Shutdown Fullcast - Boss Baby Nick Saban: Week 1 Review

Episode Date: September 4, 2018

I, Ryan Nanni, write the descriptions for these episodes, but I was not available for this one, so I'm going to guess that Jason, Spencer, and Holly talked about:Scott Frost Day, on which Nebraska allowed no points and, shoot, no yards BLACKSHIRTS BACKTexas's commitment to making the Big Ten a deeper conference before the Longhorns themselves join the Big TenMaybe some earnest talk about Washington-Auburn, idkSpencer fawning over Ole MissConsiderably too much talk about...Hawaii, maybe? Let's say HawaiiMinimal talk about West Virginia-Tennessee because fearPondering Miami fans dressed up like Canes Iron Giant or whatever going back to their hotel in full costume just totally bummed Also, this was recorded before the FSU-VT game, so if there's no talkin' bout the Noles, that's why. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

welcome to the shutdown full cast i am spencer hall of every day should be saturday and sb nation dot com we're going to talk college football this week actual college football live college football with results and scores and tiny little fits thrown by tiny little man who even standing on top of a stack of all that money given to them by the glorious aristocracy of the state of alabama still probably not as tall as the average american male who could i be talking about no clue Jeff Sessions. Enough. Stick to sports.

Okay. Nick Saban is boss baby. Yeah, that's... I'm Spencer Hall. That's Holly Anderson. Nice. Yeah. And also joining us here.

Oh, hey, Jason Kirk. What's going on, sir? Boss, baby. You have to stick up for yourself. The fake news media is disrespecting you, boss. The operative word being up. This mission is to recruit. Oh, my God.

All Metal Gear's About is recruiting. Holy crap, this falls in the line, doesn't it? Plus, you need to lobotomize the recruits and deliver him to Alabama before the fake meeting catches you. We just can't call Nick Saban Big Boss. That's the only, no. He's, um, he is, they, they have the one called like punished snake. Yeah.

That's Nick Saban. Yeah. Punished. Punished by excellence. That's right. My favorite DJ Caled. album punished by excellence here i love working so much i'm going to instagram 17 hours a day about how i'm working that's not nick sabin to be clear no no no no there is no there is no

if there is a nick sabin ghost instagram account i hope it's a lot like jesse palmers quietly poignant and it's just like rusting water towers yeah it's just the grapes of wrath yeah there is a steinbeck reference this week in college football and we will get to that okay, because it involves one of the largest disappointments. But can I say consistent disappointments? Like, so consistent at this point that I wonder if it's... That's it. Consistent disappointment.

The turtle crossing a road. The turtle chapter is great. And that actually is related to it because Tom Herman and Texas, you know how the turtle and Steinbeck's basically like, yeah, the turtle's undefeated. Guess who else is undefeated? The turtle. Mm-hmm. Maryland.

Yeah, we got to talk We gotta get Bo on here I want a monologue That might get him fired I don't think you want Nobody at ESPN listens to the show You know that's true We should just get him on here

And let him speak on it Let him speak from his heart He's got something on his heart Yes he does He's got the weight of How many losses to Maryland at this point? Two Yeah, two in a row

Two straight losses The stat that, like, Maryland has, or something, that Maryland has, like, six wins over top 10 teams in the past whatever decade, and two of them are Texas. Yeah, man. Don't give them one-third of their resume at all. I'm fudging the numbers there, but somebody mentioned it on the broadcast, and it was bad. All you need to know is that it was troubling enough to Tom Herman, that in the press conference, today, today being the Monday.

he referenced of mice and men. I don't, I don't want to know what characters were what characters. It doesn't end well for the big guy in that book. Maybe that's what he was talking about. I don't know, man. I can't tell you what's wrong with, I can't tell you what's wrong with Texas. But it's, it's not good. Too much money.

Isn't that our, isn't that what the soundboard would say? So much money. So much money. That's actually better than the soundboard, does it? Yeah, I mean, I don't know how you lose when you have a guy named Little Jordan Humphrey on your team. It shouldn't happen, especially when Little George Humphrey is arguably the best receiver on your team. You're going to waste a career of Little George Humphrey on like an 8 and 4, 7 and 5 Texas team. I do like that I saw someone had a take that was like, listen, the real story here is how Charlie Strong left this cupboard empty.

The roster doesn't have any talent on it. It's like, wait, what? the fuck didn't we just do this three years ago are we just going to do this every three years just ignore uh you know top 10 top 15 top 20 recruiting and just keep saying that the previous coach left the cupboard dry is this does this excuse work forever i don't get it like yes mac brown sucked for his last couple years and charlie had to do this is where i think the agis beat him again like literally did we just forget that happen they ever think about that or cry themselves to sleep thinking about that into their wafoo pillow that they

they put little white pants on. This is my wafu pillow, Kaylee. She's perfect. With three E's. Three E's. Wait, you can't have a, are there a boy wafu pillows? Because you can't have a girl. Those are, uh, Husbu.

Husbu. Those are cadet boo. The, that's where, that's where maybe what Texas needs to do, right? That, that the, the, the theory being that Austin is too nice, they have too much money. There's absolutely no ways that anybody could play with the hard edge When you live in a place as gloriously soft as Austin That's where the Aggies got them again Because where are they?

They're at a station You know whether you have stations The Outback and space Places you want to leave Yeah, that's it And like subways, transit Because Aggie football They're on the journey from excellence to glory, right?

It's quite a route it's taken some times it's taken hey you know what we're dealing in like it's a galaxy out there and life is a journey so to get to alpha centauri home of the first aggie national championship it might take 95 years 96 years now i say first first modern don't tell me what you claimed i don't care give me that first SEC championship how about that somewhere out there 94 light years the First, based on more than, like, Saggeran ratings that came along 80 years later. Yeah. Hey, still closer in Texas.

Am I right? No, I'm not right. No, actually. Yeah, hell yeah, you are. Hell yeah. Yeah, what? Let's see Texas win an SEC championship. They're never going to do that.

Who? Real quick, real quick, I wanted to do a podcast business. Business. Hold that business. Well, that's that business? Podcast business. Dick. So, we did a live show in Atlanta on Friday.

We've heard about it several times. It was awesome. The place was sold out, by the way. And, yeah, we're going to do more of these. As Holly said, at the time, none shall know the hour. Fuckos. But we will, you know, we'll look to put together another plan. We'd like to move all around, see all you folks.

We do have some merch. for sale online now. Couple shirt designs, hopefully a lot more coming. You can go to SB Nation Store and search Shutdown Fullcast. There is a promo code there as well. Come fan with us, all one word. And yeah, all the usual stuff, Twitter and Reddit and so forth. We're looking to get the live show Epp out and published as soon as we can.

Listen, this sounds like some fullcast-ass stuff, but we don't currently have possession of the episode we will we will obtain it um we've sent an onion snake to uh to retrieve it and he'll be exfiltrated with it any day now and then we'll see how much of the audio we actually got because while yes we recorded an extremely professional venue with actual professionals helping but we are brand tainted the entire experience we did lose a little bit of it toward the end but we'll see how much we can salvage um so yeah that was podcast business brought to you by nobody nobody the sponsor of

Excelsior podcasts everywhere We already lost Hooper Tactical Mattresses Yes we did Yes we did Apparently too erotic even for the erotic arms Literally the erotic arms Of Hoover Tactical Firearms Also they didn't sell one of them

So that's fine They sold three No they didn't sell one as in zero And we left Ryan in the stage on a box Inside a box So that he could recover the audio Yeah in case you're wondering where he is He's on a mission

yeah he's poisoned snake snake snake snake snake's not the snake family oh uh one thing if one thing you should know about that uh will not be apparent from the audio is that there was a uh stark visual metaphor that occurred during the show um a little too on the nose we had a giant cockroach just strutting across the entire front of the stage like wait i missed that yeah yeah well No one knows where Holly was during recording. She was from a mysterious location. Everywhere and nowhere. But people in the front couple rows were like following the progress of this roach.

Someone compared it to the birds at Florida, Georgia, 2012. Bird touchdown. And of course, the cockroach is the state of Georgia state birds, so all was well. That was perfect. I thought that was absolutely ideal. The other moment that was extremely full cast in the show was. was Jason Kirk at one point being handed a beer by someone who then wanted to carry on a conversation.

Yeah, yeah, it was awesome. Georgia fan just walked past the front row, called me down, and gave me a beer. So I had a beer. And he informed me that the, I believe it was, either the High Museum or an adjacent museum used to be called the Toilet Museum. This is a piece of Atlanta history I was not up on.

No, go on. I'm intrigued. There were a lot more details. I was unable to jot them. down at the time but it was it was very good and appreciated and uh shout out to shout out to you know sharing that uh education with me yeah i was about to say uh that doing that in the middle of a podcast i've never seen that and you handled it beautifully you know the crowd was very participatory uh you'll hear on the audio you folks there is one particular audience member who just immediately was basically our sixth speaker, and of course, counting Holly and counting Brian

Floyd, who you'll hear tons of audio of, and Richard Johnson as well. Richard has a mic, and he participated, so I guess our seventh, but a Nebraska fan was extremely participatory, generously served throughout the evening by the local barkeep, and happened to be sitting next to my wife. I didn't even know this until later. My wife found later, you know, let me know that, hey, that guy y'all were talking to throughout the entire, like, first 20 minutes. I was sitting next to him, and he's really nice.

So shout out to that guy. He wins the, what, the audience Hiseman for the show? Yeah, he won the audience Hysman. In addition to that, though Nebraska football was canceled. His performance, I'm just going to get, make him one. I'm making him 1-0 on the season. Congratulations. You won your debut.

Yeah. Somebody honored Scott Frost Day. See? Someone. Somebody celebrated Scott, yeah. that is that is a great segue for us by the way to turn into um how do Nebraska do this weekend and like we go how did new stuff go my favorite thing that happened all week was corn nation our Nebraska blog which did an awesome job covering an awkward situation with their game being canceled they put up

game day grades grading like how they look in the tunnel walk how the grass look grass looked quality looked outstanding yeah the uh the akron nebraska game postponed due to weather at one point i heard you know there's lightning and 70 mile an hour winds and i thought yeah it's perfect that's exactly how you know you want like your midwestern debut to go right like how big ten is it there were 70 mile an hour winds and lightning that's what it took to cancel the game not 40 no we needed 70 It's right on the edge. I mean, if you get, if you get a fullback with a good tailwind, they say it can be beneficial.

You know, they're really actually more aerodynamic than one would think at speed. If a fullback is moving, like wind aided, are they like trying to slow down? You know, they're like, like when you're running downhill and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Deploy fullback flaps. No, I meant two bags of chips, right? Just like empty bags. Just holding out an open bag.

Open bag of feed. Yeah, just using a burlap sack of like... They're just holding a bucket above their head. Right. Just, you know, the SEC drag shoot. It's just a bag of red man, right? Empty. Got that.

Anything at like, there's no actual like, I think the theme to this week as you go, okay, well, we're actual surprises. There were, there were, there were very few. This is a paint by numbers week. Everything was according to script. I mean, like, yeah, Marilyn. over Texas. That's an upset, but we literally saw it last year.

Those may be a surprise for those who doubted the effect of Joe Moorhead upon Penn State's football team. And what his absence would reek. Like is this what we're looking for? Are we looking for little cracks early? Or you go, I don't know if that's going to hold,

boss. Boss, boss. Like, I don't know. I kind of think, like, you know, you look for it. You go, well, who's worried about Alabama? The only person worried about Alabama is Nick Saban. Which is honestly great. Like, good. Let him be miserable about it.

Yeah. Go in your stupid fucking championship and let the rest of us have fun. Up here in the rarefied air of being over 5'5. The rest of us have other things to do. Like, sorry, sorry, Stresh. It's so tall up here. John Crackhauer's writing about me, right? Like, that's... I think the only...

The only part about that whole thing that pissed me off was like, I mean, yeah, he said, you know, he was, he was a dick on national TV, but okay, whatever. It was a heated moment. And he later apologized and tried to explain it, fine, whatever. Like, I just hated Bama fans just immediately leaping to defensive it. Like, huh? His polo matches my social media, avie. I think this is great. Like, can we get past that at some point ever, maybe? Just say like, yeah, coach just pissed off. He sounded like a dick. You should apologize. That's fine to say. It should be fine to say, too, that you go, you go, oh, you know, that's inexcusable to be that way to Maria Taylor. I agree. Also, I would point out, Maria Taylor probably pretty happy with the results, actually, because what you want in the sideline interview immediately after a game isn't, you know, we were good. We were good. Thanks, Maria, thanks. No, you don't want that.

You want Nick Sama to walk over and say some irresponsible garbage. I would go to jail. willingly to watch Maria Taylor rest her elbow ever so casually atop his head while conducting her next sideline interview like hey there slugger what's going on sport can you speak up I can't I can only reach down so far pal that's the other world's angriest my buddy my buddy and me doll like that's the best part is that you go oh man you know like like he was really He just, he was really rude. And I'm like, you know, the greatest in, like, the greatest rudeness in any interview with Nick Saban involving Maria Taylor is when the camera has to pan back up to finish it?

Like, pan up, like, dramatically, like a good, like, 45 degree angle to the northeast or to the northwest in order to get her in the frame because it's not close. Do you know who else the ESPN camera crew, I think, I think must really love working with is Brian Kelly because in the, in game day, the little. little bit of game day that I caught, they were, they had him and Brian Kelly and Maria in those high chairs. And they do this in part. Part of the reason you do this setup is to kind of eliminate the height difference. So you don't have to do one of those Gandalf tricks where you put Maria three feet behind Brian Kelly. So it looks like they're the same height. But they had the shot cropped too wide. So you could see their entire bodies and you could see how far his legs were from touching the ground when he sits in that chair.

I like that you use the word high chair. There's Maria gracefully, you know, folded onto a chair, you know, not a care in the world. And there's Brian Kelly hunched over like he's about to ask her three riddles from under a bridge. Straining his toes as far as he can. They should put Nick Sabin in a literal high chair, like in a child's high chair with a bib and everything. Give him a tray to bang on. He'll love that. you know to be clear and to be clear before we

before we move on we won't from boss baby we won't but i just want to point out again that the least bothered person about this is maria taylor because she's way too professional to do any of these things that we are fantasizing uh about her doing to this short awful tyrant yeah also don't defend your football coach it's okay he's fine he's fine he'll be fine yeah you don't you don't you don't need to do that you really don't they pay him eight muck eight fucking million dollars and they bought him a house that he doesn't even have to pay for he doesn't need your avi writing and they paid off all his real estate debts he's fine yeah i mean they help they help prepare his retirement

package i mean yeah i thought like you know other than like oh what a dick he shouldn't have said that like the immediate thing to me was the video is fucking hilarious like this maddest little man maddest little man on earth and she says oh i hear you now can you answer my question question worded slightly differently. Yeah, if she'd known, that would have been great. Like, coach, a follow-up question. About your quarterbacks. Like, I work, man.

Maria's way too professional to do any of this shit. But if she'd known how she would have okay badmanned him. It was a spiritual okay batmaning. It was good, too, because I knew he was winding up. Like, if you've watched more than, you know, like. He was mad for the game was over. Like, if you knew that he was, this is, by the way, this is one he's most dangerous, right? Don't hit him up after a 24, 23 dramatic win.

Okay, because you won't get anything good. You can walk up there. When he's got time to watch individual players from the sideline, Andrea Adelson said he was winded up on some linebacker, like before the whistle even blew. Yeah. And if that's, when he has like a dramatic game, you know, like when Alabama beat LSU with the dramatic A.J. McCarron screen pass.

Yeah, the wording on that's ironic, right? AJ McCarran, by the way, once through his screen pass, and Alabama fans were like, Hasman, give it to him. did you see that screen pass t jeldon meanwhile just streaks down the field it runs like 35 yards

through eight defenders to get it and they're like give it to a jay he's just that good a jacobcarym by the way has a like quarterback rating the NFL of like 0.8 at this point no point no i mean it's like mathematically improbable how low it is

at this point that's that's would be heism winner a j mccarran and after that game Nick Saban's like bizarrely affectionate to everyone saying I thought these kids played a great game. They were amazing. Let me remind you that Nick Saban was winding up and had a fit after Alabama smoked Louisville, 5114, y'all. That's, I saw him go off after they wax Clemson to ruin Tommy Bowden's

entire career in Atlanta. And that was after a massive victory too, like 30 to 6 or something like that. My favorite Sabin quote is still after that regular season. Bama Georgia game where it's like John Parker Wilson and Javier Arenas and a couple other guys in the locker room and Dan Wetzel has this amazing piece that's my favorite piece of sports writing ever where a couple of the guys are like yeah Saban smiled and told us he loved us and a couple of the other guys like no he didn't don't tell anyone that it was like no it was like it was a guy who you would not think would would get the willies about something. something like that. It was like Javier Arenas or one of those dudes being like, no, we didn't. 51, 14. And pitching a fit at the end of the game against the reporter who asked him the question, do you have any further information on your quarterbacks, basically? Quit asking. You know what's really great? You know what's really great?

We've talked about all this time about how Nick Saban is boss baby and not about how Jalen is definitely, not going to transfer definitely not you beat us you tiny little devil small enough to put on my shoulder all part of the plan were you around like a purse dog

I guess the other thing was you go okay Auburn is Auburn good I'm kind of struggling with this question because I watch that whole game at what I think football

is what we're football's my guess I know what Auburn's good at otherwise Exploding dogs And second collections at church Yeah They're good at They're good at listed alumni in commercials

They always have alumni in commercials Like remember Tim Cook Remember Tim Cook Remember this person Yeah I can't figure out whether this team There's always a couple of those that I feel like they're lying about You ever feel like they sneak

They try and sneak one in Yeah I feel like Mark Zuckerberg You're like, I don't think he went to Harvard. Yeah. Auburned Silicon Valley. It'd be Faithbook, if it were. National Treasure Kathleen Turner.

Hey, wait, a goddamn second. Abdul Nasser. Wait. Yeah. I mean, that game was a laborous watch, just because there was at one point, we all happen to be together. We were having, like, meetings and stuff a weekend. And Bill Connolly, who was stuck with the live blog for that game, looked up. as soon as Washington crossed the 20, he said,

they should just kick it right now. 17 yards later, they fumbled. Bill Connolly's always right. And that was sort of the microcosm of the game. If you get in the 20, just kick it. Just kick. Kick. Kick.

Might as well. Yeah, because every time I've seen a Pac-12 team come up against a team from, you know, say the ACC or the SEC over the past, I don't know. Is it 10 years at this point? 15? the one thing you notice is that they're really good

except for that part where it comes to putting a bunch of extremely fast fat people on the field it's just not it's different you saw like after the first quarter like they settled down but for that first quarter Washington was like I have no idea how to deal with these people none the defensive line was not

it was not to be contained I mean they they eventually figured out some stuff that kind of worked but up front up front that's a horrendous matchup every single time like I don't even need I can't even really tell you that Washington's not real good

because I don't think they're going to face that in conference I don't think they're going to face it. They were also without their best linemen as well he was hurt he was injured before the game or whatever they were without their left tackle right but one on one across the board wasn't good

yeah that doesn't explain the other four positions but yeah yeah well how long do they look take a look at the schedule and they have they have got a little bit a little bit of time to get their to get their feet set before things get super serious um are they playing rock are they playing rockers again please say they're playing ruckers again is who playing ruckers again washington i think emphasis on a little bit of time because they got to go at Utah in two weeks yeah you know no I meant that's I was kind of trying that was that hesitation in my voice was me seeing North Dakota on the schedule and being like wait which

is that the good Dakota or the real that's a safe Dakota yeah that's that's yeah because Kansas Kansas State almost lost to a dangerous Dakota yeah there's there's three good decodas and then there's yeah they got yeah well oh man who's watching a couple weeks it's I think what I was saying is I like them with fundamentally two weeks to prep for Utah Right Well then you see what's after that buddy they got to play Herm Edwards team Those boys won like 60 to 2 or something Hey, Herm has to go is that game at Washington?

No, yeah, it's at Washington Herm Edwards has to go someplace where it gets dark at 4 p.m. Don't tell me I'm sleepy That's like probably Popp pops us up late Saturday night. And how'd that go? Awesome. Yeah, Herm, one and week one, big time.

Y'all, are we prepared for, I know this is the look ahead of all look-aheads, but did the Commonwealth Cup just get intriguing in like all the wrong ways? Not the Commonwealth, I'm sorry, the territorial. The territorial cop. I was like, hours after God, and I made a bet on it.

If Kevin someone makes his cowboy escape to, like, to, Arizona, and it loses to our members in his first year. I'm sorry. Not to do the constant shutdown forecast mistake of looking ahead to Arizona, Arizona State. Well, we will have a weekly check-in. No, I'm just kidding. But in case anyone missed it, Godfrey and I are 2018 fried chicken bet is the Territorial Cup.

We talked about whether it could be like win totals or just head-to-head. We settled on head-to-head to keep the looming drama all weekend long, and then literally, just shortly after that, Arizona lost is like a 12-point favorite, and Herm won by like 50 points. So I'm off to an awesome start there. I am not considering Arizona State in this matchup, to be clear. I'm sure Godfrey's taking it gracefully. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very classy. Yeah, no, I, listen, future Pac-12 champion, Herm Edwards, say it to yourself, look in the mirror.

I think the Raiders are going to come calling pretty soon. You got to get gruden out. there. They'll be like, how old is he? Old? Oh, yeah. So he doesn't trade all his best players. Interesting. It's amazing. Has Herm Edwards traded Khalil Mack? Not even once. Not even on his team. Yeah, it's amazing. There were people who almost lost this week. People who, people who played games that were closer. Not just Penn State. No, no, no, not just Penn State who almost, yeah, reproduced. Michigan's Epic 2007 lost to Appalachian State.

No, this one, this one, this one, this one's weird. It does involve the Big Ten. I know everyone laughed at the Pack 12, which I don't know. I can't really stop you from laughing at the Pac-12. Because honestly, it wasn't very pretty. It's nice to be noticed. It's good. Do you want this attention?

That's the thing. Hey, why don't you talk about us? Okay. Let's see it. Michigan State. Michigan State was in a dog fight with Utah State did win You would think that Michigan State would be better at dog fighting

What, there are hard people, one Yeah, no, they're apparently not real good at it Listen, it happens in week one It happens when you play Utah State As an adopted Auburn fan for the year, I have to stick up for the Utah State It's a really hard team to play in week one, okay? Is Chuckie Keaton still on that team?

I'm assuming so. Can we check? All right. He must be. Ninth year senior, Chuckie Keaton. But yeah, they're going to want us to forget about that, period.

You know, I mean, like Louisville, I don't know, you're playing Alabama. What's a reasonable result with the first year starter quarterback? Wait, I was joking. Chuckie Keaton is now an assistant coach at Utah State.

Yes. Perfect. That's great. Oh, I love that kid. I'm making jokes because Chuckie Keaton was at Utah State forever and it was at Utah State forever because he kept getting horrible, awful, unfair injuries

and he's wonderful. Anyway, please continue. But yeah, you almost had something real bad happen there. You know, you almost had something real bad happen. Can we just, I mean, James Madison and all that, NC State, NC State struggled. This was a struggle for a minute. James Madison's good.

They're good, man. NC State won the party. Yes, that's a part important detail there. I mean, if JMU against any team lesser than NC State, probably could have pulled it off, but that wasn't the key detail from this game. You should go read Spencer's blog post on the NC State fan gif. Yeah, we'll include it.

It includes a fervent case for monarchy that is not at all sarcastic. Yeah, no, our new queen. Welcome, welcome her. Hail. there's one game I want to point too I think actually the two I think results that most jumped out at me both primarily for mid-major teams Oklahoma kicked the absolute shit out of FAU

I think the game was something like 63 149 to nothing before FAU even scored which you know I don't think anyone picked FAU to win but we picked it to be a shootout you know, if you told me Oklahoma scored 63, I'd say, oh, FAU probably like 49. FAU got two in garbage time. So I think that speaks well for Mike Stoops' defense. Crazy as that is to say?

We'll see how that holds up. I mean, Kyler Murray looked good, which, you know, I'm not too surprised by that against FAU, but Mike Stoop's out dueling Lane Kiffin. That's a surprise. yeah i think kansas i don't really know what to tell you if kansas state almost loses to somebody but you know then sort of pulls it out because yeah that's to be expected yeah they just play slow ball anyway so every now and then you're just going to get stuck in a game that ends up being like 24 23 you end up getting stuck in a game where you know you play closer than you think so that's

going to happen that's not super shocking to me one game i thought would be closer boise state had to go to Troy? Yeah, this is the other one for me. Yeah. Like, you know, I'll let you speak on that, but that was just like in short, I was kind of, I was kind of shocked. Yeah, I thought there'd be peskier. Reader there was not. Yeah, this was an impressive game by Boise State. I mean, that's, that's far.

That's against a good team, a team that's, you know, proven to be well coached. Like, granted, they're replacing a lot, but they're, you know, predicted to contend in the Sunbelt, you know, in any time any one, any major going to face Any other mid-major contender, you expect a good game. It was an ass whooping. And Boise State, pretty much far and away, your New Year's sixth favorite right now. I see you, UCF, settle down. Play somebody. You play, come on.

Give it a minute. Also, by the way, and this is not sarcastic, legit impressed by Stanford. Yeah, yeah. No, I thought, because this is a team that, you know. Avenged. It doesn't usually look ready to play football. That's the, they did.

They looked ready to play football. First time in, like, four years. Stanford is actually clocked in on time? Yeah, they figured out that you can't get lower than a B at Stanford anyway. Might as well focus on football a little bit. Might as well show up for, yeah, okay, I got you. Yeah, might as well show up for that because guess what? They grade you on a curve in the classroom at Stanford, but on the field.

I'm sorry. Fields are flat. Fields are flat. That's right. Here's San Diego State, bro. The only curves we acknowledge are on these hot babes who are. In the waves that we're catching. Our coaches who are hot babes.

Got a perfect 10 as in the number of points we put up. Rocky Long does have exquisite cheap bounce. He does. And he could take them freshly bruised from a beating at the hands of Stanford 3110 into the next game. He's so pretty and mangled. But yeah, no, good.

Like, seriously, little note. Hey, you want to talk? You want us to talk about you, Pac-12? Okay. Good job, Stanford. Good job to the Big Ten team. We're sorry that we said you were going to focus on academics. Oh, actually one more little Pact 12 note, you know, before we lose another 10 listeners talking about the Pact 12.

We going to do Wazoo? I was going to say this, Colorado State, Colorado, kind of an unexpected ass kick in there, because Colorado State, it was 45-13 buffs. Stephen Montez, he was 22 for 25, y'all. I feel like one thing we've learned so far this year is that Colorado State is bad. Yeah, no, they're very bad. They're not good. They're going to suffer this year and suffer bad. They're going to let a quarterback on a college field do things like only missed three passes out of 25.

I bet those were drops. Can you hear the weed whacker, by the way? No, but that would be appropriate since at the live show, we did have Bud Elliott every time we talked about Florida States issues. Come on with a giant leaf blower. Did that play? Because I wasn't in view of the audience at that moment. It blew my computer off the table. Wait, did it?

Yeah. Y'all really can't hear this as loud as hell. Wow. I hear something? No, it'll be weird. We won't hear a weed whacker, but if somebody crinkles a sandwich bag 20 feet away, it'll sound like it's over the microphone. Oh, one other game, LSU Miami, that shit was weird as hell.

Recording this on Monday, so whatever happens in FSUVT, got nothing for you. But LSU Miami, that was a strange game. Like, it's sort of, at halftime, it was like, oh, Coach, I was got a quarterback now. You look at his numbers, he's like 10 of 20. you know uh joe burrow and uh you know shutting down the canes the canes have more yardage you know like yeah it was a game like miami's punter is um we don't trash student athletes here on this program we don't miami's punter is uh he directional perhaps is a way to put it he's not bound by the conventions of the field uh he he goes for coffin corners you know it

The corner happens to be, you know, his own 40-yard line, as the case may be. It's a corner of something. They had some special teams issues, and hidden yarders might have been an issue. That's the issue, yeah, yeah. Because you look, you know, LSU, the game was so out of the average. They spent the whole fourth quarter talking about where LSU's kicker went to Division 2 previously. Oh, they were talking about the attendance at his previous school. It was the kind of broadcasts where, like, the announcers just threw out of

a stat and then they have time to actually look it up. That's how out of hand it was. But, like, LSU was perfect on field goals. Miami miss one. Bubba Baksa, who we learned is the name of Miami's kicker, missed the field goal. Bubba Baca. Buba Baba Baja. Buba Baja.

Baba Baja. Spencer tweeted. What was it? Yeah, you know what it is? Baba Baxa, Bubba Baja. It fits, Tamanca. It fits, Taman. You've been Bubba Backsword.

Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, LSU, you know, it's a credit to say you dominated special teams, but when the other teams, punter is, again, unconventional, not that hard. So I, yeah, I kind of feel like I want to just do a redo to know what to make a thing, you know, what to think of either of these teams. LSU's average starting position was something like, uh, they started like the 45. Yeah, they started every drive on the 45. which, you know, then you're only five yards away from the traditional yardage barrier that LSU struggles to cross.

I was going to say LSU love starting at the 45. What are you talking about? Yeah, it's really first and five. Oh, starting their own possessions at the 45, okay. Yeah. It's very difficult for me to say that with anything like comfortable field position, you'd get a blow out this bad. Right, yeah. Right. It wouldn't.

Also, you know, they, Miami did the thing where they made all their mistakes real early, real early, real fast. Just a perfect storm of little things that I do not think reflects the overall quality of either team. I don't because I did sort of see Joe Burrow and in my head you go, well, what's this going to look like when he's playing Alabama? Oh no. I sort of think this one where like the result counts, but I'm not updating any files here. Spencer, have we have we confronted Jason yet about the about the Joe Burrow? No, we haven't. Jason, do you want to tell us anything about playing quarterback for LSU?

Or your son? Oh, come on. You are hiding a child. No, no, you, son, literally son. This is outrageous. It's uncanny. It's okay. Also, you can't spell Jason without Joe, J.O.

Also, burrow, owls, burrow. Oh, God. Burrowing owls. Okay, my mom is from Ohio. No, no, no, no. See, this is. Yeah, no, you can't prove that. You might want to start talking to some people.

My mom is from Ohio. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So either this is you, either this is your son, or there's a loose Kirk somewhere out there, who goes by the name of Joe Burrow. That's horrifying. We don't lost contain. I got to send you the screen cap I took last night because it's, I mean, it might be your daughter because I can't see hair.

If you see Joe Burrow on the sidelines postgame take off his shirt and he's covered in tats, I don't know. He's pretty pale, though. I'm pretty, I've been outdoors, you know, fair amount this summer. That fella needs to. That was the first thing I thought when looking at him is like, well, that guy needs some sunshine. So, I don't know. Maybe I need to see him with a little bit of a slight tint to him. Well, where will he get that in Louisiana? Not yet. Where? Yeah. Wait till summer really kicks in there. Okay. Okay. Yeah, no, no, no. Just put it on the board. All right. We'll monitor this situation.

Possibly blood relatives. Joe burrowing owl. Yeah. Dig into it, so to speak. Anyway, like I was saying, Joe Burrow is awesome. He's truly the savior of LSU's program. Enhancing. Numbers really don't tell the whole story. Completely changed the game.

Decisive winning by LSU. Can I give you the same game, just the same game, just with a few tweaks, really? is the same game and it felt the same was Michigan Notre Dame yes yes precisely did not did not feel that different

like if you want to know what the big did like people go what a decisive verdict on the Harbaugh administration yeah like you elected them right you know and Brian Kelly doing a fantastic job there this is what happened

all right go back to Notre Dame's opener last year okay at home. Notre Dame played who? They played Georgia, right? I think this is game two, actually. They played game two, their first big game at home, and the result was similar just in reverse, right? Both teams ended up being pretty good on the year.

They had to figure some stuff out. The results were, you know, pretty middling when you take two teams that look about the same and one of them just has to score one more point. The only difference when you look at it is you go, Oh, Michigan can't run the ball. They can't. They, against good competition, they can't run the ball now.

They had 58 yards on the night. Would you care to know how those broke out in terms of an average? It'd be a GPA that would not get you into Michigan, Michigan State, eastern, western, or central. That's 1.8 yards per carry. You might get into Central. You can get into State. Do you think he's in Michigan?

State, they just asked you, well, can you log? Yeah. How are you with an X? Like, this is what sucks. You go, oh, man, wow, well, what was Notre Dame? What did they average per carry? Well, they won by a single score. It's a one score game, and they average 2.8 yards of carry.

I think the best thing I saw about this game was Bud wrote a post about how basically the difference was Michigan's quarterback can run. Or Notre Dame's quarterback can run, you know, and he looked a little more. calm and and steady in the pocket than Shay Patterson did. Yeah. Because like Notre Dame's running backs didn't do a goddamn thing.

It was all Brandon, Brandon Winbush breaking loose. But otherwise this game was super close and I was pretty baffled by like, you know, on Twitter and whatever during the game, like Fire Harbaugh, Harbaugh overrated, let's put up the stupid Brady Hokes stat.

I feel like given the, given the coaches involved and the Meteor game status of this game for most of the country. I kind of feel like we were going to get that reaction no matter what happened. Like if we weren't doing this to Harbaugh at the moment, we'd be doing this to Brian Kelly right now, no matter how the game went. And I probably would not be defending Brian Kelly at all. No, no, I think I mean, I'm with you.

I'm just saying that I'm with you that it's weird. I just think it was going to be weird no matter what because of the outsized personalities of the gentleman. involved yeah also this um what's kind of the big critique of like how nutter game does things offensively well it tends to place a lot of weight in quarterback right he doesn't necessarily get to distribute as much as you might want and that uh kind of adds up because if your quarterback has a super bad day uh there's no real way to sort of ameliorate that you can't make it better you can't even out that risk a little bit and if that's what they've got with brandon winbush you go

Oh, man, he can run a little. He still only had 59 yards. You're going to need more production out of the run game on boat for both teams, right? I think that's like semi-fixable for both teams. It's probably more fixable for Notre Dame. Michigan, though, an offensive line. Offensive line's kind of a concern, y'all.

It's an issue. Issue is the word we use for something you're not going to be able to fix. That's actually a problem. Especially weird for a coach who's so beef and milk focused. He's got to infuriate him, right? It's going to be like, I believe in all things bulky. I don't have an offensive line. Okay, youngsters, which one of you has been eating chicken?

Yeah. Cough it up. Cough up the chickens. Cough up the chickens. It's a nervous animal. Damn it. Sounds like he counted his. Wow.

Yeah. But yeah, I don't think there's a whole lot to, like, take about, you know, like, when I, was there anybody you looked at and you go, ooh that thing's definitely broken like anything that you go like if you had to go in six weeks and go we'll see I told you for instance this not that this is a big stretch

but the 0 and 6 UNC prediction but baby it's a six part process and down payment one went through and cleared on Saturday because UNC lost in Chapel Hill to cow was that I thought that was in

California. Was it in there? Does it really matter? No, it doesn't. Doesn't matter. I'm sorry for the fact check. Yeah. God damn.

Have we not talked about Ole Miss Texas Tech yet? That's another thing I was going to point to and go, where are things broken? Okay. I'm sorry, it wasn't Cal. It wasn't Cal. So there we go. Pack 12, we're talking about you again. Look at that.

You beat a quality ACC team. You beat Michael Jordan. That's right. So nine months, we heard Texas Tech's much-improved defense. This is the thing we mocked on this program one week earlier. How many points did they don't miss score? They scored 47 points. Is that a lot?

Is it? I don't know. Like, what would be a lot? Are we going to look back at this and go, you know, actually, they played pretty well. And, like, TCU hang 78 on them or something? Yeah. Texas Tech, your your horrible defense that improved to bad

I would say it is not yet improved to average So all the nine months we spent Really the offseason is pointless Because everything we talk about is either like Immediately proved obvious or immediately proved wrong I will say this like sure This is one of those incident incidents and instances In the first week where you go

Oh, new model old model old model and new model same model right where you go hey this is this has changed not one whit and we have something that we go yeah um same issues they had before nothing has changed no one improves but texas deck one thing hasn't changed that's a good thing they they lost their starter they lost mclean carter in the first quarter to injury and they just put alan bowman in and still got pretty decent production out of him not great But as a first time starter thrown into a game against a pretty mobile, at least, you know, there's a lot of flashing shiny lights out there, a lot of scary parts moving around for the

Old Miss defense. And Bowman played pretty well, like, you know, as a shell-shocked first-year starter can going in against an SEC defense. Admittedly, even one is occasionally, as occasionally lenient in their prosecution of the pursuit of the football as Old Miss can be. Buddy, those are the land sharks. Now led by an actual plush land shark. Well, you know, sharks sometimes get distracted by metal objects and just bite them instead of fish.

Also, sharks not known as pack hunters. No, not. How metal would that be? Yeah. You're like, wow, one of them is really dangerous. Yeah, you're never really going to get more than one. Yeah, just avoid that guy. Yeah, running all around.

Yeah. So, I mean, they have some positives here when you go, okay, that's cool. Like, they might, you know, they've got stuff to build on and a loss. So I think it's okay. but the defense oh man same same thing same shit but on old miss's side

also same shit that offense is really fun super fun oh my god they're fun like three wide receivers who can all go for a hundred in a game all on the field at the same time delightful

um do we want to talk about Hawaii hell yes we want to talk about Hawaii why why how could we not how could we not talk about the kings the kings of college football, Hawaii, who now that they've reembrace God's offense, the run and shoot.

FBS is only two and O team. One of only two and O teams in all of the NCAA, along with North Carolina A&T. So those are your two playoff teams right now. 18 point underdog in Colorado put it on Colorado State.

Somehow a two touchdown dog at home against Navy who was flying like seven time zones. I don't know who made that shit up. Then they won by 18. Yep. Cole McDonald. Get out of Cole McDonald's way.

He's got 800 yards. Your quarterback probably has like 200. If you see a quarterback walk out in Hawaii as a white boy with dreads, kill yourself. Jump in a well. It's over. Jump in the ocean. Go talk to the ancestors 30 feet down at the bottom. Because guess what?

That's where your team's going to be. Go live on an oil rig. Go jump in the swirling trash continent, ever-growing trash plastic continent in the ocean. That's where you live now. Yeah. Go do that. Because Cole McDonald,

Cole McDonald, like, rides with the gods this year. Right? He's got, like, 420 yards passing and change per game already. He's already thrown nine T-Ds. Nine. I'm a fly.

Florida fan. That's all we get for the year. We're saving them up. We're rationing them. He's a white boy Moana out there. He should throw TDs and go, you're welcome. He's amazing. It's not cultural appropriation of Cole

McDonald does it, okay? Yeah. Because, you know, reasons. Yeah. And they're really fun. They're ridiculous because they'll usually let the other team back in the game too. That's happened

twice in a row. Big lead. Let him chip into a little bit. Sudden sprint to the finish. You got Nick Rolovich, a head coach who, in addition to running a fun offense and all that, he's also like a real character as a head coach. Like brings his fellow coach's gifts at Mountain West Media Days and it's like an actual human on Twitter.

And there was a moment during the Navy game where he was arguing with a ref and, you know, instead of getting in the guy's face, cussing or storming off. he puts up his dukes did you see this like he puts up his dukes and pretends to be like a 1930s boxer he's got a pose and the ref is laughing and then they just turn around and walk away like imagine any other coach coach doing that i can't believe the disrespect right yeah nick said nick saven squaring up somebody's like get this trout off the field this juvenile pugilist The Knicks-Saving would actually be the size of a 1930s boxer. I mean...

A wise guy, eh? Yeah. Why don't you come over here? Everybody, we got children boxing. That'd actually be huge in the 30s. Yeah. Huge. They would have loved that.

In the 30s, wasn't everyone like 5'4? Yeah. Yeah, it's poor nutrition. Yeah, he would have been a giant. The, I guess this is my favorite thing that we did. because we've been talking now for the better part of 45 minutes and this is when we go, you know, to a tug of a lot, it looked pretty good. Yeah, the storyline that Nick Saban managed to bury by being a bitch

is that his quarterback is really fucking awesome. Like, just like a, like a silk wave of smooth butter flowing through that backfield whenever Louisville got back there I've never seen a quarterback much less like a quarterback in his second game like look less frazzled no like if there's

and by the way the people go oh man he only had you know 227 yards he threw the ball 16 times man 16 times like people go oh this is a new this is a new look Alabama yeah they ran the ball 42 times man 42 times around 65 place

just do the math it ain't good I don't know I mean I think it is a new look because to his drives you score four touchdowns you don't really need to pass from there on out you know yeah this shit is scary as hell and only clemson can save us I would say too

that like if you go like what is it like if I didn't really get to watch tour what does he remind you of at the risk of offending anybody who had to play them as divisional rivals in the NFL and watch the damage that he wreaked at his peak not that he is not still playing but it's just not quite

the same you know that moment when drew breeze could move like you know three or four yards in the pocket you know in either direction evade everything and then hit a dude that you didn't even sort of see over in the corner who was wide open that's kind of where he's headed like if he gets if he keeps this up that like no look sense that somebody was open and then the touch to put it not just on their fingertips but on the third on the ring finger the one that he knows is the one the receiver likes to begin every catch with because he watched the film and discussed it with him and then analyzed his biomechanics yeah like he's got that kind of like full scary full field vision and ability to evade pressure without really up in the r pms too much in terms of heart rate yeah

it's nuts it could be really really scary by the time this is all over so quit asking so quit asking