Shutdown Fullcast - Carting the President. Fighting Cousins. 19-Team CFP.

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Can you name the Las Vegas Raider you'd least advise to get in a fight? How about the Raider you'd least want to fight yourself? Okay, so those two guys got in a fightPresidential Physics ExamThe last five minutes of this episodes contain all the latest updates we've heard from our sources throughout the industry regarding the forthcoming 19-team college football playoffHave you heard the good news, about Turfman's College Football Almanac?The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 32 bonus episodes since launching in August 2025, including five (5) new hours just last week. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)The Shutdown Fullcast is produced by delicious and energizing Monster Energy Master Chief Michael Ray Surber Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by north-without-endDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s other show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz (new album out now!)Purchase exclusive Shutdown Fullcast gear at preownedairboats.com, real website, not a trapThrough September 30, all proceeds from our PTKU merch collection will be donated to Alianza Translatinx

He's really made an interesting tour of his career here, going from Washington, Minnesota. Wait, Kirk Cousins had gotten a fight in Vegas? He got in a fight with, you know, like, if you're going to get in a fight in Las Vegas, you want to, like, you want to pick a fight you can win, right? Like, I think you probably go around and you see, like, Max Crosby, that's the guy I'm going to get a fight with. You know, I like my odds there. Like, like, big, big, super tattooed elite peak prime pass rusher, who's just generally pissed off at everything in Las Vegas right now.

Who probably doesn't really want to be there. Who thought he finally got out? I think he was pretty happy when he thought he wasn't going to have to fucking be in Las Vegas anymore. He thought he was going to a much better team. But no, he's stuck there fighting an old man. Wait, so when was the fight? In practice a couple days ago. Oh, I thought you meant this was years ago.

No, no, no. No. Oh, fun. No. I mean, who knows whose fault it was, but regardless. Um, Kirk Cousins, you don't need to be out here like that. No. Good Yahoo headline.

Max Crosby said to have deliberately hit Kirk Cousins for a surprising reason. I hope the answer is because he had Sonic rings inside of him. What a... If he accidentally hit him, then we could make interception jokes, but we can't. That's true. I mean, I'm pretty sure this is just like, I'm pissed off at everything in my life. Sure. They didn't let me leave the Raiders.

So... I'm not happy that Kirk Cousins is on my team. I'm not happy about that. And I don't have to. I was going to get to Chase Lamar around in practice every day. But now I just have this guy standing there. I'm so bored. Damn, Kirk's 37.

You can't be getting invites, dude. Come on. Stop it. Max Crosby. I had a guess is like 30. Oh, God, I always forget he spells it with two Xs. 28. 28!

You can't be fighting a 28. You're old. That's crazy. 28. Who's bigger than you, whose job is fighting. Yeah. Who's pissed off. Yeah.

He's such a violent, like, he's such a violently. red-headed person, though. I wonder if there's, you know how like redheads can't process anesthesia? Never heard of that at all. No, that's a real, no, that's a real thing. They have to give me, like, they have to give me crazy amounts of drugs at the, remember last year when I was having, like, my jaw rebuilt, basically? They had to give me crazy amounts of anesthesia and, like, different kinds of anesthesia because it's not because of the hair. It's like, if you, if you have red hair, you're more likely to have a certain set of genes that, like, you, you metabolize anesthesia differently. Huh.

So they had to give me, A, more drugs and B, different drugs, like, to, this makes me sound like. Hell yeah, bro. You're not like a jungle cat being transported. This is everything how I'm telling you. Here, let's just test Spencer on the Spencer, using your admittedly, and this is not a criticism, admittedly limited knowledge of the Las Vegas Raiders roster, if you were going to get in a practice fight with a member of the Las Vegas Raiders, who would you not pick? as your

Max Crosby. Okay. Great. And Spencer, did you know or not that someone did this? I did not know. All right.

All right. Oh. So if you were to recommend the last person on the Raiders roster who should be getting in a fight with Max Crosby, who would that be?

Or. Cursons. Yeah. There we have it. That's right. Did you really not know? I really didn't know. Guess you got in a fight.

Kirk, you got one leg, brother. Settle down, brother. You're 75 and you got one leg. You don't want to be out here. We got to get Danny Werfel to minister to him. He's got to start a, he's got to open a Christian gym or something. Like you go to this new team and you're like, all right, they drafted number one pick and Tom Brady's my boss. I got to prove myself.

You know, though, you know that seriously. The speech, Kirk Cousins is going to try to cut off this is going to be incredible because he's like, hey, Hey, hey, hey, listen, listen, I'm a man of faith, right? Right? I put my faith and my decisions. They're all in Jesus' hands. Just like David and Goliath. There I was looking at all those tattoos on Max Crosby.

As Christians, we talk about going into the lion's den. I went into the lion's den. I think that I fought Max Crosby. So like when Kirk O'Bangs was here, he had his like, I'm going to quote my teammates' rap songs era, right? So now in Vegas he's going to be like, this is my biker gang era. This is my leather jacket guy era. Don't, don't, hey, listen, don't work yourself into a shoot, Kirk.

Don't. Don't ride too hard for biker culture. I'm not. You'll get a matching jacket. His hands can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, brother. Now, you also might be thinking like, okay, well, how do we, you know, not to cast blame, but like, how do we get here? Maybe Max Crosby just sort of like, you know, lost his shit. Nope. Kirk Cousin started jogging your Max Crosby and grabbed his And grabbed his collar. Who's alpha? Who's the alpha?

Spencer, like we were saying, this isn't just Max Crosby. This isn't just like literally one of the scariest players in all of football. This is a pissed off Max Crosby who thought he'd finally escaped. Can I tell you something? This is a Max Crosby who's had to be in full sun in Las Vegas for a chunk of his football career. You know how cranky he is? It's a pissed off and sober Max Crosby. Do you know how mad a sober person in recovery is when they're playing?

playing football, they have nothing to take the edge off. Nothing. Except you, Kirk. They're choke slamming Kirk cousins. They're going to smooth all those edges out on you. I'm pretty sure I've made this reference before, but having your name spelled with two Xs in a non-Thunderdome capacity here, I don't want to say in the real world because Thunderdome is real.

I think we can all agree on that. But that's like a flared lizard crest or like a red stripe on a snake. Or like every AOL screen name with X is on the outside of the name. Now I'm happy to report. Do not engage. Now I'm happy to report. Thanks to NFL.com. I have in more details about this practice fight.

So you're probably thinking, all right, well, like, Kirk Cousin's pretty level-headed guy. Maybe something happened. Maybe something, like, really set him off to make him, like, go after Max Crosby. And again, NFL.com is making clear that he, quote, charged the 6-foot-5, 256-pound defensive end, who is three inches taller and 42 pounds heavier. Okay. Younger. You're younger. And what could who cause this?

This makes him sound like this is written in a way that suggests he's like an aging rhino at the zoo. Uh-huh. Kirk Cousins possessed by a demon for exactly eight seconds. So what could have driven Kirk Cousins to this madness? Unfortunately, there's no way to know. According to the NFL, the 37-year-old quarterback appeared upset that Crosby tipped his pass forcing an incompletion. Buddy. Man, if Kirk Couss go get in a fight, every time.

one of his passes ends up somewhere I shouldn't. This man's a heavyweight champion about now. He's going to look like Randy Marsh by the end of spring. End of summer practice. I got to tell you. So, all right, both of them got held out of practice on the next day, I think on Saturday as a result. And I got a time out.

Why do you hold Max out for that? I think the idea is we're not trying to pick sides and neither one of you should be fighting in practice and you're both leaders of the team. It's also, there's a degree of quarterback privilege. Sure. Like, you should be like, you should, you should have your hand on the quarterback's forehead holding him at length. Yeah.

Quarterbacks aren't real football players. You both have to say something nice to each other. Mike Felder joined the podcast. I just have to say it for Felder. He's not here, but quarterbacks aren't football players. I got to say. Just like guys and punters. Like, we'll go back to that in podcast business for reasons I will reveal.

It is very funny. Dude in a no-contact jersey charging it. So what are you supposed to do about that? I think, I think Kirk Cousins made a calculated choice. said, I want to practice on Saturday. I'm going to see if I can get down. It technically is a Sabbath.

So this is that suspension. Okay. I think the fight was probably I know it was on several levels a fight, different fight for different people. I'm convinced Kurt Cousins came in and said, what would a leader do? Right? He's like, no. Not on my watch. Oh, Kirk O'Bang

says new tip passes. And that was his whole thing. Like he's going to go after the biggest guy knowing full well that Max Crosby was not going to whip his ass. Sure. Because Max Crosby... I assume Max Crosby is like, listen,

Trey Della is not here. I can still get the fuck out. Yeah. So Fernando Mendoza, the Raiders rookie quarterback, is he was most recently paired with Diego Pavia, the 4'2 bad guy quarterback, right? And he's like, oh, thank God I'm out of that nut house. Now I'm here with serene, boring, sane,

Kirk Cousins, who's just going to be my dad for a year and then leave. no weird stuff, no pavia type stuff is going to go on. Dad's going over the best buy counter. Oh no, Dad, come back. Dad is not handling TRT well. How am I just now finding out that Kirk Cousins is SDA? Is he? I had no idea.

Oh, Jason said Saturday was the Sabbath, so I just assumed. There you go. Oh, okay. Is he? I don't know. NFL.com didn't say so. That would surprise me. That would be a great.

That's a great aside, isn't it? Right, Kirk Cousins, comma, SDA. Like, he has a focus on the family bio page, and I assume that they think SDA is satanic. Whatever he is, some sort of big box charismatic without question. All right. One of them best bias. He's a big box charismatic right now. So I assume that was, by the way, that was Couss motivation.

Crosby's was, I'm Max Crosby. I get mad at things. That's my job. Sure. At quarterback specifically. I have a Serbian mom and I was over 11 pounds at birth. This is what I do. right and but by the way all things that are true

that's if all the people his name is max m a xx because he was birth to a long boat right if you looked at every player in the current NFL and you had to pick out 10 who are most likely to be signed by the wwe max crosbie would be top five three yeah he came with the name brother he's been like that it's all it does what it says on the tin yeah he's already got a He's already sold, right? That's, by the way, who eats up old men, the legend killer.

He's gonna max your jaws, B. Yeah, Eastern Michigan, East of Michigan's finest. He got that name, apparently, because of how big he was when he was. But his birth was over 11 pounds, yeah. Oh, I, I didn't make that out.

So it's like, so it's like the opposite size baby would be named fun size, but this kid. Right, right, right. This kid's named super size. He got the like European description of an extra large, basically. Yeah.

Yeah, and this is a man who has, you know, come up hard. Like, he did not come from, like, football royalty. He does not have, you know, a lineage. He has no inns. This man played at EMU. You think he doesn't know hard time? Yeah, this man is all, this man is living hard times. Michigan states at ivory tower compared to that.

So when Kirk fucking cousins, who's had a trophy room in his house since high school where he was like, that's where my- Michigan State. That's where Jesus and I are going to put the Super Bowl trophy, right? This is in the documentary quarterbacks, okay, on Netflix. You can go, look, he has a trophy case that's ready for the Super Bowl. It's waiting for him. For the Lombardi trophy?

Right, for the Lombardi trophy. It's like right there. It's going to be another year before he gets there. Yeah. And when that guy comes up, right? I'm going to sign with the Raiders, if that's what I'm trying to do. Yeah. From Michigan, by the way, like not like same name.

Wouldn't decide with the Falcons either, frankly. same region but very different neighborhoods or the Vikings that's more than a mountain I mean we all we all know Kirk's treasures lie in another heaven his bank account thank you Mario he is truly bountifully blessed he is bountifully blessed it has been for years that cup runneth over in that bank but for doing damn not a damn thing either damn hey listen to be clear

he's been an above average quarterback for like 35 years I'm actually glad you clarified this because it took three or four pyramid leaps there from me to realize you guys weren't saying he's got a big ass I was like I've never noticed that

huh I think he has a normal ass it might have been like during his like month as like Kirkobangs in his Atlanta era he patted that out a little bit he did he did we helped him so so what to be clear Kirk Coussons has a space for the LaVarty Trophy and to date has won one playoff game, which was in 2019.

It's waiting, though. He's ready. You know the great thing about Googling Kirk Cousins' butt? What's that? Is that you get two things. One, it says, did you mean bum? As in the AOL.com headline, Kirk Cousins, bum rushes Matt Crosby. And then if you click over to video, you get a video entitled, Kirk, that's the wrong but from when he lined up in the wrong place.

in a Vikings game in 2021. Yeah. I'll keep you guys posted as it as Warren. Not too many gooners looking up Kirk Cussons. There's one. I'm willing to say this one.

But not none. But not none. But if there's one, if there is one Kurt Cousins' gooning hive, it's probably in Vegas, right? Or maybe on threads. Could be on threads.

Yeah, anything is on threads. Shit, we'll never know. I'm not going on. Weirdest hive of scum and villainy. There was this very dystopian article about gooners having these sessions where they kind of like shared goon material. And when they did, they would try to outdo each other. And I'm telling you, the person. So I can screencap you like that.

The person who wins this one of these sessions is the one who it's like really weird thing, really weird thing, horrible thing. And then the last one, it's like Kirk, cousins in an Atlanta Falcons uniform. Wow. They're all like, oh, he did it. He won. This guy's too far gone. We can't compete with this. Boot him from the Discord.

Server, you're right. That is a weak butt. He's got a weak butt. I don't know. Where's he pulling his, where's his power train, I guess is what I'm asking. So this is a weird thing.

Hardest thrower among NFL quarterbacks legendarily was Dan Marino. Go look up Dan Marino's ass. That is a sentence I want you to quote me. I bet server already has that as well. Go look at Dan Marino's ass. And tell me to where his back butt? This is going to be the,

earliest another past I'm never done. I don't remember by by hey hey by 80s

white guy standards those are haunches. He's got a bit of a don't on him. Yeah. Your memory

has alluded you. I think I'm remembering I think I'm remembering old Dan Marino with this

no, no no, he's very correct. You are remembering, I'm seeing a picture here of Dan Reno

lying on the ground and these are the Disney logo uniforms this is post 96. This is Jimmy Johnson

era. We have a little Double bubble? That's the first one that came up here. There's nothing going on there. Because he's depleted. But here's a Shula pick of him and Dupor celebrating. And he's got quite a donk on him.

So maybe it could have been like the years of, you know, being knocked on his ass or cocaine use that minimizes donk. You know what I just because it's Miami. No, you know what I think it was? It was beer and boat life. Right. He's just sitting on the boat. He's drinking beer.

The whole thing's just atrophying. To be clear, doing a lot of rails, too. And that wasn't just the Miami thing. That proud, well, that proud Pittsburgh patootie, right? The, like, fry-fed fanny has just sacked. And he's just normal at that point. I mean, I think he fucking deserved it. Whatever he might have been up to.

Yeah. As long as it, as long as no one got hurt. Like, this man was out here passing for 17,000 yards a season to no avail. He played for the same team for 15 years and they didn't draft him a single fucking running back. Yeah. For like, you understand how rude that is? No. And then almost immediately after he left, they were like, yeah, running back.

Yeah. Let's trade everything for Ricky Williams. Woo! You get Bernie Parmally again. Yeah. Like, he might have been the greatest football player ever. And yeah. We'll go unacknowledged forever.

Also, amazing tipper. Like, fantastic tipper. Great dude. Like 100% our best Lummox quarterback. This is the premier. He did have Reggie Robey, though. So, like, it wasn't all. He did have a weapon.

It's true. It's true. You know. did have a true weapon. Yeah, he's, he's, listen, he beat the Chicago Bears. But he had a DC. Like, I guess what I pointed. Respect needs to go to Duprin Clayton.

Those, that was like, that was one of the first, like, super solid NFL receiving duos. Because, like, the Niners had Jerry Rice and Dwight Clark. That was theirs. Nothing else really, like, comes to mind for me from that era. Like, everybody else has had, like, a go-to guy. And the other team that had it was the Dolphins with DuPring. The, right?

The Niners had like every position is a... They're running back with a wide receiver. This is why they beat the dolphins in the Super Bowl. Yeah. Dolphins run a Super Bowl? Yeah. It went really well. I wasn't alive.

It's fine. So no, not that I remember. They weren't. Like it really is... This is really a joke about how you're young and beautiful. If you extrapolate, like, his best season, it really is like someone throwing... These days throwing for 9,000 yards and not winning

title in a prehistoric offense like but do you know who would have done that at the peak of his powers kirk cousins kirk cousins absolutely would have had a 7000 yard season where you're like and they finished 6 and 11 that went nowhere that was that one viking season where it was like they're like 12 and 1 or something and everyone is like everyone is like this is bullshit this is not real yeah do you remember who they lost to in the playoffs yeah uh it was that stupid fucking game where it was like fourth and three and he threw a two yard out. These are the 22 Minnesota Vikings. They finished 13 and four. Yeah. And they were first in the NFC North and everybody was like, to Jason's point, it was like, I don't know

about this. And then they lost to Danny Dimes in the fucking nine and seven. Nine seven and one New York Giants. Let's get him, Danny! On a fourth down pass where Kirk Cousins didn't even throw it to the sticks. Ryan, can you answer me two questions? Yeah, please. Was that before or after Danny Dynie? got his massive bank breaking deal that he had no way deserved. I think it's before. I think that's like maybe right before.

So you're trying to tell me. Kirk Cousins was so good at getting the back. He actually helped another quarterback back get the back. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 100%. All right. Cool.

Who was the coach at that Minnesota Vikings team? Um, that so, so that's not the issue because it was Kevin O'Connell who's still there and he's still doing. I was like, I was like, please say it was Mike Zimmer just because Mike Zimmer is the best because he would go to like team meetings and be like, You're all terrible people. I hate you. You're a disgrace to your families and wives.

You're their Vikings is all like, it's saying enough. So speaking of a lineage of quarterbacks gathering bags, I want to lift up Danny Dimes here because this man is getting paid. Get paid all again. They had like nine good games with the Colts and they're, ah, this is our guy. So we might, we might have the next Kirkgo right here. That's how unpleasant it is to have Anthony Richardson on your roster. Exactly. Give all somebody here.

Get over here. Danny could have it. Oh, my God. Hey, hey, that man was given mentorship and guidance by Billy Napier. Quarterback was for a Billy Napier. Yeah, it's not his fault. Kirk Cousin. But yeah, Kirk Cousin just was like,

had a stretch here. 2016 threw for almost 5,000 yards for Washington. You know what they went? Eight, seven, and one. Yeah. You like that! He's awesome. I know he's sitting here making fun, but I'm like, this is, this rules.

It was awesome too, because if he gets into a playoff game or an important scenario, there's no stress. I know it's not going to work. There's just so much. There's so much Kirk Cousins, I think it's really what it is. There's the kind of mid-NFL quarterback who's like, you're going to get what you get week in and week out. It's going to be the same belief thing. That is not Kirkgo. Who was the Atlanta Hawking?

You're going to have highs and lows that balance out. Who was the Atlanta Hawk who couldn't stop shooting threes, even though he wasn't not good at shooting threes. Josh Smith. Yeah. Josh, Josh Smith. Your job is to dunk.

Right. Right. Go dunk. Three from deep. And it was like, it was a thing for like eight years of a unrelenting shower. And by year four, it was like, let it fly, King. Yeah, that's right.

Don't let him tell you who you are. Who's your job is to stand 15 foot from the basket and score exactly 23 points per game. 10, 10 boards. You are Josh Smith. And you're. shooting from 10 feet behind Joe Johnson. You should be dunking. Josh Smith's era was not too long after.

He was with the Hawks when I moved to Atlanta, and this is by far the most I've ever known about the Atlanta Hawks, not because I was watching their games, but because ambiently people would just be talking about it wherever I was. Like this was like the coffee shop bar convoy that you were just overheared. And just over and over, people were just like, what the hell, man? I just realized I'm wearing a hawk's hat from that era as we speak.

Like, it was my favorite run in Hawks history because it was just like, oh, my fucking God, every single night you're going to get Joe Johnson matriculating nothing efficiently. You remember nothing. And then you're like, oh, what a good game. What a good game he had. Whereas Josh Smith, wildly memorable in every direction. Like, one of my favorite athletes ever. You literally never knew a shirt. Incredible.

I had to go and look because I was like, man, it's weird that like John never did a video about this. But no, Josh Smith is in the secret base Hall of Fame. Thank you, Joe Ali. I have friends who are sports idealists and I have sports who are friends or friends who are sports realists. And sports realists are the ones who look at Josh Smith after he's decided to be a three-point shooter. And in year three, they're like, this is awesome. Like in year one, they're like, what's crazy? The fuck are you doing?

Dude, you know? And they're like, upset about it. And then like year three, they're like, this is the coolest shit. Yeah, man. Let it fly. And then I have sports. dealist, right? Who, who even in year six, they're like, why? What are you doing? And I'm like, what a miserable way to go through life. He's never changing. He's going to be what, like,

like it's, it's not that he was a bad player. It is that he invested all of his skill points in the total opposite tree. He should have never been behind the three point line. What are you doing back there? I don't know, cool stuff, man. You're doing cool stuff. Hey, but you know what? He didn't fight Max Crosby. There's all these memes of like the Punisher getting in sort of all sorts of wild situations, fighting the Hulk and fighting Moby Dick and like whatever. And they're all like, Punisher, fight anybody else. Kirk has this is now you.

Fight somebody else. Okay, I completely lost track of Josh Smith after he became not a hawk. And I did not. I'm scanning through this, this story from Joe Ali on Secret Base for 2021. Hi, Joe. I did not know why Josh Smith was in the Secret Base Hall of Fame. It's not even because of that. He had a, I did not know about.

about his Charlie Weiss deal with the Pistons. Oh, this is so good. In the 2013 off season, I'm just reading now. Smith signed the most expensive free agent contract in Pistons history when he inked a four-year $54 million deal. It was an immediate disaster. He played 105 games with the team, was waived in 2014, and was on their books until 2020.

That's my guy. That's my guy. Long rain, always. That's like, that's a 1.4. turn of the century Notre Dame coaches were Jay smooth from deep inside your bank account from deep in the vault

dude the hawks were awesome back then because like Joe because we had Joe right we had ISO Joe and Joe Johnson this is what I remember he had a big truck and everyone on the hawks were like dude Joe's got a huge house I got lost in Joe's house like there were multiple interviews

there were multiple interviews where people were like so man how's practice today and they would just be like dude he's got a pool inside a pool. I don't even know how that's possible. Like, like, dude got paid, like, you know, lots of money even by, you know, NBA All-Star standards because, like, you find a guy who's going to give you exactly 22 and 8 every single night for the rest of eternity. You pay him a lot of money. Take him. Yeah. And even then, the focus was always like, man, Joe is so rich. They're like, yeah, he got 25 and 15 last night.

They're like, yeah, that's true. Did you know he owns the biggest fish tank in North America? Wait, is that true? No, no. Probably. I got so excited guys. It was the funny contrast between what a boring player he was, literally named Joe Johnson, with, like, extravagant wealth. And they were, like, off the court, it was like, I have found Osamandias. He is real, and he lives in Marietta. And he has the most stereotypically plain name, and his buddy is named Josh Smith. These two wild eccentrics with the most forgettable names possible. Then Mike Woodson with no eyebrows.

Man, what a team that was. What a moment. Shaved his eyebrows, told nobody what the bet was that he lost. Sorry. Real ball. Real ball. So, like, all the best NBA players all time at shooting three-pointers are in the, like, 42 to 45% range. Like, Steph Curry is at 421.

Steve Nash, 428. Steve Kerr is the leader with 454. And then you go down and you're like, okay, there are still talented guys who you're like, all right, Josh Green is here. 387, Torian Prince at 386, like Jalen Brunson's at 385, like still good numbers. Guys where you're like, pick him up.

Get out there and pick him up. Yeah. Sure. Josh Smith in his NBA career shot 1,5783 pointers and made 28.5 percent of them. It was awesome. And also, there was a

meme for a while where it was like him in a video at practice. and somebody lobs one and you hear Smith call out, bet it's broke! And it clings off the rim. He knows a bad shot when he sees it. No one has done more time in the bad shot simulator. It's like, ah, that looks like one of mine.

Legend, absolute fucking legend. Oh, but the Hawks wasted pay roll on him. I have news for you. It ain't my money. It's not your money. Money's not real. money's not real I'm so glad we started off with fights in practice

I am this is the theme it's August let's get froggy yeah yeah let's get a little feisty let's do it let's do what the gators did they got in three fights in practice

and John Somerall's like this is why you're four and eight I can't believe I'm giving a tiny bit away of our Patreon episode that just came out when they asked for bold predictions and somewhat goofily

I said the gators were going to regret getting rid of Billy Napier. And I already wish I could take that back, and it is August 11th because that came out. I think we recorded that episode like the day before I heard that Somerall had said this in practice. So sorry about that. This is clearly the man for the job. I love any coach who just as like, you guys are shit. I'm being paid a lot of money.

And I want to tell you today, you guys are garbage. I'm not comparing the two in any way other than this. But all it got you was four and eight has. a little bit of the Sabin I'm going to go sit on the dock speech Yeah I will go kill myself If you continue to play it this way The coach who's not like I love the chippiness

I love the fire of the feistiness the competitiveness The coach is just like this is fucking stupid Spencer can I ask you what happened Immediately after he made that speech per the practice report Believe they got in another fight holly I'm worried I wasn't worried about the Gators before boys I'm worried now God fucking damn it

He's fucking morons No, I mean it. Like that made me glance at the calendar be like, when did we play them? There's like a cartoon cloud of limbs behind him at all times. And he's just got a little dark spiral over his. Furniture flying out of it and cats hissing. I mean, that follows like Kirby's model, right? Which people are like, man, can't Kirby control that program?

And the real question is, I think a certain element of the Georgia program has all along been this kind of like barely contained violence between extremely competitive players, like the story about the guy, the transferer coming in and telling a player who farted in the huddle to be respectful, right? Player goes in, cuts a massive fart. It's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm a leader. I'm going to go ahead and tell you not to do that. And then dude steps up, the farter, and knocks the guy, you know, out, like, like just absolutely clocks him. And Kirby's reaction, according to the clip I saw was, oh, geez. Oh, come on. It's kind of like being a frontier saloon keeper.

God damn it. There's always just bodies flying in and out of frame. A frontier saloonkeeper in the police state that is Athens where like there's 35 bounty hunters right outside the saloon. I mean, we tend to think of these guys like, oh man. The Old West is all alleys, man. Shit. Right.

How many Athens policemen were in Deadwood? Jeez, man. There's no telling. Listen, that's not fair. That's not fair. You might think that they weren't there because they really love arresting people. But actually, they just love casual racism. It's actually true that my male colleagues are holding me back on this show.

It's so true. It's a conspiracy that we all plot and scheme. Oh, geez. These disciplinarians, these leaders of men. Hey, Spence, we don't play each other this year. What are we going to do? Oh, it would be so relaxing. Do you know?

You'll go to Auburn on the 19th. Do you know who you play instead in that traditional spot? I just noticed. Yep. Who we got? The rivalry has been. We got to get West Byron. If you're out there, call in.

Who we got? We got Auburn. You are at Auburn. That's not who I'm talking about. Oh, no. Tennessee plays. He doesn't know what was happening the week after that. Tennessee, September 19th.

Oh, I thought you meant who. I thought you know who Florida was playing. No, no, no, no. Who is Tennessee playing the week that you would expect them to play Florida? Go look. Go look. I don't really want to talk about the future. Holly, you'll be delighted.

You're trying to tear this. I know who we're talking about. You're going to tear this show apart before you even leave. You're trying every week to sabotage us. I didn't make this schedule. I didn't make a mastermind of espionage. Ketisaw State goes to Knoxville on September 19th. Yeah, y'all fuck.

Fighting for the Ottawa of Florida. Kennesaw's a lot. The new gators are in the house. We're inviting owls into the house. Don't sully our fucking name. We won a conference title in the past decade. Thank you. Hey, it's legal to shoot those.

No, it's not. What, Alice? What? Conference titles? I don't think that's true. It's not true at all. Okay. Start the show.

Sorry, you said let's start the show and then we did this. False fans might not be up on their license. That's what I'm saying. What? Okay. Just say welcome. There's no need to be nasty. Just say welcome. Wow. To the shutdown full cast.

Judgment for three. That is broke. Her cousins drops back. Is it a playoff game? Oh no. I am Spencer Hall. I am a host of this show, allegedly. proprietor of channel six newsletters and author of a very except for one of the authors of a very exciting college football preview we're going to talk about uh joining me is uh phantom island's own ryan nanny uh say hi ryan hi ryan uh jason kirk of the new york times corporation uh in the until saturday newsletter and one of the host of the show yeah hey uh holly anderson co proprietor over at channel six and

And yes, this is such an extensive intro that you've started doing lately. I know, I know. I like it. And also the person who made that college football preview happen along with a couple of other people, host of a cast of 30 to 40 people. Too long. Too long. And Michael Ray Cerber. Technical genius, actual genius.

This is my fault. This is my fault because I pointed out a couple weeks ago that when you see. say that I'm Spencer that's Ryan that's Jason you can see them this is someone's first podcast and they've already stopped so I so years ago I would use you throw in like hello like put a and then we all just gave up eventually yeah there is no stopping I mean I agree it is good to sort of like um uh associate names with people at times anyway this is my fault because I happened to mention this to him like two weeks ago and I guess it's stuck in his craw because now he's doing this instead.

Mm-hmm. We are the shutdown fullcast. Hi, see the Internet's only college football podcast. Do you want to try and say it together at the same time? Like on a local commercial? The Internet's only college football podcast.

We're here for you. For men. For men. We're here to believe you. We're here to believe men. That's right. Finally, someone will. Can I start by potentially getting our

show and all of us individually into great legal and physical danger. We're at the 35 minute marks. I think we all love one of your patented opening. This is not a game. This was not a game, actually. Trap creed shut. I assume everybody on this show,

and most people listening to this show are familiar with the maybe it will happen today meme. Yeah? Funny story. Yeah, I know that one. That guy did the art for the new Channel 6 refresh. So we will get to that. Yeah, I think the most recent one I've seen is that one,

which is a recreation of, what is it, the Duran Duran Río album cover? Maybe it will happen today for people who don't know what I'm talking about is a sort of idle internet way to wonder if today, the day in which you're saying maybe it will be that day, will be the day that the current holder of the office of president will pass away from, causes unknown. I guess my question that I've been thinking on a lot is do you think the president, the current president is aware of that meeting? Like for reasons we're going to get into,

we know that the president is aware that there are people who wish him to befall bodily harm. Are you asking if he knows he's mortal? No, because I think the story we're going to get into that just came out yesterday proves that he knows that. But do you think like he is familiar with the specific phrase maybe it will happen today and that it is directed specifically at him like i'm not asking do you think the president is aware that people all presidents are aware that people want them dead like that's that's that's just part of being president it's like being a podcast host yes but do you do you think anyone has ever he's ever heard the phrase maybe it will happen today and bid like wait that's about me and my heart may be giving it uh holly and i both have questions

yeah with jason you buzzed in first go yeah So is there a distinction between has heard it and remembers it? Because information does not tend to stick in this man's mind. All right. Do you think he has ever been aware of this meme and it's meaning? And perceive what it means. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

We just had the biggest clap of thunder here. Lord. Lord. Hello? So, so I don't think you have a question about the framing here? No, I had a, I had a. not an answer to this, but I had a thought to throw in. Okay.

I think in order to determine this, we first need to determine how much time we think that we see him on the internet is actually him, and how much is some lunatic federalist society goon tweeting for him? Sure. It has become pretty apparent over the past however many months that, you know, we are not residing in the same reality. Like we know from reporting that he's being fed like fake poll numbers by his staff, right? This is, maybe it will happen today is not, it's subtle enough to get away with doing what it does for a long time because it's very unspecific. I think the-incredibly so, yeah. I think the subject line on the account is like, if you're hoping for that thing, maybe it will happen today.

That's it. It's unspecific and it's passive. That's the other important part of it. And I think for that reason, and because as Jason points out, you know, information does not stick in this brand's brain, I'm sure his staff is aware of it and I'm sure that they have like on the list of fish to fry regarding what is going on with him

this seems like a green level alert in the grand scheme. As far as those specific words and their meaning go it's possible he has breeze past them at some point and I would bet against even that having happened mainly because it's a blue sky centric thing

and this is a truth, truth social centric guy there's nobody there is nobody on truth social. Okay, well, still, Stu's not hanging out on TikTok, I guess is my point. No, but a lot more of his, a lot more of his staff are,

and there was a couple, it's like the strummy, strummy la-la song, so it's not really my thing, but I appreciate the effort. There's like a TikTok song called, it's not quite in the same vein, but it's called on the day it finally happens. Yeah, I guess ultimately,

my point is this feels like, you know, two people within one bubble, like a thing everyone knows about, to people in most bubbles, it's a thing they've never heard of. Sure. That's, yes. And he is in the opposite bubble.

Yes. I guess I wondered if like the attention seeking part of it or the fact like, listen, if you, I don't know, let's pick Facebook. I'm not on Facebook hardly at all. But if an entire meme developed around me on Facebook, even though I don't use Facebook, I do hope that I would become aware of it in some way, shape, or form. What if it was like the millionth meme about you? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. That's true. Like, there's, that's the other thing. There's so much, like, talk shit,

get hit content going around at this point, that I'm not sure that I, it's kind of like this one has an equilibrium level that is below the sight line. Okay. Like, and, and this dude has been hated by so many people for so long. Like,

uh, just a few days ago, I noticed a comic book from, like, 1988 eight that was Lex Luther posed as Donald Trump's autobiography. Like, Lex Luthor's scumbag villain. Like,

It was exactly a riff on it, a spoof. This is 40 years ago, right? Right. This dude has been hated for longer than most of our listeners have even been alive, you know? So I guess my follow-up question is then, when the president of the United States was stuffed into a beverage cart that you use on an airplane. Can we jammed? Jammed? Jammed.

When he was secreted into the dining cart to be transferred off. of Air Force one and onto a different military plane, like the Asian man in Oceans 11 being smuggled into the vault. We're really pushing the frontiers of knowing how crazy it smell in there. That means, I think what you're telling me is one of the thoughts that was passing through the president's head was not, oh no, maybe it will happen today and maybe it will happen right here. I think his only thought is, ha, suckers. And also that and also, Ooh, burger. Found a burger in here. Yeah, he strikes me as more of like a,

not so much a plotting guy as a stimulus response repeat guy. Yeah. It is. Yeah, well, give me, I guess I'm Odysseus now. I got to tell you, I got to tell you, stuff the president into an airplane dining

cart. The physics of this are still confusing to me by the guy. Is some taskmaster fucking shit is what it is. Fucking plungers and crowbar. He's almost in. Oh, let's see what he's done with this one. No points. He's just in there bitching the whole time about every bump in the road.

How did you find out about it, Holly? I was, so when this was going down, I was, well, the funny thing is Spencer said something because we put our Turfman's College Football magazine out yesterday, day before yesterday when you're listening to this, at like 2.30 in the afternoon, which was about five hours after we had wanted to, but there was some haint stuff. with the storefront and so it was like 730 at night before we got around to like okay let's sit down and do like a great big promo thread about this thing and I was still typing like an hour and a half later because they were like you know we wanted to shout out all the stories

individually and all this stuff so we were like going through our list of people of like hey follow this person share their work and Spencer like from the other side of the room just vaguely it goes like you know man it'll be it's good I'm gonna feel real bad if we get to the end of this thread and it turns out that we've you know bombed another country while we were doing this and we're just in here blithely talking about how we made college football horoscopes and aren't they funny and then I get to I click away and the first thing I saw was Ian Boudreau saying also it's fun to think of this happening by means of some kind of fish tube and I saw that tweet out of

context and I love a good fish tube and so I went and but the thread the the post that starts that thread is Ian going, what do you mean they smuggled the president out of Turkey in a catering card, which did not clear anything up? My theory is he hasn't been, so you asked about the fish tube. I want to get all noise. I want to get all news by fish tube.

I have one more theory, but I don't think, the fish tube is an interesting theory, but I don't think he's actually been wet in 15 to 20 years. Wait, like a, like a Joe Dante situation? He's certainly been moist.

Yeah, I think he's, I think he's in a situation where, They just keep applying new coats of things to him. And that explains the odd shambling superstructure he has now. You think he's like a max factor golem? I bet he got, I bet he got moist in that beverage.

Well, there's another thing, too. I think when he was put in the cart, okay, after not being moistened, right? After they were like, oh, put him in. You need to put some talcum or drying powder on him, right? Put some citric acid on there and just see if it'll, you know, tone it down a little bit. They got to put him in rice. So he, right now there's another political story involving a terrible person named Max Miller. You wonder how did this Max Miller person ever get proximity to power and how does he get favors done?

The answer is Broadway musicals because from the prospect, Miller was very close to the president. And obviously it could smell that he has not been wet in 15 to 20 years. And nonetheless, yeah. It's dry rot. It's dry rot, right? You're from Florida. Yeah. It's dry rod.

When you walk out on a rotting desert. No, but you say it from Florida, everything in Florida is constantly a little wet. A different kind of rot. Yeah, it's a different kind of rot. A little wet, but never washed. But never washed. But never washed. A little wet but never washed is a beautiful turn of phrase.

Right. Not coated in what could be a three to four inch thick strata of moisturizers, makeup, Donald's grease and whatever the fuck else is in there. Anyway, one of Miller's talents that got him close to the president. was because, and this is according to an actual article in the prospect, was because he had an innate talent for knowing just what nostalgic show tune at what precise moment to mention to Trump. Particularly memory from cats would succeed at talking Trump off of the ledge of an incipient meltdown. That is a quote.

In those days, senior White House staffers would summon Trump's, quote, music man, unquote, when the president became grouchy. So Miller could check on the order of the song. So I want you to imagine they're stuffing him in here like some sort of rotten garbage bag full of trash, right? Like some sort of sleeping bag that somebody has poured a 30-year-old beef stew into. Like laundry, you haven't done in two years that you're bringing home. And now to soothe the president by singing for eight minutes about how he's going to go to cat heaven. Just as they're about to seal him up into this thing that probably smells like old Biscoff cookies, right? That sounds fine.

That sounds fine. Beths. And he's like, oh, no, I might die. Who knows? They're like,

somebody is just whispering in there. He's like, maybe his cart has custom speakers. Like, you know, because Air Force One is a super upgraded plane. Cart Force One has amenities already in there, a binky thing in that nature.

No, they just threw a fucking JBL in there. Just threw one in there. It's like throwing a set of keys in there for him to jangle around. If you play Andrew Lloyd Weber, he's just out like a light. All right. I want to say, I think this.

So first of all, the fact that this story leaked is kind of crazy because it involves. I can't imagine why it leaked. So my first theory is that, my first theory is that the president leaked it because he was like, I don't want to do that ever again. I don't ever want to be. I need the security of this measure to be compromised. So we never stuff me in dining cart ever again. I don't think that's what happened. I don't think that's what happened either.

I think you think this is badass. Here's what I think might be coming down the pike, and I'm going to call my shot here, and I really hope we hit it. I think somebody's about to hit the most outrageous Calci Pay Day you've ever seen, and that's on the bet. Will the president fit inside an airplane cart? One person's bet one billion dollars on it.

The dude's standing there, cramming him in, phone in the other hand. Some 17 market or whatever the fuck they call it. Some 17 year old, some 17 year old who just snorted three lines of pro vigil and got the job off of some far right message board it. Is that Kalshi like, yeah, take the bet, whatever.

There's no way if it's there. Just do it. Bankrupts the whole company. No way. No way. You put it on there. You got to pay it out. You got to pay it out.

You got to pay it. Bigger balls has completely destroyed the company. Single hand. Some dude to the broccoli cut, it's like, I thought it was good. Thought we had the numbers. My third theory, and this is maybe too political, is that the Iranian government is like, all right, would we like to assassinate the American president? Of course. We've always wanted, like, that's always sounded fun.

But we also recognize that that will lead to downstream effects that we might not like as much. What if instead, through a series of threats of, like, realistic threats about possible assassination, we could get the president to do increasingly. dilly and stupid things that we then released to the public. What if that's what's happening instead? We can get him to sell out his advisors in ever more elaborate ways, right? Like, I dangled them over a shark tank, but it was for a good purpose. If the Oregon duck doesn't come out to midfield at some point this season, in a catering cart, stuffed inside a catering card and emerge from it, I will be sorely disappointed.

You know, I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to make an audible here. Where was it that this cart thing happened? In Turkey. So this is literally like, you know, same country as the Trojan horse. This is probably how they sold it to him. Sir, you're recreating history. Mr. President, get inside.

Charlize Theron's on drug beach there. Mr. President, this woke movie, we have to combat it with a few better. Yeah, you have to do the cool version of. I've always wanted to be Trojan man. Man, can you think of the sunrise? Can you think of the like Alonzo morning gift that life would throw at you if it was like, Air Force One has been shot down? Trump was not on it and he survived. And I'm like, I just want to see the reaction on blue sky.

Just see the reaction. Steve Kendall said this morning and I agree, he's like, I don't think we know how to reckon with the kind of psychic damage that would have caused. I lived! Gotcha, Armstrong. Not only did I live. I got all the burgers I could eat from the dessert cart. Not only did I live.

I got a plane full of people killed and I'm still fucking alive. This is like how Tom and Jerry sneak on to it. airplane like what the fuck you can just I listen everything is terrible about this I it is the regret of my life that we don't have security footage because I want nothing more right now in my life not oxygen not water not freedom than a cut of this with the Warner brothers orchestra I just going like bum bum bum bum bum Carl Staling's just playing behind I just realized something though the last time I was like oh man what movie would this be from where you're like and then I snuck onto a deco a plane.

Money plane. No, no, Den of Thieves. Commando. This is another 80s. This is another 80s. He's like, it's easy to get on and off a plane. I saw Arnold do it.

It's fine. Which is also, dude, that's completely in character. In 2017, when we were still at MTV, Ezekiel Quakey who wrote this very, very prescient piece about how he, Trump is literally living

in his own head, a vision of escape from New York, New York. Like the New York in his head is escaped from New York's New York. Yeah. And I think that that piece has only gotten, you know, more and more correct as the years have gone by. But I think that's probably the closest to the truth is that he saw this in a movie and thought it would be fine. Yeah. Like every 45 seconds in his head, there's like innocent old lady being menaced by four guys and fingerless gloves while holding a hammer on a bus somewhere in the Bronx, right?

To tie a little bit of a bow on this, however you feel. about perhaps it will happen today i submit that there is no more comical answer to that than it did happen today and that's because we forgot the president inside of an airport of an airplane dining cart so he's in there gorging on pies it just eventually passes out yeah and that's it um i would like to call an audible i think it's time to do an early podcast business i think this brings us naturally. You know what? Do you know how long we've been recorded?

Yes, 54 minutes. Okay, gosh. This is technically slightly early by our standards of the past year or so. Never told the show. Podcast business. What's that business? Podcast business. It's a business.

Podcast business stuck into a plane. We got into the catering cart and then they pushed us, then we suffocated in the hole. So we have a large. number of things to get to for business today. One that we must start with is, of course, patreon.com slash shutdownfulcast, where we have three new episodes, five total hours that have gone up within the past week.

After Dark is approaching soon. We did two different mailbag episodes, one of which I listened to, I listened to the non-college football one. Only some sort of sick fuck would listen to the college football one, but I listened to the non-college football one, and Spencer created a superhero team in which the only one with any mental health is squirrel girl, which I was just inspired by that

complete lack of mental health that you put together, Spencer. Ideal. Perfect. And also, my daughter came on to educate us about My Little Pony, and we did the college football comps for shit, my favorite cartoon as of like the two months ago when she started showing it to me. Yeah, patreon.com slash shutdown forecast after dark is coming up soon. next i'm going to go ahead and grab the mic here and say you need a college football preview you need turfmans that's right we made a college football preview at channel six the channel 16 got together and said you know what the people don't have a college football preview like they used to they

don't they don't people don't make these things anymore they make these root things these routine things. What we need is one, the Trulius Lucey, experience that all of you are going to live this fall on your butts on the couch, all right, in the trenches, in the tailgates, stuck on the interstate for three hours after a game, all right? Listening to a game, you don't even really care about falling asleep to some Pac-12 game where you were like, hey, those teams are in the pack-12 now. That's nuts. And why are they losing by 48? The good things. The good things about college football. In other words, the lived experience. That is what a preview should be. And that is what we made. The Turfman's College Football Almanac. If you go to Turfman Industries.com, you will be

directed to a website. It has a man with a pipe and a mustache wearing a suit. He wants you to buy the Turfman's College Football Almanac. All 100 pages of it. Is it all done by Spencer Hall and Holly Anderson. Hell no. We couldn't pull this off. No. Cast of thousands helped to pull us off. Some you know. Put a little asterisk bias. I'm careful not to oversell this because I had a couple people. I know I'm

cutting you off the middle of promo. I'm sorry. A couple people ask us about this because we're like we're doing this with our friends and they're like, oh, you have Bill C. Y'all got to tell you something. Bill has a real job. Yeah. I know. I'm sorry. Bill has a real job. Jason has a real job. People have asked Who's hey, why does everyone not in this?

Some of our friends have real jobs. Our friends who don't have real jobs helped us do this thing. Because every non-competes are a thing. We're very sorry. We would love to have Bill also. ESPN kind of frowns on him doing his patented giant preview stack for anybody else. Ryan and Godfrey don't have real jobs. So we had each of them do a little thing for it, which I really appreciate them joining up for.

But we're very sorry we don't have Bill C in there, but also that's like his own thing. And we're doing something very different. We would have kidnapped him if we could, but we're not that organized. Sorry to stop your role, Spencer. I just didn't want to be a couple of people yesterday were mad about Bill not being in this thing. And I was like, I would have to have him. He's got a real job. Yes, one where they like him to write for them.

Everybody who has a fake job got to do this. Listen, including us, the privilege that we have of the extremely silly and fun jobs we have. Listen, there's so many people involved in all of this that you're just, going to have to go buy it and look at it. But I can tell you we do have quality Ryan Nanny content in there if you would like it. We have Michael Felder. I did something very dangerous with Ryan and told him he could do whatever he wanted. Mm-hmm.

And he did. And he did something really cool. Yeah. We have a roundtable with Joel Anderson, Mike Golick, and Michael Felder that is going to be up on a look at this segue. On Channel 6, the newsletter that you can get twice a week that we put together. together and it's like the the flagship enterprise for this particular business of ours all of which is to say if you want the preview turfman industry dot com turfman it's 2498 which we priced because that is one penny less than Phil steel and we won't charge you for shipping also you

have to get it at turfman industries dot com because if you go to amazon there isn't a fake AI turfman preview yet there are fake Phil Steele's. Are there really? Yes, they are. He has found at least four. That sucks. Written by such of luminaries as Russell Brevetin and Gilgert Martwell. That's putting the steel and Phil Steele.

Gilgert. Yep. Phil is pissed. Imagine Phil Still kicking down your door with the shotgun being like, bitches. Phil Steele got robbed. I'm going to jam pack this shotgun in your gullet. Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to say something that maybe, Holly, I'll let you decide on the back end whether or not we cut this out. On college sports now, a podcast that Hartzla has done for, I don't know, the past 10 years or so, we always had Phil still on once a week. I don't know if they're still doing that or not. But Phil would come on, and it was usually late at night when we taped with Phil. It was our West Coast co-host. He's not great. It was like 9, 8 o'clock central time in Cleveland where he is. here's the thing though every time i would talk to him i would call or he would call in i'd be like

hey phil you blah blah he's like all right in the background there would always be like late 90s early 2000s new metal playing always why would we not want this in this show that's i don't know because it was in the privacy of his own office but not the last spot of my playlist so was phil's just out there rocking a fat lip it was always like some shit like that we're going like slip not like power. Yes. Like core. Yes.

And then there was even sometimes we're like, so it was kind of good. I was like, is this death tones? I wasn't quite sure. If it was good. I think Phil still might really listen to like heavy fucking music, which makes me think like, yeah,

you don't want to, you don't want to get caught by him with one of his fake magazines. Phil still broke my forearm in a knocked loose pit. Yeah. It's like that John Clayton's Sports Center. Yeah. It's, literally that.

I almost wonder if they got the idea from Phil Steele. I'm just picturing him typing like 400 pages of 6 point font in a slip knot mask. You know what? Now this makes sense. How else are you going to do it? Some may not believe me, but at Stephen Hartzell on Blue Sky, like he can confirm that this is a thing that happens. That's really good. Thank you so much for sharing this gift with us.

That's incredible. But yeah. Turfman, Turfman Industries.com, you can purchase the preview there. I'll tell you that we listen to corn and fat lip while we made it if that's what gets you to buy it. Don't lie. Don't lie. I'm not saying. No, you're lying.

But there is, if you want to know what we were listening to making this, just read on. There's a little something in there that is not in the table of contents that you might be able to find. Yeah. And headed in the season. Yeah. And headed in the season. Channel 6. Subscribe to our newsletter as well.

because holy shit, this thing's bearing down on us, and we are about to take your inbox to heaven. We've been talking for a long time, but also we got a lot going on this week. But thank you to those. We sold a thousand of these magazines in like 16 hours. 16 hours? Which is, we were hoping to sell a thousand of these things total.

And as usual, this community is showing up and showing out and letting us make good art that we want to. So we do have a great homefield now. Spencer, just keep talking about the Tennessee Polo because it's fucking. Homefieldapparel.com did it again, folks. Unfortunately, they made me say nice things. Usually in this part of the ad, we sort of just riff and ramble. We have ad copy this time.

We're supposed to make it our own. No, I am making it own by telling our listeners that we have ad copy. Oh, I was telling Spencer because I assume he didn't read the email. I'm bringing the listeners behind the veil to tell them that we have ad copy to read for you. And in future editions, we'll riff on this like always. but I'm going to read this, add copy as it was delivered, all right? Pagliacci, no! And that'll be the fun of it.

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to have a way to respond to spam texts on your phone and just tell them, hey, did you know that cutting infant nutrition is actually good? And you're right back, did you know that your soul

will boil in the pits of hell and that with offer code fullcast, you can get 20% off your first purchase at home field apparel? I'm assuming that's the deal again. I also don't have to be. the email in front of me. I'm part of the problem. Change up.

Folks, speaking of hell, the Vacation Global School podcast has a new episode in which my wife brought up Hill for once. It wasn't me. My wife, Emily, we were talking about the Book of Jonah, which is very funny, very good. We watched the Veggie Tales version. We watch the Odyssey version. She's read a couple of books that, like,

their general market novels that have a lot to do. Whalefall, they're making a movie of Whalefall. And she's the one who brought up Hill this time. And And yeah, we, this podcast that we started in 2020, we're on, like, a third of the way through the Bible at this point. But the Book of Jonah, one of the best, one of my favorites. It's super, super fucking short.

It's 1,200 words, and we spend an hour talking about it. And, yeah, if you haven't listened to this episode in a long time, I don't blame you because we've done two episodes in the past 24 months. But that's a lot to catch up on and refresh on. and if it feels like a weird time to publish something that's not about college football, we'll stay fucking tuned because football seasons is here, and that's when we'll, on the shutdown forecast, we'll talk about a lot of stuff that's not college football. And, you know, if your team is, once your team gets to the point where it's like, oh, my God, things aren't going the way I thought they would.

Oh, I don't like the journey I'm on. Well, you know who didn't? Jonah. So tap in because there's a lot to learn about going somewhere you don't want to go from that intent. I'll also tease you with this intentionally comedic story in the Bible. It is a story that completely knows how stupid you, an enlightened modern person, think it is. People have, it was, it has been a comedy for 3,000 years. Between this and the Odyssey.

Yeah. Between this and the Odyssey, it's the year of the terrible excuse, right? Hey, man, you ought to see the inside of this whale. It's the year for getting extremely lost while trying to cross the entire Mediterranean while God is pissed off at you for some bullshit you did. It was the first video game. You had to get, you know, you had to platform across the Mediterranean and lo, there were many hazards. If you need to catch up on most recent Vacation Bible School, I think isn't the most recent vacation Bible school still before this one, Spencer? The one before this was Spencer.

on the 42 Bears adventure. Yes. Best moment in the Bible. Then about 42 bears came out. Back to back, we got a whale eats a guy and 42 bears. Two bears eat 42 small guys. That's a strong run. Yeah.

Don't laugh at bald guys. Speaking of bald guys, hey, Stephen Godfrey, host a podcast with a nanny. Yeah, it's called Phantom Island. You can find it at Phantom Island. We're running short on time here because I know Holly has one more thing we want to promote here. So yeah, Stephen's not

bald? Not yet. Source? No. All right. You know what? Unanswered question. Stephen Godfrey

bald? Question mark? Let's see what AI. She's controversial. Mina Kimes, friend of the program, a long time supporter of the charity ball.

Hey, she does a lot of good charitable stuff herself. And one thing that you can do, we're going to drop a link to it. Mina is raising money for a dude in El Serrano in Southern

California, who is, little dude. Yeah. Cool high school senior, raising money so that he can attend the school he got into. It's Yale. I've heard it's good. This is rare Yale positive content opportunity here.

Absolutely Yale positive content, right? This guy is going to improve Yale with his presence. How about that? That's right. That's right. So we want to help that along. We're going to leave a link to that. Mina is raising money for Diego.

I encourage you. She's selling video messages. She told me that I don't think she would mind me telling this. that several, the note that I got, and I think I know how she meant this, was that several men have asked her to announce their pregnancies, which we're making all kinds of technological advances here. Yeah, so go ahead, hit the link, contribute. Let's send this kid to yell.

Spruce the place up a bit. Thus concludes, no. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. Sorry, jump the gun. It's my bad. Wow. I know.

Doing it wrong! if you do that again I'll shoot you I know and Serber I deserve it yeah that was so that was so rock and roll what server just said after everything he does every week to cut all the anti-Catholic

sentiments that you put in the show I know I would have been called killer ants it's got a Z at the end or it's Ed if you're in Canada Australia New Zealand or the UK we have an album out but yeah you've

should have probably listened to that by now if you haven't. In that case, if you listen to it and you didn't buy it, just go buy it on band camp so we can get some money so I can make this next album because we just did, we just demoed the 10th song for it. And so I've got all 10 song names here. So I'm going to create a little bit of Killer Ants lore and you'll see if these are the 10 songs that actually wind up on my next record or if something happens. And then you can wonder about the ones that didn't make it.

Is there a lost rarity album coming out? Who knows? I don't know. Help me help you. Class clown. Alien cookies. The liars who get ahead. Scrape Knees. Predict the Future. Atomic landsides. Good for Dopee. Our amazing party tricks. And you just laugh. Coming to a streaming service and maybe a vinyl or CD near you in early 2027. Sweet. That's it. That's all I got. Oh, we have a show to September 5th in Greensboro.

Oh, hell yes. Serbs ain't going to be with us and after dark for week one. But we'll forgive you just this once. I might like pop in though. Depends on how late the show is. Just calling from stage. Every show we play now is dudes like that dudes and, and lady dudes that are like in their 30s and 40s, le dudes who are in their 30s and 40s like me.

So like we try to get that shit done by like 10.30. But who knows what could happen. I just like, no one's trying to hang out. We know who's coming to our shows. We're not attracting the youth of America to come out to see our old asses play rock. music. It's all people who are

who also need to go home who have kids. Hey, there's always the children of people listening to this show right now in the car on the way to school. Yeah. Tell our friends about, tell your friends about our band and how cool it is. Spencer's in it. Holly's in it. Jason's in it. Ryan's in it. Don't ask what they play.

They're in the liner notes. No, wait, I want tambourine. Jason, what are you picking up? I mean, I have no instrument experience. So, yeah, we're definitely pivoting toward scene core Yeah, he's our screamer contributing yells of some sort

Ryan Melotica bitch That's what we fucking need it Only solos too I don't play along with everybody else It's just melodic solos Just like in real life Just me and Coltrane over here

That's right You can't hold me back I take giant steps on this motherfucker You can't add podcast business now I know you gotta go I play mouth trumpet at the band I like the get business in

early thing and it's also it's still at the end of the episode folks this was a short one we got more on Patreon listen there was there was a lot of Kirk Cousins' butt talk and this was a special circumstance what's happening in Coswell

nothing okay oh hey let's talk about the playoff committee met and did nothing Someone floated. Someone floated. We should do a 20 teamer because I saw a post on X.com about AKA nothing is happening. So cool. Hey, guess what? That's what the playoff committee does. They do nothing. They meet. They're like, I don't know. Probably not. We have 12. Should we do 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24? Like, one of those is the perfect number, I'm sure. We should start one of those. 15 and a half. Let's talk about that.

Wait, I've talked about that one before. We got to start one of those grifter blue sky accounts, this like all college football playoff committee and just posts. Yeah, I'm inside the shit. Just, you're saying. That just posts like, I'm inside the JW ballroom and Dallas. You're talking about sine wave as part of the playoff number. I'm in here listening to them say the thing you wanted them to be saying.

Can you believe that? You have to post this hashtag. They said, they said Notre Dame can never get in. That's what they said here in the department. Go big blue no matter who. Yep. They said Jim Delaney's not dead.

He's frozen. It will be very funny if out of nowhere, the college football playoff committee in the next eight hours is like, it's 24. Here it is. If they're like, if they're matching the Senate thing and they're like, it's 19.

19 is the one true college football number. It's genius. Honestly, that shit would be, if they did a stupid, I would respect the SEC is like all right hang on we hated the idea of 16 but 19 get your ass over that's fucking genius you can use this steely dan hey 19 is the theme song for the playoff show every fucking week so good everyone loves that song that we all know so everyone knows that song on this podcast a lot to love about that song yeah jason's right though

19 is good and I think like if if all it takes they sort of get these ideas rolling is somebody posted about it somewhere I bet we could get it I bet we could see this is a campaign. Street team, Fullcast Street team. Did you guys hear about the 19 team college football? We're going to post it on fucking blue sky. No.

And see it. Hey, this is how we get all the teams over here. Blue sky is one place the full cast exists. But what's the other place the forecast exists? I mean, well, LinkedIn.

So, what I learned from the college football 19. We make one last X.com posts, since that's apparently where the big brain thought leaders. That didn't work. The X.com post didn't go anywhere. I think if we make it on LinkedIn. It didn't work because 20 sucks.

19 is brilliant. Shadowband. Shadow band. Like, yeah, we'll just make one last ex post. All we got to do is like make confident assertions. Here, I'll do it right now. That's all they're fucking doing. The 19 team playoff is the only number that preserves the regular season.

That's it. I just said it. The 19 team bracket enhances access. That's right. Increases revenue. Yes. Regards competition. Yep.

Withholds problems. And. Specializes the game. Environment impacts. Yeah. And it stewards benefits. Yes. It journeys customers.

It competencies cores. Yes. That's right. Yeah. Just imagine. Guys, the village. The 19. The 19 team playoff contains only natural.

substances, no dyes, no allergens. I think you're really missing the point about the 19 team college football playoff, which is this is not just a quick win, okay? This is a hyper-local next generation, holistic logistics alignment, free me a quota touchpoint. I think it is both tech and culture, the intersection of those two things. And community, Jason. I would say that's the third thing. Tech culture and community. spoke of 19.

Together to build the 19 team playoff. When did you guys start wearing turtlenecks? When big data incentivizes you to move the needle about this, you just have to unpack the ping and drill down on your ecosystem bandwidth. I think if we're looking to both deconstruct and deploy, then the number that we're circling is 19 in terms of enhancing not only the regular season, walk with me here, also the preseason. 16, 20, 24, these are numbers that are cold. Suck ass, those numbers.

19 is bespoke. 19 is human. Bespoke is so important. Don't you want a college football playoff that's by humans for humans? That's why we need 19 teams in it. There's been much complaint about the buy system. Teams are, they're coming in cold and they're losing to inferior teams in the playoff. That doesn't happen in 19.

No. Because if you look at how we've looked at how we've. laid it out. We don't understand the diagram that we're showing you right now. Just look at it. You will see that every team gets fair equity as far as aggression and competitive regard are informed. The market has spoken and it has said 19. I hear it intoning loudly right now. I couldn't even say that better. Ryan, from a 38,000 foot view here, which is two times 19,000 feet. When you take a thousand and you divide that by a thousand, you get 19. But when you put all hands on deck here, in the back end, in the bandwidth,

look, I'm not trying to boil an ocean here, but when you want to get down to the brick and mortar business of the table, buy-in, buzzworthy, change agent circle back. I'm just reading words now. Farm to table. I'm just reading topic headings on LinkedIn. Okay, listen, if you sat through all this, we have a really important job for you now, because if we've learned anything from the discovery that flock cameras all contain multiple grams of harvestable gold and silver and sometimes zinc and cobalt, if we've learned anything, if we've learned anything from that, it's that we're not taking enough advantage of the fact that we live in post-truth society, and we're going to have to get our message out there.

If you're hearing this now, especially if you're a child, you're our street team, go to school, go to the barbershop, go to your third space that still exists. Sure. Go to YMCA basketball practice and say, have you heard about the 19-teen college football playoff? Post about it everywhere you can. Smoke while you were doing so. Somebody asked us the other day, is the full cast the internet's last pro-smoking podcast? We said, no, we're a pro-death podcast. That's not the same thing. But if you're listening, if you're hearing us right now, you know what's great about this? Do you know what the best part of all this is? Have you guys seen that there was a thread going around about this over the weekend about how everybody who's reporting on the college football playoff and is doing so credulously. Ryan, I'm assuming you've

heard an earful about this because Godfrey's really mad about it. We've gotten so lazy that everybody reporting, like straight up reporting from the college football playoff and doing so by just parroting talking points. It's not even changing the talking points. Like they're just repeating the same thing. And they're probably, those people are probably going to get what they want the college football playoff. So, you know, what's to stop us from employing the same strategy here? Always. have to do is repeat this over and over again. I think, uh, Claude, could you please summarize all this and paste it on Josh Pate's head? Thanks to Dan Marino's Coke butt. We got 19 point team playoff.

Well, I'll be a Josh Pate tramp stamp.