Shutdown Fullcast - BIG NUDE SATURDAY - Week 3, Recapped

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

We didn't necessarily learn a lot in Week 3, but what we did was important: just because Iowa-Iowa State is El Assico doesn't mean several other games aren't also El Assico. Looking at you, Florida-Kentucky. And Pitt-Penn State. And Michigan State-Arizona State. BONUS: stay to the end and learn about the dumbest midgame crowd entertainment plan ever, courtesy of Indiana!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. The internet's only college football podcast. We're here to review the week that was, and that week included, by the way, everybody coming out to Rudyard's in Houston, come to our live show, brought to you by Banner Society, our home, our community, our culture. Our Shell Corporation. You know what's different about this show and the live show?

Hmm. We remembered to say Banner Society during this show, which I'm almost positive we didn't do in Houston. Bannersociety.com. One time. Banner Society. Your home, your community, your people on the internet for everything college football. If that sounds like an accusation, it absolutely is. But thank you to everybody who came out for the show.

Like, we've had very, very, very good crowd. everywhere we have went but I don't think anything can quite compare to a good and semi-liquered up semi-lickered up Houston crowd that was that was my favorite crowd so far yeah I mean maximum Texas yes additionally we really couldn't see anything from the stage so anything shouted out or yelled at us it was all a surprise we had no idea what was coming. It was good because we got not threatened per cent. Well, no, the Texas Tech thing was the threat. Yeah, you didn't. Did that Kentucky fan make it home okay? I had people demanding I rank UGK ahead of Outcast, which, sorry, I might not leave this room alive in Houston, but it's

just not going to happen. And then I had drunk Texas Tech girl wondering why we weren't talking about Texas Tech. Why aren't you talking about Texas Tech? And, and Somehow Ryan was like... I liked her. You'll fuck off. Ryan had... I didn't say I'd liked or disliked her. I said, I thought she might murder me. These things are not mutually exclusive.

But somehow Ryan had vacated the area for both of these. Because I'm smart. All of these things happened, of course, during Q&A, which you don't get to listen to if you weren't at the show. So maybe we're making it all up. Prove us wrong. Dark match. Probably.

Dark match. It did make me sad because we got the question about somebody asking what coaching staff should be in Russian 5-on-5 MMA, and I proposed Boston College, and then a night later, well, lost the kids. I mean, 24 points would be a lot in MMA, right? Is that true? I don't know if that's true. I mean, I feel like that means you won two and a half rounds. Okay.

I guess that's true. I don't know how that works with five on five but yeah I'm sure it's the same as boxing okay um Spencer can I get some podcast business podcast business what's that business podcast business what's that business it's a tiger and it's also business but that tiger is not lonely

just to be clear nope nope Mike is not lonely Um, we're not going to be lonely either, God damn it, because we're coming to Charlotte and Jacksonville. The two places you go for friendship and, uh, uh, organ theft, respectively. Um, fitness, Oregon theft is a form of fitness, if you think about it. It is. When you play civilization, remember, you can be the Mongols, the French, Americans, ancient Greeks or

or Duval or Duval I would love that I would love that civ patch you can just play as Duval Build

vape shop build vape shop build vape shop yeah so we're coming to Charlotte Friday I'm going to make sure I get these dates

right Friday October 4th I believe that one is and then we're coming to Jacksonville, Friday, November 1st, before the cocktail party. Do we have venues booked for either of these yet? No. So roam those cities on those dates until you find us. Yeah. Treat it like a, treat it like a GTA mission where you have to drive around at a certain time. We'll call you. How do we get your phone? Not important.

How'd the cocktail party end up in November? The way Halloween sits Like I think that's the like the calendar is just weird this year Yeah But yeah that's where we're going to be If you have recommendations or if you are affiliated with a venue This is literally how we ended up at the Ann Arbor Library Which is great

Email us at shutdown. Dotfulcast at Voxnately Jacksonville doesn't have a library They may You can have porn in one Actually, the Ann Arbor one kind of did, too. It had nine and a half weeks. No, no one will know where to send it.

Shutdown.com. Or find us on Reddit or DM one of us. Whatever. Don't DM me. Please don't DM Holly. We'll try to figure, we'll try to get tickets up for these. I don't know. When we do.

Nice. I'm not making any promises after this last one. Nope. Absolutely not. We got in. We got out. Spencer had a horrible rash a non-contagious rash

I want to emphasize so far a non-contagious rash everybody check your legs medically cleared I would really I think it would be a fitting tribute to this podcast overall ethos and existence if we became the focal point in a CDC cluster study

I do like that we called this your flu game on the mic at the show so as not to alarm anyone in attendance that it was actually your full body rash game full body full body rash game I think that's

thematically appropriate for this week of college football because it was not Blood Week just for everyone wanted to know unclear why

because it's not like that many ranked teams lost and the ones that did were not particularly highly ranked but I don't know maybe Kansas beating

Boston College early had a reprimed for this but I am willing antsy for blood but I am willing to consider this potentially a full body rash week.

I don't even know if it's full body. Partial body. Like, it was rash week in the sense that, like, what you could, a lot of what you could see, you were like, get that out. No, that's not good. Stop it. It's, you know what? I would also put this way, if things went super wrong for Kentucky, definitely a full body rash week.

Oh, man. That's a normal week. Yeah. Jason has a different term for this, which I think is preferable anyway. More generous, certainly. So our most excited colleague, is, are we, do we dare call him a colleague? Is that sort of promoting ourselves to his level? We're colleagues.

Yeah. Who are we talking about? Our devoted colleague Gus Johnson, with whom we are equally as prominent and known. there's fox is doing this thing big noon saturday is their name for the game they are putting on their flagship channel at noon it's a good idea you don't need to put that on at eight o'clock up against the bigger game on abc just punt punt to noon

that's what all that's what's happening in the noon games anyway is punting so um for whatever reason when gus johnson says big noon Saturday. It sounds like big nude Saturday. And Spencer and I were very excited about this basically all day Saturday. It sounds like you maybe had a little cold? If so, I hope

he keeps it going. I hope he feels better, but I hope it keeps it going. And I noticed lots of other people enjoyed it as well. So I'm hoping we can embrace big nude Saturday. This as sort of the foundational introductory big nude Saturday. Which, I mean, it fit

the day's events. There was everyone just sort of played like they weren't wearing clothes if you can picture what that means or like they were scrambling to put clothes on like like you had just walked in on them. You had just walked in on them naked they're like oh god ah geez this will never be the same will it

I don't know Iowa was playing like they were just proud to be luxuriating just wallowing around in it I will tell you that if you have ever been to a nude beach there are two ways people lay one demure legs close to each other the second way people lay is for all the glory of the lord to be seen in the human form from whence it came time to airate this bitch yeah iowa given how proud iowa was they had sunscreen in places you never thought sunscreen could or should go but they didn't need it because it rained all day that's that's nude in the rain yeah in aims in the filthy water you don't get more naked than punting in a key situation with a one point lead with i believe a minute and 30 seconds to go like it was the swaggiest thing you could possibly do

and it turns out it was the swaggiest thing they could possibly do because unlike the rest of us Iowa has played Iowa State every single year since the dawn of time. I don't correct me on that. Dawn of time is like 1903 with intermittent interruptions. Spencer's a creationist. Yeah. But the, because they knew that Iowa State would do something extremely Iowa Stateish. I.E. having, I believe, the gunner take out the returner with a solid hit.

I mean, a chest to chest obliteration of his own man. for reasons that neither Matt Campbell nor God can explain. Kirk Ferrence, won by punting. And then I sort of imagine after he did that, he just turned around like, see, any questions, right? Like, what have I been telling you all along? The gospel of the punt, you doubters. Give it to the other people and let them effort.

it will go badly for them because they are trying football's an amazing instructor of life don't don't do don't achieve just punt or if you're pit just

punt it directly into the directly into the goalpost it's kind of a pun can we talk about the dumb the dumb shit Pat Narduzzi said about that decision after the game I don't even think I saw it

Okay, so This is a game in which Late in Late in the game Like midway through the fourth quarter I want to say Maybe like eight minutes left I'm just guessing but whatever

Pit has the ball First and goal on the one Memory serves They go incomplete pass Quarterback keeper That gets stuffed for no game Incomplete pass Where if the quarterback had gotten

The ball out quicker probably should have been a touchdown. Fourth and goal on the one. They've made no progress. They're down seven points at this juncture. And they decide to attempt literally the shortest possible field goal. They miss this field goal, which is funny in and of itself. But after the game, and you know, they go on to lose.

And after the game, people say, you know, why did you decide to kick a field goal there on the one against, you know, against a team? you really hadn't seen a lot of offense and progress against. And Patner-Duze's answer was, well, you have to score twice to win the game at that point. And we're not playing for overtime. Like, that was the twisted fucking logic to take the far more conservative choice is that he was being ballsy and not playing for overtime by deciding to forego the chance at a touchdown. And look, even if you think that that's, there's some merit to that logic that, yes, you have to score twice. When you're down seven, one of them definitely has to be a touchdown and you're at the one.

So why wouldn't you try to make that the score? Why wouldn't you try to, or if you don't get it, try to get a safety. That also is a score. This is also. Do we know about two point conversions? He may not. Pit may not at this point. Yeah.

I mean, really, when also consider this. that in a game where you've only scored, what, 10 points, total, that entire game, you're treating the luxury of getting a TD like it's something one can pick up at the wah-wah, right? Like you can just, oh yeah, we can go down and do that. No, you can't. You're three feet away. And they couldn't. And true to form, they couldn't.

That's not something you're built to do. Pitt only got into that position through a circus catch. through some astonishing work. On fourth down, I believe, right? Yeah, yeah, a circus catch on fourth down. You should read the writing on the wall and understand your very proximity to the end zone, that's a low probability event to begin with.

It was like, I said this, I said this in the top, whatever, but the fascinating thing about Pitt is that when they do, when the super weapon fires, it's not actually a super weapon where you're like oh my god all the pieces came together and they all acted in concert and obliterated the like that is not true what happens is pit still fumbles all over itself gets its dick stuck in its own zipper shits its own pants but still win despite all those things still wins like there is no version where it's like oh man pit just moved up and down the field and played strong defense it didn't make mistakes and that's why they won it's like nope They still did all those things, but they accidentally set you on fire. The greatest part about this, Ryan, you really did have the best way of putting the Penn State Pit relationship, right? The idea of sitting, of getting, being sat next to a chatty person on an airplane?

Uh-huh. Terrible thing to be. Really funny to watch, though. Penn State fans hate this. It's great. great because, you know, from a, anybody who's not involved with this game on a personal level is like, we got to keep playing this rivalry. These games are close and they're intense and they matter, you know, blah, blah, blah. And they may be right, but every Penn State

fan on your timeline when this game is played on Saturday is like, please, I'll give you $50,000 of my own money to never play this rivalry again. They want nothing to do with it, and I don't blame them. It always sucks even when they win. Yeah, because Pitt puts everyone on the struggle bus, right? Like, hey, we can fly, guys. Nope. On board the struggle bus.

Like, that's what they make everybody. Like, you know, it's more, you know, the only thing that's, like, close to is frustrating is being Pitt in that situation, watching Narduzzi line up on fourth and one to kick. Being Penn State and being like, God, I can't believe I have to put up with this shit. And I can't believe this is why we're going to win because of that. I cannot believe we're barely beating these idiots. Yeah, like we only scored 17 points in this garbage. James Franklin tried very hard to keep hitting the game at the end of two.

James Franklin clock management? Like, all right, everybody. First of all, aluminum goes in the microwave. All right, yeah, sure. All right, three minutes. That should be enough. I don't know. I think that's Penn State supporting the rivalry in its own way.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's like Penn State selling Pitts moves. Like, oh, wow. I'm staggered. Oh, I can't think straight. I'm so disorienting.

What a punch. What a punch. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That four-yard gain, it has me staggered. James Franklin from about the four-minute. warning the four minute mark in a game the four minute warning should be a thing in a pen state game just for james franklin is around the clock doesn't even stop there's just like a siren you know how

there's a get back coach yeah right there should be an abduction coach who just takes james franklin away from his headset when the four minute mark happens james franklin he's good at getting a program moving in the right direction and recruiting and when it comes to time management he should be locked in an equipment locker and now keegan michael key comes out to coach the remainder of the game and just somebody there with like the chart right like okay yeah take a time out now take a time good good that would be a better replacement for james franklin once he decides so like once he starts hey let me cook let me cook go for a two-point conversion we're on defense i know chess it's not

speed chess speed chess boxing my knight uses his lasers that's not the thing Dan Mullen has a little bit of that too like a little bit of that like I'm going to make things happen like go for two you failed go for two again failed kick no you should go for two

fail no don't run it out like the end of that Kentucky game God I find figured out what the Florida experience, what the Florida side of this rivalry is, especially when Florida wins. You know in a tennis match when there's a really good rally and one player hits the tape and the ball bounces, like, slides over and just falls, and they win the point on that

bullshit. And they sort of raise their hands sheepishly to be like, yeah, sorry, that sucks, but also it counts and I'm not saying it doesn't. that's that's that's florida beating kentucky is just yeah yeah yeah all of that was bad and really took away every every good thing you did for no good reason but also it counts it's a w for me just so we're clear but sorry in this case it would be that plus i won the match and later discovered i had a torn ACL from the match right because florida lost they started

Yeah, that's a particularly unfortunate metaphor for this. On comparison, but hey, let's just keep going. It's like, hey, next man up, next metaphor up. We're just going to keep going because Kyle Trask had to finish the game after Fully paid Franks was, had a, his ankle dislocated during a collision at the line of scrimmage. And Kyle Trass did great. He's the backup.

Everyone loves him. Everyone always loves the backup, right? Dan Mullen has announced that both. Kyle Trask and Emery Jones will see time. I think that means that Kyle Trask will pass and Emery Jones will run. And we're all the way back to 2006 again. Woo! Retro!

Retro Gator football, y'all. Yeah. But we beat Kentucky, which that puts us on a one game win streak against Kentucky. Go Gators. I appreciate it, Jason, bringing us down memory lane for all the things that were real in our world last time Florida beat Kentucky. I just thought maybe Yeah, maybe people didn't remember what the world was like I was going to say that that would be

When oh, did 2017 the last time this happened? Yep, good math. Good job. Oh, hey. Thank you. I think, by the way, Uncle Cracker had not been invited to perform at Homecoming for Florida. That'd be Uncle Cracker who I believe has pled to a second degree

sexual offense in Florida. That's good. That's the guy we invited for a homecoming. Uncle Cracker. I'm going to go ahead and check. First of all, he's much older than you would think. Uncle Cracker? I'm putting him at 48. 45.

45? Okay. Uncle alone, that's 20 years. Cracker. Cracker is another 30. I'm not, oh yeah. He was indeed arrested in 2007 on a second degree sex. Fence charge, pled guilty to a lesser charge and sentenced to a year of probation.

Did it seem like this week, it was kind of... El Asico broke contained this week. We had the Iowa thing. We had El Asico itself was Maximum Elasico. We had Florida doing all that shit. We also had Arizona State as Spencer... What a magnificent football event. Nothing.

Just seas of nothing. Here are stats that Michigan State clearly beat Arizona State in during this game. Third down efficiency, they won 52% to 30%. Yards per play, they won 5.45 to 4.15. Major difference. Time of possession, they had over seven minutes more in this game. The degree to which Michigan State fuck this up, Because everybody wants to talk about the end.

And the end is a fuck-up in a lot of ways, on almost all sides. Include, you know, on Michigan State side, on the officiating side, on the kicker side, whatever. It's, they missed, this is what they did when they crossed midfield all day. I went through and I had this up if I fucked it up. Well, go find another college football podcast. After they crossed midfield, the offense basically just like slowed way down. They ran 30 plays for 106 yards. That's three and a half yards per play.

They had a fumble. And including that one at the end of the game, they had three missed field goals. So like, Arizona State's plan of like, yeah, let him get on our side. And that's when we have all the traps. Well, home alone, him basically, with their own offense. It was just terrible. Just terrible. It is the slack.

It is the slackeryest win probability chart I've ever seen because after they kick the field goal to go up 3-0, a dominating 3-0 lead. It's like a gentle EKG hanging somewhere around the like 30 to 45% mark, right? And then at the very end, Arizona State says, fine, I'll get up and do it. It goes like it just rockets to 100% in the last 3% of the graph. It's literally Herm Edwards being like, oh, you made me get out of my chair. Like they had, which by the way, I didn't really get to elaborate on this. But the way Arizona State won that game was how somebody who has never played a football game, but is very good at video games, wins that game, right?

They're like, oh, you could just run the quarterback around. You can just throw the ball down there and maybe sometimes the guy catches it, like on the last three plays or the last three plays. four plays I think three of them were just um we're just Arizona State's quarterback uh i believe jaden Daniels just him running like running right when everybody else went left right it was like bootleg uh oh look michigan state's just leaving that up and i'm going to run over here look wow football's not hard we could have done this the whole game and then then the part that's like the like topper the little cake topper for me on this gigantic wedding cake of michigan state

misery is this that they put 12 out there for the field goal and i don't think it was a mistake i think they were like field goals are very important we should put more men out there we need to maximize resources yeah block we need back up we need back up call in the national guard we're about to try a field goal like if any team in america all hands on deck i know like if any team in america thought that you could just have like a guest dj during the field goal jam infie michigan state right like yeah you get an extra person for those because they're super important we need 12 people out there because kickers aren't people there's 11 men and one boy well i don't see the problem 12 men on the field incorrect

like that's the best i mean michigan state just sitting there flailing and attempting to effort their way into football excellence and dying and falling into a bottomless pit that's this whole game while herm edwards is just like oh okay fine three minutes of work we'll put in three minutes of work on offense and win this whole thing a delight what's awesome is this is exactly how Michigan State prefers to win. Michigan State got Michigan stated. Like, go look how many times Mark D'Antonio has done this exact thing to others. Not so fun now, is it?

Also... It's also good because they lost this game last year because they blew... Michigan State blew a fourth quarter lead. Arizona State came back, scored 13 points in the last frame, including a game-winning field call at the end. lost 1613. So Michigan State had to be going in to being like, it's going to be different this year.

And, well, it was. So what's the one knock on Michigan State for Michigan fans do? Like, couldn't get into Michigan. Good not, like, just not quite there, right? And then what do they do in the last play of this game against Arizona State? The school that was the warning for parents who bought their way into USC, right? I don't want my kid to go to Arizona. State, Arizona State counted correctly on the last play of the game at Michigan State didn't.

Oh, I'm finished. Also on the list of El Alaskoing, we had K-State winning a game in which K-State botched like 19 different punts, something like that. And fumbled an interception return as well. Yeah, not exactly how we're used to seeing K-State win, but I think it's more entertaining than how we're used to seeing K-State win, so I'm in favor. We also saw Minnesota beat Georgia Southern, despite Georgia Southern in the final minutes running back,

I think a fumble and a field goal, both for touchdowns. Minnesota, of course, completing the, idiot's gauntlet as our entire Minnesota preview was Holly pointing out how stupid they are for scheduling these teams but how much we appreciate them doing so for entertainment and boy did that deliver definitely keep doing that Minnesota it was great for us I also like they lived up to Holly's prediction by having to win all these games in incredibly stupid fashion as well each one got more and more perilous it was fantastic you don't want to schedule one of these teams and they had three in a row.

I feel bad for them, but also I don't ever want them to stop doing this. It's like we said, hey, don't run with scissors. And PJ Fleck was like, fine, I got swords. Let's go!

But like stupid swords that you don't get any credit if you spear yourself with them. Yeah, larping swords. This motherfucker's running around with like fireplace pokers. Like, you dim shit, you impaled yourself on a fireplace poker.

I will laugh if, because right now Minnesota sits at 3 and O. That's a big. accomplishment for Minnesota football, right? Yeah. Not the most competitive program over the last 50 years, right? So it's a big deal for them being 3 and O. And I had a few people salty with me on Twitter when I suggested that this record was somewhat

fraudulent. I will laugh my ass off if I'm like, yeah, man, they just got this, like, weak, tricky part of their schedule. Now they're just going to get it handed to in the Big Ten. If they go to the Rose Bowl this year. Hold on. Here are their next four games. Okay. They play on the road at Purdue.

Then they host Illinois. Win. Then they host Nebraska. Win. And then they go two ruckers. Massive win. Like there is a not insubstantial chance that, especially not just because Purdue has been real up and down this year. Nebraska is capable of all things.

Illinois, we thought was maybe good. And they lost to Eastern Michigan. and ruckers is ruckers. Like, there is a combination of these are theoretically beatable opponents, and they are all opponents who are prone to dumb-ass snake bitery, that Minnesota seems to have a monopoly on being the snake right now. It's,

we're at- Minnesota, Minnesota's worked up an immunity to snake bites. Yeah, I would not be surprised if that was the thing between. That was part of a play. Danger man, Minnesota fears nothing. now if they go to the rose bowl they're going to face like james madison or something somehow they do a lot

of things football wise by the way which are very obviously smart things that other teams just don't do sometimes right like their two-minute drive for the final score against georgia southern it was nothing but five yard outs you know how many teams i saw mess up like a basic two-minute drill this weekend all of them you know who didn't minnesota because they were like five yard out the announcers they're like this genius how are they doing this five yard out oh it's what the defense gives up every time you go into prevent five yard out like watching kent kentucky and florida trying to like fail at this same thing was astonishing i'm like Minnesota got it right they just threw like nine five yard outs and boop oh hey look we're in the end zone if you had to take

minnesota or stanford to get to eight wins this season which Minnesota right Minnesota, please. Isn't that fucking, like, and to be clear, that is equally because Stanford is fucking rough right now. But that's a very weird thing that nobody would have thought a month ago. Like tons of injuries. Like, we will say that for the three Stanford fans who follow this podcast due to Ryan's one bold cycle. One bold cycle of Stanford fandom. all right if you're still listening yes you're very injured that has made you awful there are reasons

for that awfulness and most of them come down to injury because there is a plague of injuries cutting through stanford right now but man that first half against uh that first half against ucf was not competitive i mean that in terms of what was this one team doing on the field with the other team it's it sucks a little bit for ucf because Stanford is not going to be a good enough team this year for UCF to point to that and be like, see, that is, we, we proved it. We've done what you've asked and played a top team and beat them. Give us our, like, it's not going to work out this year for them. They have caught Stanford on, realistically, the one year in what, like the last 10, where Stanford, like, is a cusp bowl team it feels like right now.

pretty much yeah uh so like stanford you lost to usc about as badly as you did to ucf and then usc is a team that loses to b yu i mean so okay ucf's about as good as b yu that's what we learned there so you're probably not making the playoff again ucf but i mean i think you're you're aware of that by now in the week in the week by the way like man clay halton's timing is astonishing because in the week where your athletic director gets fired but you have managed to take your team right which is supposed to start oh and two you lose your starting quarterback but then find a replacement who's going to be as good or even better in keaton's slovis yeah this is the week when you thought oh man like clay hilton's going to do this it's going to save his job

he's just good this is this is all going like against script this is hilarious and then go to profo and get your ass handed to you by BYU. Perfect. Hold on, dude. Magnificent. Let's see. We also had Virginia, I think, won an El Asico grade game. Pretty weird, especially at the end, where one of like three different games this weekend in which ACC

officials just. kind of decided time didn't exist well they were masters of time i think it's more like if you you know you go back like a thousand years ago and you're like oh yeah yeah give me like four feet of bubble tape bubble gum and they're like oh well our our feet are you know this long right it's whatever the king that's how much we measure bubble tape by whatever the king's foot is also we have bubble tape our king is four years old so you're not getting very much bubble tape and you're like, shit, you know, because you're so hungry, and that's all there was to eat back then. That's how the ACC measures time to Virginia's advantage.

Every reference in the Bible to mana, that's actually bubble tape. It's like people who are always trying to assassinate young emperors. They wanted the bubble tape. Yeah, they were just pissed off. It's how Jesus turned all those loaves into more loaves. Oh, yeah, the loaves into Swedish fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all very happy, but also really agro from the sugar we digested.

Yeah, everyone got very sleepy around 8 o'clock because they'd eat nothing but sugar all day. So much gelatin. Oh, the ACC network really has done a number on the officiating, though, because I think now they're like, we got a network, y'all. It's all to show out. No, yeah, we can show out. Also, we got DVR. So if we mess up this ruling, we can just go back.

We just go back to it over. the ACC so through through week three of the Power 5 conferences the ACC has the worst winning percentage and the fewest wins in non-conference play they're

19 and 9 like and and what is their best what is their best win right now Clemson over Texas A&M okay other than that one or maybe in or and the second is unc beating south carolina i think the second is wake beating unc right sorry excuse me that was

not a conference game right that's his point that's their best non-conference win yes yeah yeah but is it like i'm confused by the semantics behind this because if neither of because i i would argue that this was played in some sort of negative zone where neither of them can count it where it's not a conference one for anybody. I think it's a perfect argument item because you can both argue for and against the ACC's quality with it. Sure.

So I think we should have as many of these as possible. I'm also looking forward to in November when you're like, you know, Gur, the standings, GER, and everyone just forgets about this game. Because that'll happen a lot. The Pac-12 is almost as bad. So far, the only Pac-12 teams that have not lost outside of the conference

are Arizona State, Utah, which Utah sneakily might actually be a good team, especially because they have that season opening win over a BYU team that has been pretty feisty. Cal and the two Washington schools. Cal still has a road game against Old Miss, and Washington still has to play the aforementioned BYU. So, like, it's very weird that these two conferences as a whole are quite similar to each other or have a lot of parallels it's just the one has

Clemson and the other one has I don't know insert team like I really Arizona State the other one has Utah it's the problem I think what you're saying is that about

120 years ago California should have tried to acquire the town of Clemson South Carolina correct yes the I think it also speaks to the inability of anything in college football

to do anything effectively in a group in any solid direction, right? The ACC has a great moment last year when their flagship program right now, Hans, Alabama, it's worst loss in well over 15 years and everyone else in the conference looks great and on the up and up.

And then in the first three weeks of the following season, absolutely plots is the pack 12 supposed to be down and instead like they all decide well let's go Stanford's like now I'm gonna pass on that I'm gonna pass on this whole agro pack 12 thing the SEC can't do anything in unison no one in the big 10 can either it's it like there is absolutely like when people go well are these conferences moving in any direction no it's just brownie in motion it's just random little moats of football all sort of cast is like into a great soup moving randomly.

I mean, at this point, the ACC has suffered losses to Kansas. Yeah. A Maryland team that just lost a temple, which we haven't even talked about as one of the stupider results of this week, the Citadel and a West Virginia team that had been shut out, or almost got shut out against Missouri. Like, are there good, are there quote-unquote good losses on here? sure Louisville, you know, was not going to beat Notre Dame, but held their own. Duke was never going to be in Alabama. Florida State, you know, we thought was going to be Boise State or we thought was, you know, not going to lose the way they did. Miami held their own against Florida, but Florida doesn't look great. So like, it's not, it's not a good, it's not a good time for the ACC right now. And maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe it's just a matter of like Clemson just has to worry about Clemson, but it is going to be very, we should all be prepared to be very tired

of talking about conference strength one more one more that's an annual thing yeah yeah one more note on that by the way case like you go well what about non-conference losses in the ACCC you're like well we do have some teams that are rebuilding

okay what do you want those rebuilding teams to do listen bare minimum okay there's things you can't do there's things you cannot do right? What's that thing? You can lose to bad teams in FBS. That's fine. That's fine. Okay. Like Boston College didn't do that. They lost to Kansas. Go check. Kansas, still an FBS program, right? You just can't lose to FCS teams. That's the big no-no. And that's a rule. A rule of logic, if you will. So you think that's worse. You think Georgia Tech. first year new coach new system losing to the Citadel in overtime

is worse than Boston College losing with like they're on what year like eight of Adazio losing badly getting doubled up at home by a Kansas team that

has not been relevant in FBS play in Power 5 play for you know going on eight years You think that one lot, the Georgia Tech loss is that much worse. Uh-huh, because the Citadel is like an academy school at the FCS level. The Citadel isn't a good FCS scene. Yeah, no.

But they're not, like, they're not really good. The last time the Citadel did this to anyone, the coach got fired the next morning. It was like in September, y'all, and it was Arkansas. So remember, remember when we go. yeah man Arkansas's crazy and people are like oh yeah college football it's nuts and crazy no man didn't they beat south carolina yeah they did yeah okay so don't do things that south carolina does no yeah don't do that Kansas might be a service academy for medical examiners you don't know I mean like getting blown out of home by Kansas that is insanely bad it's very bad but like

the Georgia tech one of a new thing and whatever like cool cool uh you're you're the one who decided to overhaul it you know that that's not a that's not a a something someone forced on you you you could have maintained the same system hired a younger guy who would care more about recruiting who'd care more about defense and all that um it it was on you to decide to completely tear everything down and go in a different direction so like all hilarity that happens within that zone is still just as hilarious it will be no adjustments made plus yeah the exact thing you gave up is what beat you yeah at home like you're not like you're going to the citadel to play although that would be funny uh but yeah at home you you you've lost at home to that

to the offense that you discarded so congr i guess what we're saying is congratulations to clemson on their playoff spot lock it in i mean yeah yeah like coming into the season you know you'd give them 70, 80, 90% probability of making the playoffs and that probably sounds low but now shit.

The biggest challenge remaining in the regular season for Clemson is to like go through the charade of this serious press conference. Oh, you know we prepare for every opponent the same way. Oh yeah, any team can jump. Yep, absolutely. Yeah, that pile. Oh, that pile

of laundry that's been there for days hasn't moved. Yeah, we're worried about it. We think it can beat us in football. That sounds like something Pitt would say sincerely. Need two scores to beat that pile of laundry. We just can't figure it out. We regret to inform me that Coach Narduzzi drowned in that pile of laundry. Just brick to football off the side of it

and was astounded when that didn't phase it. I would put up one. Just tried to blast the dirt off the side of it. One more thing, by the side of it. the way uh kansas is starting tackles i would wager that both them are well over 280 pounds right they're right and their left tackle yeah citadels 240 240 like there's there's yeah there's there is no shortage of shame okay but but was there a shot of a lonely georgia tech fan reading the newspaper at the end of the game no no because they're digital yeah he'd be on that that

Point Boston College. I love that. Honestly, I love that, dude. Because I love that dude. He was like, you know what? I said I was going to get out of the house. I said I wasn't coming back to the other day. And I'm goddamn sticking to it. God damn. Marie told me to get out.

Told me to get some fresh air. I'm going to stay out here. She and that terrible dog. I can sit inside. I'll be over here. Facking dog. I got a pot. myself right here.

They really talk like that. Are we playing the Chiefs? Jesus. The feckin. Feckin J. Hawks. Where the fact is Gans. Fuck off, Pat Mahomes. Yeah.

There are, like, to me, there are no shortage of... I'm kidding. If they were playing Pat Mahomes, there'd be a racial slur involved. the the there's no shortage by the way of like acceptably interesting things about this week like big dude saturday big new saturday big new saturday for me is like hey man everything was at least a b or a b plus storywise right like i got one exception graded a b plus from top to bottom you're doing great wait holly what is what is that exception i would like to turn your attention to the shutdown full cast reddit to user to user singy Ben

who went to Indiana, Ohio State on Saturday. A game that was not at all competitive. And I'm just, well, all contrary. Well, there was

some competition at half time. I'm going to refer now to Ben's notes. We had a TV timeout early in the first half. They then proceeded to bring out some folding tables and chairs into the end zone, maybe five to ten yards from the line of scrimmage,

and announced that we're about to have a shrimp cocktail eating contest in Bloomington, Indiana. They started this late and proceeded to have the contest abruptly and early with approximately 15 to 20 people, contestants, officials, cheerleaders, all running off with various chairs, tables, goblets of shrimp and the tablecloth in ten different directions. while the officials bark at them to clear out. So not even at halftime in the middle of the fucking game. This is one loathed idiots

in the athletics or marketing department, right? Idea, right? Like, we'll put out a shrimp cocktail. It's so Indiana, they'll be great. Let's just get it out there. Well, good. I think, so you know how, like, every bad Pact 12 and Big Ten team,

they're like, someday we're going to make it to the Rose Bowl. Someday. I think this is Indiana just facing facts. I'm like, someday we're going to make it to the Outback girl. There's a Bloomington Onion. Homefield Apparel, if you're listening, can you just go ahead and print the University of iodine poisoning shirts now? Thank you.

Oh, thank you, God. I just see them like, I just see somebody's like Ohio State rolling in it. What does your stomach even feel like? After just like wolfing down a loaf of shrimp in the end zone. It's just like a loaf of shrimp inside you. I just thought some lineman like pressed into.

Oh, I really need some mayo in there. This is all I can think about. Some lineman like blocking and landing in the end zone. He goes back and he's like, what's that smell? Like this Ohio State lineman just pulls out like a shrimp and he's like, well, I'll be switched. Delicious. Delicious. Thanks, buddy.

oh just put that in the panty oh wait sorry update sauce was optional but strongly encouraged also appeared to be in an off-brand solo cup directly in front of the goblets of shrimp sure wow everyone had one rather large sharing appetizer-sized goblet looked like six to seven contestants but maybe as many as ten for as bad as the infield camera work was since it was a two-minute burst you'd have to be like a german shepherd to get through one of those goblets in the theoretical two minutes they thought they had. Were the shrimp peeled? Do we know that? Oh, I'm going to ask Ben. Yeah, ask Ben if they were peeled. If not, I just want to know the person who was like, hell with it. Tail won't kill me.

It's got to be the whole shrimp got in. Oh, God, imagine the smell on that end of the field the next time it rains when it's just like shrimp tails. They're making stock down there in the end zone. I'm mostly like knowing that the way this came about was on Thursday. somebody in the IU marketing department was like, hey, did we figure out the like game we're going to play? Just have a TV time out. People are in the stadium and you already got their money.

Even if they leave, you already have their money. What if they just had a lot of shrimp they had to unload? What they did is they, whoever was responsible for this was like, ah, fuck. Ah, geez, yeah, I got that figured out. I just got to order into the grocery store real quick to get lunch for an unrelated reason. And he just picked whatever was on sale first.

and he was like yep solo cups and shrimp manager special shrimp great idea Lewis dragging a dragging a folding table and spilling shrimp

everywhere as the refs yell at you great idea I just thinking about these people slowly in the September heat of Indiana slowly building like an aspic or a galantine of shrimp inside their bodies and then going back into the stands

my only regret was that wasn't like crabs or something where they had to like break them apart with a hammer oh that would shower so and that would almost ensure like at least shrimp you can fit them into your mouth hole right in theory if you want to if you had like a crab situation then you would guarantee little bits of shell and flesh just kind of scattered all over for you know whoever to roll around in and ohio state was going to have that end zone for one quarter so you know that somebody would have touched it I just want to say the most Indiana thing possible would be if Indiana's home field became Red Lobster Stadium. Oh, it is in the shrimp season.

Excuse me. Where are my manners? I must have left them on the field in Bloomington. endless shrimp is undefeated, though, and that can't have anything to do with Indiana football.