Shutdown Fullcast - BLOOD WEEK II - Week 7 Reviewed

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK BLOOD WEEK Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown full cast. Oh my God. Oh, my God! We thought we were ready. We thought we were ready for Blood Week. We thought we were ready. No, no. This Blood Week.

Hey, hey, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Okay, all right. Imagine, imagine you are. No, no, no, no. You're in your... Come on, it's okay. It's okay. In your, you're in your hammock, Spencer.

Do you feel, do you feel the soft swing side to side? I do. You feel that? It's, it's, it's the perfect temperature outside. Where am I? Top. You love your tank top, okay. I do.

Jason, you're in the same hammock. Right next to me. In a, you're, you're, yep, you're in the same hammock. Somehow it fits you both, and it's super comfortable. Holly, you're nowhere near this scene. Both tank tops, so we can see Jason's new tattoos. Mm-hmm. Yep.

And it's just perfect. am i playing along here this feels like a trap no holly you're not you're not you're not involved in this because i wouldn't do that to you you're somewhere else entirely i don't want to that sounds great spencer and i'm matching tank tops are we a basketball team a wrestling tag team why what's going on uh no just just just you know just one of those quinky dinks just a good day with good friends then you reach down into your cooler where you've got beverages of your choice but all of a sudden look at that it's not a barks root beer it's not an ibc It's a spleen.

Barks sucks. Again, the bite is so hard. Barks is great. It doesn't matter. It's just, you open up the IBC and look, it's not root beer at all.

It's blood. All of its blood. It's blood weak guys. This sounds like my fantasy. Yeah, no, that's, that's delicious. I want a spleen. Yeah. Why come I'm not in the spleen hammock?

I'm still going with this. Okay, okay. Wait, now I want in. Holly, you're in your good improv partner always says yes, Ryan. I'm saying yes. The blood's awesome. Let's go. Spleen. Holly, you're hang gliding over a beautiful valley.

And you see rabbits galloping in front of you. You think, boy, they're beautiful. But it turns out they're also just spleens, just galloping along. Oh, thank you. Oh, legged spleens. Legged spleen. Rabbits bound. They don't gallop.

They're bound. You got a lot of fucking edits today, Jason. All right? It's my job. I'm not the one who bet on Notre Dame. and win against everything and went against everything the podcast stands for that was an investment

because like how Santa Spoken like a Notre Dame fan facing a bailout Like how Santa can only fly When we believe in him I'll cite the No that's Captain Hook The film's elf and Captain Hook

Yeah Notre Dame can only lose When we believe in it Wait now that's Wizards so I will say this that pit I want the resolution

in the hammock scene oh it's just it's blood week it was just a slow buildup to Blood Week but then I was getting so many edits and complaints that I couldn't lull everybody into a sense of calm I liked it

you know what thank you Holly so what happened was Spencer and I were nestled tightly snugly together in a hammock. And then you started bitching about the root beer selection, even though it was blood. With our bare arms pressed up against each other, and we went for a cold drink, but none were to be had,

so we drank warm, warm blood. And here comes a stampede of bunny rabbits as Holly went soaring overhead. This just sounds like... Oh, no, I'm nowhere near y'all. Yeah, this just sounds like nothing but gains, because blood and rabbit meat, I'm only going to get bigger.

Yeah. And then we'll need a bigger hammock. Then we'll need a bigger hammock. I might actually be describing an LSU tailgate now that I think about it. Can I just say that pit mega weapon 128.0? We need to make some modifications on the pit weapon. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I thought we had it right at 127.0.

Turns out that one blew up in the lab. This one was going just fine, and then there was some sort of weird power out. You've got the wrong perspective on this, okay? Is this retribution for making fun of SpaceX? Because I don't intend to stop making fun of SpaceX. You shouldn't have to. Absolutely not. All I'm saying is America's land built on free thought and freedom from repression, right?

I thought you were going to say freedom from thought. Sometimes that too. So nobody can tell you you have to believe in global warming. or evolution, or, you know, taxes. Nobody can tell you you have to believe. So why should we believe that Notre Dame won this game? It is my right as an American to say with conviction that you have to respect that Pitt won. And so I do.

Pitt beat Notre Dame. Can I tell you that I watch the Tennessee Auburn game today and for most of the game, including, I still am not sure that I believe, I still feel uncomfortable about the game. You don't have to. You can say Auburn won if you want. Oh, God, that feels so much better. Thank you. Great. That would be better for Ryan's finances. No, I needed Auburn to win by a decent amount.

So I'm happy saying that Auburn won but not by enough and Spencer still gets the chicken back. Oh, cool. Yeah, and by the way, I was right. I was right. This makes up for that time when I said that if y'all wore orange pants, you were going to lose to Ole Miss. You told me to shut the fuck up. And what did you do? We lost old mess

That was where that was great Yeah you're right It's funnier when bets go your way You're right It's much funnier when they go my way It's much funny Because Ryan has to buy me chicken Because I thought that Tennessee

Would beat Auburn Because Auburn is Auburn is sick I will say it again and again I'm still not sure that I accept It's just kidding Auburn esthermo The whole

The whole The whole bet was Tennessee will lose to Auburn by fewer than two touches downs. But then they fucked around in one. And why did that happen? Because this was motherfucking blood week. Blood

Week. Oh, man. So many losses. So many spectacular upsets. So much carnage. So much damage. But do you know what makes, do you know what really makes Blood Week great? Then it can always be worse. It could have been so much goddamn worse. How much? How could this have been worse?

Can I run? Can I run you through? I run you through the list real quick? Please. All right. USF needed three scoring drives in the last 12 minutes of their game against one and four Tulsa to win by one point. Minnesota was down six late in the third and missed the 32-yard field goal and that game stopped being interesting.

Baylor was inside the Texas 20 on their last drive, down six. UCF was down by 13 late in the third quarter to Memphis. Florida was down 21-3 to Vandy midway through the second quarter these are my two favorite I can't decide which one is better so I'm going to just go with one and then you can tell me

Northwestern needed a 99-yard touchdown drive with two minutes left to take Nebraska to overtime and win and yes, losing to Nebraska in 2018 counts as part of Blood Week but then this Scott Frost Day too

on Scott Frost. You know, happy Scott Frost Day, everybody, first of all. Sorry, I should have led with that. Scott Frost Day at Northwestern is kind of weird, but we're going with it. I mean, they wanted to have it. But here's my favorite almost blood game. UNC was up five. They had first and goal at the Virginia Tech won with six minutes to play. On that play, they fumbled in a comedic fashion. Virginia Tech got the ball back, converted third and 14 and a fourth nine to score and on their way to scoring the game-winning touchdown. I found that game to be profoundly upsetting. It was not great.

The Northwestern and the UNC, the Northwestern win and the Virginia Tech win are two of the most like, oh, y'all really wanted to be part of Blood Week, but you just didn't have the courage to see it through. How dare you? Also, Duke and Georgia Tech got into a huge fight. I spent most of this, most of Saturday at my niece. This is sixth birthday party at the Georgia Aquarium, whereby family-wide acclaim,

we decided not to watch the Tennessee Auburn game. And there were so many salty dads in Georgia Tech gear, who you could tell were fulfilling the second half of a day-long packed by... Like, I saw a lot of solo Georgia Tech dads with kids. And I hope those mothers were having a beautiful afternoon, wherever they were. Because, man, the dads were mad. I how many games had fights like before we just get to the upsets I saw at least three games that had fights how many games had coach fights yes I mean Florida bandy had a coach had a dang old coach fight that's just blood week man blood week just gets everybody all riled up you can't blame anybody for fighting on blood week no there was one and there was one in the old miss Arkansas game again my favorite game of the week didn't somebody get didn't somebody get tossed from that game on a kneel down play with 29 seconds to go.

Yeah. Somebody. Like in the middle of a kneel down. Somebody got booted on a kneel down play. Like, my favorite thing is in that game, Ole Miss scored to take the lead with like 30 seconds left or whatever, or whatever it was, got to stop whatever the case may have been. And everyone immediately said, uh-oh, a lot of time left.

Lock and still happened. And they were right. Yeah, because at that point, there was a game-killing interception. And the action still. wasn't over. After the game was over, someone got thrown out. That's amazing. You got thrown... You almost made it, dude.

You almost made it through the whole party. Well, it's been great and... Screw you! Meanwhile, Florida couldn't even make it to their reception without causing a scene. Jesus. No. No. We didn't even get to the vows. We were just like in the middle of the

processional. Just... Yeah! I'm going to take my pants off. Let's go! so hey speaking of vows so the setup to this there was a i believe it was in the early third quarter there was a kickoff return and a heinous it completely like there's no for anyone listening to this who thinks i might go i don't know about that hit that caused a whole brawl nope nope should have no reasonable assault charges file a completely illegal dirty hit deserved to be booted out um but it caused a bit of a fracas

when I think Derek Mason came out to check on the player he said something to Dan Mullen Mullen jawed back from the sidelines then they both really began getting into it and then Vandy as if they were not like already stay ready enough

for this game rolled out to midfield whole team on mass on mass whole bench right rolled out as if to begin a tussling and they were separate No, no, no, this is Vandy. It's a Donnybrook.

Oh, yeah, a Fracas, a Donnybrook. You want to go? They're not Canadian. But... Some of God, half of them probably are. But they rolled out. A brawl was avoided, but there was definitely some tension between long-time friends, Derek Mason, and Dan Mullen.

So at the end of the game, after Florida had, I don't know, overcome a 21-3 deficit to win the game. getting a key player i am yeah where was florida's defensive coordinator during this time was he helping was he one of mr rogers helpers what to be looked for in a crisis what do i always ask my children when they're doing something stupid are you helping the situation or are you making it worse you better get a trink you better get a train gun to stop daniel tiger from region yeah that's uh that's that's that's that's that's taw granth the defensive coordinator who once once the two sort of begun to get separated.

Todd Grantham then popped up from over Dan Mullen's shoulder and all his crimson glory going... Dick in the box. Yeah, going, hey, buddy! And got caught on TV saying fuck you like nine times to Derek Mason over and over again. As Jason pointed out on Twitter that day, making him, I think probably the first coach in at least the GIF era, to be caught on camera in a coach first fracas at two different schools.

Yes, but both with Vanderbilt. Both at Vanderbilt. Both at Vandy. Something about Vandy just... Bankers took his grandaddy's farm. I hate boats. That's not funny. Bankers should be killed.

Something about smart people really pisses off Todd Grantham. I can't put my finger on it. Man was meant to sink in the water. Boats are a lie. Hey, nerds! That's it. It's nerd rage, isn't it? It's just jock rage towards nerds.

Hey, Maff Guy! Vanderbilt's actually a pretty well-velde. bounce liberal art school. A lot of these people are just... Whatever math guy! Whatever nerd! What are you Transformers this? What? That's not...

He gets mad at Fannie from being nerds despite the fact that they're all football players. You know the apex of this is Ty Grant I'm taking the bandy job. He will. He'll just be mad at himself all the time. I hate me! But after the game,

we saw something a little bit different. Yeah, they embraced and had a tender conversation at midfield One of those things where you kind of you hug them and there's kind of like a rigid back pounding hug while you look like you're trying to say

you look like you're trying to say nice things through your teeth. Yeah, no, I mean I'm sure it was very tender. It probably went something you know, I mean it might have gone like this. Yeah, you know you've got an old friend at arm's length who you've just

beaten the daylights out of on national TV after popping up in an 18-point lead. Yeah. I don't know if I were Derek Mason, I would just say, Hey, Dan, great game. I'm sorry I said those things about your mom. She's a classy lady, and I know she's had a hard year. And I hope that the doctors were able to fix her face

so that it doesn't look like that so much. And I would probably say something like, Hey Derek I'm really sorry I said those things about your dog and how she was more attractive than any woman you were related to they're all fine women

Hey fuck you Derek I'm sure oh hey what Todd we're having a conversation right now Todd Todd Todd the adults are talking Todd Rod in hell Todd Todd Down a moment

crate crate Crate Crate Anyway Dan as I was saying Nashville's too cold anyway I'm sorry I said all that about your kids I think you've done a great, great job raising them

with the exception of the middle one who I think you might want to I mean I'm not one to say what another man's child might be Maybe he'll be funny Maybe he'll grow up funny No, that's okay and I really respect you a lot Commodore means toilet and French

Todd Todd just not even true Todd It's not true Anyway Dan you were saying something My good friend Dan I was my good friend Derek I just wanted to say also that I'm very sorry that I actually brought up the accurate

number of conference wins you've had I killed Jay Cutler And we're all we're all happy about that Todd And Dan I I apologize for saying That I wanted to snap your head off your body And shit down your neck I didn't mean that

That's fair though I didn't I didn't mean that I know you've I know you've lost some weight recently So I think I probably could snap you over my knee quite easily but I wouldn't do that, Dan. I'm not, that's not who I am. No, I wouldn't bring up that I've lost weight. You lost the game.

Jason, Isbell sucks. That's too far. That's too, that's too damn far. Todd. Crate. Todd. Crate. That's probably what it would go like.

Man, that was touching. That was really moving. I know. Thank you. I also, thanks to Coach Todd Grantham for agreeing to be on the full cast in that limited role. I really wanted to go, like, full-throated, but there are children down the hall. They do not need to be exposed to Todd Grantham right now. No, forever.

I hate everyone in this room. This is a Starbucks, sir. Get the fuck out of here. I think Todd Grantham's ever gotten, like, bowed up against a player's dad on a recruiting visit? Absolutely. Because, you know, I've always got those dads. You know, I've played a little. Yeah.

Did you, bitch? Just normal conversations going so wrong because he has no control. over a volume or intensity. That was a delight, by the way. Thank you. Enough about grown men threatening to stump up. The other is empty skull.

Yeah, and then 30 minutes later being like, you know, I really love you and respect you. Yeah, bless you. Yeah. I greatly enjoyed blood week and it's, I think, crowning achievement.

If I'm wrong about this being the crowning achievement, I'm sorry, Michigan. I just don't think beating up on this particular Wisconsin team or Alex Horniebrook in a big game. really matters all that much. The shocker, and it should wax on you after a couple of days.

Number 12 beating number 15 can't be the crowning achievement of Blood Week. No, that's fine. No. I mean, statistically, it was us, right? Yeah, by Vegas. Number one on my list in terms of just... Not that that mattered. Yes, but by...

I still don't necessarily believe or feel good about it any way. But if I get a 13 beating a 2, especially when the 2 was number 2 last year, when they haven't really had to sweat at all facing anyone this year? How did you know last year when they were ranked number two, Spencer? Well, they ended up losing a national title game. That's weird. It's weird.

They stayed number two. But were there like lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of Georgia fans in the house when that happened? Didn't they lose their own conference before they? There were. Was that exactly the same story on Saturday in Blood Week? Were there like, oh, estimated 20,000 Georgia fans in Death Valley to watch that happen? I gotta say I was surprised because I thought Georgia was going to wait

until November 3rd well in the thick of the playoff picture and then trip over their own dicks against Kentucky and they sprung it on me early you can do it no reason you can't get another one in let's play 36 I just thought that they were I was hoping that they were going to be at a bit loftier

perch before taking this particular once you get to number two why wait underachieving since B school whoa go dogs Listen, last year, their championships hopes ended because they had to face somebody who wasn't the starting quarterback for Alabama, and this year the same thing.

You know, sometimes Alabama uncorks uncorks a fresh vintage of just bottled to a table on your houses. Sometimes you let Joe Burroughs scramble for half the goddamn football fit.

I'm sorry. Jays, that I thought your son played. He's always had wheels. It was like, no, it was beautiful. It was a great day for the Kirk family. It was like watching... I don't know why it's surprising. He's incredibly fast.

I don't know why it's... I don't know why it's a shocker who's fast in George's healthy fans. That was... Man, that's the first time I've ever said sneakily athletic, and I didn't mean it is sarcasm or code. Hey, but... But at least Jake Fromm completed five passes in the first half. Don't ask how many.

Don't ask how many. Don't ask. how many he threw, just as soon as how both teams approached this game with the exact same game plan. It's just like, we're going to run. Then we're going to run. Then we're going to run. Then we're going to run. Then it's fourth down. What are we going to do? LSU. We're going to run. Georgia.

We're going to have our super skinny kicker who's wearing Rex specs run. And we're going to just point him directly at All-American Cornerback and his All-American Cornerback friend. And it's going to work. twice can i tell you there are so many absolutely perfect like coach o lsut team moments in here so many they did convert so many fourth downs all right and they converted four for four right

four baby not like like not quite like not quite less miles but dang close on that right right they went they went they went vo vo vo vo all right all right all right was that joe borough run 59 59 Yards. And listen, I will say this. I will say this for our incredible Jason Kirk Visaged son of Ohio and Louisiana. In the course of that run, he never once looked astonished that it like, you know, you never caught him looking back like, well, here we go. Like, he looked like he'd been there a thousand times. Like to have this run. Or he blacked out four yards in and didn't realize what was going. But he was so cool about it.

Yeah. He was so cool about it. It's just good, it's just mainly good jeans. Also, he wears jeans on the field. Good jeans, good breeding, and good... He's from Ohio, he wears jeans on the field. And clean living. Obviously, the most important borough takeaway is LSU's now 4-0 in games in which my son completes 50% or fewer of his passes.

Yeah, I saw it like at the end of the game and he was like, he was hovering, right? He was like, right around 50%. I was like, freeze it. Miss your next pass if you have to. You call it inefficiency. I call it extreme tithing. He ran for 59 yards on a single plate. Yes, like he owned it.

But LSU, the all run, like the LSU smash offense, which is, I'm sure that's what the playbook says. LSU smash, Big Monster. The playbook says that way. And when you get to the end of the field, you just turn the playbook upside down. Some teams have hidden yardage, and LSU's had games like that, certainly this year, where you look up like, how'd they win? They gain 280 yards. I think LSU, what they have right now is, like, hidden pass attempts.

Because you watch them, and it's like they're doing the same damn crunch, crunch, crunch thing every play. And you look up, there were 30 pass attempts, and you missed half of them. I don't remember any of those. also i i know that i know that people thought and i'm kind of on the fence about this you see people um even major mainstream reporters going hey this running backs average an eight yards of carry why don't you give them the ball more and i go well if you give them the ball more that's probably going to go down right like it'll go down substantially if it's super predictable at the same time yeah we also had major reporters saying is it time to consider that georgia might not

not be elite. That was today. Yeah. I mean... I'll put it this way. Clyde Edwards O'Lear. He ran for $145 on him. Nick Brosep put on...

They ran for $275 on Georgia, y'all. That's not... Like, can I say this with all seriousness? Because it feels really, really weird. Kentucky's going to run on him. I'm not saying they're going to win. Now you've jinxed it. Now you've...

jinxed it. No, this is math. Now, now they go into the Kentucky game, Matt. No, maybe they won't be. No, I don't think I'm getting on. It's like November 3rd. They got a while. Yeah, they got pushed on. They got wobbled by a team that Florida pushed around. Does that make it a little clearer to you where Georgia might actually be? I don't know, man. I think everybody in the SEC sucks is my way to take away. The cocktail party is going to be a completely new kind of stupid. Yeah, that's a fair. That's a fair.

this is the most the rubber chickens Twitter account of the SEC butt rankings. This is the most SEC butt ranking season I can recall because like Bama floats above it all whereas everyone else is just huge big

circular morass of transitive slop. A&M you're kind of exempt I think but everyone else. Are they? Are they? No not for long. The team that almost beat Clemson and then gave Bama its best game all

year and barely beat Arkansas that one they're they're going to have key word beat listen listen I think we're operating on two different standards here you're talking about is this team great or not I'm talking about is this team that's by your by your standards then Florida is not SECS are you comfortable with that Jason's point we are talking about awarding style points to a team that's coached by Jimbo I got to say with Jason on Yeah. Can I also point out this, by the way, you got that much money, you got style. You can pay somebody to figure out. That's a hell of a bell cat. Yeah. I disagree with Spencer, though, that this was the most, oh my God, all of the blood game of Blood Week. By far, especially in terms of how it happened. It wasn't like they, no, it wasn't, it wasn't like they caught a couple of lucky breaks. No, LSU, LSU just knocked the teeth out. But I, but I don't think this was the most like what the shit just happened. No, I think. I think the bloodiest game of Blood Week was Iowa State 30

West Virginia 14 It is, I don't Can we, I don't want to overstate this And I don't think I can Iowa State reduced them to a nullity West Virginia ran like nine plays Yeah, no, West Virginia was averaging In like around 62, 60 plays

Somewhere in there total for the year Yeah They ran 42 plays It was deeply unnerving That was all they got And seven of them were sacks Yeah. Do you know how hard it is to get seven sacks

With the other team only runs 42 plays? Buying bulk? That's a sack on every six plays. Yeah. God. Yeah, and on top of that, like, and this was,

if you want to know the team that did the, like, perfect game plan, executed it perfectly, and did not stop the entire game, did not waver as an underdog, right?

Malcolm Gladwell, kiss my ass. This is the proper way to underdog it. Iowa State had 25 first downs and held the ball for almost 40 minutes. I mean, they did not let West Virginia participate in this game. They had 500 yards of offense. Not to brag on my own predictive abilities, but I did tell you that clean water would be Dana's undoing.

James got good water. Spencer laughed at both of us when we said that Iowa State can win this game. He said we were wrong. I did. I did. Did I put a bet on it? No, you didn't. Maybe next time you should do that. we got overly let down by the aims thing and over the past two years guess what we found every it was real all along yeah it comes around just no that's the the regularity of this meme is

astonishing like it comes around just often enough for people who want to prop it up to be like see see yeah it is also by the way usually games like this happen when there are turnovers no No. Nope. Each team have one. West Virginia had one offensive touchdown in this game. The other one was a blocked field goal that they ran back. That's their other, that's how they got to 14.

That offensive touchdown. This is absolutely maddening to watch. That offensive touchdown was in the first quarter. And after that, they never crossed their own 40 for the rest of the game. Not once. It was like watching this team, like not being pressed to death under a pile of stones, but like just kind of. covered with a giant beanbag chair that covered the entire team.

It's not that heavy, but you're not going anywhere. Go back and watch Daniel Holgerson's face on the sidelines during this game, and you know what he would have looked like in marriage counseling. That absolutely would have been the face he was making. I'm not even getting on the field. She's got points. I don't. I think with this game, it's easy to look at it.

Like, okay, West Virginia was kind of just, they kind of just drift-witted their way into the top 10. Like, we all knew this wasn't like a playoff team. Sure, they could win 10 games. They still could, but I don't know, to have a blood week, you need a couple teams like this. I mean, last year we had Washington State going down, and that was like, oh, my God, what a shocker, you know? Like, at the end of the year, we're going to look at this. Yeah, but they only had 152 offensive yards. Like, this was an extremely un-West.

If you told me West Virginia had 400 yards but threw a bunch of picks or had a bunch of fumbles and that's how they lost, I'd 100% believe you. To only get 152 yards in one touchdown from the offense, my God. I mean, I would have expected maybe you lose a shootout, right? Sure. Yeah, I would have bought that too. They didn't let West Virginia hold a gun. That's how this, like, there's just, no, no, you don't get to participate. That's what I was working my way around to.

It wasn't the name West Virginia. that lost it was how this west virginia team which to this to this point had never trailed at any point in any game like this is the most cruisingest team in the country outside of alabama they found themselves thrown in a damn cellar with at spencer said you know a team that had just been through crap had to play iowa for crying out loud yeah no yeah iowa states iowa states already had a hard bad year all of a sudden here comes west virginia And you're like, hey, I'm the cool kid. I'm going to take your money.

I'm going to take your lunch money. And Iowa State's like, Not today, motherfucker. Iowa State went all Bobby Hill. Iowa State, yeah. That's my purse. I don't know you. Like the boggle championship where Peggy turns out acquaintanceship.

Yeah. It's an underrated Peggy scene. Yeah, no, this was shocking. How much blood did it? we get from Oregon, Washington? How, how, what contribution level are we looking at there? A fair bit. I think it's not like, holy shit, I can't believe that happened.

But it's a nice, a nice, a nice gush of warm, hateful blood. Yeah. Like, you know, this was only a three-point spread. It was a rivalry game. Washington was a little banged up. Washington had some weird pack 12 travel thing that I think we talked about about eight times over the course of the last nine months. Maybe the Pact 12 could have listened to our podcast and tune that schedule up a little bit because we pointed this out for you.

But, whoops, there goes your best playoff hope. Anyway, I mean, I don't think this was a shocker. On the field, the only thing was Oregon plays like Washington now. Like, Washington, you're a little, you know, you're a little, we shut down the spread teams because we're big and tough, you know, trying to be like Stanford North. Well, guess what? Oregon just co-opted that brand. Yeah, I don't... Yell about it. Nobody's going to hear you.

Yeah, I don't really think... This wasn't too shocking. It does sort of, again, set back Washington's endless dominance protocol that seemed to be in place, particularly against Oregon. I think most people expected that rivalry to slide the other way for a real long time.

And as long as Oregon's as stout up front, offensively as they have been, and as long as Justin Herbert can throw a ball somewhere in the neighborhood of 98 miles an hour directly into the hands of a streaking receiver because Justin Herbert can wing it like in terms of dudes who dudes what throw real real real real

hard and on a line he can put it 35 yards on a rope it's terrifying and awesome so I don't think there's that much blood I think there is no surprise to this one there's no surprise when you hear it it's just that it's appalling that it keeps happening

right a danger to the public safety a menace to all that is orderly uh and the antidote to death itself that you realize why death is so natural and probably shouldn't ever not exist michigan state football michigan state why how sure i mean when you say uh mark dantonio was a two touchdown underdog to a top 10 team you say well condolences to that top 10 team so surely Michigan State will look overpowering and doing it no they're going to look awful they'll look bad no you'll wonder why they're doing anything they're doing surely a dominant run game will hold them down while you use the defense to cuddle them and to submit no no thank you

nope no that's not going to happen either because Brian Lerke what are you going to do I'm going to take pardon me trash ass Ryan Lerke. Just another Michigan State quarterback who you're like, what is that? Why? Why? How? Michigan State is like if McGiver only made bombs, even though he didn't lead them.

No, they're quarterback. I think it's like if, if McGiver only had bombs to work with. Like, McGiver, you got to fix this refrigerator. I just got the, I got just the thing. Michigan State is golden nine with remote mines only. you just got to turn the corner and hope they run into it first. Which actually makes perfect sense since they used to exit, since they have executed successfully,

that defense where you just lie down in the end zone. Yeah, they've done it. Yeah, it does Brian Lerke, does he throw for, does he throw 52 times in this game? Yeah. So surely he's completed the meta, rapid, efficient sort of pace. No, he only had 24 completions. And he only averaged five yards of carry.

It was just like popcorn, just picking handfuls of popcorn and throwing them against the wall and seeing it what sticks. Popped or unpopped popcorn. This is slapper zone. Yeah. Did they hold Penn State to a, you know, like a minimal amount of yardage on the ground? No, man, Penn State still hit 200 yards rushing. You know, but you know you're in trouble when Michigan State's like, I have this new, a Montiado, I think you'll enjoy if you'll just step in right here, please. What?

Oh, no! How did I vote for this again? Mark D'Antonio roamed you. What is it with you people in casks? Yeah, yeah. I mean, Michigan State, all you need to know is this. They had 25 first downs, but they were only 5 for 20 on third down. Jesus.

Just stop. Stop making numbers. Don't print box scores from Michigan State games. Is Michigan State the thing where, like, you know, based on their physics, bumblebee shouldn't be able to. the fly. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That means like

Kurt Cameron is going to come up to you and say this is proof of creation. Michigan State. Michigan State is the checkmate. And it's true. Brian Lerke can't peel a banana. I mean, I've seen him play Notre Dame, so. I don't understand it. I don't really want to understand it,

okay? You know, when they're like, well, man, how did a woolly mammoth ever exist? It was so massive. It just does. It just does. And you know what? Michigan State is Megalodon. Yeah, and like Megalodon, you think he's extinct. Bam!

Back from the dead in like seven years. He just pooped on your house. Yeah, that's exactly, that's exactly what Michigan, like, because I thought, oh man, I can just ride off Michigan State, right? Because, you know, they're kind of, they're kind of underwhelming this year, right?

No, party sort of... Now Penn State has a transit of loss to Herm Edwards. God is generous. Why don't you try that on, James Franklin? How does it feel? Ooh, it feels bad, doesn't it? Because I would have loved to watch his face,

his facial transmogrification. No, no, I didn't even realize what was happening until I checked Twitter late. I was like, oh, no. I saw this for the first time in the box scores. No, you go, what, Northwestern. Sorry, Northwestern beat you. 2919.

If it's any consolation, it's a very good school. It's an excellent school, just ask. So I thought it was over for Michigan State. But no! hand from the morgue door right like let's just put this one in the cooler it's back it's back and it wants bush ultra can i jump to the uh the blood week game that i think had the funniest ending yes okay so Miami struggling with Virginia all night but Virginia has not put a ton of points on the board and Miami scores a touchdown um

with like three minutes left or so to cut it to a three-point game. There's also roughing the kicker on their point-after attempt, which they make. So they have the ball up by the 50. They go for an onside kick. They're unsuccessful, and they actually allow Virginia to run it back quite a bit. But they still have timeouts. There's still time left in the game. And again, it's only a three-point game.

So on third and three, around the 20-yard line, they get a stop. you only gets a one-yard game until a Miami player comes in from nowhere and just blindsides the fuck out of some unsuspecting who for the stupidest fucking fucking personal foul you'll ever see

to allow the drive to continue. But it's still not over because UVA ends up with about 30 seconds left and the clock stop. kicking a field goal to now go up by six. Wrong. There's roughing the kicker on this as well,

which the refs initially are like, okay, that'll be in force on the kickoff until Bronco Mendenhall's like, hmm, pretty sure that's an automatic first down, and we can just kneel and end the game, which they do, and they cut to Mark Rick, who just like, in his perfect, most balanced,

I walk with the Lord and no man can hurt me way, just like quietly takes off his head headset and starts walking off the field stone faced it was amazing Miami fucked up two opportunities to get the ball back and at least have some prayer of beating UVA listen I don't care what conference you're playing in now I don't care if you used to be I don't care what the Kane's history is nobody pulls Bronco Mendon Hall's own dirty tricks on you can't you can't dirty hit the man who made b yu the king of jeep shot football you cannot i don't know i think i think i think miami was just dancing with the one that brought a man like if if the canes can't win with stupid penalties then they're they got to lose the stupid

penalties i think i think they should give those kids the the penalty chalice yeah also florida fans on this podcast? How did y'all let this kid get away? I don't know, but we got... Sounds like the second coming of Matt Elam. Well, we have Voshawn Joseph. Oh, I like him a lot. If you did not see Voshaun Joseph, for no reason whatsoever at the end of a play, decided to take a running back in his grasp.

And I think it was a strike suplex that he pulled on him. It was sudden and snappy, too. Like, it looked like he had gone through, you know, Rick Flair's training camp. The only thing that could have made that bad. better as if it was a running back on his own team. He would have done it. I know. The best part is Vosha...

Until then, he will never pass Maddie alone. No. But Vosha and Joseph did that, and then he got kicked out later when the entire team was assessed an unsportsman-like penalty. So he had to go because he had two. That's still not as good

as getting kicked out on a kneel-down play. Or costing your team the game on an insanely stupid hit in Charlottesville where, believe me, the universe wants you. to win that game. Life's funny. You have to try very hard

to lose a game against UVA ever. And yet, they did it. I'm so proud of both Florida and Miami because if you're committing on sportsman light penalties, that's greatness.

That's how I know you're great. My favorite thing about this Miami game was all the Georgia fans who were like, oh, see, yeah, this is Mark Rick's. He's pulling a Mark Rick's. Typical Mark Rick's game. It's like, did you not?

your team was an eight-point favorite and lost by 20 Kirby Smart is the name of the coach who did that did you not yeah well he's not Mark Rick so it can't be a Mark Rick game it's easy do we not remember how this this this calendar year started did you cough up a 10 to nothing lead was it Mark Rick to blame for that I'm not listen buddy I went to Georgia I got an excellent verbal score on SAT don't ask me about my math score i mean i realize i'm i'm a fan of the highest ranked division one football team in the state of georgia so i'm trying not to condescend but it was no you're not like we we all just get our joys where we can i guess short memories short memories can we can we get an update from planconia by the way we smash the shit out of somebody else man gardener webb get these bums out of here

and i i say that not in a sense of get us better competition no keep them coming bring us more Bums. Bring us the worst garbage team you can find. Get these bums out of here because they're more in line. And we want to move through the queue. Too many bums.

The bum supply store just down the street, got a new shipment in, and we will take them all. The bum supply store called and they got more bums. Can I jump back all the way to Thursday real briefly because we got a good reader submission that I'd like to bring up?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a weird game. So Texas Tech beat team. TCU, and therefore, Texas Tech is an okay, if not good team. And TCU, you're a bad team now. I'm sorry about that. But this was the second fewest points any Big 12 opponent has scored on Cliff Kingsbury's Texas Tech team. Spoiler, you're also the first, the time you only scored 10 on them in 2013.

But Chase emailed us to remind me, because I didn't watch this game, that at one point, while they were trailing, Texas Tech had a first and 10 on the TCU. a false start and offensive pass interference and a sack later they wound up back at the 36 and punting because it was fourth and 33 that's impressive to go from first and 10 on the 13 to punting hard to do also they showed during the broadcast they showed gary patterson's pool uh in fort worth it's within walking distance of the office you can see the stadium from his backyard To be clear, a swimming pool, not just a body of water that surrounds Gary Patterson at all times. No, that's different in real. But they showed his pool and the lights in both the hot tub and the pool, they're purple.

Has Gary Patterson been naked in that hot tub? Oh, yeah. It's a hot tub. That's in your brain now. It'll be there forever. Somehow both naked and simultaneously wearing one of those old-timey bathing suits with the straps all the way up? No, no, no, naked. You forget about that.

I don't want to give up. Sir, you're saying one of those that's like cut off in a specific location? Correct. The chap's version of that. Wow, that's the weirdest garment I've ever heard of. No, he was shirt cocking it. That's what he was doing. Just a tank top?

No pants. But changing the shirt every half of football. Yeah, that's shirt cocking. It's something that people at Burning Man do because Burning Man's awful. He gets in the pool with a black shirt and is like, oh, the swimming isn't working. So then he puts on his purple shirt, but still wearing no trunks. The Blood Week result I can tell you nothing about because they did not bother USC beat Colorado by 11. Anybody? Anything?

Yeah, nothing shocking there. I mean, USC was favored and they look like the better team. Yeah, also. Like Macintar makes some weird faces. Yeah. We'll still count it because it was a ranked team going down, undefeated team going down put. Something's kind of up with that, though,

because Montez looked a little, like they didn't throw downfield a lot, so I don't know if he's injured. Also, USC would just do this thing, like in case you go, man, USC's got things fixed. No, they don't. They would actually just throw in the ball downfield to taller guys. That was it. When they face somebody who can defend those taller guys,

they were right back to be in USC, okay? Because the announcers were thinking, oh, man, J.T. Daniels has turned this around. USC's back. Yeah, give it a week. I am glad that we've given up on ranking them for no reason. Yeah, that's good. Shit, are they ranked again after they beat Colorado? I was going to say give it time.

Yeah, they'll be back up. Texas top 10, USC top 15 for no reason. That's what we're about to get. I would also really enjoy pointing this out that did, who got old man this week? Who ran into one of college football's oldest and most cursed events? Auburn. Oklahoma State. Oklahoma State.

Yeah, they're four and three. They're one and three of the Big 12 at this point, because they got old manned. They got beaten 3112 by Bill Snyder and the Kansas State Wildcats. God, what an old man scored, too. Maybe Bill Snyder can take the Oklahoma State job when he gets fired from Kansas State. This is a score from before we had the forward pass, and the ball was made out of old beef hunks. Yeah, this is a Bill Snyder special, by the way. You get a point every time you can recite scripture correctly, all the way through.

That's how the rules used to be, and that's how we're playing now. Yeah, their leading rusher was Taylor Cornelius, Oklahoma State. That's their quarterback. That's the oldest name in the world. Taylor Cornelius! Taylor Cornelius lost in Expedition! Well, he's playing like a hundred... I just wish it was Cornelius, Taylor.

well that's how you know he's a potential georgia quarterback right taylor carnalius cornelius taylor oh do they need one you know they might no they have one he's on the bench they do have one he doesn't play much his position name is wildcat yeah i i enjoy by the way that george is definitely not going to have any sort of issues with a quarterback controversy this year nope not one definitely not one where your quarterback's averaging like five yards at the completion in big games. I mean, Spencer, be fair. Have you ever seen a Georgia game

where a quarterback comes in and half-time and turns things around? That sounds far-fished. You know, there's a qualifier you have to add to make that work. It has to be the other... Oh, okay. It has to be Bama.

Because, you know, Bama can just do that. They can just say, well, man, the mining business is getting kind of bad. Too cool. We're an internet company now. And half time. Speaking of Alabama, I like that at one point during Blood Week Saturday. The highest drama was like, to a slid kind of weird. Oh, no, we'll have to put on our national championship winning quarterback.

I know, it's like, oh, you know, everyone brings aside early. I'm like, oh, now all you have to do is beat Jalen hurts. Yeah, Jalen came in already with like, you know, a reception and a couple carries and a throw or two on the day. And like, I hadn't checked this in a week or two, but. you know, three times as many passing touchdowns as Rutgers on the year. And, yeah, just bring in, is he the most, like, most experienced and tested quarterback in the whole country? See if he can finish it out against Missou.

I think you can wrap it up against, you know, kind of a middling Big 12 team. He's got this. At this point, middling is good for a Big 12 team. I would, you mention Rutgers. I want to talk about. Nobody mentioned Rutgers. Technically, that was my fault. It was, he did.

Yeah. Counselor, check the right. I spoke the name. I watched this game with some friends who are a Ruckers fans. I know what I just said. I know what I just said. I watched the entire second half of this game with them. With who?

With friends of mine who went to and are fans of Ruckers. So like it's a real school? Yes. It's not a pyramid ski. I mean, I guess I shouldn't say that. But yeah. Huh. Yeah.

Things can be true. That's true. So let me, after having seen Nathan Peterman play in another NFL game today, I'll be it briefly. He lasted about a Peterman, you know, eight passes, two picks. Go balls. This was the line for Rutgers quarterback, Archer Sitkowski. Two for 16, for eight yards, no TDs, and four interceptions. Four.

So then he got benched. for Giovanni Resigno Giovanni Resigno But things got better Right Who went 0 for one with one pick Yeah

We um We Matt Brown One of the several Matt Browns On college football internet Looked up like the worst passing days In college football history Yeah

And Do you know the last team To complete two passes Will throwing at least 17 times In a game Kentucky Rutgers Rutgers

Oh Damn It was Rutgers In that game Against Michigan The last team to pass For fewer than 10 yards Despite throwing at least a dozen times

Also Rutgers I would They completed more passes to Maryland Than they did to Rutgers Like it's just insane And not even like Oh slightly more Like almost three times

Is many Yeah And then we followed this of Alice Kirchner did a post on how, like, this shit is happening every week. Like, Rutgers is somehow getting, like, they started as the saddest Power 5 in the country. And it's gotten worse. Like a week ago, they had a blackout against Illinois while getting their asses kicked by Illinois, which that sounds impossible. And they had like nine fans in the stands. And then they had this.

And they got killed by Kansas and Buffalo before that. If it's performance art on the futility of man, it's exquisite. No, I would point out the... Like, Rutgers keeps finding new floors, and I respect it. They do. They just, they, it's astonishing that they are basically... There's a crawl space under the crawl space. We'll find the moles that live on the moles. Hey, guys, this basement has a septic tank underneath it.

You go down like four crawl spaces and you got a stand space. I would point out that, uh, This is the remainder of their schedule. Does it matter? Does it matter the teams you're about to say? Just real quickly. Yeah, because it gets worse. It does.

Because when we say, I don't know, man, could it get worse? Yeah, dog, it could get worse. Rutgers plays Northwestern next week. Then they host Wisconsin. Then this is their finish. At Michigan, at Penn State. hosting Michigan State Yeah, this could be one of the worst football teams I've ever seen.

What if they just didn't? What if Yukon played Rutgers at the end of the year? What if they just didn't, yeah? What if Yukon and Rutgers met to decide who was 1.30th in FBS? God, think of that traveling trophy. It would just be a knife. It would be a knife, but with a good. guard so you couldn't use it on yourself.

Why? It's so dull. I'll be alive. It's for the battle for the golden confiscated shoelaces. I'll be alive so long at this rate. But yeah, this was to a point. I didn't just want to pile on the misery of Rutgers.

It feels good, though. But it wasn't the point. a weird stat that ESPN kind of made up in QBR, right? Guess who had a lower QBR than Artur on Saturday? That'd be Alex Hornybrook. I was going to guess Joe Burrow. No. It'd be weird if Joe Burrow said like the highest QBR of anyone who played Saturday. This is a little suspicious.

Yeah. How does this work? I don't know, but he's balling lying crazy on it. Alex Horniebrook somehow, I think Archer's was a 1.1 QBR rating using this admittedly weird flawed stat. Wisconsin's Alex Horniebrook had a 0.7. He was 7 for 20 for 100 yards and had one TD and two interceptions. And that was it.

It's not even like his numbers were that different in terms of overall yardage. and he actually threw a TD, which Shea Patterson did not. And that didn't matter. Michigan still wiped the floor with Wisconsin. And I watched about half this game, and I'll admit, I have to go back out and figure how it happened, because I'm still not sure how. Would you like a partial answer? Other than 300 plus yards rushing for Michigan, yeah.

Wisconsin punted on fourth and two in, like, situations where they shouldn't have done that multiple times, including fourth and two from the Michigan 42. down 14 in the second half and fourth and two from their own 38 at that point down 24 what are you doing punting sorry you're right it was a stupid question

in retrospect yeah in the words of in the words of Paul Chris looking in the mirror fuck that guy because that's some cowardly punting this was the least

Blood Week game of Blood Week just yeah It was a different kind of bloody. Yeah. I mean, who expected Michigan to make Wisconsin look like Nebraska? That's hurtful. Which Nebraska? What did they play in the stadium after the game?

Jump around. They play jump around. Yeah, yeah. This is in my... Do you think Michigan fans were jumping? No. Is that a frivolous activity? No, they were going structurally.

I don't know if that's a good idea. We haven't really tested it for this, have we? We need to run this by the engineers. We're jangling keys for. the usher. Yeah. They have special code to some of them. In terms of other stadium music mysteries,

Neck was played at LSU. Okay. Remember Alabama, Alabama, they did get Dixieland Delight back, and for the most part, people behave well. No, no, that's not what, that's not what happened. Over the left, they piped in, they piped in, respect Auburn.

Yeah. Did they actually pipe in respect? Auburn. They piped in Beat Auburn. Beat Auburn. I thought it was beat Auburn. Because if you had said

Respect Auburn, I actually might have believed it. That's like the most Rick Muscles Twitter thing I've ever heard. It would have been better if they just piped in. Auburn just lost

in Tennessee. Bro! As a 14 point favorite. Now back to the song about humping in a truck. in East Tennessee.