Shutdown Fullcast - Boston College Bachelor Party In Space

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

SHOW NOTES Ryan takes us on a mythological exploration of language Language is also what has landed our good buddy Jay Arnold in hot water (food reference) online! He expressed a good-hearted opinion, and must be punished for that. Spencer bought LIV Golf, please direct all complaints to him Jason breaks some important transfer portal news Plotting the next international college football game A brief return to the moon, for church Regional foodstuffs are debated The noble hatch chile is honored The big pants debate, again Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Do you think there was actually an incident in which there was a bull in a China shop? And that, like, like, do you think somebody actually has seen that at one point in time? I've taken Spencer into a Swarovski store in a casino before. It's pretty similar. But, like, as much as that is a useful idiotic. It feels like something that happened in Spain. I would hope so. Um, okay, it does actually have, it happens in the animated Ferdinand movie, apparently.

But I want to see it in real life. That's a true story. I want to see. I want to talk to the people who are like, yep, I own a humble China shop. And one day, fucking Bull just got in and was going nuts. One of Aesop's Fables is about a donkey and a pottery shop. So I think we actually happen to have someone who might know on here, and we'll actually introduce them in a minute once we start the show.

But Jay, Bulls at China Shops, have you ever encountered that? I assume you've been around lots of large animals as a Texan. Yeah, as a Texan, I have some experience with large animals. I've never encountered one in a China shop, though. And I've been to some small East Texas towns that had great China, but no bulls yet. Were there any large animals whatsoever amongst the small plates? Not counting myself? That's the city council.

Okay. You, but you're, Jay, you're like, you strike me as like a thoughtful and nimble bowl, not a clumsy, o'fish bull. I appreciate that. Anytime I play like a tabletop of role player game, I usually try to go with like the stealth archer archetype. So maybe I'm just spiritually a nimble guy. A barbarian who is a rogue at heart. I guess, okay, so let's, Spencer's not here with us today. So someone else to say a word, welcome.

We'll fucking get to that. Welcome. All right, there we are. Whoever says it first has claimed it. To the shutdown forecast. Holly has her hand raised. You fuckers are never going to guess

who just FaceTimed me. Oh, Spencer Hall. Yes. What does he want? Would he patching him in? No, I asked him, I was like, yeah, and he was like, I'm so sorry. About what? All right.

I don't know. Because he's FaceTiming. He should be sorry because he's FaceTiming her. So clearly he had time to be on the show. Anyway, I asked him last night if he had told you guys he wasn't going to be on the show today, and he was like, oh, shit. And I called him a bad teammate, and he got mad. So be sure to call him a bad teammate.

teammate when you see him this week. So let's just put, let's just put some things on the table here. Number one, Spencer Hall is not with us because he's in New York City. Yeah. Number two, New York City is where business and the world intersect. Number three, we had a huge bit of business and sports news this morning. Number four, what sport has been. What sport has been on?

Spencer's mind against his will for the better part of the last month. It's golf. Do you think it's a coincidence that PGA and Liv merge on the same goddamn day, Spencer Hall? Like, he just said, oh, I have to go to New York for something. He doesn't like it there. He's at Chipriani right now. Probably.

Probably. What a bitch. I have no idea why he's in New York. Or I had no idea. Now I think it's quite clear. he was the architect behind this the whole time can you imagine spencer is a fucking architect so everybody who's all mad about you know the pGA said that they didn't want to deal with uh people you know the sovereign wealth fund that was connected to uh extrajudicial murder and 9-11 and this that and the other and then suddenly they're fine with it everybody who's mad at the pGA everybody who's like wondering how the golfers got fucked over here they're the ones who they had to find out on Twitter just like everybody else tweeted Spencer Spencer did this shit a hundred percent and and and if he didn't

why isn't he here to defend himself but why is he popping up on FaceTime and then saying oh shit right I've been exposed Spencer's I can't say anymore yeah why is Spencer apologizing that's not a thing Spencer does yeah how do you fuckers possibly and I mean who do we have on the show on this very day an oil and gas country guest oh look at that that's right

makes right we do have a campus in Qatar of course you do okay real quick I know the answer is Arizona State but besides that what would be what would be the most natural and the most hilariously unnatural

school to open a campus in Qatar to have a rivalry series just to, like, have a rivalry series. I think UCon. if Yukon tried to bring in a rivalry with Texas A&M. Like, I know the answer's Arizona State. But what about Michigan State?

That's good, too. Yeah. I got cut off on the highway the other day by a car with a ASU law sticker. That sounds like AASU, by the way. By the way, that's an AAU school. That's right. Put some respect on that. along with fucking USF.

South Florida, baby. Eat shit Nebraska. Big Tampa brains. What you know about that, Big Ten? That's right. That is right. The school that recently bragged about being the only college with an on-campus publics. How do you think they got that AAU certification?

Idiots. That was a great way. Every school was playing off Auburn having to Buckees. We sort of realized every school has something. Jay, we were joined, fortunate to be joined by Jay Arnold. I would say former Texas A&M defensive alignment, but is it like a Marines thing with the Aggies where it's like you're never actually out, like because you might be called upon to serve as a 12th man or whatever? I mean, there's definitely a kernel of truth to that, but I like to think that I'm out of my

college football suffering from a physical standpoint at least. we're recording this on jay if you got a call this afternoon and jimbo said jay found a loophole needs you to come play one more year for us could you could you physically do that at this point uh i mean i could definitely be a practice squad guy okay uh i could be i could be a body but okay did not much more than that okay it's uh there's some there's some there's some in i A.L. available? Yeah, that's mostly, I would do it just for the NIL money that I would consider it back pay. I don't know how to tell you this. Jay, Jim has been very clear that Texas A&M doesn't pay players. So, if that's why you're getting into this, I think you're barking up the wrong tree, my friend.

I guess I'll have to enter the transfer portal after making my company. Oh, wow. We're just breaking news here. Jay Arnold is interesting. the portal headed to Colorado I believe I would not complain about that we need more walk on we need more like walk-on non-scholarship players publicly declaring that they're in the portal we need more of that those announcements would just be so fantastic like because you could be absolutely terrible at the sport of football and be a walk-on and be a body out there and just announce your transfer and if you have enough uh you know you uniqueness and marketable characteristics about you,

you could definitely make a play at a school like, let's say you get really involved with the cattle industry in Wyoming and all of a sudden you're going to Laramie. I mean, things can happen. That's right. I'm rustling my way onto the portal. All it takes is juice and sizzle to land yourself. Who's most desperate right now?

Who's really, really desperate? I mean, I just said Colorado. So, they're perpetually desperate. Perpetually in that situation, too. Yeah, they strive for desperate, I think. Yeah, there's a lot of opportunity out there for, for ambitious transferers who were never actually anywhere to begin with. So, Jay, the sport of golf, which, you know, I think you're like most of us, it's like, a sport you're aware of.

When you look and see that Saudi is essentially buying the PGA, does this seem like anything that might ever make even less regulation and organization and moral backbone than even golf? I mean, I think there's definitely an argument to be made. I've watched I was never good enough to have like bag men come to my high school to recruit me I was not fortunate enough to be in that position

but I've seen the the pony access theory for 30 that's what he has to say he has to say these things as his attorneys the NPA I signed I mean is there a statute of limitations on that can I like I don't think we don't have to get into that on here

The NCAA's got bigger problems Like Colorado Wait wait The NCAA having bigger problems Would not stop them from focusing on the smaller ones It never has Zeroing it on one We fixed one thing

Oh man Who was it that got it really bad Oklahoma State basketball That's happened Like in the midst of Kansas Yeah Yeah somebody makes you hire your nephew Is a handyman

The house is on fire Yes but I untangled the Christmas lights. Did you see that? I did it. The house is on fire, but a Georgia Tech player received a shirt. Georgia Tech player slept on his coach's couch. I mean, how can't have that? Made of cream cheese. The Georgia Tech players in my day, if they got a shirt, they would have to get paid for taking the shirt because they had Russell was their gear provider.

So, I mean, I would think that would count as. an anti-violation. It's actually like doing community service work. That's right. There's a fucking class credit. The reason I bring this up is in the past

we have joked about the Saudis purchasing more and more in American sports. WWE as well is happily making its way toward all that money. And I recall a few years ago we joked about, quote words joked, which school would probably be most likely to just

go all in on big oil money, and it is really complete coincidence, Jay, that we have you on the day that's happened because I'm pretty sure we decided the Aggies would be most likely. And I think that was even before they found themselves on the hook for Jimbo's $900 billion contract. Jay, are you concerned at all about the contract? About whether the, well, that, yeah. I mean, granted, surely you are, but I guess mainly about whether the university will remain in the state of Texas. again like I said we do have that campus so I'm not worried about us going to the Saudis necessarily uh Qatar on the other hand I mean obviously that's uh already a partnership that's in

play it would be interesting to see a game played over there I guess I mean you would have a home-filled advantage of sorts I'm sure they could make a indoor ski resorts over there they could make a snow game yeah I would be I mean I always wanted to play any snow game and I felt kind of robbed that we never did so that would be I think that's a win in this scenario. You know, the only Independence Bowl anyone has ever cared about was Anna Mistate in the Snow Bowl. Independence Bowl could our every year.

I mean, Independence Bowl is always must watch television. It's, uh, I love Shreveport. It's just one of my favorite places to visit. Must watch, must watch, must care about is a higher bar clear. That's fair. So we've done, we've had college football in Japan. We've had college football in Australia. We had, was it the International Bowl, was in Canada for a stretch there?

Canada. Cuba. Last year in Ireland, when the internet went out and all the beer was free. We've got a good history of college one island. That's how it works at my house too. It sounds like a country song when you string it together. Like, all the internet went out and all the beer was free. It sounds like an excuse you're telling your mom when she catches you doing something.

the internet was out I'm not following the line It was Ireland, I don't know We turned this paper in 12.5 font We were worried the beer was going to go bad Because the Wi-Fi went out So we had to drink it all the ball The beer was warm

I don't know 30 degrees out I don't know if we've talked about it on this show But there was a plan at one point To play One and maybe a series of college football games In Russia I think this is maybe like right out

I don't remember that. And there was, like, one of the biggest issues with it was getting the, like, the physical equipment. Like, Russia's, like, we don't have, like, field goal crossbars. Right. How are we, we would have to make those. And that was, like, a big sticking point for some reason, if I remember. If much Russia made, then they'd be so fucking shit. But now you've got 3D printers, so you can just have a football field anywhere.

what would be the best country to have a college football game in that's not the United States Canada's got a lot of fields that's very true Greenland is empty and very cold I would like to

Belgium, French flag culture I would like to see a Brazilian college football game Opposite of Belgium Okay Yep Ooh but Belgium And the game is on cobbles

Oh God that's like playing in Notre Dame When they let the grass grow Yeah Yeah yeah yeah I think Ecuador's up there for me That's a good pick Any spot with like elevation

Just to really Torture the teams Ooh Kazakhstan It's all mountains Ooh I mean we play football at Texas Tech So like all things are on the table yeah okay so if texas tech is in play the moon is in play yes correct now we're thinking we played

golf do you do you know i only recently learned this that um neil armstrong took communion on the moon is this a joke i can't tell no no this is this is a hundred percent who is uh was he methodist did i have that right oh that's not real communion how do you eat i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna double checklists. These are all great questions. I'm sorry, it's Buzz Aldrin. Buzz Aldrin took communion on the moon. Apologies to Neil Armstrong.

Then it could have been anything. For labeling him as a papist. Buzz Aldrin took communion on the moon. Communion is not just yours, buddy. Buzz was Presbyterian. Also not real communion. Sorry, if you have papist objections to me, belittling astronauts' religions,

please email Spencer at Harumph, harumph at Gmail.com, he is my boss. Yeah. Or you can probably just find him at Spencer at live.com at this point. Alderman was a Presbyterian elder. Oh, he'll never open.

Oh, a deacon. So, yeah, I guess I'm just saying if... Became the first person to hold religious theory on the moon. Just like every deacon I've ever known, it's church weekend. Where is he? Not in fucking church.

I think there's just a very basic logic, too. If a place can have church, a place can also have college football. And if that's true on the... Oh, that's very true. So that's true on the moon. Now we're back to Auburn.

The heat map is a perfect Venn diagram, so to speak. I guess that's why Indiana's so bad at it. Do you think there's just like random communion wine and

wafers just floating through space from that? It's puzzling. I hope so. I hope so. Did he take the wine in like a little caprice? I have to assume so. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. It's like a NASCAR helmet with the straw. No, that wouldn't work either. Let's see. Have we confirmed? Maybe a religious squeeze it of sorts. Ooh.

We confirmed that it was wine. That I'm not sure about either. Grape juice probably. well that's bad folks have we have bread and wine indeed yeah probably wasn't a a little a caprice and type thing a little a little one-shot guy um i love the process of explaining what that's for like surely someone's like do we really need do we really need a whole like you know a whole like um set of schematics for one cracker right i mean there was probably somebody on the Apollo 11th team that was like,

we don't know if the devil is on the moon, and so we might as well not risk it. But we're sending him up there, but look who we're sending him up there with. That's true. You don't really know about columns, do you? No. So it does say here that he poured the wine into a chalice.

So it was just a regular bottle of wine. Yeah. It said the one-sixth gravity of the moon, the wine curled slowly and gracefully up the side of. That sounds favorite. Now we've got fan fake. That sounds fake because I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure he tried to pour it and it just went.

So much communion. And he just started going. He turns over his shoulders. Like, tell him it was graceful. So yes, to Jay's point, there is a little bit of communion wine floating around the moon. It's like a lot of communion wine. That's why we've stopped going back because we trash the place. Just full of golf balls and communion wine.

Oh, and there's just, did you guys know there's just like all their bags of shit are up on the moon? Oh, yeah. left them there. Yeah, they're sitting there. When we go back, that's one of the things we're getting. At least a couple of y'all were Eagle Scouts, which, for shame. It's like a frat house on spring break, just golf balls, shit, and wine. Yeah. Golf balls, wine and shit, yep. And an American flagged, just so they know who left that mess. That's right. God damn right. No, no, no, that's the American flag that's in every frat house. Like, hey, up on the wall. we essentially had a Boston college bachelor party on the moon

on the other side of it is one of those bed sheets they hang down with like all sorts of awful slurs and stuff right you know why is there a scarface poster on the moon because it looks fucking awesome that's why the frat guys who lived next door to us for the longest had a uh had the bed sheet thing on which someone had silk screened rather painstakingly a confederate flag and then silk screened over that this really quite talented drawing of like a 10 point buck That's a lot going on

I only remember this because we only really cross pass with these guys because the night we moved in we didn't have a bottle opener and we knocked the door to ask this guy if he had a bottle opener and he's like I got one in my car hang on also let me tell you about this deer that really believes in states rights his name's Jerry

this feels like The SEC and the Big Ten coming together. Speaking of states. But not of right. Speaking of states. We didn't invite Jay here just so we could pressure him into revealing the Petrogerke's plans to conquer all of Texas football. We brought him here because Jay had a spicy geography, food-related thing to say on Twitter. Jay, I'm going to let you reveal it here and then we'll break it down.

yeah uh so in in my infinite wisdom uh i decided it was a good idea to tweet which it's never a good idea to tweet disagree uh but uh my statement was if i've said it once i've said it a thousand times i'd set the cuisine of these three states up against anywhere in the world and the three states in question are louisiana texas and new mexico uh Now this is objectively accurate. I have very strong feelings for each of these three states, but the internet has strong feelings, both for and against. I do have, New Mexicans love me now, so that's nice.

I'm not mad at that, but there's a lot of, say, you've never traveled, comments. There's a lot of... So let's start there. Do they know how big Texas is? Are you getting more pushback from people who are like... the world is a big place and there are better places outside of the U.S. Or are there randos who are like Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey, these are the food cornerstones of America.

There's a solid like mix of both worldly and United States dissenters, I guess we'd say. One person did actually say to those three states, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware. What? We're the three states. No. No. Absolutely.

I like him in the morning, and I like it called different things. There's a lot of people from California. Delaware food. Scrapple. That's a Pennsylvania thing, though. That's not even Delaware. I'm looking at Google.

Scrapple is all Delaware has. I mean, I don't think Delaware should exist as a state anyway. It doesn't. It's only for corporate purposes. Yeah, nobody's, listen, nobody's been to Delaware, not a soul. Joe Flacco is the only person who's set foot inside Delaware, nobody else. That's one of two states I've never been to. What's the other one?

Hawaii. Two very different choices. They have so many things in common. Jade's, Hawaii was one that a lot of American homers hit you with, which, Hawaii's really small. Hawaii seems really great, and I'm sure they have a million great cuisines, but it's really tiny. All right, well, that's...

The area you picked this huge. Jay, how many U.S. States have you visited? I don't know the exact count. I would have to, like, name them off. What would you say your rough count? Do you have big geographic areas? Or you're like, I haven't been to, like, the Upper Northeast. Yeah, so the Upper Northeast is definitely my biggest gap.

I have been to Pennsylvania, but it's only Western Pennsylvania. and that was a part of a trip to Morgantown, so Pittsburgh wasn't like super high and less. I did get like French fries on a sandwich. That was nice cuisine. Pittsburgh's widely known as a suburb of Morgantown. It's all right. I think that's, I mean, once you go to Pittsburgh and Morgantown,

there's no cuisine past that. Combined, however, they are New York's best borough. Well, yeah. Like, I've been to Seattle, and I do I did like the food up there I've been to California I've been to Las Vegas On the east coast I've been as far north

I guess I don't know Does Pennsylvania touch the ocean? I don't think that counts Yeah so on the east coast I've been as far north as North Carolina The west coast I've been I have an Oregon size gap But I mean I've traveled a little

bit. Obviously, I haven't seen enough of the world. Mexico and Jamaica are my two countries that I've been to. Okay. Well, Grant Kamen is, I guess, part of the British Empire. So I've been to the... Just say you've been to England. A British island. I've been to a British island. I mean...

I'm basically the king now. Yeah. So, but no, I definitely, I've never been to Europe. Okay. Never been to South America, never been to Asia, which is where I think a lot of the cuisine rebuttals were coming from. One thing that I think was lost in all this is I'm not saying that those three states are necessarily better. I just think they like deserve recognition on the world stage. Yeah, taken literally, it was honestly at first surprising to see you got so much pushback because just reading the words you wrote, they're very hard to disagree with. Wait, wait, wait.

And then it was like, well, this is the internet. Anyone can disagree with anything. Jay said something about food on the internet. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Just looking at the words that are there, all Jay was saying is he was bigging up this geographic region that includes not only its own cuisines, but also, as Jay noted, an incredible amount of diversity.

Houston alone has, like, perfectly good restaurants in any cuisine you can imagine, right? like none of this was about everyone else is bad it was about this this is as good as just about anywhere else which it was just amazing to see so many people disagree so fiercely with yeah for every for every tell me you've never traveled a person on there I think we can probably throw back tell me you've never been to Houston and there's there was a lot of that and and I do get like if the argument is that like the diversity of cuisine doesn't count towards the cuisine of a state I get people saying that

but by the same token I mean they're holding up Italy as a bastion of culture cultural food I mean Italy got the the tomato from North America and pasta from China so what are we doing with that I mean not to piss off the Italians I think it's called fusion

it's what fancy people call it exactly and it's like all right So you want the world's best Italian food. You go to Italy. The world's second best Italian food, fuck, you might find it in Houston. You know what I mean? Why would it be, you know what I mean?

If there's a gap in the cuisine of Houston, I do think it's Italian food. With that being said, New Orleans actually has a pretty good Italian food scene. I think a lot of people don't realize that. But there's like a whole bunch of Sicilian immigrants in New Orleans and have been for a while. while. But, I mean, again, this is all personal preference at the end of the day with food.

Yeah, but you expressed it on the internet. Yeah. And therefore, you must be killed. This is why the rule is never tweet. I have not, I have not been to New Mexico. And I am not necessarily surprised that it made your list, but I would like to know more about why you picked it over insert other state here. So your other options would have basically been Oklahoma, Arkansas, Mississippi, if you wanted to stick to a onion-y burger. New Mexico is such a great little hidden treasure. It's like if Arizona was good.

Yeah. Like Arizona is loud and New Mexico and Texas is loud. And New Mexico kind of hides in between them like Ribendell. Anyway, sorry. Yeah, it's like, well, in New Mexico too, you have Colorado. to the north and everybody that goes to Colorado from Texas just kind of drives through New Mexico and assumes it's not much look at New Mexico has some great sites first of all the history and I mean this is where I get into my Michigan dad form here the history of New Mexico

is just fantastic looking at like Santa Fe is one of the oldest cities in the United States people don't realize that because they just assumed the East Coast it's just a fascinating place for me. But obviously on the culinary side of things, my love for New Mexico begins with the noble hatch green chili, which I think is one of the best things to ever exist. Tell us all about the wonders of this. Shout out to reader Haley, who for several Christmases now has mailed me hatched green chilies from New Mexico because you cannot get them here. Not the good ones. It's not the same. The soil's not the same. Yeah, I have a friend who lives in Albuquerque and mails me like frozen chilies. And I don't really, like I'm not the best at describing flavor,

which is funny because one of the things I do is, is right about food. But it's like a, it's not as like spicy or as pungent, I guess, as like a jalapia. You call it earthy? I think earthy. But that makes it sound disgusting and it's not. It's like one of those flavors that's more flavorful than hot, except like once every 10, you'll get a really hot one. Yeah. And then there are hot ones which are, I mean, I love those too. It's kind of just a nice little present.

But it's almost got like a smoky flavor to it as well. And they're excellent smoked. Yes. So good. And I think they go on just about anything and improve it. I know like Spencer's not here, but a lot of people's complaint with Tex-Mex cuisine is that it relies too much on cheese. The New Mexican side of things, it's less reliant on cheese.

And I kind of appreciate that about it. I mean, I, uh, more like sauce-based. Is that, yeah. There's more sauce-based for sure. Also more corn-forward. Like more different, like, varietals of corn. Like the blue corn plays. I also kind of like just.

like seeing different colors in my food. And I think it's a visual thing. And like the blue corn tortillas against like when the chili's ripened, they become more of a red flavor or red color. I guess I can taste red too. But it's... Red is a flavor. They serve it and punch.

Yeah. Like red juice. You get it. But it's seeing the contrast of the two against each other is nice. And I mean, I mean, Cardiadovada is like one of my favorite New Mexican dishes. It's more the red chilies kind of like stewed into a sauce and then it served with pork. I love that they serve it in like a breakfast burrito form, which is, you know, the red sauce with the pork with the eggs.

It's just a whole bunch of flavor. And I don't know. I'm probably not doing the best way of making it. sound just delicious to people. But I just think it's a criminally underrated state. And again, part of the unsaid part of that tweet was I was talking about three states that all border each other. And I didn't really get that across.

But I mean, kind of like you touched on, I wasn't going to go with Oklahoma or Arkansas, no offense to those states. I mean, Mississippi, I think, has an argument. It is, it is offense to those states. Those states should take offense and they should get better for them. And then, I mean, the other thing, too, is I'm a big coffee guy. Not, like, super snobbish about it, but, like, New Mexico does pinyon pine nuts in their coffee, or they roast it together. I'm not sure exactly how it works.

I'm not a roaster myself, so I don't know how the process plays out, but it's just, again, we're going to go back to this word, earthy flavor that I think just kind of add something to it. Listen, Jay loves to eat dirt, and everybody on the internet fight with him about it can go eat dirt, too. This is actually how I ended up at A&M. Because I'm so good at eating dirt and getting to where the oil is, you're like dig-dug. It just was a natural, a natural progression. We just pointed Pac-Man South and stuck, stuck oil. Was it Dig-Dug?

Was that the similar thing? Yes. Yes. It was dirt Pac-Man, yeah. Yep. But I just think New Mexico gets overlooked. I mean, it's not, again, like Texas and Arizona are super loud. Colorado is like gentrified New Mexico.

It's, I just love the state and everything about it. I think it's got such a rich culture and that extends to the food. And you pair it with Texas and Louisiana who both have fantastic cuisines, which we haven't even got into yet. And it's, I just think that's, this, this group of three is a powerhouse. Especially for three contiguous states, I have a hard time picking three more together. Well, what's nice is that they are, they are contiguous, but they are also distinctive. Like, there are lots of places where if you pick three states that all sat together and were like, the food of these three is great.

You're like, the food of those three is the same. Like, but the food in New Mexico is very different from the food in Louisiana. and the food in Texas is just like so multifaceted that like Texas is almost cheating yeah yeah it's sort of the Epcot of food

which is ironic for all those people who are like you've never traveled and all your countries are the size of Rhode Island and you have trains oh man now I'm sad a dream I have dreams of having trains

to take me well you just have trains but we got to robin And then we got to crashing. Sorry, we had too much fun. Yep. Sorry, we had too much fun with our trains. So we partied too hard for our trains, America. Mom said we had to put our air to our trains.

Also, one of the critiques that I got on the list, and I want to bring this up because this one kind of made me mad, was that Louisiana is nothing but poor people food? What the shit? First of all, what's wrong with poor people food? Four people food is the best food everywhere. Find me a country whose peasant food is not its best food. second of all fuck you not you

exactly so like Texas barbecue also started as like who said that I would have to go back and find let us bully them lobster was poor people food

for fucking ever oysters were poor people food yeah all the best food start as poor people food and then the rich fuckers come in and ruin it also do you have any idea

how much you can spend in New Orleans on lunch like you know what's poor people food and it's fucking great rice yeah Boudan Mm-hmm

Did this person Or did people elaborate by what they meant Or why this was a bad thing Okay this is yeah cool I'm finding this person Also like you can fucking spend some money on food Louisiana it's not hard to do And like anyone with that kind of take is

Guess what they are a person that they're telling us They've never traveled Somebody really insecure about their class status. Okay. You will find it hard to believe, but the person who said this to Jay has a blue check. Did you find them?

They're rich enough to send Elmo their money. Their username is, their username is pay $8 and shut the fuck up. No, no. Also no. Can I afford $8 worth of Jambalaya. Yuck.

I just look at it like, like where is the best french food outside of france louisiana is in contention right any other cuisine texas has a okay it's not the best but is it 90% of the way there is it 80% of the way there i would put the best vietnamese food outside of vietnam in texas i'm not starting a fight yes i said some of but that's fine right the best indisputably the best texmecs in the world some of the best mexican in the world new mexico as well has its own variations there Like, not only is there so much original stuff, but also you can't go to so many of the, so many, you know, countries that have like, this is our cuisine and also get a little bit of everywhere. So, like, I mean, I think, I think all of that was inherent in your tweet, and I think a lot of people chose to miss it.

Yeah. I mean, there was also, like, a guy, not to get into the whole barbecue fight, but he said that Texas barbecue is an edible. And cited that Jesus. The brisket in Memphis is better than Texas brisket No. No.

That's not the fight to pick for Memphis. Hello. Native. I sincerely did not know that we were still doing barbecue fights in 2020. I thought like we left that in mind. It is kind of a

You can be almost relieved that it was such a small fraction of yesterday's fight. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Like it could have been worse. I did enjoy the Skyline Chili The Skyline chili crowd getting in there

That was a much needed bit of levity Stand down Listen, they're the Big 12 They will stand up, God damn it Jay, you're perhaps I'm trying to remember you're perhaps the most Innocente Twitter main character that we've ever had

I mean Because he began with the pure heart I tried to keep it pure, but sometimes it's hard. You were. Also, again, you were correct. If you, Jay, if you had to pick a fourth state, doesn't have to touch these other three. Who are you putting on next? Now let's get them in trouble.

So, I think there's a few ways to approach this. Okay. I think New York gets brought up just because of how international the city is. There's a lot of options there. Italian food, obviously, very good up there. I think you have to look at Florida for the Latin influences and the Caribbean influences

as far as Cuban food that's something that's I enjoy personally I think you go to South Carolina and look at like low country boils and also the pork barbecue further end state as well

but there's some options. The best sushi I've ever had is in Seattle so I mean it's in the running for me I don't know I legitimately, if I circle all the way back around through the Midwest, Chicago, by nature of its deep dish pizza, which some people would say is not pizza, I don't really care, it's good. And then also their Greek food in Seattle, or in Chicago is stellar, in my opinion. And I'm not just saying that because I recently watched my big fat Greek wedding for the fifth time.

I mean, there's a few different ways that you could go with this. sure what would you guys pick i wouldn't pick if we can't choose yours because yours is a like i hear what you're saying about Cuban food and i agree with it and i think there are some other pockets of florida food that this applies to

probably get pub subs i remember all florida just makes me think of hungry howies which isn't even from there right right like there's you get hooters wings this is not maybe the fairest, uh, the fairest, uh, basis to grade upon. There's just a lot of trash food in Florida. So much trash food in Florida. But that said, like, you know, like lobster once upon a time. Who knows what it will become? It may be, it may be cuisine in the future. That's right.

It's called Burger King. God damn it. Not burger surf. Oat Pockets. Um, New York is a good pick. New York, like, it's an annoying pick, but. And it's, it's, Beyond sort of the, like, flashy what, you know, certain food media likes to write about, there is just a lot of reliable, if you go to the right places in the city, like, you can get really good tacos. You can, like, some of the best bond me, I have had, are in, like, way further flung out in Brooklyn and stuff. So New York is a good pick, but I understand if people don't go with it. necessarily because like also new york has a lot of trash food too Spencer's probably eating it right now he's a sabarro you know it

yep yep it's this probably another one that maps very similarly to college football recruiting other than new york being good at it is uh i mean california would also be on the list right yes yeah like yeah just everything from tacos to sushi all right tip and if you're bringing in alcohol i mean and you might have wine from California. Yeah. It's a piece.

You could have the countless breweries in Colorado under consideration. I mean, it just kind of depends on what you value and what you add weight to. I like the geographic contiguity thing because, like, it's hard to find three states in a row that are truly distinct and special. Like if someone said Washington and Oregon are bringing different things to the table, I'm like, hmm, I definitely know what the differences are in those things. Yes, absolutely. North Dakota and South Dakota. Oh, thank goodness. We've got them both. Yeah, Missouri has the power to ruin so many states. Look at all the states it touches. Missouri. Porn is food. We could go Washington for the Seattle offerings.

Idaho for the potatoes. And then down into Utah for... Wow. Milkshakes. What's that... Is it like a jelly bean casserole or whatever that they do? They do have the corn palace there, don't they? That's quite a creative map you've drawn there.

See, Z.J's been thinking about these things. He's making his own mind mold. Who else would think to take that route? It's like white supremacist Oregon Trail. I mean, not inaccurate I think I understand the people the international critics

of your map a little more because I don't because they're sorry go ahead my only answer to this is that like I don't think it's necessarily yes Italy has great food and they have great Italian food but a lot of it is that you are on vacation

in Italy Like, it's very hard, I think, to separate the totality of the experience from the food. And that is different from I was in Houston on business, and we went to a good Italian restaurant. That is not the same thing as, like, we flew to Italy for two weeks, and we fucked off. So I get it from, like, I don't think the argument comes from Europe. If I'm, like, making a counterargument. Yeah. I think, like, I would go with Asia first.

Like I would go Thailand, Vietnam, China I might Okay, yeah And the thing too Is with getting China You get like a A whole bunch of different cultural

Depending on what parts of the country that you're in Right I think India also has to be up there for consideration I just realize we're fundamentally drafting again And I think that's great I think if they get to claim that many chefs we get to claim our entire hemisphere. Sure.

Like what you're, the other thing you're proposing is a pound for pound per capita cuisine. You know, this group here, yeah, Texas has hell of people. New Mexico doesn't. And yet it has an incredible unique cuisine

that everyone should try, you know? And like an entire country versus three states, granted one of them is enormous, but still, all of Europe fits inside that state. sir. I've seen the maps. To me the entire point feels like

this little part of one country has so many cuisines and so many versions of other cuisines that it can would not be blown off the map by anywhere else. I am Japan is the one place I am willing to

like I'm curious if that might be the exception mostly because a lot of people are like actually the best pizza in the world is in Japan now. It's not in Italy anymore. They have, like, not just figured out what Italy does and done it better. Like, they have actually evolved it in a better way.

And so I think... Do you blame the Defector Mario for that? Yes. Yes. I do. I do. And his traitorous brother as well. Yeah. I'm just... I'm glad we... I'm glad, Jay, you could bring up, like, real, I don't know, what we call this, real, like, 2014 kind of internet argument to have? Without trying to start one, is the, like, kind of, I mean, the beauty for tremendous content-wise,

obviously it was probably unpleasant being healed at by the world, but there was no ill will on your part, and I think that was very clear. I think most people are, you know, understanding of the approach, but there's definitely a... sizable portion that are just very angry all the time and you know I think there was two ways to approach it right some people said hey uh I really like this maybe this would be under consideration I'm like I would love to try that and then there's people that you idiot you you stupid person why have you not traveled more uh why would you say something this ignorant and I'm like well if you'll pay me I'll travel and go eat it but

So far, I haven't had any donations on the Venmo, like, on my account. Maybe, maybe, uh... Oh, cowards, interesting. I guess they don't actually believe in their food. I guess they want you to continue eating that poor people's food from Louisiana. What don't they want you to find out? I'm just saying. I like the concept of a travel show where, like, Jay goes,

Jay goes around the world. And at the end, at the airport, you know, where he's done, like, he's visited Sweden. And all he says before he gets on the plane, is not as good as New Mexico. It's a screen phase. It gets back on the plane. I think it'd be great if I, like, took green chilies with me everywhere

and, like, just put them on top of whatever dish I'm eating. Johnny chili seed. Yep. Yep. Yep. I also love it. It would be the rest of the world, like, hate cooking for you.

Like, we will prove the American wrong. And, and, you know, at some point, you'd just have, like, oh, no, not that, anything but that, you know. Mm-hmm. in the NFL there is no margin for error one mistake can change the outcome of the game science proves quality sleep can help boost reaction time recovery time and overall athletic performance as the official sleep wellness partner of the NFL sleep number's mission is to provide players with data and insights to optimize their sleep for the ultimate competitive edge sleep is essential for recovery and we all have unique needs that's why sleep number smart beds are perfect for couples with individualized settings for each side. Since 2018, Sleep Number and the NFL have teamed up to bring quality sleep to elite athletes. Eight out of 10 NFL players, including 80% of Kansas City Chiefs players trust Sleep Number for their best rest. And now, during Sleep Number's biggest

sale of the year, say 50% on the Sleep Number Limited Edition Smart Bed, plus special financing for limited time. Only at a sleep number store or sleep number.com. Sleep Number, official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL. See Store for details. Hey, Jay, where can people find you and all your stuff on the internet? When they're not yelling at you on Twitter. Yeah, when they're not yelling at me on Twitter. Well, Twitter's the best place to find all of my stuff.

But recently became part of a Pocket Talk Sports Festival, which our goal is to put on the World's Fair of Sports in Houston in 2024. So stay tuned for that I believe we have a press release coming out I mean Wednesday tomorrow Perfect so Yeah we set that up on purpose Yeah yeah yeah and then Spencer tried to snob on it

With his stupid live bullshit We're not going to let that happen So now Wait is this like the world games Or like an expo Like an expo That sounds awesome nice Yeah the goal is to like have

All kinds of sports startups and leagues and fans and everything like I think we're going to have like actual competitions there and then also have like vendors selling

merch and kind of just everything I mean I think it's supposed to be beautiful chaos, light music food all the all the works in Houston will there be poor people food there will be poor people food because I'm in charge of the

Tailgate. There will also be the world best Italian food. Yeah. That's right. Just to spite them. Yep. Yeah. Great fusion those Italians have.

You know one cuisine that didn't get brought up that I think deserves a little more credit is Georgia. And that's the country, not the state. The face holly is. I was confused. Now I'm not. Yeah, sorry. Hotchipuri is like one of the best things I've ever had, and it's just bread, egg, cheese and it's so simple but so delicious i don't know if i've ever eaten at the georgian restaurant

before oh man i highly recommend the state should have more of them i think just for the laughs you know we can have a georgia georgia exchange yeah there should be uh one of the things people brought up and it was mentioned a couple times i got a couple of dms people saying you're a fat American. I'm like, well, maybe if you liked your food more, you would eat more of it. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Yeah, why is it an argument against you to say you like food? Yeah. It must be good. I mean, I'm just, you know, it's, uh, I just, uh, I think you should enjoy food. You eat, you should eat what you enjoy. And, you know, uh, you're not going to get to

eat for forever so you might as well I will Jay I mean modern advances in science I guess in the cloud you're not live money from Spencer I'm going to be uploaded my consciousness is going to be uploaded to a Cc's pizza that never closes because I can't eat apple dessert

pizza 50,000 years trapped in a hell of my own making you're going to get so bored and that's crazy that's the worst place to be bored with what you're eating because they'll try some shit you know they haven't already it you're going to get some potato, nacho, cinnamon pizza? Yeah.

And then you're playing Street Fighter while you're eating. Now I've got to see. Caramelized pumpkin pizza. Locations. Please, home. I just want to make sure. That's the other thing, too, is I do indulge in healthy amounts of shit food from time to time. Yeah, we got that.

So of the states you chose, Jay, Cici's has one location in New Mexico. eight locations in Louisiana. Let's go Texas. And far more than any other state union and possibly more than every other state combined. 134 locations in Texas. I think she's from Texas. How many locations in Texas would be too many?

The answer is apparently 135 for now. That's so much mac and cheese pizza. Oh my God. San Antonio has five alone. How many does Italy have? Not cowards. Whoops. Cic's was founded in Plano, Texas.

Was it? Damn. Damn. Run enough to score at this point. I am 1.5 miles from a C.C.s right now, and I have not been in 10 years. Yeah, I haven't been since before the pandemic. Yeah, but to your point of, like, eating shit food from time to time, I do think it is important to, like, cleanse the palate with, like, a domino's pizza every now and then. Sure.

Or something like that. How could you ever respect, like, what you're getting from some places? Obviously, there are some of, you know, from some place. Sometimes you just need to, like, realize how far we've come from the... Also, calling it shit food is a compliment. It's like you've taken, you know, not great ingredients and turned this into something that millions of people enjoy. Yeah. Peanut butter and jelly is a shit food.

But that's, like, three very common things that everyone has in their home. It actually turns out to be pretty good every time. Yeah. I think there's an honesty to it. And accepting this thing I'm putting into my face makes my brain happy. And I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about it, right? And there's a defiance in that as well, right? Like, oh, oh, this isn't good enough for someone on the internet from whichever country.

Well, it's not my problem. It's good enough for me. Like, Italy doesn't have 7-Eleven. That means Italy doesn't have slurpees. So you can fuck right off, Italy. Not even room with your limoncello or whatever. Who's raising your children if the slush pup is not raising them? Fucking idiots.

How do you know that gelato is delicious unless occasionally you're having a frighteningly blue slopey? A blue not found in nature. Anywhere. Anywhere. People are born, lived their entire lives and die without ever eating anything blue. They can have their gelato. I'll stick to my Listeria Bluebell ice cream. Nothing blue da-a-d-d-d-dab-di-da-die.

I'll bring it a blue-ass slurpy to the moon when I go. That's my communion. That's my Florida religion right there. Is ass modifying blue or slurpy? Yes. Thank you. Eventually, yes. God, how true.

You're a philosopher today. In the end, all slurpees become ass. That's true. Sorry. That's right. I hadn't thought about that, but every time I drink a slurper, I'm telling my body

This is what you're going to make more of me out of Tough shit If you don't like it, body We're going to be a little bit slurpy now We're trying to knit this bone Nope It's going to be a little bit of a slurpy bone It's a ass-eating season

Slurpy bone Can't believe Spencer's not here I can because he's busy Destroying the sport of golf just to distract from his own fucking failures is that why is that the motivation

not the billions of dollars yes he's hoping that he's hoping that if he can engineer this merger everybody will forget that he has agreed to play golf in the big pants oh

is this a ploy to have everyone play in big pants so he won't be embarrassed yes that way it's not a big thing Yeah, I don't know why. It's part of the new rules of the organization. How do you pronounce the name of the big pants? JNCOs.

They're JNCOs, but one person on Earth calls them JNCOs. And Alex Kircher calls them JNCOs. Yeah, that's what I was going to get to. Somebody was trying to convince me that it was spelled out. Alex's, we went over this a couple weeks ago. Alex's at least has a logic underpinning it. Yeah. Like it's in all caps, so it does stand a reason that on first read.

You might assume that it is an acronym. Spencer's is, is nowhere. It's something, it is tethered to nothing. It's something a, um, it is a nightmare belief. It's something a judgmental 90s dad. Why wearing them junkos? Waring them damn junkos around your ankles. No, it's like calling it Super Mario brothers.

You got it, right. You got another thing coming if you think you're coming to church of those, them junkos. Well, they call them that because it look like junk. Because I can see your junk, son. see your freaking junk for junk hoes let me tell you boy you ain't packing enough junk for all them

drunkos normal pants would contain them just fine I just like Alex spelling it out that makes sense he wasn't alive at the time Spencer was Spencer possibly not paying attention to what people were saying about pants Spencer's the only one of us who was old enough to buy his own pants

while these were a thing Spencer was old enough to look down on people wearing jinkos at the time. You know what I mean? Like, he, he had grown out of the age at which people were wearing them.

To be fair to Spencer, if you've only read it and you've never heard it said out loud, that can happen. He went to high school when, like, there's no way he never heard the word said. He knew exactly what the fuck here.

There's no way. That man has never had a fago in his life. He knows what's up. Now, I will say, oh, I will disagree. Hard disagree there. Then he has no excuse.

Why is he shitting on jink? No, that's what I'm saying. Makes it worse. He's a monster. I thought the name Debra was pronounced DeBora for a while. That's cooler, though. I think it has been.

I think it looks cooler or sounds cooler for sure. But, you know, it's just one of those things where, you know, if you didn't hear it. But I guess y'all are making the argument that he definitely heard it. And there's no excuse me. I tried Spencer. I will. No, our argument is that he has been absorbed in it for, he has been absorbed in it beyond all reasonable excuse. And is saying it this way anyway.

If you told me Spencer has only bought four pairs of pants for himself over the course of his life, I would believe that. I would believe that the vast majority of Spencer's pants, to the extent that he's ever worn them, were purchased by third parties. How many zipped off do you think? I think at least two of the four. Do you think zip down the side or convert to shorts at the knee? That might be all if we're covering just both of those. Convert to shorts through zip off or convert to shorts through neglect? Both.

Okay. Erosion, let's say. Server, are you saying pants that both is hip on the sides and at the knee? Do they make those? Yeah, there's so many zips. Yeah, I think so. That's your new. You're like a transplant falling apart.

We had some in basketball. You can make a cheer outfit out of that. They were a warm-up pants. They were warm-up pants and shorts and had buttons on the side or whatever. Yeah. Yep. A little button. The buttons I'm dead so that you could zip up the leg.

And then they also had zips to make them shorts. That's asking a lot of a protein. Yeah. Did you like lose parts of it and trading legs with your friends? They didn't make it the whole season for sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's on them, frankly. But yeah, I don't believe Spencer has bought the majority of his pants.

So maybe that's why he just like, he has pants blindness. maybe he doesn't know what any pants are called. This is just the only brand we've ever asked him about. How would he pronounce Wranglers? Not when he probably knows because he loves Brett Farr, because he loves using illicit money for bad sports purposes. He has said that. See, Spencer, you missed the shout out.

Trash you all up and down the court. Here's the thing. He's not going to listen. No. Of course not. None of this is going to take. He's not going to listen. ever no and he's definitely

he won't look at his mentions that won't happen either nope eventually eventually it's just like once he looks and he sees everyone's accusing him of betraying America's golf or whatever of course I did that he'll go along with it you won't care yeah

that's true he really is bulletproof must be nice You know,