Shutdown Fullcast - Bold Predictions Make My Stummy Hurt

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

JIMBO FISHER BACK?NC STATE EXPANDING MATHEMATICS?BRIAN FERENTZ VINDICATED?KIRK HERBSTREIT WEIGHING IN ON THE COMMERCE CLAUSE?CAN THE MIND CONCEIVE OF "AVERAGE COLORADO?"THE RETURN OF MICHIGAN STATE HITLER????Please let us do a live show in the Pittsburgh AirportThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Shawn PryorFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.com

You know, Welcome Welcome! To the shutdown fullcast. What do you think is bold? Somebody who has their podcast app sped up or slowed down for that experience. Who would slow a podcast down? That's fair.

Yeah, more of us, please. I like a seven-hour podcast. First of all, congrats to you, the listener, who is hopefully successfully listening to this on your podcast application of choice, a thing that was not true last week, but hopefully is true this week. I would say if it's not true, let us know, but how are you hearing us? how is this message even reaching you so you can let us know if you have sensed in some way that Ryan is crying out from a place unheard and you would like to in return channel that energy toward us in some way reach out your hand right now touch the screen that's right touch your screen and dusty roads will feel your hand you should probably you should probably

wash yeah you should probably wash those um that's disgusting yeah anyway we've a huge announcement, which is that... Eddie, Glacius, if you're touching your screen, throw your front away. It's too filthy. It can't be touched by anyone else. I wouldn't change Matt Brown's diaper on that screen. You're hearing Holly Anderson and Ryan Nanny,

as well as Michael Serber. This is the shutdown forecast. The internet's only college football podcast. What's up? And everything's fine. No one else has ever been on this show. That's our huge announcement. Huge announcement.

You may notice... You may notice something. different about the show this week, and I'm here to tell you your speculation has all been incorrect. That's right. Our back catalog is now hosted in a different cloud. All right. How long do you think we could go without Spencer appearing on this show before? Who? Who would say something first? Spencer or the audience? You're explaining the joke. No, no, no, I'm asking a different question. Brian is theorizing about someone named Spencer, if that person had been real.

Do you think he would realize he wasn't on the show? Do you think he would realize that he hadn't been on the show after? How long would it take? I don't know, because I just spent five or six hours reading replies from people who can't count to five. So like if we kicked him off the show, how long would it take him for him to notice? Is that what you're saying? If we kicked him off the show. Not kicked him without him.

Right. Yeah, server never sent him the calendar. Oh, yeah, okay. Holly never says, like, hey, we're recording. He don't forget. It's Tuesday. If we didn't share an office, I bet we could get away with this. So what if we were like, we just started recording like 30 minutes later than usual, and then the invite never arrived in his inbox.

Yeah, or if Holly was like, oh, I have to go to the post office every day. Or if Holly was like, I have to go to the post office on Tuesdays and, in fact, went to a secret location to take the forecast. At the post office, yes. At the post office. yeah we should do a live show at a post office the place I most want to do a live show is the Pittsburgh airport it's huge and empty

they built it when they thought oh Pittsburgh's the city of the future and that never happened so like it's awesome man you can just frolic like server you can seriously play a show in like one wing of the Pittsburgh airport and like no one would even know

agreed I'll do it okay there we go great Let's get some podcast business out of the way up top. We are talking to you mere days before the sports podcast festival in Raleigh, North Carolina. I have important information about tickets to this event. Right now, they cost $59.

You can go to pre-owned airboats.com to buy them. You can go to the Rialto website if you want to do that as well. If you wait until the day of the show, the price goes up $10 to. $69, which presents you with a dilemma. That is not so nice. Do you save money and buy tickets now, or do you do the 2013 internet thing and intentionally buy tickets at the $69 rate? It's your money.

I'm not telling you how to spend it, but I want you to have as much information as possible, because obviously you're going to come see us and the OGs and hand in the dirt, like Felder's already got the intro music picked out for him we definitely know what we're going to do for our show like the rehearsals we've gone through the choreography the costumes yeah the pyro like I thought Holly's work on choreo for this has been fucking outstanding thank you but just listen the privilege of

restaging Serber and Felder as Bradley and Gaga in their Oscar were winning performance of Shallow yeah that is such a such a good fight scene that we put together I didn't know that Hartzell was going to agree to fly like Peter Pan, but he will. The raw sensuality emanating from those little felt caps. Oh, that derailed everybody, huh? Wow. No, no, it's derailed. We're listening intently.

It's not, it's not where I thought the sentence was going to end. I thought we were going to hear more about where the felt caps are positioned. From the little Peter Pan flares. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what are they covering? Yeah. But now it's making me, don't know. You don't talk yet. You don't talk yet.

What the fuck was that? All right. Server, what buttons are you pushing? What audio are you? Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. Sorry.

We'll edit that out. Just make him feel real bad and tell him where you've actually been. Never mind. Just up in my Southern Gothic score by a billion. That's all. Everything's fine. Again, the shutdown podcast, colon, everything's totally fine. Everything's totally fine.

Everything's totally fine. ACC football. Everything's totally fine. Can we just shut the Reddit down from now to Saturday and just put them in time out until Florida State kicks off? What did they do? No, this is prophylactic. Oh, oh.

Do you mean the Reddit or all of Reddit? Yes. Now we're thinking how far can you go? Anyway, hey, stranger. I think Spencer's mic is a little, a little. high a little high a little hot it's okay it's not a problem but who how we doing folks i feel like our intrepid producer should notice that but we saw how that went last week we're selling everybody on raleigh raleigh yeah we did that already yeah great raleigh ireland can't wait to

see everybody there um i hope you're ready for my solo it is a challenging one but i think i can pull it off are you seeing or playing you'll find out have you ever seen the hippos in fantasia you were asking so he's doing okay so spencer's doing night on bald mountain okay Spencer Hall Dream ballet he's Mickey actually

somebody plug that into chat GPT and see what it gives us I will be doing it on didgeridoo mm-hmm

no you're not taking weird instruments for me oh shoot how many recorders should I bring how many

however many you think you should plus two okay so nine all right yeah

yeah I believe you have six so um you personally have purchased eight so okay

then you have 14 I would bring all 14 that seems necessary we haven't used the base recorder in a minute we should probably bring that do you want to be entombed with any of them I'm sorry that's kind of a dark question I don't want to be entombed period oh do you want to be cremated with any of them

that's plastic I mean you're not going to smell it I'm not a forever chemical buddy if any of us is a forever chemical forever chemical all right you're the only one of us who went to school pre-fluoride so it's true it's true that and leaded gasoline have kept me young is it time to talk about and that's our show is it time to talk about uh some bold

predictions for the 2024 season it's having having established that our playoff picks are in and correct and need no further context no is do you agree resoundingly instagram's answer was yes hey i hang on that's by the way i owe them some some paths on the head and maybe a not an apology but i'm willing to concede that i didn't think you guys would go along with the joke i thought that you would be very eager uh to be the clever lads and skewer the joke And I got to tell you, when you open that Instagram post, which is populated by many more people than listen to the actual show for some reason, when you open that Instagram post,

all you see is a flood of Great Pit Coach. Great Pit Coach. I've never been, I love our audience. I have never been more specifically proud of our audience than I was in this moment. You guys really came through. And I thought you were going to fuck up big time. No, they didn't. And they didn't.

I'm saying they didn't. I thought you were going to ruin it for all of us. And you just, you didn't. You did the opposite of that. Now you can only make me unproud. Thank, thank you is what I'm trying to say. Aw, what a sweet thing to say, Holly. God damn it.

That was really nice of you to say. Somebody get me out of here. Okay. Can I say that from a brief review of this, the understanding the assignment thing? just we're this is a great everybody's already in midseason form oh this is a collated list we had a lot of folks who can't count to five yes as in every year a misunderstanding of the term bold but we have i pulled 98 predictions out of the responses we got which i think is a high in terms of sheer volume we've ever got um i would like to think that the five word limit contributed there, but this is that by volume, this is by far the longest list of bold

predictions we've ever had to pull from. I revise my opinion. Uh, I will state this. Those who did hit bull's eyes. Yeah. Bulls eyes. The accuracy among the sample is very high. We've done it and we've done this before and you would think eventually that that would lead to like some tiresome repeats. No. No. There, these are zesty fresh. That's how new this college football world is we're done with the old things we're putting them away clemsoning that's a thing of the past we will not speak of such nonsense i think clemsonings still exists it's just means something different now okay i'm fine with that i don't want to know what it is yet i want to discover on my own time fair enough so we asked you the reader for bold predictions regarding the upcoming college football

season which kicks off now in a matter of we can just about count hours at this point and I would like to read off I would like to read off the first one that I saw which is from Robert and I think really sets the tone for the table when we want bold predictions guys we don't want Ohio State finally gets one on Michigan

no we want you to charge into the fray with the spirit of reader Robert who says in five words head coach fired next week not would not be unprecedented it didn't I think that happened to Southern Miss maybe like three years ago it is it is bold and it is yet within the realm of possibility this is well struck now who's it going to be well all right well uh I think it depends on whether you're taking this in football directions or non football directions if it's non football directions almost any name is on the table people make bad choices and they don't really care about the calendar necessarily yeah when those bad choices happen but if we're just talking about football reasons. It's still drunken boating season in most of the

country. Right. Are we counting Arkansas, are we counting Arkansas offensive coordinators in this? Why? Who's that? No, this says head coach. Run it back. Do it again. This says head coach. It's five words long. Can we, I'm sorry. That is a former many time head coach. All right. I'll give. Fair enough. It doesn't say current head coach. I'll give. I'll give you a name. Does that mean like Houston Nut could be fired from CBS next week? I think he retired from CBS. What? I think he's done doing that. I will give you a name, though.

Wait, did RJ get his job? Because I support that. I don't think that's what happened. I'm going to say, canonically, that's what happened. Congratulations. Head coach Richard Johnson. Here is my name that could get fired next week. I don't wish this to happen. Lincoln Riley. Timmy Chang. Oh, man, no.

Hawaii host Delaware State No, no. For I think a midnight kick. They've been through enough, man. Come on. You know who's going through even more is Delaware State getting to Hawaii? Hawaii, I believe, is a 38 point favorite. You don't ever want to be a 38-point underdog to Hawaii.

Like, Hawaii has not been, it's been a long time since Hawaii has been this favorite. Is it bad that when I saw head coach fired next week, it never occurred to me that it might be for football reasons? No, I think that's entirely. fair, but if you're looking from just the football reasons, if Timmy Chang and Hawaii

lost a buy game to a Delaware state team that should not win this game, there's a reason they are underdogs of such note, that could enter like, yeah, man. I don't know if we can do this. I don't think that passes the initial test of for who.

Just for feelings. I think sometimes, I think sometimes a week one fire is just like, I don't I don't have other healthy coping mechanism. I think the case for this would be he's an adult man named Tim. He should be Tim. Get his ass out of here.

I understand he played football here and his name's all over the place, but his name sounds girly. You're going to go by Tom Chang or you're getting the hell out. Can I tell you how freaky self-confident you are as an AD? If after week one, you're like, I've seen enough. Seen enough. Get local hero Timmy Chang out of here. I don't have to eat.

gram again. This is mean-spirited and I do not agree with it. I, listen, I don't think this will happen. I don't want this to happen. Oh, no, the four of bold predictions is they won't happen, but I feel like that has to be among the least likely. Can I take, actually, I do have a serious flyer to take on this. It's not easy to get rid of a coach in week zero.

Trent Dilfer. There we go. Okay. Let's cook. Okay. Why? Because he probably got into an argument over like the soda machine or something. That's it.

I'm not arguing with the soda machine. Punching a booster. Punching a chancellor. Punching the dean of the university. Headbutting the dean of the university. They're hosting Alcorn State on next Thursday. Oh, that can actually get fired on Friday, and that would be next week.

So that could work. And people would actually show up to the game because that's a kick-ass dance team. What if Mike Norville loses really bad in the very first game of the season after losing really bad in the last game of last season? Nope. Just proof that ESPN

Proof that ESPN has it in. No, no, they weren't invited to play, so it doesn't. I wasn't aware that that was, can I, hey, can I ask something about, this is derailing and I'm sorry, I know this is unlike me. Can I ask a question that has bothered me for some time? Now, when did we dispense with

the extension of the regular season into MLK weekend and the dispensal of week zero as nomenclature are really throwing me off as a combination? I think my brain could have held one of these in my mind, but both of them together are knocking my bio rhythms all out of whack. Is anybody else having this problem with diving straight into week one and week one starting on Saturday?

Like counting week zero as part of week one? Yeah, yeah, this thing where there is no week zero on the calendar and those first Saturday games are now being folded into week one. Oh, on like ESPN schedule. Oh, I don't like it. I still heard it being called week zero. Oh, good, okay. It bothers me less this year because there's so little of it.

Like, I feel like in previous week's eras, it's been like, there are nine games, there are 12 games or whatever. This is like, we are barely in the category of calling this a week, just in terms of like overall number of football games, the FBI's games. I find it disorienting and then you have to go to Ireland. So I'm just generally unmoored in time and space. It feels for me like this combo of like when we go started, it was like an FCL. game it was like oh holy shit look at this a game that it fell off the calendar it was on a wednesday or something it was on the same Saturday before it was just random uh it was like north Dakota state and whoever um and then it they said they you know they started building games

onto it and became a thing for the last few years where it's like oh there's like 11 games and like you know there's a game that kind of matters and now it feels like all of that packing stuff into week zero joy is gone and it's just like yeah here's some There's some stuff. It's kind of like what they've done with like Thursday and Friday nights as well, where it's like, oh, this used to be a thing where it feels like there was some effort to sort of make this an exciting part of the calendar. And now it's like, uh, got to put something on Thursday. All right. Louisville, go crap your pants, get somebody.

I don't care who. Yeah. Like, FSU George Tech in like on the other side of the world is like, okay, that's worth gawking at. Everything else is just like, what, you couldn't find anywhere else to put this. Right. We're just opening this off Broadway. That's it. that's college football opens off broadway this is college football soft opening right

let's go see what the irish audience let's go see what the irish audience thinks of our rehearsal than irish are like boo this sucks he's so loud i'm so loud so it's still so loud uh that's it down so much it's not working it's not it's not it was on a hundred i put it on 50 it's the lord's fault it's not too powerful it's just too damn boisterous um Yes, but head coach fired next week is an excellent, bold prediction. Thank you, Robert. Yeah. Who wants to go next?

I will go with one that would really strain reality. This is from Marcus. Eleven win Rutgers. Take it away, Spencer. I went into the archives. Rutgers has won 11 regular season games. They've won 11 games, including a bowl game. game once. There's only one season where they went, where they won 11 regular season games.

It was 1976 where they went 11 and 0. Do you know where they finished in the AP poll that year? 10th. I'm laughing because I just pulled it up. 17. I was going to go 17. 17. This is why. That year Rutgers played four non-major schools. This is before we called it FCS. That's a mean thing to say about Penn State. Effectively four D-2 school. Sorry, D1AA schools. Three Ivy League schools and four independents. And a lot of these games, like, they beat Cornell 21 to 14. The Piscataway Canap Tour.

They beat Lehigh by a touchdown. They beat Colgate by eight to end the season on Thursday. I love class warriors, Rutgers. Like, line it up, elite nerds. This is like if they're scheduling, this. This is like an 1876 schedule that accidentally was played 100 years later. Yes, and I know this is around the time when, like, D1 split into what has become FBS and FCS. So, like, maybe there's some weird, I don't know, like, residual, like, we already said we'd played Colgate.

We can't go back on our word. We have the 300-year contract with. I also like that they were not ranked until the very last week when people were like, fine, they're 10 and no, sure. But the strength of schedule here has to just be. like, impossibly low for Ruckers to go 11 and O. And I understand there's more football games now. So, yeah, they have the 24th worst schedule in the country, independent Ruckers at this point.

Yeah, so if they can, if they can, I'm not even going to play the schedule game because the history game is really all I need. If Ruckers can go 11 and O, that is probably the story of the college footballs. Or if they can win 11 games rather. that's the story of the college football season. It would be the greatest thing Greg Shiano has done. It would be the most impressive thing, I think a new member of the Big Ten has done post-Pen State joining.

Like, it might be, I mean, I know Utah's won some, Utah's done some work, did some work in the Pac-12. Gotta get used to saying it that way. Mizzou went to the SEC championship game twice. So like, but it'd be up in that category. of like, oh shit, what an ad the Big Ten pulled off here by bringing in

11 and 1 Rutgers. That is a really funny thought what it would take to make Rutgers feel like a wow, what a quality addition they were competition-wise. Divisions were holding them back, it turns out. You know what the stats are going to look like

for this team if they went 11 games, right? Every game is 21-20. Average point differential. Yeah, average point differential like somehow Rutgers will have like a negative point differential and go 11 and 1 in the regular season. Oh yeah

sure sure. They'll be like we had longest road. That's how we won a lot of these games. They're one lost. That means they played at UCLA. Right. Ah, Greg talked me out of all my wood again. I mean they do play at USC like midnight on Friday so.

This is really, I have literally never thought about what it would take for Rutgers to be viewed as like they deserve to be in the big 10, like, to get to a point where it's anything other than, you know, it's fine. We completed the paperwork. We completed the paperwork and we submitted it correctly. But like, Maryland hasn't won 11 games in a season since 2002. Like, it's a hard thing. And they were in the ACC at that point. It's a hard thing to do. If Ruckers could pull it off in 2024, I mean, shit. There's, you can talk, listen, you can talk me into a lot of teams winning nine or ten games. Eleven?

Yeah. Eleven is hard. Eleven is very difficult. Because everybody gets your one screw up. Yeah. Yes. To get to 11, no more screw ups. Yeah.

Right. Everybody gets, everybody gets one, my stummy hurt game. Right? Yeah, and you can't, you can't have bad luck. You can't have, like, freaky. I'm going to call it that. Such an upsetting word. That's what, that's what they call it.

the stomach in New Jersey. Yeah. Mestomi. You got to say it a little more Italian. Hey, uh, shake. My stomach hurt. It sounds like, like, sounds like a kind of sandwich. Let me get a mustummy.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It's just a roast beef soaked in ginger ale. I will try it. I will try it. There's such a, this is, this show is affecting my gut biome.

It makes, it makes your tummy hurt. Yeah. Just send it to me and Golick Jr. We'll take care of it. But yeah, an official, that is, that is an official category of game. Remember the my stummy hurt and we committed five turnovers. That's not, they never used that word. Too late.

Too late. Greg Shiano saying, my stumb slum. I object. So yes, thank you, Marcus, for sending in 11 win Rutgers, a very bold prediction indeed. All right, who's next? so I have one of my own every single year at some point various points

we have a little bit of a laugh about NC state's history of winning eight or nine games it's the most reliable thing in the sport over the last 14 years they've come within a game of eight wins all but twice it's incredible like that's ridiculous

this year at most sports books their win totals are between 8.5 and 9.5 perfect beautiful that's exactly where we want it i am going to argue that this is the year nc state wins 8.5 games oh shit on the button i don't mean more like a game that gets canceled by a hurricane halfway like like a game they're ahead at halftime and there's a hurricane coming in we'll find a way there's no ties in college football anymore i don't know there might be that might be how we get there um it's not going to be it's not going to be over it's not going to be under it's

going to be a push at 8.5. This is a game that goes to overtime game, game that goes to overtime, night game, lights go out, power doesn't come back on, no room on the schedule to replace it, both teams agree. Like, who does this feel like on the schedule? It's not UNC, because what if it's this, what if it's a CW game that gets delayed, and then because of the delay, it has to air on a different network, thereby NC State. On true TV? Sure, yeah. Dude, where the hell does it go from the C-D? Because I know the order, I know the order of succession for, for, for, you know, ESPN, ESPN, ESPN, you got it. You got it? I got it. I got it. Here it is. Okay. October 19th, 2024, NC State goes to Cal. That game, that game gets fucked up. Yes. Can't be completed. NC State has to go home. They don't have, they're not going, their only road games left after that are Georgia Tech and North Carolina. They are not going back to Berkeley to finish that game. They don't have the miles.

They don't have the frequent flyer while They don't Yeah That's where the half win comes And that half win then If I may piggyback Jason That's what gives Cal the tiebreaker To play in the ACC championship

Over I don't know Florida State Oh that's another bold prediction in the list Yeah Does the CW slide to like YouTube Like a channel Not YouTube TV I mean like a channel on YouTube

com Yeah Everybody else is that now I need you to know I'm not making up that there are games on true TV this year. No, I know you're not. Okay.

The Olympics kind of primed us for this, though, so that's at least a gentle shove. Okay, sure. Yeah, I don't know where they go, then. I think it's the kind of thing where you have to go to Best Buy and hope that they're showing it on the in-store TVs somehow. It's on my fridge. The gas station pumps.

Holy shit, Mario Lopez is showing with a C-Call. I'm Maria Menano, so you're watching N-Store. about the AMC early to play NC State Cal trivia Nicole Kidman telling me about the magic of the wolf pack What? All right, Spencer, pick a prediction. Oh, I'm just going to go ahead and headbutt this one

Run in headlong into it. Brendan, you're an evil fuck Because in all caps, it just says Florida head coach Jimbo Fisher You son of a bitch You know this is good Because it feels dangerous to even listen to it Being read out loud

All right, let's do pro con Let's do some pro con We're the cons I see half of this question Let's do pro pro pro baby Jimbo gets them paid Let's see pro pro you can probably have Jimbo for a song Right like that contract was fully guaranteed.

Not based on his previous pay history. No, no, no, no, no. So I think the way to do it is to, if you can convince him that it'll piss off A&M. Which is his true. This is his true revenge on A&M is to take this job. All you got to do is be like, Jimbo, say you're doing this for $100,000 and say that your love for football has been

rekindled. Just say that in a press conference and A&M fans will lose their minds. That's all they need. Some things are bigger than money. Oh, you're going to, tell that to ANF fans? You kidding me? Impossible. You could piss off A&M and Florida State at the same time. At the same time. And money.

They crave the caress of Jimbo. Nobody has ever craved the return of Jimbo Fisher. Have a Christmas tree set up for his arrival. For his opening press conference. His hair is just going to wilt down there in Central Florida. It's a waste of good plugs. Let's see. Other pros. I think it's useful to sort of like not have outsized expectations going in, you know?

Like every Florida hire that comes in, it's like, this is the guy who's going to fix it. This is the dad who's going to stick around. This is the dad who's going to step up. It's nice to know that mom's got a trash boyfriend this time, right? Like, we don't have to bond with him. We don't expect this to go well. there's some advantage to that from like an emo take care of your heart perspective I just wouldn't watch it's very simple goodbye oh mom's not serious about Jimbo

I don't have to I don't have to eat dinner with him it's fine we don't have to have a catch yeah I'm gonna put it this way I'll be wearing different clothes and he will be gone this is a seasonal thing yeah sure sure um the cons I don't know man I can't think of any Bunky Perkins threatened to make Dan Billsarion Florida's president and install Houston Nut as the head coach today. Bunky probably could do that. Whatever. Dan Billsarion would make a better hire than Scott Strickland.

I mean, it's fine. It's fine. Is it possible? So that's where I have a trouble. I am not quite seeing the road to Florida head coach Jimbo Fisher. Well, yeah, you're absolutely right, because first Billy Napier would have to get fired. Billy Mayabier has to get fired.

And then how many people have to say no before you get to Jimbo? He knows the area. All right. Honestly, if I had to go, how many people have to say no for you at Jimbo? 15. I don't know if you call it tan, but rotisserie rested and ready. What if this is what Ben Sassy was doing with all that money? Is that I saved me?

Yeah. He's just dark moneying it. The dark money for Jimbo. Yeah. Jimbo, we're going to let you coach remote. I mean, you'd feel better about all that. money going to Jimbo than various right wing causes. So really, this is a heroic maneuver. What a terrible choice you presented me with. Football's good for you.

Football wastes the money of rich people. Therefore, it's good. If Jimbo Fisher accepted... I don't know, man. I said this a couple years ago about Elonson and rich people into space. And look what happened. That's true. If Jimbo Fisher... The ocean has been our friend in that regard. If Jimbo Fisher accepted a large contract from Florida, that would mean that he had taken money from Florida State, Texas A&M, and Florida as a head coach. The amount of blood money or laundered money that has entered Jimbo Fisher's pockets is tremendous. Sure. Huge.

Yeah. Well, think of all the worst people who could have it. Yeah. I'm just going to blow it on ATVs and hunting. See, that's just wholesome. Really, he's just doing what must be done. Not hair plugs. Jimbo keeps it real.

Holly, do you have a palate cleanser, please, God? Not exactly, but I have a pair of predictions that, okay, I really, I'm very fond of these two because they arrived back to back in our inbox. So I'm just going to read them together. From Burner, MSU redeems from Hitler, from David, another Michigan State Hitler scandal. I did check, and David did send this in after this. this week's preceding Hitler scandal. I wonder if, could they do, like, a Hitler scandal that is also a redemption from the previous

Hitler scandal? Like, they, like, do something that is so extreme as a reaction to their first Hitler scandal that people are like, okay, your heart's in the right place, but this is still, this is still pretty weird. Ooh. So, I don't know. I'm just trying to think of a way to combine those. So, like, maybe if you had a halftime show where, like, over the horizon comes giant

Macy's Day parade balloon Hitler Oh no, this is terrible But then they like shoot it down or something Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or they have like There's a guy who's Hitler And they stab him for real, you know? Right, right. And they're like, oh, like, symbolically murder Hitler.

It's sort of like, well, why did you do this in the first place? And it's like, because we felt bad about the trivia. It's like, Michigan State, it was just a scoreboard. Every should make him jokes, you know you don't actually like Hitler. You didn't have to kill somebody. And then it's going to turn out that they stole the 3D print design for the balloon. Oh, sure. the way this is going.

Yep. Because again, if you weren't, if you missed us last week, Michigan State is actually in trouble again for what we love to keep calling the Hitler incident, which is always something you want appended to your program's wiki page. Because the Hitler trivia that they got in trouble for displaying

during the halftime show turns out was copyrighted material that they had used without permission. Or as Jason put it so beautifully, they wanted Hitler so bad that they stole him. Student fees. misappropriated for Hitler stunt. Feels like it would maybe check a lot of box.

Reminding everyone that the banner ad on the ad on the ribbon board, yeah. The banner ad underneath it says, We never drop the ball. Yeah, yeah. You know who else never dropped the ball? He only dropped one as far as I know. Not too.

This was also, I didn't, I also forgot that this is pre-game. Yeah. Yeah. Like, then you had to go watch. This was just on a, this was on a normal,

and the weather, by the way, the weather in the background looks so Michigan Statey. Like, it's about to start raining tax. I mean, and it's like,

well, maybe, when that happens, you're like, well, maybe Michigan State, Michigan will be a football game that will sort of

knock out the Hitler from everybody's public conscience. Nope. Got shut out. That's right. I went back to do this again. And the photo choice. of Hitler is so weird, like he looks

puckish. It's the Instagram photo of Hitler. He looks mischievous. He looks like a mischievous prankster. It's his avie. It's like, mm-hmm. Just a little guy. Oh, if you could

picture, if you could picture Hitler going ain't I a stinker? Like, this is that picture. If Michigan has, if Michigan is in form, the next time they host Michigan State, they will have a trivia contest and all of them will be so close to potentially being hit by like

it'll be like name a famous Austrian painter they'll be like the answer is Gustav Klimt Egon shield you know it'll always be these answers they're so close to Hitler which of these two do you think if you have to pick one of these

Hitler redemption or second Hitler's scandal which one do you think is more likely based on the volume of available evidence I kind of have to go with the second one Hitler scandal. That's right. That's absolutely true. I mean, I do think it's, um, there, like, there's got to be some attempt at Hitler redemption in terms of Michigan has got to attempt to redeem themselves from the Hitler scandal. Listen, I hear what you're saying. There's a lot of recent history that suggests that's not true. What, Michigan state wise? No, just in the world at

large. Okay. I just feel like there's going to be just like a, um, over the top apology of of some sort that will just itself unsettle everyone. That's going to accidentally play like tomorrow belongs to me in the background or something. Sound of Music, halftime show. Cabaret halftime show. It's just going to lead to more problems down the road because for some reason, Michigan State's largest booster in the future will also somehow, unfortunately,

have the last name Stalin or something. They're like, it's like, I want to name the stadium after me. They're like, yeah. are Stalin's. Holly, I heard it. I heard it, Holly. Do you know how hard a stadium would have to look to be, to deserve the name Stalin Stadium?

Man of steel. Can you imagine that architecture? Brutal. All right. I'll do another one. This one comes from Nate. And I really just don't know what it means, which is why I picked it.

Pop-Tart mascot gets revenge. Ooh, that's a good way to do it. Who, on whom? My understanding, and granted, I was not, I'm not part of a Pop-Tart, boy, you know, I don't know. But it felt like everything that happened to the Pop-Tart mascot was much like the Passion play, like something that the Pop-Tart mascot went along with. The Pop-Tart mascot was willing to be toasted. The Pop-Tart mascot was willing to be consumed. by Kansas State football players.

I'm not entirely sure who the target of the Pop-Tart's mascot revenge would be. I think it would be the executives who assembled the whole thing and what was really meant to be a private moment between consenting adults was broadcast to the entire world.

So I think that the Pop-Tarts revenge will be against. um george pop-tart CEO of the pop-tart company yeah yeah jerry Seinfeld yes yeah oh yeah if the answer is Jerry Seinfeld specifically I'm

I'm on board with this okay I love that he was like you can't do comedy anymore because of what and then he made a Pop-Tart movie he's he was right apparently the ultimate third rail of comedy breakfast the third rail is the first meal Is it me?

Yeah, go ahead. I like this one from Jackson. CU is average, angering everyone. I assume C.U means Colorado. Yeah. Though Clemson being average, that only angers Clemson fan, so I'm guessing that doesn't mean C.U.

Colorado being average is kind of a fascinating thing to think about, because at this point, I don't even know you have to wrap your mind around what that would even mean. Right, right. What would that constitute? Six and six. But, like, then they're at a bowl and, like, oh, you got them to a bowl game. And it's like...

Okay, five and seven then. Or do you place them exactly at the midpoint of their conference? So, like, getting them to a bowl, it would be their first since... Well, they went to one in 2020. No, that doesn't. It's their first that, you know, anyone to actually remember since 2016. That'd be an achievement. After talking all that shit, it wouldn't be much of an achievement, but it would be an achievement, right?

What if it's in the manner of play, and, like, there's just, there's no, there's no, there's no, they're a work-a-day team who wins some, they beat the teams they're supposed to be, they don't beat the teams they're not supposed to be, and they produce absolutely no flashy highlight plays whatsoever. So they're so exactly like Clemson. There are totals at most places, five, five, five, five. So, they could pull an NC State and go exactly five. I feel like if, at this point, if they don't go to a bowl, failure, jokes, L.O.L. Everyone points. and laughs, and it's the exact same thing all over again for another offseason, right? If they do go to a bowl, then it's like, okay, going from 1 and 11 to a bowl in two years, objectively decent job, not worth all the, all the hot hair, but the hot hair was enjoyable. So, like, I, I don't know if there is an average Colorado. Like, I don't know if it's possible.

Does that kind of, does that kind of fit in with our NC State theme of breaking math this year? Yeah. Does this kind of like unknown integer of a finish for Colorado actually fit in with this set that we're building? Yeah, there's like an uncertainty principle to it. I don't think, I don't think there is anything they could do that would qualify as like boring in the sense of like, oh, there's nothing to, there's nothing to yell at each other about here. So, I mean, yeah, if they were average and they played like that kind of ball where they were like, well, we ran it on first and second. then there was a short pat like if they played like really boring because that you know pat shirmer's that's what i'm thinking that's what i'm thinking is that like talk about not knowing what something

looks like yeah they they took the governor off bad shirmer what's you know and then pat shirmer went all pat shirmer so they have like like shuders like throwing the ball within 3.1 seconds and yeah like they're really that was solved half their problems it's all like three yard rounds Yeah, and another five-yard out to the tight end. It's second and six. Yeah, it's second and... It's always second and six. Yeah, it's third and five.

Yeah, that's what... If they do that and they play that kind of ball, that would be the most disciplined. And it's another Colorado field goal. Yeah. Like, we have, in this game, we have a grand total of, say, 41 points. A lot them as you see fit.

So we have another game like last year when, you know, the whole world is suddenly aware of Colorado state, Colorado, we have that again, but the celebs are like, this is so fucking boring. We're never doing this again. So once we get to that point, we will have achieved this bold prediction. I guess that's the way you get you. It can only be stylistically average, because the record will be interesting no matter what. Okay. Yeah, I'm glad we talked our way through this, and now I really want to see boring. Now it's an extremely bold prediction because, like, to get to stylistically average, both lines

have a lot of works for Colorado. Yeah. So I guess that's improvement too? I don't know. But even average, I don't know if that would mean

in terms of competence. Like, they're just, they're giving up like really boring sacks, you know. Yeah, sure. Right.

Speaking of boring sacks, Spencer, you got a prediction? She meant like saxophone-wise, probably. Yep. Yep. I do.

You're fine. Calm down. Keep going. I think you're great at the saxophone, buddy. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm going to take Keith. Keith has given me one that is,

it's classic. It's classic. We've seen it before. We're going to see it again. Old Miss implodes, comma, Mrs. Bull. Entirely. possible.

Wow. Oh, this might, this one might require the schedule game. Um, yeah, yeah. Let's go ahead and take it to the old miss football schedule because I don't. They're coming in number six. Coming in number six, which, again, we're not, we're preaching to the choir. Oh my God. Did you guys know they're opening up?

They're opening with Furman. Yeah. Does this have a rivalry trophy? Is it just a tweet that says, why can't I? say it? They probably win that Furman game. Okay.

They probably win that middle Tennessee game. Two and no, sure. Positive start. The CW debut 6.30 p.m. at Wake Forest. I'll, hell, I'll, that's, I'll, I'll grant them, I'll grant them

four and oh. Okay. No, Deke's gonna get that at it. Actually, you know what, this, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look at the balance of the schedule. You can actually see this happening here because the word that our predictor Keith used was imploded. This schedule does allow for a hot start and then a series of interestingly trajectory plummets. You can get to 5 and O, and then you have almost entirely road games and or rank.

After that point, it's nothing but road, rank, and right. and ranked or ranked and road, yeah. Or rival. And then the egg pole. The real problem you have is that you need at least, you need them to lose to either Kentucky or South Carolina. I don't think that's a problem at all. Okay, okay.

Well, first of all, not necessarily need because if he wanted, you could find several losses in the latter half. Yes, but if they get through the South Carolina game, undefeated, they won't miss a bowl game. They'll be. Oh, right, right, sorry, miss a bowl game. that's, that's the issue. But again, we're, we're, we're preaching to the choir because old Miss fans are nodding

and going, oh, yeah, like, we get, it's like, you could lose that game. They're like, mm-hmm, absolutely. Like, they won't, they don't love the notion of getting beat, but they will cheerfully acquiesce to the notion of dick tripping. I mean, what, what is the, the win total for Old Miss this year, I'm guessing is probably in the 10-game range? Yeah, something like that. Uh, an half.

Yeah. Okay. So to get to be four games worse than that with a schedule that, like, doesn't have a... Again, once you get past Kentucky, it's either road game or ranked game or ranked game on the road. Like, it's... Or egg bowl. Or egg bowl. Right.

Right. Just to knock this off real quick, it is at South Carolina, at LSU, by week, Oklahoma, at Arkansas, Georgia at Florida Egg Bowl. I don't, yikes. Yeah. I'm sorry, they have another buy between Georgia and Florida, which actually would make the implosion even funnier. Like if you had time to fix it and you just kind of bore down too hard and things got worse.

All you need, listen, all you need are one or like, like, just basic, hey, need one or two injuries at certain spots and you need team chemistry to absolutely go. in the toilet, which, given the popping fresh nature of Lane Kiffin's rosters, who knows how they're actually going to come out onto the field. Like, I'm not, I'm not saying he has locker room issues. I'm saying that there is right now

like no real way of knowing what that locker room is coalescing into, because a lot of them are brand new. This would be, this, I don't think this is as spicy as 11 win Rutgers, because what could be, really. Yeah, but what is friend?

But, uh, An Old Miss team that started number six, here's the other thing. If Old Miss starts the season, preseason ranked number six and ends up missing a bowl and obviously not getting ranked, everybody's going to talk about that USC team

that Lane Kiffin was the head coach of that started the year number one and finished the year unranked. It will become, like they will become trapped in narrative hell. And that's where this could get really unpleasant. Ryan? That sure did happen.

I may have consulted the history books under the Lane Kiffa chapter when I saw this and went, Hmm. History doesn't rhyme, but it echoes. Hey, Spencer, I am, uh, I'm looking in the prize picks app, um, which I, I believe you are as well at this time. I'm looking right now. Um, and as you know, it's week zero in college football. Mm-hmm. So I'm looking to, um, decide whether some college football guys will have number big or little. Um, and I'm looking at some of the numbers that are next to the names of college football guys.

And I'm just going to, I'm just going to, I'm just going to, I'm just going to, I'm just going to tell you a few of my favorite plays, a term you can use this week in the prize picks app. Haynes King, quarterback of Georgia Tech. Now, when I tell you about a number like 196.5 passing yards, I see that number, and I'm like, more. More number. That's what we're going to get, okay?

However, I want to know what you have to say about that number. when it comes from Haynes King quarterback Georgia Tech 196.5 more you know what when I think the Republic of Ireland I definitely think weather conducive to passing conditions and for high flying office no no I say less less less okay okay I guess we'll see during week zero also additionally in prize picks I see number next to Malik Benson Florida State wide receiver, 54.5 receiving yards. Florida State, they're going much farther than that to get to Ireland. I'm going more.

I think it would be very easy for them to have, for him to have 55, 57, 63 receiving yards. Oh, it's crazy. He could get all that one play Saturday morning. I could be correct by 11.15 a.m. Eastern. It's nice when you knock out errands early in the day. It is good. you know when I look at the prize picks app and I see that you know what I think Jason I remember I remember what yellow jackets do they swarm to the ball I'm gonna say less less call me

dr. Les unbelievable unbelievable okay okay I see how this is and finally our final prize picks in the prize picks app available this week Florida State kicker Ryan Fitzgerald is also in here okay he's got a number by his name as well 7.5 kicking points. I don't, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it's, I, I, it's, I, it's, uh, it's, it's, uh, it's, it's, it's, uh, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, soccer country, right? That's what they like over there, rugby, right? There's no, is there kicking in rugby? I don't know. There is kicking in rugby, yeah. Okay, great. Um, so there'll be plenty of that. And 7.5 kicking points. Every football game has at least 7.5 kicking points. More.

Well, I'm going to kick this point right here. Less. Less. Oh, God. You fucking hate her. His name is Ryan Fitzgerald. He's going to Ireland. Do you know what he's not going to do? He's not going to upstage or grandstand or beat or stand tall. and be a me first kind of guy? No, he's going to, he's going to stay humble. He's going to stay, he's going to kick just as much as he needs to. Less. All right, folks, that was our prize picks segment in which we read the numbers next to names.

And Spencer says less. Less this less. This episode of the shutdown forecast is brought to you by prize picks. America's number what? Daily fantasy sports out, Polly? I believe that number is one. The number is one. And Price Fix, it's all about numbers.

It's you against the numbers. Numbers, they want to take away the things that make you happy. That's why we don't use them here on the shutdown forecast, just letters. This is a letters-only podcast. All you do, you pick more or less on two to six-player stat projections. You get in on the daily action with your friends and become part of the Price-Pix community to less. Today, you can do more or less, right? Heck, anyone can.

That's right. This is a game for adults, much like this podcast. Adults who can sign up today and get $50 instantly when they play $5. You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. Yeah, and trust me, this is something so simple, even I can do it. And by that, I mean a fool, an absolute fool. you just select number less or number more as previewed in previous segment. Can I attempt some math here? Because I want to try some math.

I know we said we weren't going to do math. I would like to try some math. You're telling me, okay, I am to understand that I can now win up to 100 times my money on prize picks with as little as four correct picks, which means I can turn $10 into $1,000? Yeah. That's math, but it feels correct. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's also an emotional truth. It's amazing. You can, you can do more or less on 2024 season stats. Like, if you're like, I have thoughts about more or less, Jaguars, will there be more Jaguars or less Jaguars? Only you can decide. Fewer Jaguars. Oh, shit.

Which is, which is available. Less Jaguars implies they are illiquid and you should watch your intake of them, which is, which is. accurate. Do not, don't get too high on that stuff. Less Jaguars is actually the name of a personal injury

attorney in the United Kingdom. He'll get you your money. Hello, I'm Les Jaguars. Price Fix is available in more than 30 states across the country, including California,

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Less. More. More. Less. Less Jaguaz. I'd like to go with a topical one. And I've got two Auburn predictions here that I'd like to pair. And one of them is, one of them I think speaks for itself.

It's from longtime friend of the program verb. And I don't actually think this is super bold. I just love the way it's phrased. Freeze excels until the incident. I don't really think anything else needs to be said here. What really interested me was this prediction from Heart of Auburn, which I assume is an Auburn fan. And the prediction is as follows.

Auburn avenges 2013. Now, Heart of Auburn did not choose to use the remaining two words in the prediction allotment to specify what about 2013. Auburn would be seeking to avenge in the 2024 college football season I took the liberty of looking up some of the bigger news events of 2013 to see what they might be seeking revenge for

the Boston Marathon bombing of course was first I don't know in which direction they might want to they might want to avenge that there was the government shutdown I think we know how Auburn might feel about that so we can probably

disqualify that. The death of Nelson Mandela which I'm pretty sure was from natural causes. I'll get you natural causes. Detroit files for bankruptcy. I don't know. Alabama is tornado country. A major tornado hit Oklahoma that year. Perhaps Auburn is striking back in solidarity against the concept of tornadoes.

The one that we're probably going to have to cut out that I really think they're no never mind they won't want to avenge being acquitted um Jesus most see Whitey Bulger getting life in prison

oh good for him I mean do we feel like they're gonna want to push back on that a lot of boss in this for some reason why he did nothing wrong okay nope no I need words words that I need to just put back into my mouth to not do on a clip

podcast is saying those words in that order. Yeah, especially right. We're talking about Auburn here. Jesus. But the one that I, the one that I landed on because near and dear to Auburn's heart in a number of ways, the Snowden leaks. Oh, sure. Sure.

So best of luck to Auburn on these various quests. I believe in them. Yep. I, except to the extent that that's the wrong choice, which frequent. is um here is you say did nothing wrong mr bulger don't don't do this mr bulger mark bulger did nothing wrong that's true that's that's very true i've said that before just because the greatest show on turf didn't reach the same heights doesn't mean it was mark

bulger's fault points or points all right uh this one comes from kyle this is statistically even more challenging than 11 win ruckers. Iowa scores less without Brian. I truly don't know if that can be done. Wait, it's just like a fightback

tribute, like the players who wore pro Pat Fitzgerald shirts? I'm trying to see how many games have to be canceled. Okay. I mean, it's... How far inland can, does Iowa have any hurricaneable opponents? Uh, maybe, yeah

Yeah Let's see I don't know who's in their conference now So I'm really asking You could, you could get there, I suspect The hurricane Illinois State Hurricane It happens

Uh, let's see At UCLA, I mean, sure Washington Maryland, they play at Maryland Washington Volcano Mm-hmm That's a home game for Iowa But

Well, I know, it's really big they're being final the Washington Husky's football team is being final destination by the volcano they did cause a rift in death design like Iowa scored 15.4 points per game last year

which I was there was the other day I was looking up like who was the worst NFL offense of the last however because like last year the Patriots scored 14 13.9 and it was like oh my God that's impossibly bad. So to remember once again that the Iowa Hawkeyes were almost that bad, down here in wacky ball college sports where defense is fake to have a 2023 Patriots grade offense

in college football, we're just going to be appreciating this one forever. That's a mass. Yeah, I mean, like granted, 15.4 was down from 17.7 in 2022. So like Iowa has shown us that there are levels of. subfloor that you can continue to fall through theoretically but at some point at some point there you do reach a point where it feels impossible to to not score more points than that and also like iowa was so hurt for a lot of the for a lot of the schedule like yes the offense was bad but also i think god just didn't want to see iowa's score points also they had the crutch of tory taylor

like why bother scoring yes he's just going to pin him on the one yeah yeah and he got he got to go to work a lot of office hours down he could have kept office hours down there yeah um i i mean i will say this what vindication it would be for brian if iowa only scored 12 points a game this year brian ferrance who i believe is the offensive line coach at maryland this year so like if he if he gets to just if he gets to just be like oh oh guess guess somebody's not the dumbest son in the world after hall that would be nice for him I think I really so

there was this a little boomlet of oh I was going to be better which categorically yes had to happen and then reports out of spring practice are like heck hey MacMare I can't hit the broad outside of a barn, man. It might still be really bad. It's going to be bad. Also, most people think he's like, like a lot of,

a lot of people who are Iowa adjacent, they don't think Kate's going to have that job for long. Yeah, it's going to be bad. I, it's, I, it's very hard to say like, if, like, if it will be bad because Iowa proves that, the result doesn't necessarily have to matter based on the one part of the team. Yeah, the team will be good.

Yeah. But. Boy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Also, like, the number, like the numbers,

if you look at what I believe is Brendan Sullivan, is the quarterback who's really pushing him for that. His numbers are like, was 10 for 22 in the scrimmage. They're not, it's still ass. It's ass by design. I am curious,

because one of the, one thing I think at least find interesting about the Iowa, uh, Iowa versus offense saga. Iowa fans are not, are, are kind of defensive about it. Like,

they are not as worked up about it as everybody who's outside of the Iowa circle. Mm-hmm. But. that cannot last forever and if it somehow got worse after brian ferens was let go i do wonder like if if there would you would see some sort of crack at some point where it would just be like this is even i a person who loves wallpaper paste cannot eat any more of this wallpaper paste so delicious though yeah full of fibers it's so sticky so what i'm hearing Nine wins for the Iowa Hawkeyes.

Yeah, nine. Oh, yeah, entirely possible. Nine wins and nine points per game. One day I'm going to get out of the mortuary business, but God damn if it doesn't pay, I can't look at another body. But then, every other Friday, brother. They keep making them. I don't know what to do. You know, I get up off the slab, so to speak.

Just keep walking. all right uh spencer deliver a bold prediction it can be your own oh no i like this one a lot i like the let's steer into this okay it's from oas game day post election get someone fired i did not pair this i did not pair this in the chat uh with a couple but there is there's a prediction from matt uh six rows down that says uh spencer can you read the second prediction from matt a euros down from that one. It might go together. Kirk Herb Street discusses taxation laws. There we go. I'm seeing

a correlation here. Why is Kirk Herb Street coming to us live from the Virgin Islands? The U.S. Virgin Islands, every show. So I'm going to play a different version of the schedule game here. We're going to look at Saturday. Does Pat McAfee get fired? Saturday,

November 9th. Does Sabin fire him himself on camera? When does Sabin punch Pat McAfee? Tired of you, BJ. Funny Bunny. here are what i think are your location options for college college game day on the saturday after election day a day when probably nothing will be settled to be clear number one with a bullet maybe not a term i should use right now apologies georgia at old miss oh i'm sorry i'm really sorry to the earlier game that i termed the why can't i say it bowl the number two option

in my opinion number five Alabama at number 13 LSU That's a number two option In a number of ways Oklahoma at Mizzou Like Oh no, that's the sleeper hit

That is the sleeper hit What I'm trying to do is find a game That I can say, okay Where is like somewhere neutralish That game day could go Where like you're probably not going to have to be like God we really got a filter Florida at Texas

that's not a good option either That's a very bad option All right here it is Oklahoma Mizzu is the snake in the grass option Which is why I think that's where they might go Here is the one option that might work Except it's an NBC game of course Florida State at Notre Dame

Maybe Maybe I understand I've seen I'm seeing all sorts of There's possibilities there Okay okay okay I think the answer is For the career safety of everyone

involved, game day should operate from the studio on Saturday, November 9th, 2024. That's the week per year when they do some cutesy little FCS game, but then it's like, oh God, everyone here is insane as well. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't. Wait, let's do a cutesy school today. Y'all, let's go to Liberty. Might be a fun day there. We'll see. Zesty. I got a fun one. Okay.

I got an actually fun one. Okay. From user Alex, multiple northwestern punts in Lake. Yeah. That's a great one. I like it. What? Do you think they'll go?

I just think it'll look fun. Maybe they'll get a swimming dog. Watch them, watch them bounce around on the ice. Yeah. It would be nice to have, oh yeah, I didn't consider the possibility of on Lake later in the season. Do you think either Northwestern or a visiting opponent will jump in the lake after, like, a huge win? No, because you can catch a really nasty infection by jumping into Lake Michigan. Okay.

I'm going to go with no because... I'm going to stop college students from doing that. Yeah, right. No, because there are no huge wins that happen there. Looking at the schedule, I am inclined to agree. They're going to celebrate by running full tilt face first into the wall at Wrigley. That'll happen in the illegal. Illinois Northwestern game.

All of the nagging locals being like, you're going to get the water dirty. Let's see. Your home game options are Miami of Ohio. I don't think they're going to do it. Duke, Eastern Illinois. Will Eastern Illinois jump in the lake if they beat Northwestern on September 14th?

I say maybe. Let's do it. They deserve it. Right? Home of Richard Roper. I give that idea two thumbs. There's one more I like. I, um,

Oh, we didn't do either of the pink ones. There was one, somebody said in one that was like 16 way Big 12 tie, and it was like, I think that, so we all mourned and lamented the loss of the ACC Coastal. The Big 12 is now the ACC coastal. Yeah. Just every team in there, every team in the Big 12 could beat any other team in the Big 12. So like if you're telling me there's a conference where everyone is going to end up in one big logjam, yes. I feel like the Big 12 is where the like dodgy unlicensed college football went. We're going to get some very officialish kind of football out of the Big Ten and the SEC.

But the Big 12 is where like when you can't purchase your favorite illicit kind of vape anymore, right? They're like, yeah, that had pesticide and methamphetamine in it, it turns out. But they still sell it in the Big 12. That's where we can go get that. That's where we can go get a 12 way. tie. That's where we can go get the third string quarterback who throws for 4,000 yards in like nine weeks. Yeah. The Big 12 is the new Pack 12 in that sense. Yes. Right. Do you think huge multi-team tie in the Big 12 is a bold prediction though? Or is it just the destiny that we

have been marching towards? I think that huge is a bold prediction and also I am looking forward to it. Like I remember this I remember last year there was a there was a there was a there was a point where we were like okay we have to look deep into the big 12 tiebreaker procedures because like Iowa state was still in the race and I think West Virginia was like there were there were too many teams to go towards and like I'm excited to see how how this could how this could like really stress the big 12's tiebreaker scenarios because the ones where the sense no the ones that end with somebody drawing straws in a boardroom somewhere? Yeah, well, because like normally the way you avoid this is you're like, and the Big 12 has had the easiest time of doing this is they're like, you know, famously, for years it was this is the only conference where everybody plays everybody.

Brother, that is not true anymore. We have loved those days in the fucking dust. And that creates so many interesting tiebreaker problems for you when you're like, okay, well, what happened between these two teams? They haven't played in three years. interesting, that seems like a problem. How many years will it be until, like, UCF Oklahoma State

happens? I don't know. Right. Right. There needs to be a name for that because it's almost like one of those weird out-of-phase moons that happens, right? Like, oh, that's the Lobsterman's moon. This is the super moon game. That's when UCF finally ends up playing Oklahoma or whatever. Like, yeah. Can you, I need this to happen. This is one of those ones where I needed to happen just

based on the joint pre-game press conference. What do Gus and Mike Gundy talk about? Football. Does it feel like there's almost a language barrier there? Yeah. Hats, maybe visors? Okay, hats. That's safe, yeah.

Do you play golf? No. I like your head. I like your head. Is it like eggs? How they, how they eat eggs? Do you know what? I think they both talk about how they don't want the operant job, probably.

Yeah. In theory or from experience. A rich conversation between Gus Mels on. in Mike Gundy. A conversation in the round. It's all like, nope, you don't want it. Yeah, hypothetically, I don't want it either. I bet there's a good chain restaurant discussion.

I bet they're like, you ever had the Alfredo at Olive Garden? It's pretty good. Caravis is the way to go, man. And then they punch it down. And then they end up tussle of carabas is on Sundays. Well, if I had oil money, I guess I'd be eating at Carabas too, Mike. It's like, I don't hold with him. If Gus

He took his wife to Karabas I'd be like, what a sweet man. If Gundy did it, I'm like, you fucking sheepskate. You should build your wife of Karabas in your fucking backyard, you cheap, fuck. I'm like that you're basically creating some sort of Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde's scenario with these. Yeah, I think so.

They kind of are. That Gus Malzana and Mike Gundy are the same guy just under different faces. No, no. Like Gundy is, is Gus's Mario, basically. I think he's more of a Waluigi.

Shape-wise, yes. Yeah, that's true. I think both Gundy and M. Al-Zan both have $24 million worth of someone else's money. Gus's is in, as we've discussed before, the savings account with a like 0.8

APR interest, right? Right, right. All of his clothes that are not Nike are Kirkland. Correct. I bought Marshall's gift cards With my sign of bonus Like Orlando's the best town

Because he's like You know there's a Ross around the corner There's a Ross, you ever seen a Ross outlet? It's amazing Yeah, it's amazing Whereas Gundy definitely has $24 million On the discount? Yeah

Gundy also has $24 million. All the Gundy's money is in like Snake Skin Crypto It's somehow crypto That he's managed to get in physical form Just so he can bury it This is crypto made out of bullet shards You'll have never seen anything like it.

It's for the troops. He is the only man who's ever buried crypto. It's under a concrete slab in his new house. He has to bust it out like John Wick.