Shutdown Fullcast - #CHARITIBUNDIBOWL BONUS EPISODE feat. The Sklar Brothers

Episode Date: April 20, 2021

Michigan won the charity bowl, again, and Spencer and Holly bring Randy and Jason Sklar on to discuss important Wolverine matters. Because this is the Fullcast, this turns out to mean “the episode is mostly about Grey’s Anatomy.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're definitely not recording inside a moving van. Jason actually did one time when when Jason was at Indiana at his daughter's gymnastics tournament and he was recording in a van in a hailstorm. Yeah. God. Oh, come on people. I've been,

my daughter was into doing like competitive gymnastics. So I've been, are we in the show now? Are we doing it? Yeah, Serber. Are we starting? Randy,

this is Michael Cerber. He's our producer. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Michael. Hey, nice to meet you. We're good.

Are we going to. I'm going to get Michael server. I'm going to do this thing. is rarely called Michael. He's just Serber. He's a server, yeah. He's a server. Well, and on Serber's show,

there are two Michaels, neither of whom go by Michael. Wow. So if he, if he zings you with something, does he get to say you got served? You got served. Oh, we haven't done that.

That's a server. I'm sorry, there's a thing now. It's been a thing for a long time. I jumped all over that one. We've been calling him Serber, like the South Carolina mascot. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. I was. It was. We got things to get to. We got guests to get to. We got things to do. We don't want to waste time. We want to tell everybody who our guest are you. Who are you? Who are me? I'm Spencer Hall, and joining me, as always, it's Holly Anderson. As always, I'm a guest on this program. Oh, I'm sorry, a guest, a perennial week-to-week guest. We're all week-to-week, really, if you think about it. Our special guests this week, special charity bowl week, invitees guests. Michigan won.

We're recording this three days before the end of the charity bowl, but Michigan won. Michigan, we're already telling you. Michigan has a lead. Michigan is $40,000 ahead. I mean, in case, like, Michigan is the Milton Burrell of the Charity Bowl. They will only pull out enough to win the bet. And then, if necessary, we'll pull out the full member just to terrify you.

That's what they do. That's what they've done by Wednesday, joining us. This makes us Staller and Waldorf, which I like. That's true. We haven't gotten up from these chairs ever, bolted here. Yeah. We have Jason and Randy Sclar, the Sclar brothers, who, if you're not familiar with their work, frankly, you've been dead. okay or you're very young which makes me sad

but you don't do that to them no they're young people who know we're familiar we're familiar you know they're starting to play gray's anatomy again on Netflix and a new generation's getting into it so we're gonna have that a lot of kids who are like I know you guys did you guys know that doctors fuck

what was a brilliant Hollywood innovation to be like what if doctors hot doctors but hot doctors just love to get down in between diagnoses. Can we tell our Grey's Anatomy story? Please do. Being on the set. Yeah.

So we have a Shonda story because I have friends who've worked for her. No. No, but we have a great story about our dad who sadly is no longer with us. He had the best comment ever and we only understood that it was the best comment ever like much later. You guys were, you guys were conjoined twins on the show? Conjoined twins show who wanted to be separated because we were both in love with the same woman and we wanted to find out. who she loved more yeah so i mean that everything i love you grace right and so and so they i mean it was like okay this was the time when gray's anatomy was watched by 25 million people and they

couldn't give you the actual script because they were fearful that people who auditioned and didn't get the part would then reveal the script out to the public and the week before we went on there isaiah washington made those homophobic remarks oh god that's right so that was like tense when we walk on there and the director is this really cool dude who did who who who had just directed that episode of the wire in the school season where the sorry spoiler alert on the wire uh where the kids throat gets slashed i mean it was he he just he had just directed like high art unbelievable one of the best shows ever and he's directing this show and randy and i are in this stupid like conjoined twins you know prosthetic was that latex okay yeah i have questions

Yeah, can I? Costuming questions. Well, we'll tell you that. I don't want to interrupt the flow. We'll get to those. So, well, we had to have a prosthetic made, and Randy, they've just picked me for some reason to have this prosthetic made, which means we go to this house that, this place that is doing this prosthetic and it's, you know, top of the line prosthesis in, in L.A. and in Hollywood.

These guys are the best of the best. It's like big time. Not Tony Baker. Jim. Jim Baker. Jim and Tamick. Faye Baker. No, I can't remember. It was whoever Baker. Wait, was it Rick, Rick Baker?

Thank you. Was it actually Rick Baker? It was his studio. Like his thing? No, no, no. That's like American Werewolf in London. Yeah. Yes. Rick Baker. I don't know why I said. Yeah, Tony Baker's a friend of ours who's a comic, but whatever. Then and so like Baker prosthetics would be a different kind of

amazing. Do you know how she puts those eyelashes on? Okay. So we are, we go in there and this was 2006, we're from St. Louis. The Cardinals were in the World Series, and we're watching the World Series game while they're building this prosthetic.

We forced them to turn on the TV and put it on. And it was like 2008. This was the game that we won, right? Wasn't it? Yeah, that was the series we won. Yep. Yeah. But that was like the game that won it all.

I don't know why we're doing it at this point. But Jay had to get in this, what was it? They poured the thing in you. They had to like rub all this like stuff. Adhesive stuff. And what they didn't tell you until after was on. on my body is, they're like, oh, yeah, this is going to rip all the hair off your body. But just in the areas where we have this.

So basically, it looks like I dipped into like a bowl of acid, like up to just below my nipples. So I'm hair up top, no hair on my stomach and like anywhere else. It was so uncomfortable. I was frozen in this thing. He was literally crying tears of pain while the Cardinals were winning. Yeah. And they said, I don't, I guess we don't need to do it for you.

I was saying right now. basically the same size. We got it. And I'm like, what the, yeah, he was so mad. So, but here's the thing. This point has been sheep dipped. The cards had not concluded the game. They had not won while you were still in the suit, right? No, I had not. They had not won. Did you have the thought if I get out of this? I might break it. I might change it. Oh, my God. You know, I mean, we are too well. You know it's too well. When we were in Michigan during the Fab Five, like, our friend of ours in the first game of the tournament when we were down by 17 to UCLA and then came

all the way back and Jimmy King makes the final layup and they win. That's how old we are, that's all we are. But our friend of ours was cooking chicken at half time and he forgot about it and it burnt on grilling it. And it burnt into a black charred like piece of coal. So it became

our burnt offering in every game we forced him to go and buy chicken and cook it on the grill and it became our burnt offering to the basketball. God. So yes, we believe that if we did. So Dan it's like well in 2000 and in 11, we needed Jason to get into a prosthetic chess suit in order for us to win that game.

And then he didn't do it. To hit the, I know. And we'll see you tomorrow night. Anyway, it was just, it was crazy. So we get in the suit and Jay and I have to be like touching each other, which we don't really love to do. And they're like, just pretend like this is really uncomfortable for you. We're like, yeah, this is.

We're already uncomfortable. Acting. So they, so we go do the episode and it's watched by so many people. And our dad calls us after seeing it. like you guys should call shonda rhymes we're like okay yeah you mean we're just sure why would we just give her a ring call her and tell you want to go back on the show next week uh to have them sew you back up together we're like dad dad that is ridiculous and then we thought that is the most shot graze anatomy never like we probably still should call gray's anatomy

and yeah let's call shana rimes right now patrick dempsey this season they can yeah this could happen yeah he's mcdreamy we're mcjewy we're mcjewy we can do this. We can do this. I mean, they did the deer, right? They did the deer and the, the, uh, the cardiac paddles. Yeah. The deer and the, uh, the cardiac paddles is like a top five television moment of all

time for me. Like that getting us sewn up together could, could be another top five moment. We got to get back on that thing. What if it was two people who were not related? What if you, one of you wore a disguise and you guys were two people who were not related who wanted to be twins, who wanted to be conjoined for life? We're getting into Ryan Murphy territory there. Listen, Nicktuck Season 4

could have gone in a much different direction. Right. It's a different series at that point. It needs to be a spectrum where we've steered out of Shonda Rhimes and directly into Ryan Murphy. And I think that's where you get the twist on the twist. You take the off ramp into guy is murdered with Bill DeBare stuffing gun. Yeah.

Yeah. That's Ryan Murphy. That's classic. Because that was it. That was his kink. Yeah. That's what he loved. At least he went out doing something.

It was. Yes. It was. Yeah. Yes, he's so different now. What if build a bear was, just build a giant gay man. That would be a fantastic thing. It's just a different build a bear.

It's a different experience. And it's like you could honestly, why do they not have a giant build a bear at the Pride parade? I don't know. Just go. Please, we're giving you guys ideas. I am so glad this happens because one thing we like to do every full cast has come up with a new business model.

There you go. I've done. I just felt really bad for the like small gym. owner is like finally dude i got it's going to be like crossfit for fat guys yeah except we're going you know you're going to get buff and you're going to get like just enough cardio uh-huh uh-huh big shoulders so that you continue growing bigger than your belly right right right yeah what are you going to call it i'm going to call it build a bear and somebody had to break the news right like no oh jean you don't know you don't know what you just did you don't know what you still

or you have a different client base right yeah i'm saying like guys are really hanging out here very late. I mean, these workouts should only be like 14 minutes, but like, people are just hanging out. We had a thing on the full cast that is our portfolio challenge where we just chose mall stocks. We picked quarantine stocks.

Yeah, because it was around when GameStop was blowing up. And, you know, we thought, well, that's easy. Anyone can do that. We should take another mall stock and we should pick a portfolio. Who was with it? Tim World. I'm winning right now because I picked

I picked Ulta because I was like no one has worn no one has worn makeup in like years and years years and it had to be a store that you would find in a mall and I had Alta and like Bath and Body Works because of people need candles people need hand sanitizer Did you guys see the Scottsdale fight at the Bath and Body Works

because oh it's a good one Okay so this is we talked about this on our podcast Like what happened to the time and this was not that long ago when if someone two people wanted to fight and they're like you know they say something to someone or do something and they're like, let's fight. They're like, okay, meet me outside. Let's take this outside.

We take this outside. So even in the heat of battle, when you're about to throw down with someone, there is respect for the business that you're in. Look, let's, I'm going to kick your ass, but let's get out of this Waterford Crystal store first before we mess anything up. Not anymore. People are just like, it doesn't matter. When you see like people in aprons who are like giving out samples of like Huckleberry

hand sanitizer throwing elbows and get. in the pain and knocking people over. You know, like, we've come to the apocalypse. What is the worst store in the mall to fight in? Like, things remembered is up there. Way of Sonoma. Well, there's way too many shifts in there. Oh, that's knives.

That's bloody, quick. You don't want to get beaten with a mixer. Yeah, Spencer's gifts. Someone could take a stripper pull and turn that into a... Yeah, turn that into a huge weapon. What about, like, Brookstone? Like, because it's not a lot of weapons, but everything you break is expensive. Death by foot massage would not be good.

Yeah, I've got some kind of. move where I trap you on the firmest setting in the massage chair and you can't move. That's it. Then we're in like a bond gold finger situation. Your legs are trapped. Yes. But I'm so relaxed. Relaxed until you die.

By trapping me, you've set me free for stress. I think I'm winning in mall stocks right now, but then our co-host Ryan picked Build a Bear. Yeah. And you're thinking Build a Bear would go nowhere. And then two weeks after you picked it, apparently Bill the Bear just like doubled in value. You know what it did?

Because Build a Bear announced. animal crossing line. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was that. And now he's skunking all of us. Hilded bear always terrified me because the first thing you see when you walk in is the bin of empty teddy bear skins. And you can see their eyes and I never got past that. Do you all have a dead mall, like an undead, dead mall near you?

So, I mean, in St. Louis where we grew up, there's a dead mall. Isn't Chesterfield Mall a dead mall? It's pretty much a dead mall. Northwest Plaza was a dead mall. North West Plaza, which the center point of Northwest Plaza looks like. a building in Jerusalem. It looks like the shrine of the book. I'm like, why did you guys go out?

Why would you? What is, yeah, no, but it's, yeah, they're, the dead mall is crazy because the dead mall was where, when we were kids is where we hung out. That's, we're going to go to them all and hang out and do what young kids do. Well, we have a couple of dead malls and the options are, one, to start, uh, a go-kart track in there. That was one I, no, no, I'm taking them all over and turning them into a chain of Christian laser tag arenas.

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, Christian Lasertag. I love that. Because you have the church, you have the mega church that buys out, like that buys out an anchor tenant in the mall, and then you just play laser tag and the rest of it. But Gwinnett, Gwinnett Mall,

that and Gwinnett Place was used as the mall in Stranger Things season three. Yeah, season three. That's the mall they used, right? Like, part of the weirdness of Atlanta now is realizing that when you're watching something, you go, oh, wow, with a little bit of CGI, they turned Gwinnett Place Mall. Not a lot of CGI. No, well, not in that case, yeah.

It looks like a found object. No, I mean, the amount of demigorgans that hang out at the Gwinnat Mall is pretty high. Yeah, I could have told you that in 88, like that other two. Thank you. Same. That was the exact same. I wanted to ask a question. Sure.

How did y'all get to Michigan? Like, like, where does this happen? So we're St. Louis born and raised, huge, you know, like Midwest guys, we kind of grew up rooting for the Missouri Tigers, like back in the 80s. Tigers. It was great. Norm Stewart basketball teams. Lee Howard, Nathan Bunton, Doug Smith, when he transferred down from like he was up a Detroit player who was unbelievable. Those teams were incredible. Derek Chivas. They were number one for a while. We couldn't beat. Like we were up against like those Stacey King, Oklahoma teams. And like we couldn't. Danny Manning Kansas teams went to the big eight. So we kind of grew up on all of that. And then we liked Michigan. We always liked it was in Midwest school. We always liked Michigan. We always liked. It was in Midwest school. We always like Michigan. I loved Harbaugh in the middle, you know, the middle of the 80s when we were kids there. And Bo was really cool. And then a friend of ours older sister used to babysit for us.

She went to Michigan. And she was such a huge fan, came back talking about how great it was, that our cousin, who's a year ahead of us, she went. And we went with her to visit and saw this woman and kind of like went around campus and just thought, okay, this is an electric place. This is an amazing school. And then we said, okay, as we're thinking about where do we want to go to school? We applied there, Wisconsin, and Penn, and got in, got into all three, but went up to Michigan for a weekend and said, this is so much fun. It mixes everything we love.

Great academics, really good sports, really dynamic and cool people. We're like, we're home. We can't not go here. And it was just an easy flight from St. Louis. So it made sense. Yeah. Were you in that alternate world where you go to Wisconsin? What does that look like?

So had we chosen to go to Wisconsin when we did, we would have looked like we were profits. Because when we arrived, Barry Alvarez kind of started to take over. And by the time it was 94, you know, they beat us. So we were at Wisconsin in 1994. It might have been on mushrooms. I don't know. But I know that we couldn't get, we were either so messed up that we couldn't actually get to the game. But that was the game where a bunch of people got crushed in the front of the fence.

So like, it was crazy we were there. We had a lot of friends there at Wisconsin. It was so much fun. And now as adults, going back and performing Madison as one of the best comedy clubs in the country, comedy on State Street, you know, that's a great city. We filmed our Netflix special at the Majestic Theater there. So I love Madison as much as I love Ann Arbor.

It's just two wonderful great play. It would have been great. For us, it would have been a great choice because sports came along. There's been a lot to root for for that school in football and in basketball. And you think about the Kaminsky method when he took him there. And what was that, 2015, 2016.

And you just think about all the great Wisconsin running backs of all these years. So that would have been very cool. I have much love and respect for Madison. Would have been fun. We would have had, we would have partied a lot. We would not have had as much fun at Penn. I'll all like that. Yeah.

That always seems to be like when somebody's like, yeah, I went to Penn. The answer is always. overwhelming silence. Like, right? Jamil Swift, but to Penn. That's my only Penn person, which I guess answers your question.

That does. Yeah. Hi, we had friends there, too, and a couple of friends that played sports there, a couple of friends on the football team, and Penn was good in the Ivy League.

I guess it would have been fun, kind of in an Ivy League sort of way, but we went up there to visit one weekend and we're with some friends, and they just seemed so stressed out. Like, there was no fun. There was like a weird, competitive nature amongst everybody.

And they were college kids, but they just looked like they had too much on their plate. We're like, we're not ready for that right now. And I'm not going to lie. The sports, there just wasn't a sort of cohesive sports fallback that, you know, is part of college. Like when we thought of Ann Arbor and we thought of Michigan, like, there were chances you could win, see a Heisman trophy at your school. There were chances you could see a national championship at your school. And we saw a Heisman Trophy. We almost saw a national championship twice in the years that we were there.

Rose Bowl championships. I mean, that's so exciting and fun. And going to a hockey game is one of the greatest sports experiences ever. This is my favorite thing about Michigan and why I think Michigan and Alabama fans are actually not dissimilar

because the experience is this. The calendar is a 12-month calendar. And it's assumed. It's never like nobody's ever instructed, oh, well, now you're going to go and you're going to watch the baseball team, right? No, everyone at Michigan, like Brian Cook taught me this,

that everyone at Michigan goes, okay, cool, during football, have you warmed up? Are you up to basketball speed? Okay, cool. We got basketball going, okay, cool. Now, you're going to go to the hockey game, okay? You don't have to say that. It's just assumed. You're just pulled along.

Like, you have fluency in, like, no fewer than four different sports possibly. You can't leave out their baseball team or they will yell at us. The baseball team is great. And I'll say this, Jay and I were in Bloomington, Indiana, and we are just what, we're doing shows at a phenomenal club there right above the bishop. I don't know if you guys have ever been there to Bloomington. but if you get a chance you go, it's the comedy attic.

It's a phenomenal club. We're there. We're walking around downtown Bloomington, and we see a huge bus with a giant block M in the front of it. We're like, who is in town right now? Well, who's here? We start walking towards it.

Who walks out of the hotel that it's parked in front of? A Brady Hoke with a hot dog. No, Coach Hutchins, and who is like one of the greatest sports, you know, coaches in Michigan history. We had met her at a football game a while ago.

she's like, what are you guys doing here? We're like, what are you guys? Well, we know kind of what you're doing here. And she's like, big 10 tournament. You guys come to the games? We're like, yeah. She said, all right, get over here right now. We're like, okay, pulls us on the bus.

The whole team's on the bus. And then she says, like, the words that, like, comedians who aren't, like, super well-known comedians, like, we have our audience and we're cool with our audience. But, like, the words you never want to hear. Tell a joke. No. Hey, do you guys know who these two guys are? guys are and we're like oh no thankfully people said yes and we're like we're like you guys are the

you guys are going to do this today you guys are the best we believe in you we believe in everybody on this bus and there was like one male coach right over there we believe in everyone on this bus except for that guy get that guy to fuck out of here get him off this bus they started cracking up because of course you love to get that guy shit and we get off the bus and we go to every single We walk two miles all the way past Assembly Hall. Like we're walking down a highway to get there. We showed up at every game. And this is the coolest thing.

And this is what I love so much. So the women's sports is just such a joy to watch, especially on a high level, because they have fun. And they have fun. And they have fun. So like there, I saw a Michigan player in the field start dancing to a Nebraska player's walk-up music as she got to the plate. And I'm like, I freaking love these guys so much. So much came down to the field during the game, even though they all came over to the fence and

they high five to us and started high fiving us at the fence because they're like, you guys came. And then the best thing is so they won, so they win the tournament and they actually weren't expected to win, but they win the tournament. They'd be like a good Minnesota team in the finals. They beat like a great Wisconsin team or Ohio State team. So after the, afterwards they, she brings, touch brings 10 people to our show. show and she comes to our show and hey and like return the favor and I was like god damn it this is this is why you go to Michigan this is why you like it this is why we love sports because we're watching women's college softball and loving every minute of it this is I I put this out a lot

and it enrages and endears me to a lot of people on both sides but I have always held that Michigan and Tennessee are very similar and usually what I I mean is that we watch football games like this. Like just glaring arms crossed. Bill Self. It's Bill Self. If you wait, Bill Self said it.

I think it was while he was cheating. Bill Self said, if you win, it's a relief. If you lose, it's a catastrophe. Yeah. But the other thing,

but the other thing I mean is that women's sports is like part of the landscape. Like when I was growing up and you were going to the basketball game, you mean the women's basketball game. Like women's basketball is the default setting. because when I was in high school was when Pat Summitt and Candace Parker were on their championship run, right?

And you went through the same thing with, I'm sure, with like Florida softball. Oh, 100%. Yeah, Florida softball is still the best deal. They've got the best uniforms, period. And it is complete joy with none of the suffering of other sports. If Florida wins, it's like violent joy.

If they lose, something gets burned. Like it's just the only thing that unites Florida football fans is violence, right? Like I always felt that was a great thing about Michigan is that, you know, we did a show there and we did it at the library, which is the most. It was wonderful. The greatest full cast menu ever, right? Yeah, like the second greatest.

We did it in the basement of the downtown Ann Arbor Library. Oh, I love it. That's so cool. Yeah, no, it's, it is, it is a joy. And I mean, it just reminded us how much we just love sports. I mean, it's like pick a sport and we can get into it. I think it's from doing cheap seats and watching so many sports. and so many different sports,

I can be like, yeah, I'll watch juggling. I'll watch a, I'll watch a beard and mustache competition and start to get into it and be like, I don't like the way he grew. We'll find the athleticism. Yeah, like there'd be a guy with a checkmark, his beard in the shape of a check mark.

And of course, we would say, and on his tax return is a check mark in the single column. There's no one or man would ever put up with that, whatever put up with that, those shenanigans. Yeah, that is, But we came down there. Remember when we came down to the library basement, they had as the, our warm up was Michigan's college baseball game. And we were like, oh, we're in the wrong place. And I walked in there like, no, no, no, this is for you. Come in. We're like, okay, Michigan college baseball. Here we go. We walked in like 10 minutes later, we're naming, we're naming warships. Yeah, with a bunch of Michigan war dads.

Yeah, we did, we did World War II in football trivia and the basement of the Ann Arbor Library. I feel like that was some kind of initiation right into Michigan hood. You got the tattoos. You do have the tattoos to show it. Those were, I mean, that's so amazing. These were early years of the Charity Bowl prizes. We decided to stop letting him cover himself in Michigan tattoos

because it became clear no one was ever going to beat them. And so the Ann Arbor show was our reward for the 2019 Bowl. Well, last year we didn't get to give rewards to anyone, and this year, we'll see, but we're starting off with y'all. If Michigan wins, you have to pick one of your best fans and put a Michigan tattoo on that person. Let's say Godfrey. Oh, that'd be great. Yeah. It's ruin his journalistic integrity forever.

Yeah, yeah. Team logo on him. Thank you. But it all, Ole Miss, but in the block, Michigan, in the block, in font. Oh, my God. Oh, he'll hate it. Colors in mazes in maize and blue colors. Oh, my God, that'd be hilarious.

Godfrey, I know you're listening to this two weeks late. We've already made these plans. It's happening, bro. Done, done. I mean, y'all have watched, you know, via cheap seats, and I imagine because you're just addicts anyway, y'all have probably watched every single event that you could put on television at this point.

What haven't you actually gone to? Because, like, this is one of my favorite questions is, yeah. Okay, if I just gave you carte blanche and I said, where in the world do you want to go for a sporting event that you've heard is insane, or, or super intense or just something that you should see. What would you do? Where would you go?

So we've been to a lot. I mean, we've been to, we've been to the Indy 500, which was fascinating and awesome. We've been to some pretty big horse races as well. And, you know, we, and I would love to go to, I'd love to go to Wimbledon to see, like, and be at center court. I've been to Wimbledon, but I haven't watched a tennis match there.

And it just even being in there completely empty would be amazing. Part of me would love to go see like a final round of a major, tournament preferably in Europe to see like a British Open or something would look would be fantastic and cool uh but you know I mean prize fight always fun like as kids we watched Sugar Ray Leonard and uh Marvin Hagler may rest in peace may sugaray Leonard rest in peace he's not dead but I just wanted to get just a really good night's sleep it's important it's important but like those I would love to go to a prize fight because I feel like we've been to UFC before but I just feel like there's a there's a certain something that goes on in those things i don't know we just

jay is there anything you would want to go to that you feel like haven't seen yet we've talked about how we've been to a rose ball we have been to an nc w a tournament game um never been to a super bowl never been to a super bowl i don't know if i'd want to go if i want to go to a super bowl isn't that more fun to watch with your friends and kind of do it at like a house somewhere like who can afford to be at a super bowl it's well and the problem you have there is a problem run into at the title games nowadays, you know, now that there are places, and of course, the Rose Bowl will always be exception to this, because you can just stare at the mountains. But, you know, so many of these seats are corporate. The people, the fans who make these

games fun don't travel to these big games. Like, I have zero desire to go to a Super Bowl because it just sounds like a lot of standing in line. Yeah. Like so much standing in line. So much. So we have been to Super Bowl weekends and done stuff for ESPN and then not gone to the game. That's what I would do. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what we've done. So we've been on the field for media day. We've been kind of all-run derby on the field for a home-run derby. We've been into an all-star game.

We're in the field and trying to catch fly balls like from that. I mean, that was insane. Insane. Like, how much you can catch a fly ball? Like, I can do that. We play a high school day. It's pretty small. It's coming down. I got a, I got a glove. That's all there is to it, right?

Field in high school baseball and then all of a sudden, like, Pooholz hits one in it like, it hooks. Like, it's hooking. It's coming. at like 140 like then you start to understand like exit exit velocity oh no one's ever hit it like this at me before and uh it was it was pretty nuts but yeah we've gotten to do some very cool thing oh you know what i'd really love to go is to an english premier league soccer game i would love to go just love to go see like a chelsea liverpool game at stanford bridge would just be just and you by the way Chelsea may play liverpool in the champions league

which is fascinating and so like that would be something i'd love to or like an f a semi-final. You know, to me, what I love about something like the FA Cup is like I would love to see like an F-A-Cup game of a lower-tier team against the higher, like to go to it. So I read something that you wrote recently, Spencer, about how the win for a team that's expected to win will never be as high as the win for a team that has no business winning that game. Yeah.

And you almost feel sorry for like Alabama fan bases. And we can get into this when you come to on our. They'll tell you. They get bored. Yeah. I'll tell you themselves. It's boring. But when you're the team that isn't supposed to win that game,

when you're the team that has no business being in that game in that moment and you seize that moment, that like you said in the article, which I couldn't agree more, that high can fuel you for years. For years. I mean, you can't relate to this.

But those of us who haven't seen a championship in a it. We understand. I know. I always feel like when I explain my fandom, I always have to be like, listen, let me tell you about Satan and let me tell you about death cults. Let me tell you how awesome they are and how corrosive they are to the soul. Let me tell you how Urban

Meyer was my replacement father. Yeah. You know, like every superhero that's like if I stop taking this serum, I'll die. But until then, I'm an indestructible beast. That's Florida fandom, right? It's just be like, this is killing my soul and everything that I am, but I can't quit the violence. That's Florida

fandom in a whole because you go like who why are all these players they all come from like florida what parts of florida literally like tropical mad max just the worst the worst portions of this country that we have to offer that's where all of our people come from and then you're like you should go to michigan go to michigan go to hearty wholesome michigan go hey if you're going to be an cc fan you know why don't you go to someplace like alabama the disappointment really won't last for long That's right. Right. Yeah.

Go get that fandom. Don't get mine. Don't go, heaven forbid, don't go get an old miss. Telling somebody to be an old miss fan is like telling somebody to go start off on PCP. Like I'm thinking about getting into drugs. What should I do? You're like PCP. Not the heavy stuff.

You know, this fan is like someone saying, hey, your new favorite restaurant is Hardee's. No. It's only going to destroy you from the inside out. Kill you. I'm trying to imagine like logging on as an old miss. fan for the first time in 2021. Like adopting that now. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Because there are kids who are like, hey, I'm at school. Yeah. That's all about. And you're like, so I love a lot of hard things. Are you guys like this? Because I just love the notion of like, what is the school's relationship to the last time they were great? So like, are there old people in the stand saying like, I remember the Tennessee.

I remember when Peyton Manning was here. I remember when T. Martin was here. I remember, you know, like, I was in the stands in when this happened. And so I love that sort of like, because there were, you know, there's like Notre Dame basketball fans who remember Herring Goody. And, you know, like people who remember those teams who did X, Y, NZ, even loyal of Chicago can be like, we now have these teams that made it. And so for the next 20 years, they'll talk about the teams that happened in these last

And it's the specificity and the regionality of that that is what makes this my favorite sport. Agreed. Agreed. Yeah. And there's so many more, I think this is a wonky, this is a wonky theory that I have, but there are so much more opportunity for that specificity in football because the games happen outside. Yeah. Like one, one, I don't actually believe the basketball arenas are all that different.

No offense to all the hallowed basketball arenas out there. Oh, they are. But they're, I have to, I disagree with you. I mean, have you been, I just, you can control for, you can control for so many more variables there. Like, when you were exposed to, you know, have you been, have you been in Assembly Hall in, in Indiana? I have not. Oh, so we, we got to walk, we got to walk through Assembly Hall. The guy, when we ask it on the court. It's, it is, it's huge, okay? And it's just bizarre. It's like two, like, tall, like, really, there's nothing on the ends of the court so much, like, but it's like these two, it's almost like,

a parabola that's like going up around this. It reminds you of Seattle's football stadium, almost. And that it's engineered to be super, super loud. I can take that. Super loud. It's like old 70s red carpet on the wall. And you're like, what is this place? And it's so bizarre and it has so much history and the place is intimidating.

Like I even felt like we did a comedy show at Notre Dame and then what, how'd that go? Do they know what that is? No. Okay. They were great. They were great because they're smart kids there. And by the way, the campus was, we went around the campus and we're like, I understand why people who go here, come back and get married here.

I get it. There is like something so special to this place. And we went and watched a basketball game. With our buddy, Derek, so Derek May is a guy who we played basketball, pick up basketball out here with. And he's like, hey, I do a TV show and we'll talk during the halftime of the basketball game. When you finish your comedy show, come over to the high. So what do they call the hive?

I don't know what it's called. It's like it's almost like it's one of the old school bubbles, right? Right. It's like a small. So there's dome and it's tiny, tiny dome and there's only like one level of seats. There's not an upper deck. It's like everyone's on top of the action. And we were sitting in the press area and cheering and like four people.

And then people came over like you cannot, you cannot chair. You're sitting near press people. As a small child at Notre Dame Stadium when Tennessee had a series with them, I was told several times to sit down as a child. by Notre Dame ushers. No. Damn right. So I was at, in 1997, my girlfriend at the time,

her parents were the biggest Penn State fans on the planet. Like, here's how big Penn State fans they were. They looked the other way at Sandusky. Yeah, no, no, no. I mean, they didn't know, but they were just, I mean, it was. They had an idea. It was an incident. They did not have an idea.

I don't think they had an idea. Jesus Christ. don't think they had an idea but but no so they drove to the game and and it was so funny because my girlfriend at the time was like look this is a big deal like you have to be focused on the game and I was like wait are you telling me to be focused about a Michigan football game I'm like just for you saying that we're going to destroy you and so we get to the game and this is the game in 97 when Michigan wins the national championship and it's a white out it's at night I'm sitting four seats away from Franco Harris and Michigan it's the greasy year there

that crazy collision on the on the on the uh on a kickoff return that ended a guy's career on michigan and yeah that that was nuts and uh and then it was the game where woodson made a couple amazing catches and michigan's up 28 zip 28 i don't know who that guy is you don't know who chose what's and he and they win 20 they're up 28 nothing at half time it's silence silence silence in the bathroom at penns at beaver stadium i mean i was like and every time i I, like, shook my, I stood up and cheered after the first touchdown, and my girlfriend was like, don't. And I just shook my fist.

And she said, you're shaking the stands. I'm like, I'm not shaking the stands. So then we scored and we went up 20 on nothing. And I just silently said yes. You're vibrating. I said yes to myself. And she was like, keep it to yourself. And so then it was 28 nothing.

And I'm like, I'm sorry. I literally am just going to say, I'm sorry every time we score. Because I'm sorry, you have to watch this. And you didn't. didn't think I would take this seriously. It's going to be a long ride. Then you went to the bathroom and that kid was in the, this was quiet in the bathroom.

Did you just a child because this one has stories about this. I have watched this one yell at children. We could talk about that. No one yelled at the kid, but it was totally quiet like a hundred. You called that woman a Walmart person. The ship was an Alabama fan. Okay.

Okay, fine. Fair enough. Fair enough. We're in the bathroom. It's totally quiet. There's like 100 Penn State fans in this men's bathroom. It's like half time. And there's a little boy in the bathroom, in the toilet.

And he just goes, Daddy. And the whole play, no one is it. And he's like, I think I fell in the toilet. The place goes nuts. Everyone starts cracking up. I'm like, football doesn't matter that much. This is, okay. This is hilarious.

There's a kid in a toilet. But it's rare that you toilet, which is a metaphor for what's happening to Penn State right now. Look, go believe. Wait a second. Spencer, the kid that you yelled at. Was that a Michigan kid? Was that at the Florida Michigan Bowl game? This isn't going to air until most of the donations are in.

Yes, it was. Okay, please tell the story. Please tell the story. This is Lloyd Carr's last game. Tim Tebow, this is when Michigan, or which, which bowl game is it? I love it when you don't pretend to be nicer than everybody else. It's Harbaugh's first game. I love it when that shell cracks.

Yeah, there's a series. There's a series. It was actually Dan Mullins, like, first bowl game. A lot of people think that I'm the nice one because I'm the girl, and they don't know that that's actually really not true. And I didn't realize how irked I was by Florida. But in this case, I am the nice one. Because there were a series of tragic comical bowls against Michigan

where we would do things like end the game with Vernel Brown throwing a double reverse pass when Rex Grossman sitting right back there. Okay, that was funny. Waiting for a pass, right? Because Ron Zook figured he'd be brilliant. And that's the one thing Ron Zook should have never figured was to be brilliant. And then there's, you know, we lose to Harbaugh. There's a number in Carr's last game.

It's, it's, it's, I didn't realize how much it irked me. Which one was the one where you screamed at a child, though? You gator chomped a child. I just remembered this. It was the peach pole. And, oh, oh, in a, oh, I mean, we were like, we were like a good 30, we were a good feet apart. No, you were not.

This little kid was talking to me. And then, in his face. Gator chompton. Open child. I really wasn't. Piling a Jew. Why would, hey, man, kids got to grow up sometime. Okay.

I mean, I have had much worse experience. in your 40s when you did that. I was. Okay. So, um, and I did and I pointed to the scoreboard and I sat down. Now that wasn't the part that I'm, you know, I'm like, okay, so I gave her a child. And I thought, am I being true to myself and did I harm anybody? I'm like, no, I didn't harm the kid. And too, did I was I true to myself? And I'm like, I'm wearing a Florida gear. Yeah, this is exactly what this child should see out of us. Right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So that wasn't the part that I probably should have taken back. Now, some guy behind me and I look pretty much like I look now except more ragged like my beard's bigger and

stuff and this guy behind me goes oh yeah hey and in this real thick Michigan accent that I'm gonna butcher is like that's real nice taunting a kid there baba and I turned around and I swear he looked like the lead singer of my morning jacket so he looked around and by the way I'm with some in-laws and I'm with my wife I am embarrassing the shit out of them yeah and I turned around and I looked at it and I said hey my morning jacket why don't you come I come down and talk to me about it. And like, oh, God.

Oh, God. He shut the hell up. Like, to be fair, dude, shut the hell up. He was up. He was like, I'm amazed at the way he's talking. Nothing gets through to me. I'm like,

you think you can hurt me? I went to the, I went to, I watched Tennessee play Nebraska in the Nebraska section when I was like 15. Do you think you can hurt me? No. Nicest fans in football.

Fuck you. And that and that was when Nebraska, actually was decent and that's yeah they were they were decent enough that day um oh boy well listen it's like here our fandom for michigan is that we love this we love our team so much that you never want to watch a game with us we are the worst people ever to watch the game with because we're like viny testiverty's dad i can't watch the game i got to watch updates on my it's too stressful too stressful no i literally am like i so i have wished the worst things in the world on my own team.

Yeah. Coin flip goes the other way and I'm like, well, that's it. It's over. It's not our day. It's not our day. It's not your day. It's not your day.

It's not your day. You take the tiniest thing and extrapolate it out to the full thing. And then when you add to that a fumbled punt at the end of a game that should have ended a Michigan State game. When you add to that, a bad spot in Columbus where you should have won the game. I heard it was good. I heard the spot was good.

Was it not? Yeah. It depends what angle. If you're looking at the wrong angle, then it's good. If you're looking at the wrong angle, If you're looking at the correct angle, then it was a angle. It's totally good. Michigan is currently out donating Ohio State by like $35,000.

And Ohio State is out noting donating Nebraska, like five to one. Thanks for football. And on Scott Frost Day, no less. And on Scott Frost Day, no less. Well, that actually makes sense. We owe them reverse time. We do. Oh, yeah.

We've got to have you on ours. So, yeah. One quick question, though, to end this. And thank you so much for your time. I'm going to leave you with this question, which is more of a co-like a co-in than a question, which is this. If you were in Venice and it was a beautiful spring day in Venice and you were beholding the ocean and the glory of the city falling into the water and thinking about the passage of time and all things immemorial and Brady Hoke passed you dressed in an ascot, a beautiful silk shirt, in eating a hot dog with no explanation. Would that be the most thrilling moment of your life?

Would you push him in a while passing? Wait, are you saying Venice, Italy or Venice, California? Venice, Italy. Venice, Florida. I would jump up on a bridge, grab a gondolier's pole, and just beat him silly. I would beat every hot dog out of his mouth and say, how dare you might be doing it. I'd be like, this Venice. Let's finish.

Let me finish a hot dog. Arifertchi. Mm-hmm. We need Ryan's Brady Hoke for this. Ryan does one of those Brady Hook voices where it sounds nothing like him. But now it's the only thing that sounds correct because it's how Brady Hook should sound. Exactly. It's the sound of his soul.

All right. I'm going to let you guys. Thank you so much. This is fun. Let's do it again. Thank you. Please promote our podcast. I guess.

Yeah. Yeah. Where can we find you famous is? Oh, you guys can find. Go ahead, Jay. I think your fans would dig our podcast view from the Cheapsets. It's sports every week. it's our take on sports.

I'm on it. Nicole Auerbach's been on it recently. Don't let that stop you. Yeah, no, that should be the whole. Don't let either of us deter you. I'm about to be on it. Spencer's about to be on it. You might let that stop you.

I mean, we look at people who know what they're talking about so we can take the deep dive into sports, comedians who are funny and have a deep appreciation for sports. And then specific people in the areas of what is hit, what is like going on right now. It's Adam Rank, then it's the NFL. If it's, you know, Jayon, right. Matt Weiner for talking about. the NBA. It's a really fun podcast and it goes hand in hand with what you guys do. So I think your fans would dig it. Appreciate you guys. Thanks for that. And it's come on. Yeah, I love what you guys do.

Keep doing it. I love it. I'm a consumer. I will say one last thing for the full cast audience, which is that much in the same way that most of our audience doesn't, not most of our audience, it's a big part of our audience, doesn't like football avidly, but they love our show. If you think that comedians are not your thing just in general, comedy's not really my thing in general as a genre, I love you guys a sports show because, again, it's like funny people talking about something. Right. Like, it's the, I like it because it's not just like, like, stand up in general is not my thing unless I like know the people.

Right. Also, no matter who is on this show, I tend to enjoy it. Also, celebrate the Sklar Brothers entire catalog, cheap seats and everything because. They have been entertaining mass. It's college. Yes. And also this, both of you genuinely love the world's strongest man competition. You don't.

You might mock it, but you're laughing with it, not at it. I mean, we are all one hernia away from being Magnus for Magnuson. I'll just say that. Throw the keg over the wall.