Shutdown Fullcast - Brian Kelly's Grimy Mutualism

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

A TMNT-based roleplaying game sparks both a look inward and a death penalty debateRyan's audio is real weird in this one for some reason. Sorry about that!There's some RFK voice work in here, which is practically indistinguishable from the glitching. You are welcomeCrime Blotter: Pinellas County woman goes 2 hotSeries of Charlotte-based warnings dispensedJames Bond continuity issues, solvedBrian Kelly buyout lawsuit drama, dissected with an amount of seriousness that may surprise and/or dismay youPlus! The week 12 college football slateThis episode produced by Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Matthew FlovskiDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it's notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason's critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz and his new show PodcasterinoNow through December 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to Trans Ohio. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase exclusive PTKU Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-branded loot

Oh, I'm not on mute. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the Tasmanian devil. Hey, hey. Is that good? Did that work? Mood, there. Just start this with mood. See, hot places, hot places generate really, really antisocial behavior.

This is one of my, I'm with Montesquieu. I'm mad because I'm cold. Why didn't they have Elmer Fudd killed Tass? Like, Tass was a liability. I don't want to be dark about it, but Taz was barely there, right? Like he was, yeah, he was on that verge of, so I used to, oh boy, oh boy, okay.

Sorry, so. Are you? I'm going to do it. So I used to play, when I was in middle school, I used to play the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle role-playing game. Sure. And you could choose to be any variant of mutant animal, but there was a problem.

you had to choose your degree of humanity. So, for instance, like Leonardo, he had like 10 out of 10, right? They were just dudes who happened to be turtles. There was a problem, huh? Well, if you set your shit too low and you were like, I'm a 1 out of 10 on the like, you know, anthropomorphic scale,

then your character would just eat people. It wouldn't, you know, you'd be like, hey, I want to tell that, you know, the DM would be like, which way do you go, young Tyrannosaurus? You're all id. You're all id. And you wouldn't be able to communicate. so like you would do like it would be like I would like to tell my teammates to follow me down this hall and you would be like you do this and you just eat them you know incredibly use of the subjunctive here yeah so I feel like I feel like that's where that's where we're at here I just think like they should have the Looney Tunes should have gone to Elmer Fudd and Wiley Coyote and said listen we know that you're bad at this but this is important we need you to take this dude out he is going to kill one of us he is going to

like he can't he's a glue guy he can't be a part of civilized looney in society he's a glue guy and i'm not a death penalty advocate i want to be clear here but i think in this particular case like he literally can't keep him in a cage is there room for a third space on death penalty advocacy oh boy this got even trickier okay what's the third what's the third option not to directly channel my mother but when she first retired you know after decades and decades in public education

I said well what are you going to do now and I meant do you have plans to like redo your bathroom over the summer and without missing a beat she goes I think I should be able to decide who gets to vote in what's on television and in that spirit

I'm like I don't believe the state should kill people because there's no takebacks and we're very bad at it. Sure. Here we go. Okay. I don't feel like the state should kill people.

This is not a moral position. How's that? This is a practical one in some ways? This is we're demonstrably bad at getting this right. And until there are takebacks for this, I don't think we should do it. So you want a doom bringer position of government? I feel like I would be a really good judge of who lives and who dies.

Sure. And I'm aware that historically this is problematic. but like dudes have been getting to decide who lives and who dies for like we see where that's gotten us more lady doombringers i'm just like put it all like i'm volunteering to be a civil servant really put this sure put this in my hands okay and i'm not saying and and you know there's you know there's ladies is horrors too are our our the the deaths down the deaths down at women's hands are for the most part off the books the ones that are on the books horrific but

I'm different I so this is the to get this clear thank you server I don't I don't think the state should kill people I should kill people yeah sure yeah well no I just want to like I don't want to do it I just want to decide

all right that's why it's the doom I want to is this just is this justinian who's this I forget I always forget also if like which one is right which one is it's fine not a big deal yeah because it's not the one you think right Not the, yeah, right. Thumbs down, I don't think actually meant, like, kill him. I think it meant no, don't.

Which, on the other hand, I'm like, this is a bad communication system for whether a gladiator should die or not. Like, it should have been, we should have used what we use now in arenas, which is like, all right, make some noise. Like, it should have just been rough. Just like looking at the little like thermometer. Yes. Rough assessment of, I think what we're accidentally creating now is the running man, however. And this is, this podcast is not. sponsored by the running man which not sponsored by the running man well which i just realized we

already discussed a few weeks ago when spencer's i said oh we got to do the running man and spencer said oh you mean a game sir and i just said no i want to kill people so it's it's possible that there's a theme who was your go-to mutant character for your teenage mutant ninja turtles RPG game me oh um it will not you were just gonna no i thought he was asking if each of us had a turtle avatar as a child because we all did right for for for for for the brief time I played this game, one game it was a T-Rex with a very low humanity rating. One game.

That proved to be impractical, Ryan. That's just a T-Rex. That's just a T-Rex. It's just a T-Rex. Yeah. Yeah. Also, did I make the decision that I didn't get to play a second game as just a feral

T-Rex? No. No. My compatrius decided that was not an option I could have anymore. I like that people are like, we want to embrace this this world of creativity and artistry and imagination and you're just like te rex terex oh great i have always been this way i know uh then after that it was a then after that it was a then after that it was a bear it was a bear had to up that significantly so it was you know it was a pretty like pretty suave bear it was a bear with a lot of you know like

emotional intelligence should we all should we all cold gas each other Ninja Turtle avatars? I feel like I've said this before, but yeah, let's do it. All right. Let's try to... Mine's a trick question. Mine's a trick question. Is yours not a turtle?

No, it's a turtle, but I've evolved. Not unlike the turtles themselves. Okay. All right. Here comes Sonny to unplug absolutely everything. Spencer, give us... Hey, Spencer, Sonny's up here with me. Did you know?

Oh, wow. Hey. I'm going to guess this. Possum? Me? Yeah, could you be like... That's not a ninja turtle. No, I'm saying in this... Oh, okay, I've totally misunderstood the assignment.

Possum Angelo. Yeah. All right, let me start. Let me start with Cerber. This is maybe a stereotype. I feel like you were a Michelangelo. Yeah, I was a Mikey as a kid, so... Okay, yeah, as a kid is who I'm looking at here.

Okay, okay. My, hmm, I, I join with... And I feel like because we both started this as like eight-year-olds or whatever, we were always destined to be friends, even though we were like well-past grown adults before we became fast friends. I stand shoulder to shoulder with our brother Michael Felder in that I am a lifelong Michelangelo aging rapidly into a Raphael. Okay. Interesting.

I would have you. Because how I think about Michael Angelina now, and I'm just like, that's exhausting. That whole deal is exhausting. Spencer's impossible to triangulate here. Spencer's Casey Jones mostly. Can we do this in a Zodiac setting? Because I think there I could nail him. You're saying he's like a Leonardo cusp.

You're going to say cusp and rise in here? No, that's kind of. Yeah, exactly. Like I think, because I think this is clearly like the deepest Michelangelo of any of us. However, I feel like he's like a, I feel like he's like a son,

Michelangelo, Moon, Leo. okay i can do i can live with that you whether you like it or not you have leadership qualities whether you choose to deploy them and what you choose to deploy them at is for the moment set to the one side and subsumed by your michael angelo michelangeloian tendencies right yes yes i mean in alchuk had leadership qualities too so yeah i get that i i I don't, I feel bad saying this. I don't think of you as a party dude.

Like, you're a good hang. Don't get me wrong. I just don't think of you as a party dude. In my younger days, perhaps. It's harsh for it. It's harsh to hear from a Donatello that you're not a party dude. A hundred percent. A hundred percent.

You have nailed me to, you have nailed me. Oh, see, listen, we're among, and we're in a, we're in a swath of population here. We're in this, in this safe space. And I would not feel okay about expanding this beyond. anybody on this show to have this conversation but I feel emotionally in here we can all confess that being a donatello is not the slam that it might be in the outside world no particularly like do you do you want the groceries shopped for let girls listen girls go home with whoever you marry a donatello if you're lucky right yeah like you you want to marry those qualities

ladies dudes yeah that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like do you want do you want like listen do you want okay you might have to leave you might have to leave the function at 10 p.m. because him sweepy but do you want homemade cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning when you wake up or not yeah literally made cinnamon rolls on Sunday. See Donatello through and through you don't really you don't want. I'm just saying I feel like the qualities that you appreciate in a ninja turtle changes as you ate. Michaelangelo's buying that shit at public that best that's if he remembers it's so sweet that you think he's awake yeah that's true the the the Teenage Ninja Turtle character archetype most likely to have done a stint in rehab you don't think you don't think it's Raff interesting oh Raff probably shouldn't Raff would never go to rehab perhaps not going to rehab yeah yeah no you have the intervention for Raff and he's

like later dudes yeah there's a little bit of Batman in there and I mean in terms of like the I'm gonna beat up the mentally ill about it yeah sure I can see him getting into some like woo wellness stuff as well like oh man he's totally maha yeah yeah my name is vengeance time to beat a hobbo to death actually pizza is the most healthy food he does taste like it tastes like it tastes like Jesus wept. He does sound like his entire, like, tongue throat apparatus has been run over a box grader. Drink that's more

water. Folks, as much as you might be disenjoying this at home, I assure you it's worse on over-ear headphones. Doritos are basically the same toxic sludge that turn the turtles into ninjas. It does sound like he has a number

of secrets of the ooze. That's one of those things where you go, man, I'm going to make fun of someone for something that happened to their voice. I'm like, yeah, I've watched that dude driving to a fucking canyon. Yeah. Part of the trickiest part about

the Ninja Turtles is the idea that you could raise for, I mean, they're basically Splinter's children. And not one of them would be like, I don't want to do this. One of them would want to do something else, right? I want to go to business school. Right.

Yeah. Like, fuck you, dad. I'm a thing. theater guy. Yeah. Or like, you know, Raff would be like, hey man,

you're gonna do adult film for a while. You're just gonna have to deal with it. I got it. I got a ceramics degree from Swarthmore. It costs $185,000. I fuck pizzas on only fans. Yeah. Yeah, my O.F is feeding this whole family.

I like that your, your spectrum goes, amateur porn ninja turtle. that ninja warriors that's it yeah well listen why do you see the y axis or where do you see the z axis i'm about to put on this it's gonna be crazy very that's upsetting yeah don't like that Welcome to the shutdown full cast.

You are listening to the internet's only college football podcast. Where are you? I'm in the guest room because the office is going to be used to construct some shelves and, etc. so I am in here and you're in here with me no I'm not I am Spencer Hall and if you are listening to this

I am on with Ryan Nanny Holly Anderson and Michael Serber Jason is going to make an appearance by voicemail because someone cut through his internet line at his house was not my dad but it's very funny

that this has happened to two of us now the dream the dream no one can reach you now no one knows your business log off no one knows your business you don't have to know anyone else's throw your phone in a pool and look you're happy you're happy again this allegedly happened during the uh i say allegedly because jason told us and we weren't there we didn't do this we didn't do this ourselves but there was a repair being done to the basement wall

that resulted in the severing of the internet cable and i do like that right now this presents us with a binary choice of do you want your house to have walls or do you want it have internet. Easy decision for me. Now you're free. Congratulations, Jason. He's never coming back. And we love that for you.

Yeah, honestly, congrats. Yeah, big ups. We wanted to discuss the first pizza-related. Actually, second. I'm so glad you guys wanted to get. Okay, I'm going to flip this. This was my addition to the sheet, but I want to just slide this over to both Spencer and Ryan because I'm pretty sure I know

where this is. And I'm pretty sure the specific location of this makes this feat kind of an incredible accomplishment of offensive and defensive driving and luck. But I would like you guys to go a little bit more in depth because I'm not a native. All right. So as two people who have extensive experience with this particular region. It's always good when it's news slash Pinellas alert. Yes. Yes. This is from Palm Harbor, Florida, where I attended high school for two years. A 21-year-old woman was charged last week after she was clocked going 107 miles an hour in a 55-mile-an-hour zone. An affidavit from the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office said.

Also, that sheriff, by the way, that they were interviewing looks like Bebop and Rocksteady Lane Kiffin. He does. Oh, my God. So this particular person was doing 107 in a vehicle. that, boy, I'm just going to read the Senate so that you get to experience it as I did. Wait, wait, Altamara Maxima. Even better. The officer pulled over the Kia Forte

after his radar measured the speed of the car at 107 miles an hour. Is that the one Blake Griffin dunked over? Am I misremembering? It's possible. Okay. It's possible. I will have to verify with our research department.

But it's the road that she was on that made me, that gave me, that gave me pause that makes this story extraordinary. That is correct. This woman was on U.S. 19 last Thursday at around 11.52 p.m. U.S. 19, if you don't know, is the artery that goes throughout Pinellas County, which is St. Petersburg, Hillsborough County is Tampa. Pinellas County is St. Petersburg and northern suburbs. This is very far in the northern suburbs of the northern suburbs.

It's this collection of disparate subdivisions, various bogs, old cash and carry buildings, and some like various vape shops. I think that describes the area. Little Caesar's territory is what I'm hearing. It is definitely Little Caesar's territory, all right? The third space in Pinellas County is the jail. That's really like you go, hey, where are we going to hang out? You're like, I don't get arrested so I can have a third place.

That's a community center. of a type? Yeah, and she decided to do the same. Yeah, US-19. Doing this on US-19 is fucking bonkers. Why? Absolutely insane. It is a six-lane at its smallest, a six-lane highway that runs the full length of Pinellas County and is generally like the cloginist artery you've ever seen in terms of traffic flow. It is awful looking. It is where I learned. to drive, coincidentally. I really liked the movie Fury Road. These two sentences are related. It is... It wasn't so much that she was alive.

I was just shocked that they got... That there was room anywhere on this road to get up to that speed. I didn't know. And what I suspect is the not incredibly overwhelming horsepower of the Kia Forte. I mean, it was 11.52 p.m., but let me tell you this, that even if you had room to maneuver on US 19... zero to 60. Yeah, you can look up those stats. I will tell you that even if she was traveling

107 miles per hour, this is not a closed highway. This is 8.8 seconds. It is not a closed highway. This is a highway where there is constant pulling in and pulling out. There's traffic going in and going out. It is the kind of place where there is no mercy if somebody

pulls in front of you doing 35 miles an hour, which somebody's going to be doing at all hours of the night. She did almost double it up. speed limit on most of US 19 is 55 miles an hour. She was clocked at 107. It's important to leave manageable goals on the field. Yeah. She was also not under the influence. No. This is just how she is. Do you want to just read the last sentence in this article out loud? I'm going to read the last sentence in this article out loud. As to why she was driving so fast, the woman admitted

there was no emergency or other justification for the speed but told the officers she was trying to make it to Little Caesars before it closed at 12 a.m. Yeah. That's awesome that that Little Caesars is open until midnight. Mm-hmm. Maybe that's a third space.

Good. It's pretty cool. God. We're without our pastor today, so I'm left to make the spiritual argument on my own. Mm-hmm. although Ryan you're you're

you spent more time in Tampa than Spencer did maybe help maybe help me out here the fact that she did not collide with with anyone that were aware of on this stretch of U.S. 19 going 107 miles an hour with enough time for you know

I assume she wasn't just going 107 within radar range of the deputy do we have to explore the possibility that that there's a touch by an angel scenario at work here that she is under some kind of she is on some kind of errand that if it was not divine in origins was was rendered divine in execution was blessed all the same yeah like where you where you looked back and saw only one set of tight one set of tail lights that's because you were sitting backwards and you probably shouldn't do that.

If I, listen, if she's not dead and no one else is dead, the answer to that question is yes, Holly, yes, she was on a mission from God. That's the only excuse I have for her not exploding in a Kia Forte go, I would assume that if you go 107 miles per hour and a key oforte, you die. Hi, I'm Roma Downey for Little Seas. Like the car, there's a fail safe on certain cars where the car really should just explode and burst into flame if you exceed a certain speed limit. I have one of those. I learned to drive and had my first

car through most of college a 1989 Cherokee Laredo, which is just a steel box on wheels. This is a great car to learn to drive on. Because when it gets above, if it gets a shade above 55

miles an hour, the whole thing starts to like quake not only front to back but side to side and also up and down but not in a fun way. It's like a transformer trying to be born. Yeah, yeah. It's a transformer that, it's like trying to drive a transformer that won't hatch.

And it's a pretty good, it's a pretty good governor to put on a young idiot behind the wheel. I have been trying to do a little research on the target Little Caesars as best as we can tell. First of all, I'm going to go ahead and blame this on the current state of American capitalism, because when you Google Palm Harbor Little Caesars, other than this story, the first result you get is for a little Caesars that has closed that no longer exists and potentially could have saved this intrepid driver time stress and legal trouble if it had stayed open but that's not the world we live in the one i think maybe she was going to has two stars on yelp and i would like to read you i think one of the five one i think one of the five

reviews. There are only two. I think one is just goofs. I'm going to read you the one that I don't think is a goof. This store is awesome. Had my debit card info stolen and they took action. It was greatly appreciated and they were on it. End of review. Had a great experience getting my information stolen there. That's the only, what I consider the only legit five star review of this little Sears There are Notice I will say

I want to go back And tell our forefathers Like what's the future like It'll be like Listen Things are so good as a whole For society That people can leave

Multi-paragraph Negative reviews Of Little Caesar's locations And how pissed All they are I Yeah

This is I believe North of where I went to high school north on the uh i believe off the far northwestern shores of lake tarpin which when i asked hey does anyone ever swim in there somebody was like sure go try it's not called lake trevor yeah oh but uh but yeah that's uh congratulations to this person did not know that a kea forte could go that fast did not know that you wouldn't just explode and also did not know that they would just write up an article being like,

Hey! Hey, this girl's hungry. She's going 107 miles an hour. Like I got to say, I've done some fat kid behavior. Driving 107 miles an hour sober? Because I wanted to go get a hot and ready. And you know, you know if she pulled up there at 1158, they would have been like, nah, we don't have, it's Monday.

Are you fucking kidding me? We don't have anything left. She's like, I'm setting Talidaga lap times. Come get this pizza. Boop. Boop. Yeah, exactly. Like, I'm hearing her driving and hearing of Daytona.

Daytona. She's going 107 miles an hour in this bitch going to get a hot and ready. Well, it's also, it's Pinellas County. you were certainly passing other equally shitty options it's not like you're like there this is the only way go look at the map go look at the map you pass like nine other terrible restaurant options to get there but she said no no yeah what i want is hot and ready because i know it's hot and i know it's ready i should let you know several of the reviews of this particular Little Caesars, if it is the right one,

suggest that it's not hot and ready. Suggest that you show up and they make you wait 20 minutes. You know what's hot and ready? The molten hot metal of engine of the Kia Forte. This lady nearly killed trying to whip it up to the holiday Florida Little Caesars on US 19. Like, what do you do, by the way? When the cops like, what were you doing? you're not high you think it was a lie you think it was a lie she was off to do something much seedier

and she just said uh little caesar's little caesar's run it's so specific it's very specific yeah it seems like such a stupid specific thing that i can't imagine it being a lie because it seems to me the safer bet would be blatant incompetence and stupidity that's like the person who's like yeah i'm willing to turn myself into a ball of molten flame for the glory of a hot and ready. I have to say, this person at this moment was the person on the planet who wanted pizza most. That is the person. Like, if you wanted to know if you've ever been that person, right?

Like, am I the person who's hungriest? Am I the person who wants pizza most on this planet right now? Who is this girl? Congratulations. So glad I don't live there. This podcast is generally positive. I'd say, like, if you say, like, you're 100% positive on something. I think we're like

I can't wait to see where this is going I think we're like 15% positive on the city of Charlotte Is that like like we're not It's not we're not in the negative on Charlotte Charlotte's fine But on the city of Charlotte I don't think I have major feelings

Yeah It's a hard place to have major feelings about Right And I think a lot of people's feelings Are based on the airport And that doesn't seem entirely fair Not at all I mean it's not

The airport is not the city Is all I'm saying unless we're in Atlanta I would like to go ahead and clarify the city of Atlanta has accurately reflected in every single aspect of Hartsfield Jackson International Airport

it's a personality test we would say for the good and the bad if there were any good but there's not I feel as a Carolinian myself that the Duke's Mayo Bowl is the best representation of Charlotte culturally. There we go. Sure. Agreed agreed. Shouts out to Miller

and all the people there. That's a great great representation of Charlotte. As for the rest of it, pretty neutral, man. In fact, I'd say like the Mayo Bowl on those 15 positive points on that side, Mayo Bowl for me is like easily eight to nine points of that. While we're all trying to keep from slandering a city that shelters and employs many of our friends and colleagues, let's just get to the story in hand. Yeah, let's look.

Because there's one thing that Charlotte is not, I think, to any of us. And that is feral. Yeah. Representative Pat It's kind of like saying a Tuesday morning is feral I mean the store, not the day Stay strapped if you're up in the Tuesday morning The count of porcelain figure might jump right out at you

I gotta get a box for Brayland's baby teeth Watch your ass Can I have to fight for Brayland's prize Representative Pat Harrigan of North Carolina Who first of all should not be filming himself in this manner there are at least three, five-head Americans on this show right now. And I think we could all say we would not allow a camera lens to be pointed at our foreheads in this manner. You don't need any more fish-eyeing of this, Pat.

That is a Vista-Vision-ass head. That is a Vigo, the Carpathian head. Who does he? He looks like somebody famous but not super famous, like Patrick Wilson, but not really. Like, he looks like an Aaron Eckhart MPC. He looks like if a pencil eraser came to life. That's what he looks like. Yeah.

Yeah. So with the serious, with like a six head, a nine head. He's got, there's a lot of forehead here, all right? Also, lighting's not great. Looks a little waxy. Ideal presentation, Pat, way to go. Anyway, what did Pat say? He has asked the governor of North Carolina, Josh Stein to, quote,

consider working with the president to allow the National Guard to come into Charlotte. to use the National Guard Wait wait wait Charlotte the town To be and to be And to be fucking clear He is my goddamn representative In Winston Salem

Yeah Why are you talking about Charlotte Wait wait he doesn't even go here And I'm gonna send the link To the 10th congressional district Just so you can see the bullshit That they have done to me here But yeah continue

Oh Charlotte that just flipped Surber how many How many elections did Charlotte flip last way? Because they're scared of Charlotte. That's why they draw the lines like this. There's a lot. So he's scared of this, this large, this large, very white man is scared of Charlotte? Scared of Charlotte.

I have a theory. I have a theory. Did Bank of America kill his dad? I don't know. Is this a Batman? I only have one phobia and is super high ATM fees. My theory is that American cities are like NFL quarterbacks. and for years it was sort of like,

okay, we're going to talk about Chicago and we're going to talk about New York and we're going to talk about San Francisco and we're going to throw a little Portland in there. And at some point... Which was itself insane. And the way we talk about, and I'm doing the heavy air quotes here,

Dangerous Cities was the same as the way we talked about elite quarterbacks. And this is the effort to sort of be like, well, I got to stand out from the crowd. Like, I can't be the eighth person out. here being like, Patrick Mahomes is different. He's a game, like, that's not going to get you any sound bites anywhere. But if you can come out here, I'd like, with your whole throat, be like, you know what, Baker Mayfield's the greatest quarterback in NFL history.

Just standing up to the norm, standing, me standing up as the Norman Rockwell guy in that town council meeting and being like, you haven't known fear of interpersonal violence until you've walked the mean streets of the plaza around Bright House financial. So that's what I think is happening. I think now we're going to start pulling into, like, admitted, just like that B list of American cities that are not the first ones that come to mind when you think of almost anything. And now it's time, okay, yeah, maybe, maybe not be. But now it's time for us to start making the case for like, I don't know, man, Orlando's a cesspool.

It's dangerous. You can't go there. It's too dangerous. You don't know what. You'll survive. I'm scared of Charlotte What are you allergic to truest? You're like

Hey listen Antifa took the statue of Jerry Richardson down That is we've all seen that before it happened That was the flattest ass we've ever seen on a statue They melted into swords They'll hold you up with the sword There wasn't enough for a sword Because the ass of the skeleton

The ass of the statue Does statues of people have skeletons inside of? Do they build a bronze skeleton And they cast the flesh around them Sound off in the comments if you think this is how great art should be made. Mine will. Why would you get a statue?

Why are you getting a statue? Man. Have you seen who gets statues, Ryan? Anyone. You just go ahead. Make one. People would be like, Lo, what were his mighty works?

Scared of Charlotte. What are you a mom and pop credit union? I'm so tired of Charlotte having this woke feminine name. Why isn't it Charles? Who should name a Charles? I'm scared of Charlotte. I'm the Atlanta Falcons trying to make a wild card. Are the Panthers at like 4 and 11 right now, and the Falcons need a win?

30-0 thumping coming. The terrifying climbs of Charlotte, North Carolina. Have you seen what they've done to the NASCAR Hall of Fame? Have you seen what they've done? It's actually great. It is great. It's actually super great. Yeah, that's the rest of my positive feelings about Charlotte coming.

entirely from the NASCAR Hall of Fame, which is sick. Run, boys, they're wielding Honeywell Air filters. I saw it. This is making so much sense. He lost in the 14th Congressional District in 2022.

He got his ass handed to him. So no wonder he's mad at Charlotte. He had to come up here to our gerrymandered ass shit to get a win. They had to fix it for him. You went one of them weird dongly looking districts, huh? It literally looks like a dong.

Like the power of America in 2025 is you can find anyone who says any place is unsafe that they've never been to. And who's been to Charlotte outside of the airport? Nobody who's not a U.S. Airways pilot. That's right, unless you work in banking, right? Like, have you seen these bankers? Oh, my God. I hope we start getting hyper-specific with it and you're like, ooh, that target? No, that aisle and that target

That's the crime aisle Don't go down it Get your puzzles somewhere else You're gonna go to a Queens College women's basketball game Alone? Man They're gonna have

Listen man Do you know how much mulch They're going to be spreading? I'll be like hey listen We've got some pine needles to put down How much do you have? Well, this is mostly suburban area So you're gonna be busy for the next seven months

I know listen You want you want a fucking You want a fucking rampage that'll make Portland look like Teddy Bears tea time. Listen, man, just stick your head stick your head in the window of the nearest bow jangles

and yell somebody's key in a Buick enclave and then watch the fuck out. We have 1 to 2,000 Charlotte Hornets fans here for a game. We need to get this crowd under. Oh, they left. Never mind. It used to be Daddy's Burger Bar,

but now it's Bad Daddy's Burger Bar. to retake it. Make it good daddy's burger bar again. God in heaven. Pat, love yourself. Yeah, find another, like, we need to distract you. We need to find another city. We need to be like... Ooh, $35 ATM fees.

Woo! Yeah, find a new city. You need to be like, hey, man. Actually, the day, I was like, how about Augusta? And then I was like, no, no, no, don't go in there with guns. No, absolutely. No, no, do not. That's different. This is, and by the way,

This is like you never hear anybody coming up here and be like, oh, man, I'm afraid of Augusta because fair. Every single time I walk into any establishment in Augusta, it feels like somebody's doing this like, hi. The fuck you're doing here. All right. I'm just going to turn around. Just going to leave. My brother lived there for many years. Can't confirm.

I feel like you could walk into a church in Augusta and you get menaced. You'd get people looking at you like, what are you doing here? Yeah, there are places like that where you can be, man. these people want to be victim so bad. Not that that's new. The mean streets of Charlotte. I'm just like, could you pick a, could you pick a worse target for this kind of argument than Charlotte?

God damn. Here's your litmus test. I don't think you can credibly, or even like straining credibility claim, like, we need to deploy the National Guard to this city. If you couldn't come up with a CBS procedural based around that, like, I don't think you could get Charlotte. like law and order, but it just goes around to different Greek vests around the country. Rob Ryan is on this.

But I don't think you could get CBS to Greenlight, like, yeah, man, we're going to do NCIS Charlotte. Absolutely. That's the new hot shit. Run. It's the rural hill sheepdog trials. Let me tell you this. The lead local story that is an event story, right? Not like, you know, issue story or weather.

The lead local story right now on W.U.S. UCNC's front page is this. Charlotte PD searching for driver who ran from scene of Deadly West Charlotte Crash. I'm just going to say this from the lofty perch of Atlanta, Georgia. If your police department has time to look for one guy and tell everybody they're looking

for one guy in a hit and run. Do you know, this is like 2.30 p.m. to 2.35 p.m. in Atlanta, Georgia. No, we lost them. Sorry. On to the next. On the next thing. Sorry, highways on fire. Got to go. man i got something on here that's scarier than anything i've ever seen in any of these

in any of these news items do you know what's happening in your own own city on november 18th pat did you know the panthers are participating in the city tree lighting do you want that shit oh my god solve the real problems man they're going to find some way to fuck that up the perversions we've allowed into our cities and communities panthers panthers like christmas tree three dead Panthers fans right now, like, we're actually doing pretty good this year. No, you just lost in the Saints. You just lost the Saints.

Shut the fuck up. I mean, but Bryce Jones looking pretty good. No, you lost the Saints. You don't get to say anything. Rico Donald did that touchdown celebration. Just imagining, like, Francis Dollar Hyde and Charlotte, like, long-time friend of the show, Francis Dollar Hyde and Charlotte,

just like building his layer in the back of a Kirkland home. you're looking for one guy and hit and run yes so are we crazy do you see do you see someone who hit someone in a car

and drove away it just gives me the sense both in Pat and of whichever police department which by the way he also fucked up the

the Charlotte versus Met County PD designations and there we don't have to go into all that it's just one other way that this guy's a dipship but it kind of makes you

you ever did that thing where like you were acting up when you were when you were younger and your mom, your babysitter, your grandma, some sort of guardian authority figure. This is not something that men usually do. But with women, you can typically declare it with an air of like cheerful menace of just leaning over to the kids who are acting out and going, do you guys need something to do? The answer is that his question is always yard work. I do hope Jordan Hudson picks up on this and this is like, well, this is why we had to leave Charlotte was so. And people are like, that's not where you

doesn't matter she's like it just wasn't safe god damn you just predicted the future so where'd you move russia they have they have one of the Patriot Super Bowl race so they might as well yeah russian let's listen Atlanta Falcons Russia's got a ring and you don't Russia's not even in the 12th Russia doesn't even have a difference The fuck are you doing? Jesus Christ! Vladimir Putin found out a way to get one. Brother, he's like 5-5!

He wouldn't make a roster in the Mac! He should not have hoop. He should keep killing people. What are you doing? boy thank you thank you by the way to to one of our readers who's post I cannot find right now shit I was going to read this post but I can't find

it but we did have one reader mentioned the only people who should be scared of Charlotte of the Kabuki Warriors after what they did to the Queen and her Ohio State friend on Raw last night yeah urgent that's another thing if you want to like what commit what like positive feelings are around Charlotte oh yeah there here we go Charlotte which just really really elected the Democratic mayor re-seated all the Democratic incumbents on the city council

and flipping one of the seats held by a Republican. Yeah, Charlotte seems, Charlotte seems fine, actually. To be clear, the only reason Tim Moore represents a tiny portion of the city is because they redrew the maps 10 years ago to completely fuck us over and now they're like threatening to do it again. I don't understand how you could fuck us more over, which is the interesting thing, considering for Scyth County for all our this is now Winston-Salem for Sight County podcast for all of us that are represented by people who also represent Boone fucking Hickory Statesville Lenore you know places we all go to on a regular fucking basis hi from Nashville same shit over here don't worry

this is listen this is the Nashville news thing all over again because like you know this now like grow it up in Nashville it was like someone like literally i remember this happening the local news was like well somebody held up to cap and d's again last night and then um the problem is captain d's i would watch chicago news and it was like like 15 people found dead inside wall eaten by giant rat bozo the cloud strikes again yeah mayor arrested for super fraud we hear from the rat after this yeah you know and like you know i finished a cubs game and watch that and then I've watched the Nashville news. God, I miss Superstations.

And, like, watching the Chicago news was like, yeah, constant thrill, excitement, horror in every turn. And the Nashville news was like, someone's lost this adorable mule. If you'd like to come over and get Penelope.

The water is out at the middle school. Oh, it's back now. Yeah. Laverne residents are complaining about sighting of a nude man. Yeah, like, occasionally some of them would just do that in laverne for some reason you know meanwhile in chicago it was like nude man kidnaps train and i was like chicago sounds awesome

Chicago sounds like a marble comic book in the 80s yeah that's why the bulls won so many championships iron sharp it's iron yeah it was you're like fire kills 38 at bulls game Jordan scores 39. You mentioned me one of those episodes where people wonder why you're laughing. No, they won't. If they watch Chicago Superstation News as a kid, they won't. All right. They'll be like, yeah.

Also wanted to salute everybody because art is hard. Art is difficult. It is hard to write things. It's hard to come up with things. And in case you don't really understand how. hard it is. Apparently, James Bond, now an Amazon property, has a problem story-wise. Bond died in the 2021 film. It's a badass death, too. You've got to, like, poison Bond. You got to shoot him with missiles. It rules, right? He can't just die. James Bond can't. But he doesn't die on screen,

right? No, no, it's pretty clear. I mean, I mean. No, no. We've, we've, we've, We're part of the Netflix age that we did not see that guy die. We did not see his body blow apart and disintegrate into nothing. Sure. There's not a, there's not a step where his, his, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to derail it before this happened. Why is this a problem, allegedly? Well, it's allegedly a problem that writers are struggling with.

What? Yeah. Um, because the new create, the new creative team, which is led by the peeky blinders guy, Stephen Knight, a source has said that writers are tearing their hair out. Bond didn't just vanish off a cliff or fake his death. He was blown to pieces on screen.

Wait, wait, wait. Okay, I have a series of questions that I imagine you also have. I want, Holly and Spencer and I, I think, mostly Holly, but Spencer and I, to some extent, have all worn the editor hat at some point. Server has as well. If somebody came, if you assigned something to something, If you assign, like, you need to write a James Bond script for me.

And somebody said, oh, I've been trying, but James Bond is dead. And I don't know what to do. My first reaction would be, you haven't done shit. You haven't done the work you actually were supposed to do. And you've come up with a bullshit excuse for why you're off deadline. That's right. That's my initial reaction is these guys are like, oh, fuck, first draft was due to the studio in a week. Time to float the gosh, I don't know what to do with James Bond.

The Broccoli ate my homework Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Yes Okay I have I guess a question That is a That is like a fundamental question

To my understanding Of James Bond Yeah And I think at one time or the other Due to some Like romantic choices I've made in the past I have seen

I think all of these movies At one time or another Yeah Mostly not of my choosing The best The best are, and let's just accept this under the framework that Ryan is saying, that these are clearly people who are like, um, we got really into Eldon Ring again. Are they, because this, this argument carries with it.

They're in addition to believing that we don't know it's new James Bond, like it's complicated. They are also asking us implicitly to believe that the audience is supposed to think that this has been the same. whole ass James Bond this entire time. What? Yes. And Daniel Craig is done, right? Since when did they not? Okay.

And not only did they like stylistically reboot it with every new actor and sometimes multiple times within the same actor's tenure. Did we not start casino royale with a middle age looking James Bond getting his double O designation for the first time? yes yes everything you're saying is right and i okay so this is this is not i i thought when i saw this headline that i had been misapprehending this entire time that this is supposed to be the same dude i only think that the only distinction i think you can draw in the daniel craig bond films as opposed to the other actors who have played them is you know when sean connery played

James Bond or Roger Moore did, within their movies, there was not a lot of interlinking between the, like, there was nothing that it was like, well, if you haven't watched Octopussy, you're not going to understand what's going on here. And the Daniel Craig movies, I think, are more of a world-building cohesive, like, there's more of that to it. That said, that doesn't change the fact that you're right. and like this is not a hard problem to solve or not one that people are going to be like

that's not Timothy Lazenby they sound completely different what are we doing why are yeah Ryan I really feel like there's no conclusion but yours here because otherwise we are being asked to pretend that this is

a complicated or be difficult right no these are writers who have been fucking off I think you could have stopped at these are writers even it's also funny because every time Every time that modern Bond gets recast, one of the things that happens is we go through usually the British list.

How are we going to be racist about this? Well, there is, like, black actors get proposed to be like, okay, like Idraselba was, you know, somebody who we talked about for a long time should play James Bond. But like, and at least that's in the conversation that James Bond can be black, which suggests a sort of like fluidity to the character. Like, the only thing that's really essential to James Bond that I think you couldn't change and people would be mad are he's British. His designation is 007 and his name is James Bond. That's it. That's really good. You said he's British and you know immediately where my brain went.

Australian? No, Philly James Bond. Oh, okay. I think into the Bond verse. Like, I think I actually do want that. give me philly james bond teaming up with with m i 6 uh or yeah james bond dickhead yeah like that's that's what i'm seeing that's yeah i like all the things he's as spider ham james bond in philly he's jimmy bond just to be clear oh that's jimmy bonds yeah i ain't calling him james i'm

done too long it's actually a feminine junior it's short for jamesina of all of the things that you're that like death is the thing that they're like oh it's just no believability there you're like james bond would have died of cancer in 1968 it also imply or like his dick fell off like a long time ago they're also asking us to believe that james bond in again who is a not real person in a movie that he died somehow by misfortune in the last one there's a literal to die in the last and was not on purpose dying. There's a literal James Bond film called You Only Live Twice, where you see James Bond die on screen so that he, as it covers,

like, this is already, every permutation, if it's important to you to, like, keep it in universe, right around it and say, like, oh, but the escape hatch at the last minute opened up. Like, this is the laziest bullshit possible. Yeah, I kind of love it, though, because now we have to keep everything else consistent. This is great. I love it.

I do think this would be a fun chance for them to, if they were, for example, going to steer into, like, doing a lady bond, which they have fainted at in a couple of the later movies with, you know, like, getting the 007 designation or whatever is, like, removed from him and placed on his coworkers and then, no, no, it's back. But, like, you know, if they were going to make Lashana Lynch the next bond, right, after her appearance in. the previous one wouldn't it be cool if they not cool but hilarious if they you know T 1,000 styled it and the first the cold open shot of this is out of the explosion and wreckage of the previous one just strides like naked like naked lynch right like in the in the same way as like you know he walked out of the ocean in casino royale here is Lasson here is Lashana walking out of the flames, you know, in like a bando bra or something, just like, oh, and just kind of cracking her neck, like, ooh, that was toasty in there.

And then just getting on with it. What's also a bummer? I feel like in the 90s and into the early aughts, the easy answer to this in any movie was cloning, the power of clone. All you have to do is be like. Yeah, Christoph Waltz is in this movie. You can't tell me he didn't clone people. Yeah, come on.

Listen, James Bond, canonically, leaves a lot of DNA all over the world. okay you have it you can recreate and if you need to be like but something went wrong and now he looks like this and he's a different oh no like come on man it's fine people who hey listen speaking of people who leave uh a lot of DNA evidence around and who are and who are different people depending on the context and who are married and or not depending on who's asking and what day it is let's get did this Brian Kelly buyout drama? Did I hit everything? That was the flawless, flawless. He's also been very badly burned. He has, and also has done stunts in Louisiana. Brian Kelly certainly pulled one.

Ryan, you've had time, I believe, to look at the brief. Yep. Briefly. Yeah. The complaint. The complaint. counselor uh short version um brian kelly got fired went through several meetings did he ryan did get fired did get fired no did he go to the meetings all right

brian kelly in this in is suing lSU he alleges that he was told he was told by lsu your services are no longer needed here you are terminated but he says on multiple occasions lsu said you are terminated without cause. So we recognize that we have a contractual buyout obligation to you. After that, LSU and that obligation is, let's just say, around $50 million. I don't have the exact number, but that's a good sticking point. After that, LSU had the way many schools do, conversations with Brian Kelly about how can we lower that number but give you something else in a way that is mutually beneficial to us.

first offer was $25 million and eliminate his duty to mitigate his contract, the thing that James Franklin has, which says he has to go get a job somewhere else. We already saw this happen this cycle. Sam Pittman did this deal with Arkansas. It took a lower buyout so that he didn't have to, like, so that he could just like have a cold beer and not have to go update his resume. Also, that offer included getting paid quicker, getting paid in lump sum payments faster than the original buyout would have contemplated. Because LSU needs him off the, need this done with so they can go get John Summerall or whoever. Offer was raised to $30 million, same terms, no mitigation, lump sum payments also rejected.

At some point within like the last, I don't know, three business days of us recording this or so, LSU came back to Brian Kelly's, really Brian Kelly's reps. And he's got like a law firm-ass law firm on this, by the way. And basically said, hey, Scott Woodward, who if you missed this twist, shortly after firing Brian Kelly, was forced out of his athletic director post, shortly after the governor during a snap press conference explained that Scott Woodward was an idiot piece of shit and that LSU would never. Brian, you need a snap press conference like an impromptu press conference, right? I don't. I mean about snap benefits. LSU, according to Brian Kelly and his lawyers, has gone back and said, actually, Scott Woodward

couldn't fire you and didn't fire you and you weren't terminated. And if we do terminate you, spoiler, they're going to, it will be with cause and we will not owe you money. Has that cause been identified by anybody publicly? No, it has not. As of this recording, LSU has not responded to this. And the best guess I have for what's going on here is that LSU was going through the normal process of we're going to fire you, we don't want to pay you the full buyout, we're going to find a middle ground that everybody's happy with. Thirty million dollars was apparently not the answer for Brian Kelly at the time. My theory is Governor Landry came in, in that press conference

makes a big deal of I don't want to pay this man this money. I think this is stupid and I hate it. I think Governor Landry, after pushing out Scott Woodward, is putting pressure on LSU to say, no, get out of this however you can. I don't know if they have cause that's legit or not. I don't know. Like, I don't have an opinion on like the legal standing of this case. I do think it's very funny, though, that it's almost certainly happening because the governor is throwing a hissy fit and is injecting himself into what is normally a very behind closed doors. Like, this has happened with lots of coaches over the years where you figure out this buyout behind closed doors. There's no real public discussion of it. And then at the end, you're like,

we've reached a mutual agreement. We wish everybody well. That's not what's happening here. No, and it's just to catch you up, if you're not fluent in the movements on the ground here, depending on who you ask, because he went to Southern, depending on who you believe, and because it's LSU, the possibilities are just about as innumerate as they could possibly be. the governor may or may not have the best interests of the LSU athletic department in front of mind when making these deals because he ain't go here. I don't know where this goes next is the tricky part, right? You know what was, you know what sparked me? What tripped me up here was Brian Kelly's attorney's being like, we're giving LSU a deadline.

Mm-hmm. Because that normally, this happened last week and this is normally where I would be like, oh, fuck you dummy. do you not know like if you if Hugh Fries had done this I would be like Hugh how badly do you want them to check your phones because you know that's what's next right but when there's and maybe this is giving them maybe this is giving them way too much credit but when Brian Kelly's lawyers tell LSU we're giving you a deadline I'm like oh that state and that athletic department and that university are in such flagrant disarray at the same time that he might actually be able to pull something here. There's a uniquely Louisiana instead of, and not uniquely, because I feel like this could very easily have happened at Florida if different people were involved,

at least on the coaching side. But because of the parties involved, it almost feels like there's a better than even chance of everything being true at the same time, which is to say BK did give them a number of reasons to fire him for cause, but they won't be able

to get their shit together in time to actually do it. They might. Well, I would, oh, okay, thank you. Trenching, trenchant counterargument. I was going somewhere with that, but you know. I could tell from the way you said it. I think the most immediate thing this sets out to me. Don't roll your eyes at me.

Is that a car, Brian Kelly laid down an unexpected card here, which is to say, he is basically publicly calling LSU out and saying, I don't think you have a cause case. I think you either have something that's bullshit or stale or threadbare. And he is more or less daring LSU to like

show their hands. Which is something you would think like I hate to go right back to this but if Hugh Fries did this I was like oh Hugh you're dumb as hell. Brian Kelly does this and I'm like wait a second. But Spencer

Kianas mas dipshit here. Spencer, LSU is usually not afraid to do this. That's what I'm trying. That's where I was going. So every time LSU has had some sort of nasty breakup or non-nasty breakup, I want to rewind the clock all the way back to when Nick Saban left. When Nick Saban left, all of a sudden, for no reason we get a bunch of these.

All right, there's a slight reason. You get a bunch of this like immediate ejection of every sort of nasty story about Nick Saban ever, right? oh he bit secretaries and Nick would come into the offices and just pee on the wall just to show dominance Joe Biden's dog yeah like I had to bring my kid into the office and Nick made him lift weights for seven hours and he got rammed on my alices like all these like stories about what a dick nick was just came pouring out when um in a more direct story when Scott Woodward was still athletic director and they had to what happened with Ed

like is a firing but it was also it was also like basically like hey they salted the earth they certainly salted the earth they did but they also like they did this weird thing where the sequence of events was a bunch of gossip comes out about Ed right just

which to this date as far as I'm aware has not been fully separated into what we know from truth and untruth I think it is fairly and knowing all the parties involved are super litigious, Spencer, hypothetically, if I said Brian Kelly was running around Baton Rouge doing everything they were accusing Ed Ogeron

of doing, but for real, would that be a fair gloss to put on the situation? Right. That would be, I think, a replica of what would happen. A fair characterization. A fair characterization. I think that's a fair characterization. Right. But here's, again, every time, this is the thing about this LSU case that is so fascinating to me, is that every time organizationally, I think that is the move they've done something to undermine themselves and take even their cheap tricks away right take those cards away which they will do even when the guy in the driver's seat might not have a vested interest in acting against them because the guy yes the guy who would who would

start to salt the earth like this like last time bunch of shit comes out about ed and finish that thought it all comes out about ed then they bring ed in the office and they're like hey man we'll give you what 14 million to just walk out of here right now and ed goes and ed is like if you've I know Godfrey's told this story on SplitZan. I don't know if he's told it on Phantom Island, to which Ed famously, at least in Ed's telling, goes like, all right. Yeah. He's like, oh, yeah, Scott Woodward, that's my buddy,

because he just gave me a massive check to walk. So, but also, like, the counterpoint to this is Les Miles gets fired, eventually takes the Kansas job, and only then is after, like, Les Miles loses the Kansas job, only that is all the bad shit at LSU revealed then. So there is some sense, at least historically, of like, LSU can withhold or publish more or less what they want about how, how bad they want to make you seem as a person when the relationship goes set. And they have no, they have no real, this is an unfortunate pun, they have no real governor on this for themselves. Sure.

Which is, the other funny thing is, the other thing, too, and they're returning more and more to, like, whether or not Jeff Landry might be a double agent, this is the kind of. thing that you just say you know this is the kind of thing it throws it like you know like we run into this a lot here on the show oh the SEC has it in for this team the SEC has it in for that team no it's Louisiana so you have to take into account the possibility that no the governor might really have it in for the flagship university so the guy who would have done this is gone he has his own grudges right Scott woodward the AD the guy who would have been this did they and by the way did they have him under NDA because that firing happened awful quick that card is wild sister it's out

there who is he talking to right now Scott Woodward call us who is he talking to right now that's out there that's just floating additionally the athletic director the acting athletic director but not interim but not permanent Verge Osbury

who go go go look up his involvement go look up his involvement in previous LSU athletic cases and title nine issues go look that up That guy who still worked there. Still works there and maybe their athletic dexter or not. I don't know.

No one knows really at this point. That guy, he would be the one who might engage in these kind of tactics, but he's not exactly on like solid ground here at all. And then let's just parse in the governor. Basically, any coach walking into that as a situation has to look past every layer of management above them and go, okay, cool, you're eating the last guy for lunch. That's what we're doing here. And also, let's talk about working here.

This is the bad boss kit from SNL, right? This is the like, so we're the fifth most competitive in-flight mag. Really good benefits. Hope you enjoy working here. And there's like people dead on the floor behind them. So here's the potential misstep, I think, Ellis, you made. If indeed they did sort of, if indeed they're sort of leading with like, hey, we're going to dangle cause as a reason to fire you to get you back to the negotiating table.

And within that, because they're LSU, sort of make it implicit like, hey, we have dirt we can put out on you. How do you assassinate, how do you assassinate Brian Kelly's character in 2025? Like the other coaches we're talking about at LSU and other places, like largely had positive personal reputations in the national spotlight. I'm not talking about locally. I'm not talking about the media. Like, there are plenty of coaches where there's little bits of gossip. been rumor and fact that like it's circulated but in terms of like what does you know what do people think about you casually Brian Kelly already has a bunch of shit on his permanent record

that's quite bad and nothing that has been rumored around LSU even approaches that so to some extent I really think Brian Kelly or his reps might be like why would you think this that shit didn't keep me from getting the LSU job. Why do you think what you're about to say is going to tarnish my reputation further? You're telling me the BTK killer didn't bring his trash cans in on time. Correct. Oh, now I'm out on. I'm done. Yeah. He sassed my son. He was rude to my son in church. Are you kidding me? There's so many little tentacles to this. Right. It's that or you know, take that same scenario. Yeah. Does everybody's willingness, because of preponderous evidence, does everybody's willingness to believe the worst of Brian Kelly, regardless of whether or not these particular tales are true, does that do the job for them?

It's much more interesting if it's your way. It doesn't necessarily create pressure, though, in a negotiating sense. I agree with what you're saying. Here's the other wrinkle I'll throw into it. Well, but also, who do they have to convince in that scenario? I think they only have to convince Brian Kelly and his attorneys. Now, here's the tricky bit. I had the same reaction you did, Holly, where it's like, hmm, these are some attorney-ass

attorneys who are making these, like, this isn't a press statement. this is a complaint and like do you have to meet any burden of evidence to file a complaint no but still it's a thing that like reputable attorneys are not going to do lightly they will put some thought into it but the idea of well if brian kelly's attorneys did this it must have something to it relies on one fundamental premise and that is that brian kelly has been entirely forthcoming as a client yep ding bingo that ding ding ding and i'm not getting out on that branch i I am not getting out on that branch. I think it's entirely possible, and I don't know what it would be, that there is something that LSU has that either Brian Kelly doesn't know about or has it conveyed to his representation.

Or there is the full story on shit we already know about, like, hey, I'm divorced. Whoops, no, I'm not. Ha-ha. Yes. But the simplest answer here is that the simplest answer here is both very boring

and very exciting, because you have two stubborn sides on side one you have a governor who has publicly said i hate that we're paying this man basically any money at all on the other you have a coach who just said in a legal document 30 million dollars was too low 30 million i'm worth more than that so now you're this is all a ploy to figure out what number can you find between 30 and 50 that will make the governor happy does that number even exist there's also one more i mean I mean, there's a million more, but I want to throw in one more interfering factor,

potential interfering factor. This is not usually a thing that comes up when we talk about coaches of his generation because we very insanely are like, man, this guy's 55. He's going to catch on any minute. Brian Kelly is 64. Spencer, you have already said that you, very much doubt from people you've talked to that he will be coaching anywhere at least in the college game ever again is he going to be extra sticky oh sorry god you said it's too late

just go just go is he going to hew with moist is he going to hue with unprecedented tenacity and right i'm just going to do his his vigor say vigor Is he going, is he going to cleave vigorously to his, God damn it? I can't, every time I look at the screen, one of you's making another horrible face. Not for any of the usual reasons. Is, does he in fact want to be. Turgeon. Done, done, done with the college game.

Is he pink with promise at the thought of, is he pink with promise at the thought of, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, are we in a too mess Lamb of God situation. Wow. All right, I'll get us. I'll drag us back on track here a little bit. I'm spinning his wheels in this dish. Is he extra super special motivated to get a bag from this one because he wants to actually hang it up? So normally I would say that doesn't matter because he has this duty to mitigate. And in a worst case scenario, LSU could say, fine, we'll pay you what we owe you on the schedule we normally owe you. But you have this duty to mitigate. and we will hold your feet to the fucking fire. However, do you know what has been destroyed that wasn't that good to begin with?

Like, James Franklin is out here being rumored for good jobs, power for jobs. Some of them are the ACC, but yeah. With respect, if you're just looking at, like, what did they do as coaches? What does their resume look like? Brian Kelly's done way the fuck more than James Franklin has. but I think this whole I mean not just this whole episode but so much of this episode

has put such a stink on like mitigate what what what what what 10 million dollar job are you gonna go get you think there's a chance he's going into arbitration with them being like I'm unhirable I think I think to the extent that was already true

it's becoming he's suing his own school I don't yeah I think that I think he is making him in whether this is intentional or not i think he is making himself a toxic asset that other schools won't want to touch which is a real fucked up clever way of getting out of your mitigation obligation this is the most this is the only relatable thing he's ever done yeah i i think when you're engaged in a lawsuit of this magnitude and already of this like of this what is the word

I'm looking for nastiness grimy grimy it's grimy it's grimy yeah like this is grimy and it will

when you had terrible relationships with everybody at this school and everybody in this town and everybody in this football

program from the start and you're like throw the books open I'm ready something's weird yes

it's got a mutualism of grimyness that is bad for everyone that is certainly bad for LSU I will tell

I will tell you you will not find a university that suddenly becomes more of an advocate for player safety than one that is facing the full brunt of a potential paid buyout. Especially not one that already hired Brian Kelly on purpose. Oh, listen.

Listen, this is the tack. You take it because suddenly the university goes, well, we were assured that he would be careful with players. Things are just done as certain what Mr. Carson asked. There were certain incidents in his past that would point towards a lax attitude towards safety. But we were assured. that those were in the past, and yet there was this undiagnosed injury that Iron Kelly oversaw. It's OSHA with EAUX in Louisiana. It's a totally different bureau.

Yeah. It sounds the same. You have to get, you have to get it in paper from them because you're like, oh, totally different spelling. See you. Yeah. Suddenly, LSU will become very, very concerned. The other fun part about this is that usually this happens, it either happens quickly and you're done, or it's like Brett Biel and must sued Arkansas while he was, I think. think an assistant with the Patriots because they were in a fight because they were in a fight over whether he was meeting his mitigation obligations. But that happened after Arkansas had already hired the next coach. LSU hasn't hired. All of this is happening while the rest of the coaching world, including one of the major agencies that represents, like if you're, how, oh my God, it's, it's, I feel for LSU only to this extent. You should have never thought. thought it was going to be easy. You should have never thought you were going to get out of

this easy because Brian Kelly is, to my knowledge as a head coach, never been fired, right? Yeah, I believe that is. Not a rough. And yet has been a real salty dick everywhere he's been the whole time, a real pain in the ass. Why did you think you would be the first ones to fire him and it would go smoothly? Yeah. Great question, coach. Great question. yeah, that's, that's, that's going to happen and it's going to get worse. It's also, it's also, by the time, by the time we record again, it will be, it will be infinitely more stupid. I love that we can count on that. The only other thing I will add here, a complaint is one side of a story.

Doesn't mean it's wrong, but it is just one side of the story. I am eagerly hoping that we get an answer from LSU that is like, ah, ah, that's all. Podcast business What's that business? Podcast business. It's a business. We've got stuff to plug. Give us money so we make this stuff and then you're like that.

Dive. Let's start with Channel 6. That's right, the Channel 6 newsletter that is Holly and I's two things a week that we produce for you, the consuming consumer public. Right now we are in the middle of the C. and so we are hard at work making sure that you are kept abreast of all of the important comings and goings in college football with the top whatever that we produce after every single weekend of college football what do we rank whatever we want how do we rank

it at length given now justice humid moist when you said moist I lost it sticky yeah sticky yes we also do we also do yeah we also do yeah we just yeah we Yes. Targid. I can't say that without an accent. Targid. Yes. We do surprise pieces during the week.

Love the erotica. You got a fight breakdown of the massive brawl at the Odessa Midlands Bass Pro Shops. You get little things like that all the time. We do those for paid. We do those for free. You should subscribe Channel 6 Productions. We also hang out on Saturday mornings before games. It is a joy to do.

We will take your questions about pretty much anything. We'll talk about football. That part is true. Yeah, but we will answer your questions about just about anything. That is, channel dash 6.ghost.io, available in any of our bios, $10 a month for two things a week. We're in year four of keeping that solemn promise. Five, five, God damn. Year five of keeping that solemn promise.

Fuck you, term limits. What week is, Spencer? We're going into week 12. He did it. He did it. I'm back on track. I'm going to do the home field read now because it's a little different than the normal

home field reads. Dude, do you know how much blood we're going to need? We're going to need. Not all. All right. We don't need all the blood. That would be irresponsible. We need your blood.

We need your blood. We need some of your blood. From your blood. And when I say we, more specifically, I mean the Big Ten needs your blood. Because they got the biggest blood cells individually. Yes. Yes.

It helps keep the warm and winter. Big Ten blood is larger on a molecular. level. And it makes their brains more smart. Yeah, they're like dinner plate sized, yeah. All right, here's the actual ad read. Every two seconds, someone in our country needs blood. When you donate through, Abbott and the big tens, we give blood drive competition. You're not just helping your school compete to win $1 million. That's $1 million, not one million bloods for student or community health. Blood is a unit of measure. You're saving lives. Plus, you will score a limited edition

Homefield T-shirt. So show up, donate, and turn school pride into purpose. Go to big10.org slash Abbott-A-B-B-O-T-T to find a donation location and get in on the action. Now, listen, this is not a Big Ten podcast.

We are not Big Ten alums. Would you like to guess right now as of recording what the standings are of this blood competition? It is a blood competition. Let's just call it what it is blood competition. Michigan is winning and it's not close.

Incorrect. Oh, shit. Indiana is on board. Oh, I'm sorry. It's Indiana, isn't it? Michigan is in third place, but they are almost 50% behind the leader and the team

that's closest, that's in second. I will say that the leader's Indiana. Indiana's not. Okay, when you think of Big Ten schools with hearty blood, blood that can take a beaten, Wisconsin or Ohio State? Wisconsin is correct, Holly. Huh?

Wisconsin. Wisconsin is number one. Okay, you know how blood cells are called platelets? They have plates. Wisconsin, 10,650 donors right now. Nebraska just behind with 10,504 donors. At the bottom. For the corn god.

Washington, USC Rutgers. Failing in blood. But your body's always making more of it. So you can always catch up. There's always catching up to do. And look, I did look this up. you don't have to be a Big Ten fan or even in a Big Ten state to donate this blood and get a home field t-shirt.

I can just mail blood to the Big Ten. You do have to go through a proper donation facility to be clear. I don't think you can. Well, you know what? Let's try this way. Yeah, like a post office. I got it. Listener.

Let's get 10 listeners to donate blood through this program, the official way. Find out if you get a T-shirt. Holly, you mail a bag of blood to the Big Ten with a, with identity. identifying which home field t-shirt you want yes and let's see what happens science demands testing my blood demands testing too all blood demands testing um yeah phantom island is the show i'm doing steven godfrey it's not about blood speaking of the deadly humor speaking speaking of big ten enthusiasts speaking of iker uh it's a show sometimes about college football sometimes about other things this week I am talking to Roger Sherman about changes in Canadian football rules and the stress it is bringing.

There's a wrinkle I didn't even realize with it is that the CFL is changing all its rules. We get into it on the show. But Canadian colleges doesn't seem like they were consulted. So things like, hey, your field has to be a different size was not a conversation. So I want you just to imagine if the NFL one day was like, I don't know, the field's 105 yards long. and every college stadium had to be like, you're doing what? The fuck, we have a 100-year-old facility. We can't just fucking do that, you assholes.

Anyway, you can listen to that episode out now. You can subscribe at phantomisland. Show if you want to hear everything that we do. This Friday, I have a very fun episode coming out with Stephen, where we talked about the subject of what is a good job. What do coaches actually think about when they're trying to decide what is a good job and not a good job? And how is that different?

I have to call him that because that's what my, That's what Hank calls him. And so I've just gotten used to it. Are you serious? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure we're talking about this on the show.

The two people I know who call him Stephen are his wife and my son. That's it. Do you call him Stephen? Me for some reason, but I don't know him Stephen Godfrey. I call him Stephen, but only when he's on deadline. Okay. All right. Well, congratulations.

It is a situational weapon for me. The three of you are the Stephen TriForce and nobody else. That's cool. so that's at phantom i call i call him i call him stephen as well wow wait no you don't yeah i call i call him step you're fucking with me one to one yeah i would call him step that's gross that's weird when you do it yeah how quickly would he squash me if i called him steve that's not a steve that's not a steve oh god no he's not a steve i don't think he'd love it yeah uh we have a live show coming up

this friday as well in aphens uh as part of the home field can't miss kickoff door presented by Madela, you can see all overfield's various social sites and get tickets to that. There are still some left, not a lot. The subject we will be tackling at that show is, was SEC Speed real? And I will tell you both that I have encountered some young people who don't even remember that SEC Speed was a conceit. Oh, my God. They're not even aware that this was a thing we used to talk about.

But it was, and it was very important. And is this just a thin excuse for me to revisit Florida fucking. dominating Ohio State in the 2006 BCS championship game? Yes, it is. Yes, it is. I will live in the past. You can't make me catch up to you. What about Steve Z?

Steve? Let's try it. Oh, Steve Z. Hey, listen, that sounds like an immense amount of fun. Stevie Flicks. You know what? I'm going to ask the question I usually ask at this point in the show, but need to be reminded of.

week to week. I want rock music. I need a band. Can somebody recommend one? No, but I'm a band called Killer Ants, which is, which is... The street has no spelling that we're on with Spencer right now is so great. A band is called Killer Ants with a Zira Zed, if you're from the UK, Australia, New Zealand, anywhere else in the world. We've got a show this Sunday at the Den and Winston-Salem. I, you know, we didn't book this show someone else didn't ask us to play it and i was like oh cool i wonder what they sound like so this is going to be a hardcore show we don't play hardcore music but if you're into that kind of fucking thing this could be a chance for you to see like a music a type of music

you really really enjoy hardcore music uh and also seeing killer answer kind of not on that uh realm of the genre uh plain so um yeah we're at the den and then next saturday that's the sunday November 16th next Saturday, November 22nd. We are at the 27 Club in Asheville with Super Heat and our buddies Mortimer from here in Winston-Salem. That's going to be a fun show. I'll be there all weekend. If you're going to the Ben Queller Show at Ulogy the night before, hit me up. Let's talk about how we're Quellerheads and talk a little bit about BK.

Come say, hey, I'll be the guy that's wearing like a Steely Dan shirt. I've heard these North Carolina cities are too dangerous, though. Too fairs. Oh, my God. Yes, if you could brave the artistic streets of Asheville, North Carolina. How do I protect my wallet from purchasing too many IPAs? Yeah, I want to warn you, there may be plenty of people on the street who can tell you 374 facts about J.R.R. Tolkien that you didn't know before.

Oh, no. Be very afraid. I was going to say, hey, call the National Guard out. There's a show, the hardcore show. They'll let you stand right next to the drummer. They'll let you beat the drummer up during the show. I love that on hardcore shows Sometimes you look up

You're like That dude standing next to the drummer The fuck is he doing up there That's not the drummer He's beating his ass Yeah The drummer loves it Yeah

Yeah Just come to see my band Listen to Hand in the Dirt A podcast The Guardian podcast Football Sometimes a lifestyle podcast If you missed the episode

Two weeks ago Holly's on there So you can get that one Those are From listening to the show Those are always Extra Fun episodes When she pops on for her

I can tell you something we're deep in the show We're an hour and 90 minutes deep in the show I don't listen to a lot of podcasts I don't like most podcasts I love Hand of the Dirt I love Hand of the Dirt so much Hand of the Dirt is If you're not into if you didn't grow up

In a recreational arguing family It might give you hypertension But for those of us who were born in that darkness And molded by it I have I have worked very hard to make Hand in the Dirt feel like every Christmas is celebration in the Mohar household.

And I think I've done a pretty good job of it. Felder doesn't drink anymore during the show, which is a failing on my part. Yeah, I was going to say, what's going on there? Yeah, well, because of my schedule, we now have to record that show almost always in the morning. I will say also, coming up, an interesting time to listen or call in for advice, we're doing our Thanksgiving episode this week. So we'll record that a day from when you're listening to this.

so a week from when you're listening to this there'll be an episode out there where we kind of like give our top tips and everything on you know what it means what what thanksgiving means to us but also like how we pull it off because we are all got a butterball hotline that shit yeah 100% okay let's go to episode one and let's see I really like this isn't a bit Holly Holly's first Holly is first thank God oh fuck I've been living in a nightmare for four years thinking it was someone I'm happy to bring you I'm happy to bring you I'm happy to bring you forward back out of that darkness thank you very much this is when we still did descriptions on our shows we don't do that anymore so everyone's a surprise yeah this is um the all three people on that show have stronger opinions about things than i've ever had in my life it's fantastic and that i believe concludes podcast business let's look at the schedule for the this week, which is more robust than last week. I feel like there's a lot of shit going on. So we'll be very, very quick about it.

By the time you have heard this, two pretty important Mac games will have happened, Western Michigan and Ohio and Toledo versus Miami, Ohio. A lot of, a lot of bucking and fighting at the top of the Mac, just noting that right there. Friday, Clemson at Louisville. Well, not, not what, not what we thought it was going to be, but, um,

leaving out Buffalo, Central Michigan, by the way. I am believing out Buffalo, Central Michigan. How dare I? Excuse me, that's the number, excuse me. There are one, two, three, four, five teams currently tied for second place in the Mac, who are all of whom are one game behind Ohio, and two of those teams are Buffalo and Central Michigan who are playing each other. Yeah, good luck to, best of luck to Cat Daddy Pete Lambo.

Owens a cat. We're not weird. Not being weird. uh friday clemson at louisville uh hey uh server how you feeling about this this matchup against the louisville cardinals lay it on the cross yeah you can do it yeah speak on it lay it at the foot of it yeah i don't know it felt like after the florida state game we finally figured everything out that we'd been trying to figure out all year long but then i remembered we were playing florida state so um i mean listen here's the good news for me a clemson fan bad news for y'all the non climpson fan

This is just the kind of game y'all would fuck around and win. Yep, exactly. Louisville's coming off of a week where they firmly stepped on their own dick. With all due respect, Cal's quarterback is really fucking, he might be, he might be really fucking good. But Cal really had no business coming into the pizza box and beating y'all. Don't let them do it twice. Yeah, don't do it.

Don't let them do it twice. I don't feel like we're the better team, obviously, for obvious reasons here. This is the ACC, baby. Of all the teams in the ACC that that has never stopped from winning a game, Clemson has maybe stopped the least. Dabo has procured some sort of favor in the universe as well, where every point of this season, when things have been toppling down, it sort of felt like nothing bad really happens to this guy.

I feel like he's just going to get this done. Like, even when we were, even when we were at our lowest point against Syracuse, and I kind of could tell that, like, with all due respect to Q's and when their quarterback went down, I think they became a different team. But like, I was like, oh, this is, this is not a good, this is not a good, this is like an okay team that's beating us pretty handily right now. It still felt like I was like, yeah, but Davos kind of like get really lucky and somehow find a way to string together

some games at the end of the season. It sort of feels like the Knowles game is the beginning of him stringing together some wins. Now now save this audio. Probably pretty wrong about this. But this does feel like a team that's going to finish 7 and 5 and beat South Carolina and win their bowl game. I go 8 and 5

and there's going to be some justification or like pounded of the chest in the New Spring Athletic Center about like how how you know, things, you know, we got off to it but they bought in and like that's my worry i've been told by some people that there's some heads are going to roll no matter what so i hope that happens and i think that's a that's a net positive for the program but it just feels like we are going to fuck around and win this game and

and and it's you know firman should be a no problem we'll see but and then south carolina is as decidedly bad as we are so i don't know for for anyone about to watch this game on friday night between clemson and louisville let me introduce miller moss by saying would you like Kade Klobnik without the wheels. Would you like to watch Kade Klobnik, but without the ability to run? That's Miller Moss, a baffling a baffling quarterback at times.

By the way, Louisville has lost two games this season, both in OT. Both in O.T. They have a beef with the universe. This is an arm talent game, though. If you want to see some guys that don't really have to rely on any of the fundamentals or just, they just got

arms that can do shit. She wants to sling this shit. Yeah, like Kate, you want to see Kade Klobnik go across his body to the left side of the field like from the far hash on a rope like you could have seen it four times last week which is fucking maddening for a three and five team to have a quarterback that can do that but like yeah both of these guys can do those things um i like hammer the over the Louisville lane florida state um but like i think it's going to be a fun game to watch um could go either way it doesn't feel like it's pretty stupid but also makes a ton of sense that this is a kind of a pick-um game um yeah this is uh that is friday we are on to

saturday saturday um we have arizona at censey um this is where i shout out action cookbook and say hey listen man you only got one loss let's keep this dream alive scott satterfield get that resume up because the raiders job is definitely coming open another another opportunity to just put that name out there for Scott Satterfield. Also, pretty nice little game. Here we have the, is this going to be on the exam bowl, Michigan at Northwestern? I would say that this is also the tasteful amounts of adderol. All right, just enough to get to studying.

Only government approved amphetamine salts in this blood. Exactly. Only prescription, only given to me directly under the supervision of a licensed medical professional. uh the in which by the way michigan and northwestern michigan could lose that game i keep looking for the game where i'm like oh man it's going to be a bad one for jerome more um this this one could be a bad one for sharon more if they fuck around and let northwestern stick into the fourth quarter um game of the day notre dame at pit it's where game day is going to be um of all the ways to listen hey pit i hope you're comfortable with being perceived right now you usually love that

you better be you better be Notre Dame firing on all offensive cylinders exactly what Pat and Arduzzi wants I bet if you set this game up perfectly for Pat Narduzzi the thing he would want to be like I want him coming in here scoring 48 points 49 points 50 come on in here we'll fuck you up like that's very much like Pat Narduzzi's thing is to be like but not against us maybe against us fortunately fortunately Pitt can respond in kind I actually think this is going to be a good game. The only thing I'm worried about is this. Pitt might actually be good. They might actually

be pretty good at football. They're going to be furious that you even said that. Right. Right. You understand my concern here. I'm very, very sorry. I did not mean to curse the super weapon. No, no, no. We went through this in after dark. We can't jinx shit.

We didn't go there. Also, we invented this. But they do not, they do not appreciate having gazes cast upon them. And we have done a little bit of that. And we are sorry about that, sort of. That's too bad, Pitt. Where'd you get all that ass?

Because I'm looking at it. Gross. Gross. Yeah. The reaction gifts that I'm putting forward right now all indicate lasciviousness. That's what I'm doing, Pitt. The ones I'm putting in the comments, they're just all like, ooh, ooh. Yeah, exactly.

NC State horny wolf level vibes. The South Florida at Navy, this is a, we're getting a lot of, like, good top of the shelf, top of the conference matchups this week, South Florida at Navy. This is the winner, by the way, you'll pretty much like you'll have control of the American at this point. Right now, Navy is the top. The standing South Florida is right there. Do you like running the ball? Friend, friend, do I have a game for you?

Do you believe that passing is a curse upon modern. American football. South Florida at Navy is going to be sick for you then, then actually a pretty good game. That's going to be me versus me. That's going to be me on the college football video game. Just running the ball nonstop to just

anger everyone. Just running the shit out of the ball. I like it. Every time I post about running the ball in any football video game, they're like, only losers do that. Like everybody, if you play competitive, you get lost. I'm like, yeah, but if I play my friends, they fucking hate it. Yeah, absolutely. Undefeated against friends running.

the ball. Anybody who criticizes you for that misunderstands why you are playing the game in the first place. That's right. That's right. I'm here to establish it. Hey, watch your ass.

Kenny Dillingham, West Virginia at Arizona State. Remember, watch your ass, West Virginia. They have found, they have found a quarterback. I God, did they have a quarterback? They do.

They do. And oh my God, he has just got like, he's got the best name. Scotty Fox Jr. Scotty Fox Jr. Scottie Fox Jr. Scottie Fox Jr. He's good.

And that's really all... I watched them last week. I didn't see him beat Houston, but I watched him beat Colorado. And they handled their fucking business. Like, yeah. I was watching this game like, I said this coach was going to get fired

at the beginning of the season. What the fuck? Rich Rod's got it figured out. He's... I think the version that I settled on with the smoking musket boys on Saturday was he is some, form of back.

That's about as optimistic as we're willing to get right now. I'm trying to keep from feeling things right now because I got enough going on with my primary, but like, I also am having trouble ignoring what I'm seeing in front of me on the field, which is very cool.

I do like that Rich Rott is one of these coaches where if it's not all working and the team hasn't congealed, it's the word shit you've ever seen in your life. Yeah. And then once it snaps together, you're like, Ah, death machine. All right. One, they have, I mean, we don't have to get into the stats on a West Virginia team right now.

But they have some hitters on defense. What they choose to do with those hitters is, you know, some of the. They got a linebacker who can score touchdowns. That's neat. But, yeah. Twice. That's the next Maryland quarterback. Yeah.

But, hey, after cycling through 11 or 12, sorry, that took me a minute. After cycling through 11 or 12 different arms, yeah, it's. It appears Rod has his guy. I'm very interested to see where this goes. NC State at Miami. I'm just putting that out there. Speaking, sorry. NC State, I'm sorry for what I said a few minutes ago about Clemson being the premier ACCC ankle-biting outfit.

I didn't see you there. Please, un-litch your teeth from my ankle. Just saying a series of small strokes today. I'm going to highlight every Miami game from this point out and be like, Eh, could lose that one. of small strokes. This does feel like a wolf pack special. Like, we're gonna, we're gonna,

we're gonna just fuck your entire shit up. Doren has only one way to get to eight and four. And that's by winning the rest of these games. So. Yeah, you speak the old tongue. You know the ancient lore server. Eight and four on the way. On a mountain of skulls on the throne of pain.

I drank a glass of. milk out of a skull. That is correct. The Dave Doran Way. That's a Tom O'Brien joke for all you old heads. Brain milk. Do we call you because your heads are old? Head heads are old.

God damn. We make things at NC State, unlike those tea sippers at UNC. We make brain milk. That's right. It's available at cookout. Brain milk. It's just R.C. Cola. It's just R.C. Cola with a little bit of promethazine in it.

um Oklahoma and Alabama I just want to put that on there because that could get real weird Oklahoma kind of a weird team kind of one of these like three phase teams that just has to kind of like bite at you along the edges steal things make weird place like they're like John Mateer might not throw for a touchdown and they could still pile up a bunch of points on like special teams errors that you make and they might get a turnover right I'm sort of thinking of what they did to Tennessee and how I'm kind of looking at Alabama going buddy. That could be you.

Brent was in Death Valley last weekend to watch his son Tyler play. He was on the sidelines. It leads me only to believe that he has recharged his powers in the Oculus from which the Oculus, which he built with his own mind while at Clemson. And I would be extremely concerned if I was Alabama in this game. I think he's coming back with all the mojo. Dabo's done, got him all,

juiced up with all the new spring talk. he saw his boy play special teamer scored a touchdown in that or a two-point conversion in that game it's one of two things either they come out and handle their business against Alabama or he got all that suck on him and they're going to get their shit kicked in all that suck on him from the new spring juice I'd say sorry but that implies that I'm not going to do it again

yeah you will I'm going to do it again Utah at Baylor Just pointing that out also Because I don't think Baylor's winning that game It seems like real bad For Dave Miranda Watch this pace

You go oh man There's a lot of people In this hiring pool already Baylor's like I see blue water Diving right in Texas at Georgia Texas at Georgia

Oh boy This could be another game Right This is it for them There's no coming Is there any coming back from this I don't think so No

And this is the kind of game where I'm going to laugh a lot because we could get the scenario of five-star multi-million dollar signy, blue chip, all-celebrity team. That's a very specific scream in the soundboard. Arch Manning could be outflanked, outplayed, and outshined by, woo, Tiger George's finest. Gunner stopped. That's right. We spent 33 cents. a quarterback. A.P. Archmanning.

Got him from the, got him from the discount Lur section of Bass Pro Shop. Yeah, we, listen, we climbed to that dollar tree and we plucked him. And lo, he became a billion dollar quarterback. That's, that's what could happen here. That's what I fear is going to happen here because I'm worried about Georgia just being gritty and out, toughen everybody down the way and giving up 14 point leads in the first quarter and then storming back because they're gritty, they're underdogs.

They got a bunch of fucking four and five stars on the line. You don't need to be cautious. Yeah. So that's kind of what I could see happening here and playing into the narrative I don't want to tell, which is Texas ain't physical. They ain't tough. The dogs put them in the dirt.

And you're like, they're just a better team. They're probably a better team right now. Also, they play Mississippi State better. The Great Equalizer. There was a moment in the fourth quarter when Mississippi State scored that touchdown. I was like, oh, hold on, here they come. No, but Georgia had way less. I serve, I don't think you might not have been there on After Dark.

I have laid down my sword with the Georgia ain't shit narrative for this season. It's because of how they played Mississippi State. Yep. Yeah, no, they did what few else could do. and that's not sweat it. Yeah, George's, listen,

George is not, less than most. Let's put it. Yeah, they sweated it for a minute. Yeah. George is not losing any variation of the how many third graders

would it take to kick your ass thing. Kirby's like, I'm kicking all of them. I'm kicking every single one of them little bitches in the team. They were going to do it. That was it. Mississippi State's like, yeah,

Mississippi State's like 500 toddlers. And he's like, get me the bat. I'm ready to go. Yeah, that was the most impressive victory Georgia's had. this year and uh until this one where they could really put their stamp on it uh t see you at b yu that's a 1015 kick i believe eastern time so we'll probably be watching that on after dark um this

could this feels real crucial for b yu which means that the person you don't want to face most in this world is sunny dikes that's right sunny dykes here to take advantage make your day worse he's very good at that thank you uh and then another top of the table another top of the table another top of the team another uh matchup between boise state and san diego state the mountain west san dieo state coming off uh hammering on the island against our beloved high hawaii warriors and boise state right up there at the top of the mountain west so this is a good mount west game on late too so primo weekend lots of shit to look forward to yeah it feels like a real college football weekend that there are one two three four games kicking off after 10 p.m. yeah finally finally we

have turned yeah i want to fall asleep with some network's d team whispering in my ear yeah i'm sorry that's probably not a fair way to put it they're uh they're they're they're late 19 yeah we all we do all know thanks to after dark how you like to fall asleep that is true with a gun crying gross