Shutdown Fullcast - AND THE SQUEAL OF THE PIG SHALL FLOAT ON THE AIR

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Spencer offers up the legal defense of "I forgot"  Hard truths told about the site of this weekend's live Fullcast, Indianapolis   It's nice! Please don't tell anyone!  Also we're hanging out at the Michigan Public LIbrary this weekend, fall through Fight songs are reviewed even though no one knows the words to them  What fight song respectfully refuses to say the sacred name of a dog god?  What fight song could double as a mid-show Gilbert and Sullivan number?  What fight song could double as a terrifying Central Asian national anthem?  What fight song came from a decade where everyone was clearly having too good a time?  We're all watching the J-Lo movie where she pilots a mech  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My day got fixed with one single sentence. Oh, oh, sorry. Should I get that sentence to everyone? Yeah. Rudy Giuliani forgot to turn off his Zoom mic when he went to go pee during his arraignment. Brought to you by four seasons total pee casting. We really know too much about that guy. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't. And in the age of HD, like we've also seen, like, we also know where all of his, like, problem areas are on his face like I know way too much about that man's pores just doing the full naked gun just peeing on it

I didn't actually listen to it did you no but I'm sure that's what it's not I'm sure it was as clumsy and stupid as you could possibly imagine it being right the only the only person I know who listened to it was Floyd who said he's not a doctor but Rudy might want to go see his urologist I don't know what I don't know what he means

by that they could go either direction it's rude if it's going either direction then you definitely want to see your urologist yeah oh that's a terrific point accurate um as long as it's accurate you don't need to i'm very thrilled that florida is being sued for an idiotic n i'll pledge do you okay i have a question when this was first when he was first being recruited do you guys remember what the reporting was when this story went down which part or when this when this actually happened when the the roshada story when this actually happened the first time no what was what was the part because no i i was asking because i seem to remember i remember all these rumblings around his recruiting right and it was something very weird

and you know we we i remember asking like all these people like you know is it grades no you know did they find you know human heads in his locker no um i just remember everybody being slightly confused and just coming back with with words like this is a very weird situation and now that we're getting the details I guess that all makes sense yeah yeah that also good by the way good luck trying to prove the part where somebody calls them on the phone is like yeah you're going to get rich and here's a million dollars that's what I judge could do that is this just a thing you can do um this is evidently a thing that you can do in recruiting.

I mean, you can do it in any walk of life. Yeah. I mean, any state where verbal contracts are binding. Hey, Spencer. Yes. Can I pay you $50 million to do one activity

of my choosing at any point in the next four years? You know what? That's so mean to do that to Spencer because you know he won't remember. Exactly. I don't think that's a legal defense for me. though I don't think I get to say your honor in my defense I forgot

that'd be a neat trick I don't think that wait no wait that's like Rudy wait no that's Rudy's entire thing yeah that and that and you know Zip just Rudy Pee in here

I have a Rudy can't fail joke I I there's one element in here that is high comedy though Rashada a transfer to of all places Georgia asked Kirby Smart if he could

sue Florida. Asked his coach for permission to sue Florida and I'm like This is the most affection I've ever felt for Kirby. You're asking permission to sue Florida? That's it. Like this is Godfrey described this as big Dan Mullen

energy and it's not a compliment but I don't hate Kirby for this. No. I mean, what if it goes deeper? What if, like, that's the reason Georgia, except, you know, like, transferred him in. To file the lawsuit. Oh, dang.

To take part in a brewing lawsuit against Florida. It would be diabolical, but it would also be one step ahead of Florida, which that's kind of where things have been. So congratulations again, Georgia. A few dozen ahead for a while now. What's one more? There was another assertion level on the website that I was curious about because I had always been of the impression that the reverse was true.

Is Georgia's law school better than Florida? at the moment it is higher ranked yes I just thought that Florida's was maybe I was thinking of Florida as being more entertaining Florida's is one named after a personal injury and tobacco litigation lawyer yeah that's just why I assumed

they were good yeah another highlight in Florida's history as an institution was one of the board of governors or I forget what they're called but who oversee the law school being caught on tape at one of these meetings going Anyone troubled by our law school being named after a Jew?

Doesn't that bother anybody in this room? Ah, that's not how I thought that sentence was going to end. No. That's what you call a dog leg. Sure. Yeah, being caught up. Or is that more of a goat leg because it didn't turn until the ankle? Yeah.

That's another fine moment for us as an institution. That is also, there's the one specialty Florida has is, of course, the scammiest and best specialty of all. It is a top five school for, drum roll please, tax law. tax law that's right basically basically legitimate magic card multiplier on your finances that's what it is right

like you go to uf law to learn how to go well if I match this with this and then if I stack this I get plus three on this Thank you. Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall.

I am joined today by Jason Kirk. Hi. Holly Anderson. Michael R. Serber. And in absentia, Ryan Nanny could not make it today. We have finally bullied Ryan off the show. At last.

Come on. I have finally bullied Ryan off the show. Yes, you did. And we just let it happen. We're no better than, we're no better than accomplices. Shouldn't it be Michael Amserber? Michael Am server.

Michael Am and R. Serber. I like, I like guys who have like three initials in the middle. Like you're some sort of like extremely deep. Like you've got a pre-workout on your monogram? Yes. Like the George R.R. Martin thing.

Like, if you could be. Michael Amrap Serber. That'd be amazing. As much rock as possible is what it would stand for. Today we have a couple of different agenda items. If you have not, by the way, we could lead with a little bit of... Are you ready for the show? Yeah.

A little bit of podcast business. A show show. Yeah. This is a busy week for us because we got a show show. We got an in-person show. We got one of them live things where we show up in someone's neighborhood, turn on some mics. And then we make up a podcast. live on the spot.

There may be a little more preparation than that, but not much. Not really not much. We're going to be in Indianapolis. That's right. Home of the Indianapolis 500 and also home of America's finest apparel producer. That's right. Homefield apparel headquartered in the heart of the prairie. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, where I missed it by about 800 miles.

Go with it. um it's there's a lot it's flat it's flat it's like beginners prairie it's like you know yeah it's easy easy grade prairie basically but yes easier than the prairie yeah yes and we will be in indianapolis great lake plains fans are coming for all y'all yes what are they going to say excuse me gosh geez oh darn go throw a ranch on you in the parade wellp guess we'll better get going I shouldn't say that. Do you remember that time John Boyce made a very cheeky blog post about Indianapolis and the entire city of Indianapolis came for his neck? Yes. Yes, I do. Especially when he dared to joke about their cuisine. Something that evidently people take very, very seriously. I do not know, by the way, did you see the Formula One like promo for the NFL, the Lewis Hamilton as part owner of the Denver Broncos sampling different things from.

cities on the bronco schedule and what they did for indianapolis was ranch dressing with carrots and celery that's that's what they did i mean it's not shrimp he thought it was delicious yeah because it is yeah yeah are you saying they fed him a heart smart snack they fed him a heart yeah that was not that was not the case for pitts pittsburgh it was like fried it was like fried fried potato pierogis and he's like, these are incredible. And I'm like, right on. Right on. These tastes like they could shorten your lifespan significantly.

Yes, that's correct. It's an easy country to understand. Said the F1 driver. Yes, said the guy who drives 200 miles per hour for a living. But yes, we will be in Indianapolis. Very excited about this. I believe. There are tens of tickets left.

Yes. Yes, I believe we have tens of tickets, if you would like to. There's like 12. I don't know. I don't know the exact number. Yes. As of recording, we've got about 12. We're at half-liter barbecue.

Where you will get along with your ticket, you're going to get fed. Yes. A person cannot live on home field shirts alone, so it is not at home field as in effect at a barbecue restaurant. Homefield products are for wearing on the outside of your body. the world's first post carb day live podcast i can't wait to see the shape that some people are going to be in coming directly from carb day because oh boy that's a fiesta so you're going from carburetors day to carbohydrates day that's correct that's correct many many carbohydrates so if you would like please stop on by say hi take a free take your shirt that comes with

admission. I thought you were going to say, take your shirt off. Take shirt off. Swung your on your head. Who gives a shit? Come on. Woo! It's Indianapolis.

Sin City. What happens yet, remember, what happens in Indianapolis is well documented. What happens in Indianapolis is. It takes place in the many fine and closed skyways for pedestrian access. That was in Indianapolis finishes quickly because it's a very efficiently designed town. It is. It is very efficiently. And you probably, it also probably gets.

Instagrammed on a poorly photographed plate of St. Elmo's steak. Because remember, only one restaurant in Indianapolis. For the NFL draft analyst in you. In three weeks when he listens to this episode, Alex is going to call us and tell us we're still being mean. It's going to be so mad. No, it's a great man. No, no, it's not. I don't know what there is to...

Just disappointed. I don't know what there is to pretend is insulting. It's legitimately wonderfully designed out. Yeah, you can get in and get out. Take that, Indianapolis. hard truths about Indianapolis. We're getting out on Saturday. Yeah.

Going to Michigan. Yes, going to Michigan. You're in another show, sort of. Yes, where we'll be making an appearance at the swing in its joint in Ann Arbor. That would be the Ann Arbor Public Library. Downtown Library, baby. That's all right. Downtown Library.

No tickets for this one. Just RSVP via the link in any of our social feeds. We're going to hang out at the library for a couple hours. And then the Michigan blogger boys have set up an after party for us at a second location, the name of which escapes me completely. Yes, always follow a blogger to a second location, well-known truth. Can I tell you all about a merch adventure I'm having? Yes.

I'm actually having two because I wasn't sure that the stickers we ordered for our Michigan donors were going to arrive in time. So I had them shipped to my parents' house, which is halfway between here and there. And I just got the very mysterious, your email is being, or your package is being rescheduled email from UPS. So that feud continues. But I was looking for something that wasn't, I was looking for something a little bit out of the ordinary to give to our Michigan donors this year. because, you know, we've, we, at one point we had, let's say, what have we done? We did key chains. We did grill aprons for the donors one year.

Famously at our first live show, we had the welcome at with the 17 Ws. I was like, what haven't we done? I was deep in some search string for like football party favors. And on like page 17 of the three-fourths of the way through the party city catalog, I found, I don't know if I should show these, you guys are what, I'm going to see if I can describe this you know those those giant foam fingers that you put on in the stands that look like a hand with the finger up you know and as a did you guys know they make miniature versions of those that just fit on one finger but it's still the whole hand with the number one so it's like growing out of your hand is another smaller hand holding up a smaller index finger like a fractal yeah like a recursion yes like an AI hand hang out let me uh vamp for a second and let me find the link to this thing because it is absolutely terrifying looking and it is i'm not sure i'm going to be able to present myself or to prevent myself from buying 500 of these just to give them out yeah wherever we go for the rest of the summer this is the dumbest thing i've ever seen full confession uh fractal recursion imagery and little thing within a little thing within a little thing oh yeah this is going to upset you by the way it can it can absolutely vapor lock my brain

well this isn't going to help can't stop thinking about it link is in the chat yeah I get fully incepted I cannot move it's the only thing I could think about I'm about to experience that right now will it sound any

oh my god go scroll through the photos why are there so many I don't know the baseball player like they could illustrate the baseball player one no no no it's the American flag one the american flag one is incredible um let's let's look at the look at the the literature that comes

with it wrap your fingers in the right size it says oh hmm the size of oh this is good either this is either good AI text that supports it or someone who language is first language is not english anyway some of our merch is lost in the mail from Michigan so I don't promise not to buy 500 of these the baseball player in the Amazon picture has six fingers

and that is yeah for a second I thought he was doing the stone cold Steve Austin but he's got another he's got like a finger on the other side yeah so this thing will mutate your genetics oh my God it really does no what the hell wait he is holding up his middle finger

but there's three more fingers right so there is no yeah there's three fingers to the left of it and a finger on the right or is that is his hand tilted and we're seeing the inside knuckle of his middle finger maybe he's just got a lump on his uh between his thumb and his and his listen yeah maybe it's a tumor don't be afraid to let your old body die welcome the new flesh and your new foam finger atop your old finger now i'm looking at the number of fingers everybody okay there's just one girl in one of these who has this who's wearing this thing on her thumb. What the fuck, ma'am? I'm looking more closely,

and I think it is just a hand cancer. I think it's a little... I think it's a little ham flesh. I think you got a little... A little ham node? Yeah, he's just got a fat sort of web between his index. I'm trying to replicate it with my own hand, and it might actually be the middle

finger... Like, that's what... Are we seeing that? That man's just got some fat hand meat. That's all he's got to go. I'm looking. in my own hand and I'm able to see my middle knuckle between my thumb and yeah I wish we could screen cut this folks try this at home

try it at home try to make try to make a try to make a try to make the meat between your index finger and your thumb real fat that's what you're doing then you can look like this guy that we're describing on a podcast who's on an Amazon website anyway this is my backup plan

if you be on schemes to find I'm just going to go to party city and get 1,200 miniature oh man what if you put like one on there's nobody in here who has one on each finger because i think that's who you really have to fear because that's where it really gets recursive i think it's when you have an even smaller one on top of the on top of the finger hand what if you okay so what if you had so it's your hand with a giant foam finger on it but then on the foam finger there's one of these yeah okay

And it just keeps going. Lots to think about. Careful. It'll break your mind. Already there, buddy. Additionally, in show business, both of our Portland shows are already sold out. We sold out Portland, baby.

So there you have it. Now can we talk about how we were worried that nobody would want to come to this thing? Who was worried that? Brian. Oh, well. Who's not here? He's not here to explain those worries.

He's off. He's off, worrying. That's probably what he's doing. He can only show when he's worried about something. Off musing. That means he feels fine right now. He's free. Yeah. We don't know anything about what Ryan feels. Also going on sale this Saturday are tickets for August 24th's Raleigh, North Carolina Sports Podcast Festival presented by Breeze Through.

Where you could actually, where you could actually take your shirt off and wave around a helicopter, and it's not only legal, it is encouraged, because we will be in the great state of North Carolina. yeah and we were in fact headlining that festival the big time festival headliners normal normal for us our writer specializes that we get the spicy branch we're a festival headliner and then a festival opener right are we talking about that second we take gig we haven't signed that

we're saying we're taking so many you have so many you have so many chances to be weird to us in person coming up you don't even know yeah there there is there is one more that uh we we might be able to announce pretty soon all right interesting it's summer major league baseball's in full swing and there's one app for you if you want last minute deals on major league baseball games and that's game time dot co that's right game time dot c oh i'm looking at the app right now and i'm picking out america's team really the kansas city royals uh and at coffman stadium just in a couple days there's tickets available

for 16 dollars and then well i don't want to up the stakes too much here but let's to next week, it looks like they're playing the Chicago White Sox, there are tickets available right now for $3. You could see a Major League Baseball game in Chicago for $3. What stadium you ask? Not important. It's in Chicago. But GameTime.co is not

just for Major League Baseball games, even though you can get great deals for that. You can also get great deals for concerts, football games. Those are going to be coming up pretty soon. You can find them on gametime.co. I use GameTime.co. I use GameTime.com to purchase last minute tickets for an Olivia Rodrigo concert.

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In fact, I'm seeing a little bit called the beaches in late September. And where did I get my ticket? That's right. Even ahead of time. I didn't wait until the last minute because GameTime. not CO has you covered then as well. That's what I love about it. Whenever I want to get a ticket for an event,

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Normally podcast business comes with a little jaunty tune, a ditty. Sing it backwards. If you will. No, I just tried to do my brain, and it did the same thing as when I think about. It's real joggous. It sounds like. Randy Newman doing it. So when the video game comes out, we know that at least a school or two has put that song in the video game.

How many of our younger listeners are going to instantly reach out to us to say, hey, they put your song in the game? We already had a Reddit moment during basketball season when somebody said that Clemson's band is playing the full cast song. Yeah, it happens like a couple times a season. And it's like, okay, they're younger sports fans. So if you are one of those younger people, you're going to learn some things today. If you're one of the older people, you might learn some things today. Because if you don't know, that comes from a fight song, a fight song. Not the fight song.

It's important to note, hold that tiger claimed by multiple schools. Also, not necessarily the official song. This is a thing that sometimes happens where there's a fight song. and it's used, but there's another song that might be more famous. For instance, for instance, Tennessee, right? Tennessee has an official fight song, right?

Or has a fight song. It's not the fight song, though. The fight song is Rocky Top. And that's the one that, if I'm not mistaken, Holly, at one point the administration tried to put the kibosh on that. My mom was in the band when this happened. Yeah.

And there was a resounding hell nah. The band, well, the official fight song is like just, it's one of those, you know, like, extremely nondescript songs. If it has words, I'm not aware of it. And then, you know, Rocky Top came along in the mid-70s and the band started playing it. And it was incredibly popular. And they started playing it after touchdowns. At one point, the administration was like, hey, what if you played that?

And everyone was like, no. And now they play them both. so like they'll play like one little section of the fight song like while the extra point is being set up but the second the extra point goes through they start rocky top yeah and i believe you i believe that is also sometimes used for coming out of the tea you get that right i think that also happens don't know yeah i don't know yeah i think it happens sometimes because i've heard this song it is it is such a nondescript piece of music that i don't know it's like it just sounds like it's like create a player song so i'm glad it's dead it's dead it's dead much like the federal agents who went looking for our moochine this being the only college football podcast i know you're like oh man i've got so many thoughts and want to hear your thoughts on an NCAA settlement on damages retroactive applied retroactively to money withheld from amateur athletes especially when our lawyer's not here yeah when our lawyer's not here that'd be great you know um we could just read numbers at you 2.5 billion great commentary 20 years great commentary it's fantastic No, we're not going to do that today. What I want to talk about was no one knows the words to any of these songs. And they especially don't know the weirdest words. So I thought we would play a little game where I am going to take excerpts from several notable college football fight songs.

Read the lyrics and see if you can guess or even confidently identify which ones they are. I will start off easy. I will be gentle. Okay. Because I will also stay. I know most of the words to orange and blue I flub a preposition or two every now and then

but I know Florida's fight song all right Holly you know all the words you know all the words to Rocky Top correct yeah okay Serber you are looking at me with a knowing glance

do you know you made a rhyme and it was it was sick as fuck oh I'm just dropping bars and don't even know I'm doing it right yeah yeah that's uh this is this is very fight songish because sometimes they accidentally do drop

a quality bar totally unintentionally jason you do not know kennesaw states fight song correct no i should say to be fair i think is there i'm not aware is there a is there a is there a fight is there a mountain near kennesaw or is it just a hill uh it's it's classified is a mountain, Kennesaw Mountain. I think that's, I always thought that was reaching. I was always like, we wrote something on Channel 6 today, a newsletter you should subscribe to, talking about how height is a faith-based piece of information that if a man says he's 511,

okay, that's, you're 511. Let's see. If you say Kennesaw Mountain is a mountain, I just have to believe you. So, it looks like Stone Mountain is 800 feet tall. yes kennesaw mountain is uh uh the taller than that huh i don't know what i don't know what i don't know the words to our official fight song how tall is a hill versus a mountain there is no official to get a different do you get a different answer there if you google that in like utah it looks like uh the u.s used to define it's according to national geographic

us used to define hills as summits less than a thousand feet so according to that it's actually stone hill not stone mountain this whole thing smacks of gender um so you would not know and this emotionally this would not stir feelings within your breast to say that we are the owls and we bring the fight all through the southland all know our might right i remember this one now there's a line about the classroom so from the mountain we bring spirit heart and victory let's go owls our men and women bring honor and fame strong in the classroom strong in the game strong in the game from the mountain we bring spirit

Kennesaw it's on to victory it's it's very much a fight song written in the style of fight songs owls do bring fights yeah

owls definitely bring fights and and it's this is very in the raw raw school of fight songs right sure is there another school of fight song yes we're gonna

there's like eight fight songs ever yeah but we're gonna get to some of the weirder ones okay I'm going to start with, I'm going to start with one of the weird. Are you talking about the ones that say things like hippity-ho boys in the middle of it? Yes. Yeah, all the old ones with the skibbidi-bop's.

Yeah. Flippity boos, skittip-a-bop. Yeah. Kids today with their made-up words. Back in my day when song lyrics were like jibble-de-dibble-jubes. Yeah. Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, hi-de-ho. Hullabaloo, connect, connect.

Yes. So we'll start on easy. Okay. Answer. Answer, just chime in whenever you feel. that you've identified it. Answer what? I'm going to read one and you're going to tell me what it's from.

If you don't know, I will reveal it. And we will go, ah, that's weird. This is a high stakes game. I love this. I like this game. This is a cozy game. Ryan's not here, so I'll ask the question. And answer it.

Maybe not. Maybe not. Well, we've automated Ryan. For me. Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar. 3,000 pounds, a college bell to put it in, and a clapper to stir it round. Well, that would be Georgia Tech. Is it one of the victory bell schools?

It's, uh, it's, uh, Jason has, Jason has nailed it. It is, yes. The, one of the very drinkingest fight songs, if not the drinkingest. Yes. Yes. That entire song has two themes. One, I would like to consume liquor out of a bell or out of, several large containers like mentioned prominently in the song is binge drinking out of vast

vats of alcohol which yeah out of any container any container and then the other theme is um fuck the university of Georgia that's it yeah no it is very strong you talk about how there were only seven or eight types of fight songs it's very important to note's two no i mean there's only I mean, there's only seven or eight melodies. Yes, that's true. There's also only, I think, three or four types, but one of those types is fuck those guys. Yeah.

Fuck those guys is a very important type of fight song. Fuck these guys right here in particular. Yeah. It's very, some people are like, well, they're obsessed with us. Yes, we wrote a whole song about it. The funniest is when the rivalries are very outdated. I don't know if this one is on your list, but Bama mentioning their deep-seated desire to drown Georgia Tech.

and they don't play anymore they don't play anymore and yet and yet if I do recite go teach the bulldogs to behave send the yellow jackets to a watery grave and if a man starts to weaken

that's a shame from from yay Alabama which yeah so on the list like Alabama in true Bama fashion doesn't even identify a primary rival, even though they have one, they instead begin to just hit them, do a hit

them up on everybody, talking about how they would like to drown everyone, including, yes, Georgia Tech, who they no longer play. They'd like to drown bugs as if they are ships. That's some Bama metaphor right there. Yeah, those bugs, they're ships. And we're going to drown them because they're bugs. It's not like, blow them out of the sky. I mean, for anybody who has poured gasoline into a yellow jacket nest and gone, hey, y'all, watch this.

Okay. I can see, it's not an impractical suggestion is what I'm saying. I have another one. Well, we'll up the difficulty. Actually, we'll do one more layup. I'll give you another layup. To thy colors true, we shall ever be. Firm and strong, united are we?

Raw, raw, raw, for Ski, Yuma, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra. Minnesota. Until the very end, that was all of them. True. I thought it was Furman. Same. We have, I like that, I like that we have now entered my favorite genre, which is enthusiastic gibberish, a lot of exhorting, a lot of. Do you think they did a lot of arguing over which syllables?

like were there were there fist fights in in old miss bar rooms over like where flim flam had to go in the song yeah flim flam god damn no can't do that it's got to be bad damn say by damn it's technically not a cuss that's correct you're just being enthusiastic yes so all these things are written in what 1910 they're either written in 1910 they're either written in 19 10 or as you said they're written by someone trying to write like it's 1910 yeah right they're either mayonnaise or veganase they're either a memory of something are there are there later written fight songs that are written in that style yeah like who wrote f i use fight song that's a great question uh kennesaw's canesaw states is relatively new is very new yeah like that's why it's

like classroom okay yeah yeah like it was written by It was written by Mr. James Soshenky, who, to show you how new it is, I believe he's still alive. Yes. Or just recently passed. He recently passed. He was a composer. He was hired for the who taught it Virginia Tech of all places. It was strong in the classroom.

One PDF I'm loading with FIU is apparently enormous. fight song has 1979 somewhere in there but I can't find that part I don't believe it but I'm... Oh, I think I saw that I think it's just all the orchestrated parts but I think all the lyrics to it

are just go FIU, go FIU Panthers fight, Panthers fight Panthers fight I've discovered that the Charlotte 49ers fight song was actually composed in 2001 and it is in the old style hail Charlotte 49ers

proud as we can be we stand to fight for the green and white till we win the victory. Go Niners. We pledge our trust in you and wave your colors high. The loyal Niner Nation cheers forever. We'll fight, fight, fight, fight.

It replaced... We're going to get the AI song generator into this. It replaced a fight song that belonged to the University of Texas at Austin entitled Texas Fight, which had been used as the 49ers fight song since the late 1960s. Georgia State's fights song.

I don't understand why they would take Texas. Georgia State's fights. It's only like 14 years old. It's the one where they they call themselves GSU, which set off a whole thing between the GSUs. By the way, if your fight songs written in 2001, you have to start it with unnecessary DJ scratches. That's what you need. Worker, work, a, work, a, work. New metal guitar.

Yeah. Seven string bass. Yeah, seven string bass where you only play two chords. Your bass guitar plays at your cast. You Charlotte, 49ers. Oh, boy. I tried to do an AI Charlotte fight song via our favorite tool,

the website These Lyrics Do Not Exist.com. And I got the following. And as Charlotte finds her man, Charlotte will smile to see him smile. Charlotte can always see where I am. Charlotte knows we are so close. Scary. Charlotte walks in the feet of our childhood dance.

Charlotte walks in the feet of our childhood dance. Charlotte took me on. with a loving smile. Charlotte took beyond with a loving smile. We would get away. Get away all night. Charlotte Wright with me. That sounds like Incubis lyrics, so this works.

Charlotte right with... Why do they do that? Workers' comp tried to sing a fake Charlotte theme song, fight song. And now I cannot work. I'm getting injured singing. It really is like Ryan is here. I'm going to do one I'm going to increase the difficulty slightly slightly okay I'm going to do these first three lines if you don't get it off the three lines you

I'll read the fourth because it's it's got some good old-fashioned who for all as well as a geographical clue the first three lines here from this song will sing her praises far and wide until the end of time damn hoop array hoop array for Dear old U and I I'm guessing this is you and I No

Damn Is it you and I I'm going to read the fourth line And you should probably get it We'll give a grand old Allegheny Gannack Gannack Ginnack

Ginnack Ginnack I mean this makes me think it's Allegheny But I'm guessing it's Penn State Close Close My Penn State Fans will love

That we confuse This song fight song that is from Penn State fans Hail to Pit Hail to Pit Oh Whoops

Sorry I said I don't know my own fight song Hail to Pit has Some really good Old School foo for raw Is it worse to guess Penn State Or that before I guess Penn State

I guess it belonged to the Allegheny Alligators I think the Penn State one's always worse Because they don't ever Yeah Penn State Gators Yeah That is that is hail to pit

Pitt Pitt's fight song which I encourage you to check out for the sheer amount of authentic frontier gibberish it contains throughout its verses Can I share what might be the newest fight song in FBS? Yes.

The Coastal Carolinas which is a 10 year old fight song. My favorite part is we'll shout our colors go teal and then we'll yell out and bronze when mustn't forget bronze.

I don't know why they didn't just stick with Crazy Town butterfly. Every team will learn coastal in number one. We're the shanticleers, defending the shore. Best of Carolina, since 54. Sock them, bust them, that's our custom. That's not bad. No, that's good.

That's not bad at all. No, that's heat. I like that. They didn't make that up. That's a cheer. Still, I didn't do what they... All this shit is derivative all over. It's a good choice of sample. All right. What university? Like, that's a bar, and I appreciate it.

but they could have just made boom by POD their fight song. That's for San Diego State, come on. I stand by that. Great, that would also be fine. Because Shanaclear and Butterfly scan the same way. Yeah. Boom! Here come the boys from the South.

I would honestly be surprised if San Diego State doesn't and take the field to POD. There's going to be a rocky top situation where they're like, this represents our culture. Wait, Blake 182 is from San Diego. San Diego. But them worth the fight song. All the small things be a fantastic one because football is about the small things.

Class. All right. He hoaxing all the small things. I'm going to up the difficulty somewhat here because I thought this line was, I guarantee you none of the students know that this is in the lyrics and none of them know the words to the song, period. which is keep right on going up that scoring oh yeah god doesn't even rhyme guarantee they don't know it this is a pop country song keep right on going up that scoring that is the university that is the university of miami's fight song that's horrible that makes sense that's horrible

you can do better miami call people call me he he wants you to call him pit bull will do it that's one thing we know about pit bull he'll do it yeah we know that call trick daddy yeah somebody was like hey it'd be funny if you started a nascar team and he was like d'allet and then did it so please call pit bull remake your fight song or at the very least different words have him sing about butts in spanish it would be far more entertaining than what you have up that scoring

to be fair that is a that is a direction they have needed for a couple decades now the lyrics by the way include the apostrophe so like you have to say it going scoring oh yeah

this is another trick one kind of which should probably be able to figure it out but talk about the Sooners Cowboys and the bears, Aggies and the tiger and his tail. Talk about the wildcats and the cyclone boys,

but I'm the bird to make them weep and wail. Kansas. Florida State. It is Serber is. Tulsa. That is Kansas. I'm a Jayhawk. Which is not sung. It is not sung. Typically, there's

like some hand waving and chanted. Kansas rap tradition. Yes. I am a Jayhawk. Drop heat. drop a train on him in a sea what if it's just like what if it's just in tone like the lord's prayer i'm the boy talk about the jahawks it's it's not sung which is a shame because i'm the bird to make him weep and wail is like a little bloodthirsty that thing that thing that little blue thing that isn't real is it the non-reality of it that makes one weep i think maybe it's the

comedy of imagining it with a gun, imagining it holding a pistol at you, saying, I'm the bird to make you. Guns bigger than the bird is. And we just dropped it. Server, is any of this covered and we're not all like this episode that just dropped? None of this fight song thing, but one thing that was a dead giveaway was that Kansas State got mentioned so far deep into it, like as an afterthought, because I did learn that that is really not Kansas's rival this past week, which I thought that that was a bigger rivalry game. but apparently it's yeah it's Missouri I was like oh that's right

I completely forgot because it's been so long but yeah they fucking hate each other yeah there's a little there's a little more than sports there yeah yeah look it up we don't have to talk about that here great figures in the Kansas

Mizzou football rivalry you have to start in definitely starting starting quarterback John Brown yeah it is not easy to bring up the lyrics of this song. I'm getting lots of spam and malware. So looking at the number of teams that are no longer in Kansas' conference, all right? Sooners, Buffs, Tiger, corn huskin. There's a lot of actual,

very specific mention of how, like, they're going to shuck your corn for you. What an insult. It's like the ultimate, uh, the ultimate agricultural conference thing, right? Imagine. We'll shuck your corn for you, you a chuckless bastard. Fellas isn't gay to shuck another fellow's corn with a cis boom Kansas really wants to know I'm the bird to make you weep and well

and also give you a big old kiss Actually this thing's kind of sexy It's got a beak that's big enough To twist the tiger's tail This is you're right This is a horniest fight song We've encountered thus far No hold that thought

Hold that thought All right It's time to play the lover man music Does the Jayhawk ever turn around I feel like The Jayhawk would have a The Jayhawk would have a real dumb Does the Jayhawk ever look back at it?

I think that Jayhawk would just turn around and be like Bam whammy. Yeah, yes. Yeah, just an absolute donk. Mm-hmm. I hope so. I'd be weeping and whaling looking at that thing. All right.

I have, I would like to, there's a clue in this one, but it's still broad enough that I think it might present some challenge. also the lyrics when I read them and then I tell you who they are you'll understand that they double as instructions hit that line and tote that ball cross the goal before you fall and then we'll yell

yell yell yell for dear old state will yell like H-E-L-L I'll cross the line before you fall yes which state are we talking about here I didn't know there was another school that was so into spelling in their in their fight so it's just a clemson thing so we're spelling we're spelling out a cuss word because we're scared to say it right so so it's clemson yeah i was like man

i don't remember these lyrics but it must be us well for dear old state so it is a state clemson state clemson state it is hail state for mississippi state and i wanted to say that mississippi state was self-aware enough to include the directions for the bare minimum of good football within their fight song. Like if you want to know what pain Mississippi State has generated over the years and what tragic comedy for the objective viewer

the Bulldogs have given us all, it's that their fight song says, fight song says, cross the goal before you fall. They made a generational wiki hal. Hit the line and carry the ball. Tote it. Don't drop it. I love that it is assumed you will fall.

Yeah. Don't fumble. You're going to fall. For dear old state, we'll yell like H-E-L-L. We will. When you finally do that and stop falling. This is one of my favorite fight songs just for the innate humility of the lyrics, right? Like, punt!

Much like Miami's, this often would be a useful, useful directive for the football program. Now, is the spelling out thing? is that like omis cusses in theirs and we're so much classier than they are? Is that what that's about? Possibly. We're humble, humble, um,

farmland folk. Probably humble, perhaps it's to, perhaps this to distinguish it phonetically from Hale State. Yeah. Hell State. Hell State.

Hell State University. Welcome to Hell State. We're 500 in conference. The name's misleading. We're not that bad ass, actually. Yeah, we're actually, we're not spectacularly bad nor outstanding. We're really not all that exact. Not a lot of...

Not a lot of... I'm going... I'm going to go back down the difficulty ladder a little bit here for these three lines, which are... Chigaruga rem. What? Chigaruga rem. You can't say that.

Rough, tough, real stuff. You finish the line. I'm going to guess Northwestern. because they got some real weird shit in some of their other songs too that you gotta be real careful about pronouncing yes

Jason is I mean is it Aggie shit that should be that should be the name a touch all Ben

that's Aggie shit that should be the name of Texas A&M's fight song Aggie shit right it'd be hard as fuck if they just called it that egg. No, but instead it's we love our railroad slaves.

Instead, it has the grandiose name of the war him. Yes. Which the conclusion for that is rough, tough, real stuff, Texas A&M. And then it goes to... I don't hear anything

about a dog or church. Then it goes into the second verse, which is firmly in the fuck those guys. Cannon, maybe the peak of the fuck those guys. Cannon, talking about how much they hate Texas. There's no dog. There's no mention of a dog anywhere in this.

Too sacred. You can't use her name. Yes. Yes, it's like. I need a vacation Bible school for Aggie Dog Church. It's like the name of the Lord in Hebrew. You don't really speak it. You speak in approximation of it.

That's what the, you have it. In A&M, you pronounce it, Yeha. Jigarugurum. Yes. The true name, the unspoken name. Tetraiggamotron. A side note from Twitter, Angel Rees' stands have decided they're calling themselves the Rees' pieces. Love it.

I'm for it. I'm for it. I'm going to disclose this university's lyric ahead of time just so I can share it because I don't know how many South Carolina fans actually know this is in their fight song, probably more than I know. but less than should. How often do they get to hear their fight song? Well, it is sometimes referred to as Step to the Rear, which comes from a musical. The actual name of the song is

The Fighting Gamecocks Lead the Way, Step to the Rear being too accurate a depiction of South Carolina's performance, historically speaking. I love y'all. I love y'all so much. The lyrics are, hey, let's give a cheer. Carolina is here. When is the fucking history?

Has that ever happened? Okay. As opposed to a warning. bell a claxon somebody going oh shit south carolina's here it's like a um facts about this this is not even from the 1910 step to the rear is was written in like the 60s yes yes that's a that's a mid-century songbook musical it's from a weird what's a weird it's from how now dow Jones which i do not have time to get into right now that's a lot yeah yeah that is not this is not the end of the lyrics though in terms of things i want to share uh i will continue the fighting game

talks lead the way. Who gives a care? There's a line after this, but, yeah. If the going gets tough and when it is rough, that's when the cocks get going. Hmm. Get it? It's funny no matter how you read it, because either way, it's like, well, boys, chips are down. We got to, we got to really, we got to grind through this.

Go get chickens. We are South Carolina. As per usual, the chips are down. Boys, sits looking dire. Get your dicks out. Yeah, that's it. What do we need, Dix? With a tics.

That's when the cocks get going. Fellas, today the shit's ribbed for her pleasure. I'm just picturing them getting cranked like the starter on a Model T. Ford. We got to dry jack our way out of this 28-point hole. Oh, right. No wonder Shane Beamer's been dodging boosters. When they're going gets tough, I'm out of here. I don't want to see this part.

Tough is an adjective you want there, yeah. So I am going to get to the part, the song, that was my favorite discovery when reviewing song lyrics of college fight songs. Okay. I have to. Is this up Carolina still? No. This is a new one, and it is one that is utterly delightful because it is the most Gilbert

and Sullivan shit in all of the college fight song playbook. That is a high bar. I am a blank fan, sir, and I live across the green. Our gang, it is the jolliest that you have ever seen. Our students are the finest, and each wants a shining star. Arielle, you'll hear it ringing through the mountains near and far. That's terrible. Is that the first part of Virginia's?

No. So it's got mountains. Okay. I will keep on singing. Do voices. Do voices, though. Next verse. Bomb.

And when we promp the avenue, I'll line up in a row. An arm and arm and step in time is down the street we go. No matter if a freshman green are in a senior's gown, the people all admit we are the warmest gang in town. This fucking sucks. Yuck. This is incredible. Are they cutting you open to crawl inside you?

Why do you need to be warm? I'll do the third verse in it. We'll give you the answer, but I'm going to steer so hard into it. We may not live forever on this jolly good sphere, but while we do, will live a life of merriment and cheer and when our college days are over and night is drawing nigh with parting breath

we'll sing that song a Utah man am I Oh Yeah Yeah Dick punch Ditch punch dick punch dick punch dick

It sounds like a South Park song There's an There's an interlude in there That there's a The chorus is incredible There's a there's a break in the middle There's an instrumental

interlude in the middle where you just go punch the dicks of everybody in the pile. Who I am, sir? A Utah fan, am I? A Utah fan, sir, will be until I die. Cahey! We're up to stuff. We never bluff. We're game for any fuss. No rival band or college fans dare meet us in the must. So fill your lungs and

sing it out and shout it to the sky. We'll fight for dear old crimson for a Utah fan, am I? I'm laughing, but this is not inaccurate. It's fucking great. This is the... Seriously? this is the most like like like honestly ancient musical theater review shit i've ever read heard seen in my life Utah this is awesome you totally need somebody to just like get a

handlebar mustache and sing this through a megaphone it's amazing this is uh it's it's kind of the urtext of fight songs like this they just condensed these they were like That's too many words. Can you just get to the raw, raw part? Let's just do all of every fight some ones. If they all had handled bar mustaches. Yes. I wouldn't want any part of that.

They should hand those out instead of shakers. They'll steal my malted milk. And bruise my jalopy. Wait, is that in the, oh, I thought you were still going. No, no, that's not it. It could be. Verse five. So yes, Utah man.

now my favorite fight song on further utahman yes um i have another one he said menacingly never will sever will pledge our loyalty forever and ever backing our football team faltering never so this is a pre-up it is a pre-up or you have a really dull bone saw. When you find out the team, both of those will make sense. Jason, do you have a guess? No.

We were talking about songs that nobody knew the lyrics do. These are, in fact, some of the lyrics, too, Tennessee's fight song, Down the Field. God damn it. No, it's not. Is it really? Yep. Yes.

These are lyrics from Down the Field. The song... I thought Down the Field was like two lines long. Okay. The song, nobody knows the words, too. That's embarrassing. Also, nobody knows the words to the alma mater, which they play in the third quarter of every game where they used to.

Back when I used to go to games, except there's one line that has the title of the song, but it's like the second to last line in the song. And so the whole time, it's like, So here's to you all Tennessee. it's adorable everyone knows glorious in florida's they're like glorious that's it that's all um this one is the hardest shit the utah one is my favorite but the hardest shit in all the fight songs it's using the name of the team so i had to kind of snip around it, but I think I chose

the hardest lines in all of college football fights songs. It's this is Katie Perry's fight song. I'm going to kick you in the dick. You're not going to do that because this doesn't, this honestly sounds like some sort of like Turkish national anthem shit. This better go fucking hard. Our teams

are there with bells. They're fighting blood excels. It's harder to push them over the line than pass the Dardanelles. Holy shit. okay our team has excellent blood is an amazing starting block to leap off of yes it is and it's still i don't think the hardest shit in this song wait you said turkish national anthem and this literally invokes the dardanelles yeah okay this literally invokes the dardanelles thinking about

american school it is in american school thinking about maybe sailing is probably a good clue is it the naval Academy? Different coast. This is this is bow down to Washington the U-dub fight song. If you do not know the words,

the modern version of these words are bow down to Washington, bow down to Washington. Mighty are the ones who wear the purple and gold. Joyfully, we welcome them within the victor's fold we're going to get some sculpture here we will carve their names in the hall of fame to preserve the memory of our devotion that sounds like a translated ancient like anthem right

but it gets harder so heaven help the foes of washington they're trembling at the feet of mighty washington our teams are there with bells they're fighting blood excels it's harder to push them over the line than pass the dardanelles so victory's the cry of of Washington are leather lungs together with a raw, raw, raw, and o'er the land, the loyal band will sing the glory of Washington forever. Y'all got to get those lungs looked at. Cody, you can cover that shit. It's a lot.

We smoke so much. We smoke way too tough. They smoke too tough. That would be a good starting point for a fight song now if you were. If you were starting a school, like the your smoke too tough genre. Like if you started a fight song now, it would have to start with like actual murder threats, right? Our swag are too different.

Murder gang. Georgia Southern. There are a lot of fight songs about murder. Mm-hmm. None of them are as, none of them sound like translated murder threats from a very intimidating sounding foreign language more than the University of Washington's. Could I read a few?

you by chance? How many? I don't want to... I have three more. So yes. All right. I'll go after that. Okay.

This is another one where I read the lyrics and realized that there was a kind of destiny in brand projection here. Hit that line. Hit that line. Keep on going. Move that ball right down the field. Give a cheer. Ra, rah, rah. Never fear.

Ra, rah. So so far, the school. that have the fight songs that are just football instructions are ones that have needed those instructions. Correct. So. Illinois.

You know what? Not too far off. Arkansas. Arkansas. Yeah. Somebody's over at a casino in Vicksburg too. It does. It's a line. These lyrics do sort of sound like a man with a parley on the line.

Keep on going. Keep on going. hit the line daddy's in tunica again yeah that's Arkansas fight the Arkansas University of Arkansas football fight song so some of the shitney's updates but not the Dardanelles part no keep the Dardanelles keep the leather lungs bow down can see yeah if you have leather lung consult a physician you you don't vape too much Jason, you would like to read some. Oh, I thought you had two more.

You can go ahead. I need to find mine. Okay. There's a long list, and I need to get to go, Spencer. So this is not a currently used fight song, but there will be nothing left of you, left of you. For we must make just a few more touchdowns yet. Dig Lehi's grave both wide and deep, wide and deep. Put tombstones at her head and feet, head and feet.

And from each sweater take away the L, which Lafayette alone guards we. This is a Lafayette's very old fight song about dismembering Lehigh, I think. Murdering and defacing the corpse of Lehi? What is the double, what's the double gravestone significance there? To make sure you're like really hell of dead. We killed you twice. The instructions.

We fucked you up so bad. You need two headstones. I love that. It's like, here lies Sam at the full. it here too some of him over here as well oh that's because they got they got dismembered so they need separate gravestones for the pieces yeah i whooped your ass here also whipped your ass over here goodness uh here's the lyric see if you know it sing along if you do and the squeal of the pig will float on the air from the tummy of the grizzly bear huh who knows that classic

University of Montana. I was, is that... Wow. That is the one that Montana and Georgia Tech fight over. No matter which lyrics you apply to the melody, you go fucking hard. That's beautiful.

Yeah. Another lyric. We fight fast and furious. Our team is injurious. No. That's some UCLA shit. That is, that is the most, like,

like 1984 rap line, right? Fight is so furious. Our team is injurious. I feel like I'm listening to Immortal Technique right now. This is St. Olaf College singing about injuring you. St. Olaf's talking cash shit for St. Olaf's. UC Davis. All right.

I'll just tell you it's UC Davis up front. Sack states men will be soon be routed by our dazzling sea. We'll stomp them in the mud. their green will turn to blood in our hour of victory. Blood drip, drip, drip, blood drip, blood drip, blood, blood drip, blood, blood. You see Davis, you have never done anything in your life that deserve going that fucking hard. You settle down, you see Davis. UC Davis is the nerd pushed too far.

You see Davis. You apologize right now. We see Davis, be nice to your cousins at Cal State Long Beach. do you know vandy's fight song i could not recite a word of vandy's fight dynamite dynamite when vandy starts to fight that is not true vandy no well how would we know down the field with blood to yield if need be saved the shield that's true that goes that goes have lots of blood to yield oh although that's basically van die i don't admit like down the field to give up lots of blood oh we might blow we might blow ourselves up and then bleed a lot okay okay yeah yeah yeah

Yeah. And finally, and you ought to hear the meter to the roar of his repeater, how they run, yes, run when they hear him come. Hmm, we got to go feed the meter. Is that Oklahoma State? That's pretty close. Very close, actually. That is Wyoming, and there are alternate versions of the lyric that really emphasize that we are talking about a gun. Just in case you didn't get it. Verse four, this is a gun, a real gun.

We're singing about a gun. to clarify what we said in verse one we are singing about a gun a gun pow pow pow pow pow pow shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot

shoot shoot shoot gun goes bang that's what we sang welcome to the Red River rivalry presented by AT&T we like to spit and shoot our shoes they are the boots da da da da da da da da

yeah guns guns guns we get up yeah yeah I do I do believe we should update a good 70% of fights on like we could just exchange them

Miami you can just toss yours you don't need it no one loves that no one loves that you can't you can't convince me anyone loves most of these this is just it's like saying the pleasure of allegiance or whatever it's just you're just making noises you don't care get rid of it yeah just get rid of it

yeah Washington you get to keep yours in fact if you want to add a if you want to add a third even more furious verse that's fine I kind of want A&M to add another

I want to add another one that's just nothing but conspiracy theories about Texas right and gibberish The lizard people

in Austin they steal your blood your blood zibble de do de boo de do yeah they kiss

pictures of Obama when they go to bed spooch spooch squoge wiggledy do do college sports are fucking stupid

yeah listen to this shit yeah college I have I have one to you go to on purpose I have one to close

one to close which is the wildest the abs if you want to like wildest lyrics in a song which is commonly used as a fight song across multiple institutions

long ago way down in the jungle someone got an inspiration for a tune and that jingle brought from the jungle became famous mighty soon thrills and chills it sends through you hot so hot

it burns you too I think that's just from Greece isn't it beauty school dropout engaged to a marine any other guesses there's no estate is that not Clemson

I will continue though it's just the growl of the tiger it was written in a syncopated way more and more they howl for the tiger everywhere you go today they shouting where's that tiger where's that tiger hold that tiger

hold that tag yes it is I still don't know what it is yeah keep going sing it brother trumpet solo are we going to add the

motherfucking in there let's do it where does it go between the O and the end yeah they counted they counted out LSU does also count it though yeah

although I got to confess very unpopular opinion given people on this podcast or one person at least LSU's version is better they play it better they're just a better band you can't do anything about that it's fair yeah they're just yeah they're just yeah they're just better at playing musical instruments it's a louisiana thing but yeah

let's hold that tiger that's some that is some extremely like gin and uh og first generation prescription pills lyrics it's hot it's so hot it burns you like i mean my veins the actual like early jazz recordings fucking slap of that song they're so good yeah like there are there are certain decades whose music comes out and you go like you listen to the original version you go nobody was having fun that decade

nobody then you listen to shit from the 20s and you go that was really fun this is absolutely terrible and fucked up but these people are having a really good time before we before we part

once presumed dead Ryan Nanny has left us with a message and a bit of a warning, I think, perhaps. So I'll play that now for all of us. Hi, friends. I'm sorry I couldn't be on the show today. I'm looking forward to seeing you all and all our guests who are coming at the live show in Indianapolis this weekend.

But I did not want to let this week get away from us without raising your attention to. what I think is a very confusing thing. And that's a Netflix movie where Jennifer Lopez is a pilot of some sort of armored mex suit. This movie is called Atlas, and Jennifer Lopez plays the titular character, Atlas Shepard. I'm just going to read you from Netflix, the plot summary. Atlas Shepard, parenthetical Lopez,

a brilliant but misanthropic data analyst with a deep distrust of artificial intelligence joins a mission to capture a renegade robot with whom she shares a mysterious past. But when plans go awry, her only hope of saving the future of humanity from AI is to trust it. Quote, the heart of Atlas is really about trust and how difficult it is to trust people, the director told Netflix. Atlas is told through the lens of a woman who's learning, to trust after undergoing a trauma that's upended her life. For Lopez, the film's story is as simple as they come.

Quote, I loved that this is a big sci-fi action movie, but at its core, it's a story of friendship and a love story in a way, she said. Quote, I always see everything as a love story. Sure, but this is a different kind of love between two beings who connect in disastrous circumstances and teach each other how to be more human. Once again, and you can go find the trailer for this, you want it doesn't look particularly good but people are allowed to make bad movies that's fine this appears to be a mech warrior type movie in which the overall lesson is hey what if a i is your friend

i just thought everybody should know about that and jennifer lopez is the star because why wouldn't that happen okay see all in indianapolis uh i'm going to disagree with ryan um the part where Jennifer Lopez's mech just chokeslammed a guy this is cinema I think it looks pretty fucking sick I like her curl definition there you don't usually see her with short hair in these things Sterling K. Brown

I need to speak to your financial Was that Sterling Brown? I need to speak to your financial advisor immediately because you made a mistake somewhere along the line buddy You haven't seen this You don't know what good movies are That's why you should trust me

Because I kind of want to see this You made me watch that Kelsey Grammer Hitman move me You don't get to yell about anything Oh no, no, no, you made me watch that That is not what happened What, money plane? You know, I made you watch Moneyplane You're splitting the blame

Oh no, not Moneyplane Moneyplane is an achievement Moneyplane was entertaining So there's a money plane but bad Uh-huh The Dolph Lundgren movie Dolf Lundgren directed a movie

about a cop who gets stranded in Mexico It's not very good Unfortunately The idea of it is a lot funnier when you go Oh Kelsey Graham is Do you know what's weird about it

There are moments when it's almost I'm positive Gonna make people angry Because it's too woke Which is not how you thought This movie was going to go Yeah It's a bad film

Unlike Atlas It was your fault Yes unlike Atlas Shepard, which is an amazing film, obviously, because... Atlas Shepard, a name. Yes. Atlas, starring Jennifer Lopez. Uh, by the way, Jennifer Lopez.

Atlas! What? According to People magazine, Ben Affleck is seeking to leave that relationship and explained it with temporary insanity. Temporary insanity. What? Wait, temporary insanity in which direction? The leaving.

Getting married. Yes, getting married to Jennifer Lopez. Probably because this movie's too fucking awesome. He's humiliated by her having good movies. Yeah. Go buy a zoo, Ben. That's wrong one. The other one.

That's fine. He needs a zoo too. I got a fucking zoo. How about you, Ben? This would be a very different movie. Oh, no, it's not hitting me either. But this would be a very different movie if Jeremy Renner bought a zoo. the director of this Jennifer Lopez mech movie also directed Rampage and San Andreas

I think we're in for some filmmaking here