Shutdown Fullcast - Bobby Petrino fired for...being bad (at his job) - Week 11 Review

Episode Date: November 12, 2018

This isn't a warning you should need, but this episode contains PETRINO VOICE OUT THE GATE. This podcast is not for children, or for adults, really. Other topics! 6:46 New career paths for Bobby 8:38 Cackling, maniacal Spencer on Florida-South Carolina 11:12 Michigan State lost the…punting battle??? 17:00 Sympathy for the Crimson Tide, who just didn’t have it this weekend 19:24 Boston College scored the most New England touchdown possible 22:18 The defensive wrinkle Clemson should use in the national championship 24:00 Cremation or Burial: What do we do with the VT defense? 27:41 You (yes, you, listener) are a top 20 team! 29:49 Bedlam was perfectly Bedlam in its Bedlamity 33:25 Ok Cool. Hook Em 40:00 Cackling, maniacal Holly on Tennessee-Kentucky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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download the free app today and make the most of your summer with all trails. What? Actually, I got to let someone else take this one. Go ahead. Welcome to the shutdown podcast. My name is Bobby Petrino. And I don't have a job anymore, so I'm going to be crashing here for a while. Bobby gone! Bobby Petrino got fired for football reasons. Unfortunately, they have released me.

I need an adult. No, no, I don't. No, wait, I heard it. I heard it. I heard it. I heard it. Take it back. Did someone say it don't?

Our dear colleague, Bobby Petrino, has found himself. unemployed this time for football without scandal he made it I mean he made it an entire tenure at a single employer without a off field scam well I guess the recruiting at the time and the hire of Brian Van Gorder and shit and well I'm trying to be as generous as I can okay here's generous in one year Louisville decided that Bobby Petrino wasn't worth it and that Papa John was actually too racist, even for Louisville. And I don't think either of us saw that coming. It's been a spectacular year there.

They've gotten rid of, let's see, Rick Petino, involved in, literally a federal case. You caught them feds. You know what kind of legal, like, trouble catches people in Kentucky's attention? The kind of trouble you don't want. That's right, the kind of where they're like, who, you might have to leave your house and live in the woods for a while. Yeah. Why are you going to tell my family stories out here? that and uh giving up 50 points um basically every week in ACC play those two things

were one and the same I do like that out of all the exits from Louisville cleaning house and just giving everything a swab of garlic butter just to make it all brand new is make it all slide away easily it just all increasing the viscosity make it all just just slink down the drain is that out of all these exits Bobby's is this All he did was he sucked at his job. That's it. Yeah. Anybody can do that.

I do. I also want to point out that... A mood. I also want to point out that before Bobby shuffled off this particular mortal coil, who got to get revenge on him after four years of losing by a score of something like 160 points to 70? That's right.

Syracuse. The one reliable kicking puppy. that Louisville had during Bobby Petrino's entire second tenure at Louisville. Oh, they turned it around. They turned around something nasty. It's fun to watch because... Something nasty turned it around. Orange, man.

I can't do it. I just end up sounding like Dave Wonstat. That, too. Someone's fetish. Large sandwiches. Well, now it is. Jesus. We also have Pitt to talk about.

There's a lot of pit. But congratulations, Syracuse, on being the one to... drive the last nail in the coffin of Bobby Petrino at Louisville. Denoed. Yeah, you got Baybird and Denoed. You got Weber Denoed. Usually you pay double for that, Cotton. Bobby would know that, wouldn't he?

I think that your extended metaphor implies the puppy kicked back. The puppy, that puppy became a big old dog. That puppy reared up. Bit Bobby and, you know, his moneymaker. Where is that? I'll leave that to the experts to decide where Bobby Petrieon. moneymaker is upsetting yeah it's his big old brain

bobby petrino managed to win eight games which is where is your brain he could not win with lamar jackson imagine playing head shoulders knees and toes with bobby petrino sing it jason sing puppet do what i want knees and that's enough

you know i always think i'm ready for this and then yeah Bobby Petrino, he gone, I presume, to lie and wait for such lucrative coaching jobs as the Louisville job in 2003. I think you got the band-moving lab. Oh, wait, now we can go to Notre Dame. No, he can take over Ohio State when Urban goes to Notre Dame.

They do need a man of character there. You know, the Atlanta Falcons might need a head coach. Oh, no, that would never work. I think we should see what it's like. We definitely give it a chance. What do we have to lose? Quite a bit. Auburn's been waiting 15 years for this.

I say pick it up now. Time is right. Yeah. Hey, get him before Bama can. This is the bridges of Madison County. We're going to reunite them. Bamma grab him up. A home for wayward boys, you say.

Oh, wait. No, sorry. Sorry, I'm bad at this. I'm real bad at this. Yeah, that would be the biggest shocker of all because we are now currently entering, I think with the firing of Bobby Petrino, Kansas doesn't count if they fire a coach, right? Kansas doesn't count.

It doesn't count it much, I'll tell you what. Kansas firing a coach is not a surprise. Louisville firing a coach is officially kicking off termination season. We are now firmly in the point where hot seats become too hot! And officially begins scalding people. Petrino, the first cat off the hot grill. I think it's even funnier. What the hell was that metaphor?

It's a very personal metaphor. I explained it later. It's from Tennessee. If we picture that, like, you can't broil, you can't broil a cat. Jesus, wept. Come on, that meat won't stand up to it. This is great. Spencer's acquired some stringy game and a poor pelt.

Poor house cat pelt. Ed Dead Redemption. I'm playing. Speaking of poor peltz. I just like the idea that, no, this isn't actually kicking off hot seat season. The coaches who are fired this year are Kansas. and Bobby Petrino. That's it.

Everyone else is fine. Also, Kansas won some things. Yeah, Kansas has more wins than Bobby Petrino managed in his final season before he got fired for being terrible at his job. Life's funny. Life is rich. I can't relate. Life is rich and so is Bobby Petrino.

Oh, shit. Three words, Bobby Petrino, studio presents. Who's going to hire? Is he like a... like a CBSSN or like a BN they put him on stadium yeah because he gets and he gets to be online

and the producer tells them to smile and then it's like no don't do that oh god no don't do he's just got one he's got those bird teeth he had them all filed down to match the mascot maybe try taking one of the mallet bobby no put it back in put it back in no

this does begin the Louisville hiring Jeff Brom conversations from Purdue and this would be the point where I sincerely say I do not know if this is a move that Jeff Brom necessarily wants to make at this point because Louisville is a scientific phrase. They're a goddamn mess. They're an absolute mess right now.

Yeah, but he's walked into those before. I mean, he did walk into Purdue with head high. After Purdue, what do you fear? Yeah, and like, you know, how could it be worse than do and plus like how many chances do you get to go fix your alma mater but most alma moders are beyond fixing so i was going to say yeah then again louisville probably has this is pretty good go owls we are again the uh number uh highest rated uh division one football program in state of georgia

not expensive no i can relate nearly beat kansas state in basketball we only lost by like nine i gather that's good apparently i've heard is that a basketball that's not many points in basketball okay That's good, yeah. I'm a Florida fan. Nine's fine. Sure. We got nine, huh? That's great.

How many the other team get? Is it less than nine in the other direction? Awesome. Oh, do I have things to discuss for Florida? Because normally in previous years, when Florida had gotten down 31-14, there was some semblance of, I guess that's how things are just going to go today. I know something's changed because of the hat. have? South Carolina got to 31 points. It was a 31-14 score. And I thought, well, that's all South

Carolina's got. Punch themselves out. Do you think there was sort of a, so you say Florida used to be like that, and South Carolina is like that now? Is there some sort of a correlation between former Florida and current South Carolina that would? Can't think of one. I don't think, there's not a lot the program has in common. Shear coincidence, I guess. collapse and sort of an offensive like miasma that comes over the team suddenly for no apparent

reason like suffocating fart gas wafting from the ass of a giant dragon who kills scoring in college football games. No, I don't know what the two teams could possibly have in common. I know that guy Will Must champ. He's going to bounce back from this though.

He'll find that dragon. Oh, now you can score points, Will. He'll find that fart dragon. Yeah, he'll find... There's a big old fart dragon. upstate that he's got to play at the end of the season. Please remember that. That South Carolina, if you go,

wow, well, it can't really get much worse than blowing a 31-14 lead to Florida, of all people, and letting Felipe Franks have a career game on you. It can be a forced baptism in Clemson. Mm-hmm. You're about to get some Jesus rubbed on you. You're about to get drowned in a trough for the Lord. Just like Davo's daughters. Oh, my God.

And then, in order to close out your season, you have to go and play Big Ten West Champ Akron in a rescheduled game. Don't I have that right? I checked. He does have only sons. I rest my case. I just had to check. So we only know about his sons. Teach the controversy.

Because all the daughters were drowned. Yes. For Christ. Yeah, South Carolina is playing a rescheduled game against Big Ten West champion Akron Zips. not an easy game please never forget Akron won the Big Ten West and if Northwestern were to

say upset Michigan or Ohio State Ohio State extremely upsetable nearly beat Michigan earlier this year Big Ten Big Ten champion Akron In other shameful performances Michigan State

covered themselves in glory Glory by the way is the Chinese pharmaceutical name for an off-branded skin that can cause burning, searing, angreness, irritation. Starting every drive from the one and a half. Getting one bad punter out of Ohio State's punter,

and then suddenly turning him into the reincarnation of Ray Guy himself, dropping bombs inside the five. Being so out identity, that your own identity, that you are Michigan State, and you don't even trust yourself to punt? Imagine. that's the only thing you have Michigan State, in case anyone

missed this, took an intentional safety in the third quarter betraying, punching itself. You didn't even let that boy punt? I really can't believe that Martin Antonio auto safety, though. Like that's, the most Michigan State play is, you know, the

unintentional auto safety, and he intentionally embraced it, and it made no difference whatsoever. Yeah, I mean, all it did was set up more bomb-ass Drew Crishman punts. God, Drew Chrisman. He had a four-yard punt

to open things. The average is deceptive. I think that was to lull them into a false sense of security. Like, oh, he's off today. We got him. We got him rattled.

Nope. You do not. Drew Christmas was dropping balls inside like he was dropping balls inside the satchels of angels. Like it was Drew Christmas. Delivered presents like it was Drew Christmas. Straight down the chimney.

He was doing the quantum physics thing where it's like every time it gets halfway closer, you know, the first time it's at the three, then it's the one of the half, then it's the 0.75. And it can never actually touch the goal line. Eventually it's just infinitesimally, imperceptibly far away. That's a big 10 words for you. That is, you know?

And speaking of... Nice adverbs, Jason. Thank you. As a Medilgrad, I'm obliged to compliment you. As a Big Ten West champion, Medilgrad. I beg your pardon. Speaking of it. That means Northwestern would have had to beat Iowa.

Actually. Goodness gracious me. In my most Northwestern moment ever on this podcast, well, actually. In true Northwestern fashion, I'm going to hand it over to someone else to do the rest of the word. You've got some great ideas here. If you guys could just get started on those, that'd be awesome. I'll be over here figuring out how the fax machine works. I am now the executive producer of this podcast.

The most wonderful thing, by the way, the other. quantum phenomena in Michigan State, Ohio State, was the occasionally extant and then sometimes not there at all passing game. Totally random. Brownian motion passing game from Michigan State. If you're not familiar, Brownian Motion, that would be just the random movement of particles, which is pretty much exactly where the ball went. Michigan State has the weirdest offense because they haven't been able to run the ball for, what, three years running? Yeah, they've ever since, they used up all their good runs in that one drive in the Big Ten title game. Yeah.

That one, 74 play drive. Play, 380 yards, yeah. Four hours. Open the doors to the stadium, boys. We're going to the downtown indie. Yeah. Just spilling into the... Yeah, at Michigan State, Bill Connolly often brings this up.

They have this brand of being a, you know, grunty, excellent man-ball team, but they're not. Lately they've been a, like, scatter-gun. 50 pass a game for 21 completions all at like a 4.3 yard per attempt clip with one I-N-T and no T-Ds. I happened to be watching this game next to a Pac-12 fan and he said, how do you watch this shit? And then what happened later that night? And then what?

The East Coast had its revenge because we all had to watch Cal U.S.C. We're going to drag you down into the Muck West Coast by any means necessary. 15 points beat the most talented team on the entire west coast 15 of them things me watching that game with michigan state ohio state ah what sad tragic comedy that i can savor me later finding out what happened to cal u sc what masculinity what man ball what reform has been brought to the pack 12 yeah what man the whole damn story Cal's got a great chant, man Yeah, something, something, something

Tell the whole damn world This is bear territory The city of Los Angeles Baratory Overrun by Bears Yeah Can you better than fires Can they fire

The Bears could fight fires It's supposed to be their job Yeah That's what I was raised to believe Great job bears Listen Justin Wilcox can hold USC to 14 points I'm pretty sure he can keep a while fire From jumping the 101

He's a bit late oh damn it just send that big white fella up to agap that was working at us that was enough to stop USC big old number 90 something don't shut down anything the slow arriving agap blitz is one of my

favorite college football thing which is you know we're going to put a guy right over the ball we're just going to send him to you and he's almost going to get there there he comes lumbering it's a big old cow bear yeah having offended all Christians and the victims of the California wildfires where do you want to go next boys

I was thinking of going to Alabama, if we have to talk about them. Well, it was a... Let's make a T-shirt! It was a rough weekend for the tide. No Christian's there, especially not now. Struggling. Alabama clearly has unconfessed sin. Bama struggled to get the ball moving.

Just couldn't get anything done on offense. Failed to punch it in at the end? I know. Like only scored, what, 24 points? 24 points. Two is confidence. is shaking, eradicated, the language gap from Hawaiian to God's language is clearly...

Which Alabama fans warned before the season. They warned everyone about that, yeah. They saw this coming. We ought to go in here. We had to send one of our Espy Nation's young guns to interview that message board fan. I think somebody actually found him and... He feels very badly about it. It wasn't a joke.

Does he? Yeah, he did. He was like, oh, I didn't know. I didn't know. Yeah, we know you didn't know, dummy. Yeah. He felt cheapish. But, like, everyone assumed it was a joke.

Everybody was like, okay. I didn't assume it was a joke. Well, everyone from outside. I know these people. Everyone from outside the mid-south assumed it was a joke. Yeah. They can't be that, though. He felt very bad about it, and he's learned a lot about Polynesian culture.

Yeah. Do you think he sincerely told people, you know, I went on a journey. I watched Moana. I watched Moana. Yeah. Hawaii, Fibo, the new one. Yeah. I watched the rest of it.

Mania where it was the Rock versus Stone Cold. Yeah. And they were stealing each other's moves. Yeah, that's Polynesian history. Part of Polynesian culture. At least one direction. Yeah. Later, I went to Benny Hana.

I know, not as not. Nope, my heart was in the right place, which is at the Machi table. Yeah, I went out to the lake. There's a little island out about 40 feet out. Learned about island culture. It was Lake Lanier. They got islands. There was a turtle.

Yeah, there's weird muscles everywhere. It's crazy. Turtle on the island. Speaking of weird muscle. Dudes! There we go. Weird muscles. Boston College, who... All I do is lay down segues. They scored seven points. They scored seven points, y'all. They scored seven points.

At what? My favorite stat from that at halftime, it was like, oh, the dudes got them on the ropes. It's 13 to 7 dudes. We're going to put... They had 24 yards. Dude, Slovenia. 24 yards. Yeah. And their quarterback got knocked out.

Yeah. And the one score was via a white boy who was wearing a hoodie under his jersey. Which is maybe the most New England football player thing of all time. Which you'd have a, like, a hoodie. So his first name is obviously Danny. What's his last name? Walbert. I knew it.

All Wolberts. Another one. But, yeah, having the hoodie, if you could only wear shorts as your uniform, Shorts in light cold weather, right? Danny. It's not cold. You can't see me. That's why I made that punt return happen.

Not really a challenge for Clemson in any sense, other than they managed to slow down Clemson's offense a little bit. Also, they had to go to Boston. They kept it out of the end zone. That's good. Travis Etienne only averaged, what, seven yards to carry? That's a victory. That's not as bad as it has been.

I saw Clemson had a stat that the tigers are now. It was something like 5-0 in northern games played under 40 degrees or colder. Tigers are very comfortable in the snow. Siberian tigers. Ain't them hot weather tigers, no. Like downstate. Yeah. They ain't them porky internet tigers you see either.

Not them ones that sit in Chinese zoos getting fed chicken all day. Nope. Man, tigers have it good. Yeah, well, those tigers, man, are really fat tigers from, like, Siberian zoos that just basically jump at chicken thrown out of, like, baskets. Yeah. That's a life.

Same. Yeah, same, same. Well, this is my way of saying. Clemson can get fat, they'll still be agile. As in, their backfield, the fridge package, which contains Trevor Lawrence at QB, then Dexter Lawrence, who is significantly larger than Trevor Lawrence. He's a bigger variety of Lawrence.

He's about 320 on the package. on the listed in the roster so much larger brother he's probably about 340 uh and then christian wilkins uh i believe at tailback is what he plays so fat and agile is absolutely the way to go through life is what i'm hearing yes that's exactly what you're hearing and they run that package all day uh it is my absolute favorite thing in football right now in terms of scheme they should run this should be their standard goal line package and here's the fun part it is when they get into goal line they bring out 700 pounds of backfield before you get to the quarterback, basically. I think they should start the game against, like, Duke just in that lineup

and do it for a whole drive and make Duke think, like, fuck, are they going to do this the whole time? If they play... Hell yes, Duke's football. If they play Alabama... What was that? That was Duke football being throttled by a tiger. Sorry, sorry, coach. If they play Alabama in the playoff, that's down one.

down one set they got to have Wilkins and Lawrence in the back field so beautiful remember Christian Wilkins and Dexter Lawrence book that I believe didn't they both play a defense in the spring game or was that just Wilkins played safety and just lobbied to play

quarterback he's played punt coverage he's played he's caught passes he just ran the wildcat they should they should let him they should absolutely let him play safe if you can tell him

In the national title game. That would break Nick Saban's brain so hard. Time out. What is this playful ludic thing you're doing? What is this poetry I see before me? This is not football or a system. This is his Osamandias. Yeah.

I don't think this is any real bother for Clemson. I think this is all setting up for their real matchup of destiny, which the matchup of Destiny got a little bit closer this weekend because I don't know if you went to the ass-kicking store this weekend but if you did they were all out and you had to come back you know whose fault that was that you had to come back on Sunday to buy more ass at the ass kicking store all right?

From the sounds of it my aunt Debbie. No. Did someone put Pitt in the ass-kicking store? Oh shit. Pitt got to the ass-kicking store before you and they bought it all. Pitt looted that motherfucker. That's right. Pitt was there at, like it was Windows 95 release date.

Yeah. They were first in line. I'm so excited. They're releasing Windows NT. Or as they say in Pittsburgh, earn tea. Earnter. How did that have nine letters in it? Windows, Earnty.

Yeah, Pitt put one on Virginia Tech. I know that defense is now pretty publicly known as being bad. But, damn, Pitt. That's fair. Pitt ran for 492 yards. Damn, Pitt. That's some Paul Johnson level spite on the ground. 492?

Cadri Olson had 235 yards rushing. 235, y'all? Damn. So, Virginia Tech. Let's check in on your rushing defense. How's that going? It started great. They did not allow really more than four yards to carry through their first four games,

Since then, 5.22, 6.18, 5.96, 4.47. None of those are disastrous. Even the Georgia Tech went in there. It wasn't the average. There was Saddam Mini to average. And then there's this. 13.67 per carry. You have allowed 16 rushing touchdowns

in your last three games. That's what it says right here. 16? CFBStats.com. 16 rushing touchdowns in three games. I went to a public school, but could you correct me? I believe that's more than five. That's several.

Yeah, that's many. That's more than you want. How many teams have given up fewer than 16 rushing touchdowns all year? Let's find that out. It is actually, well, it's quite a few. Quite a few, including... Basically half the country. Half the country, okay.

Alabama's given up three. Cincinnati's giving up. up five. Mighty Iowa State is given up five. Auburn is only giving up six. That's how bad things are. That's how many they give up in a game. Twice. They've done that twice. It's fine. What would happen if Virginia Tech and Louisville played, right? I don't know. Win sprints. Win sprints. Oh, man. I would like to also catch up with another law of statistics science and humanity and football, I would like to go on to the NC State loss watch. NC State, by rule, must finish every single season with four losses.

And let's see, where are they stand after this? I think we're good. We good? Did we get to four? We're very, oh, no, pardon me. I forgot the West Virginia game got canceled. We were six and three, so. Heading in, heading in for four losses.

I'm going to say, should be six and four, so. Yeah, because that's happening. Every time you want to get hype about NC State, NC State shows up. If they played West Virginia, they'd be six and four. Yeah. They play Wake Forest this week. So nobody will be happy.

And they were... This was one of the seven biggest spread upsets of the season so far. So that's bad. Yeah, that's not good. Did Wake Forest have their starting Q-beat? No, they started Jamie Newman. Yeah, they started him. and he's not the starter.

So you figure going up against a seasoned team like NC State that was on the gum up, that was on the rise, that he was certainly going to exhibit the kind of fear. No, he threw three TDs. And the playoff committee's number 14 team, sir. That's funny. The answer being, no one's really good this year except for Alabama.

Yeah. That's it. That's the answer. Nobody's really great except for Alabama. Everyone else just scrambling for fries at the bottom of the bag. No, in this I find a bit of freedom because Bama has, they have all the pressure. They got to keep being Bama,

and the rest of us can go about our happy lives. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So if you ever find yourself angry about the playoff committee, pull up the, as of this exact moment, just take a look at the standings. Try to list teams past 10. 11, something like that.

List through number 20. Come up with the list that you think few people could find fault with. It's impossible. there are here is my favorite side about this season so far in the power five do you know how many two lost teams are with exactly two losses

hmm two Syracuse and LSU that's it that's it everybody else is either three one or none the two uh the three

we can count Notre Dame the three zeros and full of ones everything else is garbage sure like who's definitively the 11th team in college football right now. Congratulations, it's you. Yeah, sure. It's whoever you want it to be. Yeah. I don't care. Yeah, you can tell me whoever you want. Wisconsin, you want

to slide right in there? 11th best. If someone came up and said it's Florida, you'd say they beat LSU, LSU is said to be in the top ten. Tennessee just beat number 11 yesterday. Well, guess who's the new number 11? Not us. Like, you can't even, like, even this weekend was sort of, I think, a cavalcade of slightly underwhelming performances, for instance. Michigan only scored 42 points against Rutgers. Sad. They gave up an 80-yard

touchdown to Rutgers. Yeah, I asked a Michigan guy what happened to make them so frustrated, and he says, they threw a bunch of screens. Modernity. Gross. Screens. Cowardly. Leisure de Man, slot of hand?

No! This does not belong in football. I want an honest exchange of face masks. Gentlemen, is this what we want football to be? Yeah, only 427, Michigan. After a hammering of, like, after a historic hammering of Rutgers. Do you think they did it just so they could say Penn State is basically Rutgers? Absolutely. Yeah, 100%.

It's canon. Yeah. If you did watch Bedlam, we have, this is another example. It was actually Bedlam this year. No, it was real good. It did. It was also actually Bedlam. because Oklahoma State lost.

Well, that's part and parcel. Yeah. Like every year we do this thing where we talk ourselves into Bedlam being, anything can happen, it's crazy. Bed lame. And as Alex Kirchner put it, that means Oklahoma could win by a lot. Oklahoma could win by a little. Oklahoma could win on the last play.

You never know what'll happen. It was one of the years where Oklahoma won by a little, which that's fun. Oklahoma State had to go for two at the end, and missed it on a play where I was alternately told after watching it that the pass was bad. The past was good, but the guy wasn't open. The guy was open, but the pass was okay,

but the defense was good, and I was told that the entire idea was very bad. I think Mike Gundy should be fired, extended, put on probation, and he should take the Louisville job. How can you... That's my favorite one-score game. Like, literally, we talk about one score, one point. It is a one-point game where you do the bold thing to end it at the end, right?

Like if you finish it with a two-point conversion, you take that chance, and then everyone goes, well, obviously, something went terribly wrong here. What? Should have taken the points? Should you go up against your rival who you're already, what, two and eleven against? Right. And you come within one point of them with a guy named Taylor Cornelius at quarterback who is far. as everyone else knows, only received scholarship offers from one other school, all right? He wasn't even Tulsa grade material, and he's your starter. And you get within a point of beating Oklahoma. Do you know the data you can take from that? Do you know the inference you can take from

that? Nothing. That you should fire Mike Gundy immediately. Your best coach ever. I'm not talking about modern history or no. No qualifiers whatsoever. your best coach ever and he loses by a point to a team he's already two and eleven against that has vastly more resources and isn't in still water in a mock turtleneck television look at everything he's struggling against yeah i'm saying he's making it worse for himself yeah mock fucking turtleneck how dare you and who was twice this season told the press i don't give a shit nearly mock turtleneck when asked when asked about scrutiny on play calls performance and overall team record

has said, I don't give a shit on multiple occasions. You scrutinize your closet, you fucking goblin. He does, you know, he needs a little more something on than the khakis. Do he wear sweats sometimes, too? Is he one of those coaches who wear sweats on the sidelines? Like, fancy sweats?

Performance sweats? Yeah, he's worn performance. Tactical sweats. I think he's wore tacto sweats. Yeah, tacto sweats. That's got to be among the most Oklahoma garments, I would guess. There's a man who owns no fabrics that do not wick. Yeah, no, it's all wicking.

The mistake is in thinking this makes him a pioneer. Well, if you go and hunt rattlesnakes before practice, you're going to need the wicket material. Right? Thank you, Joe. Valuable input from a cat. You know what Mike Gundy thinks of any cat's input on his program. I don't give a shit.

I don't give a shit. Hey, he's got that in common with the cat. I don't give a shit. I poop in the woods and cover it like a cat. So quit asking. So quit asking. Let's see here Can we talk about Texas?

Can we have a Texas sidebar here? Yeah, if we speak quietly. I would like to have a Texas sidebar. Fat boy! I think it's important to note that Sure, Texas beat Texas Tech, but there are more important developments in the long horniverse. Like what?

Well, self-discraced Ohio State at the former assistant coach, Zach Smith. He logged the fuck on. Yeah, no, he did not log off. Sunday night. He went on quite a tirade about Tom Herman, former colleague at Ohio State.

Why do I know that name? Well, he's the head coach at the University Tech. All seven of them. Interesting, interesting. All seven of them. Each Tom Herman. So, Zach Smith went on quite a spree about, I'm going to expose you, bitch.

I'm going to take you down. Asian masseuses and so on and so forth. Are the Asian masseuses part of the take? down plan? I think so. I think they were in on it from the beginning. They were plants by a criminal mastermind Zach Smith. He's a genius. Zach Smith is a pretty witsack

name. We might ought to see this coming. That's probably a fair point. His real name is, I can't say it. In other words, he did not stop posting. He just kept posting. And eventually one of his posts, oh, he broke out the receipts.

He had the documentation. He exposed Tom Herman. Oh, man. Wall of text, I'm going to take you down, bitch, so on and so forth, so on and so forth. Podcasting and text messages are both visual mediums. The end of this was a reply by Tom Herman. What was it? Oh, God, I forget the exact word.

I got to get this right. Okay, cool. Hook them. Which immediately became the mantra of the CFB Internet for the rest of the night and will probably remain. It's the response that one might have sent to your postmate is outside. Okay, cool, hook him. It's like, it's got to be Tom Herman's stock text response. Like, is Zach Smith dropping off falafel?

It's like a recruit says, hey, coach, I think I'm going to come up next weekend. Okay, cool, hook him. Spencer, we can hear that. It's fine. I had to crack a beverage. I had to crack open a cold one to restore your spamming the core. Had my Shiner so I could keep posting That weak pelt Cherry Coke Zero

I can't log off My podcast and dead eye is diminished I need to slow it down So I can accurately nail these takes Bang bang Headshot If you're wondering if they're like this all the time They are

Yeah No I With Herman doing this It does remind me that at all points Texas is rich and doesn't care. That's it. Texas is rich and they don't care.

That's at all points. When you hear the theme song, right? When you hear the eyes of Texas are upon you, all you should hear is, I'm Big Cow and I don't like you. You can suck my dick. That's it. Big Cow.

Big Cow goes to all of them, right? Sing more. Yeah, like you can sing it to the fight song as well if you were going to sing the Texas Fight Song, I tried this earlier and here's a problem I started singing boomer sooner but with big cow sing and suck my dick which actually works on like several levels

Oklahoma and Texas are basically the same program Yeah everyone agrees on that I've always thought that many people are saying Many many people have said It's the only reasonable conclusion Did you get a load of this Oklahoma and Texas are the same program says someone

Yeah We're gonna get some emails probably going to get some emails. That's all right. Texas Tech can't catch a damn break. They can't catch a break a set. They can't, yeah, they can't do anything right right now because they go all the way down with Jed Duffy, who was their second stringer, and I think if you counted it certain ways, might have even been close to third string. Like, I don't know, they've had like three different. I'm sure you can, yeah. Yeah, they've had nine different quarterbacks, basically. He's their 17th string.

And remember, everyone who comes through Texas Tech ends up somewhere else or ends up in the NFL, right? Usually Oklahoma. Baker, Mayfield, Pat Mahomes, right? You know who can catch. Little Jordan. Little Jordan Humphrey. Come on, man. He crabtreeed.

So the most precious moment in the history of Texas Tech football. Has now been taken back away from them by rich people who don't have to live on the moon. Yeah. cow, and I don't like you. Yeah, that happened to you. They did kind of a weaker, but like rich people appropriating something, they did kind of a weaker, less important version of it, right?

Oh, we can do that. It was the Woodstock, too, of catches. Then, uh, so yeah, I don't know. Texas is what? No, we, how are we on our chicken bet? We need to update everyone on the progress. Well, this was, uh, this was very good news for Spencer of. Texas is, uh, it's a little tricky.

Texas is in the AP poll, currently 13th, which is well within Spencer's win zone. The overall mediocrity of college football is really helping me here. Yeah, this is good news for you. However, in the CFP rankings, Texas was 19, and they'll probably jump up to about 16th or so. So they're in the push zone in the secondary side chicken bet. So Spencer, right now you are currently 1-0-1.

if things were to hold through Kansas. That's excellent. That's a chicken and a half. That's a chicken and a half. Of course, I also have a chicken bet with Ryan as well. Well, that's why I'm keeping track of both. Okay, yeah. You would defeat Ryan.

On the big chicken board. And you and I would have to have a grim handshake without any winners whatsoever. Push. Antagonize. Press X to push. Press X to push. God damn. Get out of my way, partner.

Did you say? say Tom Herman I'm gonna ruin him whatever hook him okay cool hook him okay cool no hat

no cattle do you have anything else oh hey hey hey Tennessee one no yeah it's true it's true

I haven't finished the deep I hadn't got all the way through this recording yet I don't know this we saw the end of it it's true man all right you double

sons of bitches. You can't even beat our anthropomorphic thumb of a coach with your anthropomorphic thumb of a coach in a wig. Got that out of my system. We're going to lose to Vanderbilt. Feeling good, though. Feeling good.

I'm feeling great. Your other team did pretty well, West Virginia. Oh, my, yeah. Yeah. My ancestors. team. I hadn't even begun to watch that game yet. I've got to wait till y'all leave. Just a 90. I'm going to get nude for this one. Speaking of gravely voiced cowboys, banditos.

Dana. Howdy, Parker. Howdy, Dana? Yeah, we'll be here through 350. Just, you know, casual 3 TD Day. No big deal. Go on. Yeah, just, you know, 4710. Like it's nothing. over Gary Patterson and TCU Having a very bad time So, Gare Bear! Yeah, Gary Patterson

having officially a very, very bad time this year at TCU and four and six likely looking at not making Anything close to a bowl? Right, yeah, well... Well, no, the problem with making a bowl is that you'd have to watch TCU play football again. Nobody wants that shit. Go ears!

They feel locked into like the Armed Forces Bowl, right? Six and six, like if they win their last two, six and six TCU and the armed forces. That would mean staying at home. Yeah, staying at hand. That's it. Let's put it this way, TCU. In December, I think your best bit is staying home. Yeah, you should just go ahead and do this.

Yeah. Please. One more sleep until the forever sleep, TCU. God, it's always so creepy. There was a heartwarming moment as Pat Fitzgerald informed his team that they had won the division. Correct. Why didn't they know that? I thought they lost to Akron.

That's a private school. No, they, I'm sorry. I'm only looking at 1410 over one of America's finest football programs that we never slander on this program, Iowa. That they beat Iowa 1410. Goodness. Yeah. That they informed everyone on the field that Northwestern didn't want, and they celebrated with a round of hearty handshakes. Just formal.

With a group byline. Yeah. They were like, hmm. we'll record a podcast now about this that's what we'll do is that what people do to celebrate good news that's what a northwestern grad does they record a podcast like and subscribe please but not a youtube channel those are gosh