Shutdown Fullcast - Also receiving votes: Jerry Falwell Jr.

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

- A hastily assembled preseason top 25, prepared by our readers - CENTRAL ARKANSAS IS IN YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW, AND THEY WANNA FIGHT - Who is more 2020: Pitt, Ole Miss, or other? - SNAPTIE - Rate and review the Fullcast! - Subscribe to mooncrew.substack.com! - Let us know what you think of the Sinful Seven so far! - Let us know what you might think of a Moon Crew Discord! - Share this podcast with a friend, as if you are Jerry Falwell Jr.!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown to the shutdown full cast. You're listening to the sonorous tones of myself, Spencer Hall, on the internet's only college football podcast. I am joined tonight, as always, by my co-host. Jason Kirk, Jason, how are we doing tonight? I'm doing fantastic, buddy. How are you? I'm doing well.

See, I threw to you, and I remembered it. I caught it. I received it, but here's the thing. We're running an option, so now I'm going to pitch it. Because we are joined tonight by two very special guests. We are joined by Holly Anderson and Ryan Nanny. Hey, everybody. Welcome aboard.

Hey, good evening. It's a thrill to be here. Wait, which one of us are you throwing it to? Who's the B-back? There's two football. You drop the ball. Shit. We went multi-ball.

Multi-ball. Like Liberty University. And we're off. Also like Liberty University. Also like Liberty University. Who is the most carefree, untroubled soul on the Liberty University campus this week? Hugh Freeze. Hugh Freeze.

Hugh freeze. Hugh, I know. We've suggested this before. I know you search your name, so you're going to hear this. This would be a really excellent time to do some crimes. You know what's great is somebody on that campus has received an invitation to, like, a cookout or whatever, thrown by Hugh Freeze and Jerry Falwell, and they didn't go. And now they're thinking, like, was that?

That wasn't. But what? Was it? Of course it was. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, they're thinking, wow. I missed on a really rowdy time with the president of Liberty University.

Okay. When you find out somebody in your social circle has gone multiple and or are swingers, then there's an audit. Your brain undertakes of every single social interaction one has ever had with these people. And thought... And for the most part, this is silly because for the most part, you and I'm speaking to the listeners are not that attractive. That's the thing.

that's the thing i've had i've had this conversation with other people that go yeah i yeah i don't know we knew this couple this is just this is just a version of discovering that your friend is gay and being like oh do you want to fuck me no you're not that hot jerry fallwell's not that attractive yeah but hugh freeze is incredibly attractive no oh dear god that's what i thought this week that you freeze heard about all this and went well yeah that is microwaved a cartoon beaver yeah that he thought i get it again sorry that he thought well sexy buckies presents Oh, God. Hey, hey, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Hugh Freeze. He looks like fuckies. Let's talk about Bucky's nuggets. Good, oh, goodness. This went so wrong. Hey, I think of the ball and ran with it. In the corner. Oh, God.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, yes. That is, he did literally run. Oh, my, my, oh, hell yes. He did literally run. He did literally run. He did literally run the corner route again. cover against man coverage didn't he i'm just glad more teams it was uh it was cover one i think yeah

i think that zone coverage i think he understands like hey linebacker stays down in the box i stay high i appreciated the reader who referred to this as the tampa three running levels option routes galore all right we got that out of our systems absolutely no no we did not i did think this week though that the music thing would I did think this week, though, that Hugh Fries heard about this and thought, well, you know, that is an exciting situation. Why is he Mac Brown when he's horny? It is. No, he, aren't we all, brother?

Hugh Fries always, Hugh Fries does that thing where he's like, I'm such a lunatic and so deeply crazed and sad that I have to slow down my talking. Well, they both leave early. Wow. Good night, everybody. Good night. Yeah. a guest on this podcast goodness goodness what a start what a start to the football season for the liberty flames that the president at the university um has one been accused by somebody of being recruited

to be uh the third in their couple which you know hey if you do that that's cool it's not necessarily cool that's against the bylaws of a university and you're just out there you know doing it yourself and also you're the son of the founder of the moral majority, et cetera, built your whole empire on this. It's not really cool if it's against the bylaws of your university, but it's incredibly funny if you've based your career on yelling at other people for doing that. Yeah, yeah, or potentially been blackmailed

into endorsing a presidential candidate because of it anyway. Oh, we haven't even gotten to the medical device fraud yet portion of this, but that's another story for another day, and we'll bring on Brian Floyd to tell you all about it. Additionally, that in all of this, that Hugh Freeze, man, how many years does Hugh Freeze have at liberty now if he's just trauma-free? If he's just drama-free, doesn't do anything. Like two, three?

How much longer can he stick around there? Yeah, if he's just quiet. He's just chill. Probably a long time. He doesn't want to stick around there. This is his rehab tour. Oh, wait. Are you asking how long, how much, I'm going to regret this?

How much leash does he have? Ah. I told you I'd regret it. Told you. That is an exciting situation. Was there any circumstance in which he would have gotten in trouble before, like regardless of what he was up to? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean. It's already absolute anarchy. How much, how much wilder can it possibly get? If he'd shown his support for Black Lives Matter, he might have gotten in trouble. Yeah, that's fair. Just throw on that out there. That is, God. It boggles the mind when I really.

try to pack it all in. That didn't come out right. God! It is so difficult to talk about Liberty University. Neither one of you said come again, and that's... If there's one thing I've learned through listening to the past 36 hours of these jokes is that we need to rename several football concepts. No.

There are so many sexy football concepts. route combos alone smash smash yeah when you got cover two we haven't even gotten to the flex bone jokes not even the dive man I enjoy football jokes put over to sex jokes that's my favorite direction of here's here's what I'm excited about is that some people let their children listen to this podcast and I know this already happened but I know it's some point they've like Tom Crane listened to this podcast oh that was on accident

yeah they've had to like dive for the radio dial in the card oh gosh oh god must stop now we've been doing this for going on a decade this is now your fault so the way I see it is we cannot be blamed for the existence of Liberty University

no we cannot what are we what are we going to do not talk about Liberty University it's not our fault it exists no We have done our best to undo that personally. And let's face it, if we, the fullcaster, over here, doing our dirty business, and you're over in the corner listening. So to be clear, so far in this episode, we have told our listeners, they're not attractive,

and they are Jerry Falwell. I didn't say that. I think they're gorgeous. I think they're all beautiful. But you agree that they're jacking it in the corner. Look, I tried to call them talk about one time, and y'all remember how that went. Our readers, our readers, please, have a diverse skill set, are very, very, they're multiple, so to speak, and I have no doubt that some may be in the corner, some may be in the thick of it, if you will. That's fine. They're capable of a lot of things. They're wonderful people, and we thank them for listening, or participating and listening.

I just don't know. Why are we mad at Jerry Falwell for social distancing? I thought we were supposed to. He's about to get socially distanced. I got to tell you one other thing. I bet you he had a mask on. Fidelio. Now, it was a mask of Ronald Reagan's face, but. You can reach me at ryan. At nanny at sbination.com.

Nobody emails me anymore. It's fine. Win one for the Gapper. Wow. Jesus Christ. uh would you like to hear a truly alarming thing i guess that's the point yeah yeah let's start right now college football college football if my notes are right is going to be played uh a week from thursday no yep no it ain't there there are two games on the schedule hang on let's let's let's back it up

back it up let's well back it up is already let's see we are we are claimed so far so this saturday In fact, Austin Pee versus Central Arkansas. Division 1 football on ESPN. This is, all right, ESPN didn't have that on their schedule. I'm looking at LSUFootball.net. It was extremely frustrating. But I thought what you were getting at is emotionally on the calendar right now, we should be looking to see which Thursday night Georgia State football contest we are going to attend,

you know, which early season Kennesaw State games we're going to try to get together for. kind of glance with dread to see, oh, Jesus, who's South Carolina got in week one? Like, that is where our body clocks should be at this time. I mean, the good news is South Carolina doesn't have anybody in week one or week two. Terrific. Or week three. And that leads me to the very funny thing that I discovered today. So the AP poll, the preseason AP poll came out.

And I will preface this by saying that I have mostly been converted to Jason's view. of the AP poll which is that while it is not necessarily a useful in-season tool it is a helpful historical measurement because it's one of the few that sort of like exists mostly unchanged across multiple decades this year however it's totally useless you mean like the parameters of the poll are mostly unchanged or you mean that USC has always ranked no matter what it's a little bit of both it's standardized across era and like basically nothing in college football besides the AP poll is and also if you look at the end of the season one of the best predictors as to which teams were good is the preseason AP poll like we complain about it every year but it's pretty good except for 2020 when half the teams are not going to play football yeah so the so the AP has done an interesting thing with the preseason poll they ranked a bunch of teams. I think nine teams are in the top 25 that are not playing. Big 10 and

pack 12 teams. And they've they've put asterisks on them and they've said after the game start. It's the first time for some of you all. After the game start, these teams are not going to be ranked anymore. So immediately they've said there's going to be massive upheaval. But here's the funny part to me. This is the AP's version of basically saying don't at us. Right. Like right now. So you have So here's what the AP Pre-Season Bowl has. It has, like I said, I think nine teams that aren't playing at all. It has seven SEC teams, none of whom are playing until what's basically week four, September 26th.

So there's going to be a long stretch of the season where, like, LSU and Alabama and Georgia are all zero and zero. And these are teams that are in like the top 10, top 15 right now. but like they have to do something with them and it's normally there is a little bit of a gap like not everybody starts on week zero not everybody even necessarily starts on week one but this is like you're talking about a month where the poll is going to keep coming out and you're going to see like number two Alabama zero and zero after week three it's going to be great and people are going to like people will be mad at it already oh you're okay so you're you're looking forward to the point in time where Alabama is not being dropped after some quality wins or losses by other teams despite not playing a game yet. Yes. I think so. That is going to be fun. So it'll either be that or because like if it were just group of five teams playing early, maybe this maybe like they just say, well, yeah, we don't really care about you and we don't pay attention to you anyway. And this is the most transparent way we can make that happen. But because the big. 12 in the ACC will have gotten going like Texas Tech might be might say you know we're 2 and oh and Texas A&M zero and zero how the hell are we still behind them what do we have to do here and they might jump them at that point and then Texas A&M is going to be furious this is kind of a

semi throwbacky thing I'm trying to find a good old season with rankings like this where like there was a zero and zero team in week two or three that was in the top 10 um 19. We're getting a bunch of weird old shit all at once. Like some teams playing two games schedules. Yeah, we did that in the 1880s, you know. And like some teams getting started in August and others getting started in October. Like we have done that something.

All of our worst ideas are happening at once. There are a couple teams that have like double opponents, right? Is there precedent for this in like the hurricane seasons? No, because then you mostly just get like one game dropped. or like moved or whatever and it doesn't end up being a huge delta cool yeah that that just like screws UCF out of

a noteworthy opponent that's the outcome of the all I'm hearing by the way is that Austin P this is your moment that's right let's do it also Central Arkansas is somehow playing let's see the Central Arkansas schedule

so not only are they playing Austin P to open the season and they might close the season as well They also have the first FBS game of the year against UAB. Also, their dumb asses decided to play North Dakota State if I'm not. Oh, no. Yes, that's great. Yeah, let's go. And let's go.

They're also playing Arkansas State. Not an awesome idea. They're going to the Woodchipper to play North Dakota State. Trey Lance is only game of the year. That's right. That's the best part. Trey Lance has millions of dollars on the line. Trey Lance has millions of reasons to destroy Central Arkansas.

These folks love football. Central Arkansas, you are the football-lovingest people on Earth. My favorite right now is Air Force has two games on the schedule. They're in the Mountain West. The Mountain West has canceled. Air Force said, we're going to do some stuff anyway. They play, I think, Navy First in early October. I'm going to double-check that.

And then they play Army. And that's it. those are the only and then they play Navy again then they play Army then they play Navy and did they play Army October 3rd Navy

there better be a commemorative war games poster made out of this November 7th Army that's it and Army and Army and Navy like Army has like nine home games

at this point or something Ryan have you looked at the calendar does it say November 7th Army football game or are we into some Jade Helm shit again it doesn't it doesn't specify

you know it really does like looking at lSU football like uh basically uh after the first couple days in november there's just nothing which that could be accurate oh that's chilling home field apparel liberty university is a school that is not sold by home field apparel because home field apparel only sells incredibly comfortable collegiate are we doing the ad right now we I mean, we're already in it. We've started it. Yeah.

Offer code fullcast at homefield apparel.com, 20% off. Slippery rock. Hold on. I want to go find. Upon this slippery rock, we can build a church. It looks like somebody's beating us to it. Church will just slide all over the place. So, okay, here it is.

So Homefield is doing big new Saturday every Saturday. From now for like the next four, five months or it's it's a long time they have a lot of schools lined up that they're announcing um they're doing a top seven i assume that's because the twitter graphic won't hold more than that or maybe they still feel like counting not going to fault them for that they've only done seven is that true um seven is sacred in numerology ryan please don't bring it up again i apologize as far as the big new series goes okay okay so uh they're they're doing rankings of how many what the total sales are for each team on its launch day, just on the Saturday that it launches.

If Big New Saturday had a college football playoff, your top four teams would be Pitt, Virginia Tech, Yukon, and Slippery Rock. I would watch this playoff. It would be excellent. More teams are coming. They've basically already tipped at least one that's coming. But there are schools that I think. think we all know are coming that should challenge i think for at least that top four oh if if the

second cc school that i've heard is accurate it's going to be a barn burner it should at least one coming that god i if they don't beat slippery rock then there's a problem i agree but that said i don't like are they going to put up yukon numbers are they going no one has no one has ever said that in the positive sense ever do any of these programs have the national the national reach and love uh that our idiot football show has put behind yukon not that i can think of or any of them even a pit dare i say i mean well pit's number one that's the top of the mountain buddy yeah pit's the final boss here if you can't beat yukon you got a problem i don't care slippery rock i'm not taking it in an excuse well we're fcs i don't care so is we can say this now the pit deal is the reason we

started recording episodes again. Yep. I really want to and thank Hail Pitt for that always. However, I would say this. I would laugh if that SEC program debuted beat Pitt's record and then Pitt had a sudden resurgence the following

Saturday even without an announcement that people just showed up and they're like no, we got to put the king back in the throne. It's Pitt Day 2. It's Pitt Day 2. I think technically this would have to involve time travel but Pitt has done it before. Pitt will do it again. Um, so yeah, you keep an eye out for big news Saturday.

You use the offer code full cast. That gets you 20% off. In the meantime, you can already buy a shirt that has a rock wearing a fur coat. Yeah. You can, you can buy that. There are several Yukon Husky, sad husky options. There's also like, they have what I call Farah Fawcett Husky, which is sort of like the big, more blown out look like that.

Is deeply sad that I know exactly what you need. mean even though i haven't seen yeah yeah it's no it's it's the it's the it's the full big blowout one and it is very faucet-esque uh and then uh there's the virginia tech classic horse on a treadmill horse i'm not making that up i know it's the running yeah that's that's that's with uh with the pals over at the key ply horse on a treadmill horse on a treadmill that kind of fits into the shutdown full cast theme horse on a treadmill it's a big horse

and he's rot in the lot sorry I started that way too high that's okay we'll go with you is this where we reveal the mistaken identity that you experienced recently no

yeah I'll let you tell it you're the one it's your story I can't take it from no that's the point I have to let you tell it because who will know the difference

God damn it. Look, if I tell it, it's mean. What's the, I don't know the context. Someone, say it. The context is I have just spent the past week in Tennessee helping my parents move. And at one point, I had the full cast Golf Disasters episode playing while I was packing a box. And my mom rolled through and said something like, that never happened to you. and I said, what?

And she said, that thing you just said, Ryan was telling a story. Got a lady, boys. My own mother. I mean, do I have, am I a tenor? Maybe. I don't know. Anyway, I'm not sure which one of us should be more affronted,

but thanks, Mom. It's definitely me, and that's fine. Why do I imagine that when Ryan eventually opens his mouth to sing karaoke with me listening, he's going to have a thunderous basso he's going to sound like i have terrible news you're going to be so no you're going to sound like the least singer of inner pole hello let's just firm i do have other ryan nanny news a rewatch of the sopranos has reminded me that dude a j's a dead ringer for you in middle school god damn it oh man

has ryan not suffered enough in the last like three minutes It's there. And I got to say, it's not entirely unflattering. Occasionally, you know, like you look at him and you're like, it's going to be a handsome young man there. Wait, you just got through watching the episodes where AJ has a slip-knock jacket. Are you sure it's not entirely unflattering? I'm buying Ryan a slip-knot jacket is what I wanted to say.

Not available at Homefield. Like the kind of hot topic, right? Oh, no, this is some sort of special order shit, dude. No, no, no. We're getting Ryan into new metal is what I'm hearing. Oh, getting him in. Ben-in, son. That man's from Tampa.

He's a graduation requirement in high school. He's got a Deftone's tramp stamp. Let's let's see off the deaf tones here. The deaf tones are the unslanderable of those bands. They are very good. I do have, by the way, one reject golf story that was not submitted to us, but that could have fit in the episode and was brought to our attention. It is from a Twitter username Jepjouck,

aka gift of the magi and the story is once my dad was golfing and note that my dad is not typically a teller of tallth tales and he hit a seagull with his ball full on Randy Johnson style the seagull dropped onto the fairway

at which point a raccoon darted out of the bushes grabbed the gull and dragged it away this raccoon knows the deal so is this a golf gull or a golf raccoon situation golf raccoon yeah golf raccoon yeah golf raccoon's just waiting he's like listen these people are idiots they do things all the time that benefit me personally i'm going to wait in the bushes and just see what happens it's a great business model it is an incredible business model

yeah and i'm gonna place the seagull in the category as golf fox from the past episode that seagull was a dead relative if not before then surely now sure that last thought i bet the seagull was like Oh, God, what a humiliating way to go. At least I'm not going to be eaten by a raccoon. No! No. Homefield apparel. Homefield apparel.com.

By the way, I'm not finished talking about liberty. Oh, God. Terrific. Are you talking about Liberty football? Being not finished, of course. This is the infamous liberty condition. So, obviously, you know, we've had our fun making the puns, and that'll probably continue indefinitely. Liberty as a university, are they off the hook just because Jerry Falwell is gone?

No, no, of course not. Never. No. You made this bed and you will lay in it. You will not go sit in the corner and watch what's happening in this bed. You will lay in it. And watch the game from the press box. You will watch from the bed in the press box.

there was one thing so Falwell when he finally accepted that he was being replaced by a younger man as the president of Liberty University it'll be a man, come on he delivered a Martin Luther King quote

which is incredibly awkward for a billion reasons. The quote was free at last free at last thank God almighty we are free at last hooray he's no longer the president at liberty the reason he knows this quote is because Liberty University in the 80s, he attended there in 84, he went to law school there in 87. In 1987 at Liberty University, DC Talk, the Christian rap slash rock group met at Liberty. Now we're cooking. Oh, wow. Yeah. Their first concert was in Jerry Falwell Senior's backyard, where, you know, the school president, where his son was attending.

law school at the time. It is without question that Jerry Falwell Jr. was a DC talk fan. When he was, this would have been when he was about 29 that DC Talk sampled Martin Luther King saying, free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last. So Jerry Falwell Jr., on the day of his downfall, reached for a mighty majestic quote that he hoped would trigger the libs, and the only thing he had was a DC talk quote. That's the main thing I wanted to say about Liberty. There's a Jesus freak joke here, but I'm not going to do that. Yeah, there's more freak than Jesus.

There's a part in that song about watching a man without a shirt. I was just thinking about that. And I was like, do I want to reveal how many of these lyrics I actually know? Oh, God. I enjoy, by the way, that we somehow managed to get to D.C. talk out of this. Subscribe to Vacation Bible School Pott. absolutely up next we're doing the the crossing of the red sea we will convince you that quite possibly almost all of it happened wow i by the way listening to vacation

bible school see this is the most i've ever learned about the bible there's all kinds of crazy stuff in there it's wild yeah bears bears eating people i like that that's your first thing everything that happens in the bible you're like there's a bear whoa i got okay do you want know what we did in bible school like bible school yes go ahead and by bible school i mean the university of florida spencer did you go to ccd i did i did go to ccd so it just didn't take okay no i pointedly remembered they took me out in the hall and said okay you didn't learn what you're supposed to learn today and i said what was i supposed to learn today and they said you were supposed to learn this and i was like what is this and they said it's a bible passage and we were going to ask you about it

it and I was like you mean I'm supposed to read this and it pretty much went downhill from there I got hit on the head by a ccd teacher non-clergy volunteer sure out with a rolled up with a rolled-up ccd workbook like twice for being such an asshole in the middle of class and I refused to apologize because it was the biggest waste of my time ever however I did always manage they would say can you like select a Bible verse and speak from your heart on it and my friend and Andrew and I would naturally select all the ones about deer didn't you we would found we found all of the old testament ones that were like so then they had locust shoved into their eye sockets there's a lot of weird donkey stuff yeah speaking of liberty university speaking of

liberty university i mean it does mean freedom yeah uh let's see so the flames let's talk about what jerry fallwell senior thinks of all this yeah that's right get him he's in hell that's where he's just looking up looking up so we go live to hell to talk to jerry fall well senior so uh as a ryan was getting to about the this point in the season and as holly mentioned as well like this is the time of year when we are very used to having the feeling of like all right we have read all of bill connelly's previews we have looked at the phil steel magazine yes the first 30 pages over are the same as the year before but all the spreadsheets after that are different from

the year before the font is even smaller the font has it has even more jam-packed with information than it has ever been before like bud has recited every team's Vegas odds so many times that i could tell you without even looking them up like there is so much information just raring to be you know to burst forth and then the season happens and then it's over but like i haven't looked up a fucking thing i don't like i don't even get the point of like studying up for this season when we don't know if it'll be more than one game well like in the past in the past week even even besides that like in the past week just in the big 12 tCU had a quarterback who's like yep i have i have a heart condition so i'm not playing this year and oklahoma today said uh announced that there was a

position group they wouldn't say which but they had so many positive tests within the position group that they basically couldn't practice oh it's defensive lineman i mean they didn't say that did they no but you know like which which position and are basically like completely underneath people all the time and are gross yeah i mean i i mean yeah if even besides the like can these games happen the way in which they do will make like the whole act of prognostication so incredibly useless. Like even if it's normally good, good data and useful information, there is nothing you can look at to be like, well, they're on QB4 and they've got a wide receiver playing guard. So I don't know. Factor that in. Like at this point in the year, I'm on like, you know,

over the course of the last like seven or eight years, I'd be on like the third draft of my bowl projections already. And then they'll be updated every week after that. But like I haven't fucking glanced at the shit. Like, okay, I bet, I bet, uh, Bama's going to be good, right? Bama supposed to be good this year. Like, I, it's, everything is weird. Um, but the AP poll is out, like normal. Just trucking along like normal.

Um, so we decided to crash course a little bit to, uh, to, to, to get some group think wisdom of the crowds in here. So we threw it to our Twitter followers, um, and ask for, the single-likeliest best reason that each team will have to be ranked number one. And then I went through and created pre-season AP top 20... A pre-season top 25 based entirely on those explanations. And I could read through those.

I wish you would. Please do. Starting at number 25 from Kivbot on Twitter, everything is bad. Let's make it worse. go vols baby god damn it so tennessee i was uh no no we are 45 we are 45 minutes into this episode we are 45 minutes so here's episode and i was really hoping to skate away without everyone noticing that the liberty story dropped just in time to obscure the fact that tennessee is ranked 25th so the only reason i really

knew tennessee was ranked 25th was because of the reaction on this program to tennessee appearing in rankings so like it made it stick out to my brain this is very important you know like i i should make sure tennessee shows up 25th here because it's very important right um so i learned to associate tennessee with the number 25 um so yeah it's also their usual down and distance on third down it's hey it's only going to get worse once all the big 10 and pack 12 teams are out of it and you're like tennessee's 11 now wow tennessee's seventh because there's only seven teams left playing football Tennessee blowing expectations, despite being one of like four teams playing football,

would actually be the logical endpoint of how this is all gone. You know, I enjoy this chapter of Tennessee football because Jeremy Pruitt, Jeremy Pruitt would go, well, yeah, look, we're up to seven. There's only seven teams playing. Jesus Christ. Like the Jeremy Pruitt. Take a moment. And now, Pruitt, I don't believe is canny enough.

Does not have the requisite raccoon smarts to pull this off. imagine Randy Edsel in this position and the contract bonuses he could reap there from. Are you saying Randy Edsel's the original Gulf Raccoon of contract perks? Maybe? He's just out there. Siegel! Rackle! Raccoon is there! $800.

Speaking of, number 24, Iowa by J-A-V-I-Trashy because Iowa is ending the 2020 season in the AP Top 25, So Kirk Ferrens gets a $250,000 bonus, of course. Number 23, I like this one from Doghawk on Twitter. L-O-L-L-O-L-L-L. This person is a Kansas fans. There's Kansas at number 23. I'm sold. I'm way more sold on them than anyone else just by that reasoning.

Number 22 from Sam Huppert. The 2020 National Championship is, of course, set to be played on Scott Frost Day. That's true. This is Canon. Nebraska is number 22. number 21 Oklahoma from Tommy Snyder We have a history of taking things Before the official start time, boomer sooner

Number 20 is Princeton from Jeff Amy on Twitter I believe the quote says Jeff Is Princeton Claims Everything To be clear, full disclosure I did go ahead and rank Princeton A little bit higher because Jeff also linked to my blog About the entire history of claimed national championships In which Princeton every single, Princeton was the original Bama

By the way. Like Bama, you didn't invent a shit Like, you didn't invent claiming a title every single year. Princeton did that shit first. But Bama should be in the Ivy League. Maybe let's say that. Yeah, no, I'm going to go with that. By the way, you're not made a stone. If somebody has a flattering link and butters you up.

But Bama's campus is. Put them in the Ivy League. See? There you go. Also, Bama's got, by the way, Bama's a research university now because they have a mobile simian research lab. Bama's got a car chimp. They got a car chimp.

I believe that's a macaque. I'm sorry. I don't think it's a gym. I don't have a Bama degree. I can't distinguish wildlife on site. Can you imagine anything more dangerous and beloved than a chimpanzee loose on the Alabama campus? An ape that can rip someone's face off? Do you know what in Alabama would they respect more?

They'd be like, hey, listen, that chip, he might kill you. He might love on you. But either way, he's fervent about it. Okay, and that's what we like. We like you'd be, you know, you'd be hot or cold. Don't be anything in between. of purpose. Do y'all remember the story about South Alabama research the very first year of the program under Joey Jones having to do all their workouts in an abandoned animal testing lab? Yeah. And because I was down there talking to, talking to Joey, and some of the players came through the office. And some of them referred to the first season. This was the senior class that had been through that whole four years with him. And they're like, oh, yeah, in the monkey lab. And I turned to,

around i was like why do they keep calling it the monkey lab and they're like oh because we worked out in an abandoned monkey lab that's a good reason yeah why didn't why didn't this turn into some sort of sci-fi thing where they gained like crazy powers by working out the like research monkey lab damn it this is stranger things season seven when they completely run out of ideas and they're like football players have become huge powerful mega apes it's the true detective season two of stranger things i'm ready so has been number 19 from 3rd Brock from Sun. Baylor is at the top alphabetically of the teams trying to play

before they cancel the season officially. Therefore, number 19 is Air Force because they are at the top alphabetically of the teams trying to play with it. Just going to win the Commander Chief Trophy and call it a day. I like third Brock for the unselfishness in going ahead and naming someone else's school.

If it hadn't been Air Force, it would have been Alabama. Ryan? Ryan, I have a question? Yeah. Have we really thought about the intensity of those two games? Oh, it's also, it's also that, so it's also that Air Force has like a month between them while Army and Navy are playing full, so like, this is literally all Air Force has to play for. And they haven't won the CIC trophy, I think, in like four or five years.

Quite a while. So, especially for a program that used to win it like all the time. So yeah, I can't. just imagine the logistics Air Force these high schools with all that time to plot

pretty much like they're basically playing two bowl games against their two biggest rivals now do you know normally the deal with Air Force

what happens to them physically before the season are you aware of their training schedule like their actual military military training schedule

okay so one of the issues with playing for Air Force football in the good and the bad sense prior to the season for at least 10 days

but I want to say two weeks that entire class goes way up in the mountains in Colorado like consistently above like 10,000 feet to do training and they're just up there like running around all day with 60 pounds on their back

eating shit getting yelled at and then they come back down and they immediately start fall practice right so they roll from that into fall practice so many so many red blood cells Right. I know what some of you were saying, which is, oh, so many red blood cells. That's true. Also, you've just been getting the crap beat out of you in the mountains for two weeks. That's not going to make anybody better at anything. No one is better after that experience. What about Rambo? What about Rambo? Yeah, you know what? I bet if we got all the rambos together, they could make a team that could beat the NFL. What about the predator? Yeah, if you're the predator, that's completely valid. But Dante Hightower.

That's the University of Nightham mascot. The Predator? Yep. Is it singular? Sorry, we add, yes. Yes, like the card. Yeah, yeah. Yes, it's definitely singular.

We had a virulent debate about this going over on the shutdown fullcast Reddit. And I feel like we've arrived it as significant answer. By the way, no one's more college football than the predator because if you beat the predator, what do you get a trophy? It's true. You get a trophy out of respect. A confusing trophy, too. A very good He gave me a keg of nails

Kind of sick shit is this Number 18 Arizona State from Cowgirl Bookworm Because ASU created a spit test Gonna save the world Arizona State spit I will consider it

Mm-hmm Number 17 Clemson from Robert M. Green Season incomplete revert to preseason number one Clemson I honestly feel like this is the best Like this is the best claim to a national title In absence of literally everything else I think I meant to rank Clemson higher

but everything from here on is pretty compelling. It is certainly, this is certainly the one that will be trotted out. Are they preseason number? I have not even looked at the actual AP poll other than... I haven't either other than to see the 17 people adding me asking me if I saw the AP poll,

which is how I knew not to look. They are number one just ahead of Ohio State, who again is not playing football. number 16 from Chris Barnwall UCF haters will say Alabama did it first but I will say UCF did it better 2017 and 2020 national champs

I've said this a couple times but I do feel like it is time to revert the claiming bullshit national title joke from UCF back to Alabama like two years was plenty of time to pick on UCF like Also Alabama lost did y'all see yeah that's true

I'm gonna need details I saw later we all saw let's go back to the days when claim bullshit was the Alabama joke that was so much better than picking on the little guy who granted is obnoxious at number 15

all the other little guys Jay von Funkenstein says Boise State is a backlog of unclaimed title so we'll just take this one and call it good let's throw in TCU Utah Marshall Tulane Toledo Arizona State back when they were a little guy Toledo just slid right in there.

Yeah, well, Utah, a little guy? Hey, look how many times Toledo has gone undefeated. We're talking about a backlog here. Utah could claim as many as two previous national titles. They're not a little guy now, but, I mean, I think if you went to a Utah fan and you say, will you admit you're a little guy if you get to claim an old national title? I just picture them doing like the sweating face, me looking at the two buttons. We're playing a power conference.

If you admit, if you admit that you have not always been in a power conference, you can claim an old national title. Just imagine. Toledo went undefeated three straight years. That's right. Claim all of them. 1970, 1971.

For their trouble, they got three straight trips to the Tangerine Bowl and they never got ranked higher than 12th in the final AP poll. Hey, the Tangerine Bowl for a kid from Toledo in 1970,

that is a hell of a trip. Imagine how dismal you're like skyline of factories and grace, smoke and Les Miles beat me up and put me in a locker every day. Suddenly I get to go to the Tangerine Bowl. Hell yes. Here are the three teams they beat.

All three of these Toledo teams were ranked in the top 20 at the time. Davidson, William and Mary, and Richmond. Yeah, fucked them up, too. Go spiders. Number 14. Maryland from J.C. Evans, because Maryland remains unbeaten against the hardest schedule in the country by fpi not bad it's topped by number 13 arkansas from luke hobbs of fast and the furious fame uh you can not deny it to arkansas when they went undefeated against

the most difficult schedule of all time which was of course claimed by arkansas's ad and it's not far off Arkansas like arkansas's theoretical hypothetical schedule uh if football were to actually happen is horrible hilarious it's disaster like not only is it you know, the full SEC West experience and not only do you gain Georgia and at Florida from the east, so their season would end with a traditional game against Missouri. But that game against Missouri is bookended by LSU and a December game against Alabama. Just insane. Arkansas schedule is the TikTok challenge that gets you kicked off a TikTok, right?

Like, hey, you know, the taser you're not. challenge here we go everybody taser you nuts johnny hoaxville's joint tic talk yeah no i'm excited for arkansas to start owen too and be like hey guys we've been re-looking at this medical data we're starting to really question you know what they'll do they'll schedule central arkansas is just rabid they'll play anybody and then they'll put them on and central Arkansas will beat them and they'll go no yeah you want to squeeze in central Arkansas dance card you got to meet them on the

purple and gray brother brother listen central Arkansas is going to play 19 games this year who's going to stop them we're going those years when Yale played like 20 games yeah central Arkansas is just going to go on a train and play seven games in 10 days central Arkansas calling up like local YMCA's

but y'all got a team let's do this do you want to fight Sweeney versus 2020 Central Arkansas, the Time Warrior Challenge. Wake up. I know it's not necessarily responsible, and I'd like to go ahead and excuse all of this by saying, I acknowledge every single caveat that anyone has about playing football in the year 2020. But let me also note ahead of all this that UCA's taking on anyone, anyone, anyone, anytime about the loss that Tennessee is going to sustain to Central Arkansas.

Everybody's going to lose to him. there's no shame i know i absolutely love these hill jack like like sub ozart ronan just wandering the wastes of the middle of the country that is beautiful desperate to take on anyone and their thirst for blood and violence this guy just favorite ever description of this team tackle me tackle me that's i just need to feel live tackle me um let's see number 12 from from my friend Josh Black. What better team to get the accolades associated

with being a champion in a year when everything has been ruined for everyone, the Auburn Tigers. However, strong argument. I can see that. Hey, COVID is all in. However, Auburn is trumped at number 11 by Minnesota from Jeremy Hanson 15.

The only big 10 team to win a game in 2020. They beat Auburn and SEC team. At the very least, we should give them the pretend Rose Bowl bid. Minnesota, number 11. I'm confused as to how... This is another game that everyone saw. The Big Ten as a whole is having, like, a series of small meltdowns

to the point where parents are like, we're going to go pick it outside a Brazilian steakhouse. That's how mad we are. We won't go in. And... We're going to go in. Okay. No, no.

You see, inside, George. Spinach dip is safe to consume because it's been heated to a molten quality that kills all bacteria. Hey, Cliff, if you had this mafongo, it's incredible. See, it's on the salad bar, but it's not salad, but you get it anyway. I don't want to hear about the difference between bacteria and viruses, Herm. Social distancing, see, this rapier that he's serving me prime rib on is six feet long. All the lives return to posting Q&N lyrics under the table on their phones.

I remain confused. Does Q&N have songs? Probably. I just made that up. I'm sorry. Definitely not the person that being in the Q&R. Shit. I remain confused that amidst everybody like losing your shirt.

Wait, wait, sorry, time out. Ryan, sorry, time out. Jason Spencer, who's going to be the first Q and on rapper? The first? Oh, God. I mean, I got a real. Ice Cube's already gone, right? Knauz.

Nause. Nause might be Q, but I think I see. He really might. Really dangerously close. just ancient knowledge yeah like that's yeah because naz has been pretty cool for a while and everybody's like oh noz hasn't done anything embarrassing it's time because it's all being posted on yeah it's all being posted on 16 chan yeah he's due i'm glad we settled that ryan please continue how is pj fleck the one who's just like being quiet and calm because he beat auburn

well that's because everyone in an emergency situation is an inverse of their typical self therefore PJ Fleck who in a moment of placid Pacific happiness where everything's going well it's going to look like a lunatic all of a sudden and everything goes weird remember the weird GoPro that's why PJ Fleck appears perfectly normal right now and people like Urban Meyer you're like I wouldn't trust that lunatic with anything nothing I'll also buy for a dollar that the second the big 10 announced the season was canceled PJ Fleck put a peloton in a Faraday cage and was just like I'm just

going to cycle until next fall you you go get me when it's time to play does he have bid with the lightning suits like casting lightning at the Faraday cage Tesla coil shooting off he's like motivation oh my god this is PJ flex prestige now I want a peloton in a Faraday cage it's your fault Ryan that means you idiot I'm going to go buy this and it's your fault There's a whole basement full of dead PJ flex. I just keep making more of me. Just putting himself in a copier going, Replicate!

Number 10, LSU. Evan Sachs, we won the most recent national championship in any collegiate sport. You think that'd be a really good argument. Maybe you should be number one. Unfortunately, you're number 10. Number nine, Texas from Sarah Cannon. The defending national champs conference wouldn't let us play.

so we took that as forfeiting and claimed it by squatters rights. LSU scared to play Texas. Texas is back. Are you telling me that now Texas is biting Oklahoma's move? Yeah, I was going to say that's more of a Sooner's. It's more of a dirt bandits move. Well, Oklahoma can't do nothing about it. They're down there at number 21.

Are you saying, by the way, this is Texas gentrifying Oklahoma's move, which is totally an Austin thing to do. That is such, much more believable. Yeah. Number eight, total coincidence, Texas A&M, one spot ahead of Texas. that it doesn't have nothing to see here, folks. Jason, why did you mention that? Oh, it's just, I was just making sure I had them

had them in order, my eyes went crooked. I was just curious as to why you brought that up. Prescott B on Twitter, we, A&M, have already claimed worse. It's true. Texas A&M's history of claiming national titles is downright Alabamian. Let's see, so they were one spot ahead of Texas. All right, okay, good.

And just like in actual national titles, they have as many attempts, but way fewer successes. Also, A&M has claimed the 20XX national title for Jimbo Fisher. There's a plaque and everything, so it's time to cash in that briefcase. This is definitely 20X. Yeah, we are in 20XX. So is Liberty University.

If you go by fucked up Roman numerals, this is 20XX is 2020. I hadn't thought about it in a minute due to the state of the world, but what is happening to Jimbo's hair during this time of lockdown i'm afraid that hair island has succumbed to the effects of global warming i mean hair island is the only place is the only safe place to be in the world the virus hasn't made it that far in we've never really brought this up because it's an audio format however there is a photo of jimbo fisher i have shared on several occasions of him in a texas aanm track suit wandering the practice fields looking like he slept underneath a cow carcass like he he looks bad he looks very bad he looks exactly as bad some people go he's got 70 million dollars

you should look a lot better than that no dog some of us go the howard hughes road he's looking like he finally has the visage he deserves after decades of being a grown man who insists on being called jimbo i hope he comes out for a m's first game patchy hair plugs you know not taking root whatever and just with a straight face is like yep i did locks a love I did. Jimbo is the coach I keep waiting to light up a Marlboro Red on the sideline. And then slowly eat it. Yes.

Solid gold Marlboro Red. Smoking and all, right? You're going to need a way price of your cigarette there. Paul Johnson taught me to eat these. Yeah. Or just, you know, like some sort of, like he has enough money where he can afford the chewing tobacco of the gods. he can afford the chewing tobacco where they go this is harvested by Tibetan

beekeepers who climbed vines in Nepalese caves to get only the tenderest tobacco yes the bees make this tobacco the bees are in fact subcontracted the tobacco is made of bees chew a mouthful of bees so Jimbo's over there chawing on bees

he's a man of the people now you're speaking Paul Johnson's language again yeah I'd be like hey I've been doing that for free. Just put my face right in the hive start chewing. Just let him crawl right in. I don't even have to stick my hand in there like I'm Winnie of the damn poo.

You know what? I can see Gus Johnson joining him in that too. Gus Johnson's a guy who you're like, hey, could you put your face in this beehive and just start chewing? It's like, Outstanding! Yes! Oh man, now I miss Gus. Gus! With my face in the hive!

Called me Papa Bear! number seven a team with again a really good argument to be number one they have already been number one this off season though so michigan let's park you at number seven uh winners as always of the charity bowl from johnny rosen delivers the following michigan because we've already won our first co-big ten title since 2004 which i think that was the single funniest thing i saw you know what It's the most well, it's the most well researched and legalistic, and I can't think of a better Michigan brand thing there. You'll see clearly in subsection 8D that in the event. We don't want to overclaim.

That would be, that would be the purview of number six, Alabama, where I think a good 5% of our respondents where Alabama fans saying, I don't give a shit what you say. We're going to claim it no matter what. They know, they know. We are Legion and we are inevitable. If we are aware of our inevitable legioness. Number five, Notre Dame, MKM 41, we joined a conference. That's awesome. Notre Dame joined a conference.

Notre Dame, you get the honorary just outside the playoff spot for that, because your schedule wasn't tough enough because you're playing the ACC. Number four. It's funny because it's true. Yeah, hey, Notre Dame schedule got easier because they joined a conference. like substantially easier yeah yeah uh number four pit georgia tech and michigan fans all claim to have won the last pandemic national championship georgia tech you were the year before um pit had the best 20 or best 1918 claim michigan's claim was fair pit number four in the playoff i do not want to give

pit number one we need to give pit the lowest ranking that is where they're most dangerous you know poor claim i really i thought you said georgiate claim you know a last pandemic national championship and I thought, well, 1990, let's see, 89. Was Hulkomania really? That popped away in 89? Man, 1990. Oh, it was wild.

Yeah, was it about to run all over me then? Or was it just more of a light trot? I think Hulkomania was wearing down at that point. Yeah, I was thinking this more 86 thing, man, Georgia Tech, you're full of shit. Number three, USC from Scrum Half Vinny. Not a USC fan doing the honorable thing, but I vote the Natty goes to USC so we can get the headline,

USC fires Clay Hilton after 2020 National Championship. This is brilliant. Number two, Georgia from Nathan J. Lawrence. If we win this one, you can still make fun of us for not really winning one since 1980. Don't worry, we will. And number one, of course, several people. The most important school in the country,

the one who set all this shit in motion. We go back to Thanksgiving 2019. A young man scores a touchdown, crawls on all fours. Cox a hind leg, pretends to urinate in celebration, swings the result of a rivalry game, resulting in, I forget, however, many coaches changing jobs in real life as an actual consequence of a man pretending to pee. Hand missed to be changing its state flag.

Eventually, possibly, somehow, and maybe a roundabout way, resulting in a Confederate flag coming down. That's a heroic. dog pee right there. Ole Miss, number one, count it. I'm here for it. I can't think of a better, I really can't think of a better team to finish one

than this year than Ole Miss. Because nothing would be. Also, for once, we need to reward them for their behavior. I like this because the other teams that you've named. Also, you just gave Lane Kiff in a national championship. Also, Ole Miss,

how can we tell you not to go number one? you already went number one if you told if you told georgia or texas or it or most of the teams on this list of you said like hey we're going to give you like a share of the 2020 title they would like most of their fans or at least a good chunk would be like man that's just not real if you told old miss you are a co-champ of 2020 like they're going to tear the goalpost down they're going to like absolutely they're going to be like yeah fuck you state you know yes we're run this shit absolutely they will they will no there will be no shame there will be no part of them that says like well technically no not at all they'll they will embrace it for what it really is and

that's as good a reason to give it to them as any because there are several other schools on this list who have plausible cases that they've made for this but who i don't want to hand it to do just because i don't want to hear all their well i don't want to hear all their sam the eagle rumblings about we should have earned this i don't know how comfortable i am with this now no no take the omiss approach in this one thing only yeah can i not in everything but i want to bring ryan into the florida fan i put up guardrails oh god i want to bring ryan into the florida fan bubble bubble of truth here okay and i'm sitting here we're already talked about tennessee do we have to do this too so what are holly and i doing while y'all do this i'm playing animal crossing and have been this

entire time okay i'm just going to i'm just going to look at look at trees go ahead i'm actually doing the same thing in animal crossing why don't you watch aghast while we have this discussion can i know i know jason no no you're you're in the cone of silence you're in that life you're all no remember this is your job buddy weirdly the cicadas are louder no the dark the dark the dark mark of ronzoch's face on your forearm is lighting up right now and i know you you must obey it so You're inside the Florida fan cone of silence with me. Okay. And I have a proposal on the table that the committee has given us for how,

for how 2020 is going to work. And it's this, that either Old Miss with Lane Kiffin can win the least legitimate national title of all time, or Florida can win it. You and I are determining this, okay? And if we, if we, we can't deadlock,

we have to come to an accord, okay? Do we have to discuss this or are we like, is this like a prisoner's dilemma thing where we both have to say, and if we both agree like no no we can we can discuss it we can discuss a lot of different prisoners because i'm but i'm gonna go ahead is really the kind of place where you discuss things before you do them yes it is because yeah because you have to ask questions like did you bring the fireworks yeah no wait you

answered your question prison is never a dilemma in florida how correct so so tuesday so now you and i are sitting here and i'm gonna go ahead i will beat the prisoner's dilemma to the punch by saying i would go ahead and and in this cone of silence and secrecy, I'm going to go ahead and award this to Old Miss strictly for the comedic value because I'm pretty sure that Florida at one point will put together another national title.

I don't think Old Miss ever will. I'm going to go ahead. And I'm going to go ahead and let this happen so that Old Miss fans, right, all 7,000 of them on this planet can ride as hard as they possibly can for a coach who, when he accepts it, is going to go, I don't know,

I gain like 30 pounds, is here and I only have eight girlfriends. Go rubs. Also, I'm going to go coach the Los Angeles Rams now. I'm going to go coach the Rams now. By the way, Marshall Henderson is on Ole Misses Basketball's staff now. So

And the way they announced it was not like, hey, here's Marshall Henderson. Yeah, it was not. Look at this fine upstanding young man who is now wearing a necktie. No, they gave him like fucking slim shady on the intro video. Yeah. How did they get him into a necktie? I I don't think they've done that.

Maybe they've tattooed one. Yeah. How did you, how did you sink a yacht on a recruiting trip? So, thing was, what happened was. Got the signature. It's like a slap bracelet, but it's a tie. Yes. Yeah.

Oh, that's a great idea. Hang on, hang on. Can we scrub that from the episode and actually release that? Yeah. You don't want anyone stealing that idea. It's podcast business, by the way. Let's fire that. that up about an hour and a half into the show subscribe to moon crew dot substack.com

podcast business that's podcast business what's a business it's a business on the podcast marshall henderson tie you throw it around his deck and he goes ah that's slapped subscribe to mooncru.substack.com where spencer me alex kersner and richard johnson do a couple newsletters a week and maybe other stuff we're still figuring it out If you have bought Sinful Seven, our e-book, Western, about the history of college sports and associated Western stuff, please read it. I've gathered from this process

that people read at very, very different paces, so that's totally fine. Take your time, enjoy it. It's really good. But like, maybe what I'm looking for is like, I want more of a sense of like how far along we are. Give us a progress, a progress note. How about that?

If you are reading the Sinful Seven, Let maybe me and Spencer know how far along you are in it. Just so we can get a sense of where people are. How does that sound, Spencer? Tell us what chilling familiarity is you've spotted. If you have finished it, maybe tell a friend. Yeah, chilling familiarity is everything. Pretty much everything.

No, she's asking the audience, not you. Okay. Spencer. Hey, Spencer, when you were writing this e-book, did you notice anything seem familiar? not a not a thing why do you ask just checking that's why they call it fiction thanks dory there's there's um spencer i agree with you we should give this title of old miss for two reasons one the SEC will be spiteful as shit and insist that s that old miss did not win the conference

and so you will have the unique circumstance of old miss not having a conference title for a year in which they won the national championship more importantly somewhere do that No, never, never. No, never. Somewhere someone will write a 400 page extremely serious, extremely like grit and determination history book of the Old Miss 2020 championship football season. Team of destiny. 478 pages sold in airports everywhere about a season that didn't fucking happen. Like Lane Kiffin's face

And the title's like Spirit of a conqueror The faith that moved mountains Conquistador Oh no no no no no you need something You need something this is Mississippi Right so you need something like riverin You need something like you know

And a great flood did come Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah well it's you got to have some like Devil Delta Lane yeah you need some of that It's Lane looking coquettishly back over his shoulder at a urinal and it's like a river runs through it when the levy broke i want i want the 2020

old miss national championship retrospective book to be written by someone from new york city can we get that i want john bacon to write it yeah i want someone from new york to write it but to never gone to mississippi and only do it based on mississippi in films right like sweaty and covered in vaseline laying kiffin relaxed on the porch in his white suit down there on the human Mood fiddle. Where they say the... That's the title. Down there on the humid fiddle.

Where the mosquitoes. No Bible verses. Mama was dead and I didn't feel so good myself. A donkey was his mama. We went to the lunatic asylum to watch them change their sheets for the day. This was our Netflix. It was hotter than Jerry Falwell. sitting in the corner.

The devil swam by in the humid air. I had dirt on my blue collar and blood under my fingernails. One other piece of podcast business, cofi.com slash moon crew. Kofi, I don't know. For full cast newsletter, et cetera, tips donations. We have a couple starting ideas as possible perks for monthly boosters.

Booster feels like it really, that's a football term, it's a moon term. That's boosters, sure. Does that mean the NCAA can force somebody to disassociate with y'all? I hope so. I mean, that would be to their benefit if the NCAA were to step in. I just wanted to float the idea as a potential booster item. Maybe a Discord.

Maybe where we do a little bit of bring back a little bit of Saturday, cannibal slack, a little Sinful Seven book club, a little Twitch streaming, maybe some movie TV watch-along type stuff. Just let us know what y'all think. let us know if that would be maybe something you might like maybe you get access to the prototype videos of the slap tie maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe get a percent discount when homefield releases slap tie slap tie dot com maybe you get some hot videos of disastrous actual tests of the slap tie on poor unwitting subject watch spencer beheaded by slap tie

I want to check because we can't even get one around spencer's neck it's going to have to be like rebar we had this conversation we tied together two slap tis we determined that spencer has worn a tie once in the last 10 years yeah it was that actually was at holly's wedding yeah slaptie dot com to be fair i made him wear a tie but i also asked him to shave his mustache into a bootleggers friend for the ceremony and he did that and i appreciate it so i asked my wife when i have last worn a tie and the best we could come up with was 2006 i am in need of slaptie.com. It's a man. Slaptie.com

is available. Dotnet. This is a dotnet operation. Let's be on the time. Dot biz. I don't feel like we're ready for dot biz. This is a new thing. So this is a new thing Google domains is doing when you go

and you're like, hey, I want to like see if this domain is available. It now gives you advantages and considerations. Here are the advantages. Oh, no. This name has a popular editing.com. And this name isn't too long. I agree.

with both of those. The considerations. People might hear Thai, T-H-A-I instead of Thai, T-I-E, and type the wrong name. So we're starting a restaurant. Yep. And my favorite, I swear to God, this is real. This name might be too similar to slate.com. Oh, sold.

So we're starting a, so we're going to sell slap bracelet neckties. We're going to start a Thai restaurant. And Joel, Joel Anderson works for us now. Yes. we will start making good podcasts is what we'll do um can i do can i do real quick just eyeballing it ball projections based on this top 25 i haven't done it i haven't done it all all year scratching your weird it's cool yeah man just like jerry fall actually no he's not he's watching well he is today i'm jerry fall well i'm watching you scratch your weird okay got it we as long as we're all clear

on the arrangement then um so this year here's what's Where two or more are gathered, Jerry Falwell's in the corner watching. Jerry Falwell is there in his own name. So I looked at this is a rose sugar playoff year, which really pisses me off. This is the good rotation, and we won't get that. We won't get the rose sugar. We'll be right back to the bullshit year where it's like the playoffs on December 26th, you know, that type of shit. But Rose and Sugar semifinals, those are easy.

Number one, Ole Miss versus number four, Pitt. Very normal. Number two, Georgia versus number three USC, standard. typical. Cotton, you're going to take the top SEC team. That would be Bama against top Big 12 team. That would be Texas. All right, Bama, Texas, Cotton Bowl. Boom. Let's see. The orange, we're going to need ACC, top ACC. Is that Notre Dame? Pretty far down there. Oh, yeah, that's Notre Dame. Excellent. That's Notre Dame. And so then

that would be top ACC against the next team from the Big Ten slash SEC slash Notre Dame. So it's Notre Dame versus Notre Dame. Perfect. The Peach Bowl at large. I love into a C competition. Notre Dame spring game. Hey, Notre Dame just strengthened its own schedule.

I mean, when Notre Dame goes to Miami, great things happen. As Steve Bannon was in the news, and that reminded me of his tweet about Notre Dame going to Miami and beating Alabama. God. It's full of great ideas. The perfect tweet, by the way. I think it's crazy. It's like hashtag like, Braint parts sports.

Shake down the echoes. And then there's nothing. There's nothing for another like six months. I just really hope that is the only bright board sports tweet that ever happened. Like what bright barred sports has been canceled. Info sports. Thank you, Bama. Let's see.

Peach Bowl. Let's see. Let's go. Let's go. I mean, we could go A&M. They haven't been there in a while. Maybe we throw. So how about A&M LSU?

We went that game to happen. God, let's make sure it happens. And then Fiesta Bowl. Michigan is our top at large, and they would have to face a non-power, Michigan, Boise State, Fiesta Bowl. Yeah, they're going to lose that. Yeah.

I mean, I feel better now. Thank you. Thank you for letting you do this. Yeah. Michigan on the big stage? When has that ever gone wrong? this is this is not the big stage i'm sure um it's called spencer it's called the big house oh wait i just realized bull reps are still going to figure out a way to like travel and shit

they're a hundred percent going to be like well we know like you know it it would be irresponsible not to earn marriott points while we determine if uh if somebody's going to be playing this will finally be the year we top the greatest bowl rep trip of all time which was the pinstripe bowl team turning up at ls u bama this is the year where bowl reps go everywhere they would usually with no games happening but then appear on a zoom call from the hotel so there's somebody there's somebody who is on like a remote Hawaiian boutique hotels, Wi-Fi on a Zoom going

we just had to check out the Warriors had to see how it was going they look great on this old footage that I'm watching from a resort in my colored jacket so it's a business expense.

I do like that the playoff committee A will continue at least they said a couple weeks ago they're going to meet in person which sure entirely unnecessary. If you scroll through who is

who's on the playoff committee, A, the chair is Iowa AD Gary Barda. There's an Arizona State professor on here. There's the AD at Wyoming. There's the AD of

Colorado. There's Ronnie Lott. USC. There are all these people who it's like a bunch of old guy. Yeah. pretty much we got any war criminals this year did they finally yeah yeah is rclocombe a war criminal did we ever settle that probably okay