Shutdown Fullcast - Buddy Ryan Spank Bank Mother Lode

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

!!! LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT !!! Homefield Apparel's Can't Miss Kickoff Tour Presented by Modelo is rumbling to Myrtle Beach, just in time for Halloween, and all audible crewmates on the good ship Shutdown Fullcast will be on hand (nautical term) to celebrate. Join us on Wednesday, October 29, at 7:00 PM, and wear your most inexplicable Halloween costume. Get details and buy your tickets hereLike all good parties, this show has a theme: It's time to submit your HALLOWEEN DISASTERS to [e-mail] as well as this online submission form.Meanwhile, in the episode itself: When is a water jug not a water jug? And what is the most dangerous sandwich to consume after drinking to the point your own blood could be legally classified as a controlled substance?Fired Coaches Draft update, wherein Spencer shares a surprisingly deep collection of Trent Dilfacts ™Today in Convincing Statements From Bill Belichick"Was that coaching or was that RICO?"Motivational archaeology with Rex RyanSports news from BusytownLooking ahead to the Week 8 college football schedule (welcome back, Every Weeknight Football)ACC Friday Night Games: You're Not Better Than ThisThis episode produced by Michael Ray SurberShutdown Fullcast theme arranged and produced by Chris WatkinsDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it's notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason's critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band Killer Antz and his new show PodcasterinoNow through December 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to Trans Ohio. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase exclusive PTKU Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-branded loot

All right, let's first do the thing that, man, we just don't do on the internet anymore, but I feel like it was all the rage when I started in this business. In this industry. Oh, God, you've got God for poisoning. Quick, lead him. Credit to intrepid reporter Matt Brown of the extra, Matt Brown, the extra points Matt Brown, not Brown, the athletic Matt Brown, both excellent Matt's Brown, but to be clear which Matt Brown we're talking about.

And they are both athletic, but lower. Yes, right. Not Matt Brown, the MMA fighter. Not Matt Brow, the MMA fighter. Wait, is that real? Yeah, that's real. Listen, Matt Brown of extra points, Matt Brown has two daughters. I would not bet against him in an octagon situation.

Let's see, Matt Brown disambiguation page. And he is Brazilian. I was going to, yeah, right? He's got like, you know, there's the jiu jitzu element there. Yeah. But if it were an emotional octagon, especially, like the man has tween daughters. There are 17 Matt Browns on Wikipedia, as well as a additionally two Matt Browns with an E at the end.

And we know the two best ones. Yeah, what are the odds? Look at that. Dang. So speaking of Pimentos. Okay, so this came about because... You! Well, yeah, I did...

You're the reason for the season. I did get it kicked off. The Texas A&M police account posted... I think this was during or maybe just before the start of the... I think this was early, at least, in the Florida A&M game, which is playing and called. station. The following. Public intoxication. Aggie Park. Contacted subject eating a sandwich with a water jug of whiskey. I'll point out, it's not a water jug anymore at that point. No, that's a whiskey

jug. Yeah. That's a philosophical debate. Yeah, it's a little bit of a ship of Theseus, I suppose. BAC was 0.337, which I believe, hold on, I'm going to check something real quick here. you're medically a corpse at that point like you're not dead but you could be embalmed this would this would lead all bat if this were a batting average it would be the number one in major league baseball that bac is so high it appears on decibel charts like are you technically a pickle you're you're basically or a conserve you're basically like that's finished drunk yeah yeah yeah yeah you've been soaking released to EMS and then hashtag beat the hell out of Florida which they did win so who's to say um

I was focused though on the sandwich details like I found it unsatisfying that if we're going to get the details of a water jug of whiskey and we know what this person's BAC was that it was just a sandwich so I said without doing any work that I wanted sandwich details the Matt Brown we've been talking about followed up and gave the following information. Breaking news, this is this was on October 13th on Monday afternoon. The Texas A&M Police Department confirms the extra point that the sandwich in question was, quote, a pimento cheese sandwich. First of all, thank you to the Texas A&M descriptor force in your law enforcement social media team

because this is, if you recall, the team that brought us the joy of section 336 last year. We are not ourselves unfamiliar with Texas law enforcement on this podcast. You may recall the pole monkey. Paul assassin. Thank you. Thank you. The Polish assassin v. Pet Monkey incident of I think the year before that.

The emotion that I felt initially was relief, Ryan. That was pometa cheese. Yeah, because as sandwiches go, I think this is up there with like, you know, creamy peanut butter as the least choking. hazard as sandwiches go and the easiest to eject if necessary i had not thought about that like it is it is almost instantly i guess depending on the bread it's it's almost instantly milled down into a nutritious pace so like easy come easy go you're basically you can extrude it back up like a plato spaghetti maker but like i was i guess what i was imagining is uh imagine being that drunk

and trying to take down like a meatball sub well what it made me realize because initially i was way too hopeful. I was like, I hope this was half a rotisserie chicken, bones still in it, on a piece of, on a loaf of garlic bread, like the most sandwichous sandwich you've ever seen. So you want to explore not just the definitions of water jug, but also you want to, you want to hold space for exploration of the space of sandwich. Well, if Subway is a place for sandwich artist, I want this to be like the absolute Pablo Picasso. The guarantee. of sandwiches was what I was hoping. You want this hammered aggie taking down a

three foot tall Dagwood cartoon sandwich. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. But I, once it said Pomeo, I realized the error of my thought. I think drunken sandwich must be a bell curve. And in the middle, when you're just pretty drunk, that's when you have the space

to be like, hey man, anything can be a sandwich. Go get a whole tub of ice cream. We're going to put it on yeah whatever so once once you pass the mendoza line your sandwich standard is like orange goo yes yes i think it's what was close by because this is the other thing that's troubling me i don't think of texas and specifically college station as pomenici's territory now i'm the floridian here so i might not know shit about it but i also did a little i did a little journalism

and myself, Matt Brown, I went to Google and I said, best pimento cheese in college station. And the Yelp reviews I got, it's basically like, yeah, there's a chicken salad chick here. That's it. There's, it's not like there's a place and I can find in college stations like, oh, yeah, here's where you get the sandwich. All right, Holly's rubbing her hands. Tag me the fuck in, coach. Holly, go.

Okay. So the three biggest, you want to think of them as the majors of junior leagues in America, which you can view as on a heat. map like the this is the grinder at the republican national convention of heat maps as far as pomeo cheese creation and consumption uh the big three junior leagues of america an organization that started in new york which we just made better down here are atlanta is one of them obviously shout out to my ladies in 108 houston and dallas are the other two ryan would you like to know where college station is geographically situated i am i am so glad you brought this

it is it is not the it is not the midpoint between fort worth and houston yeah but it's pretty close so what would the center of that triangle be on a map if we were actually oh if you made that also is it memphis oh again what did they built there a pyramid channeling the energy see see okay i bet it's yeah we you know what weirdly enough I think we're going to be a little bit... Mississippi, maybe? Yeah, it's going to be more like Jackson. We're going to be a little bit further, further south.

You could make, I would say... Maybe it's New Orleans. It's a little north of Jackson. Okay. Dude, the closest, Pine Bluff and Oxford both have strong cases here. Okay. Just, just eyeballing this. Birmingham is kind of like if you were building a pyramid again,

you know, if you were building some sort of like junior league arc of the covenant situation you would want to place your staff of raw somewhere around birmingham maybe that's what vulcan is for holding the jewel to focus it but anyway in terms of like it is not what you might typically consider as being in the pomeno cheese belt because we don't think of texas as being in the deep south despite its geography like florida it is its own discreet nation state but in in terms of where you might find good pimento cheese yeah ask ask any swing a dead cat in either one of those cities and you will hit a caterer with their own secret very specific recipes so i don't find this to be out of i'll also put this brian a general way of understanding

texas visa v the south food wise is this if it is a southern food it is texas compatible if it is a texan food it is not necessarily southern compatible so texas like the borg can absorb any of those right like if you and i think this is true because like if one time we went to salt lick barbecue and they just threw out a bunch of banana pudding and fried chicken that they just had. It wasn't standard. And that's because at any given point, the Texan kitchen will be like, no, great idea. We have taken it.

Here, here's some fried chicken. It can happen. It's not mainstream, right? It's not main line, main cannon Texan, but they can do it. So it's compatible. All right. So now in my head, someone was walking around with their walking around Pometa cheese sandwich, saw water jug whiskey person.

and thought to themselves, yish, we got to get something in this person and gave it to them like they were an NPC in a game that was like, here, to help you. It's dangerous to go alone. Take Pimethees. I would like to as, I'm going to tap in here

because Holly's the expert on Junior League, I am the expert on booze and on being that far out on the limb. That's not necessarily not the same thing. thing these views are my own and do not represent the junior league of Atlanta please don't kick me out that's the first disclaimer you've ever read on this point right you don't know these women no I get it I get it these views these views are my own and not those of alcohol but I will say that they're very

accurate okay so he's at a point three three seven yeah I'm just gonna give you a little bit of context point zero is the legal limit for being drunk in a DUI situation right they might cite it's yes right they might cite it in a public in talks report to if that's relevant but like 0.08 that that's what got like like a celebrity arrest that is right on the nose is paris hilton paris hilton had a 0.08 when she got a d ui when mel gibson was on the moon drunk okay and then recorded saying a bunch of extremely anti-semitic and racist shit all right you think like oh man that's got to be way over a 0.08 nope nope just point 1 2 he was just at a 0.1 2 okay when ripped torn no did Texas Aggie, Texas A&M Aggie By the way. Broke into a bank. When Rip Torn

broke into a bank Because he thought it was his house. Because he thought he was there. With a gun in a bathrobe, okay? And the cops found him and somehow did not shoot him.

I'm sure they were like, holy shit, that's Rip Torn. Yeah. RipTorne was found inside a bank he thought was his house. That was a 0.203. Wow. That was a point two.

I have in a bar in Tampa once that had the breathalyzer on the wall, which you know it's a good bar when they have the breathalyzer on the wall. Challenge the high score. I can't vouch for the accuracy of the machine or whether it was calibrated. But I blew a 0.27 in one of those once.

I would describe my state as furniture. I was not even astronaut grade because an astronaut could make decisions. I was just a brick of flesh. You were astronaut outside of ship. Yeah. I was. I was, that episode of the Magic School Bus,

where Arnold takes his helmet off, right, and he freezes, that was me. I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that. You were, in 2001, you were, you were, you were the baby. I was at full star baby. I was full star child. Caveman seeing obelisk. Oh, no, the caveman solved problems in that way, right? He figured out how to use the cool.

I was entirely unable to do anything at point 27, okay? point 337 sir we are on a voyage or ma'am or ma'am we don't know actually and now this did make me go okay I know that they don't keep records on this but you can't get this for instance the Guinness Book of World Records does not want you to laud a BXC they do not want you to attempt it it's filed under the things in the Guinness Book of World Records that are deemed as observations not records right drunk so it says drunkest person um this is described i'm sure it has things like most beer is drunk in x but not necessarily most poisoned body highest blood alcohol level right without dying right is is the parenthetical they don't write right right it's a loss for

science is all i was thinking about because you want to don't you want to track this through time as you know how does how does the era in which beer was drunk quite literally to the exclusion of all other liquids by everyone and not just, you know, people we on this podcast went to college with. How does that era compare to, say, the entire state of South Carolina, the year Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka came out? Sure. Where do sailors fit into this? Yeah, the British Navy in 1832. Oh, South Carolina, the year Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka came out definitely has them beat.

Yeah. Yeah. They had thin blood. Wisconsin, 1930. That's what I want to see. Oh, the brandy caves. The brandy caves. I can't say that in a normal voice.

I'm incapable of saying that in a normal voice. So I went and looked this up and I'm going to read you the answer. The highest blood alcohol content ever recorded in a human being who lived to tale to tell, in other words, who did not fucking die was 1.374. equivalent to 13.74 grams of pure alcohol per liter of blood. I bet you could can yourself at that point and be shelf stable. Like, do you, do you have an ABV at that point? Yeah, or as a person?

Right, right. Like a vampire takes a bite of you and gets a buzz. You're basically your old school Utah beer at that time. Right. Have you ever been around one of those people who, when they eat garlic, it comes out through their pores. Sure. And you can smell it in their skin.

Like, Ryan, this is probably best directed at you as our resident Italian. It's okay. It's not racist. But could you get, is it possible to get so drunk that you can get a contact drunk from being around a person's atmosphere? Yeah. Once they are like, I am become Mikhailo Bolstra. Yeah, I suspect so.

Either that or if they like brush against a surface, have they sterilized it? like oh no i have a cut i wipe my cut on you and now you have you have become the healer you can you can clean all wounds yeah like when gonzow uses rizzo the rat and muppet christmas carrol as like squeege yeah i mean you would be too proof at this point sure okay yeah yeah you would be too you might be kombucha that's a great nickname yeah you're basically walking around as kombucha you could let you could walk around with a handkerchief and like drag it across your forehead and be like anybody need a sterilizing wipe sir i don't know why i made that sultry going to read the next part without comment the 40-year-old polish man much of a podcast

oh yeah oh come on his name was not disclosed was found unconscious by the side of the road in the village of uh tarnovsky woli in southeast poland in july by 2013. July. Police. What better time to fall asleep outside. I was sure this is going to be in the winter. Yeah, I've got to say, that increases the likelihood of survival, the July part.

Imagine what he's sweated out. Or does that make it, does that make it a higher degree of difficulty? Antifreeze, yeah. What did you have to, what volume did you have to drink for after evaporation for your blood to settle to that level? I mean, I think the evaporation might help because you're extruding all liquid that isn't alcohol. Oh, right. You're basically, your body's a distillery at that point, right? Not only that, if you encounter open flame, does a gentle aura of flame surround you as the alcohol evaporates from you?

Thus turning you into the kind of. Are you a pilot light? Are you a pilot light? A beacon. It is an interesting question. You know, we have assigned your class as healer based on your sterilizing properties, but you also have fire type

you're a fire type you could possibly respect as a fire sorcerer there are many builds you could do with this level of drunkenness you could even continue

on the healer path because what do you use to cauterize wounds yeah you could use that fire creative to either heal or hurt you really are a versatile you have a versatile kit

yeah this sounds like a great idea is the general Takeaway I'm getting here. We know you got hit points for days. I mean, my God. You can take a fucking punch. Like, when you're out there in southeastern Poland, which, yeah, man, that's where this happened.

I believe you. I don't even know which parts of Poland there are, but you just told me the SEC of Poland. Going quadrupleaggy on them. When you're in the Louisiana of Poland. One other detail from this arrest, which is police at the scene reportedly could not believe the blood test reading. but they were confirmed on his arrival at hospital who are you gonna be although the man escaped with his life

doctors say the huge dose of alcohol what do you mean escaped I'm gonna give him escape here yeah I mean like he didn't like flee the hospital he fleed the drunkenness he was trying to flee I fled death's door he got

he got to a fiddling contest with whiskey devil and beat his ass no less That man got into a fist fight with alcohol Hulk and won. Alcohol. Alcohol. There it is. Yeah.

Alcohol. But they say that, though he did survive, the huge dose of alcohol has caused serious and permanent damage to his digestive, nervous, and cardiovascular systems. Yeah, I bet. I bet. I bet your, listen, I bet your nerves, you could punch that man. And five minutes later, he'd be like, oh, oh, like, think. Listen, I don't want to make light of another person.

person's health concerns, but I feel like that's his body saying, we will never let you forget this. We will never let you forget what you did to us. Folks, you know what's a lot more pleasant than drinking 7,000 beers? The birds on Jason's porch. That would be drinking like one or two beers. Sure. How's that sound?

Where can I do such a thing? Who couldn't go for one or two beers right now? Yeah. Well, let me tell you about an upcoming event at which you can drink one or two beers that would be Myrtle Beach Wednesday October 29th the home field can't miss kickoff tour brought to you by Modelo shut down full cast live in Myrtle Beach on merdle beach with 25% off at the home field pop-up shop additionally a free Modelo because it's brought to you by Modelo so you can drink one beer one beer is great one beer is good for you

one beer is awesome you might want to have two or three additionally those are probably fine, right? They will be wonderful. There will be no water jugs of whiskey. You do not need to bring that much because we will not. We will not give you that much whiskey. We will give you one Modello. If you come to the Home Field Presents, Shutdown, Fulcast Live in Myrtle Beach,

I can't miss kickoff tour brought to you by Modello on October 29th. You only need one beer to beat Florida. You don't need water jug of water. Let's do it all that. Come on. If you show up, listen, if any. of you show up dressed as Benetio del Toro in one battle after another, I will give you my drink ticket for a second Medello.

This offer is limited to one person. Because this is a Halloween week, and we had said a couple weeks ago that we'd like to do some sort of a Halloween costume contest at our Myrtle Beach show on October 29th, ticket link and closed in the notes within and on social medias. Priyodairboats.com has the ticket lienswereboats.com. Preownedairboats.com. It's all over. we have talked to Homefield

and there will be a $500 costume contest gift card for the winner who wears the best costume are we and like be creative with this all right like I'm dabbo Swinney like that's it's oh go you're wearing an orange sweatshirt it doesn't have to be football

it does not have to be a football costume there's a really good chance the best one won't that said if you have a really If you have a really if you want to be zombie dabbo okay we might we might listen right all your hair forward and put on Clemson gear but show up pantsless wearing a little rubber ducky float and your

dabbo swimmy, that's going to go a long way. If you come up as a horse version of dabbo and your dabbo winnie, that's fine too. I'll be clear. I'm probably not voting for any dabbo costumes just because we've given you all the best ideas. Davy doesn't believe in Halloween anyway. That would be completely unbelievable as a costume. Holly,

we call it trunk or treat. We call it Holy we call it Holy We call it Holy We call it Holy Harvest Week. We You know, there are many crossovers. So, folks, if you're in that sort of boat, you can come on down to our Myrtle Beach, a trunk or treat show. Additionally, if you're on our Patreon, we have a Patreon. DM the full cast Patreon if you're participating

and you will get a home field coozy and an extra drink ticket. Two beers, like we said. Hey, perfect number. Perfect number. So go to the Event Bright link. All right. That is in our notes. And as noted, it is on every website all over the internet.

Get your ticket. and DM the full cast Patreon account to let us know you're coming and we will make sure you get your coozy an additional bonus drink ticket. I did not say DM some other account on some other website. Jason, how do we DM the Patreon account?

You go to the Patreon account and you click DM. I don't know. I'll go to that website and you'll see it. Can't miss it. That is the website to go to. Excitement. We're going to be there.

As noted, we're doing Halloween disasters will include that link as well we have about 50 candidates there to be read but keep them coming folks we're going to do our stories of those spooky celebrations these should be funny there's some funny ones in there yeah at least or at least capable of being read as funny yeah yeah yeah as always focus on you know tell a good story and like the entire rest of the world for your sadness make sure it's something that sounds like we would read let's put it that there we go yeah you know us yeah you know a little too well those two links will be in the notes see we snuck podcast business up on you see how we did that see how we did that only now

will we start to show idiots He's going to He gone, he gone. Damn, you blew out your mic. One of the worst ones. You saw that. You're like, boy. I don't know.

the mic i blame the mic straight off the tea into the woods sent that shit into the road spectators ducking not even going to take a molligan baby no i blame i blame modern technology woke up the dog driver how indignant she is phil's going to do it again get jam baby scared money don't make money she's so mad spencer that seemed good loud i think you probably got loud oh good well we're welcome to now we are welcome then who's we that's right uh i am spencer hall

joined us always by ryan nanny jason kirk holly anderson and michael server on the ones and twos this is the internet's only college football podcast and we have we're talking about scared money don't make money you know who's making money this week that's right that's right

coaches getting fired coaches who are totally getting fired and us because we have a little coach firing pool going on and I got that makes it sound like we're gambling we are we are gambling we have not invested any money in this but if you would like an update on the coach's hot seat draft from a few weeks ago server's number one pick of UCLA's Deshawn Foster continues to accrue value he has seven points total at this point for having the first overall pick remember the scoring system the older the pick the more points they're worth.

But Ryan is in number one because he had number two, Brent Pry and number four, Sam Pittman for a total of 10 points, followed by Spencer and Holly tied. Spencer had Mike Gundy, the third coach off the board. Holly had the grab bag of every non-drafted coach, which means she gets credit for both James Franklin and Trent Bray, and then I finally arrived on the board with Trent Dilford. So those are the standings.

There are plenty of points still on the board. This is a piping hot coaching character. Can I ask a funny question? With a lot of action on the way. Yes. I, I, does Holly get credit for literally every other coach? Or is it just the first four that aren't on the book that we made up?

I think it's very funny if Holly wins by virtue of there are 10 coaches that weren't on the board. I think which I definitely, much like the, much like the other famous game called the game to the only winning move is not to play, of course. So Holly would win by having not. um attended the full cast was this it is not wise to be here right so like holly did the wise thing and was not here therefore she should be rewarded for getting like i agree the 10 rando

picks i agree i agree i mean holly way to way to get james franklin nobody nobody saw that coming but you owner of the field sure his shit did what a poll by holly i would talk more about James Franklin, but premium content. James Franklin talk is for big ballers only. That's for, we put a Patreon emergency episode up like 10 minutes after the firing.

It's 40 minutes. It's good stuff. That's what all Franklin content is. You folks, you get just Dilfer talk. That's what you get here on the free feed. By the way, that is $4, $4 a month to support the work of the full cast and that kind of stuff if you like. now if unless unless I wanted to do this guys we're not going to have a business meeting about this I'm just going to state everyone else is a four dollar membership but I'm making a call it's four million dollars if you're James Franklin if James Franklin tries to listen to that that will cost him four million dollars we're doing that we're doing the Michael Bloomberg episode yes he will be the only member of the James Franklin if you pay us four million dollars a month you may listen to this what's what's Trent Delfare have to pay

I think if either of you pays Trent, if you pay $100,000 you can come on the show We will do the roast of Trent Dilfer James That is like That money is falling out your ass on accident

You're going to need to pay up more Just because you have more I'm going to have to learn so many Trent Dilfer things I'm going to have to learn so many Trent Dilfer facts if he does that Oh, we'll just make sure Give me five Trent Dilfer facts go

He's a shitty tipper Because I remember that living in the NFL Look at this Talk about you got to go do research. You did ask. Yeah, all of the caddies at his golf club are like, oh, God, he's like the worst tipper. He's absolutely terrible. That's a great one. That's half an hour right there.

I know that he was big into the elite eight. He was a big quarterback, like, guru there and helped organize that, including mentoring. I think he was close with a young James Winston. There's not much material there. Yeah, he went to Fresno State. Yes, he does have a Super Bowl ring in spite of being Trent Dilfer. Thank you, Jamal Lewis and the Ravens defense. I'd say we're up to two.

Yeah, we're up to two. Balled. Two roastable things. Shined. Shiny head. Extremely bald. And I'll get into the first one. I mean, his entire UAB tenure is like eight things, like, you know, openly recruiting for Louisville while on a podcast with UAB's AD, your boss at UAB.

Talking about how shit their volleyball team was. Talking about like in multiple pressers in a row saying like, it's not like we're Alabama. like the one school that you cannot ever say UAB is like spiritually morally inferior to It was almost anybody else I would think that that was him trying to do some kind of botched work situation But no Is that dumb

Like Talking all that shit You know And then going 9 and 20 And like even that is like They should fire you a whole season before they did um and like like this was this might have been the hire that everyone was most right about until pelichick came along right like because i didn't see a single person who's like

oh great hire you know um like the argument was oh dion hired a famous guy let's hire a famous guy he knows all these high famous guy he knows all these well we're like adjusting to the uab level okay yeah that's fair he knows all these uh all these high school recruits who are now in the NFL you know like it's it's not like it's not like some kid who went to an elite eight camp elite 11 camp when uh dilfer was there is going to like leave college and go back to be recruited all over again um can i give you one more good trent dilfer fact from his playing days in the NFL a dill fact yes uh at one point when he played for the bucks trit dilfer got thrown out of a game for throwing a punch do you know who he tried to punch

John Randall Fight his defense in line with John Randall Oh no That's a Why would you ever put this man in charge of any decision making of any sort You can't make choices ever again man We got to put you in a home I'm trying to fight John Randall hire me

Wow Fearless Oh this was because John Randall did his research on Dilfer So I want you to know That if we rose Dilfer And he had to know No you can go find this It's on TikTok

It's Randall talking about that play Randall was one of those guys Who would go home And read the entire media guide Just to go up against guys And be like To find shit to talk about Yeah I bet you

I bet you're a real Bet you're a real bitch back there In your hometown of Collingwood, Missouri Like he was He was one of those guys Who would be like Oh yeah you got three sisters Huh?

The other guy would be like Ah And then it was you know You'll never be as famous as your high school classmate. Andrew Shoe. Like, Randall did that shit. And apparently what he did with Dilfer was pretty benign, right?

He was like, oh yeah, you got a credit score 720. Dilper was like, how'd you know that about me? Look at me. And tried to punch a guy who was noted for being one of the biggest psychopaths in the NFL at the time. For anyone who does not remember John Randall, of course,

290 pounds, six-time All-Pro, the Hall of Famer in every level. Yeah, that's what we're talking about here. Trent Dilfer, not a scrapper. Trent Dilfer, guy who was on the Ravens. Trent Dilfer, as a player, looked about the same as Trent Dilfer as a coach physically. Yeah, you could say he's still in the best shape of his life because. Yeah.

Which is to say he looked like a golfer. It still looks like, yeah. He's a golf guy. Yeah. Had the same goatee for 20 years. Dogs just heard about Trent Dilfer's decision-making. Yeah. And they were like,

Here's a shitty tipper. Roe, rog, rog. Which should have been an incredible tipper because he has a Super Bowl ring because he was on a roster with like a million players who were better than him. He should understand the value of appreciating the labor of others. Also, this is not a slam on Alabama. This is a cost of living comment. It's Birmingham.

You don't have to work that hard to be a good tipper. throw a 20 at the bartender jesus you know and all the list of players who could get thrown out of a game backup tackle yes mm-hmm third string safety sure do you know what happened after he won the super bowl i would love to know that actually they they didn't resign him they let him go they let him walk yeah the only super bowl the only super bowl winning quarterback who got released the next season. Which means that theoretically, a direct snap to the running back had higher value than the resigning trip.

100%. Yeah. Love that. Yeah, his career is amazing because it's just like six years of mid. Super Bowl. Six years of mid. That pension hits the same, though. I bet he does wake up at night, though, as a dumb guy.

And he's like, I, John Randall know that stuff about me. My infosec is, I've been compromised by John Randall. compromise with John Randall. I've got to button that down. Hold on. Let me log into my email password. John Randall is hacking your systems. I would have gone like 12 and 19 at UAP, if not for that John Randall.

John Randall pulling up to your house, Trent Dilfer is like getting his paper off of the doorstep. And he just drives up with the car and it's like... Doing the fingers at the eye thing. Yeah, he's just looking at him. He's like, yeah, you've been a loyal subscriber for seven years, Trent. He's like, what? Trent's walking out of Costco, mindlessly hands his receipt to the check. Oh, my God, it's John Randall.

He knows everything I bought. But all the information he is sharing about you is publicly available, right? Like, oh, I heard you're the coach at UAB now. What? Who told you? I heard your cell phone is blank, blank, blank, blank, 6374. I heard you tried to punch me. What?

How did you know? Oh, my God. John Randall knows John Randall. It's not quite the same vein, but you know who's so good at this right now is Christian Wilkins. Yeah, like trash talk. Have you, am I talking about the wrong person? No, no, no, it's Christian.

No, the oddball. Yeah, the one who walks out and like, I'm not afraid to you. There's a gentle sense of whimsy to his that I find just kind of even more terrifying, I guess. He's the only guy. He's the only guy I've ever seen who pulled the three-year-old's reverse card on a guy who's like, yeah, man, I'm about to put you down. Christopher Walker goes, no, you won't. That's one of those games where he's miced up

and that guy starts chasing it after the play and you hear Christian going like, no, no, no. Like he's trying to talk a toddler from touching a stove. Yeah, it's innovative work in the field of trash talking and I really appreciate it. Maybe Trent Delford doesn't have object permanence. That would explain a lot of everything that's happened with him. I have that theory about a lot of people in this industry.

Like doesn't know he works for UAB when he's recruiting for Louisville's volleyball program. Yeah. I heard there a great program. It would also explain, oh, there's a safety there. I shouldn't have thrown that. That's also a very Trit Dilfer experience. If you remember his play with the bucks.

I believe, by the way, Dilfer also has something in common with Lane Kiffin, both Fresno State quarterbacks. Because remember, Lane Kiffin was Fresno State quarterback. Yeah. One of them still has a job, though. So they don't have that in common anymore.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. There's no awe here. No, you'll be fine. He could go back and coach in some private Christian high school in Nashville where he can shove players around and they'll be like, that's what Jesus wants. Because that's what he did before this, by the way. That's why it's called Battleground. Let's check in on ULM football, which, of course, hired the guy. This year's a little down. Brother, they're three and three. Dude, are you fucking, are you a little right now? That's awesome. Yeah. And one of their losses was Alabama. The other was Northwestern, which the coach they got fired can only be spoken about on our Patreon. It was the loss to Coastal.

And the other was Coastal, where we are going because that is the greatest school in the world. So that's three totally forgivable losses. They're three and O. One with after after a five and seven season last year, which is also perfect. You know, and here's a sentence that would have been comical, you know, just a few years ago, but since they restarted the program and actually started supporting it again, Bryant Vincent plus UAB's resources, and you thought you could do better? Yeah.

And for anyone who wonders, why we're bringing up ULM, this is because the UAB interim that they could have hired instead of Trent Dilford, they let him go to ULM, and he has gone by ULM standards. Awesome. Dude, they're not number 134, right? 100%. ULM has the coolest goal in the world, which is don't be number 134. Don't be last, right?

He also beat them last year. You'll unplayed UAB last year He won 326 Trent Delfer sucks Yeah And the computers right now ULM is 10 ahead of UAB While paying like way less money

With like way less embarrassment Um Yeah Making cool t-shirts Trent Dilfer can't make cool t-shirts If he does He has to... Trent Dilfer can't do shit

He can golf He can golf a lot Can he? I didn't say golf well He can golf a lot He is allowed to play golf He's a volume golfer There is no law against Trent Dillford playing golf.

That's right. And somewhere Hugh Freeze is like, speaking of all your golfers. There it is. That's beautiful, boys. Speaking of somebody who was on the course at least 10 times in the month of September. Y'all like that three-arm robot in Pacific Rim. Together.

Yeah, Auburn issued a statement about Hugh Freeze. And it's always good when you're in a battle. He's lost three in a row. You always want statements. Yeah, you really want a statement, especially after James Franklin got canned. That would be Auburn Athletic Director John Cohn issued a statement to AL.com because he understands the most important media outlet in the world is AL.com. Shouts out to everyone there.

One of the things that he said was a coaching change is, quote, not my expectation at this point. I love a good tortured way. of saying that he's not going to fire him. I'm not pooping my pants right now. But this is the part that really caught me here. When asked whether or not he expects Fries to be Auburn's head coach in 2026, Cohn said he has a never say never attitude. I love that.

There's a chance you could stay. When did he get, theoretically? When did he get into the part that made it sound like he was, Robert De Niro and Casino. Right here. Okay, good. And used a metaphor about a car not starting to explain his thought process before we get here. We all went to the same place, right?

Immediately when you heard about your car not starting, we all thought the same thing immediately, right? You want to say it? One, two, three. Auburns, Gu Fries this car. Yeah, okay. I don't know if I'm going, this is a quote. I don't know if I'm going to walk outside my car is going to start or not. I think it is.

I have an expectation it will. But if my car doesn't start enough, then I will evaluate that and make decisions about my car. First of all, if my car doesn't start enough, is like that that's where you, you know, the door was already open for the car bomb metaphor, but that is where you fling the door open and just say, hey, come on in.

I've never heard an athletic director's statement on a coach's future lean into predetermination instead of free, will. No, because usually we get the, you know, usually what we get is the dreaded vote of no confidence with there. Sure. But a vote of confidence. Yeah.

That's at least an active choice, even if it's a lie. This is just sort of like, who can see the future of the wind? This is a, yeah, a vote of Ecclesiasties. I guess we're going to see. Holly, what, I haven't seen the UNC state, but what did they put out? This is an associated press article from. uh this or actually sorry this was yesterday october 13th the headline reads bill bellichick says he never sought an early departure from the north

carolina job it is week eight it is that is all i have to say about that it is week eight some of the reports out last week about my looking for a buyout and trying to leave here and all that is categorically false. Belichick said Monday during his first comments since a blowout lost a Clemson. I'm glad I'm here working toward our goals and the process. I watched so you can this is because this is Dernie. I didn't want to do his voice because you guys all do it better. I'm not going to try to do it because it made me realize that the advantage of Bill Belichick's completely flat affect is it's really hard to tell like you can't

get any emotional read on him whatsoever. It's like trying to figure out if a slot machine is mad at you. Doesn't that kind of return you to fatalism though? That's interesting. Kind of, but it means I can't like, I don't know if he's mad about these reports. I don't know if he's like trying to hide something. It's all just neutral. It's all just nothing, getting nothing on any emotional level and for this limited purpose it actually serves him very well. Right, I'm not being flipped. Do you think he knows if he's mad? No.

Not at all. Not at all. I think he does because what he wants is to nerd out on football and then be praised for having done that. What he doesn't want is to suck at football and have people ask him about things that are

technically not football. And like, there are flavors and variations to his demeanor like look at how like after the tc u loss that is the most depressed human i've ever seen yes sure right so like there are there are certainly times when you can see through the monotony monotone demeanor um and see that like this this man is deeply the biweek got him back to baseline though he's ready i am ready for commands i'm so excited I'm thrilled And I just can't hide it

I'm about to lose control I can't wait to spend Friday night at fucking 1030 Eastern in Berkeley California facing a 10 point favorite team that I just now learned is in our fucking conference

I'm thrilled I forgot this was a Friday game oh god do you think UNC knows that they have more football like there was a minute there where I was like well it was the bye week and now people are to oh look other coaches got fired.

They're talking about Penn State. We can kind of like, but it's not going to go away. No, especially not when you were literally the only game on TV because you're playing, as noted, at Cal at 10th-eastern on Friday night. Like, and Saturday morning on game day,

what do they talk about? Oh my God, Bill Belichick's two and four as of last. Folks, while you were sleeping, Bill Belichick fell to two and four last night. And they'll swing too far the other way and just be like, you know, you got to give more time. He's a great coach, and we think he deserves them better.

Oh, I'm right there with him on that score. I've come all the way around. I've come all the way around on this scenario. And I think that by far the best outcome, at least for us here on this show. And what else matters is that he stays until next year. All right. Keep it. No, keep it rolling more of this.

Hold on. Do you know what UNC's opener is next year? No, I don't. They play TCU again in Ireland. In Ireland. Yes. The ultimate. Oh, now we're the only thing on.

Against the team that really enjoyed beating his ass. And that is after. Everybody saw, but the world. That is after they have pivoted from pile in 40 random transfers to pile in 40 random freshmen. Did. I don't know if they're. So here we are in Ireland with our glorified high school football team, assembled from randos that Mike Lombardi saw on YouTube for eight minutes,

and we're playing this team that kicked the fucking shit out of us last year. Meanwhile, Mike Lombardi is on TikTok band, like typewriters are cool and neat. Would you like to learn how to fix them? Mike Lombardi is writing fucking letters to UNC boosters explaining to them. So you know NFL free agency and the NBA? Well, that's kind of how college sports work. Hello, he did that. You will find this letter attached to a pigeon.

You may keep the pigeon a gift of. Mike Lombardi. The Lombardi thing was low-key wild to me because is there another way to read this than, hey, we saw that other coaches whose methods and

prowess we have been shit talking for the entirety of the lead-up to our debut season here, we saw them shit-talking, us in recruiting. This pivot from transfers to freshmen to suddenly preaching patience

is a turn that I will admit I did not expect because of all the things that I thought might happen this season, a scenario where in week six, seven, whenever this was at this point, they were openly pleading for more time. I didn't think they would be openly pleading for more time. And is there another way to read that besides this?

No. Because we're going to be the 33 NFL team. We got all these hot shot transfers. Then immediately we hear from people, four guys being like what are they doing recruiting here and they're like uh we meant freshmen and now of course they've gone too far in the other direction and there's people around the program telling them no hey guys you actually do need to get some guys out of the portal because that's how things work and they're like am i am i backwards on this i think i think these guys showed up in january after

hired in december showed up in january built the staff and they were like all right press sim let's just see what everybody everybody show up on labor day let's just we are so I think there was a degree of arrogance of like we are so smart we know so much ball that we like fuck it we give us whoever and we'll win yeah yeah yeah and typically when you have something like this it feels like if you're doing this in week eight this is the kind of thing that happens on like extremely cash strapped businesses right that's what it does it's like hey we're changing the menu grand reopening this is like a restaurant that's already on its last legs or this is like a show that um gets a short run and they're like we've changed

producers we've switched out uh neighbor tommy with uh neighbor uh Dave who's much more popular as our running guest right like it feels like a struggling talk show why does my yoga studio sell bagels now I don't know what's happening. Hey, what's up, YouTube? I notice there have been many views lately, but I'm really changing it up. I've decided to do ASMR. I'm still not sure I've articulated what I'm thinking about right now,

which is that of all the ways that we thought this was going to get weird this season. And, like, we, none of us here thought it was going to be successful on a football front. But what I didn't think was going to happen was that we were going to see them flail quite this publicly. in terms of the messaging. You take a mid-tier, which UNC, I'm sorry to tell you, in football, you are a mid-tier A-C-C job. In football, I don't think anybody argues that, yeah. Right.

You take a mid-tier ACC football job because nationally nobody's going to give a shit. It's going to be fine. You can go four and eight, you can go four and eight, five, and seven. Unless you are hewing to the extremes of either direction, which sometimes UNC has done, you can just float under the radar that is 90% of the gig is just and maybe you don't like that if your mid-tier ac cc school nc state certainly has not enjoyed it but you can just like we've talked so much about bill belichick this season and it's for none of the reasons he wanted us to no no and to our point last week it's everything we thought was going to go wrong went wrong at the same

time, I think, faster than we thought, plus other stuff, like of all the ways we thought this was going to go wrong, on the list of things I thought they were going to fuck up, having a G5 coach quoted in a newspaper saying, hey, why the fuck are these guys chasing the same players I'm chasing was not on the list? Yeah, I mean, I think it's gone like exactly as wrong as we, the like, smart asses, would have booked it and even we would have said like obviously it won't go that wrong but it be funny if it would it has gone that wrong and like I think it's gone as wrong as we we believed it would but we wouldn't have actually believed that it would go that right like we

we kind of got we kind of got caught in and never told a joke cul-de-sac here which has never happened before as far as I can remember all of this all of this could translate into four words that have my blood singing singing like i have a 1.3 b a c lit up like a christmas tree and those four words are interim coach steve bellichick interim coach steve bellichick sure give me a chance to win the job guys give him a chance that's all i'm saying just literally bring james franklin in tomorrow Tomorrow. Fuck it.

Bill, go home. I'm not sure that's the worst idea. I think that would... I think that's a good idea. I think that's option one. Option two, are you telling me Mac Brown wouldn't love to come back and just coach out the rest of the season

and maybe beat an NC state team that's been a thorn in his side and looks like they're kind of ass this year. I can't believe. Listen. He'd do it for $100. Right. Remember how we just said there,

were things that we would say are possible that we would never foresee in the actual hey we've got to pull mac brown in for this game manager for his for his play calling and game management acumen and you know they call mac brown mr october for a reason right it's october now that's go get yeah go get it here's the here's the good news cal is all things to all people like there is if if they if they go on the road and beat Cal by 20, I won't take away from that. Oh, UNC's really turn around. I'll be like, boy, Cal

could do anything at any time. That's the only thing I'll learn. If they win, no one will notice or care. If they win, it'll happen when everyone in almost the entirety of Belichick's conference and most other conferences is asleep. No one will

know. No one will notice. But if they lose, everyone will notice. Yeah. And the funny part of that is this is a program that the ACC really needed to succeed this year. And we're kind of getting into looking at the schedule territory, but that's fine. And the other would be FSU, right? Like, yeah, obviously they were banking a lot on, you know, Miami's got to be good, Clemson's got to be good, they get Clemson in the fucking bobbleheads commercial.

We'd like if it have SMU can be good again. That would be helpful. Sure, but like the two that they needed to not suck are North Carolina, which has been hyped all year and has like mainstream levels of hype, not just college football media hype. You need UNC to not be an embarrassment. And you need Florida State, one of your two supposed pillars, to not suck after they spent your suing you and sucked last year, right?

Bon Appetit. Do you know the other team that is going across the world to close down a day in this college football weekend? That would be the final FBS game of Saturday when Florida State plays at Stanford. Two straight nights, two of your coaches who really desperately need to look good. And if they do, no one will know. If they look bad, everyone will know, are playing on. consecutive nights all the way across the fucking world.

It's a brilliant scheduling. Beating Stanford means even less than beating. Like, I think beating Cal, I could at least get talked into like, okay, they got a good young quarterback. Beating Stanford, beating Stanford is filling out your name on the SAT at this point. FSU is putting like all those air miles and all those travel hours to go be a two-touchdown favorite on the other side of the world for nothing. Better not lose.

better lose to Frank Reich Speaking of people who don't want to be here Could Frank and Bill just swap jobs? You know what? At least Frank was up front about it That's perfect Frank was very up front about it There's a way to do this correctly

Then we got Bill closer to the water So he can get away on his boat And we got Frank back to North Carolina Frank just told Stanford like Hey kid listen I might be dating your mom but don't remember my name It will be That would go so much better in Chapel Hill.

Like, Bill is perfect for Palo Alto. That's not a compliment. But he was only doing it because mom said, we need you to date us for one year. Here's a wing stop gift card. See you, kid. You go get you a cold drink out of my cooler, but that's about it. By the way, this is all giving to the question I want to ask you guys, which is this, that I think it is, there's a challenge that the interim coach has, which is how to motivate. and be different, but to do it in about 30 seconds, right?

You have no time to introduce yourself, right? This is Tim Skipper, who, if you don't know Tim Skipper, the interim coach at UCLA is not Jerry Neuheisel, okay? It's not, it's, it's Tim Skipper. And Tim Skipper is the guy who, uh, once they won, he put, uh, a post-it note, okay? on everybody's seat, I think, on the plane that said, are you a one-hit wonder?

They had somebody do that, right? They had a GA go put a little note that said, a sheet of paper on the seat of the team plane that was, are you a one-hit wonder? Which I love that shit. I love, like, the more coaching shit, the better, right? It's not quite up there with, like, it's not quite up there with my favorite motivational tactic of all time,

which is when Dennis Ranchoni was at Texas A&M, and he wanted to teach people how to, to work together as a team. So he staged like a fake SWAT team attack, right? I thought you were going to go with Jackie Cheryl castrating a bull. That was quaint. I mean, that is now pretty quaint.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Also, like, it's Jackie Cheryl. It's kind of a different universe. You're like, was that football coaching or was that Rico? Jackie Cheryl really pushed the boundary between the two. the account by the way is like of a SWAT team attacking the locker room and really like setting off like flashbangs in the locker room I believe was the rumor at the time which oh my god if you've got offered me a scholarship and I showed up in one Dennis Franchone was my coach and second you flashbang me out I'm out sure I don't know maybe I'd be like this place rules

to get more flashbangs yeah exactly am I a bad enough dude to play football here um can Can I just steal my tactic from Ed Orsran at USC? Yeah. Cookies! Hey, everybody gets cooking. I'm not making that up. Ed Orgerand was like, we're bringing cookies back to the table. And it works.

Yes, and people were like, yeah, we love cookies. Like, listen, I know we like to joke about how instead of a pizza party at work, your boss should just pay you more. That's all true. But at the same time, cookies! Who made for cookies! They couldn't pay them. them at the time. That's right.

They had to pay them in cookies. USC especially couldn't pay them at the time. In multiple ways. This is like your boss at your job taking away the break room. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Ed Oron's understanding of the entire football program from a defensive lineman's perspective is one of the most beautiful football things ever, right?

What would make the situation better? More bigger chairs. The man has had a successful, a documented successful career, a documented successful career, step down. Yeah. He's like, what did these boys want? Steaks. When do they want them? Steaks. No.

Hey, you boys look tired, but would they like, nap? In what? Big chair. And after that, cookies. That's goddamn, if you're a 320-pound man and you just put in 25 to 30 good reps in practice, you're like, oh, what would make things better? I can kill for a snickerdoodle. right now.

It was so fucking stick in a little. Listen, if you're applying for a full-time head coach gig, you need to have a plan. You got to have a binder. You got to have a presentation, all that. If you're in the interim, it's as simple as cookies, baby. I mean, have any of y'all ever been a substitute teacher? No. No.

I have been a middle school substitute teacher at a public school. And yeah, man, it's the same. It's the same logic. It's the same mindset. I'm here to make y'all like me. That's it. I don't give it a shit about getting everything done. I want to, when I leave, I want you thinking like, oh, that dude was cool, right?

That's it. That's all you want out of the interim coach. You know how many interim coaches have gotten a job simply because the players thought, oh, that dude was cool? Yeah. It's quite a lot. Yeah. There's real value in being the adult that the adolescents think doesn't suck. It's not a dick.

Yeah. Yep. Yep. That dude is such a not dick. Yep. Yep. Like, you can just come in like Jose Marino did, and you can bet a ham. He bet.

He did. He was like, he was like, hey, man, if you stop, this is, by the way, this is the most Spanish bet ever, right? He was like, if you can, like, he made a bet with Sergio Reggillon, and he was like, listen, if you can stop Marez from dribbling past you, then I'm going to buy you a ham. and he won all four of his one-on-ones with Maurez and then Jose Marino had to buy him this like $650 ham

and he was basically like A promise is a promise And he gave him the ham It is the Like this is the sports movie trope That is probably the most accurate of like We're going to get back to having fun It's like yeah

That shit actually works a lot of the time Yeah Yeah don't do what Jim Boyland did. Jim Boyland of the Bulls put in a punch clock, which one. He did this in 2019. So there's people on that Bulls team who are like, what the fuck is this thing? I've seen this in like cartoons. Based on what I know about Bulls ownership, they might have required this. You got to make sure they're in the building because we're paying the money. Listen, you need to make sure they watch the HR presentation. Okay.

Welcome to the Chicago Bulls. Okay. Fishing scam. Number one, fishing scams. Don't click on suspicious emails. Who? Don't leave the back door open. We got this weird guy, rowdy.

Who is emailing the players from the company. Jimmy Butler, here's your email address at bowls.com. You might think, oh, this email might have cake in it. Don't be fooled. There is no cake. Play for the bulls. You get nothing. You went that shit.

USC. Number four, if you want the grand prize package, the ball has to go in the fifth bucket. It's got to hit the fifth bucket. By the way, we need someone to clock in and work a double Saturday night. Six, be nice in the game. He's got a rough year. Happy birthday. So the punch clock didn't work is what I'm here.

Don't put a punch clock. Yeah. So you know what? If I'm an interim coach, I'm going to get fired. So I'm going to do all of the funniest interim coach. you know what i'm going to do i'm sending everyone an invoice right and you know what's going to say it's going to say for what right it'll be like the four and i'll be like success and it'll be like amount due and i'll be like one hard day's work you know why yeah it's due every day it's due every day

yeah yeah yeah you don't own this you rent success right that payments owed to me coach that is what they say yeah go to leave it on their leave it on their live it on their And then the next day, they'll be like 38 kids at the portal. Be like, I think Coach Spencer was trying to scam me out of a credit card. I get somebody to write a real fawning profile of me in the two days. I'm like, I need a story. And they're like, yeah, dude, he's charging people. Yeah, he's fucking crazy.

He's got a, yeah, I'm charged, charged up. Yeah, he's got a vision for North Texas football. Also, his Venmo is public. It's so wild. A lot of emojis on every transaction. He's charging people for ass? This is weird. That's totally what I would do.

I would do all of the negative things, right? I would do the thing that Tony Sparano did where he buried a football. I love what the football is a prop. Well, I love it when you bury it. Like it's dead. By the way, Tony Sparano, RIP, right? Yeah, sure. But yeah, he buried.

Not because he buried the football, to be clear. Not with the football. Not like a Pharaoh. Oh, no! Tony Farrow is going to be your next co-t iteration after Tony's others. Yeah, yeah. My next Dynasty coach in our group Dynasty is going to be...

It's called Dynasty for a reason. Yeah, that's true. Tony Farrow. Tony Farrow. Tony Mo-Tep's going to straighten this program right up. I found it when beetles flew out of his mouth and surrounded my head in a swirling cloud. It really clarified my thoughts on assignment blocking. The worst of this team will be balanced with a feather in the afterlife.

And we get to go to the ballgame. Ong, 47! Hatships hot! Wow. Yeah, Tony Sparado gathered the O'N4 Oakland Raiders. God, what a lot. great sentence. Yeah. And like... And 2014. And it's like we're going to bury all our bad, whatever, blah, blah, blah, right?

Yeah. And like, what prop should I use for this? Well, uh, let me think of props. I know. I know footballs. Yeah. I don't know any other props. That's it. It's either that are shoes and that would be weird. It's like, yeah, like football goes looking around his house like, huh, well, I own footballs. That's what it's got to be, I guess. Yeah. Which by the way... The rest of this belongs to Joan and I'm not supposed to touch it. I don't touch your stuff. Joan, can I bury your stuff? All right, kids. I brought some

potpourri. Joan said I could have. We're going to bury it. Barrying. Burying it. This is shake, shake, shake. This was when they were 0.4. And according to this article, by the way, he had 12 games to make his case as a solution for the Oakland

Raiders football problems. That's the kind of preview I want written about me, right? I want that little thing. And he did it. And then the next week versus the San Diego Chargers, they lost 3128. They didn't have a football. Dig up the football. Shut.

Shut! Where did I put it? Where did I put it? John! John! I need the dog! You'll let the ghost of problems out. I don't care.

Dig it up. Surely this motivational tactic may be carried on to the next game. Nope. They lost their next game. six games in a row not the first person to pull this should have buried more football on a dynastic timeline though yeah that's but a blip uh by the way not that a one of not the only coach to pull this trick by the way bill bellichick did it buried a ball yeah buried a ball after um after one of their losses in the 2001 season where they later

went on to win a super bowl so it's going on that's because tom brady's dumb enough to believe oh my god yeah that's right this is got that's bad that That might be a Tom Brady object permanence issue, right? You're like, you buried in the, you know, this ball is going in the ground along with all my memories of how much you suck this season, Tom. And Tom's like, I don't see it anymore. That's right. Shit. It's feeding the strawberries now.

That's why I don't eat the strawberries because the strawberries are bad football. Bad football and don't do it. That's why they're bumpy. They got football in them. Every morning before every broadcast, Tom Brady buries a strawberry. Seeds are at the outside. That's wrong. That's weird. It's like having your skin on the inside. I know, I know Bill Belichick did it. He was like,

he's fucking morons. I don't believe anything. I'm going to do it. Why is this so much funnier when you put the mic up like that? I know he did that. But Rex Ryan also did it. And I know when Rex Ryan did it, he's like, guys, this is awesome. We're going to bury a football. Yeah. I'm going to do a magic trick. Like, Rex forgets what the object lesson was. was. Rex just gets into like the male urge to dig

a hole. I bet Rex, Ryan. Hey, we can dig an even bigger hole. Get a few more guys with shovels. I am confident Rex was digging for treasure and somebody was like, what are you doing? I forget. Motivation.

I don't remember. You're looking down at Rex. He's looking up. He's dug a 12-foot hole. He's at the bottom of it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Come on, get down here. He's down there in his wife, beater, in his shorts. I can see your feet better from down here. He and Robert.

Dangle those footsies over the edge. He and Robb, we're doing a moron archaeological thing. The deeper I dig, the more of you will stand on the precipice with your toes hanging over the edge. Win, win. This is where Dad buried a bunch of hot Playboy tapes. There's so much spice channel. Just stuck beneath our feet.

Buddy Ryan's Spank Bank, Bank, Motherland. Jesus, God. All the best films of PECA in Swedish underneath our feet. They were right underneath us the whole time. Bumping tummies the whole time. Find that porn. Find that porn. Keep freaking digging.

The boys have been down there for eight hours. Should we send them some snacks or something? You hear him just like singing. I thought of them was like a hypersexual Huck bin before. Whistle while you work. Bob,

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Pop, Bob. Coach, do we need to send down a ladder to get you up

for game time? Huh? Hell no. I live here now. I love it. Rex Rand's Dwarf Fortress. Just sitting there

humming. Duh do that Rex Ryan has found a lost civilization. Holding up a mud speckled, like, shrink-wrapped copy of Butman 4 and being like, this belongs in a museum. This is the museum. This is the freaking museum now. Somebody catches him.

They're like, quit going to football. We'll do that bullshit Belichick thing. Guys, you're not going to believe it. We dug a hole so deep that we found hole! You know, the whole D-line was like, it's fucking sick. That's great. Can we have cookies? And Rex is like, we always have cookies.

Cookies are up there. Throw down some cookies. Hey. Can we podcast business? Sure. They're ready to spend some money, I think. Got them primed. Got them primed.

They'll do anything to avoid hearing more of this. I've got a girl football tree. Let's go. Speaking of a train. venture. Podcast business. What's the business? He's doing it as Rex Ryan.

He wants to. You do. Get down in the hole. Dig until we find the porn and get some passion, may we have a good time. You know, if you dig far enough, you do hit porn just like Mathematics. Boy. Who's product wants to follow that? Not it.

Folks, if you join the full cast Patreon, which many are saying is a treasure trove of its own, you will find a lot of things. None of them are porn at this time, and I doubt any of them will become porn unless you really enjoy hearing about James Franklin being fired that much. It's $4 a month. It's a shutdown on Fullcast probability guarantee. Probably true. Almost certain to contain no dicks.

I can guarantee there's no porn in the Until Saturday newsletter. Yes. Which was superb. this week, by the way. Thank you. Is there porn in Channel 6? No. What'd you look at me for? I think, honestly, he's probably looking because he doesn't remember what's all that.

Yeah, he's, you're the, you're the editor and he's like, did I? No, but you do get, but for, what, exactly what two things are you posting? Left ball, right ball. Two things week. He said he's a generational talent. And sometimes of the serious third. Two butt cheeks per week. Just third ball dropping into you.

The football that you're burying. One, two, three. The total recall ball. Yeah. Why you like Tom Petty. We've entered Baltie Ball. We do two things a week for our subscribers for the low price of $10 a month. In addition to that, we will have a secret third thing this week.

oh yeah which by the time this comes out uh i forget what you're talking about oh yeah no no by the that's how secret i've been talking about what teams are uh some teams are fast some teams are slow some teams are good and some teams are bad what if we've managed to visualize that all in an interesting bit of data that we've made for you yeah that's it is richard scary framing okay me and goldbug cars and trucks and things that get fired yeah cars and teams goldbug would be a hell of it in a room coach you kid me he would be james franklin solid base yeah yeah yeah james franklin's never getting around the banana car never oh my god it's a pickle car what do you expect me to do it's a car that looks like a pickle

and it's got mice driving it i need four million dollars in assistic mission the coordinator level to get around the pickle car and that's busy town 17 Penn state 14 oh no maniac busy town was favored by one there was no way we could have possibly beaten them interim coach lolly worm said he's going to try to get this place in shape even though he doesn't have arms cookies that's right uh two things a week for the low price of ten dollars including yes the top whatever our massive overview and review and preview of what's happening in college football in addition to our saturday morning hangouts where holly and i will talk about the games but also you know we're here to help we answer questions on saturday morning for everybody who wants to

turn up. So yes, Channel 6, channel 6.6.gov. I.O. for those U.R.L. inclined people. Subscribe. Subscribe, thrive, enjoy. Phantom Island. The show I do is Stephen Godfrey. Phantom Island.com. Also doesn't have pornography moving quickly on. Again, homefield apparel.com. Porn free. Pornography free. Additionally, if you have just recorded a scene and you find it is time to cover. up, we recommend home field apparel because it will clothe your body. That's right. That's right. It is guaranteed. It will hide your shame from all.

No one will see anything that you have covered with home field apparel. Their clothes are also mostly for the upper body, which I think is a tremendous show of support for the robust Donald Ducking community that we've built here in our time at the full cast. Yep. They even have hats. If you wanted to be nude but wearing a hat for some reason. That's the choice you could make.

Hopefield apparel, not porn. Not at all. But attractive. But wholesome. But wholesome. Not that kind of wholesome. Yes, but not. With a W.

Which is also for win. Not Rex Ryan wholesome. No. What? Holes! I got some holes! Rob Ryan's like, Oh!

The dog again. for a good cause I think does that conclude podcast business that's the shortest podcast business we've done in a minute

thank you and the people are deeply grateful now back to important discussion I do wish we had more granular stats of when

exactly people turn this off oh boy we do we could look on we could look on Spotify we could see exactly when it dips

Spotify does give you that minute by minute I want volume I want volume data though when people turn it up because when the

yeah those are the real perverts yeah that's it's It's her real business, the core of our business. Okay, that concludes podcast business. Let's look at the schedule, if we may, very quick. This is the week where we start getting football every night. Football in quotes, because some of it is, it's football. I don't know if it's appointment football, but it's football.

Tuesday and Wednesday, there's not much that it's like, oh my God, you got to see this. That's for sure. One would hope. Because I think if there's something that's like, oh, God, you should see this in those games. It's probably not good. I would say among the Tuesday Wednesday nighters, Delaware Jack State. That's pretty good. That's a Wednesday nighter.

Thursday, you're fine skipping. Tulsa E.C.U. That's fine. Friday, we got a good Friday. This might be the best Friday of the year so far. It's an outstanding. Yeah, it's an outstanding Friday. We've got Louisville at Miami.

A Louisville team that I don't think we've seen, you know, super stress tested a lot versus a very stressful test. in the form of Miami's defensive front. Let's see if Miami has to play more than 50 plays to win this game. I doubt it because they're pretty, they're one of those teams that likes to play as little football as possible, which is very smart. You get Nebraska, Minnesota that should be pretty good. Will Matt Rule will be there at this time.

I'm excited for Nebraska, Minnesota, because I bet PJ Fleck is talking himself into, I'm going to beat Matt Rule, and then I'm going to be the leading candidate for Penn City. You watch, you watch. Once Matt Rule leaves, I'll be the Nebraska. coach. The creep in the master.

And also there's other Nebraska, Minnesota Spencer. It is absolutely time. It is time for the return of the $5 bits of broken chair trophy. This is the annual fundraiser where

one can donate for the Huskers. Okay. Which would be giving to Team Jack Foundation. They've already raised $5,762. it. We'd of course like to say that much higher. Or you could donate for the gophers. The gophers donate to support the kids and families at Masonic Children's and the team one for Infusion Center. So you can donate to either one of those. They both count. Pick aside,

make a contribution. They do this every single year, the people at the bits of broken chair trophy. So again, that is broken chair trophy.com. We encourage you to go over there, throw in some bucks and support a great rivalry and yes an even better trophy it is it is some of faux polini's best work after that unc cal as noted we'll all be watching that don't lie don't don't pretend you're too good for this cow's a 10 point favorite oh my god Four and two Cal is indeed favored by that much. There's a visible line. It's not straight, and it's maybe not that solid,

but it's there from the whole ethos of the CW broadcast itself to the ACC, just marketing all of its Friday night games this week under the headline. You're not better than this. Listen, I know. We don't pretend with one another gear. I know he didn't play there, but he is from the area. I would love if Tom Brady showed up to this game in Cal Gear. That would be the best thing.

It could possibly happen. If nothing else, it would piss off Aaron Rogers. That's true. Which would be the most likable thing Tom Brady has done in many years. Yeah. Saturday morning, LSU Vanderbilt. That's good. That's good shit.

Astonishingly early game. Astonishingly good game. Yeah, sure. I mean, by the standard this year where, like, UCLA kicks off at noon, nothing is really early anymore, I guess. Sure. But in a way, it's certainly early. Everything old is noon again.

Yeah. By the way, LSU. at Vanderbilt Joe Tess is on that call so if you just want to you know That's a little early for our boy I don't know He's going to be ready to go That's very true I'm ready to go I'm ready

Let's fucking rock it's Vandy There ain't no sleepy starts when it's Vandy We're going to get right to it George Tech Duke Duke is favorite of the underfeated Yellow Jackets Washington Michigan sure sure If we must There's a lot of big 12 stuff throughout the day

Just like in every slot just know that all the big 12 games are pretty good That's it'll listen usually true big 12 also i appreciate that like a powerful spice the big 12 has been sprinkled gently right you don't want too much big 12 in one spot uh because again that's stir the pot you got to stir the pot yeah you got to stir the pot and spread that around a little bit you don't want a big mouth full of it all at once yeah i mean i think like really every every big 12 game might not mention them all they're all good Oklahoma south carolina i don't care i like oh point point at that point at that gock at that

sorry it might be exciting i don't really can i say one thing about washington michigan Yeah, let's do it. Potentially a very bad game for Sharon Moore. Like if, if, they're not going to have, if you can't or anything, but if you want, if you want things becoming very uncomfortable, let's lose to two former Pac-12 schools in a row. Sure. In a fashion where you look uniquely limited in what you are offensively. Especially like you, you played Lincoln Riley's USC and you looked like the Pac-12 team. Yeah.

Yikes. It's not good. Baylor TCU is just, I wasn't even on my radar, which feels weird to say. Yeah, it's in the Big 12 grab bag. And for me, it stands over Arizona, Houston because, you know, rivalry. Sure. Let's see. In the mids, middle spot, sorry to skim past Purdue, Northwestern, Northwestern,

one of the best teams in the world. Ohio State, Wisconsin, that's disgusting. You shouldn't entertain that. Yeah, that's, if you want to listen, you want to talk. about something that that Rex Ryan and Rob Brian are leaving at the bottom of the pit when they find it. Oh, dig around this. Here's what's horrifying. Here's what's horrifying about Ohio State, Wisconsin.

Ohio State is favored by 24 and a half points, and the over under is 40. Mm-hmm. Like the gamblers are doing some math here to be like, God, we got to really make this a heavy favor, but Jesus, Wisconsin is not going to contribute anything to this effort. Let's see. So, yeah, that means they're picturing a 28-12, I think. Something like that. You know, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Michigan State, Indiana has a similar point spread for the Spatoon, Texas, A&M.

God, what a, ugh, don't watch any of this shit. Oh, Miss Georgia. There you go, watch that. That'd be fine. Oh, God, we made it through. This is, by the way, where we're going to give, if the starter is Trinidad Chamblis at this point, we're going to have to go ahead and give Gunner Stockton his island name. Sure.

So it would be Gunner, St. Kitts and Nevis, Stockton. Congratulations. I do think Texas A&M, Arkansas has some potential appeal because I'm pretty sure Texas A&M still fucking hates Arkansas and has too many bad memories of, like, bad times with Arkansas. And that is a mean, bitey team. And I think they will be happy to, if they can, just kick the shit out of the Hawks.

This is also a, yeah, this series, pretty much every year is a spectacular and combustible always at Arkansas's expense. sense. The smoking cigar that someone has to hold at the end. And it's Arkansas. Yeah, the exploding cigar. Why is it sparking? Yeah. There are a number of undercard games. UNLV, Boise State, two highest rated teams in the Mountain West. Old Dominion, James Madison, two highest rated teams in the Sunbelt, despite O'DU's difficult time last week. Coastal App State, not quite up there this year in the Sunbelt, two marquee programs. Of course, Coastal Carolina is the best university in the world, as noted, due to the shutdown forecast's upcoming visit. That's true. And also, by the way, when we do this, imagine everyone at Coast Carolina in the commercial doing chemistry. So you know, it's a good school.

Yeah, what happens here? Changes Myrtle Beach. We also have, yeah, this is happening. If you want the non-Big 12th, Big 12 game of the week, Tennessee at Alabama. What's Big 12 about that? Okay. Old school, Big 12. I'm talking 4240.

Oh, points. Points wise. Points wise, yeah. Yeah, we don't do none of that Texas Tech. defense shit no no no not not putting someone in a headlock for a quarter and being like dhate life you want to lie i hadn't really thought about that i don't want oh i'm so bored by texas tech nothing happens i want to watch the alabama shootout that's where we're at by the way i'm thrilled texas tech red raiders director emails at jason not me i love watching someone come out

and immediately take a hammer to someone's face in a game that's what you all do it's terrifying playing ASU that'll be a good game yeah yeah good game that is also a good game but hey four in a row four in a row if it's god's plan he's gonna tell hugh four in a row Missouri at Auburn yeah USC Notre Dame for the first time and maybe my entire life I'm excited about this game like like this is historically speaking it is a top five most important rivalry as far as the time span in which I have been alive I have almost never given a shit about it USC is might be one of the the most underrated teams in the country. The computers love this team. They actually play hard. They play football now, which is not a thing they have done for five to 15 years. Notre Dame, good on defense, improving throughout the year.

This is a pretty loaded night slate with Tennessee, Bama, Utah, BYU, and even up against those rivalries. I feel like I'm 85 years old, but I think I'm going USC Notre Dame. also congratulations to USC and Notre Dame and every other coach you can pull this off because that game

will definitely have two coaches using the open Florida job as leverage for a raise congratulations to give it up yeah maybe yeah I hear there's great interest there

by me by me the agent definitely saying these things yeah and then yeah weirdest the weirdest nightcap

the weirdest nightcap of the year for me so far two schools are equal academic prestige and cultural importance That's right. Florida State and Stanford. Listen, not that we would do this, but if you are a real

pervert, we'll see you there. Boy, I've never felt less perverted, honestly. Go get down on the hole, brother. You ain't having enough. You ain't having enough fun then. Yeah. Yeah. It is what? Jesus Christ. Juicees.