Shutdown Fullcast - ABANDON THE SUPER LEAGUE, EMBRACE THE REGULAR LEAGUE

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

- One easy trick to derail your Iditarod opponents - Why Texas A&M decided to ruin an entire ingredient for everyone - Only Future Spencer can decide what we do on this episode - Preparing for the big brands to abandon the rest of college football - Which leads to Duke, USF, and Boise State sharing a conference - And Georgia Tech, Navy, and Marshall sharing another - And Louisville, Oregon State, and UTEP sharing yet another - This is a good plan, and thorough, and we will accept a modest fee for our efforts - This week's theme performed by Corey Cunningham - Visit preownedairboats.com for merch - Go buy Jason's book, Hell Is a World Without You Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh... ...and... ...of... Welcome For the shutdown forecast The internet's only college football podcast My name is Jason Kirk Join today by Ryan Nanny

Hi As well as Michael Serber Pleased to be with you we are gathered here today without Holly or Spencer who have transported elsewhere via the portal

haven't we all in one sense or another but I feel confident they'll transfer back at some point very soon have we gotten one of those in the portal yet have we gotten somebody who left for a year and then came back

it's the old clips it's like the full cast or with With college football, Clemson is ironically enough the only team that's done that. Yeah. With Hunter Johnson,

he transferred and then went to Northwestern. That's right. And then came back for his final year at Clemson. That's right. Which is probably just a way to dunk on like nerdy private schools, right? Like, ah, he didn't have any fun there.

See how much better we are at school. It just also shows our dedication to not using the transfer portal. Like we will only use a transfer portal to reclaim players that should have never been there in the first place. To prodigal. that shit. That's right. Yeah. Well, like, yeah, most cults completely severed ties with you once you're out. Like, you are the ultimate. You are the worst of the worst. So it's, it's cool that Dabo's modified his cult in that way. Dabo the Redeemer. It's kind of like a Clemson Rum Springer, I think is what it is. At Northwestern, I'm going to go feel my oats in

Evanston. God, that's the worst spring break ever. It's time to get crazy. Having bored myself to tears, I've decided to come home and wasted all my my money on nothing exciting. On very heavy pizza. That's what I wasted my money. I'm wasting my money on driving to Chicago and back. Speaking of transport, the Iditarod is underway right now. And I don't know if either of y'all have seen,

but there's a lot of moose shenanigans with this year's Iditarod. The five-time Iditarod champion Dallas C-V-Sevie, C-V, C-V, one of those, had to kill and gut a moose after it injured one of his sled dogs. This is in line with the rules. I think it's Rule 34 for the Iditarod. Wait, which rule is it? Rule 34. Okay, okay.

Yeah. Hold on. I'll pull it up right now for you. Yes. Careful. Careful. The Iditarod has a rule that if you encounter a game animal, which are moose, caribou, or buffalo, for example, if you kill them in defense of life or property, the musher must get the animal, must gut the animal, sorry,

and report the incident to a race official at the next checkpoint. Following teams must help gut the animal when possible. No teams may pass until the animal has been gutted, and the musher killing the animal has proceeded. So it's basically, I guess, a caution flag, but for gutting an animal? It's like hitting a banana. Mm-hmm. Yep. Any other animal killed in defense of life or property

must be reported to a race official, but need not be gutted. So, Serbri, you had questions, I had questions as well. as well. Do you want to begin? Where do we all want to go? I just, um, he had to kill the moose. He said, so, so. Don't that the rule set? This is a sleigh pulled by dogs that can get away from things pretty fast, right? So, so he said, uh, the moose became entangled with the dogs and the musher and he was forced to shoot the moose with a handgun in self-defense. This is

from a statement from the Iditarod itself. He told, he told, TV crew. It fell on my sled and it was sprawled on the trail. Damn. I'm assuming the gutting is to like to make it easier for predators to come dispose of that thing. I don't like what why do they have to gut that but if he comes across a bear and takes it down the bear does not get gutted. So they can't reanimate I think. Ah, this is like a walker thing on the walking dead. Yeah. It's like you kill a zombie via its head. A moose's brain is in its gut.

The Iditarod says, we are making sure that every attempt is made to utilize and salvage the moose meat. Oh, so you've gained 50 pounds of meat. So I think, I think it's like a, it's weirdly like a responsible, uh, ecology kind of thing. But, but like, moose will attack people on people on this race. Unless they're going to dogs. Yeah.

Yeah. I've heard it, I've heard about in Maine that they have a problem with people when they visit stopping to see the moose and it's a real, but they, it's like, a big law, you can't do that in that state because there's a lot, like people hit moose all the time. It's like the number one cause of accident there. Yes, yes. Moose.

Moose attack more people than bears. Meese. I think it's just moose. Moose. Moses. Moses. I think this is one of several signals that we just shouldn't be there. If we can't drive cars or have dog races

or any of these other things without moose encounters, I think that's nature's way of telling us there are other places we could live. Now, this was not the first moose encounter in the Iditarod this year. The leader of the current race, or at least is the time this CBS News article was published, named Jesse Holmes, said, quote, I had to punch a moose in the nose out there. Sure.

He told the camera crew, but didn't offer other details. So this doesn't count as, this doesn't invoke, Rule 34, if it's merely... No, no, if you, as long as you, as long as you leave the moose alive and I guess not seriously, well, I guess alive, yeah, you're good to go. Rule 34 only applies to killing of game animals, not punching of them in the face. It's fucked up. Rule 34 and moose punch, definitely. Lots of urban dictionary to be found there.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Unclair if this was the same moose, I will say, if a moose got punched in the face, and decided to go back for more, I understand how this went. I think if an unrelated moose just happened to come upon the Iditarod after a different moose had started some shit, I feel a little bit more bad for that moose.

So is this a situation where, say, you're in the lead, and you have found a way to conjure a moose behind you. You've summoned a moose. Now, no one behind you can pass you until they deal with the moose. It's just like dropping a banana peel. Yes, as long as they have to either avoid the moose

or they have to kill and gut it. Now, if they kill and gut it, nobody can pass them. But I guess there's no rule that says if you're ahead of them, you can't keep going. Yeah, so just spam mooses over your shoulder. You just have to figure out the SimCity code

for generate moose. It's probably that. Yeah, that's a good plan. Okay. I just wanted everybody to be aware out there. If you decide on a whim to enter the world's most famous dog sledding race and you kill a moose, you better be prepared to do some light butchery. You're going to end up inside that taunton.

You cannot just leave it there. Just don't even try. And when I'm gutting a taunton, I reach for a crystal servesa. There might be one in there, in fact. The other news item that I wanted to bring to everyone's attention, attention. This is not, I think this is not actually new because I found a Dallas magazine article on it from, uh, 2023. It's about jalapeno peppers that are less spicy than ever. And this has to do with, um, uh, crossbreeding and work that, uh, uh, man has done to cultivate less spicy

peppers over time for for different uses. This is definitely the fault of England colonizing the world. White people are to blame for this. In this case, we're talking about a pepper that debuted in 2002

called the Tam 2, Roman Emerald 2, jalapeno line. Quote, a reliably big, shiny, fleshy pepper that can grow up to six inches long with little to no heat they have become some of the most popular in the processing business they have viruses virus resistance earlier maturation uh and so on and so forth um these are jalapeno peppers that are milder than a poblano now it's called the t a m2 because it's an

invention of texas a&m university and i don't know why this is just coming up now, but I have had at least a couple people ask me to sue on their, I'm not a lawyer lawyer. They would like to sue Texas A&M for despicing jalapeno peppers. And I think they have an interesting case, if nothing else. It did make me want to go back and look at 2002 Texas A&M football. Oh, I bet it was real spicy. This is that. Is that the newsletter year? This is a, this is, this is, this is R.C. Slocum's last year, so it's before the newsletter year. Yeah.

This is a team that is still in the Big 12 at that point, obviously, went six and six. The wins included a 1412 win over Pitt, a 30 to 26 win over number one Oklahoma. somehow, but we have a 4847 OT lost Texas Techs, a 13-3 loss to Virginia Tech, a 7-point loss to a Nebraska team. That's a Frank Solich, Nebraska team, so fine, nothing amazing. And ending the year with a 50 to 20 loss to number 10, Texas. That's what did it. That's what did it. That is...

We've got to feel less of the world. We've got to make everything less intense. It all hurts too bad. We're making... We're making peppers cold. We're having a very bad time, but we're going to... It's how we're going to get those stupid longhorns back.

We're going to ruin their chili forever. It's funny texting because when it first it comes... The peppers are ruined. I'm like, oh, because of wokeness. But no, it turns out it's in fact quite the opposite. That's right. um so yeah those are those are the two big news items i have these are the only important things that are happening in the world of sports

yeah so now we're all caught up so if a moose is properly seasoned does it need to be gutted like if if a moose is um if you can find a real pepper brother yeah you can't that's right anymore can't use can't use one of these diet peppers because of the fucking economy fucking keto pepper over here absolutely not So you just got to cure that moose instead of gutted, I guess? It takes a long time. Salt cure it and wait. You're losing that fucking race.

Standing around waiting on the moose. Then you got to smoke it. My God. You're going to be there for days. But, I mean, totally worth it. So flavorful. You and the other losers are going to have a really great feast. getting rid of a moose burger you lost the iditarod by like eight days but what a feast

was had i think to be fair it's probably better to lose the iditarod by eight days than instead of eight minutes you know probably just be like you know what i had a chill time grilled some moose had a had a good ass time with me and my dogs do all that yeah if if you lose by if you lose by eight minutes you were still like fucking miserable the entire time and the sense and the crowd does not care about you because they did experience a sensation of here's the winner and then just looking for eight minutes waiting for someone else yep we're going to listen to three pop songs and then here you are yep at the commercial break let's see I look back at the closest to finishes in the I did a rod 1978 race was neck and neck by one

second Jesus how much does that suck do all that shit to lose by one second. Should have spammed a moose. A single conjuration of a moose could have solved that problem. It's an old spell, but still quite effective. Even just like a cardboard cut out of moose might have fucking done it for, just need to say, ah, God, Jesus. Because I'm like, oh, fuck, it's going to take so long to gut that moose.

Wait a minute. Oh, I've been bamboozled. Maybe that's how the other guy got the second ahead, though. Yeah. The old fake mousse trick. The old inflatable moose. See, this is what the EA sports game needs. Like, this is the type of shit going.

This is why they're scared to have FCS football. This is the type of shit going on in FCS football. That's right. That's right. Because it happens in parts of the world. So we're here today to talk about unionization efforts in college football and to break down what they mean for the future of the sport. We've brought on our legal analysts and our labor experts to explain this.

decision to us. As always, we're talking about Dartmouth. No, we're actually not. I assume whatever's going on there is pretty cool, but we'll be squashed. That's usually just my assumption on F. I think a good way to look at life in the modern world is cool things happen and then they are taken away. Sure, yeah.

And the NCAA, like, that's their whole raison d'être at this point. It's like, hey, go do some cool shit. it, then we'll take it from you. You can't have that anymore. Yeah. One of the, uh, one of the, uh, one of the cool things is, um, conferences as we know them. Those were really cool. Weren't those cool guys? Didn't, wasn't it nice when you knew like who was in your

conference and there was a sense of why they were in the conference? I had no idea how much I liked them until they didn't exist anymore. Um, we have, I don't know. I don't know when we first. sort of like, and I don't mean we on this podcast, but we as people who care about college football, sort of started contemplating the idea of a super league. I know you can go way back to like the airplane, the airplane league or whatever it was called when, uh, there, there have been ideas for years to sort of say like, hey, we should build like big coast to coast leagues of

prominent names and brands, this, that, and the other. Uh, the Southern Conference, which all your favorite SEC and ACC schools, uh, were originally. a part of was this huge fucking league. Now, granted, everybody played like three conference games, so it wasn't that meaningful of a conference in a lot of regards. But it's not entirely

new, but, like, do either of you have a sense of when we first started going down this road of, like, we are marching towards a two brand Big Ten SEC Super League? It has to predate the collapse of the Pac-12, but not by a ton, I don't think. Well, I think

everyone saw it coming and everyone was sort of competing to be the one to say it is just around the corner like that was going on for over a decade like you know back into I'm pretty sure you could find people saying that in the 90s once like fSU in Arkansas moved around um in Penn State and like definitely in the 2010s it felt like every time there was a move I mean there was a really big flurry and nobody knew when it would end that entire time, it was media members. When the big East collapsed and all of that? All that, yeah, yeah. I definitely remember

it was like you got a lot of engagement. If you said, now, it's happening tomorrow. The end is here. Right? People love saying the end is near. And then we just sort of looked up one day and Fox told the Big Ten to go eat the pack 12. Oh, okay, there's the end.

It was that simple all along. Yeah. Yeah. So, we're, you know, as of March 5th when we're recording this, there is no Super League. There are still multiple FBS conferences. We are still, I guess, doing a 12-team playoff. Like, that's the thing that seems least settled. If we can hold it to 12 at this point. I mean, I mean.

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one of the greatest concert experiences I've ever had in my entire life. And I'll be using them again. In fact, I'm seeing a little bit called the beaches in late September. And where did I get my ticket? That's right. Even ahead of time. I didn't wait until the last minute because GameTime.com has you covered then as well. That's what I love about it. Whenever I want to get a ticket for an event, whether I heard about it months before and procrastinated to no end and have left myself in a lurch, you can save up to 60% of buying last minute for sports, concerts, comedy, theater, anything else. So take the guesswork out of buying MLB tickets with Game Time. You can download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Fullcast for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code F-U-L-L-C-A-S-T for $20 off. Download game time today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. So I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to lay out a choice for y'all. I have either a silly thing we can do with regards to the playoff or a silly thing we can do with regards to the Super League. And you can tell me which direction you want to take this show. You're in the production meeting, audience. Congratulations.

Folks, sound off if you want. Go ahead and tweet us. After this episode goes out with which one you wanted and see who's disappointed. Tweet at Spencer. Tell him which of these two ideas you would like. Don't tell him, don't give him. don't give him any more contacts than this.

Just say like realignment. Just tweet either Super League or Playoff. Just tweet either Super League or Playoff. Press one for Super League, two for playoff. Give him one of those two numbers, all right? And then he will tabulate and he will come back in time and he will let us know. So I've selected. It feels like playoff is a good idea, obviously.

But let's save that one for when we have a full crew so that they can be held accountable for the decisions that you give them. Okay, okay. So Super League feels very fitting for here in the entering the true off season. Okay, so here's what we're going to do. I have, this is Andy Staples' 48-team Super League version. I'm going to drop it in the chat for you all. You can see it.

Well, I don't know. You can find it. It's not hard. It's on-on-three. How would a college football Super League look? Let's imagine a 48-team version. Andy has built a big 10 and an SEC, each with, I believe, four divisions? That's right.

We're not going to do that. We're going to say like, okay, that's the Super League. Our job now that I am putting upon us is to take the rest of college football and put them into coherent conferences and segments so that everybody else who's not part of the Super League, can either have the return to sanity that maybe you want, can embrace new regional rivalries, can just try something completely different. So, I think the way this is going to work that makes the most sense to my broken brain, Jason, I'm going to put you in charge of the post-SEC South. server I'm going to put you in charge of whatever the ACC is after this

and you'll be able to see which teams aren't here I think I'll take the West Coast and we'll give the Big Ten the left over and we'll give the Big Ten or the not Big Ten I don't well let's decide do we want this to have a Big Ten I guess the Big 12

is the thing that would remain, right? Let's make it the Mac. All right, we'll make it the Mac. We'll have the new, all right, so here's what we're going to have. We're going to have three things. We'll just call it the Socon. You get to run that, Jason.

Server, you're in charge of the ACC. I'm going to call it the very big 12. And that's going to be the Southwest and the West Coast. And the new Mac. Those are the four conferences that we have. And we're just going to go ahead and divvy this stuff up. So I can go ahead and keep track. And Jason, I want you to go ahead and pick out three teams that are not in the Super League,

but that you think deserve entrance into the SoCon. So this is fun because as you speak, I'm trying to set up a spreadsheet of who is not already selected. So let's see. While you do that, I'm going to give the listeners just a quick rundown of who is in. Andy's Super League. Here's the Big Ten. Penn State, Florida State, UNC, UVA, Pitt, Maryland, Michigan, Michigan State, Notre Dame, Indiana, Purdue Rutgers, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Northwestern Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, UCLA, USC, Oregon, Washington, Utah, Nebraska. Here's the SEC. Florida, Georgia, Clemson, NC State, South Carolina, Miami.

Alabama, Auburn, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia Tech, Arkansas, Old Miss, Mississippi State, Missouri, LSU of Andy, Texas, Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Kansas State. Those are your off-limit teams because Andy has already claimed them for the Super League. So, whenever you're ready, you can get us rolling, Jason. I'm making a tremendous amount of progress on this spreadsheet. Let's see, so, um, so I have the entire Socon footprints to work with here. Mm-hmm. Oh, I forgot Auburn. Auburn's gone.

So, God, this sucks. This really sucks. Did you, you already see the predicament that these poor schools are in? It's not going to be an easy job, but it is an important one. Yes. So in the state of Texas, Texas, A&M, and Tech are gone. Baylor's still around. Houston, North Texas, Rice, Sam Houston, SMU, TCU,

are the options. Utep, UTSA. Good Lord. I think I'm going to start in Texas. Okay. Um Baylor, I don't see a ton of enormous upside there. I feel like I'm zeroing in on Houston and SMU.

Okay. Um, and I think we're going to lock down that big media market of Houston with my first pick. Okay. I'm going to let you take three teams right off the bed. Okay, so I get, I get three total. Okay, well, get SMU also. Uh-huh. And fuck, Baylor, come on down.

Okay, not TCU. interestingly. Yeah, I think they've done all they can. Okay. Okay. Serber, go ahead and pick three ACC teams from the remainder. Yep. I'm adopting the common mindset of the ACC, which is that football does not matter.

So if you're good at football, not really interested in having you in my conference. I'm going to stick with history early on by giving Duke and Wake Forest. a spot in the ACC and we will keep in between those schools we will keep our conference headquarters in Greensboro and North Carolina we will also add

a school of the same ilk in a baseball powerhouse in Vanderbilt to the ACCC Vanderbilt is not available they're not available Vanderbilt was conscripted into I know Vanderbilt made it into

the Super League All right well then once again football is not important Boston College will remain in the ACC Wow Duke Wake Forest Boston College in the ACC

All right so we're sticking to some traditions here That's good, that's important The very big 12 Gosh So Jason not taking TCU means I have to grab them I think that's just be

That's just the responsible thing to do at this point And I don't believe I'm going to check this. Yes, neither of the Arizona schools are on this list. So I'm going to go ahead and grab Arizona and Arizona State as I rebuild

America's greatest west of the Mississippi conference. We're going to save the new Mac. We're going to deal with them later. Maybe we'll let Holly and Spencer sort that out later. Okay. Jason, give me three more so-con teams.

All right. I have in my spreadsheet process, I have removed teams that are no longer do I get to pick another three yeah yeah okay this is how realignment it's not for like oh just pick off a team here now it's like go get big chunks

go bulk shopping all right so you took TCU right out from under me then you look like a real asshole yep um so I could but that's good because now with TCU and SMU and Baylor we have like a good cross-conference rivalry thing oh yeah yeah we've already built up all sorts of hatred

between our two reject yeah yeah yeah um so neighboring states uh the oklahoma's available oklahoma states available right no uh no they're not brutal iowa status available but oklahs just i'm just letting you know so let's see louisiana's the louisianas who are available uh two lanes around yeah um all right i'm gonna grab two lane okay uh that is the only Louisiana i'm in the market for okay um Arkansas's, it's only Arkansas State. No, thank you. Mississippi's. I'm just working my way across the map here. Yay, Southern Miss is here. Is Memphis around? Can I, I, I was going to say, can I entice you with a Memphis?

Yeah, I'm going to take Memphis. So I got Memphis and Tulane. Yeah. And then we're working over to Tennessee where the only one available is Mitsu. No, thank you. All right, so I'm going to grab somebody from Alabama. Who's making the cut? UAB, Troy, South Alabama, and Jacks, State. Well, we're going for big markets. Come on down, UAB. Okay, all right. Okay.

This is a good, this is a good SOCON you've put together so far. I'm building the, like, AAC from a few years ago. Your brand is, yes, it is very American Athletic Conference. It's a very death of the Southwest Conference. Okay. Server. You get to pick three more ACC teams. apologies if I've missed you guys taking any of these

I don't think you did though that's all right I'm going to continue another ACC tradition of Atlantic is just an option and we're going to mirror on the West Coast with Stamford Cal and Washington State we're going to Poland

welcome back to a power conference Washington State wow okay you know what sadly this makes more sense than the current version of these schools it's a mirror it's a mirror right now geographically of one another. Sure.

Okay. I hope this also means you'll be playing your conference title game in Lawrence. No, it'll be in Charlotte. The game will be in Charlotte, North Carolina. Gotcha. Okay. Let's see. For the very big 12, I think I want Air Force.

I want a little bit of Service Academy flare going on here. and then I want Kansas is still on the board I want them and I will take Iowa State I will go ahead and and and and stretch a little bit in some regards but yeah I'll I'll bring in two

two former Big 12 members and a service academy because why not and Jason that puts it back on you all right I feel good about this group all right We are going to We're going to take over so much of the universe here. We're going to expand it to Georgia

where Georgia Tech I don't believe has been claimed by... That is correct. Georgia Tech was not in a super conference and is available. So we have another big market, a former national champion. SEC original, baby. All the Georgia fans who have tech season tickets, I can count

on their attendance, I'm certain of it. Having built all these spaceships, what are we going to do with them? That's right. UCF, we're going to fucking space. And what is space, if not an ocean? Ryan, I am entering your service academy market. We are taking Navy.

And I'm barreling into server geography as well. Man, okay. Okay. So you have now a conference that stretches from Texas down in Florida up to Annapolis. Yeah. But still fairly geographically coherent. It's barely across the line from Virginia, which... Sure. Sure.

Zerber, obviously, you have gone with your bi-coastal from Boston to North Carolina. So where are we going next, bud? Okay, all right. So I've thought long and hard about this, and once again, I want to stick with the tradition of this doesn't make any sense. Yeah. I like teams with different colored field turf. So we're going to take the Boise State Broncos and their blue turf. We're going to take the coastal Carolina Chanticleer's and the surf turf.

and we're also going to take the Eastern Michigan Eagles I believe they play on gray turf Wow Beautiful I'm gonna I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna make sure Yeah Boise did not make the cut In the I didn't think they did yeah

No you're correct so okay Okay You again you've you've You've built like a good 14 cluster Out West Eastern Michigan is very lonely right now But that's okay Just give a time.

We'll get further away from them somehow or another. You have strong Carolina roots going on still, which is important. Okay, okay, okay. Interesting, fascinating. Hmm. Now I have some tricky choices to make. Let me check. Utah did, in fact, make the cut, which is unfortunate because I would really like to have them in my conference,

but that's just not going to be an option. uh you know who didn't make the cut for the super league and and i'm a little surprised but i'm also not louisville louisville you're going to be in the big in the new big 12 you know why because it doesn't matter you've been in like eight different conferences already like you have no this is not that important to you you are a team that can deal with this um i i uh uh gosh. I want to give Air Force a good rival, but obviously I can't give them Navy. And I don't, I think Army's a little bit of a stretch. Um, yeah, we'll throw Colorado State in there. That's not a huge value add across the board. But you know what we'll do to counter it

to add a little more, uh, consistently here? We'll add Colorado as well. Okay. That's, that's, that's not bad. As long as Dion stays, you're, getting TV ratings there. Yeah, yeah. So for the next six months. Yeah, okay. All right, Jason, you are up to, you have nine teams in your conference.

We're at least going to add three more. We may go deeper than that, but let's just start with three more and see what happens. So because of our bizarre map situation, we have only begun to step on each other's toes. Ryan Louisville was one you took for me. I assume as revenge for taking nation.

maybe um i do know that i'm going to take uh duke because i i i mean we duke in houston oh no no no oh shit duke's gone sorry sorry sorry a founding member of the acc never mind well we still have houston so we still have basketball um virginia's still available right um virginia made the cut virginia's in the super league yeah damn i'm so bad at spreadsheets no it's okay it just it's virgin in andy's version virginia is a member of the Big Ten Atlantic. Okay. Oh, man, there goes my entire round, just like that.

All right, so I'm not going to California. We can't afford it. Sure. Yukon is really pushing it. I don't know if we're going to expand that far north, the Socon. The Socon brand? The options down here are getting slim. App State, Charlotte, ECU, and Wake.

uh who do i believe in most they're going wake's gone too wake's gone jesus fuck yeah cc baby so i definitely have to take out there is there is a north there is another north carolina school you can take uh i oh no no no nc state's gone i'm sorry nc state was already gone yeah you're right um i'm taking app state app state i'm finally finally stopped the bleeding by finding a school that's still available i think that's smart um in virginia we have jm u

Old Dominion and another university. How long can JMU hang? I'm going to bet on JMU. Yeah, I think that's a good plan. We're going upside there. And so I feel like, so thinking about how this map scans, it's, it's feeling pretty balanced, I think. I'd like another, I have an Alabama.

I don't really feel, not feeling any of the Mississippi. Let's dip back into Texas Let's take another look at Texas North Texas Rice Texas State Utep and UTSA UTSA, come on I got UTSA

Okay Lovely That's four in Texas for me Okay Yeah This is a good This is a good conference you've put together I'm going to start splitting mine up by division

To see how are we allowed to decide How many we want to add Yeah I think we can I think there's no reason These conferences have to be of equal size. So do you want to stop with this or do you want more teams? Let's see. Wait and see.

I'll let you start dividing while serve next. And we can revisit and see how you want to split up your conference. Server. You're next up. I believe it is time for me to finally I've tried very hard to avoid

football-centric places. But it's time to go into a place where football really matters and that's the state of Florida. my turf So we're gonna take Florida Atlantic Okay Yep

Hoot hoot Florida International Uh huh Oh shit Um And complete the set Go get South Florida baby I was gonna say

Is South Florida available if they are They are They are All right Yeah we're taking South Florida Surber now we have Several rivalries Between our

You got the war on I four Oh man yeah This is Surba you gotta take Army At some point So we each have one oh okay i am so i am so excited that duke is in a is in a conference with all these teams

like academic peers duke and f a u duke stanford cal and then he's like look out well well every other school in florida fucking great um all right i puts it back on me to start picking more teams for the very Big 12. I was potentially interested in some of those Florida teams, but that's not to be. I think

I only have one Texas school at this point in TCU, and that seems like a mistake. Jason, you took UTSA, yes? Still available in Texas are North Texas Rice, Texas State, and U-TEP. Yeah.

Um, let's take, let's take UTEP. Why not? Let's spread out a little bit. That's a lot of spreading. That's geography right there. Yeah, but I got teams in Colorado. I got teams in Arizona. Like, it makes some logistical sense.

I can, I feel like I can get away with that. And then let me have a, let me have an Arkansas state. I think that's a good program for occasional feciness And I think we can I think with the right messaging If Arkansas really struggles in the Super League I think we can convince people that Arkansas State is the true The Red Wolves are the true team

Of the state and all others should be abandoned And then This is where it gets tricky I'm not going to take Army because I do want Serber to have a good shot at that. I think that's only fair. Serber, are you going to want Oregon State? Oh, no, they don't really fit, I don't think.

They don't fit what you're doing. With the theme of the conference. Yeah, I hear that. That makes sense. Wow, man, the beavers are cool. They are cool. Like, there's a lot to like about it. It's not a bad choice by any stretch.

Oregon State's available. They're not in my top 10 right now. I'll say that. I might invite them to the Socon if they linger much longer. You know what I need? I need somebody good to go with Louisville. I'm going to take Cincinnati. Wow, that's a great choice.

They're not in the... Cincinnati is not in the Super League, and now they are back where they wanted to be in the Big 12th. I didn't even look to Ohio. Yeah, clearly spiritually ACC. That's my mistake. Okay. That's a great pick.

So Jason, we are, we're going to hit pause for a second and I'm going to review for the audience what you have you have can I tell can I break down the divisions oh please go ahead please so in the east we would have app state Georgia Tech JMU Navy UAB UCF uh-huh and in the west we would have Baylor Houston SMU Tulane UTSA and Memphis okay how are you feeling about that setup decent solid I wish we had more Florida okay um veering that far north was a Well, it'll give us a nice spotlight in early December, but it might be the only time we're featured in December, but it's nice to be, nice to have one important game all year. I think I would like to add a bit more.

Okay. I would also like to say you have a good set of destinations. Like, people in your conference get to travel to Houston. They get to go to New Orleans. They get to go to Memphis. They get to go to Orlando, Atlanta. Like, there's a good, they get to go to Boone. Like, there's, there's a good mix.

They get to go to, uh, they have to go to Waco. I don't know if they're excited, but they can't, but they can go to Dallas. Like, you have a good Birmingham's in there. You have a good mix of like places, not only people, I think would be interested in going, but also can get to relatively easily. So you've done, you have some thoughtful assembly here. I mean, between Atlanta, Houston, Memphis, and New Orleans, we have, we have a mixtape circuit here. That's right.

That's right. I'm putting the music of this conference up against anyone's. Well, I mean, server gets House of Pain, so you're going to have it on. Okay, do you want to add anybody else at this point? So, I think so. I would like to try to stay balanced. So let me see if, let me see about adding two. Okay.

And then see if I feel like there will be enough to risk coming back for a, another round. For a second helping, yeah. Yeah. Troy is still available. Is that right? Troy is still available. In the state of Georgia,

we have Georgia Southern, Georgia State, Kansas State. Georgia Southern is not really bringing a whole lot of eyeballs. It's typically competent, but Western Kentucky's still around. That's true. I don't have,

that would fill in a bit of my map. I'm going to go Western Kentucky. Okay, okay. And then... And you're placing them in the east? I'm going to place them in the east, yeah. for now who knows I might move these folks around

sure sure sure um and then west let us see uh Tulsa's there north Texas and rice Texas state um North Texas has a big stadium I know they don't really use most of it but

it's a good color I like the green as well you know It's true Coastal's around no they're not servers of them right yeah gosh Marshall's still here

I could slide someone over man this Yeah. We've hit the really hard choices portion of the program. Marshall kind of fits in with your App State JMU cluster. Our wide variety of academics. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Hmm. It will throw up your east-west distribution a little bit. Yeah, someone would have to move, which that's fine. Wait a second. I'm going to add Toledo is still around, right? Yeah. Okay, I'm taking Toledo. Okay.

Western Kentucky and Toledo. and then I guess we'll move WKU can move to the west Okay It's in the name That'll be fun Okay Serber

You have Have you split your Yours into divisions of any sort yet No but I am starting to think about geography And how I can maybe fix it Fix it a little bit So right now To recap you have Duke Wake Forest

Boston College I'm going to stick with your East Coast teams To start with Duke Wake Forest Boston College Coastal Carolina F-A-U-F-A-U-S-F Those are all clearly East Coast schools

On the West Coast you have Stanford, Cal, Wazoo, Boise State And you have Eastern Michigan And here as well A bit of an imbalance I feel like

Geographically So I have some good choices I hope that none of these have been taken yet Really strong choices for me To kind of even out the geographical imbalance Yukon Yeah, sure Damn.

You know, I mean, Boston College needs some help, so I'm focusing on them here. Syracuse? I want to make sure that, I don't think they made the Super Bowl. They're not on Andy's now. They have not been picked. Okay, yeah, you can have Syracuse. Syracuse, and people have been waiting for it. You know, I will win all the wars, Army.

Nice. Wow. There we are. Wow. So I think we fixed the imbalance that we had there. The West Coast is still pretty screwed, but that's a very stupid. Okay. Eastern Michigan's life did get measurably easier. That's the important thing. Yep.

Okay. So you are at some point where you're either going to have to have an imbalance conference or you're going to have to take at least one more team, but we'll come back to that. Okay. Let's see. I have no huge, I guess Cincinnati is like the most I have. I don't have any big stretches. I have everybody pretty well clustered. And I'm going to be honest. I am trending towards. Let's see, I have six, nine. I have 12 teams. I'm going to try to get to 16 teams and just do, um, and just do pods. Uh, let's see. So no, I, I've miscounted. Yeah, I have 12 teams. Uh, so I'm going to take three teams now and then add a fourth and I'm going to try to

just keep it all real geographically lined up and hope that that works. Um, I am running short on choices unfortunately uh texas team we left out of sam houston i don't want them but they are there um but bum let's see i think yeah i can justify unlv i'll take them oh yeah um i think they they make perfectly fine sense here um i haven't dipped i haven't really dipped into the south at all beyond Like Louisville is the best that I have there. And I don't, in Arkansas State, I don't think I need to, yeah, I'm not going to mess with that. Standard issue, Ohio has not been taken, I believe. Ohio Light is still there.

Okay. I'll go ahead and take, I'll go ahead and take the Bobcats. And then with my third pick, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, mm-hmm, the New Mexico's are there, but that's a little bit far. possibly I don't check one thing God Northwestern's in the Super League that's okay sure um

Bowling Green is an option no I think I'll take the Texas schools we have left because you took North Texas are just Rice Sam Houston and is that it? I believe

that's right uh Texas state is also here Texas state um bum mum um let's this is getting harder than I thought it would be this is this is the audio people are here for um I want to leave some some mac meat on the bone for them so I will go ahead and take I'll take uh okay i'll take i'll take rice we'll boost the academic profile a little bit here quite a uh texas is a real battleground texas is a battle and as it should be as it should be as it should be i mean

between our conferences and the SEC it's hard to say who has the best footing in this state there's no way there's no way to know there's simply no way let the games decide decided on the field Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Uh, okay. Jason, this is the point where you get to decide if you are going to keep adding or if you're going to stand pat. So I have two divisions of seven, pretty tidily split east and west. I could also go quadrant and have four pods of fours.

Yep. Um, if I did that, I could move Appstate to the southeast and add Marshall to the northeast, which would now be Marshall James. Navy Toledo giving us Georgia Tech UAVUCF an app in the southeast meanwhile we have a Texas quadrant of Baylor Houston SMUUTSA joining Memphis Tulane Western Kentucky will be the school I always get confused with Tulane for obvious reasons when I am sorting through alphabetical lists which would be Tulsa so they now have a rivalry of toll schools okay so so you've added

Tulsa and anybody else did I mess there? And Marshall. And Marshall, sorry. Okay. So you're at 16. That's good. And can we declare the SOCON complete at this point?

I think, pending any trades. Okay, sure, sure. I think I'm a hard press to bring on any more mouths to feed right now. Okay. server you can you can keep adding uh you don't have to but the the floor is yours again there is some mild concern that we are not everywhere we once were um before the super league was formed sure um i do we have we don't have any teams currently represented from the state of pennsylvania correct in our

conference which would replace pit i don't think so so i i i temple is available right okay yeah i would like to take the temple owls we want to we want to maintain um because we've now understood that media markets are important um so we want to we want to maintain uh presence in the state of pennsylvania and in philadelphia sure we're going to take uh temple for that reason okay um we also don't have a school from the state of virginia right now i believe uh james madison is off the board if i'm not mistaken james madison is off the board but old dominion is available old dominion is available yep all right so we will take old dominion um we've got a team from south carolina and coastal obviously we're represented in north

carolina we don't have a kentucky team correct um to make up for louisville is uh is is western is on the table west is western got taken but bowling green is available and they are and they are a kentucky school so we will take bowling green um as well okay so and i think that would round out the conference because i think we've either taken a team that was formally in and made sure that they felt at home here and we have not lost our footprint, our ideological footprint in the ACC.

Correct, including the West Coast. Including the West Coast. And we've really expanded into the state of Michigan. We've expanded into the great state of Idaho, the state of Washington, which makes us now the president of college football. Yeah, you have more teams in Florida than you did before. Yeah, and more teams in Florida

than ever thought. possible and hello connecticut welcome to the ac cc you picked up a service academy service academy aren't they in jersey is army a jersey school they're new york they are new york okay so we've got two new york schools really which you know new york city you know huge hotbed for college football and we're right there embedded deeply that's right that's right um acc basketball thriving again took duke right up from under me and have yukon yep yep we're gonna be we're gonna be great We're going to be really, really good. And we're not going to do divisions or pods.

Wow. Our scheduling process is going to be that Duke alternates. Not everyone plays Duke every year. Not everyone will play Eastern Michigan every year. And not everyone will play Army every year. Those are a privileged institution to be strong against. And we will not be allowing out-of-conference games at all. No, you can't at this point.

Yeah, part of our chart, part of our charter is that we will be playing 13 games with zero-bys and no out-of-conference match-ups. Our championship game will feature the top two teams in the league. All tiebreakers will be determined by boat race. So you've killed Army Navy? Is that right? Yeah, Army Navy will not be continuing. This is Army's rival now. Yeah. Who won the last one?

Who won the last cup? I believe Army. I can never remember. And we will be keeping it. That is ours now. Damn. What if we invade you? You have a lot of shoreline.

Good, good luck. Good luck. But we are working on an alliance with the Air Force. Ryan, is this true? No, it's not. It's not even slightly true. Prove it. Prove it.

What you don't know is that Ryan and I have formed an alliance, much like the 1810 and Big 10 and Big 12, which is full proof. I'm very uncomfortable being the South against the rest of the country. I do not, I did not agree to this. Well, hold on. We don't know what the new Mac will look like one day, so you may be able to... Can merge with the Mac. Okay, good.

You merge with that. Yeah. I stand from literally Middle America. All right. So, I am sitting at, I believe, 15 teams. I don't want to go to Serber's impressive 18. I do want to go to 16, like Jason. I can't let Oregon State just float.

Like, I can't, in my heart, I cannot just let that happen. Do they have, like, any great geography here? No, but I have three schools in Colorado that I can put them with, and that's just going to have to be okay. I think, I think I'm, so I'm going to make, I'm going to see if I can make quads on the fly here. Quad one is going to be, or, yeah, they're quads, it's fine. Colorado, Colorado State, Air Force, Oregon State.

I need to get, let's see, my Texas schools, that's going to be TCU and Rice and U-TEP. Ooh, I'm going to face a little bit of a problem here. Let's put them with Arkansas State. That's a quad. Let's do Arizona, Arizona State are in with, UNLV. UNLV and... Gosh.

It's either got to be Kansas or Iowa State. Maybe move U-TEP there, and then Kansas can go with the Texases. Okay, that's a good point. Yep. Okay, so Kansas... So I'm going to have... TCU Air Force... TCU Air Force...

No, I've already fucked this up. That's fine. TCU Rice, Kansas. TCU Rice, Kansas, and Arkansas, and Arkansas State. And then we're doing Arizona, Arizona State, UNLV, and UTIP. And then we have, that leaves us with Iowa State, Louisville, Cincinnati, Ohio. Ohio? Not bad.

I think that's fine. It's not bad at all. I think that's fine. I'll wait until we start doing the Mac. I think I noticed a school that no one took. Well, okay. So let's open it up to interdivision trades at this point. Inter-conference trades at this point.

I don't know that anybody wants to, but I think we should throw it out there in case there already moves people want to make. Server, who's still available? Is Iowa still available? No, Iowa made it into the Supercontract. Okay, they did make it into the Supercomments. Okay.

So, I mean, I like my geography. I don't think I have any sort-thumb outliers. I wish I had more Florida. Sir, where I know you have an abundance of Florida. I mean, I would be willing to trade. I would trade a Florida for an Appalachian state. I will say that. Wow.

Interesting. Which could I get like three or four Florida? Florida's rap state? No. No, I don't think we're going to... But, you know, has there ever been a 17-team conference? There's no reason there couldn't... I'm certain the whack was 17.

I would be willing to trade two of my Florida's for an Appalachian State. Hmm, tempting. If you do that, one of them has to be South Florida, right? Yeah, yeah, it would definitely... Yeah, I figure South Florida and then you can have FIU or FAU. Boca or... Where's FIU? Is that Miami? Yeah.

Yeah. It is this. But then what about my... Carolina, who do you have in the Carolinas? See, that's no one I would want to give up because I have Duke, Wake, and Coastal. Good. See, I was testing how committed you were to the ACC brand. Yeah.

Can't lose any of the cookout belt. Yeah, and we really, you know, just with our central location of Greensboro as our conference headquarters, I just don't want to kind of throw the sway off at all. You can't afford it. Yeah. I think I have to keep App State just because they're my only, my only foothole. and you're part of the world. That's fair.

But yeah, let's see. I mean, I feel pretty solid. I feel pretty solid here, but always open to talk business. No, I'm happy. I'm happy with this setup. I think we've each, like, built...

These are, like, pretty good, coherent brands. I like that we've spread out the service academies. I don't like that server is blocking the commander-in-chevistrovia. from that's mine even saying server's going directly up there for president server what is airing on cbs at 2 30 on the day of the heisman ceremony like you just run in um um we'll be having the replay of eastern michigan and you're running the mentalist for three hours no no no f i u and eastern michigan will play their traditional rivalry game that's so it's for america's game america's game that's right brought to you by mashed potatoes and it's in philadelphia of course

Yeah, Temple hosts, as the president says very accurately, well, it's not the best football. We actually get the Canadian Prime Minister to come down. Okay, so then, like, this is going to be the thing that really sucks, and I apologize for it. But who does that leave us for, potentially, for the new Mac? I'm going to go through and make sure that these are not teams that we have taken. Akron did not get picked, correct? Right. Ball State did not get picked, I don't believe?

Nope, that's right. Okay. Serber, you took Bowling Green. Buffalo did not get picked. Right. BYU did not make the Andy's cutoff, right? They did not, and I considered, but quite a reach for me, geography. Okay.

It was only going to work, yeah, it was only going to work for me if I took liberty as well, and I just didn't want to. I really wanted to pair BYU with Baylor and make them play at midnight and call at the lock-in. Okay. Okay. BYU will fit in the Mac. In the new Mac. It's fine. Central Michigan did not get selected. Charlotte didn't get picked, correct?

Nope. Consider it. Scrolling down. Serber or somebody took East Carolina, didn't they? Or did that not get picked? No, I talked about it a lot. Okay, so East Carolina's on here. Great. Love that. Love that for them in BYU. Eastern Michigan's off the board.

Fresno State. an interesting omission here but that's good because that'll give somebody closer to seriously considered but Stanford and Cal were worried about over saturation sure sure sure sure let's see we have Georgia Southern

and Georgia State as well as Kennesaw State and Hawaii and Hawaii yep all right I think the next one Jacksonville State this was one I also considered and I think they would have been a good

addition to frankly any of the any of these conferences but just didn't have the room we apologize Kent State congratulations you're staying in the Mac you don't have to print up new anything uh Liberty yep you go here uh all all three we did not take outside of Tulane and LSU is already in the Super League. Louisiana, Louisiana Tech, Louisiana Monroe are all off to the Big Mac, right? Considered the Cajuns, but they are available. Okay. Louisiana, UOMT, Marshall did get picked.

Massachusetts. Can't believe they didn't find a home. I mean... Just like real life. just like real life it all works yes um Miami Ohio I don't think any of us took nope I should I should have taken them so I could still have a Miami oh do you want do you want to make a swap here um you do need more teams yeah I don't think I can I don't think I would I don't think I could my heart I don't believe I could part with any of these

institutions MTSU did not get picked um but Nevada Diesel UNLV went, Nevada did not Neither New Mexico's Kind of a bummer That's your jurisdiction That is my fault But I think

Yeah, the choices had to be made You know, it's a dirty business It just is I don't know what to tell you Northern Illinois Northern Illinois let's see got Ohio

got O'DU got Oregon State San Houston you get to get under consideration here San Diego State and San Jose State San Diego State

Wow It wasn't a fit for me I just couldn't find this Getting them this late in it would be up there with Naving Cincinnati nearly at the end Yeah South Alabama Southern Miss

Apologies to you But the Mac will be A friendly home Um Texas State did not get Taken off the board Uh Jason you took Toledo

If memory serves I did Nobody took Troy, right? I thought long and hard about it But stuck with just you, A.B. Right. So Troy's still here Um Tulsa

You did pick, yes. Yes. UAB got picked, UCF got picked. Utah State, also available. I took U-TEP, Jason, you took UTSA, Western Michigan, and Wyoming.

So, that leaves us with 35 schools. That's an odd number. Let's give 34 of them to Holly and give Spencer one. Okay. All right. Who's, who's, all right, so we'll have a 34 team new Mac that Holly runs. Yeah. And Spencer's the AD. Who is, who is, who is the Notre Dame of, of the non-super league? That we, it's Liberty, right? Liberty. Oh, brutal. Brutal. All right, I can, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, you, I'll let you make the choice. We can even give him Liberty or Hawaii. Can we give him Fresno? That's fine, too. Yep.

Hawaii's good, too. All right. Fresno State independent as they should be roaming the countryside fear them with their can of milk unafraid

undaunted I think this is good I think we have put together like this is not entirely the point of doing this but if you if you gave me

any of the three conferences that we put together the new Mac has some work to do we have to sort out some problems there But that's Holly and Spencer has to figure out how to schedule Fresno State because you can't play ACC teams. Who have dominated his state for some reason. I think the new Mac, I mean, that's two conferences.

Yes, I think you're right. You just split it into like four huge divisions and there you go. I think that's probably right. So I like honestly, if the adults in charge of the sport came up with this solution, I would say, oh, that's a lot better than I expected. Yeah, like, listen, I'm not necessarily. cited for the Super League. But if we had Jason Socon, server's ACC, and my very big 12, there would be a lot to watch in those. There would be like interesting matchups, good games. There would still be a lot of quality to enjoy. Is it the exact same thing as where we were?

Five years ago, 10 years ago? No. No, it's not. But that's okay. We're going to preserve tradition in the ACC, though. All our games will be broadcast on the CW. Oh, damn. I would like to announce our media rights deal from 9 a.m. in the morning when we start with Stanford on the West Coast, so 6 a.m. locally there. Why not just started at 6 a.m. Eastern? No, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, good point. 6 a.m. Eastern, we will start with Stanford's game, and we will have football. Our final game will kick off with Boston College at 2 a.m.

CW. Up all night. 24 hours. And we're going to play right at. into NFL Sunday because we have the same quality of football in our league that's true that's 100% true um jason you might uh no server's got the saltiest league yeah server's got the saltiest league well shit it's on the cw what was i supposed to do you've got i mean you've got you've got memphis and ucf and app state and there's some good salt there but like server's gonna have like Yukon fans absolutely trashing Coastal Carolina for some reason. That's going to happen.

Super is going to have Yukon fans insisting that the U.S. Army is soft. And that's a worthwhile endeavor all the same. And we have the hot tourist attractions of Conway, South Carolina, and Tampa. You kidding me? I feel like with my crew, there is big cities, but also lots of of obnoxious underdogs with, you know, App State and, and numerous others you see have famously. Yeah.

But also, I like how Georgia Tech and Baylor fit into that because we think of them as, you know, often underachievers. Obviously, they both had really good runs within the past 10 to 20 years. But imagine if the expectations were beat Marshall and Toledo and every now and then score an upset. We've seen both tech and Baylor pull off, you know, really big upset. So imagine if that was their entire brand was being an obnoxious third tier school. Yeah, sure. I feel good about that. I, with my mostly like mountain time zone, Texas, a little bit of like Louisville, Ohio, I think the predominant theme of my conference is I have a big truck. Like I think that's

mostly what my conference projects is look at my big truck and that you know what that's easy sponsorship like the Dodge 1850 look at it's got 12 wheels and no it's got no bed whatsoever but it's still a truck maybe

opening kickoff brought you by truck nuts that's right