Shutdown Fullcast - Arizona State Has Been Considered - Week 13, Reviewed

Episode Date: November 25, 2019

So many things happened on this week's episode. Some of them were planned, like talking about the FCS bracket, reviewing how great it is that FIU's kicker throat-slashed Miami, praising Herm Edwards Brain for being trapped in the NFL, or feeling afraid of Ohio State. Some of them were not planned, like Jason's weird eating habits revealed or Billy Dee William's Grizzly Bear Movie. Again - only college football podcast, thank you for listening, etc. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shut down to the shut down full jacks. the shutdown full jam the shutdown jazz full yeah you don't have a you don't have a duke silver in your life do you no no and i'm completely devoid of any jazz you know when they say hey man no he's timothy montvay's duke silver jesus christ that's not even the worst thing i've said today that is but but it is on this show because it just started that is the no the worst thing i said today is i called spencer a blue Bloomington 12 right before we started recording. So, that is Corey's version of the shutdown full cast theme.

Hey, thank you, Corey. I come up for a guy named Corey. I know. You really overcame some adversity in the name department there. I'm glad you have a little bit of jazz in your soul. I have none. Absolutely none. If you want to know what music my soul lacks in entirety, it's jazz.

When I hear it, I'm like, I don't even read. recognize that as music. This is the internet's only college football podcast. Thank God. Mm-hmm. You're listening to it. We are a production of bannersociety.com. I'm the first to shout us out.

I will take another Twinkie for doing the bare minimum of what I'm supposed to be doing after the show. That will top off. That'll be my second dessert tonight because I tried something that I had been looking forward to trying for at least three weeks. when I found out it existed. That's right, they have cheesecake at cookout. It's way down in the lower right corner of the menu, but they have cheesecake, and I tried it. And you know what?

I'm really glad that there's authentic North Carolina cheesecake in Atlanta to be had. North Carolina invented cheesecake. It's true. It's the home of cheesecake. Vinegar-based cheesecake. For all of 45 cents. It's like 380 calories, and they'll put anything. you want on it that they put in a milkshake. Wait, what do you mean? Oh, in a milkshake. I'm like,

you can get a chicken tender cheesecake. You probably could. I mean, you probably could. Can I get a cassidia with a cheesecake and then another cassidia? And put it, yeah, you can get a cheesecake casidia. It's cheese, ain't it? Yeah, and I will report back and tell you that it is delicious because it's cheesecake, y'all. It's cheesecake. I don't know. I'm just happy before we did this podcast that you were like, yes, let's, let's, let's make sure that, make sure that he's good, make sure that he's good and deranged before he gets on here. If you are a person who can eat an entire cookout tray and then eat a piece of cheesecake, you might be a Viking. You might be a high layer. Cookout tray is tiny. Come on. Or you might, yeah, you might be 22. Come on.

Let's push that to two cookout trays. Yeah, but Jason, you're on. You're on, you're on. You're you're on the snake diet right you just eat like you'll eat like 2,500 calories at once and then not eat for two days right I have I yeah yeah I have yeah so I eat like a I eat like a caveman and then the Silicon Valley dorks came along and everyone is like oh if you if you do that then you know you are you are a tech libertarian warlord and it's like fuck they've ruined that too so now I got to go back to eating three square meals just so everyone knows I'm not like a weirdo trying to turn their blood into it.

No, man. You work on the internet. Nobody watches what you eat. You can just say you're eating. Yeah. You can perform. I'm going to lie about eating. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'll say, no, no, I'm not being a very good normal Twitter lib. I'm eating three square meals. Definitely not eating 800 frozen tachitos at once for the week. Yeah, definitely not eating one large meal and then not eating a meal later. Then I'd be Elon Musk.

Ew, I hate that guy. What I try to do is I try to simulate the caveman's chasing of a large animal and debowering of it, and then days of famine after that. So what I do is I make an enormous elk out of takedos. And then I tackle it and eat it in my lawn. And that's how I got the idea for Cybertruck. Cybertruck, our sponsor tonight, selling animals made of cheap frozen goods. So you can simulate the thrill of the hunt.

without any of the unnecessary blood or gore. Does CyberTruck remind anyone else of the Texas Longhorns in like every way? Go on. Like way too expensive. Does it work? Arrived with much fanfare for no clear reason. Fact with blood money. It costs way too much money.

Like, you can't even own it in Texas because you're too poor. Delivery will be delayed several years Yeah, it'll get here when it gets here You know Yeah It's super tough Then you know Throw a

If you throw a rock named Kansas State at it Right Yeah throw a bailer at the window Oops Oh, we'll fix that Don't worry That won't happen next year At the very same time

Again And again I am looking, by the way, at our actual show notes. We do have show notes. I think this is the, is this the fourth week in a row we have show notes? We always have show notes. I make them, and then they always get roasted as if they don't exist. I make the show notes.

I make show notes every week. This actually might be the third time Spencer's looked at the show notes, I think, is what he's unintentional. They didn't exist before I looked at them three weeks ago. Babe, that's object permanence. This is my long way... This is an object permanence issue. This is my long way of saying that I want to tee holly up

for the only news that you need remember. We will discuss what happened in the week that was in college football. This is not a good save on your part. But... No, no. But, okay, save or not... Before you do, before you do,

I want to tell Jason, I have a little personal advice for Jason. I understand on a deep personal level the urge to take credit for the work that goes into this podcast. I need you to know it will only backfire online. This might be the first time in history that anybody has blamed Jason for anything

going wrong on this podcast. I kind of want to well the thing is so Ryan will always be blamed for the audio whether it's Ryan's fault or not. Now what I would like is for any time the show appears to not be hewing to a specific path. I want that to be

considered my fault. Oh, well, we're both fucked. Congratulations. No, I'm joking because there was like, what was it? I think it was like Bud saying, like, I can't believe they do this without a plan at all. And it's like, well, kind of. I mean, we have sketchmarks. And I do this. Again, I would just advise everybody.

Holly has the right attitude here. If anybody's ever like, hey, I think Holly's at fault for the forecast, you could be like, I'm playing Nintendo Switch. Clearly I'm not, you fuck face. No, no, it's okay because the one dude in our Reddit, who was convinced that I had undermined everything last year, has now moved on to Richard in the PAPN Reddit. Weird. Huh. Anyway, I have some news. Go on.

Rutgers Week continues for, what, the fourth straight week? It's always Rutgers week. You're on Banner Society. It's rivaling Scott Frost Day. I know. It's up there with Scott Frustay. Rutgers Week continues on with the revelation by reader Jeff Amy. I think this is his name.

He's got a dude and a lady in his avie. So I hope that he is not sharing a Twitter account with your girl. That's weird. Don't do it. But after Ryan's. unholy unveiling last week of the existence of Rutgers Chief of Police

Kenneth Cop Jeff Amy brings to us this week the, is that Yazu County? Yeah, we'll go Yazu. I'm going to call it Yazu. Okay. Mississippians, you can reach me at 38 Godfrey. He's one of you and it's his fault. I don't know

anymore. No, they already do that. Shit. No, I know. That's what they already have a contact information. So, Mississippians, why While you're screaming at Godfrey anyway. Why are you yelling at Godfrey about other things? Yell at him again for not learning me up better. Anyway, I'm dragging this out as...

Godfrey was the one who told Ole Miss that they should just keep Matt Luke. I have it on record. Oh, yeah, that happened. Yep. Anyway, Yeezoo County, Mississippi has a sheriff. The sheriff's name is Jake Sheriff. Wow. You can see his web page on...

Naysu County.net slash sheriff in which contains a note. The note is signed Jake Sheriff and underneath that it says Sheriff. That's so he's Jake Sheriff, Sheriff. Sheriff, yes, damn it's Sheriff, Sheriff.

Here is one of the saddest things about this. He is, um, I just Googled Jake Sheriff because I was like, oh, he hasn't put a picture up. I wonder what he looks like. There is a famous cricket player named Jake Sheriff instead. He's not even the famous one. He's the undercover Jake Sheriff.

Yes. See, he should fall in love with Kenneth Copp. They should get married, and then he can be Jake. Jake Cop Sheriff. Or Jake Sheriff, Cop. I think it's Sheriff's Sheriff. Yeah, they can name their first child, Deputy. And their dog's name is senator

Or major, major sheriff cop I This makes me want to make like a database or something Of the world's most metal gear names in real life Like I think I think The most metal gear football name I've ever seen Is Puma Pass Louisville quarterback Yeah

Because you got a wild animal And then you got the guy's job Right You know Holly brought up That Chase Young is also a very good of nominative determinism. We were talking about this in the slack,

and we were trying to figure out if he's, because, you know, asked we love football players whose names are simple sentences, and we were trying to figure out if Chase Young is the only player whose name is also a simple sentence that is also his on-field mission.

And nothing quite fit, because, you know, you can't quite have the kicker whose name is blew it in there because his job isn't to blow it. But then somebody hit upon one that we had not actually considered. pace huh yeah it's close it's still not as good as chase young much like anyone else playing football right now you're not as good as jace young jake sheriff this concludes

Rutgers week for today tune back in next week for Rutgers week jason god that's foreboding record's week now for something completely different let's talk about teams that are going to bowls. Yeah, actual good, dude, yeah. So we're trying out this thing early in the show where we do promo zone. It's like a podcast. Get in the zone! Prozoon!

The promo zone Liberty Bowl. Where we remember to actually talk about our work like they do a professional podcast like PAPN. Holly, of course, is a proponent of Rutgers and all things, Rutgers, such as Mississippi Sheriffs. I'm a lifelong Rutgers fan. Yeah. So I wanted to mention in the bowl projections page that I update each Sunday morning at banner society.com, as well as Tuesday nights these days, how I am still clinging to the notion that the Utah Uts are right in this thing, despite Oregon losing, which to me is a stupid fucked up reason to discount Utah from the race because they beat the team that beat Oregon, meaning there should be no value lost or gained from this in that they beat both sides of the equation.

what law is that that like matter can neither be created or destroyed yeah that's uh that's uh godwin's law of the universe jake sheriff's law jake sheriff's law's law's law the only law i acknowledge jake sheriff's law of the universe universe cop there are at least there are at least three three of my science teachers that i know listen to this this is called the confirmation of mass energy it was discovered by antelan la Blasier and 1785. Do not at me. It's part of the work of Dr. Jean-Claude Van Dam, better known as Time Cop. Stop. Y'all! If you're from Oak Ridge, don't yell at me.

Don't. It's fine. We're going to do a whole Berduli effect episode one day. That's not a... It's called Murphy's Law. I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, it states that actually that all matter is created by Nazis on the moon. Yeah. And it also, just like any of college, football argument involving Oregon burned or getting burned is called the mallard reaction right yeah

yeah sure yeah i just wanted to say listen oklahoma you thought you know you you thought Oregon going down that's great it's time for you to jump utah how about you beat somebody by more than four points well i have a solution before you go and go and draw down on bama like i appreciate oklahoma being incredibly entertaining but step stay out of the youth's way okay youth's got this let's let's let's let's leave this to the Utes, this whole playoff thing. That's all. That's all I wanted to say. So you're saying we need or we need Oklahoma to beat

somebody by more than four points. It'd be, it'd be nice. Have I got a game for you? Well, they could beat them by two points. Very true. They could beat them by three points. It could beat them by 80 points.

You just never know what you're going to get when it comes to bedlam. Throw out all the records. books for Oklahoma The most overly branded game in all of football Total Anarchy Which is saying something for Oklahoma

Which is saying something for a game named after a famously corrupt and horrific mental institution Whoops What? The other thing I wanted to promo of ours is a FCS playoff rack

Hey Division 1 has a football playoff of more than three games. It starts this next week. It's great. Well, this week won't be great. But the rest of it will be great. You should watch a lot of it. It's better than the fucking Arizona Bowl and whatnot. But not better than the Banner Society in New Mexico.

Of course, not better than the Banner Society of New Mexico Bowl. That could have a team as good as Western Kentucky in it. So, yeah, man. They beat Arkansas. They got to be good. They got to be. Yeah, they got to be really good. That's a former Southwest Conference team.

team, brother. So our coverage to this point of the FCS playoffs bracket featuring the official FCS team of the shutdown fullcast, Kennesaw State Owls, who are stepped down this year, but still have the son of Rick Steiner is Division I's greatest fullback, Toten the Rock for us. The Shoney Back! What we did, what we did is we made a mascot fights bracket, and I wanted to run through it real quick. We sent it out on Twitter earlier, and it was going out in the newslet. letter on Monday morning. I wanted to have you all pick the, let's say it goes to

chalk and we go to the elite eight with just the seeded teams or in the final eight. I wanted to run through these matchups with y'all, all right? Okay. Based on seeding, if you give extra bonus army size to the higher seated teams, we would have, for instance, 24, North Dakota

State Bison would be facing 17 bears from Central Arkansas. Who you got? Bison. Yeah, I can't pull against the bison. It's also a numbers advantage, which is important when your animals are that big. Yeah. How bad are the Dallas Cowboys at that point?

Because I think that affects how angry the Central Arkansas Bears are. Well, they lost a day. Yep. All right. Then give me the bears. Okay. Next up, the other side of this bracket, we have 21 Hornets from Sacramento State against 20 Montana State Bobcats.

That's not that many hornets No, it's not an insufficient hornets It's like a handful An insufficiency of hornets I'm gonna go I think they will kill one of the bobcats But I don't think they'll get them But only they'll only kill one of the bobcats

If they like converge on one bobcat Are hornets one of the ones where they can only sting once No, they can sting a lot Yeah, they reload I'm going with the hornets And they're mean as shit Like they're gonna micro one of these bobcats But I like that this is also

the Charlotte NBA NBA game somehow. My question here is, how does a bobcat kill a hornet? It eats it. Swats it in a ball. Well, that's not going to kill a hornet. Have you swat it good, it will? Are they these big, listen, I'm just, I'm going hornets because they can reload, and I know cats. And do you know what cats do not have? Stick-to-itiveness.

They don't. The minis... That's true. Cats are many things. They are lethal. They are quick, majestic, all right? smart powerful but do you know what they are not gritty cats are not gritty cats are like compelling argument yeah they sleep they sleep like like 23 hours a day do you know what a hornet does all day long yeah it's why the panthers got one good quarter in them y'all what a hornet does all day long is contemplate murder that's all they do okay but someone is a cat well yeah but then then it gets tired and has to sleep right a hornet but with the cat it's just it's just contemplating the

is going to execute on it at some point. Yeah. So I'm going hornet. This is a good argument, Spencer. I'll go hornets. I'll go hornets. Thank you. Nicely argued. On the other side, we have 23 royal English bulldogs from James Madison University versus 18 jackabets from South Dakota State.

This is a hell of a Christmas carol. This is amazing. These, these bulldogs are going to have a heart attack chasing a jacket. Yeah, exactly. This one's easy for me. Jack rabbits for sure. 13 terries from Woffer, 12 religious warriors from. burn. Nine great

Danes from Albany. Eight southeast Louisiana lions. 19 grizzly bears, 22. Wildcats, 18, Jack Rapids. And Juan Saluki from Southern Illinois. No, they didn't make it.

They were the... God damn it, Spencer. No, no, no. No, I think what Spencer's referencing is they were the snub team everyone's pissed off about. Yeah. Yep. Figure on the pulse, as usual. I like this matchup because, like, I think the jackrabbits win.

Yeah, no. The jackrabbit is big and tough and mean. Yeah, those hind legs got you. Yeah, I mean, one bulldog will get, like, like three bulldogs will get one jackrabbit, and the rest of them are going to kick the crap out of them and give them heart attacks. I don't know that they're going to make sense.

Heart, heart explodes. Heart explodes. I don't know if the bulldogs score a point here. Also, they're royal bulldogs, so they're like, hmm, people do this for us. Yeah, yeah. I think jack rabbits might just run the bulldogs to death. like this may not involve any hand to hand paw to paw of combat whatsoever wow a bulldog team

that moves ponderously and slowly nope nope no stop it we agreed we weren't going to do this Spencer's just talking jm you that's all normally anyway 22 wildcats from weber state versus 19 grizzly bears from montana you're grisly bears this seems this seems grisly bears utter annihilation yeah this is the only this is the only part of the bracket where I'm like I don't see how we can argue. Squash match. Yeah. Okay, so in the, let's see, the semifinals, we have 24 bison from North Dakota State

against a handful of hornets from Sacramento. Before we, hey, before we continue on in the bracket, can I throw in one upset possibility that would raise a very interesting specter, which is if the 17 bears from Central Arkansas meet the 19 grizzly bears from Montana, and they would have to do so in the final. but if they get that far who you got wait isn't it just simple

why isn't it just simple math 19 bears versus 17 also the grizzlies are bigger yeah grizzlies are bigger I'm gonna go I'm gonna go with the grizzlies there What manner of bear are the Central Arkansas Bears? Oh there's definitely black bears

yeah yeah they're regular black bears so the grizzlies will have like 100 pounds bear bear bear lower I may or may not have thought about bear versus bear combat a lot. I hope one day an FCS school realizes this is how we pick the FCS

bracket and changes their mascot where they're like, we're the mecha elephants now. Fuck you. Mecca elephants with helicopter blades on them. We're the beyonder from Marvel. He's more powerful than infinity because he has his own universe and he makes

like Iron Man fight Iron Man in his own universe. Central Arkansas got themselves. a gray field they just might oh boy anyway sorry jason the hynets the hornets can like damage the bison i guess

are they even going to notice though unless they like get them on the nose or something that's just going to make a bison that yeah and honestly their skin's so thick and they encounter stinging stuff all the time now just like us exactly

yeah so i'm sensitive I mean this might be kind of thing where it's is this kind of thing where it's the Hornets like they get credit for finishing the game but like they don't actually score you know i don't know something like that bison win that round uh oh god okay 18 jack rabbits against 19 grizzly bears grisly bears i used to get interesting grizzly bears no the bears will just wait i the rabbit the bears are never going to outrun a jack rabbit this is an o t game

and i will tell you why this is an o t game that goes into o t z zero zero yeah because bears because bears won't chase the jack rabbits because jack rabbits can't dent the bears uh it ends with uh it ends with a kick and that's the grizzly kicking the jack rabbit into it is with a kick and that's the jackrabbits which has the most powerful hind legs

wow proportionally but not directly yeah I'm going with the bears I don't know man I gotta go I'm going jack rabbits Ryan who you got grizzly bears I just if you if I went up to a child and I was said hey we're going to put

18 jackrabbits and 19 grizzly bears into an arena because it's fun they'd be like don't do that that's brutal what's wrong with you yeah because they'd be like the jack rabbits are too they would say uncle uncle ryan uncle ryan the jackrabbits are too good at kicking in special teams that's true i'm bad with children can i give you one no no the jack rabbits are going to beamer ball this before we before we get this to the next matchup let me just say you said 19 grizzly bears and my first thought was oh god that'd be horrible 19 grizzly bears is like the definition of thing I don't need in my life somebody's like yeah there's 19 grizzlies outside what do I do that's a bad but you live inside you live inside now put on a pot of tea yeah

ask them what they'd like to drink get out the old banjo and washboard I understand they're fond of jamborees this is clearly a jug band waiting to happen try to become one of them you have you're already halfway there Yeah. I've seen that. Coat yourself in bear scent. That's what they do in the movie.

I've seen that movie, literally, and it doesn't end well for me. It is great. A lot of, a lot, but a lot of it goes well before that. Oh, yeah, the guy from Star Wars made a movie about that. Yeah. The bear movie is a lot funnier than the Star Wars movie. The guy from Star Wars. Yeah, I saw him in Star Wars, and everyone was excited about it.

So I looked him up, and it was like, oh, cool, he made a bear movie. movie. I hope somebody is very confused and is like, did Billy D. Williams are a bearer? These bears are the smoothest bears in the forest. In your final, we have 24, 24 bison versus 19 grizzlies in Frisco, Texas. If the jack rabbits aren't going to get them, I don't think anybody will. Yeah, I'm going to.

I'm going to go with, I'm going to go, it pains me, because I love both. The numbers are too close there, and bison ain't got claws. Yeah, but they work together. Bears aren't big on team. Yeah. They really are. They're the mascot that really like, tigers is the, Tigers are the only mascot that really is like.

I'm going to stop right there. Respectfully, I think that your bias is clouding your vision. Probably. Spencer likes bears too, though. I do. I'm very fond of bears, but I will say. There goes Spencer's bear privilege. once again.

Yeah. That doesn't mean what you think it means. Grizzly. Oh, it would be grizzly man, wouldn't it? Are you a grizzly man or a grizzly man? I will actually, I will go and say that I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with the bison because they're going to survive. Bears, they're at the top of the food chain.

You know what happens to those at the top of the food chain? They're dependent on those below them. And if they work together, they can survive and overthrow. So, yeah. I'm going Bison. Tisk. I gotta go

grizzly bears still. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. 19 of them outside. Like, I can't come to work today. Why?

There's 19 bears at my house. God. What? Yesterday they were 18. Also, so, so, astronaut comes back in Cox again.

New bear. Bears on it. Bears on the moon. Uh, spoiler alert for the newsletter, which is already out as of the time you hear this recording. I'm picking the bison for the reason Spencer said, teamwork. Wow. Yeah. Why don't we just cover FCS?

It's like better mascots. I say this all the time. Yeah. I would love nothing more than to ignore all of it. You know what would not be an issue if we just covered FCS? Our inability to get the Pact 12 network. Yeah, that's true Well, we couldn't

So in some ways it'd be a more accessible I was going to say we would That's really true We would miss at least one or two of FCS's victories over FBS every year Oh yeah Oh man Yeah, if we were diehard FCS fans

We'd miss a couple of our greatest conquests We would never have to watch Notre Dame That's true Yeah, I'm done Sold Or USC Or UCLA or most of the Big Ten

until they accidentally schedule North Dakota State. And we still get to watch a lot of SEC football. I don't know, this is a lot of Florida State on my schedule. I am, let's see, we have Ryan. Oh, I have a few quick updates to the Bold Predictions game that are good. A couple that are coming down to the wire that are still in flux. Alabama loses two regular season games.

Obviously, the Iron Bowl is the opportunity for that one to flip one way or the other. No California teams in the Pac-12 championship is still technically on the line, although it's looking increasingly likely that it will clinch. The all-California team Pac-12 championship was eliminated at least a couple weeks ago. and Les Miles and or Mac Brown make a bowl game Mac Brown and UNC dominated Mercer to get to win number five so if they can beat NC State

in their last game of the year this one will cash as well I only want to say that again thank you Corey for the theme music for the shutdown full jazz version of the shut down full cast theme I'm Billy D. Williams and here are 19 bears playing

jazz flitch Colt 45 When you're in the woods Here are 45 Colts There are 45 Colts And my Colt 45 And this bear has consumed

45 Colt 45s How are you feeling bear And the bear's like smooth Bada Bair Yeah That's if If there was, yeah, the bear would be playing the flute. Thank you, Billy Dee.

Also this week, I believe, coming up, I'm going to have a piece on banner society.com, which picks, I think, I wanted to talk about the cruelest rivalry in all of college football, the one that is currently, and I think the most nightmarish streak of complete dominance by one team over another in varieties of punishing ways

that their blowouts and their close games. And then there are ones in between. And then there are long periods of nothing but pain and suffering for one party in this particular rivalry that is coming up this week. And it will be about the Virginia Tech UVA rivalry. Is Photoshop involved, of course, because I'm an artist. Also, this week, making it even more cruel, there are stakes. The winner wins the division and very likely the Orange Bowl bid. I know how this is going to go.

Oh, man. Virginia is going to, all right, let's agree right now. Virginia will have the lead in at least the third quarter. Oh, sure. And Virginia Tech will win. Yeah. Virginia Tech will win. I think they're stuck in one of the cycles where it's going to come in close

and then they're going to lose by 17. Right? Sure. I think that's it. I'm going to go with, it's incredibly low. scoring so the only post-game story is just bud foster like virginia your best story and like your best team in like 10 15 whatever years all anyone remembers is that you got you know bud foster he'll do three points yeah also both teams are trending in exactly the wrong direction for uva to

have any hope in this whatsoever just in terms of overall play i think uvaa was you know playing a little bit better earlier in the year uh certainly probably a little healthier and Virginia Tech meanwhile we were going to fire Justin Flente five weeks ago right he was finished Dunzo and now it's

yeah yeah I don't know kind of got this thing turned around y'all it's looking bad a rivalry like this should have sort of a cash the briefcase element where it's like one or the other can say now strike attack

no because Virginia would be all like oh this briefcase isn't nice enough. Oh, yeah. My dad's briefcase is way shinier than this. This isn't real leather. My briefcase holder,

Charles, has misplaced this briefcase among my other briefcases. You may know him, Charles Pitt. Charles Briefcase. Meanwhile, Virginia Tech every time UVA wants to do this is like that clip that people use on Twitter,

the WWE response line. Hold on a player. Oh, yeah. In Virginia Tech's briefcase is just full of roast beef. Virginia Tech briefcase. It's that metal lunch pail. That's right. Cash the lunch pail.

That's what's in it this whole time. That's not supposed to be enticing, right? That's what it's going to... It's got Mike London's soul in it. That's what's going to happen is they're going to unveil what Bud Foster's had in all those years. He will reach in and pull out a rusty gun. It's a gun! And then eat it piece by piece.

What do you think Bud Foster wouldn't going to come to the stadium's strapped? He's seen trouble. It's a chicken fried good. It's delicious. Frank Beamer's like, I'm talking about it. I bet what he has inside of it is another lunch pail. No, just ever smaller lunch bales.

Just into infinity. Oh, God, Bud Foster's got the secret of the universe. It's just in the smallest of those lunch bales. And you have to open all of them. No one's ever done it without going mad. So that's the end of our intro. And now it's time to discuss the college football Saturday that just occurred. I'm told that I need to say something about another coach that we were going to fire all season.

Oh, God. I know. I know. Hang on. I know. I'm using it to telescope out to a larger point because I don't want to go. focus on this game either. I did not watch Saturdays

Tennessee football contest. I don't. As our friend of Omani says of the Atlanta Falcons, I have put that poison. I've got that poison out of my system. And today, I happened to catch a replay as I was doing many other things, getting ready for Thanksgiving. And I was walking back and forth, and I would just catch like snatches of sound.

And I walked through, and this game was being called by Jordan Rogers, who I cannot remember if he was the one the Bachelorette. And Tom Hart... He was. Okay, sure. And Tom Hart, whom you may know as a former Atlanta Braves person, who I have always thought to be a generally sensible and good-humored sort of person. So I was extremely confused when I was walking through. And I thought I heard him say Red Hot Tennessee. I was like, well, that's weird. That's probably a visual pun and I just kept on walking and then about 30 seconds later I cut back

through the living room and I swear to whatever long dead now awakened Egyptian gods you want to put before me that one of them said Tennessee was the hottest team in the league now I don't know if they meant FBS football I don't know if they meant the SEC I don't know if they event the SEC East, but all of those things are wrong. And they're not even the hottest team in the state. No! So anyway, then I turned the game off, but apparently we won. Why does this keep happening? Factor one. Do we have, what one on earth kind of smoky blindness has said in here?

Factor one, the same thing happens every single year. Tennessee's schedule is historically front-loaded as hell. Correct. Alabama. In Alabama forms a kind of fulcrum to Tennessee's schedule, which generally has Florida and Georgia and at least one like serious-ish non-con opponent up front and a back schedule that invariably includes Vanderbilt and Kentucky and some weirdly overmatched little team. Correct. And with the addition of Missouri and Missouri being rather weak this year. That has not always saved us in that game. No, this year in particular, it does bolster the schedule that Mizzou is not quite as strong as they have been. We didn't win very far. Mm-hmm. So with that, people always forget that Tennessee manages to the second semester of the year.

Always a much easier course load. It's always been very helpful. Well, it's good and bad, right? Because it's never boated well for early season games. because getting up to speed in, you know, week three for Florida has historically been very tough for this team. But also in the back half of the season when the team is limping and half of them are injured, just like most other teams, it enables you to cover that up and coast on down to a nice little Music City Bowl. And that's one thing, it's one reason I believe this team has been to as many bowls as it has because it's pretty easy to, like, skate into the belk or the outback or whatever when your last four games.

are not a cakewalk, but about as cakewalky as you're going to get in this conference. Yeah. Anyway, I checked to see if it was some kind of visual pun with steam rising off the head of Smoky. It's not. The thing that annoys me about this, this kind of thing, whenever it happens with any team, is that people forget about expectations. Like, the reason everyone theorized that, you know, Jeremy Perut was going to be gone, AD's taking over, all that is that the back

of the schedule was lighter. Everyone knew this was the case. So when it happens, we don't have to be surprised. You know, we don't have to, like, overly praise Tennessee for winning the easy games. We knew all along that these were the easy games. So great news. When you come into the season, when you say this team should be 10 and 2 or 5 and 7 or whatever, and you look up in their 9 and 2 or 5 and 6, don't act surprised.

And I thought this was going to be a 3 and 9 team that now has the potential to be an 8 win team if they get through, I don't know, the Belk Bowl or something. but the bad news is Jeremy Pruitt's still going to be coaching this team. But you've hit the nail on the head. Like with a reason why in some circles, Tennessee is a hot team or Jeremy Pruitt is a like coach of the year candidate. Who said that? It's because lots of us thought they were going to be a three or four win team

and they're probably going to win seven games. Yeah, but we thought they were going to be a three or four win team because they lost the fucking BYU and Georgia State. That happened during the season. That was Jeremy Pruitt's fault. I agree. Those games count. But sometimes the best way to make yourself look good later is to fuck up early.

I think that applies if you do it. If you fuck up in 2018 and then you're good in 2019, you get credit for the bounce back. If you do it during the season, I'm sorry, you just had an okay season. Ryan actually kind of hit upon what's really bothering me right now. This is a team that is very used to fucking up early in the season. Florida and Georgia, not at goddamn Georgia State at home. Yeah, I mean, there's no giving. You don't give somebody the coach of the year.

You don't give somebody an award for fixing the problem they created. Yeah. Anyway, I adore Tom Hart. Don't yell at him online. I don't have any feelings about Jordan Rogers or whatsoever. And I have never bought into, I don't think that the producers were whispering in this broadcasting team's ear and saying, be sure to pump up. Tennessee football, I am concerned that their drinking water has been dosed with something

and would like them to be screened by medical professionals. The good news is, for week two next year, Tennessee plays at Oklahoma. Fuck me. That'll go great. That'll go really good. What if we bailed out of the SEC East and talked about Arizona State? Yes. That's right. Let's talk about a real team. Let's talk about a real football team. An actual red hot team. A team that has the same record as Tennessee.

A flaming hot team. And the same record as Texas, we should say. Or Kentucky. Or Kentucky or Illinois. That is so much funnier. Or Washington, or Liberty, or Charlotte, or Illinois. Shout out to the Charlotte 49ers, by the way. Charlotte Live shut down full cast attendees, now possibly going to

the, I don't know, Bahamas Bowl or something. Shut up to Charlotte. Charlotte, you have the same record as Washington and they went to the playoff a few years ago. Charlotte, you were as good as the Texas Longhorns. I mean that I try. I'm trying to say that as a compliment. On a per capita basis, they're way better.

Yeah. Arizona State. Oregon, failed to consider you. Never, never fail to consider Arizona State. Don't. And if you want to know, by the way, the one moment where this game completely turned and got competitive and stayed competitive was Arizona State stopped him on a fourth and won. And I am so loathe to praise this moment because it is exactly the kind of moment that defense first coaches love and insist make things happen. And it's the one that people who are very, very conservative would also point to that, oh, you went for it. You didn't take. the points. You went for it. Yeah, they should have gone for it. And yeah, relying on your defense worked for once for Herm Edwards. But you know what else Arizona State did? They passed

for like 9,000 yards. Don't look that up. Yeah. Daniels is out there dropping dimes, man. Yeah. And like the thing with the puns to me, if I watch like an NFL coach, like some dumb ass like Dan Quinn, or if I watch, you know, like one of the college coaches who it's like, this guy's a great recruiter. You know, when they make the stupid punt call, I'm like, oh, this is dumb, this is dumb. When Herm does it, man, I know he believes in it. I know he is putting his soul into that punt. And I'm like, yes. Fuck yes. I'm right there with you. It's like when Rod Gilmore says, I would punt here. I'm like, goddamn. That's right. That's your ethos, man. That's your ethos. That's in your marrow. You can't change who you are. That's right. Yeah. That's right. You, like, I know

this is the wrong idea, but I know you believe in it. Let's do it. Yeah, I know you're think that you're actually kicking so much ass when you punt there right like it's kind of the the counter leroy jenkins wow groy lincoln's what do you do it staying right here waiting for orders disconnect it's when somebody folds at poker so hard they like slam the cards through the table right like what are you doing i think you're the dragon that you're the dragon that you're the dragon that leroy Jenkins attacked. Yeah. Right?

Like, no, y'all show aggression. I'll just sit right here. I'll have a wait for you to come to me. This was a game, by the way, where Justin Herbert made some really weird throws. I don't even say like bad throws, because bad throws implies... Excuse me, future Denver Bronco. Justin, a giant, giant trebache of a quarterback, you say. Questionable decision making, also huge.

I can't stop thinking about our joke I forget which one of y'all said it about John Elway takes one look at a tall quarterback and says wow this guy's almost as tall as me he is like there can be like a 7-5 and the quarterback is 7-5 and 305 pounds and he would go

man that guy is almost as big as John Elway like John Elway I think do you think John Elway believes that John Elway is the size of an actual Rocky Mountain I do. I think like if he were filling out a form. He has a very specific form of body dysmorphia. Yeah. I'm going to pull out a very deep cut here, but have any of you ever read to the very end of the CS Lewis Chronicle Narnia series? Yes. For a long time ago. Okay. Do you remember the non-Aslan lion, the second lion?

Vaguely. There's this, there's the second lion who shows up at the last battle who's not Aslan, and all this lion does is, run around and be like, I'm a lion, like Aslan, did you know? And he's like visibly smaller and not as glorious as Aslan. But he's like, hey, yeah, me and Aslan, him and me, us lions. Anyway, John Elway. Yeah. John Elway on Jeopardy under the category Mountains for 800. It would be...

Us mountains. Yeah. It would be the tallest mountain in Colorado. And he would be like, who is me? Who is John Elway? Who is John Elway? Who is any of us really, John? Yeah.

Hey, John, we just need you to put your, put some personal information on here. Okay, gender megazord. Big. I identify by as large. I don't need a big and tall store. I do need a tall and tall store. Yeah, that's, yeah. Brock Osweiler is the second tallest mountain in America next to me.

This was. That's how he, that's how he thrives in altitude because he was so used to. walking around with his own elevated skull that's uh the the thing with justin herbert in this game i just made weird throws man not even like bad ones where you thought oh well he saw this and he instead did this no no he's like his two picks just i don't know donations right wanted to make it wanted to make it spicy wanted to make it interesting just threw it right to the defense not Not a game he will want to remember. A game so weird and bad that announcers during the game were saying,

yeah, today probably cost him some money, which, yeah, it's a very perverse way to look at things. None of our jokes, however, come close to the funniest real thing that happened associated with this game. And that's after the final whistle. when Herm Edwards when Herm Edwards at the at the midfield handshake says to Mario Cristobal good luck in the playoffs

I love this because if literally any other college football coach does this you say wow what a dick if Herm does it you just say oh he thinks he thinks he just knocked him out of like the divisional round to the wild card round he thinks Oregon's a wild card now

we have spoken about this before on this show about Herm Edwards getting to the end of the season and be like hey we got a buy week or no that we weren't joking we're nine and seven that really that really might have happened we have spoken this into existence and we're we're going to the sun bowl round of the playoffs where it will face a very exciting wake forest team do you think do you think hiram gets confused when they play a bowl game like if they were to go to um you know call it call it the belk bowl if they show up and they're like Why is there not a North Carolina team here?

I thought we were the road team. So, playoffs weird. I think what happens is after they play... We're playing the Panthers! Tell Ron Rivera hello. So I think what happens is they have like a minor bird protocol, right? And after, if they win their bowl game, they have to put Herm in a very dark room until it's time for, until it's time for them to practice for their season opener next year.

Because otherwise, he's just going to keep prepping and prepping for the next round of playoffs that are going to never come. But as long as they keep like a blanket over his head, they'll be like, sh, night time. Oh. Nighttime. They actually don't even tell him it's a bowl game. They're just like, yep, on to week 14, boss.

Yep. Here we go. And then we got a bunch of bi-weeks. Don't worry about it. Yep, this team lives in El Paso. That's why we're going there. They just make sure he has a lot of very soothing music, low lights, maybe a water feature in the room.

And they just let him sleep until August. They just play the Fox NFL theme real low. The injury theme, like the lullaby version of the injury theme. Yeah. So the other possibility is that Herm knows exactly how this all works. And he also knows that he can get away with being a dick because we'll just say, oh, Herm's confused. He didn't actually mean that.

I will say two things. I don't believe this is true. I desperately want it to be true. Right. Right. Good luck in the playoffs. so just so just herm sitting in like a very very like like herm sitting in a chair in a dark room with that theme music playing this this is now my like this is now my relaxation

but like a music box version of the fox injury theme yeah this is our next uh full cast theme request this is what i'm going to think about in meditation we need we need full we need fullcast theme injury mode. I think that's the jazz theme we started with. Okay. This is the injury mode. What an amazing time in the chronology of this show to find out what we have this many middle school band directors

out there in the audience. Every middle school band director I've ever known was an incredibly violent and angry person and I respect all of you. More reasons to consider Arizona State are presented every week by reality. This game in particular was a bounty of them not just for Herm Edwards saying good luck in the playoffs after the shake

a thing that actually happened but this that this is a six and five team and they're real happy about how things are going if they beat Arizona they'll be seven and five and everyone in Arizona State will say hell yes hell yes this was this was a really fun year how do you get there because I got a six and five team and I'm just confused right you could go to Arizona State and instead get six and five and think yeah Life's pretty good. Well, it's also great because they fired Todd Graham

who was essentially doing exactly this. And they're like, yes, this is much better. What are you going to do? We're going to have a visionary shake-up of the athletic department where we'll have eight sub-managers and one brand manager

named Herm Edwards who oversees the football aura of the athletic endeavor that we refer to as the Arizona State spirit, here symbolized by this devil flying on the wings of a giant tarantula hawk. Holy shit.

And you know what the results will be? The exact same thing we were doing! But now we might go to the red box bowl. That's right. That's right. It didn't exist before. You'll note. So all of this basically just equaled the same record. I refer you to the visual of the Sun Devil on a torrential a hawk. It's different now. Venture Capital!

We've talked about a lot of my favorite pet. Maven.com. Should we move to, now that we're 53 minutes, then we move to item three on our list? Yeah. Mine is very quick. So, Ohio State,

um, sorry if I'm not going to overreact that they only beat Penn State by 11. Like, If you force three fumbles and recover them all, and they're all, like, incredibly ill-timed for Ohio State, and you still never lead during that game, I'm not, like, really going to worry about it. I was curious, though, so I looked this up. Ohio State is currently leading the nation, scoring a little over 49 points game, points per game, not a good metric. But it is helpful for this.

On the year, Ohio State has one defensive touchdown, zero. kick or punt return touchdowns like watching this team you just watching this team it is not it is like considering how good they are on defense you just watch them go out and just do the thing they want to do nothing illustrated that to me more brutally than the first drive they had of the game where they go 91 yards and score a touchdown they chew up about five minutes of clock and they do it with 12 runs and one pass, which was an incompletion. They decided on the first drive on offense against a Penn State defense that's, you know, everybody's been talking about, they can really shut down the run or whatever.

They ran the ball 12 fucking times and moved 91 yards to start the game. That's great. I love how rude that is. It's insanely rude. They do whatever they please. They're insanely rude. Yeah. yeah also that's the best matchup they'll face because michigan is not made

michigan is not made to deal with that they are not you know the cruelest thing that you know the cruelest thing that's happened to michigan this week is that people have decided to work out the insanely unlikely um math journey by which michigan beats ohio state and also quote must be considered a playoff contender like people have found a way to take this Michigan team, which is playing much better. People, our own Alex Kershner did this. He asked this before Saturday was even over. If he could try this.

I know. I know, but he does not get enough credit for being neater than any of us. Well, in Alex's case, it's also like he wants to find every possible. He's like Dr. Strange. He needs to find every playoff permutation possible. But I think everyone else is just being rude and trying to add stakes, add pressure to Michigan. fans that they don't possibly need. No, no, no, tack it on there.

You beat Indiana. The sky's the limit. Does this segue into my report from Michigan, Indiana? I believe it does. Yeah, reported from Indiana, since I attended the... They were there for like six hours. I was in the state of Indiana for... Spencer, did you glimpse into the soul of Indiana? Did you understand what it's like out in those cornfields or whatever?

He does have an elevated tolerance for dairy. out in the coal mines of Indiana I did drive by Owensboro, Kentucky so yes I've seen the coal mines of Indiana they're all it's just Kentucky mining under the state line right

out in the meth mines of Indiana Spencer Hall is reporting on the political climate I understand nothing of Indiana I talked to I talk to many Indiana voters and they all agree ouch

help please don't make us play Michigan again in the best year in Indiana football history. I'm just going to say that by the way because the last time they won this many games was 1993. They will probably win more with a victory over Purdue, which is I hope all but certain because the most painful Indiana thing would be not beating this Purdue team. However, I will also say this, Indiana football, a few notes, their stadium. If Big Ten, if the Big Ten were like a high school, like if they were like Big Ten High, right? This sounds like the worst Disney style show on the Big Ten Network, right?

Big Ten High! Looks like fire in the sky. Yeah. There's Nebraska. He was really good as a freshman, but no one likes him as a senior. Right time. Big Ten High. The stadium in Indiana would be the stadium for Big Ten High.

It's like a high school stadium if the Big Ten made it. It's really nice. It's perfectly lovely. It's very, very teeny and small, which means you have a great vantage point to watch things like Shay Patterson throwing five TDs on your defense. Because Michigan, though Indiana has improved, is still a much, much better football team.

Also, they beat the crap out of Indiana's offense. Pretty hard for most of the game. that's why they only scored 14 points other things i understand about indiana i don't know it there was the sky was raining ice and you were losing by 20 when i left that seems to be a pretty accurate summary of the entire indiana football experience but hey met connor from homefield met a lot of people that turned out lolo finnarski from twitter among others uh lovely people lovely time uh weather straight from a soviet nightmare We heard from people who were there who were native to this part of the country that the weather was so bad that many Indianans did not come to this game, let alone our poor, delicate Georgia Magnolia blossoms, Spencer and Godfrey.

Yeah, Godfrey in that weather, by the way, looks like he's about to start telling you ominous things about the future of your family and the prologue to a spectral drama, right? That's good? No, it's not good. Like, I showed up, and it looked like Godfrey was like, I know you. No, you don't? Yeah, I'm death. Hi.

I'm going to show you how all your friends die. Yeah, he's got a big, all your friends are dead energy. In Indiana, it's tripled. He looks like the highway patrolman who has to come to your house and tell you your dad's dead and they can't find all the parts, and he's not going to be particularly sensitive about it. Godfrey gives you the first side quest with all. the exposition he really does have grim side quest energy right that's i'm the guy like

you're probably not leveled up enough for this one hey man vault 47 yeah it wasn't built right we're all sick anyway ryan you have there's a lot of money in mississippi you have provisioner of goods that's your that's your video game role right like when you roll up you're the guy who's like welcome to the market would you Where's for sale? Would you like some Highley and Mushrooms? I always thought Ryan was that dude in SimCity who tells you you're fucking everything up and everybody's mad

at you. I'm the deranged Transport Secretary, right? You'll regret this! You'll cut our funding. No, Spencer, you are the you are a wild animal attack in Red Dead 2 from nowhere.

That's so small. Out of nowhere. You're just like, you're just like, I was playing blackjack at a Panther attack. me. Red Dead 3 better have that, right? Like, hey, partner, would you like to play some domic... Spencer, I think you're legendary Moose.

Bear at Bar. Like, if you pulled up to it, and nobody mentioned anything. My favorite, I think the guy that I identified most with was the old prospector in Red Dead 2, the one that you run into in a bar and he's yelling to everybody, and it takes you

like, he can't win the fight, but it takes you 15 minutes to knock him out and other people are sitting there at the same time as you're doing it going, man, that old man can take a beaten. Why don't you put him down yet, man? And then the guy's like,

come get some out. I'm Iowa football. By the way, the Indiana Hoosiers, the only time they have finished ranked in my lifetime was 1988. And they were so, we're going to do it this year though

we're going to do it this year boys like eight wins eight regular season wins and a bull win and we can still live the dream of nine windiana it's still there and it's still possible and the last regular season game is Purdue

yeah okay I see no way that this could go horribly wrong yeah I hey we're choosing to invest in Indiana football how could we lose Uh-huh Let's see Should we skip ahead to a team that can lose

Which would be Arkansas Yes Please I think the only The only content anyone Ingested from this game Was Cochho after the game Saying it's like

Oh we don't celebrate beating Arkansas They ain't beat anybody in a long time And that's the last thing he had to say about Arkansas And then it came out that His players didn't even take the enormous somewhat hideous somewhat beautiful golden boot trophy off the field just left it there they just they just fucking civil conflicted arkansas this is the second this is second week in a row they've done that right they just yeah lSU is living clutter free this trophy does not

spark condo yeah cold condo say this trophy does not spark joy as a, as a rassling metaphor, Coacho took Arkansas's quote, quote unquote, best shot. Like, Arkansas hit him with, like, the late flurry of offense and Coacho just stood there. Yeah. Coach O ain't going to sell no offense by Arkansas. You go out to hit harder than that boy.

There was like, there was a story where the big show was facing a little guy, and the little guy was like, all right, I'm going to jump off the ropes and hit you. And Big Show's like, you can try it. And, uh, and dude tries it during the, match and just bounces off of him. She was like, I don't know what you expected me to do here. That's LSU in Arkansas.

For those of you who have made it this far end of this episode, I would like to reward you with, what I would argue is the funniest thing that happened this week in college football. It is that Miami, in the midst of losing to FIU, got throat slashed by a kicker after an extra point that was not particularly important to the proceedings. And not really an impressive extra point. either. Like, not like, not that there is one of those things, but yeah, it was a pretty routine extra point. He was like, yeah, Jack, the accountant over here, just filling out this form and just telling you, yeah. Throat slash, to make things worse, all of this was

happening at Marlins Park, which is where the Orange Bowl used to be. And here are the other team's FIU has beaten this year. New Hampshire, UMass, Charlotte, U-TEP, and Old Dominion. That's it. I think having a good time in there. This is how you know FIU was destined to win this game. They won the only stat battle that matters. Miami,

six penalties for 65 yards. FIU, 14 for 126. Disgraceful, Miami. Disgraceful. You know what? This is, this is, I'm sorry. Kicker, Florida International

kicker throat slashes the Miami Hurricanes at a basically home game is the best thing that has happened around the University of Miami football this year. There was also, after the game, it came out that an FIU player was saying around campus, like during practice that in the week, they were referring to the Keynes as the University of Coral Gables. They were saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Like, oh, wait, I'm sorry. I don't know if FIU existed like 20 years. ago. I don't know, but here we are. Let's make it worse. Let's make

it worse. Who's FIU's head coach? Well, it's Butch Davis. That's correct. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Which I forgot until way after this game. This is like, this is like Butch Davis's light retirement work is beating Miami. That's the second worst

insult that I can think of about this game is that it's, yeah, Butch Davis, the guy who was the architect of, you know, all of the recruiting that got them, the best two rosters maybe of any college football team ever. And now, 20 years later, that team is like his light, I need boat money work, right? But could Butch Davis's kicker have throat-slashed Miami without Mark Rick's players?

Wow. Good night, everybody. Hey, it gets worse, by the way. Oh, good. I'm back. Here's a stat from the bear on college game day. With the loss to FIU, Miami becomes the only team in the last 40 years to lose three. times as a 14-point favorite in a single season. Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech, and FIU.

That's hard to do. Like, this means you're not, you're, you're pretty bad, but everyone knows how good you could be if you weren't so bad. Yeah. I still don't think this is. It's really impressive, I've seen, I've seen worst loss in program history throwing around a couple times. Go back and look. Miami's got some stank losses in there. I don't have to go back that far to find one that I think is much much worse in the finale now that you say oh this is in Marlins Park where the Orange Bowl was

do you happen to recall the last game played in the Orange Bowl 48-0 in 2007 versus UVA you let Al-Gro pull you by the nose to the woodshed and give you a beating of a lifetime

and then demolish the woodshed I'll go grabbing you by the throat I'm the cocaine cowboy now And then, as the God damn it. As the final buzzer sounded on the last game in the history of the Orange Bowl, a big banner, unfurl,

saying, goodbye, Orange Bowl. Thanks for the memories. Something along those lines. Yeah, that to me is worse than you know, a kind of a real, a very disappointing and unfortunate. That might be worse, but this is definitely

funnier. It's bad. I mean, this is bottom, bottom three. Got to be. This is really, this, like, Yeah, I don't know, like, I agree maybe in terms of, like, Miami's season was basically already done, but it's very funny, man. I worry that we're missing the joy by rushing to rank this when we can just be marinated in a moment. Oh, it is delightful, especially because FIU's kicker got them some of those points by hitting bombs, Jack. How bad is it when you're like, I can't believe FIU's kicker is putting up 47-yarders on us?

you go ahead and throat slash after that extra point son it's especially good because what can Miami like if this happens to any other school literally any you can say like oh classless blah blah blah Miami can never say that no Miami can never be like that's really inappropriate how you acted at this football game the only team Miami can call classless is UNC There is one other one, by the way, which the gator flop, if you'll remember that. The gator flop, which was John Reeves needing 300 or so passing yards to break what was the passing record at the time in 1971. And it was 45-8, which was pretty bad. but remember that Florida players in order to get the ball back fell on the ground.

Like they all just fell on the ground on defense to get the ball back, let Miami score, and then give John Reeves the record. So that's like top five for Miami there in terms of absolutely heinous, hideous losses. On the plus side, if they want to make a coaching change, admittedly it'd be, you know, it's a quick, it'd be a quick plug to pull. But Greg Shiano remains available. Oh, really? I thought Rutgers had him locked up.

As of Sunday night at 1045 anyway. I was told he left the New England Patriots for the Rutgers job. Is that not the case? So it turns out, and this is like, all right, everybody get close. This is like advanced business. It's kidding. You'll never hear anyone else. I thought you'd tell somebody.

I thought this was like Campfire story. Like, ooh, spooky shiano. Rutler Um So it turns out If you're If you're trying to negotiate with somebody For a multi-million dollar position

And you basically let them know That there is no plan B That there is no competition They will just come at you hard And demand whatever they want Because you've told them You have all the leverage in this relationship Like if you threaten

To keep Nunzio Campanile I don't even think they know how to do that at this point. Like, I'm a little worried that at this point, Rutgers may just be like, well, we have no coach. We're going to kind of figure it out week by week as we go. We have some fun student promotions where we're going to let students coach quarter by quarter next year. And if any, we are, I think it's going to be kind of like when a, you know, when a college, when a football team is like, we don't have kickers. we don't have any kickers on the roster so we're doing an open tryout they're going to do that but for new jersey high school football coaches that be pretty good yeah that wouldn't be their worst idea

no twitch plays Rutgers twitch plays Rutgers football basically so what they offer Greg shenoh eight years of of of Rutgers employment but it was the the pot was not sweet enough for coach shiano's liking who wanted so much more and uh yeah they're done apparently this is not gonna not gonna happen i think this all jones it is i think this all fell apart due to one demand that nobody could meet which was to create a flattering sandwich name for gregg and they couldn't do one right they had the grease truck guy and they're like yeah we're gonna have to You have to make a sandwich after Coach Shiano here. And they're like, okay, I got it.

How about Bad Dick Gregg? What? Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you. It's two slices of wheat. And then like some really weird looking ham. Why are they calling Bad Dick Greg? No, it's just the name thing. It's what the guy is.

It's funny. It's a funny name. Because you got to say it's order the sandwich. It's got a half-cooked waffle on it. It's got an entire salami. It's got a load of Merce of mayonnaise on it Yeah Then you put

Then you put half an old flip phone on there What? Yeah, it's for the grunch You don't like a salad Greg's like could you name it Could you name it something Could you name it something You know more professional

Or flattering to me Okay I got one for you It's the puke dixia Oh I got you I got you Huge dick Greg why they keep calling and puke dick I love that

everything that crunches is a vegetable old seven Dick Shiano the sandwich you ready so now I was chewing on some glass because I needed my veggies so so now in our canon

I think everybody who lives in New Jersey is a goat yes It's amazing. I take sweet garbage and turn it into the milk of goat kindness.