoff money is a lot of money. That's typical SEC Honk, Spencer Hall's poverty outset, poverty mindset. Also, if you're James Franklin, shouldn't you press every button at this point? I mean, he needs a defensive coordinator. He hired a guy who has the case to be the best current defensive coordinator. I mean, I don't know.

That's hitting the bar, though, right? You're like, hey, I need a car. And they're like, well, how much money do you have? All of it. I have all of it. age three it is yeah yeah you're not coming back with an ultima no yeah so uh Penn State preseason number one that's there now that's what I'm saying there it is there it is reason which by the way like I don't know reasonable expectations that feels like

sure another thing you go we just told a joke and you go is that a reasonable joke yeah it's a pretty reasonable joke sure I mean uh how many teams won more playoff games than them not many so seems fine to me that seems totally fine to me i was just like man there's nobody like how many head coaches at this point does jim knolls out earn he out earns a lot of head coaches by salary like it's nuts to me that but in my lifetime we've gotten to a point where an assistant is making three mill that's not like a moral judgment that's just me being shocked just goddamn that is incredible can i can i make the the galaxy brain case for this move sure if you look at penn state's got i think the two top running backs are coming back tyler warren is

off to the NFL draft wide receiver has been kind of a mishmash over the last couple years and i don't think the like they're they're i think they're transferring a couple guys in nobody necessarily he'd be like, okay, Drew Aller, I have no idea what to make of them, truthfully, at this point. There have been some games, and there are some stretches of games where you're like, oh, I see it. And there are others where you're like, nope, super dope. So at this point, you're not like, well, we're moving on to a new quarterback and a new offensive system, and we're tearing that part down. If you can build something where you're like, we are confident that we can build a defense that will hold everybody to, let's say, 22 points, then we only need an offense that can score 23.

Like, is that actually the more reasonable way to go to sort of say, like, this is our path to winning a Big Ten title? It's to say, like, the defense could not keep up with Oregon in the Big Ten championship game. Other games played better, you know, and obviously are losing maybe the best defensive, certainly I would say the best defensive linemen in this draft class, maybe the best defensive player in this draft class.

Like, is that maybe a not absurd way to sort of go to sort of say, like, yes, let's just put all our chips in on this side of the table and ask the other side to do enough? And it's fine if we win a bunch of 2418 games along the way. I mean, I don't even think that's GalaxyD brand. I think that's just, like, basic flat logic. Okay, okay. That's the argument, you know? Like, as long as, like, Jim Knowles, obviously, accomplished coach and all that.

Also, if he is able to, you know, have a roster like he had at Ohio State, which, like you say, losing Abdul Carter, it's a big piece to replace. But, yeah, like, why not go all in on defense? I mean, it makes sense. I think it's also what James Franklin wants to do. Like, this is James Franklin's whole thing. Sure. They're going to be their super control team.

At no point will the Wolfman be like, Leash, let me deal. No, no, this team works on a leash. They're very... It's going to be all daytime for the Wolfman. That's right. The moon is out, so I'm in the basement. The moon is not.

It's a DoorDash night. I went to bed at 615. The moon is out. Yeah, they're not... Like, it's not like they don't. The moon is out. It's beautiful, Holly. Thank you.

That was one. shining moment as a basketball reference. His salary, by the way, puts him at about 60th in the nation, 59th, depending on, I don't know, whether they threw a couple extra bucks Clark Lee's way, because Jim Dahl's would be

making about as much as Clark Lee makes it Vanderbilt to be head coach, to be defensive coordinator at Penn State. That's where that sits. With the broke-ass SEC. Would you say there are similar pressure levels for anyone on Penn State staff and Vanderbilt

Bill's head coach, which like I mean that sincerely. I would argue yes, but. Yeah, no, I think there might be more pressure at Penn State, actually, because Clark Lee's got a little bit of house money. I'm not saying he couldn't bust out next year and forfeit at all, but they beat Alabama. And the expectations that Penn State right now stand at what? Playoff semifinalist? That's where we're at?

Yes. Yeah, playoff semi-finalist. Maybe you can dial it back very slightly, but not that. lately. Oh, yeah, I think there's more pressure at Penn State. So if pressure... Well, more pressure, certainly. I just mean more pressure if you're an assistant than Vandy's head coach.

Yeah, no. I mean, I even put out an assistant, yeah, because we just hung your name on that. It's Jim Knowles equals $3 million of our money. Yeah. We need to see $3 million worth of returns at least, like minimum. I guess to me, it, like, logically, it should feel crazy that we've passed the $3 million mark, but also in the other hand, it's just like, The new playoff money and Fox TV money

is just like, ah, numbers. Number, numbers, huge. Number mean nothing. Yeah, it feels completely disconnected from reality for me for some reason. I also, if I remember correctly, Penn State's in the middle of a big renovation of Bieber Stadium, that's largely meant

to, like, create more luxury boxes and, like, woo, uh, booster money type things. So, yeah, that kind of trends towards, there's no... Gonna woo you with our renovated babies. well there's i i think we have created a system and maybe it's always been this way there's no benefit to being um economically savvy like getting a bargain to what end if i go get the best million dollar defensive coordinator and i save that two million dollars like it's not as it's not a

zero-sum game where it's like well now i can go into the transfer portal it's like some of if you are certain programs it's like no kind of needs to just be like Money never turn off. It's also, if the school itself invests $3 million in a coordinator, hey, boosters, should you be doing your part? Now we've just unlocked $3 million for another couple linebackers. The money can be, I know money not mean anything. However, Ohio State's Athletic Department ran at a slight deficit this year.

Now, that is because they had to buy out, among other things, they had to buy out a basketball coach. That's fair. That's the way it's going to show up. I don't think they have any serious money. problems. However, I would point out that if Ohio State current national champion... That money hasn't hit yet. My money hasn't hit yet. You said that with the practice cadence of a dad.

Listen, on the first that's going to hit. That money's going to hit. It's going to be fine. Need everyone to call the fuck down. I just did a bunch of Amazon returns. We're going to be fine. If there's a gift certificate, it's all going to hang together. But, but, like, if that's where Ohio State is, not saying they're in a crisis, but if that's where the most affluent, or second most affluent, sorry, Texas. Yeah. You can't mention, I can't mention another program finances without being like, which are a mere fraction of Texases, broke, bitches.

We're obligated to do that as SEC honks now. We get to do that now. We are praising Ohio State as Texas-esque. Yes. That's right. Kind of a brown paper bag, the working class version of Texas. Is Ohio State okay? No.

What a sweet Coca-Cola that is Texas athletics. They probably do, though, because they're like, they don't even have to win anything to make money. How do they do it? It's never out. It's that or care about the cowboys, man. Texas has, listen, Texas, now, they're not as guilty of this as they once were, because. they had a really great year, and they went very deep in the playoff, et cetera. However, divesting your outcomes from your income is an amazing trick if you can pull it off.

Would you rather, would you rather buy four excellent Cowboys season tickets or give that money to Texas NIO? Oh, I'd rather give that money to Texas NIO. Right. It's easy. It's not even close. I might get something back at a Texas N.I.L. Yes, that's the Brian Schottenheimer show? Yeah, Charles McDonald went to that press conference

If you follow him If you follow him on any social media He was like, I have no idea what the fuck I just watched Jerry talked for like 20 minutes Before Shottenheimer even opened his mouth I just want to talk about the weather It's kind of, it's dusty today My favorite thing is Jerry was criticized

For hiring the offensive coordinator Of the guy he got rid of And people said, you know, this is a very conservative safe move like don't you need to shake things up a bit more and uh jerry jones said no hiring brian schottenheimer was very risky this guy's been interviewing this guy's been interviewing for coaching jobs for almost 20 years and he hadn't gotten one yet look how crazy i am pulling this shit so it's like having it both ways hiring the most boring guy you can while also describing him as a huge risk perfect dave from the mailroom it's your day come on up

CEO position is open. I'd much rather give money to Texas. Even though I know they're not going to win a title that hasn't, like, that's just not what Texas does. They could. Could. They could.

Will probability versus possibility. I mean, there's nobody who probably will. Frankly, I would rather, I would rather invest my money and my emotions in Texas athletics in the current landscape because now in college football, with the right amount of money

and with the right amount of planning, you can turn things around in two years. You can't do that in the NFL. The Dallas Cowboys certainly can't do that in the NFL. I know that's true. Right. Like, what are you going to do? Be a Jaguars fan?

No. No. It looks like the correct program to invest your money would be Texas Longhorns volleyball and swimming. Great. Lots of recent national titles in those sports.

wonderful so yeah if uh if if if if money could fix problems the cowboys would be good would have like wouldn't be the uh n fc team with the longest nmc championship drought as of as of now yeah there are so many teams in the nmc and so many of them suck the panthers have been like three or four times since then they didn't even exist man you get the money they drafted jimmy clausin you get the money whether you're good or not there's no incentive to give a shit once you buy the team there's not oh i hear you but i think for i think for jerry they're very much that's the funniest part i think we're all wrong i think jerry's like money no he gives an immense shit that's the funniest part i think he gives no shits he just likes

being famous they could sit up there rack up five and twelve seasons like he would be so much more famous if they were good. Yes, that's what it is, is that you can't, it's hard to be famous or it's hard to be famous in the way you want to be when you're winning five games. So you're saying he's incompetent, not malevolent. I'm saying he's malevolent, not incompetent. Maybe we're both right. Maybe, okay.

Man, Cowboys fans, welcome once again to the shutdown forecast. I would say, your source. Your source. I would say he is malevolent and incompetent. Yeah. Ooh, I like that. Yeah. Because as a booster, you're always the hangman, right?

You're always coming in like, hey, I gave you guys a bunch of money and you suck. Yes. And I expected nothing from it but wins. But Jerry's the booster. Jerry's the booster and the athletic director. You can't fire himself yet. That's going to be the best press conference. He's like, I found the problem and it's me.

It's me all alone. It's me. I'm Jerry. Because you're giving me. an on-ramp to it. Can we go ahead and fire up some podcast business? What's the business? Podcast business. What's the business?

Podcast business. We're all Cowboys fans. Isn't that obvious? All right. All right. Don't like that. Yeah, whoa. Whoa. Backal. As Cowboys say, whoa, there, Huckold. Keep pounding.

Speaking the parlance of a cowboy, let's get that pony back into the stable. Spencer, we're going to do things of that order. We're going to start with more or less our weekly game presented by prize picks. Say it like you've been saying it.

Prize picks. Thank you. Now I'm used to it. We're going to stay in the division. I don't know if you all know, but the Philadelphia Eagles are going to the Super Bowl. No big deal.

Fly penny fly. Fly, penny fly. Correct. I did get chirped at in, I'm obviously wearing my penny jacket it basically every day until the Super Bowl. I did get chirped at in the daycare parking lot by a parent driving

by who said, go chiefs. And I told my wife, I was mad because I couldn't mother fuck him in front of my kids. Okay, a real Philly fan would have. That's exactly what she said. A true Philly fan, if you're a true Philly fan, your kid says, hang on, let me handle this.

Ryan, did you not have a battery in one hand just to wing at this person's engine? You will now. I am but a paddle. Did you get their license plate number. No, I did. I failed. And so I have many ways to grow. All right. That's all right. You'll see them again. Cars probably in their boss's name. I'm going to go outside and see if there's any snow

left on the ground and I'm going to make you a mixture of slush and gravel. Thank you. That I'm just going to send you in the mail. I appreciate that. For you to make snowballs out of. Spencer, you're going to be my... As ally ship. You're going to be my contestant for this week's edition of

more or less. Can't wait. Which is all about Saquan Barclay. and more specifically Saquan Barclay and a different team in the NFC East the New York Giants Can I tell you the best part of watching Sequan Barclay in this game?

Sure. Was that I don't know if you saw how far apart his first two scores of the game were or Philly's first two scores of the game were but I was in the middle of type like on first down I was in the middle of typing a joke Seacuan would have scored there and I looked up and he was actually scored.

Yes. In the middle of his 60-yard run, I was trying to make a Sequon would have scored on that play joke, and he beat me. And then he did. And then he did. All right. Spencer. All right. Sequin Barclay ran for 2005 yards this year.

That's just his regular season stats. Did the New York Giants, his former employer and the team that drafted him, run for more or less than that with the entirety of their roster? Less. That's correct. They ran for 1,783 yards. Sequin Barclay had a combined 15 touchdowns in the 2024 season. Did Giants running backs have more or less than that? Less.

That's correct. They had 10. All right. This might be a little tricky. Sequin fumbled twice in 16 games this season. He sat out the regular season finale, even though he could have potentially broken the NFL single season rushing record. It's fine.

Did Daniel Jones, who appeared in 10 games for the Giants before they moved the him to scout safety and cut him fumble more or less than the two that Saquan had. I'm going to have too much fun. No, the answer is too much fun. More. Correct. Four fumbles for Daniel Jones in 10 games.

All right. In all three playoff wins for the Philadelphia Eagles, Saquan Barclay has run for over 100 yards. Since the Giants won their last Super Bowl championship in February of 2012, have the Giants run for 100 yards in a playoff

game more than three times or less than three times. I've just been hating with every answer, so I'm going to keep that going less. That's correct. It's only been two times since then. And my final question, Sequin Barclay's current deal counts against Philadelphia's salary cap for $3.8 million this season. Does kicker Graham Ganoe, who's 37 years old, count against the 2024 cap for the Giants for more or less than that amount.

More. Spencer, you've swept this category. It's nearly twice as much money at $7.2 million. The giant suck and will always suck. And I'm so glad that HBO captured them sucking and deciding to suck. Go birds!

That's incredible. Two years, for city! I'm in the best shape of my life With that, Spencer, if you would Can you tell us a little bit more about our sponsor price picks? I can tell you more about our sponsor prize picks. That's right. It's the best money.

The best money, the best place to get that money. That real money is. Folks, it's the best money. It is. It's the best money. There's nothing better than this money. Many people are saying it. With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings,

prize picks is made daily fantasy sports accessible to all all you need to do is just pick more more or san quo barclay no we can't afford him we can't with price picks you can't we already signed a kicker for nine million dollars as month listen new york giants we're trying to help you out yeah the giants could have said less to graham ganoe on at least two players for a shot to end up to one thousand times your cash you can run you'll game all season long on prize picks. Coming up, hey, Ceasy Math Man, looking at it,

if you got to select more on something, Seekoine Barkley rushing yards. That's right, baby! Sequoan Barkley rushing yards seems like a pretty safe one. Also, Philadelphia, a whole bunch of turnovers forced in the championship game

might want to go ahead and select more on that if you got a shot to, because they like to beat you up, and they like to take the ball. New Orleans light poles greased. Take more. Definitely more. Exactly. Nelson Agalore references. More. More.

New Orleans light poles got all those like crenellations and ribs on them and stuff too. That's right. That's weird. Nick Foll's penis references. More. More. Select all of them. Jaylen Carter smacked an offensive lineman in the face. he fell on his ass. I don't know if there's more for that, but pick it.

If I could, listen, if I could pick number of times Jalen Carter picks another man up like a trophy, more, more. Because he got it. I like, he did that in a college game and someone might have said, oh, you're not going to do that in the pros. Want to bet?

More. That's right. Also, by the way, big game, the big game is almost here. It's now never, you could miss out on the last, don't miss out on the last football game the season with prize picks. They're giving away a free pick for the big game. The big game.

You know the one. Who else is going to be given away a free pick for the big game? Probably Jalen Hertz. That's right. Where one of the starting quarter... Sorry, that was the wrong direction. That's fine. No, it's not...

Much like the pick. We're one of the starting quarterbacks will only need to throw for one yard to win. That's Jailen Hertz, baby, because he's winning anyway. That is how the Eagles would prefer to win. One could. One completion of A.J. Brad for a one-yark touchdown. On a play action tush-bush.

It's a fake. It's the tush-fake. Dallas Goddard! They said we couldn't do it, but we did the ass pass. I would seriously select. Fuck the Philly special. That's too much work. I would seriously select Dallas Goddard passing touchdown if I could. No, we just do the quads toss. Yeah.

We run all our plays out of Tushbush. We just look like 2013 Stanford on every play. Is that Jordan Davis playing quarterback? Yes. Get out of here. Bigger, bigger, more. That's right. If you're correct on at least one more stat projection, you win real cash.

Man, that sounds crazy. How do I do that? Well, you can just download the app today. Use the code fullcast to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's correct. Download the app, use code fullcast, $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, run your game. We should also talk about the fine folks at homefield apparel.com

who have branched out this week into hockeywear. What? Unsatisfied with their dog. Hockey ain't got no grass? What about field hockey? Shit. What about really shitty rinks? Yeah.

Yeah. What about if you dump grass clippings on a rig somewhere? Yeah. That could work. Yeah, a bunch of new hockey jerseys available and all the classics that you've already come to know and love. The Kroeneks, the hoodies, the joggers, the T-shirts, the three-quarters, the bomber jackets, the coach's jacket. I mean, it's just, it's becoming a problem. Like, I know we're supposed to evangelize here at some point, but, like, goddamn

Homefield, am I going to have to build a new closet in my house? What are you doing to me here? Is Homefield propping up the home renovation industry? One must ask. There we have. We await your answer, Connor. Until then, use offer code forecast to get 20% off your first order at homefield apparel.com, which now can include hockeywear.

you are basically you are hurtling towards a world in which you're like honey where's my home field tuxedo i got we got to get to this wedding it's the one with bucky the badger on it don't play with my heart i was telling john boys actually in a conversation that i wanted to dress a lot like the badger in the fantastic mr fox if i could sure but i can't pull that off that's so many layers man you're going to be right i can't do it um but if it were i like me is bill murray is I think you could pull it off. I just think you'd be hot. He's the demolition specialist.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah. You know, similar build, similar demeanor. I thought, you know, like... You'd have to move, but I think if you lived in, like, the Upper Peninsula, you could do it. If I lived in Scotland, yeah, I could pull it off. I really could.

Hi, I'm Rek Spencer. Here's my suit. That's how you know Wes Anderson's skinny. It's all those, like, fancy layered clothes in his movies. You go, that's how I know your ass is skinny, even though you grew up in Houston. You're like, I can wear a three of three of him. players, it's fine. But I was saying

if we could have a suit that was one piece that you just put on like zipper, like a NASCAR jumpsuit and it looked like a suit. Yeah. Homefield, get on that. Okay. Homefield custom onesie for Spencer mixed up.

That's podcast business. Play us out, Spencer. All right. I will switch up the order a little bit here because I wanted to We were talking about the Super Bowl I will switch up the order fucking station control I know It sucks

Communication just because you put certain words together doesn't mean they're actually I know actually do you know You know we all have our own little We all have our own little traditions here and one of ours is No that's too mean even for me I guys I know you've trained for six months but I'm going to curve ball at year and change the run of show. I think it is

fun when Spencer changes it up like once every six weeks and pretends he's in charge. Yes. Yeah, this is one of those. Does it give Cerber a break from actually being in charge? It's like when a six year old tries, packs a bag and it's like, I'm running away from home. I have my Bindle today. Were you too young to babysit, but you can be a

mother's helper? Yeah, that's right. That's right. So. Spencer, go ahead. You may go now. Thank you. I saw I saw a server or Spencer filing the appropriate forms with server. Every day is bring your child to work day, if you work with me. So we have a Super Bowl, and we have the... Big game!

I'm sorry, the big game. And I wanted to look and go, okay, how does our blue chip ratio look on this? Because famously per... Oh my God, I just figured out how this is going to go. How? Not this, but Trump is going to get his good buddy, Roger Goodell, to sue the Episcopal church because of that mouthy broad in D.C. They're going to find, like, an Episcopal basement senior citizen Super Bowl watching party that did not properly label it the big game. And they're going to go after the Anglicans at the source, which is chips and dip parties.

This is the NFL versus church. Yeah. Hey, we haven't had a religious war in this country, mainly ever. Or always. Or forever. Or never. I wanted to look at our... Am I being like a fish in a water?

You know that joke about the fish, to Jason's point about, or always? You know that joke about fish being in water and two young fish are in the water and an old fish swims by? and he goes, water's nice today, and one fish turns to the other fish and says, what's water? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I think that's what we're doing. I'm the little fish. What I wanted to do was a friend of the program, colleague, long-time coworker.

Yes, Bud Elliott. I'm just going to get Bud Elliott's statement there. Hope it settles things like home. Trash program, that full cast. Not wrong. Yeah, Bud Elliott is fond of the blue chip ratio. his baby where we talk about you can't have an elite team without

five-star talent and so I was like well you know NFL's a fun place to look for that because the radar that translates high school talent to professional talent is fairly accurate but things get a little but things get a little wibbly

when you get into the pros because there's a lot more factors involved and I wanted to look at the rosters and I had some questions for y'all in the form of a slight quiz about each roster A slight quiz. A slight quiz.

Just a little slim, a slim survey. Quizling. Yes. Because I would love to go through every single position and tell you what stars they are because it's a special interest to find. But I'm not going to do that. Brian, hold still. No, that's an even better one. Yeah.

But I'm not going to do that. What I'm going to do is this. These rankings are all 247 rankings. So these are the 247 rankings for every prospect, turned college star player to NFL roster holder slash Super Bowl participant this year. These all come from 247. Do not quiz me about any others. I have no interest in those.

I did not use them. I'm using 247, like recruiting Jesus asked me to. And I wanted to just look at each half of the roster and go, huh, how many five stars have we got? How many four stars? If we're looking at what translates to NFL talent, just on a real unfair slice of the data here. What are we looking at?

So, Ryan, if I am looking at the Chief's offense, okay? The Chief's offense. How many five-star recruits out of high school do the Chief's offense have? Are you asking me about the starters or anybody who plays in the office? Starters. Starters on the current depth chart. I'm going to clarify, because I have to do this later for the, I have to do this later for the Eagles.

Yeah. This is listed starters throughout the season, right? They're like, so they're sort of classic 24, 25 lineups, all right? Mm-hmm. Well, the two most famous players on offense definitely don't qualify. Mahomes and Kelsey are nowhere. Like, I think Mahomes was maybe a two-star coming out of high school. And Travis Kelsey probably around the same.

I think he, I want to say he originally. was trying to get recruited as a quarterback at Cincinnati and, like, basically kept his roster up because brother. Anyway, that said, the wide receiver pool and the running backs have some guys who probably were five stars and maybe haven't panned out in the NFL the way people hoped they would. The offensive line is good, but I don't, I'm not sure if the offensive line has like showy five-star talent. I'm going to say I'm going to say

there are five, five stars on the Kansas City offense. That is a good guess. It is also very wrong. So, Juju. Yeah. Is he one? No.

No? Okay. Misremembering. Let's see. I'm going to have to look at the let's see. DeAndre Hopkins. That, yes, Hopkins was going to be one. You think Hopkins is a five-star?

I think so. Juju was a four-star. I don't remember Hopkins as a five, but like... He was not, he was a four-star. Was Worthy a five? Worthy was a four-star. Okay, well, then I way overshot. Based on this...

Now, you undershot Mahomes. Mahomes is a three-star. Okay, but I knew he wasn't a five-star. Right, composite three-star. Kelsey, correct. Kelsey was two stars. Okay. and was Mac Great Offers Only.

Right. Mac Great Offers Only. Their line contains the only five-star. The only five-star. Holly, do you know who the only five-star is? And I'm asking you for a reason. I'm not paying attention. What?

Oh, the only five-star. Sorry, wait. The only five-star what? It's okay. You're Spencer today. Are we playing a game? Yeah. Yes.

The only five-star where? The only five-star on the Kansas City starting offense. The only five-star. Oh, shit. I thought we were doing Eagles, and I knew that one. Starting offense this year? Yeah. It's a lineman.

It's a guard. And he played for your team. Oh, it's Trey Smith. I figured that's why you knew. Yeah, it's Trey Smith, then. Yeah. I was sorry. I was prepared to, like, throw Derek Barnett in people's face.

Yes. Because everybody said he wasn't going to be good. If I had, if I was in a fight, I would definitely throw Derek Barnett. So, one of my first choices, that's why. weapon. But yeah, the only like, the only can't miss five star is Tray Smith.

Yeah, Mr. Five Star, everyone on and can't miss. And he is the only starter on there. Everyone else. Okay. All over the dang map, including I'm going to give you the low man. Hollywood Brown. Hollywood Brown. No stars.

Nobody wanted no offers. Utah State only. Utah State only. When you find out what I was doing during this game instead of paying attention, you're going to be even matter. I love having no stars and taking the nickname Hollywood. Fuck you. I am the star.

That's right. You know when we talked about what our favorite moment it was of the season? And I said it was our punter getting a ball down at the one and hitting the Heisman pose. And also we were up 60 and it was against U-TEP. That energy. I love it. Jason. We're going to do defense on the Chiefs.

The Chiefs. Total five stars. out of high school total five stars out of high school on the 11 spots I'm giving you one George Car Laftus That is correct And then I'm And then I'm stalling

By the way that's for the P dance That's a four star with a five star composite Or five star with a four star composite Is five star composite has been standard for like Your five stars motherfucker USC was calling you It's pronounced padance Yeah

Uh beyond that none are jumping out as like oh yes I remember that guy as being a five star. I don't think Drew Trankel was I think he was probably a four star if I had to guess that is a really

nice guess he is a four star there is a big can't miss oh my God get out of his fucking way five star on here because he is Chris Jones yeah Chris Jones is also a five star

yeah he kind of transcends that even though because you go like recruiting doesn't count with him. Just like, oh God, God. Get out of his goddamn way. That whole family kind of qualifies it now. Yeah, good God. But you can't, like, you don't give

B-Bop and Rocksteady a 24-7 rating. No, you give them a rating of B-Bop and Rocksteady. That's right. That's right. Right. Trent McDuffie wasn't a five-star either? Tren MacDuffie was not a five-star. It was a four-star.

Okay. We're quibbling, right? You're real good. And everyone knew you were going to be. real good. Yeah. He was, he was a four star.

So yes, there were... God, stars are meaningless, I guess is what we're... There are two, two five stars on the defense. You're...

Now, the Low Man Award for the no star, no star, no go, no glamour picks who made it to the Super Bowl anyway. Brian Cook, who, no stars and came out of

the best high school name I've ever heard. Mount Healthy High School. high school in Cincinnati. That's right. Mount Healthy. The fightin' Kellogg's.

How tall is Mount Healthy? It's probably 380. 78 pancakes tall, Frank. Mount Healthy was founded as the village of Mount Pleasant, then renamed itself Mount Healthy following a cholera epidemic. So it's an ambitious name.

This is the, This is Parnum selling Pink or selling White Salmon guaranteed not to go pink in the can. Also, it Manifest, maybe. Its elevation above sea level is

837 feet. It is neither a mountain nor was it healthy at the time of its name. Hey, hey! Any cholera there? Actually, this is probably not the time. By the time this comes out there will probably be colorful. Fuck, it might be a mountain.

Look at this. Think about this in introductions like Jaden, Colton, Ashton, Iowa, or wait, what state was it in, Ohio? Ohio, Cincinnati, Ohio. Days since Incident, Junior High. This is our new default for, we don't know where this recruit is from. Days since Incident Junior High.

Mount Healthy. Yeah, radiation exposure, general middle. Acceptable. Yeah, acceptable. Yeah, that's it. Brian Cook is won, and he came out of Mount Healthy High School. No stars, no glamour, no nothing. But my favorite is Terseon Wharton.

Terseon Wharton, who plays right next to Karloftus and Chris Jones, Missouri S&T, out of the All Great Lakes Valley Conference, undrafted, unstared, nobody nothing. And he's in the Super Bowl. Congratulations to the All Great Lakes Valley Conference. So I'm looking at what Missouri S&T stands for, and their website says, successful, talented. Actually, it's science and technology, which is kind of what I assumed, I guess. But that's, I like that. It's a good website. Sudafed and T.

That's right. I could use it. Don't mind if I do. Sleepy time. Mascots the bear. Look at him go. Slowly. He's racking up them zees.

Volume sleeper. How sick would it be if your mascot celebrated T.D. by reclining and just. sleeping time bear get that shit sleepy time bear that's a group that's a group effort like somebody rolls out the little armchair somebody puts your little nightcap on you somebody wraps up a blanket

somebody brews a mug of celestial seasonings oh that bear is just farming aura that's right that's like that's my only zoomer slang I like is farming or farming aura just the bear farming aura and the cheerleaders are like

Yeah, get it. Go, go, go, yeah. Philadelphia Eagles offense. Philadelphia Eagles offense. Holly, would you care to guess? Would you care to guess how many five-star high school recruits are currently on the Philadelphia Eagles offense? It's cool. Oh, shit, I'm busy.

No, the dog, sorry, the dog just came in and very nearly head-butted my laptop off the desk, but it did unplug everything. Thanks, Betty. Rude. Philly offense, five stars? Yes. Two. Very, very close. One.

One. Yes. Scale player or lineman? Lineman. Is Atlanta Dickerson? It is. It is the, at a Hicker in North Carolina's finest. Wait, is he all right?

Did we get a report on him? He's listed as questionable. Yeah. Which probably means no, he will be replaced by three-star recruit, Tyler Steen Tyler Steen They'll shuffle You'll see the shuffle

It's fine You'll see some shuffling I'm surprised Devanto wasn't a five star I know me too So I just looked at it up After you said one So it's not cheating

But he was in 247 But apparently not in the composite Not in the composite Yeah Which it must be like rivals Just fucking hates him or something Yeah They probably said with pro guys

Where they're like He's real skinny which they're going to keep saying that. They'll be like, man, he's the skinniest Hall of Famer I've ever seen in my life. That is a huge disparity. Yeah. It's weird. It is a weird disparity.

Barclay. Sequin Barclay was not a five-star. That doesn't entirely surprise me because I feel like who becomes a five-star running back is not necessarily. Like the correlation between running back and college, there's just so much that can change with strength and conditioning and system. Like, yeah. I feel like you've seen a lot. I don't know. That one is a little less shocking. Probably like, his thighs are too big. They're going to explode.

He's definitely hyped. It's just, you know, five stars. There's only going to be like 25 five stars in the country. Right. Right. You can see now, the line is a real interesting guess because line is just all over the place. It's obviously most of a roster when you look at like, you know, sheer numbers of people who have X by their name, linemen, you know, are most of the roster. So they're going to be all over the place. But like, Kansas City has Joe Thuny, who is two stars. out of NC State. They got Mike Calyenda, who was two stars out of Western

Michigan. They got a bunch of like guys who you go, eh. Does Lane Johnson even have a 247 number? So the Eagles have the coolest profile in terms of, the Eagles offense has the coolest profile in terms of where the fuck did you find these guys. We'll look at the Eagles defense and you're going to see, they shop

strictly from the top shelf liquor. They do pretty much what you would do. They're like, take the five steps. Take the most expensive. They're doing James Franklin shopping okay they're just like yeah get get the shit that costs the most uh on offense though we get some like weird bargain deals some weird ebay purchases that just really panned out really well like jordan mylotta do you know what his high school is listed as australia

i love that jordan mylotta went to australia high school That sounds like something Unconvincing you say at customs It is What high school did you go to? Australia, let me hit Yeah, I have a girlfriend She goes to Australia high school

When your mom's like Whose house were you at? Australia Jimmy Australia He goes to Scorpion Bay Junior College Oh, that's also going to be Let's reserve that as well

Yep, save that. Erotic thriller list. Scorpion, yeah. Now, as we all know. That's what the pubic cares for, so you can't see the scorpions. Sure. Now, he did,

Jordan Milata did come over from rugby, right? Like, that's, he came over via the International Pathway program. So, and he's like, obviously their star. He's, you know, the biggest name, biggest amount of success that any of those guys has had. So it's... Wonderful singing voice, by the way. Like an angel. I own two...

God damn angel. I own two Philadelphia Eagles Christmas albums, just so you know. Because they have Jason Kelsey who kind of does like... He either does like joke karaoke voice or sometimes he lapses into like Eddie Vedder. Yes. Right, right, right. Hey, Ryan, can I ask a question? Yeah.

So I've had this question for Bo too recently about him and his Detroit Lions, but do you have a... Do you have a specific point? point in your own personal timeline where you realized, oh, this has crossed over from being a bit? Follow up question. Was it the jacket? The jacket definitely cemented it, I think, but it probably wasn't the first. Like, I don't, I would have to go back and look. I am sure that there is a game the Eagles lost that I was like, oh, no, I care about this now. I'm going to, Spencer, you keep going with the game. I'm going to see if I can. find what game that would have been. It's just, it's something I've had on my mind since talking to some

folks after the other show about Jason and Spencer speaking their Warhammer thing into existence, like, ha ha, joking. Um, I can, I actually know the answer to this. The 2022 NFC championship, the one where the Eagles played the Niners and the Niners ended up with no quarterback. It, it's just a completely lopsided game. I was watching this in a sports bar in Savannah of all places that had a mix of like niners and eagles fans and i was just the worst i was just like such an asshole in this like runaway game i can't picture you doing yeah yeah i was like openly laughing and pointing at sad niners fans that i didn't know for no reason that's probably the time when it really took hold you you really went through you went through the looking

glass and then you threw a battery at it yeah this does really sound like uh adopt not only the rooting interest, but also the character. That's right. The ethics, the values. I think the penny jacket was like your mask moment, right? Yeah, it's put it on and you were like, it's, it's, it's the hair transplanted in the Simpsons. Oh, no, I'm snake now. You said mask and I was thinking mask on, but no, this is mask as in the mask, which is another Roku movie.

Yeah, yeah. That you came on and you were like, pole climbing. Somebody fight me. And you did a dance number to fly eagles fly? Yeah, like all came together. That's right. That's right. But, yeah, Maelada is, Milaata will sometimes call himself.

He'll say, I went to Jeff Stoutland University, which is his offensive line coach, because he can't say that he went to a school. He just came over from being a big-ass dude playing rugby. Playing rugby, yeah. Yeah. Went from the rabbit toes to the Eagles, which I think formally makes Jordan Milata the rowdyest player in international sports. that he was an Australian rugby player and now he's an offensive lineman for the Eagles he is officially

the rowdiest lad like there is not a second place and then the other one that is real weird who is their no star hero Lane Johnson's not quite it because he went to kill he went to like Kilgore Community College

but then he went to OU so like he he was a no star guy coming out so that's fair but the dude who is like the nothing no stars, no nothing, didn't even play at FBS. Who is that?

Shit. Who is it? I can't think of who it would be. Taitan Dallas Goddard. I thought Dallas Goddard played at South Dakota State. He did, but that's like that's not. Oh, right, not FBS. Okay, yeah, sorry.

Yeah. Okay. He came out of, like, if you look at his, his recruiting profile is no. His recruiting profile is just like, right, right. Right. Right.

But that's how you end up, that's how you end up racking up yards for the jacks, baby. He said he had absolutely nothing. And then ended up stiffing, stiff arming the same man three times on one play against the back. Some of a bad moment. You know what? The third one was unnecessary.

No, I disagree. So, yeah, they've got like, they've got some weird guys. They've got some weird dudes over on offense. Jason. on the defense how many five stars would you like to select as your guess for how many five star prospects the Eagles very expensive defense has

so the Eagles defense is composed of players that they just watched the national title game wrote down some names and just remember to pick those I'm going to go with everybody but the white cornerback that is a really really good guess but I was surprised. There were only three consensus five stars. Only three. That's a lot. That's a ton.

Embarrassing signing class. I would be, if there is a unit in the NFL that has more than three, I would be surprised just because there are so few five stars. That is a real interesting quest that we can go on. But three five stars, those five stars are Jalen Carter,

Nolan Smith Jr., and Josh Swet. I was just going to say, I bet Josh Sweat's the other one. Josh Sweat. Those three are the five stars. By the way, every player from Wisconsin who made any of these rosters is a three-star because I think I'm ready to officially proclaim Wisconsin

as our most three-star program. They're the most three-star, like, three-star-ass program. And that is not an insult. That's just like, man, do you want value? Three stars. That's for a long time. Their whole thing was four-star results with three-star inputs.

And they were very serious about that. Quinion Mitchell's probably two or three-star, right? Three. He's the three star out of Toledo, yeah. Definitely you should draft the guy who before it was a thing. Nick Saban was like, oh, yeah, we tried to cheat to get him. There's only, the low man here is the highest low man of any of these units, right? Typically, there's somebody who's either an undrafted, right?

But the lowest man here is Milton Williams. Milton Williams was a two-star out of Lotech. Everyone else on the defense is glossy, expensive three-star or up, right? Even Cooper Dejean, Cooper DeGine was a four-star prospect out of Iowa, which I didn't even know those were legal. I thought you had to come in as the three-star, because they were like, got to be greedy. That's why they made him return punts, too. You got to do two things, so that way you're two-star. It's a two-star punt returner.

I wasn't going to get this instant pot, but it does so many things, yeah. Got to make it worth it. I'm doing my laundry in it. I'm like you're putting into its spaces. Why do we both have the same fucked up du long? I guess it's a miracle they didn't make him play quarterback too or fuck maybe they did

spoiler they did I wouldn't have noticed yeah what please do you notice do you know that anybody didn't play quarterback for them it's hard to say that they did put any name in and sure they could run anyone the one that still surprises me is Jordan Davis was a three star like I that always

is the wildest thing to me that a guy who is the size of a bus who runs of what four eight or whatever a four seven is it was a three-star. Damn. It's insane to be.

I wonder if it took him some time to make his physique mobile. Especially because he had a ton of offers. He had a ton of offers. He was Georgia, obviously. Florida, Florida State, Miami, and Michigan. So he was already 3.30 in high school, which is basically his NFL playing weight. I'm guessing he just didn't quite have the mobility yet.

That might have been. been it. They might have also been, it just might have been like, I don't know, sometimes dudes just get missed. I don't know you miss him, though. He's the size of a fucking house. But also, Georgia took him. You know, he didn't, like, he didn't get missed in a weird way.

Yeah. Which, in case, like, you didn't need Kirby to feel better about himself. This feels like an example of, like, you know, like, every back in the days when everyone complained about recruiting ratings a lot, now people just go along with him. There is a thing about, like, Alabama would offer a guy and their star rating would go up.

Jordan Davis is an example of a guy whose star rating should have probably gone up based on the offers. Like, there's lots and lots of powers here. Yeah, the other one is, the other one that it's very weird to me is when you look at this and go, huh, you had Jalen Hertz as a four-star. Like, Jailet Hertz to me is the most, like,

high school genius quarterback, right? Like, a guy who you were like, what did he do? He probably ran a glorified single wing and threw like eight huge play action passes a game, right? Like, he would have gigantic numbers playing against inferior talent. It was a four-star.

Not a bad thing, but that's a great thing. Yeah, but Jaylen Hertz played in Texas. Yeah. And I think that's the thing where it's like, you can be, you can be awesome and be the, like, sixth best quarterback in Texas.

You can be awesome and be, you can be Patrick Mahomes and they look at you at high school and go three stars. Yeah, we got a few of those. Right. And also, I mean, if you're, if you're Jalen Hurts with his play style in Texas, like, you know, there's lots of,

like whipping the ball around and then you got this guy who plays that guy's destined to be an eagle yeah there's a lot of like cam ward two stars don't yeah cam ward don't offer him a scholarship it's no it's got to be so easy to recruit quarterbacks in texas yeah they're just all there yeah that's why those teams are so good at college football yeah it's like it's just like cats man They're going to make more. Go get one. It's easy. They're all over the place.

That's how cats work, but okay. It is. Yeah. There's just cats all over the place. Leave a door open long enough. Yeah. Bud, if you're listening, you're not.

Free idea. 247 cat rankings. Oh, my God. Just, you know, that tabby? Garbage tabby. Let's look at potals here. I paid a thousand dollars to get Bud to rank my cat

the 247 rankings. Mr. Whisker's got a great three technique. Mew 4-7. Wow. More like 24-9 for their lives. The composite. God! Thanks.