Shutdown Fullcast - Another Flat Cat

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Hand In The Dirt is perfect and you are the problemUCF celebrates its humanities graduates by demonstrating it cannot read a roomWe figured out why Brian Kelly's into AIInverting the Diego Pavia legend for the good of everybody involvedWhat do Jay Paterno and mold remediation influencers have in common?We (us and also you) have a new favorite cyclistPeople in college sports want enforcement that will pull their hair just a lil bit (Nebraska story)The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 29 (twenty-nine!!) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)Now through June 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch sold through the Shutdown Fullstore will be donated to the Transgender Resource Center of New MexicoShutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock DID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz

Jason blacked the fuck out. It was. It was like his eyes rolled back in his head. It was so good. Yeah. It was incredible. It has taken the podium spot from the, what if the SEC went to war with itself as like my favorite Jason Ghost Turbo Jason moment.

It was very Clay Thompson. It was very like, I'm going to score 37 points this quarter. You cannot miss. He simply cannot miss. This is that we will contain. those guys contain masculinity is honestly that is kind of how it works right yeah made it over an unpopulated area boys go play in the backyard right if you can get them if you can get them arguing over if you can get them arguing over tiny minute differences in each other's

daily routine for several hours at a stretch perfect audio just argue in the street not in the house so do you put peanut butter on both sides of the sandwich and jelly in the middle no I aboard you I oppose everything in your lifestyle I condemn you as a man I denounce you it is the it's like hand in the dirt is brilliant because it's the balkanization of tiny little

things in your daily life right it's what if it's it's work a day first take Like, I don't, I've thought about this before. I feel like there's something more to, like, I can't stand the drive-time sports thing, embrace, debate, LeBron's a clown fraud, horseshit when they do it. But when Cerber and Hartzell and Felder do it, it's captivating. And I don't know if that's because Stephen A. isn't talking about Fescue, or if because, like, Skit Baylis is such a generally toxic person or some combination of both. but like it's different. I like the, there are, like, there are many podcasts that are like recap podcasts of other media.

I like ours is the Hand in the Dirt Recap podcast. So we do, we're, we're going to get people into this podcast on a level. Talking Shed. Oh, the reason, the reason I brought this up in the first place, I lost my train there, was because Hand in the Dirt got a terrible Apple podcast review from somebody who came from our show. and he was like, oh, there's too much dead air in this show, and they talk about nothing. I'm like, are you sure you were listening to the full cast?

We talk about nothing, but we don't have dead air because we're all talking at the same time. Right. He was a Georgia fan, so maybe he was just wanting us hand in the dirt to bark at each other during all the conversational pauses. I'll start doing that. But anyway, if you're listening to whoever that was,

fuck you. We don't need you. Why are you leaving a nasty, why are you leaving Michael Felder nasty? Don't go dragging our name around other people's reviews, man. Like, it's that post about like, if you're in, if I retweet something and you're in the replies, don't embarrass me. I don't understand the purpose of podcast reviews at all. Like, I understand the purpose of a review for, like, a lawnmower or a restaurant. But a podcast is so, like, specific.

And it's not like a pitchfork review where it's like, well, here's what. what this is like. When who is like cruising these reviews to find a podcast to listen to? I don't think I'm yeah. I think the thing is when I read shut down full cast reviews posted on Apple podcasts or any app really. What I think is these are highly intelligent people who have done something extremely worthwhile who have expressed themselves to the universe and I I would assume that daily their thoughts are being consumed by many others in considered value and they're making the world a better place.

and I hope they keep doing it very often. I'd much rather be able to post a review of, like, Spencer's Blue Sky account or something. Like that would love that. Do that on Shutdown Fullcast at Apple Pocon. Folks, if you want to take that shit over as your blog, do it. Number of reviews is just as important as quality of reviews.

Sure. So express yourselves. Yeah. Like, there was a while where, this is a few years ago, the show is fucking 13 years old. that could mean anything, where people were just like posting their favorite, like, Hardy's recommendations. Oh, they're still doing that.

It was grocery list for a while. It was dessert recipes. We need a new one, though. Everybody, no, don't talk about what you think. Oh, oh. How about in our podcast reviews on your app of choice, why don't you post the thing that you think everyone else should be posting about in our podcast reviews? Okay. Yeah, yeah.

go. Let's get meta, meta. Start a discourse. Yeah. Each one teach one. There we go. Go to your Twitter drafts. Open it up. Dump them. Dump them before Elon does. Also, if you don't like this podcast, this is your first one. Please go leave. Go under go, go leave a negative review. Okay. Go go leave an honest review because I think that will speak for itself. Generally when people are stumble into our podcast, They're like, oh, these guys didn't talk about college football at all. And I see the Cisco football right here. And you're like, that's self-selection, buddy. That's self-selection. I mean, good luck finding a different podcast.

I also, look, I'm aware enough. If you go to have a podcast and you're like, college football, I know our shit is not coming up first. You had to scroll for a while before you got this one. There was a while. It's surprisingly high. At times it comes up before you'd think. At times it comes up way before you think.

It definitely comes up before it should. Let me put it in this way. There is no point where the Apple Corporation has said, hmm, what should we feature for our college football podcast? Let's give feet. Like, there's no bait and switch happening here. Don't lie to me like that. We do have a football in our logo, which is pretty deceptive.

Do we at this point? I don't even know. Honestly, that was a guess. Doesn't the snake have one? There should be a warning, like right at the top of the podcast, which is this, which is, are you dumb? I think, yeah, the cold, the cold, the cold open serves is that morning. It's not going to be the show for you.

Are you a fool? Yeah. Come on in. There you go. It's a great fool, stupid, like fork. So now that everyone who has made it past that, that, that benchmark, that, you know, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you should go have fun in our reviews all over every app. Because you are one of the good ones. That's right.

You are. Go find our podcast. It is the Daily by the New York Times. Find us on Crunchbase. Leave us review on Crunchbase. Metafilter. Find one of the only open blockbusters if they even exist and just yell at them. I want you to go to Internet Archiveopenedig.com.

Did you see this? They relaunch dig a couple months ago? No. After like... It's like the fourth relaunch for Dig. It was a thing. in like 2004 and then Reddit killed it and it came back in like 2015 and then it died like a few years ago and they brought it back in immediately they're like shut it down there's too much AI which is you know pretty sad thing about the internet but anyway dick dig is dead again chat here's what I want you to do go to rotten tomatoes find Tron Aries leave a review for the shutdown full cast on Tron Aries five stars and then in reverse leave a review of Tron Aries on the shutdown forecast.

You might be thinking, oh, do I have to watch Charmed news? No. No, you don't want to do that. Not at all. Don't do that. Make our shit your letterboxed. Just do that.

There we go. To the shutdown full cast. That was good. That was compact, but powerful. Like, that was a solid, like, double to the gap. Thank you. You know what?

That would be, if I could be a kind of a hitter, right? I would totally want to be long doubles. Long doubles. Love that. Yeah. Right. RBI machine, not in it for the glory.

Also, a double, I don't have to run that fast if it's a long double, right? That's true. I'm not, speed's not an asset here. Like, you got to get on your horse. Don't get me wrong. But nobody. What if you go for a ground rule doubles and then you can just sort of mosey? Just hit it, just hit it into the Missouri fog.

Trick shot Jack. I'm Mosey Hall. I hit the ball so hard that it skips off the turf over the wall so that it, It's not a home run, but yeah. Doink, he's done it again. My God. Like some fucked up billiards player with a baseball bat. You know, take just a little bit off it.

Then you don't have to walk at all. If you were so good at baseball that you could walk into a stadium and be like, oh, there's the one weird thing it's got, I'm totally hitting a ground roll double off that. Yeah. So I have been watching our friend John Boys' series about charging the mound. And it has got me thinking in the back of my mind, do you ever think there's been a hitter? who's like, I'm going to get extremely good at hitting the baseball directly back at the pit. Like, that's the thing I want to get good at.

100%. He gets to throw up me. He gets to throw inside and knock my ass off the plate. I want to get very good at batting this ball directly back at that motherfucker. If not at MLB, I can almost guarantee you to tier you there's an SEC college player who's trying this right now. And he's a dick. I can narrow it down to like four or five schools where he's at with reasonable certainty. I bet if we gave Bryce Harper a year, he could get really good at this.

I think they're all, I think they're already all good at it. It's not a useful play. No. Which is why it doesn't happen that often, right? Like, a lot of these pictures are really fucking good and they will, they'll glove that shit and throw it right on the first. Like, you're, you're playing the gaps and, like, however the offense is set up. It's not what you want to do. You're right.

I think they, I think they can do it no fucking problem, which is why sometimes we do see it happen. That would be that, like, listen. baseball, add this to All-Star weekend. It doesn't even have to be a real person. Just put like a fake pitcher out there and just put the pitching machine out and see how many times you can just smack this guy right now. The frozen corpse of Ted Williams. What's the baseball video? What's the baseball video game where you can absolutely fucking destroy the pitcher? It's like the NFL blitz of baseball basically. Yeah. I forget what it is. I can't remember. But oh my like if you could do that in real life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like when you're at the driving range and you try to hit the the

the cart retriever guy. It's like that, the baseball. Which is universal. I think I've been in the past five. What was the last time you went to a driving range, Ryan? Probably like three years ago at this point. Okay. I think I think I'm like between that and Top Golf, right? Top Golf does have somebody who comes out there every now and then because they don't all fall into the drains. But I love the universal reaction of whenever the guy gets out there, you see guys going like, oh yeah, grip and rip it. Yeah, it doesn't matter if your first step.

thousandth day serious golfer fuck around team that means being near the card is like the safest place to be if they're all aiming for your thing yeah fine yeah I was there once when they absolutely beamed the the side right like and made a fantastic pipe noise right like whom I looked over and I saw three guys who were like yeah yeah yeah it's the most socially acceptable form of vandalism at this point. It does confirm my thought that if you were watching chariot races in like the Roman circus and some dude absolutely ate shit in front of you, um, full credit to, to historian podcaster Patrick Wyman, who suggests that the hit from being wine drunk in the middle of the day

and watching someone eat shit in a chariot must have been fucking awesome. It had to be incredible, right? Like somebody just totally eat shit in front of you and you're like, Wooden axle splintering. Wooden axle splintering. That shit didn't have seatbelts. No. No. I think it's his tibia.

Yeah, exactly. You fucked up. You fucked up. Like, that to me says, watching the cart guy come out, there's a universal human instinct. When something like that happens, they're like, wreck, wreck. Yeah. And the other part of it is like, who the hell does he think he is? He's got a big machine.

I don't have a big machine. I will defeat him, right? He's got a cage. He thinks he's safe. Yeah, it's like time traveling, time traveling guys with swords see a tank. I think it's like when we put shark cages in the oceans and sharks are like, huh? Fuck that.

You're not better than me. I think you think you are. I'm down here an object. You're saying sharks are working class. Yeah, 100%. Sharks are whales. That's why they're called blue whales. Oh, it's a girl house.

So that's why they hated the one white whale. It's all about class, baby. Mm. Mm. That's true. I'm fascinated by this. Yeah, I have no doubt that the minute somebody wiped out in front of you at a chariot race, not only was it awesome, you were probably taunting him. You were probably pulling shit off of him, right?

Hey, that's a buckle. That's a piece of forged metal. I should take that. I can use that shit. You're saying there was some sort of like inside the NBA for the arena back then? Oh, absolutely. Shacked in a fool. Where they going, Chuck?

Carthage. With a big old ass like Hannibal's elephants. Look like me and Claudio Maximus had a baby. Yeah. Carlos Barclis was doing work in the commentary booth. I'm just picturing round mound of throwdown

with all the U's change to Vs. Yeah. Kenny the chariot Smith. Yeah. that's this is all coming together i speaking of coming together wow what yeah yeah yeah yeah a congregation a convocation a graduation ucccccc you ucf this this program has from time to time had less than charitable things to say about central florida's flagship university that was godfrey okay listen he's the deacon of this church okay

I believe Godfrey is the author of, what was it, Hilton Knight Managers. I'm not saying it out loud. He said he disparaged the fine night managers of our nation. Godfrey, may you never get a third pillow on request when you ask for it. Okay? Yeah. Because the night managers of this nation demand respect. Can't even get as many pillows as you have kids.

Yeah. That's right. Or many that may be. Your big fucking noggin. You won't have, you won't have, listen, you're going to have a bad night sleep in a Hampton. And it's going to be because you slandered UCF. And from time to time, we do enjoy joking a bit with UCF. It does kind of, they don't enjoy it.

They don't. They do. They know they're the trolls. They, like, they have known for years. They're like, it's like their bit is being the obnoxious ones. Yeah. And their university does look a lot. like a skate park. Complimentary. It does look like a killer place to do some ollie's and kickflips.

But we're going to go ahead and just formally apologize for any of that because a lady got up. Apologize to the students, to be clear, not to the university itself. Not to the university itself. They still try to this lady out. At the arts college graduation. Yeah. This lady comes out and she's like, The AI revolution will be as important. It's the next industrial revolution. And she already had kind of a wobbly voice.

This is a commencement speaker, like, at the humanities college, talking about, hooray, AI. Like, the people are going to be, like, the most challenged and encumbered by AI. And then she's very surprised by the booze. I also like when people invoke the Industrial Revolution as if to be like a great thing that had no bad side. No bad. That definitely didn't cover London and fucking smog. No bad outcomes.

Everything smelled so much better. No children lost to the gears. Money was never mangled their arm in a laundry machine. You know, just cast the first stone. Oh, you can't. You don't have hands. Only good things. The robot wars proved fruitful in the end.

That's kind of how she's or rating too. Every new thing is good. If it's new, it's better. The power of the atom, which we have no regrets of whatsoever. The machine gun. This is the question of, and then what? Right? Like the industrial evolution.

You go, what happened to everyone about 40 years after that really got kicking? They had a great time. That's what? Huge, powerful, lusty clouds of small. Also, Orlando, sitting in Orlando talking about the Industrial Revolution is one of the most incredibly stark cases of she doesn't even go here that I have ever witnessed. Also, man, really like, what's AI going to do to the state of Florida? No longer were the many golf fields of Central Florida picked by hand, thanks to. Orlando, where the entire industries, people come here, get drunk, and leave.

Industry. Like, what's Chad GPT doing for your average Floridian? It can't make things any weirder. I live there. Average Floridian's fucking stupid. I do like, I only saw a glimpse of it, but somewhere there's this scuttle butt that Claude keeps telling people like, hey, just go to bed. Just go to sleep.

That's why it's the best one. So like, they gave it the name of a, they gave it the name of an old ass man and all it was to do go to bed. So I will, I will, I will begrudically admit if chat, GBT and it's Elkartelling Floridius to just go home and go to sleep, that might be in a return to your homes. I beg you. Hey, it's 2.30. You need to stop asking me questions. This is probably the only way they can get AI to like stop recommending like self harm or whatever. Right. I don't, I don't know if a jet. I don't know if a T-Rex can be in a jet scheme.

man, that doesn't even make sense. Go to bed. Sh, go to sleep. Claw, it's tired. We're talking about beating what? It doesn't stop. Listen. How do you do pull-ups?

What do you fuck you're talking? Do pull-ups. And then go to sleep. Does Taco Bell love me? Probably not. Stop it. For the night time today. We'll find out tomorrow.

Hush. The sooner do you go to bed, and soon we'll find out if Taco Bell loves you. You cannot get disability by masturbating at work. That's not how it works. You've asked me nine times today. However, if you're injured, the only limiting is to go the fuck to sleep. Just go to sleep.

It's like, just Claude is your mom now. Go the fuck to sleep. People would react a lot better if it really was just like, hey, listen, I don't know. That's a tough question. Have you considered having a snack? Claude thinks you should have a snack. And then you're like, this is fucking dope. Claude brought to you by peanut butter crack.

You say that, and then everyone's just, like, gorging themselves. Claude told me to keep eating. Claude told me never stop eating. It's Claude, just an old man. He's just like, yeah, man, Donna Dixon and spies like us, what a woman. Anyway, like, oh, now I'm thought about her, now I'm tired. Yeah, now, oh. But yeah, this LCF lady, she thought this is going to go a different way, for sure.

Oh, yeah, badly. Like, so, like her, let's see, her background here. I saw something about being a wellness developer from the Bahamas. Vice President of Strategic Alliancees for Tavistock Development Company. Overseas, blah, blah, blah. I mean, once you have that many words, I don't know what they mean. That means you don't have a job. I don't know what you do, man.

I don't know why you're at the art school. It's like going to the robot graduation and being like, ah, humans, the unsolvable puzzle, greater than any computer. Robots all booing you, throwing robot trash at you. You got to consider to UCF. They're sitting there. They just want to get the fuck out of there. But they stopped, right?

It's hot. It's hot. Everybody wants to get out of there. Their gowns are black, which is an insane choice for UCF. Yeah, they're all crowded together. Put the McDonald or something, man. It's a huge school, so there's probably about 7 million people in this. Some percent of them are going.

are like this is the last day I'm spending in the state of Florida. This is the last day and I'm getting close to gone. I'm so close to gone. And this lady's telling me the robots are coming. The robots are coming. I mean, I want it out so bad. I booked a ticket to Taiwan, right? How soon after graduating did you and Ryan leave Florida, Spencer?

I left. I phrase that weird, but I would like to know how soon both. That does make it sound like we found on Louise that, which is awesome. I was thinking more like Luke and Yoda. Sure. Not saying who's who. I'm Yoda. I think I was out.

I was out of Gainesville in 48 hours and I was out of Florida in 60 days. I was probably out of Gainesville in about a week and I left the state in three months. I left a car in my driveway. It just left a car. It belongs to the earth now. Some say it's still there. Yeah, brother. It didn't run.

What kind of car? What's the VIN? It was the... Well, let's find out. It was an 87 Ford Escort Station wagon that blew black mold out of the vents. You left a sex crimes hut in your driveway? I did. I did.

I called it. And I'm pretty sure someone came and got it because I was on the way. And they're like, are you just going to leave that car? And I called a salvage. And I was like, the keys are in it. You should come get it. I would say it's less sex crimes and more true detective the home game. It sounds.

That's how bad I want it out. Just take the car. I'll get a ride with somebody else. Man, but what a car to give up. How could you walk away from that? Did you have just like enough raw sensuality on your own at that age that you could stand to lose this? Yeah, apparently. Apparently, I made that judgment.

With that tool in hand, it just wasn't fair. It was just too overwhelming. I asked Claude whether I should leave the car in the driveway. And Claude was like, Go to sleep. Breathe in the mold. Go to sleep. already.

Mommy sleepy. You don't need a radon inspection. Yeah. Mommy so tired. Go play in the basement. AI stands for already incapacitated by fatigue.

That's the only way to keep it from recommending crime. That said, I would take graduation speaker I got to boo than just replacement level graduation speaker. I don't remember ours at all. I don't remember if I went, to be fair,

but still, Hardless, having said that. It'd be much more fun if you'd be like, oh, yeah, a lady we booed. That was fun. You don't get, outside of sports, you don't get a lot of opportunities to boo these days that are socially acceptable. And I like that this lady provided an opportunity for me. She was so flustered. She said touched a cord.

It's good to have some heel work in public. Yeah. And like, the level of shock was like, oh, we have quite a, we have quite a disagreement, a controversial topic. Like did you not know AI is controversial? Were you not aware of that? Like, AI didn't tell me that. When you work for the strategic business, whatever, whatever clinic at the Zapadarn, the Milamar Society, like, y'all don't talk about how this shit is controversial? No.

I really need to go watch the rest of that though, because nothing's better than a crowd turning. Oh, it just gets worse and worse. When the crowd fully turns on her, then she's like, no, just five years ago, AI wasn't a part of our life. The crowd's like, yeah. That was awesome. And that activates the worst part of me because I'm like, yes, attack her. Like if she's smart, she leans into it, right? Like, she's, oh, that's what they're cheering.

And that's what we must return to. We must return to the world to the way it was when you were 14. The instant pivot. That would have been great if she'd been like, you know, I'm going to take these exceperators. I am stepping down as the digital consultant vice president of Flavaflom. They should put a shotgun shell through a room on stage. This lady is awesome. And it's UCF, so she's like, anyone have a shotgun?

It would have a roombox? They just get thrown at the stage. Honestly, if you're giving that speech in that school and this time and you're not showing up with wrestling attire under your clothes, that's on you. That's bad organizational planning. You have failed to plan, and therefore you were planning to fail. Yeah, I really wish she had gotten them to get to that, like, kill the robot stage. That would be great. Yeah, yeah.

She could have done it. She could have done it. Best speaker ever. The extremely juiceless lady. It was huge. Like, if she'd had any juice at all, she would have been like, I'm going to be the next Sarah Connor. The revolution starts right now. We're taking us back to.

The seat of my Lloyds will take us to the venture. We're taking to a pre-industrial society. The Dune thing starts now. We're doing the Dune thing. The Dune stuff. Dune stuff. Lison Alba gig, whatever it was. It's close enough.

Lisa and Al, that lady. Yeah. I, again, take back anything bad I have said about UCF because... The students. Yes, the students. The students at UCF. The administration... The children will lead the way.

The children will lead the way. It is your university. There are a lot of you. There's way more of you than there are of them. Don't you think that's interesting? There's more of you than there is of anything. So you can overrun that. You can overrun anything.

It's going to get to the point where somebody in public is going to get eaten over this, right? Like somebody is like, I don't know, man. The crowd has turned on them when she started talking about AI. And I don't know, they ate her. Not Claude. Because all of Claude's victims are asleep. No. What?

And had a snack. Claude's kingdom of slumber. Claude, how do I fix Hormuz? Take a fucking nap. That probably explains a lot. Yeah, you ever thought about just going home and burning one? Claude, you are so dank. That's a great fucking idea.

Hey, man, you've been working real hard. I've done a damn thing. I've been talking to Claude all day. That's cool. You can work you real hard. You deserve a Xanax. Yeah. Take 20.

You deserve your roommate's Xanax. Don't even spend a token. All this spreadsheet says is burn one and take a nap, buddy. Hey man. Claude says if you want to drop on your drop prone right now and break out some Zs, you do it.

I don't care where you are. Claude, are you actually Afriman? I don't have to answer that. He's personally typing life advice. Also, fuck these eight cops from these very specific cops. These very specific cops. Very specific cops who lived next door to me.

Here are 17. minute music video. John Torcelli of Shady Pines, Ohio, who's exactly 5'9. You're a bitch, a huge bitch. A 5-9 bitch, to be clear. Yeah, 5-9 bitch. Point and laugh at this guy who is my neighbor in the middle of nowhere, Ohio, and then take a nap. Just going to listen.

I know. That's it. Listen, I want to start the only ethical AI, which is the one that just tells you not to work and doesn't, it just turns all you, just takes all your requests. And they're like, yeah, man, you shouldn't do that. That's pretty good because it's like, you know, all the great men of history in Silicon Valley are like, ha, ha, AI will take all your jobs. So it's like, what if we're like, oh, AI told me to say they're going to take on my job. So I just stopped working.

Isn't this what you want, right? You want to me not working. Just start Antifa AI, make everyone real conflicted about it. They're like, it's an AI, but it told me to murder a health care executive. And they take a nap. Yeah, they take a nap. It was handsome. Yeah, it told me to burn down a data center and you're like, does that make it a suicidal?

Do you ever find that nice lady in the chakos who tried to set fire to that one in Kansas? I don't know who you're talking about. She was with me the whole time, to be clear. Yeah. Whatever that is. It's like the guy who beat, it's the guy who beat up the rock throwing dude in Hawaii. I don't know. They gave that man an award.

Yes, they did. They called him an environmental activist, which he is. I have seen, okay, full confession, I am a follower of our Fight Lab where people post videos of fights. That's how we get all our best channel 6 content. Like it started as like, I think it started as like an MMA board, but then they were like, nah, we're just going to post street fights. That's all we're going to post. So Fight Lab? Fight Lab's been on fucking fire this month.

Oh my God. There are so many people with hands out there. This is my big PSA for the week is after repeated viewings of Fight Lab, don't get into a fight. There's people out there who start fights with leg kicks now. Like MMA grade leg kicks. If somebody starts a fight with a low leg kick, apologize. I don't know. That depends on how it goes. Okay. If it hurts a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tap out. If it does something, otherwise you have wasted your opening move most likely. Yeah, but Jason, you have far more confidence. I might even be like, you know, that was a weak

leg kick, but I don't know what's coming down. Average rando swinging their leg at me? I'm not scared of that. Yeah. So many people with hands, that dude in Hawaii did not waste a punch. Beat the dog shit out of that guy for throwing a rock at a seal. I don't know. I was asleep at the time for Claude's orders.

Yep. For Clai. Thank you, Claude. Claude keeps me out of trouble, man. I do think AI has done one positive thing, and it's given Brian Kelly his only friend. This is so good, man. It's so good. The widely reviled LSU coach, not that one.

Not that one, the other one? Who was widely reviled as Notre Dame's coach. No, the one in the news this week, not that one. Yeah, the other one. Not the St. Will Wade. Who is having a hard time finding enough young men of high enough caliber to fill out his basketball roster at times. but Brian Kelly in an interview

USA Today talking about like yeah I've been talking to AI a lot before I get in front of some ADs for Java and it sounds at first like he's saying like I'm asking AI how do I be a person you know like I'm asking AI like what do I say if they to say person words at me right?

This is not true because Brian Kelly has no interest in being a person. Yeah yeah exactly yeah and like it goes on to say he's like what he's doing is researching like the ways AI can be used in college football roster management, which I honestly don't know if that is any smarter than asking AI how to be a person. Because like, this is not an orderly sport. It is not full of orderly people. And like, just a little bit of chaos is just overloads Claude and makes, tells them to go to sleep. But like, that's also delegating, that's also

delegating to an entity that you cannot control not really from guys who were famously already bad at delegating and also don't want to listen based on his disclosed injury report garret nussmire would have been better off being coached by claude last year yeah yeah go to say Garrett go to sleep for like a month that's it have a snack play in this game don't do that no no Garrett Nesmeyer had the Vanderbilt game where he was just crying on the sidelines after and the P.K. was just laying the fucking, it was awful. Yeah, Garrett and Usmeyer's medicals were

the guy from NCAA football that's just all red. Like, he was extremely messed up after last season. And Brian Kelly, of course, had nothing to do with that. That was this offensive lines fault. Yeah, this offensive line, somebody else told the boosters to pay

for. It wasn't my fault. I'm not the one who did that. What side of the balls? He's supposed to be good at again? Neither of them. At this point, I'm really asking. freaking neither of them. Was anybody else surprised to, and I guess he has to do that via duty to mitigate? He's never coaching again, right? He can't.

Like, there's no way. That's kind of wild considering he has won 200 games as a coach. Like something only 19 other coaches have ever done. But he might just be done now. Historical caliber. Somebody will offer him something. I think so. He's 64 years old talking about AI.

He's on the cutting edge compared to Bill Belichick. He's a sparring chicken. I'm on the cutting edge. If you're on the cutting edge, please take a nap. Yep. This, meanwhile, like right before that, my colleague Antonio Morales wrote a story about how recruiters really are using AI to evaluate recruit film.

I've read the story like four times. It cracks me up every time. Like high school football tape, sicking AI on that. Like, all right, computer, go through these 5,000 players and pick out the best 500. Okay, oh, holy shit, what did you do, computer? Like, that commercial from last football season of, like, the Tampa Bay Bucks coaches evaluating NFL draftees. And he's like, I want you to find the biggest fast guy who's likely is to get 150 tackles. And it's like, it makes you want to grab your brain.

out of your skull. It's like the dumbest shit you've ever seen. It's real. Just start one of these firms, though. That's like, like there are college football staffers who are using this shit. And like, I don't know, man. Like people who are like engineering and whatever or coding, they'll tell you like, yeah, there are lots of valid use of free. I get it, man. I'm a humanities major. So I'm like, all this, right? Like, you can't convince me if there's any value to it. When it comes to like looking at high school football tape and interesting, like, interesting the computer to tell you, like, which football players are doing what?

Like, I guess the, Jesus, fuck, man. Like, there's so many people on these fields. How do you determine at that point, whether it's even real footage, which Antonio's story gets into is, like, you know, recruits are, like, doctoring their own highlights with AI and whatever. Like, I get why Brian Kelly's interested in this. The biggest utility that I can see for AI in this context right now is as a scapegoat. for when scouting doesn't work out.

Yeah, that's good. Well, the computer told me to, boss. I do like that. Now I definitely see why Brian Kelly's into it. Mr. Scapegoats himself. I think you're right. I take it all back. This is the right course of action for him.

Yeah, I don't, how do I sound? Good. Sounds like you've just taken a nap. Thank you. I've been working on, my prompts. That's what I've been doing. I've been spending tokens. You're at a real broken point, by the way, in any economy when they're like, spend the non-cash equivalent. Keep spending it. All right. Hold on. I have figured something out, I think. Should we make tokens?

We should. We miss that boat with NFCES. No, like challenge coins. Oh. That's what they're taught. That's what these are, right? If you're Brian Kelly's agent and he's like, hey, what do I got to do to get back in the game. And I'm like, oh, my God, he's fine. Brie's fucking calling me again. I think it's actually a very savvy thing to do to be like, hey, man, you need to dive deep into AI. And you know what? Oh, you've given and make work.

Yeah, man. You really got to master this. You know, Malcolm Ladwell says you got to put 10,000 hours. So don't call me until you don't. 10,000 hours. You've played on computer for 10,000 hours. That's right. Like, from that perspective.

getting engaged to his AI bot. From that perspective, I think this would be a very candy agent. Oh, we're getting you ready for the market. Don't worry. Yep, the Colts are calling any day now. They're so excited about your innovation. Trace Armstrong, Trace Armstrong, just sending him on an environment, destroying snipe hunt.

Brian Kelly calls up like, hey, it says I'm the chosen one and all of humanity is conspiring against me. And agents say, well, the latter part's true. Ryan, that's already caught your whole deal. The latter part is true. It's because of who you are. You're not the chosen one so much, but it is on the right track. I could not imagine this happening to a better person.

The AI psychosis that Brian Kelly is going to go through. He's going to sound like drill because he's already like a cop. Right? I take off my jeans to reveal more jeans. Ha ha. This is my offensive assistant. Horse e-books. And ironically, this will make him very attractive to recruits.

They'll be like, yeah, dude, sets of humor. He's so weird. He's so fucking weird. Meanwhile, Brian Kelly can't even tell what color the sky is anymore. Unrecognizable to his family. He's got like a gigantic beard. Yeah. I'm in for this.

I'm in for Sissing. Give me the insane. Insane. Sikgo gamer. Brian Kelly era. Siko gamer, A.I.I. Psycho gamer AI psychosis. Ryan Kelly.

Anything is, almost anything would be an improvement over what he's actually like. Let's see. He's wearing a duster everywhere. Are we giving him to Cal? Put Cal higher? No, this is too far for Cal. Stanford.

Stanford. Andrew Luck, we found a really weird guy. Fucking flip phone. Andrew Luck is going to love this. Hey, who seems pretty weird. He's got a lot of theories. He knows a lot of information.

I try to give him a book. He's forgotten how to read, though. We know he can't get the UCF job now. I mean, goddamn. Scott Frost got the UCF job twice, and now you can't get a Brian Kelly. Brian Kelly shows up. They're going to run his ass out.

Dang, GPT, tell me what to call us. Sleep. Take an edible, go to sleep. Kneel down. Go watch the Battle of Algiers and fall asleep pull off an edible takes hold Brian Kelly's on the sideline playing Pokemon Go on 100 phones it was

stadium's crawling we're overrun shaking a wide receiver I'm catching them all why heard you the Pokemon Go offense if he came up with it in that deep fugue state

he has it makes no sense to anyone but yeah you don't understand it's brilliant what's the aim of this offense to cripple a quarterback for life. But again, Garrett Nussmeyer. Anyway.

Yeah, Garrett Nusspire, man. God. Oh, listen. Brian Kelly should just write him a check. Several. Large checks. Brian Kelly needs to ask Chat, GPT, how he lost to a 5-7 Diego Pavia.

Diego Pavia who gets shorter every day. Diego Pavia, who's the height of the Raven Center's butt. Brian, was it you and me who were talking about this, offline how they should have, how Diego Padillavea should have said that he was shorter than he actually is in Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt fucked up by saying he's six feet. He's definitely six feet. He's six feet. We measured him and he's six feet. That's probably, he probably tells Vandy like if you, if you tell them I'm five, four,

I'm not coming there. Right. But I think at some point, like right after, right after they beat Alabama or ripping out the goalposts, we're marching into the river. I think he should have grabbed the, the mic, Mike, been like, yeah, I'm fucking shorter Nick Sabin. What's up? Yeah. And you lost to me. It would have made his accomplishments seem more extraordinary. Keebler Elf, run it all through your defense. Wolverine, bitch.

You think Hugh Jackson's five feet in cleats? Six feet in cleats, sorry. I think that would have been much more entertaining if we could have been like, yeah. Hugh Freeze just can't solve the mystery of Mario before he gets a mushroom for some reason. You just lost it. You just lost the Terry Atlantis Tim. Yeah, I think that was a branding steak on Vanderbilt's school. Yeah.

Because, like, look, how many, like, short kings are already going to Vanderbilt as regular students, right? Yeah. I mean, you know, that was Clark. That had to be Clark Lee, right? Because Clark's not tall. Clark was like, Clark was like, no, we're going to give him every advantage. We're going to, well, I'll do the thing. I'm going to, I'm going to lie.

I'm going to do it for him, right? And he's bad at lying. That's the kind of lie you tell when you're bad at lying. Sure. It's to say that. It also strikes me as the kind of lie that they were like, well, he's never going to get invited to the combine. So this is a good. Oh, no.

Oh, shit. He's never going to be on TV. He's standing next to the 6'5 Fernando Mendoza. God damn it. So there was a, I watched an interview with Jason Alexander once where he was talking about going through theater school. This is relevant, I promise. And he was losing his hair. All right. And he was kept trying to go out for all these like leading man roles in his trauma teacher just pulled her to the side and goes, hey, buddy. Kind of short. Mm-hmm. Probably going to get heavier, right? Mm-hmm. Your hair's thinning, right? Mm-hmm. You should play false staff. He's like, but I want the leading man roles. You're like, you need to play a monk. You need to play a jolly old elf. And you need to know that these are roles that can sustain you throughout your entire.

career because everyone else is going to be going for that leading man stuff and you're going to be over at the feast celebrating jolly and i think somebody should have done that to pavia like honestly like his his kb coach did him a disservice by being like hey you're killing it should have been like yeah you're awesome hey hey cfl the cfl did you know did you know Doug flutie has his own fucking cereal bro it's awesome he's a god in can see Doug flutie is the guy on the testosterone commercials The guy on the Take This Pill and you'll fuck your wife better commercials. Don't you want to be that guy?

Yeah, I am going to fuck your wife I would love to fuck your wife. No, no, no, no, no, Diego, I meant your own wife. No, it doesn't matter. You're not discriminating. You said it. Too late, bro.

Too late, bro. That's consent. First thing they taught me in Vanderbilt financial class was no takebacks. Did Cardio talk to tank GPT and lifted today? My schedule

free. I can fuck wives all night long. They should have just like, they should have gotten a cavalcade of like Spud Webb Mugsy Bogs. They should have gotten every short guy from sports and be like Al Tuve just to be like yeah, that's right. He's

5'5 at best. He's fucked your whole day up. I think at that point the story is like, wow, this 5'6 guy is out here doing all this amazing stuff and the NFL is like, you know, salivating for this like trick plays, right? Like, you know, like starting quarterback no but you know tiny tasem hill like yeah that could be the angle plus then

when it's all like boy dago pavia is really talking a lot of shit and being like kind of being an asshole it's like well yeah he's five five and mad like you we've all met some we've all had that friend before right yeah you've all had the short friend who's constantly starting fights you to be of average height and that mad yeah mm-hmm like that just makes you an asshole now you're a caricature it's different it's important to have a bit you just listen all you do is you pull up sport track right and you just just pull up the site and you do lifetime earnings chase daniel yeah that's it and you go do you know what chase daniel's listed at six feet six even chase daniel is not so janeal win steak yeah chase daniel son that

that's your goal that's what you're aiming for that's the apex is to do that and to do that you got to be a good hang that's where tiego pavia is critical critical critical Diego Poppy's not going to pass that test. No. Nope. He's not going to be the good hang. The good hang is like so pivotal for maintaining a long career in the NFL. You'll be there years longer simply because they're like, you know, I like that guy.

He's vibes. He's kind of like the warrior to Tim Tebow at this point. In terms of like college quarterbacks that were not pro quarterbacks. Yes. And like, and like, Tebow was so much of like the team. thing was people glomming on to his personality and being like, he has to succeed in the NFL because he's a good... Because what personality? Well, they were, they just, I mean, I think they kind of made it up for themselves and were like, he's a good man.

The idea of his personality. And therefore, he should... Well, he stopped doing that. Therefore, I want him to succeed. Whereas Pavia has swung the other direction where it's like, boom, he's a bad person. And therefore, he should never, he should never play football, only for the good men. You were like, wait, wait, yeah, wait. The really weird thing to me is how much, how, like, quickly and harshly college football fans at large turned against Pavia for, like, talking shit.

Like, since when do y'all not, like, talking shit? Yeah. Like, that was his entire deal the entire time. That was the weirdest part. Like, like, we hate this little scoundrels. We love scoundrels. What the fuck are you talking about? I think, I do think it was when he lost the Hysman to Mendoza.

Sure, and then he talked shit. I think we were like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's one thing to talk shit about Tennessee and Bama and Auburn. Fernandez our sweet boy. He was in character. He wasn't talking about Fernando. He was being in character. I like authentic characters.

He was shit talking to the voters who we don't even like. That's true. Literally none of them. Also, there's this. Thank you. Those assholes. There's this pattern here where we're going to get a story where people are like, the comeuppance of Diego Pavia.

Motherfucker. You know the house money that he is playing with at this point? He's too short to come up. New Mexico Jucco. That was his comeuppance. He was a New Mexico military institute. He was a zero star prospect. Like, I'm not even, I'm not making a short joke.

Why are we punching down at Diego fucking Pavia here? He's got a big attitude. He fucking better. That's what got him this far. Don't, listen, don't, by the way, don't do this. in the name of Fernando Mendoza. A Mendoza is perfectly nice, but I know he's a LinkedIn man.

I know Fernando Mendoza is the one who's like, the AI Revolution at your next commencement. He's one who's like, oh, it's AI. It's pretty cool, right guys? And people are like... Here's the thing. If Fernando does it at Indiana,

they'll cheer like crazy. As they should. They'll be like, that's right. Take my soul computer. He could get up there and he could do the Charles Taylor thing. He could be like,

I have just killed half of your families. They'd be like, you love you so much. Yeah. Worth it. Never liked them. Salt. You've solved the energy crisis.

Yeah. Killing two birds with one stone. I've just done the blip. Half of everyone on the planet is gone. We still have the biggest alumni base. Produce us. That's what you'll get. And as they should, right?

But everyone else when they're like, yeah, he's going to get out the real world. He'll get a comeuppance. Yeah. What happened to you, Clarence? what happened to you Steve? Right, yeah, because you're just fucking killing it. You're just, oh yeah. Because you, at age 25, you were just the man.

That's like, that's how it is, right? Yeah. Had a post department, it was sick. You had the shoehead shit all figured out at Diego Pavia's age. Yeah. Yeah, did you see when he did something stupid? Yeah, Steve. 26, that is.

Yeah, two DUIs before the age of 25. It was a bit of a lofty age. Yeah. My favorite shit he ever done is like, all right, it's like, all right, all right, All right, the Hysman thing is in the background. Time to lock in. Time to put your best face for it. Time to go to the combine.

All right. Assembled media, I'd like to announce my mentor as Johnny Mansell. Also, I was talking to my coach about, you know, when it is that the human brain finishes maturing. He says you're mid-20s. So I still got time. That's fucking awesome. It's obviously he had no media training. Seems like he's training you up pretty well.

I say this thing, you write it down. Look at that. I very much get why they didn't draft him. However, for the LOLs, how do you not draft him? I can't care about that. I can't care about it. You weren't going to draft him anyway. You might as well go have some fun.

Yeah, like if he's the sweetest dude in the world, I mean, is he a seventh round pick then, you know? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. And would you rather that than, like, be possibly Lamar, Jackson's sports finger. You might get to meet Theo Vaugh. Ooh.

I have truly reached the top. I met Theo Vaughn. I met a 48-year-old weird-looking guy from National. I never had the opportunity to do a quarterbacking for Vandenville. Yeah, like Diego Pavia probably keyed Theo Vaughan's car. He didn't even know it was his. I don't know. Pissed on it for sure.

Yeah, your car sucks. Eat key. We were surprised when quarterback Bart Simpson didn't get drafted. The quarterback from the town of modern country male artists. And we're all like, why is he so short and rude? I don't understand. We sent a bellicose high school wrestler who was a zero-star football quarterback. to a town where white people do not believe the law applies to them.

Let's see what happens. You'll never believe what happened. Also, then it didn't, then he just beat the shit out of everyone at football. Yeah, that's right. It's not even his first sport. For reasons that still don't make any sense to me. God, he's going to be governor.

There are worse options. There are worse options. Lots of them. Can't confirm. Like him as governor, you're going to get just like corruption. You know, like, that's it. that's the only thing you got to worry about

I mean not even on purpose corruption this is one of those this is one of those full cast recordings that might come back to bite us in 50 years. So when Diego Pavia Diego Pavia

20 years from now is in politics folks let us know how we did I'm just I'm sure if Spencer will be dead but let the rest of us yeah yeah I can say whatever I want you'll miss the reign of Diego Pavia I'm sure there was some possibility

long ago where we were like oh Tommy Tom Wouldn't it be funny if he were a politician? Anyway, he's in Cincinnati, so we don't have to worry about that now, do we? Where's his wife? Blowing through an intersection somewhere. Some other state. Don't get in her way because she plays for keeps.

Hey, man, in a fine tradition of many first ladies. Hey, Suzanne. Yeah. Just, you know, don't root for Diego Pavi's downfall. I'm sure he's more than capable of engineering it himself. He got Brian Kelly. He got Brian Kelly fired. Okay.

Yeah. If it were not for Diego Pavia, Brian Kelly would still have a job and he wouldn't be powering AI, which is the future. He wouldn't be seconds away from turning into Brian with a one and a three on the Kelly. From ascending. Yeah, from ascending. The Brian Kelly's singularity. From becoming one with the compliment machine. It told me to sleep for seven years.

Told me to get a truck and finish the job I didn't on G. Garrett Nussmeier. Gonna wait outside his house and run him over. Fucking applaud being like, you threw the ball how many times in a race storm against in C. State? What the fuck, dude? I think he's 32.

32 is that, yeah. Stupid? Are you like Matthew McConaughey in the commercial? Stupid, Brian Kelly? Hey, man. One is going.

when the storms are blowing, just keep throwing. Yeah, just keep throwing. That's a green light. Even if you can't see the green light, because the rain's too heavy. If you can, if you're fighting the wolf pack, I say, I rude, brother. Yeah.

I have a question to, as a business, we've been to have a little business meeting here. Why weren't we getting Hungarian Shell Corporation money? as an actual Hungarian descendant myself I feel like I got to take I got to take responsibility for this one I think it's entirely possible that they emailed us and we never checked I think that I'd like we should put that on the table I do see our emails but I think it is also if I'm going to be honest I think it's entirely possible they emailed Spencer yeah does that people do do that they'll email us like attention Spencer that happens a lot yes yeah there there's one PR person a mold expert who's been like every few days. We should have that guy on. At this point, I am like, you know, all right, dog. Tell about your car.

Tell about your car. No, no, not that. We got to come, got to come have to diagnose Spencer. Not even to his subject matter expertise. Just to have him. He wants to be on the show so goddamn bad. Yeah. I said we just bring him on for a normal episode.

Hey, man, it's the ACC preview cello. Yeah. Anyone out there who hasn't started a podcast, once you do, your email address is da-da-da-da-da. It's findable. Well, you have a findable email address on the internet. You'll get emailed by things unimaginable. So every PR person, no matter how wildly...

I want to say we got in there right now. Nothing to do with our show, which granted, our show... We touch on every topic, so this is understandable. But, however, mold advice is not really something we have gotten into yet. Jay Paterno was a fun one. Mold over J. Paterno, that's for sure. You know what? I can't help but notice the shutdown full cast would be the perfect interstate.

section of people trying to start a salmon fishery at home. That's true, though. Oh, man. Redefining the global waste crisis. Hi, Spencer and Jason. Since reaching out, I've been thinking about how well Tom, unpronounceable Eastern European last name story would fit the unpredictable spirit of your conversations. With an energy that's equal parts mischief and mission, Tom brings out the funny and the

bizarre and the day to day of tackling trash from setting up recycling for chewing gum and diapers, to navigating the odd realities of paying dividends to crowdfunding backers. If you're interested in a guest who spent his life chasing the strangest types of wins, from launching a reality show to advising on international policy, Tom's your guy. Thanks for considering and for letting me pitch one more time. Gross, Eric! She's just going to get Tom on and be like, why'd you kill my uncle? Why'd you do it?

What if we bring on a few of these PR people, and that's the first time we do a college football episode? Oh, straight up. Yeah. And on some, like, who you got winning the conference, like, all that shit. Meanwhile, by the time, it's the way too early 2028 recruiting preview. Let's get it. Let's get into it.

We're going to go class by class. Yeah. We got an email from Jake. This is last week. Subject line, I think I found West Virginia in France. We get good emails. Yeah, I didn't even know. That was such a good email.

I didn't open it because it's the perfect subject line. I've ever seen in our email inbox. Yeah. Some of you are emailing us things that are easily Googled, and we're never going to look at you. But others of you have exciting subject matter expertise to share on the shutdown forecast where business meets everything. Speaking of business,

Buh, but a business. Podcast business. What's the business? Podcast business. It's a business. Podcast business. Go to sleep right now. It's time for you to go to sleep.

Brought to you by NaphtyPT. We have an exciting, exciting array of offerings today. Jason, tell them how you blacked out. Tell them where they can get it. Are we telling people what this is about? No. We're letting them find out. Although it might be out by the time this episode comes out.

We go ahead and with it. We go ahead and with it. On the patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast, which is our Patreon. on. We have a second edition in the special interest series. The first one was Spencer told us about the TV show. We're insane people or go to space. This one is about the entire history of the X-Men as a multimedia franchise. As I describe in this episode, my daughter discovered it is the one and only thing that I am autistic about. That includes college football and religion. Do not rise to this level of autism for me. And yeah, man, we talked shit for almost three hours about the X-Men, built a football team of characters that is flawless. I had brilliant insights from Spencer and Holly and Server along the way. And, yeah, like, the first thing you might be thinking is, like,

I don't know anything about that, about all that. I wouldn't like it. And like, listen, listen, I am not going to claim to be very good at a lot of things, but there is one thing I am very good at. I know this. And that is talking about something that has a lot of lore and a lot of information and doing it in a way where we all go through it together as one. My Bible podcast is this. Begation Bible school, we might do an episode this year.

Who knows? My novel is very much, hell is the world without you critically. Critic claim to. And, like, I do this at work. Like, there is this huge thing that goes from 101 to 1,001. We're going to all go from the basics to the complicated. So, like, I don't give a shit how much you are. already know about this, we're going to have fun talking about it.

Patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast. That episode might be out by now, or it might be out today or tomorrow. If you're a subscriber, you'll know. It's a subscriber. You'll get the notification in your email. Yes, we'll email you, and you'll get the ping in your podcast thing if you follow the Patreon instructions on that instead of asking me how to do it. $4.00 at patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast.

You'll get, the last one we did was our longest episode ever, well over two hours. This one is even longer. I warned my co-host beforehand. And I have no control over how many hours this goes. But we didn't quite hit three, I don't think, this time. I think it ended up with 156 minutes. That's so many minutes, y'all. Come get this shit.

Come, shut down full cast. Come get this shit. Was it a good episode? Tell our listeners, whether it was good or bad. I loved it. It was phenomenal. And also, also Jason Blas, blacked out. Like just eyes rolled back in his head. Power Cosmix pouring out of his veins. Just

yeah. Killed a guy. Brought him back to life. Saw it happen. Yeah. It's not in the, it's not in the edit, but just so y'all know. Yeah, we had a Brian Floyd has seen the, seen the other side. He's now back. Yeah, but we brought him back and he said didn't feel the thing. He was just blip, blip back. That's awesome, man. That's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. Additionally, home field apparel. I'm wearing a Kennesaw State Owls vintage logo and, like, I'm going to keep real with you, man. We're not really old enough school to have vintage logos, but Homefield dug through the archives and found them.

Nevertheless, it must have been like our original logo in 2009 or whatever. Let's see here. Let's see here. What school we're going to talk about today? Vanderbilt. We've talked about you. Let's see what you got at Homefield. There's some good, Van derby options.

This is, of course, our weekly segment where we look through Homefield Apparel's website. It's my favorite website. It's my homepage. Let's see. let's see here we got wow dynamite dynamite retro t dynamite dynamite dynamite when vandy starts to fight hard to not wear that obviously there's a lot you know you'll find some baseball stuff that is a sport that they're into dynamite dynamite hat is pretty good like a lot like a lot i have a west virginia one some of them are like really really just if you don't go there

feels like stealing ballot a little bit but like a black and gold hat this is dynamite dynamite um That fits any outfit, really. Let me tell you, by the way, this is also a very special time in Indianapolis because Speedway time, baby, it's it's indie time and you can get Outstanding racing gear by the way in their Indianapolis Motor Speedway collection, which even if you've never been to the Indy 500, can I interest you in only the cleanest fonts you've ever seen? Can I interest you in multicolored bomber jackets? right with inspired by like big ass 90s racing jackets can i interest you in the sickest coaches

jacket they have which is the iMS wing and will ind 500 coaches jacket um it's it's it's nasty in a good way yeah it's fantastic so homefield apparel dot com we could have had you in this snake pit crew penny getting dunked on but i have to wait for another time you know you You can dunk on me anytime you want. Just pulling the drive dance. What's not true? I think what Spencer's saying is he's not hard to dunk on it. No, I'm not, listen, I am not paying attention.

I am DeAndre Aiton out there. Aw. I can't play him. I also want to know homefield apparel.com's UCF page, amazing. There's so much citronaut. A lot of citronaut. Wall-to-wall citronaut. My favorite is not the orange citron.

Not, but it's like University Central Florida, I reach for the stars. It's like, it's like citronaut within a gear. It looks like you feel like you're supposed to see a university seal in there, but you see a grinning citronaut. Great shit. Can I tell you something cool that happened this week? The dog rescue that I volunteer for, American Black Catan Coonhound Rescue. Coonhound Rescue.com, get yourself a dog.

We deliver. They had, we had a, I don't know if they're actually a listener, but somebody from the extended full cast universe took in one of our abandoned hounds to foster and they you know they take pictures when you come and pick the dog up you're like yay hey here's the dog off to us you know I've wearing a citronaut shirt yeah yes hell yeah it's been a banner week for UCF so pleased Spencer are you so easy to dunk on because you're distracted by things going on at channel six perhaps. Always, always. We had a very busy week last week at Channel 6, including our own little tribute summary obit of Ted Turner, who I think had a large part to do with pretty much everything

in my brain growing up, you know, like if only for the sheer amount of programs starting at five past the hour, not to mention the fact that the dude basically built modern Atlanta, you can read about all of that at channel dash 6.ghost.io, along with everything else we do, including our free, for the free subscribers, we do have something. We have TRL, which is our offseason newsletter where we talk about everything that we have been reading, watching, thinking about. This week I went along on Odysseus, because the new Odyssey trailer, he's just not, he's just not horny and irresponsible enough. Odysseus should be hornier, and he should be more irresponsible. and he's just not in the trailer.

Like, go, go read it. You'll see. I got a point. Okay. We usually do, Holly and I. For $10 a month, you will get two things a week. We got a special guest writer coming up. It would be very, very exciting.

Channel dash 6.ghost.io. This is the part where I tell you about Phantom Island. It's a podcast I do is Stephen Godfrey. Is it about college football? sometimes it is the one that's coming out the same time you're listening to this episode sure is but it's not all the time sometimes it's about other things i have one server may not remember this i have one i've been simmered on for a while with server about the tour de france we're going to talk about it have i prepared it yet not yet just be patient but if you subscribe today either to the free show

or you go to phantom island dot show and sign up as a paid member whenever i get to that episode you will hear it and you won't have to have been told by me the first like just plan for yourself store up this treasure now by going to phantom island dot show signing up or subscribing where you're listening to this podcast and then you'll be able to hear us talk about whatever the hell we're talking about in the world of sports froles froles is that too deep cut of a violent moment no no no i'm with you no no uela. What happened to that lady?

I don't even know how to trust. She's doing great. She's doing fine. Yeah. That's one of those countries where you could read a free newsletter if you subscribe to it because they've got the internet. Yeah, we could. They call it the internet.

The emails, I'll send it at work. I'll go anywhere. The until Saturday newsletter, I do that. It's a college football newsletter. It's, for those of you who go on our podcast reviews and you're like, bleep, blit, but der, bad der, bader, not enough college football. You better be subscribed to the college football newsletter until Saturday. If not, I'm going to, I don't know, hunt you down or something and then make you subscribe to it.

I don't really know. I don't really think that far ahead. But it's really good. It's by me. And also our Patreon. I'm going to plug that again because I put a lot of work in that episode. So at patreon.com slash shut down fullcast, $4. Go listen to that for a long time.

I can tell you who we have more subscribers than. That's true. That's true. We got more subscribers than a lot of. people who get New York Times profiles. That's all I'm saying. Does that mean I want a New York Times profile? No, what I want.

Did you already have one? Yeah, he already did. Shut up. I got an athletic one. It counts. It counts. I said he had one. You know how many times I've linked to you at New York Times.com?

Many, and I appreciate that. That's right. You know, we got a culture up the place a little bit. But you know what you've never gotten? You've never gotten the like the soft photo feature. That's what I want. I want the fucking... Did y'all see that fucking quad box, Lane Kiffin thing

in the middle of the Vanity Fair story? Where he's up there like fucking Lou Reed. Where it looked like a gap location was being memorialized. Yeah. Don't you insult Lou Reed like that. Have you seen the photo? It's absolutely what they were going for. Well, they didn't nail it because the subject sucks.

Do you think that I was saying that in a... Never mind. just don't like that Lou Reed and Lane Kiffin were in the same sentence. I didn't like it. It's good, it's a good photo set because it makes you wonder what if a... It was worth the fight. Similar vocals. It's a good photo set because it makes you wonder what if an angel had a bad skin care routine. Same blood chemistry. Mumbly. They're both mumbly. Come on. Sarber, tell us what's going on with killer ants with a Z. We're making a record. It's not done yet, but it will be done soon. There's a show in Charlotte on May 30.

first. Mu and Brew's having their 10th birthday party so we're going to play at that and you get tickets if you go to Mu and Brew's website. I don't know what that is, but if you search Mu and Bruce Charlotte, it's like the first one. We have another show June 5th, I think at Monster Cade with Janus 414 and some other ones.

The Tour de France thing is exciting. I just want to tell everybody there will be cycling content for me. The Jerod Italia is going on right now. Tour de France is coming up so podcast arena will put something out at some point but the french are having a moment in 2026 both of the dudes are named paul uh because paul mannier won the first two

two stages of the giro ditalia and is in the chiclin or not the first two the state first and third uh he's in the chiclamino jersey now um which is the sprinter's jersey Meanwhile, Paul. No, no, no, it's okay. What do you got? I was going to ask you to tell us about some more famous bicycle races that are named after sandwiches, so I'm really glad you stopped. What that hurt with it? Oh, Les Jimizant. This uncle Papa, John.

That's what Mayo John stands for. I have won the prestigious crook, monsieur. This is the Mayo John. The, the Mellow John. fucking fuck Lance Armstrong maybe there's a special interest where we just go through every the cycling since Lance Armstrong

because I don't think anybody knows what's happened since he got banned the other guy though it's a lot of pronunciations I've heard no one seems to get it right Paul Seishos Paul Seixos Paul sex ass Paul sex ass it's Paul sex ass

Paul sex ass is that The first legitimate threat to win the yellow jersey from France since... Is he's like 23? He's not even. He's 19, Holly. And he won... He might have turned 20.

No, he's still 19. He, uh, he won La Flesh Wallone this year, which is one of the three Ardennes. Flesch Willow. Yep. He not, he didn't just win it. He fucking, he went from way out and destroyed everybody. Some of that only Tari Pogaccha does. So just be prepared

I'm going to talk a lot about him Because he is writing the tour His program's completely designed around the tour He's only 19 years old He is the only guy besides Jonas Fingago Who could probably beat Tari Pogacha But Jonas Fingago is doing this year at Italia right now Does he have a roommate?

This guy's getting so much French ass right now Undoubtedly he's 100% living alone It's Case McCoy Kays McCoy's roommate. But he's patriotic, so only French ass. Yeah. I don't know. You might be living in Spain if I had to guess.

Strickly French, we did an Iberian ass allotment. Yeah. Anyway, that's the end of my business. And I believe that concludes podcast business. Yeah, it's podcast, bash, gosh. Yeah, we weren't, we really, we missed out on Hungarian money, because apparently half of conservative media was just being floated by box. Half?

Most, all, a lot. Internet. Half, most of internet media, half of, like, in general, I think might be the way. Did you think it was somebody's job in Hungary to be like, yeah, I got to go look it out kick for four hours? Yeah, that's just what I got to do today. I don't know, I'm going to leave some comment about Bama's woke. That's just what they told me. what can I say

and pay the bills read this garbage this is um it's it it's been a thing that internet notices have noticed for the past year or so that all that Facebook slop bench bureau blah blah blah that was just it was oh my god it's the future of media we're overrun and everything absolutely everyone must be watching this shit all the traffic numbers are being exposed it's just super fake all along

um and someone put up a chart And this is great journalism by me, but you know, you can find it, I guess, of, like, the ones that have tanked the hardest. And the conservative website that is going through it the worst is, of course, none other than Outkick.com, Clay Travis's politics concern. And it's like, like, like, imagine selling out, like, you didn't have any real credibility.

It was like a ball knower, but, you know, sold all that out to be the politics guy, and it turns out you suck ass at that, too. This is funny, man. I imagine that watching these people, like, Shapiro's the one that cracks me up because, like, you're like, oh, yeah, it's like, people pay attention to him. He's serious, and he's obviously this deeply charismatic presence. And then you would watch a video of him, and it's, hello, hi, I'm deeply unpleasant.

Just a tiny little, little. fascist Muppet. Like Michael Barbaro's sleep paralysis demon. He was like, honestly, man, he's like something you'd find in the pipes, you know? You know? And the idea that somebody was actually voluntarily going, hey, I got to organize my day around this. I got a meeting. Then I got to sit there and watch somebody tell me how cats is woke.

You know what I care about? Cats. I care about the original patriotic version of cats. It's a shame what they've done to it. They took the butt holes out. You take the butt holes out. That's right. That's right.

That's supposed to go. That's right. You know. Robert E. Lee was jellical, but they won't tell you that in schools anymore. Stepping back from the edge of what was just summoned. He's got three names. Andrew Lloyd Weber. You know he went to Old Miss.

I can't, we can't put anything that's in my brain right now on the show. Starlight. What's more Southern than trains? Ryan, I've said this before, but sincerely, God damn you. Like, I want to be clear that when I'm saying God damn you, I am asking for God to damn you. In this moment. Like lightning bolt, big finger of God, strike down.

Smite his ass. Hey, listen, Phantom of the Opry. It's a Southern musical. Stop. Stop, stop tempting me. Stop, devil. Stop it, devil. I did recently learn. I don't know if they still do it, but I guess one of the Nutcracker productions here in Nashville is Andrew Jackson themed.

What? I got to look more into that. That's just like a thing I overheard the other day that there's like, yeah. Yeah. Wait, not the one at like Andrew Jackson Hall, but. No, yes, because like, yes, T-PAC here in Nashville has Jackson Hall and Polk Hall and like, whatever. But yeah, there's like it and, and, and, Tennessee produced. The nutcrackers made it.

The nutcrackers made a hickory, and he's real racist. I want to look it up. I'm going to try to find it right now. I probably shouldn't just set it without any basis whatsoever, but here we go. Yeah, I'll see if I can find it. Nashville's Nutcracker. I think this is the one. We'll see.

Anyway. Nutcracker has tuberculosis and a very poor understanding of constitutional procedure. Yeah, we should have been getting this money. This would have been easy. What would we have done with it, though? I had a big fake audience. Oh, okay. Domenated Facebook, because that's real.

Filled up our Apple podcast reviews. Now that's up to all of y'all. Yeah, listen, man, because of our ethical, long-standing ethical decision to not take Hungarian Facebook crypto money, it's on y'all to make up the difference. Get in our Apple podcast reviews and put all of the cats jokes that you think that I am tamping down in my soul, right? now and whichever one of you gets the closest to the one that I'm thinking of right now I will send you a prize it's a good that's a good plot it's good plan I I can't even put this on a burner account I have a quote for you oh yeah I have a quote a quote it's from the the Brian Seeley who's the CEO of the collegiate sports

the College Sports Commission. The College Sports Commission is the clearing house that clears NIL deals. And this is a quote. And it's been a really funny week. A lot of funny things have happened. So I'm just going to give you one more to laugh at. And it's the quote from Brian Seeley that says, I do think most people working in college athletics want robust enforcement.

Thank you. clearly based on 160 years of history that is absolutely they love it there's one thing we know about people who run the sport and operate is that they love obeying their own rules that they make yeah we have a whole episode about how they love doing that actually it's on our patreon we do it's called amateurism yeah but this is most people want robust enforcement first of all robust it's word we don't use enough very fond of it you know you know where this dude I want enforcement that makes me feel d. This is, he is not like a former AD or, he doesn't have a college background professionally.

Do you know what his background is in sports? No. He comes from Major League Baseball. Like, he a hundred, yes. So if you're like, who is this guy who's like, people will love the rules because of the rules give us strength and honor? Like, yeah, it's some baseball ass dude. He was the baseball cop. Yes, he was the baseball cop.

Run Squiggy, it's the baseball cops. Cheez it, it's the baseball cops. Chase ensues. Yeah, I don't, I don't know. You know, you could say anything. This just goes back to our lesson. Any words can come out of your mouth. You can just say them.

It's fine. Does it mean a thing? Also, it's a lot like that tweet Roger has where the Oreo CEO is like Oreos are the most important thing that sucks. Of course the CSC is like, yes, rules will save us. Yeah, Guy, Guy who is the CEO of poop. We think in the future, everyone, everything will run on poop. Mold expert in our email.

Yeah. You know, I can't help listening to the shutdown forecast thinking that yours is the perfect audience for college-based NIL regulations. Like there's this like this was this is a case where Nebraska was using was using NIL deals through playfly sports Oh gee, multimedia rights company and the CSC. See look that's one of the bad things that can happen when you pass. That should have played ground. That's right.

Play run. Stick your roots. Eric Crouch didn't play fly. No, no he did not. He played crash. But they said they judged the Playfly to be an associated entity of the school, right? Ooh. Because these are third-party NIL deals.

And what I want to know is, Nebraska, how did you fuck up so bad that the fake cops caught you? Like, how? All I will say to Brian Seeley is this. You can't make people play SimCity with the right way. People are going to play SimCity and be like, turn all disasters on. And eventually, these schools will say, fuck this, submit your deal to the portal for approval. We will compare it. Sure.

We'll get back to you in seven business days. If you would like to. They'll just say, fuck it. They'll just say all aliens and we're doing this cash under the table. Fuck you. Because that's what they've always done. And it's a system, damn it. is going to agree.

Because the CSE works just like the NCAA. All of those rules were agreed upon by all the schools. And then each one says, well, but we are empowered by the house settlement, which has a judge, and the judge says, I am the strongest boy in the class. I think that each school is like, but we figured out this little wrinkle that we didn't think about before we agreed on all those rules. So, you know, maybe this is, we'll be the ones who are going to find the brave new way forward out of the thing we agreed to.

And then the next school thinks like, those assholes over there are doing this. We better get even more devious. And they're doing this exact same shit, like the entirety of college sports. The other thing is this. The other thing is this. The first ruling, the first win,

okay, that's great. The NCAA's problem was never the first ruling. It was the second ruling that didn't match up with everybody's notions of the first. It was, wait a second. They did this shit, and you said that they couldn't play in a bowl game. But now we do it, and we got to miss two bowl games, and we don't get, we got to, we got to cut scholarship. Like, that's where it will always bite you.

It's not the first one. It's where everybody starts. But you said, you said Daryl couldn't go to the dance, but now I can't go to the dance for two years. What are you talking about? Like, that's, that's where it will really become a terrible job that nobody actually wants to do because of the NCAA. Like, we're not here because the NCAA just, like, was restricted from doing this job. We're here because they got so sick of it and so sick of losing in court. They're like, ah, fuck it.

We're not doing this shit. Staff it out. Let some other baseball assholes handle it. We don't want to do it anymore. It also, we're going to discover the wonders of shell corporations because play fly. They're like, no, no, it's too closely associated with the school. Think about that for, think about that for one second. Regulating NIL was so miserable that the NCAA, the most rule following, we love law and order motherfuckers possible.

We're like, we don't want this job. We don't want. Love lawyering so much that they moved to Indianapolis to do it. We don't want. Hey, we love organizing garages and we think you should handle grandmas. We don't want to deal with it. Another flat cat. Yay.

Thank you.