Shutdown Fullcast - College Football Playoff Comedown feat. KIRBY THE DECEIVER

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

SHOW NOTES Surber has prepared something Spencer reads TexAgs aloud, as a treat Movie night with the Dawgs Jason has solved the Stetson thing Ryan has a reminder for Georgia Selecting teams to Not Believe In for the 2023 season Right, the title game There's actually a shocking amount of football talk in here, by our standards A journey through Texas Street Fight Law brings forth a number of new law enforcement theories VIBES TOUR OF AMERICAN FOOTBALL INSTITUTIONS Which school will serve as 2023’s Secular Auburn? Which type of burning car is Oklahoma and which type is Oklahoma State? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I did have something prepared for y'all before we get started. Because we sure don't. Yeah, what are y'all want to talk about? Hang on, I wrote this down. I just want to read it. Yo ass is prepared for this shit for fucking 365 days. I think about them fuckers in that locker room. Think about getting our opportunity.

All the shit you went through this week to get ready for this podcast. Now is when you pay the fucking price. You go out there with energy, enthusiasm. Hey, guys, ain't nobody on this Zoom should be cautious. Ain't nobody in this zoo should be nervous about shit Go out there and fuck their ass up Don't think about cold opens Don't think about shit

You think about knocking the shit out of them Do you hear what Alex said on Monday? Well I sat in that fucking thread I wanted to go fucking record right then Tore your shit up out here Two years ago Fucked your shit up God damn pride and joy tells me

You fuck these guys up You go and podcast the right way You blog the right way You knock their ass off You stay off the fucking ground You retweet the fucking TikToks The shit's easy. Look at the right shit.

Punish your ass on Twitter and kick their ass on TikTok. It's about who the fuck we are. I believe in you. Woo! Let's go! Yeah! I'm stuck all the way back on Couches. Here's the thing.

My God. I was positive that's what Cerber was about to do before he did it. And I still absolutely loved it. Not even a little. Not even a little. Still popped. It's a contract year for me, so. Let's win it for server

These are the latest Tex-Ags political forums Okay I'm only going to share with you the cream of the crop With 185 replies The most active current one is Can you shoot someone while they're holding up a store you're at? I like that someone is lying down on the floor

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Oh no. They're coming for your gas appliances next. That one's real. Propane and propane accessories. Not on my watch. Talk about a hill to die on Hank, that's how they get you This is the most

This is the most fucking Dale grivel-ass fan base alive That makes them sound charming So they're coming to Tyke A plot Bill Bill, let's see Bill we might go Houston Yeah

Bobert gives me hope. No, God. That's not what you mean. That's not what that word means. Yeah, she basically finished seven and six in her election. I do like TCU as Boomhauer. Everyone likes them. Rogan and Weinstein, COVID deep dive.

Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. It was Bobby Rice. yes i'll be over here there's a eating shaking fingers ate and chicken have you read that fuck

yeah okay I got I got two more for you okay so Lou Ann might be like UT Austin right like learning like socialism and shit yeah Where did all the anti-religious pot-bangers go? Pot-bankers? What's a...

Yeah? Where did all the anti-religious pot-bangers go? I have a comment and a question. Bible thumpers versus potter-bangers is what they're imagining. Yeah. Maybe I can only convey. I can't explain. You are but a vessel.

You're just the vessel. Yeah. But you're about the pot- pot. Yeah. I have these brain worms in a jar. I'm not putting them in my hand, is what I'm saying. Was that a topic on the thread? That was a topic. That was a fucking topic. Are these safe to can? If y'all have never been on canning Reddit, by the way, this is absolutely what it's like. John Redcorn could be U-Tep, just out there. Out there being sexy. Last comment. Last comment four days ago, quite active with 71 comments.

Better than a million. Prince Harry needs attention again. What? Yes. Yes. Oh, thank God the royalist faction of Texas A&M is here. And my final one, my final one is the thing that disturbs me about Matt Gates. Just the one?

Just one? Is Conn, Texas, looking down on all the people? pores? Yes. Yep, that tracks. Who's Peggy? Oh, Peggy's Texas Tech. Texas Tech because of the Spanish.

Tortilla. 100% Miambo. Who's cotton? Baylor. It was right there. It was obvious. Thank you.

I think we should give the bear more, Dr. Pepper. The next time that they lose. Texas took my shims! The school with the most people where you have to say, like, please, God, don't put a mic in his face. The next time they lose, that's all I'm going to hear. Tell you, I took my chance. Can I offer a moment of congratulations,

of genuine congratulations to Stetson Bennett for one thing? We got a 9 a.m. Pacific Time announcement that he would not be appearing at the morning after press conference. Good for you, man. You owe us nothing. Yeah. That's like when they have a class that has sessions after the final exam. And you're like, why would I go to that?

100%. I've never heard of this. Is that real? Sometimes you'll get like a weird class where like the way the final falls, there's still like a class or two after you've already taken the final, but before it's graded. Exactly. To hang out? Sort of.

Yeah. Yeah. Huh. I don't want to be an adult yet. I'm just going to hang out. Anyway, I don't care if he just wanted to like sleep in or if you wanted to go for a nice swim or if he wanted to like go find breakfast tacos somewhere. Good for you, young man. Just texted too drunk.

I mean, when you've been drunk on Good Morning America, I don't care what it is. You can't really like top that. So you might as well. I hope everything is fine and he's just like, eh, I don't feel like it. You shouldn't have to do anything you don't feel like today. His morning interview, I saw Wendy Medworth said. His morning interview, he just answered, I don't know to every question. No, that was last night.

That was on the field with Holly Rue. You see, Harba? It's not that hard. He was doing a great job of, like, actively taking it all in. You could just see on his face, like, just go away. So few people ever get to experience what I'm feeling right now, and I want to know every bit of that. He kind of, he was kind of doing a little bit of that. After the semi, after the semis, too, he was just kind of floating. I love that for him.

Is it, listen, there's a question that we're all skirting, and I, let's just put it right out there. Is it time to upgrade his future to a Buick? I think, you know, once you're a three star, you ride with the three star all the way, because, you know, you're loyal. How many stars are you suggesting Buick is? And because Kia, based right here, there's an assembly plant in West Point, Georgia. so okay yeah plus kia's

key is the tic-tok hotness right now because they didn't put they didn't put a proper like steering column lock on the car so apparently a ticot trend right now is you can you can hotwire a kia with a USB cord that's dope oh and stetson is also unsafe at most speeds so yeah for the for the freaking defense yeah no for yeah for every yeah for everyone around him, not for, not for him. Can't stop him running. Nope. That's right. Did you see you?

Sure. All right, I got an actual, I got an actual procedural question. I've been kicking around in my head. You remember, oh, I guess this was year before last at this point when we were, we were, I was screaming about schools that were just churning out lists and lists and lists of bad fifth-year quarterbacks. And at the time I was mad at Tennessee. And the two schools that I remember pairing with Tennessee

in terms of here are these programs with all the resources in the world who can't seem to turn up a good senior quarterback were Michigan and Georgia. And those two programs have really taken like similar but also very divergent paths since the, then and the only thing that I can think of that's a reasonable explanation for why you know I for why we continue to insist that Staten stuck up on us in plain sight is you know you hire Kirby to build an apparatus like Alabama's right and they don't they don't do everything

exactly like Alabama but it's pretty close and one of those key factors is every once in a while, usually until very crucial moments. I kind of forget that there's a Munkin over on Georgia's sideline because the personality of what Munkin does is so subsumed by the Kirby and

must champ of it all. And part of that is because, you know, they just don't, they don't do the very strict, but you know, Bama has this calendar, freshmen are never available to the media. Coordinators are available to the media twice a year. and George's schedule isn't quite that strict, but it's close. And I think at times in the past two years,

I've just kind of forgotten that must champ may, or that, same thing, that Kirby made what's probably as revolutionary a hire as Sabin hiring Kiffin. It just happened more quietly because of the personalities involved. Yeah, by the way, that's the guy who turned Brandon Whedon into a first round draft pick. I'm saying. Yeah, another.

by another geriatric college quarterback shouts out to Brandon Whedon who was Stetson Bennett before Stetson Bennett was Stetson Bennett I mean a Brown's first round quarterback

was Stetson Bennett the third then before that was some sort of alternate universe negative number Stets and Bennett but yeah I see the point regardless He's the raining Bennett

Then Stets and Bennett prime I think this Georgia offense kind of snuck through a lot of shit this year because they didn't, they don't have a front-facing personality because like whatever personality might have been, you know, ascribed to them via, you know, via having a monk and via having these giant tight-ins is overshadowed by just having, having a little old Kirby,

just sit in the top at all. There's another thing at work. Like he has a blunting effect over everything. There's another thing I love about what Todd Monkin did with that offense, which is this. A lot of stuff that they run and a lot of their concepts are, you know distinctly spread friendly they're very aggressive

they are very they have some there there is a little bit of like roots in the air raid there and some I say this with the most will must champ style disdain and my voice reserved for spread offenses a little bit of that look back bullshit

a little bit of that a little bit of that woke offence that they run you know they call it that you know that I keep saying that we're going to get emails and I'm joking but we're going to get emails But they do all that, but they do it out of a too tight set. So you can almost hear like the like interview. They're like, hey, one more thing. You're going to run all of that like, you know, that woman offense.

You're going to run that comedy offense. Tell them we ran that ironically. Yeah, you know, like Will Mustchamp sitting there going to go, you're going to make me run that. I said this in pre-show. Do you think they let Munkin sit at the same table with them, the rest of the coaches? Or do you think they make him like sit on the floor in the corner? Yeah.

You go sit over there a nerd. Yeah, you go sit at the point. A yard table. Bainbridge boys here. Bet you like points, huh? Yeah. But they run all that. They just do it out of two tights.

So it's not... Tites! Tites! Sorry. They do it out of two tights, and they do it with Brock Powers and Darnell, Washington. So it's not communist spread football undermining, right? Like when they run screens, it's to Brock Powers. It's not, you know, a perimeter screen that's two yards off yet.

It's not gay if you're throwing to the broad side of a barn. we run a masculine offense. It's a spread offense in disguise a lot of the time, y'all. I, listen, can we get some kind of war powers act to have Brock Bowers drafted? I don't know how old he is. He has to go.

I don't want to play him again. Too bad. I don't want to play him again. Did you see the schedule for next year, by the way? We have to play those fuckers in November. That's pretty rude. I don't want, I don't want. When would you prefer to play them?

In September, so we can just get it over with. Oh, okay. At the latest at the first week of October, this is messing with my bio rhythms, because I don't know how you prepare for playing a team that has a grain silo that can catch the football and run with it. She just went it out of the way. Yes. Welcome to the shutdown

You've been listening to the Shutdown Fullcast. You've been listening to the internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. joined as always by Jason Kirk, Brian Naney Hallanderson, and Michael Serber on the Ones and Two's Michael was also the one who provided us with that heater of an intro, completely original dialogue, not at all cribbed from anything recent or recorded in a locker room. Question.

What do you think Kirby watched to hype himself up and create that speech? What do you think he pastiched it? Like, not plagiarism. What are his inspo sources, right? What's on Kirby's vision board? Boondock Saints. Den of thieves. Like, do you think he has the...

It has to be something time appropriate for him, though, right? He's 47, so Braveheart is a great answer. Do you think he has the video, like Patriot games, right? Sure. Do you think he has the video assistants who come up with all of George's other hype videos? Do you think he has them make him like a personal hype reel, a pre-hype reel to turn around and get them hyped up? To hype the hype? Do you think he has to hide the tape of Boondock Saints

because he thinks it's Catholic? It's too Catholic. I mean, it is Catholic. I don't think he knows what Catholicism is. Yeah, I don't think. Yeah, he's from Bingbridge. He doesn't know what it is. He just thinks they're Irish.

He's like, I watch, snatch. I don't know what the hell they're saying, and that pisses me off. I don't know what they're saying about it. Not about what I thought it was going to be about. You mean the Brad Pitt portion? No, I mean all of it. All of it's unintelligible.

I like the part we said, do you like tags. I think he meant dogs. You know how teams have, you know these teams have these movie bonding nights and whatnot? Can we just imagine for one moment Kirby taking the team to see knives out or glass onion? Tar. Why that make James Bond sound like my nana? Yeah, tar would, tar would have been better.

You're right. That was also not about what I thought it was going to be about. this is what people want to hear in 2023 is like snatch references. That's right. Well, listen, we're trying to be

that's why we're out on that living right. What are we supposed to talk about today? I don't know. So I speaking of Stetson Bennett, I have been gifted a Stetson Bennett theory

earlier today. Past two years there's been its dissonance, right? Between we see, this guy's team winning we see him playing pretty well yeah he's had some bad games but who the fuck hasn't um and at the same time all of our brains are telling us no this player is bad um and there's been this tension in this battle the entire time and george's coaches at points agreed with the this player is bad side um and then you look up at the end of last year and like wait a second his numbers are pretty good right and then

this year uh yeah there was the uh treating the heisman race as a meme the entire time and then you look up the second half of the playoff semifinal. Like, what the fuck? He's awesome and always has been. And it's like this dawning realization of the last two or three games that like this entire tension was completely fucking fake the entire time. He was a walk on.

So we got gasoline to believing you never deserve scholarship. He was in various QB battles. So we believe that like, you know, those must have been real. And all this stuff. And like, I think what it all boils down to is a number and not the number IV at the end of his name, but the number 25. his age, which has meant the NFL doesn't treat him as a serious prospect.

And because of that, our entire fandom ecosystem that includes college fans, NFL fans, college media, NFL media, because of the NFL stance on him, it has filtered all the way throughout college fandom that we are supposed to not think of him as a prospect as well. It has taught us to let our eyes lie to us. He can run. He can throw fine. He's not the greatest thrower. He can throw fine. He doesn't make a lot of mistakes. good college football player but because the NFL is unlikely to want him because of his age we let that filter down to us if he was 19 you think the NFL wouldn't want him that's it

that's my entire theory i think that is go ahead i was just going to say that tracks because we are also as a college football collective unprepared to like we think of that as a one-way valve right we think about how the players that we cover go on to affect the NFL and the schemes that we love go on to matriculate upwards towards the NFL. We don't ever think about anything that happens to the NFL affecting us because timeline-wise, that's down the road, right? That's supposed to be a one-way street. And so we wouldn't be mentally prepared for a sentiment to double back like that. Yeah. And plus, we think of ourselves, we college football fandom. We think of ourselves as tastemakers

because, like, we have these players first and all that stuff. It's true. Yeah. Which, yeah, to a large extent, is very true. And often, you know, often, like, we I don't want to hear about the time you've been wrong. We pass that knowledge. We pass that knowledge along to NFL fans. That happens, yeah. And we have our

favorites. It's always a Josh Doxon. It's never a Josh Rosen. Yep. Yes. We are to credit for Russell Wilson's success, not to blame for Russell Wilson's failures. That part is true, though. Like, we didn't know Russell Wilson would be this weird. Like, if we If Russell Wilson had said all these things in college, we'd have been like, no, don't drop this.

No, no, no. To Ryan's point, seriously, every time I think of an example, I'm like, no, but we were right about it. For a while. Actually, you know what we can claim? We can claim Gino Smith. Yep, there you had it. Bam! By the way, long-term investment.

That's why you hold the box. Quarterback. Never doubted. Don't you. Diamond hands. Fucking. The ultimate time. Actually.

Don't you tell me a fucking thing about Genevalon. A handful of West Virginia. Coal, what does it become? Diamond hands. What we need to do. Anthracite hands. We just need to tweak it and say like, if we say someone is good, but they are drafted by a certain subset of teams, what we say doesn't matter. Like, you could be good and go to the Jets and it won't matter.

Like that's not us being wrong. They're going into a Schrodinger's box, right? Until you reach the Seahawks. The cat's just dead. The Cats just dead. How about this? We like this list of players if the Seahawks draft. them. Okay. The other, I like your NFL theory vis-a-vis Stents and Bennett. The other thing that I think

helped amplify that, which is super rare in college football, is that for a solid year, Georgia fans were also out on Stets and Bennett. They appreciated what was happening. But like, the consensus at the end of last year when they won the national title and beat Georgia was not, fuck yeah, Stets and Bennett, let's ride. It was like, well, that was good, but surely we won't try that again. We, there is something to listening to the fans of a program. It's like when your sister's husband goes to, goes back to business school at like age 40. Yeah. And you're like, okay. Yeah. Like, it's, it's one thing when, like, let's use Sean Clifford as an example. Penn State fans have been real cold on Sean Clifford for a lot of the season. But then,

he came out and had a good end of the season, really good Rose Bowl game, and they're at the point where they're sort of like, ah, yes, we appreciate what you have done, and we have some perspectives to look at it. Also, he's gone. He has gone. That always, yes, yes, yes. Which is the like, because Fia's coming back and be like, ah, this is fucking Sean Clifford. Yes. But like, most of them. Now we love him. Yeah. But like, they're great. They weren't necessarily categorically wrong about Sean Clifford for long stretches. I think it was more just like, well, giving the ball to Drew Allard does not seem like the move at this. point and just let Sean Clifford do it, take your two losses, enjoy it, like, whatever.

So I don't think fans are broadly wrong about this from like a season long perspective. We were very bad at saying like somebody sucks because they had one bad quarter or one bad game or whatever. But like, we listen to you, Georgia fans. You said Stetson Bennett wasn't awesome for a long time. That's what we said it, motherfucker. That's what we said it. He's won hard.

That's why we can say it ain't want to hear. Yeah. And part of that is like Georgia fans looking up and thinking like, well, if we're this good with a no star quarterback, just imagine it's one of the five stars work. Yes. If Setson Bennett had lost this job in preseason, not that many Georgia fans would have been like, oh, this is not the right thing to do. This is a bad move. We got to go with the hottest hand. That's not where they were at. so it's it's it's it's numerous things numerous pieces of disinfo all collecting and colliding yes it's kind of the I'm going to put my theory up against this one also

we also like personally on this show we also don't really like to think of ourselves as being susceptible to being affected by George fans nobody nobody wants to think that it could happen to them and here's the third thing they're too powerful they have too much control of our brains they've got too much dog in them So, so Stetson made Jason money by going, by being a Heisman finalist.

At no point in this season, can I remember Georgia pushing for like, you know who should be in the conversation more? Stetson, like, they have decided to play the nobody believes in us and we are disrespected. Like, that's the vibe they're going for. Okay. Yeah. I see you hold. A Georgia player said last night.

they said we would go seven and five. Who said that? Nolan Smith was the one who said that. Now, I want to maintain the evil. It's not a good school, okay? Just let them have this. The conspiracy theory of all conspiracy theories. By the way, while someone in Georgia believing a fantasy world of their own making

and having real world consequences. Involving math, yeah. Let me put it this way. What would be the one reason that a Georgia fan would have to say, yeah, they don't believe What would be the one reason? What would be the one thing potentially holding up the Georgia juggernaut? A governor on their otherwise unlimited horsepower. A three star among the five stars, all right?

A tiny mascot of a player put in a critical offensive position amidst giants and greats. Who would that be? That's right. The Operation Mind Genius Brain Gorilla. Kirby Smart starting Sitsyn Bennett for not one

but two years just to have one single tangible point of evidence that they might be doubted and also

throwing a lad McConkey on occasion so that they can really all of this putting the law firm they didn't believe

an old man could throw to a child but he did the Bennett McConkey operation all of it was about being able to say

our team has a couple guys who look goofy and therefore nobody believes in us. Stars don't matter here at Georgia. Except for our 100,000, five stars. Except for 19 of the 22 positions on the field. 20, 20 of the 22 positions on the field. Tell me that doesn't, tell me that doesn't matter when your quarterback looks like a make-a-wish kid standing behind his offensive line. Like, oh, look, they let this sickly orphan come out and play behind this team. At times, in the words of Holly, he really did resemble the upworthy-ass quarterback.

He's an up-worthy-ass quarterback. He's like the inspirational story that when you, the longer you think about it, the worse you feel. But that's what we get for our, for being looking ass with our looking eyes. He was a great college quarterback. He just never looked like it walking out there. Now, there are two, I look this up, there are two SEC teams that Stets and Bennett never beat. Do you know who they are? Oh, no.

Go on. Did they play A&M? They did not. That's one of them. Whoop! Scared? The other one, who they also didn't play, is Old Miss. Also scared.

So, greatest college football quarterback of all time, greatest in Georgia history? I don't know. A&M was pretty bad this year. Didn't beat him. Couldn't beat him. I'd run it back one more here. What do you think? Do you get that doctorate?

Dr. Stetson been at the fourth? Let's do it. I didn't watch the video. Was Kirby paraphrasing, or did he really tell his crying son not to ruin the moment in the locker room? I didn't watch it either. He told him not to ruin the moment because Stetsa bet it was 25 and he had to go. That part was funny, but the first part I love is that before he finds out why his son is

crying, he says, why are you ruining the moment? Well, Mustamp pops out from behind his shoulder with his tankard of ale. Yes, stop crying. This is not a decision we made, I don't think, but I would like to pause here. TCU, I just don't think we're going to talk about you on this episode at all. And I think that's, like, a kindness we are extending. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's the nicest thing we can do. We're not going to look at you. We love you. If you were Ohio State, this episode would be about you. Yeah. But it's a lot like talking about a dead friend who died in horrible circumstances. And you go, hey, remember old, old Frank.

Old Frank was so funny. And in the back of your heads, you're all thinking, died in a wood chipper, died at a wood chipper, fell in a wood chipper. Train Wayne. This is Train Wayne. I'm glad. I'm glad Jason brought up. Ohio State because in a fucked up very very sad way I think they are the most upset fan base yeah from last night no yeah I mean they granted they always are but sure yeah they were

one play away from what in hindsight would have been a well an easy national title sorry to say it yeah because for whom yeah Michigan TCU Michigan uh Michigan lost TCU yeah Michigan played real fucking dumb. They did. And still could have won the game. Yeah. Michigan beat Ohio State all grant, but Michigan played like absolutely it's against TCU.

Ohio State is basically super TCU. That's the way I view it. So when two very similar things play, the better one's going to win. This is really Max Dug and C.J. Stroud, I think, are not that similar, but that's okay. There's two players. There's more. There's other ones. That's fair.

It sucks. It sucks watching somebody's athletic potential max out in real time. Yes. When you look at somebody, they go, aha, making a play. Ooh. Todging a bullet. No. Breaking the law.

Breaking the law. Yeah. I see some daylight. No, I don't. That's not daylight. It's like getting dusted at the Olympics in the 100 meter dash. It's like, man, that sucks. Like, you're still really fast, and you're still at the Olympics, and that rules.

And most people don't get to do that. And you should be proud of it. See, we said to talk about TCU and now we're talking about TCU. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. We're talking about the Fiesta Bowl champs is who we're talking about. That's right. That's right.

That's right. And about Ohio State, a team whose grievances definitely. A team that won nothing. I would like to give TCU credit briefly for one other thing. I think it was very smart to not lose by a score that could be referenced on a clock. Nobody says it's 65 to 7. Like, that's not a time that you can reference, you know? So good job.

If you're going to lose, make it so that somebody can't be like, look what time it is. Nope. It doesn't make me sense. That's not the same. That's not the same. I do love that the entire nobody believes in us thing. Other than I think Spencer's on to something with the intentional work,

Sciop. With the preseason rankings, George is showing up at number three after losing, I think, 30 total players is like, what an egregious offense. That's what they carried with them for months and months. after like, you lost 30 players. You lost a round of the NFL draft. Also, by the way, this is when we actually, in this off-season, we're going to write letters, we'll take pictures of them,

to the University of Georgia football facilities. And what we're going to say is, I believe that you can win again. That's what we're going to say, just so that we're on record as saying, we think it's possible, you can't possibly cite us as evidence. This year, they're definitely going to start number one. yeah so it'll be interesting to see how they like this this was when sabin was at his true his true master genius right like when he like manufactured like they're saying washington's going to beat us bulletin board material nobody on earth thinks washington is

going to beat you but he's somehow my players believing it this is when kirby puts that to the test dabbo is obviously the master of nobody believes everybody's talking bad about us and nobody i'm not sure can kirby's feet move that fast right like to we're about to find out I don't know. Dabo does, Davo is not wrong. Davo tends to exaggerate it. Here are two columnists who said,

I don't know, Clemson might not be. Well, he's right now. He was just late. I do not believe in Clemson at the time. That's true. He was just, never wrong, just early.

It's just, to talk about this from a bit of a metaphictive perspective, oh, Lord. Part of, well, part of, like, previewing a college football season

is trying to game out interesting possibilities. Like, when we talked about the Oregon Georgia game, we were like, well, okay, Dan Lannning is over here, and he obviously has spent time in George. And, you know, Bo Nix is a chaos agent. And you do these things, not necessarily because you're like, this is the thing that I think is the most likely and most possible to happen, but because it is boring to just say, Georgia's going to win the national title, because they're the most talented, and they have the, they have 1,000 analysts on staff,

and they have the experience and blah like you can do that it's just extremely boring to imagine college football in particular from the path of least resistance but then that gets flipped into like well you didn't believe in us because you didn't say kick Kong was going to dominate and destroy everything well it's the same impulse that like if you're like do you think you could fight a wolf no you couldn't fight a wolf but it's more interesting to talk to somebody who thinks that they could yeah i apologize this is this is like if you have it like you have a rifle and you're trying to fight a wolf because Alabama did they had but but by the numbers they had a roster that was as talented arguably more they have all the same talent advantages they have a coach for more titles

like entering the season they're like you're saying it was unreasonable to expect Alabama to win a title no right and no one has to believe you know but i just love that that is small enough of a slight to carry for months and months and months and months and and take about a poor TCU that someone thought Nick Sabin might win a national the preseason three we're talking about here right that's what Georgia was this year I believe

they were docked one spot for every 10 players they lost to the NFL right plus transfers they're out to get us they lost as many transfers as they did draft picks yeah someone at Ohio State thoroughly believes the NFL draft is a plot to weaken Ohio State

I guarantee you Oh we can find this Folks if you can find this message board send it to us They're just against us They're just totally against us With the victims again We're always the victims I mean I've seen Ohio State fans

Alleged the Walt Disney Corporation Is because it's based in Florida That's why ESPN is pro Alabama anti Ohio State So yeah they'll believe anything Yeah Remember it's all about It's all about my feelings

Meeting the world They really snatched that crown neatly from Florida State somewhere in the past decade. Oh, oh, I'd give it time. I think Florida State just sort of emerged for like six months. It was always Ohio State. I'd also give it time. I think we might be coming back, maybe.

Listen, I didn't think this is ever going to be possible, but I find myself looking back somewhat fondly upon the talking about the Noles era. I mean, Florida State is going to be top 10 in the preseason poll, possibly higher. depending on how some things shakeout? I am sort of interested in like a chemical, potential chemical fire kind of way of seeing what happens if those two narratives get to compete. Florida State is probably going to be...

Talk about the Noles versus talking about the bucks. I have a hard time. I have to... It won't be unanimous or anything, but at ACC Media Days, Florida State is probably going to be the trendy pick to win the conference, right? God, the 90s really are back.

Yeah, I think so. I wanted to get on the topic of getting people amped up, and having them believe that nobody believes on you yeah he believes on you i believe in florida state i want to get that out here right here 23 florida state i believe in i believe in i believe in i will send a letter on official full cast letterhead that i also believe in florida state you may not use it we should make ryan can we have letterhead yeah sure why not can we believe in let's let's let's let's let's pick all right let's pick let's each pick one team let's each pick one team not to believe in yeah USC one team one team

It was so quick. That was so quick. No, I'm wearing a Tulane hoodie. It's not personal. It's just business. USC, we don't believe in you. Holly, do you want to pick one? Notre Dame.

Oh, wow. After the transfer they got, okay. What transfer? Sam Hartman, I think Sam Hartman's going to be really good at Notre Dame. No, I mean, I don't believe in them. Like, I don't believe it exists. I've been there, but that doesn't mean anything. Right.

Sam Hartman has vanished from our plane. I deny its actual existence. Notre Dame denialist. Yeah. Sam Hartman has ended. Spencer, I'm sorry to take the anti-Catholic mantle from you. So the USC We don't believe in USC, and we don't believe Notre Dame exists.

Games not happen. I couldn't possibly care what happens. This game is being played on a green screen at Epcot. I'm going to go ahead and being the resident militant atheist and Anti-Catholic, of course. I'm going to go ahead and say Clemson. Clemson. I don't believe in a little old Clemson.

Just go ahead. Soak it up, Davo. I feel like I got to pick a big 10 team now, right? Mm-hmm. Oh, I don't believe in Michigan. There it is. Yo! Yo!

Come on, man. No, they are going to have any more. What about? Can you just manufacture a narrative for next year for us. Penn State's going to be really hyped. Oh, wait. Wait, I don't believe in Penn State. I'm changing mine.

You want to be crazy? Because I've never been to Penn State. I can't prove it exists. I've never seen it. Like, if we make it, it has to be a preseason top 10 team. Penn State would get you there Okay I'm honestly not sure

I um Can I say So one of y'all ought to take Alabama Which was ranked above Tennessee And last night's final AP poll Hmm But I know that I haven't really grown as a person Because I went to tweet some shit at the account

Knowing full well That's just gonna rain down on Ralph Russo A lovely man who I don't want to rain down on It's not this fault And also when you say you don't believe in Alabama you join a lineage that you may not necessarily want to join up in. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't believe in Penn State. Right. Okay. I'm comfortable there. Penn State, USC, Clemson. You know, LSU is an option. LSU is going to be top ten. Yeah.

Okay. I'll take, that's fine. I like, yeah, I like our LSU friends, but yeah, I don't believe in LSU. How hard is it, by the way, to get a bunch of 18 and 22-year-olds pissed off? because we assumed that these... We love our LSU friends, but they've hallucinated before. Frequently. I don't think they're the ones voting them this high.

We, like, you just heard Kirby Smart on a pre-game locker room speech, two of which were recorded this year and got out publicly, and both of which sounded remarkably similar in terms of tone, profanity, and intensity. The message is always, is always, go fuck them up, they think you're bitches. Do you remember being 20? if somebody walked up to you and they were like,

hey, that guy thinks you're a bitch. That was news. Sure. You were like, who thinks I'm a bitch? Who said I'm whack? I'm going to play football against him. Now imagine if you're a football player

and Kirby Smart walks in it goes, they think you're bitches. You're looking for that anyway. And you're a punter and you're like, oh shit. I'm going for 55 yards of punt now. I'm going to be a shit out of this. I'm imagining Kirby a career day.

Georgia punted in the second half. I think their first. possession of the second half is very exciting yeah call time out to get the punter a rep just the same that was a 48 yard over that was a narrative that we did really did not get to see enough of last night Aussie punter duel yeah that was under that was underdone tisk georgia won that one too fuck how bad would it be if you are in the proverbial bar fight with football players in the classic jocks versus towny scenario in a campus bar and you turn around and you see the punter winding up to kick you in the nuts.

Like, just as, like, everyone else is swinging and fighting and tussling and doing the punter. If you're talking, like, the punter as we think of him. But, like, now it's like, oh, the punter, you mean the 33-year-old Aussie? The 33-year-old Aussie soccer player? I'm going to fucking drop. The one with a fully tattooed neck who's kind of jacked for a punter? Yeah. I am in fact talking about that because you go, well, I expected to get hit in the head

with a chair wielded by a burly 270-pound. defensive end. But instead, this 27-year-old former tattoo parlor worker from New South Wales is about to rupture my testicle with a perfectly executed punt. A former shark tattooer. Yes. Former shock therapist. He listens to sharks' problems.

It's an Aussie thing. Sharks don't have a lot of problems, but they are deeply felt. Yeah. Sharks never have the same problem twice. But that, man, that's got to suck immensely. because you go, I'm about to get beat up by the punter, and you're like, it's going to hurt more. You haven't been kicked really hard by somebody? Oh, my God.

It's the absolute worst. I think we're at that point in history where, like, all athletes are pretty much gods. That it doesn't, like, the positions don't matter anymore, you know, like getting your ass kicked by a kicker, a long snap or whatever. It's not the same thing as it would have been in, like, 1999 or something where you're like, oh, you're on the team for GPA purposes. Or even, like, 70s. NFL. The kicker is like, he weighs like 90 pounds and half of its beer gut. That's a pro athlete. He's he's he's 47 and his shirt doesn't fit very well. He's out here kicking. I don't know. I still think it would absolutely like if you got to pick somebody who it's like

actually an athlete who you don't want to get your ass beat by. All of them. How is this a hard choice? I'm not a strong person. I want to be clear. I'm not going to I enjoy the ass kicking more if I'm like, that's the starting middle linebacker. Fuck, yeah, he's fucking me up good. I got a real high center of gravity's problem. Maybe we establish a certain number of hit points that we have to lose in battle.

Okay, so I want to just lose them all at once. We're creating townies versus teams larping. Right. Sure. If I have 100 hit points, I'm confident any player on defense, any of the offensive linemen, honestly, anybody but the specialists can eliminate. it all at once, right?

Whereas the kicker, he might need a minute. Yeah, but the specialist... That's going to hurt more, though. Those repeated blows? I'd rather be taken down with one shot. I just want to get it over. Yeah. Yeah, the specialist, too, have something to prove.

That's the worst part. You know, that long snapper's going to put you in the cobra clutch and make you... Like, the one thing... Respect the nuances of my position. The one thing may be working in your favor. I'm highly valued in an NFL scenario. The one thing may be working in your favor. with the specialists, is they're like,

hey, I got an internship, I can't fuck up. I'm going to go with that bank. I can't be seen doing this. I'm not doing this shit. It's not called J.P. Morgan choke. If it's in finance. It should be, though. In finance, they're going to do that.

They're going to be like, listen, the bros in my internship, they're going to be so stoked about this. And we go to J.P. Morgan, they'll be like, you got in a bar fight. You're like, you fuck, yeah, bro. Oh, yeah. Private school kids probably do. We regard fighting as exotic, right?

Yeah. Or like, something their pets do. you touched him yes you punched him yes in public it happened i didn't know by the way that in texas you can just agree to have a fight with somebody as long as it's simple assault wait what what yeah like you can let's get some context in here so in texas if you are if you're in austin and you're on 6th street and you have beef with somebody in a bar and somebody says hey that guy said you're a bitch exactly if somebody said they said you were going seven and five like a municipal dualing code?

They were like, somebody said you were going seven and five and you were like, I heard that. We need to go fight. You can agree as long as it's just simple assault.

You can go out and you can have a tussle like on the street. And you can have a tussle what without legal consequences? Is a form of class? Spencer, an important background here,

according to whom can you do this? I don't know at what point It, I don't know at one point it goes into aggravated, and I think that's probably where this is a slippery slope. Repeat, the same question. According to whom can you do this? Hold on a second. I'm going to get you the source.

Hold on. Was this the guy who said, did you just decide this? So two guys came up to you. One of them said, I heard someone called you a bitch. The other one said, I heard you can go punch him. Okay. So I'm looking at the difference between. So, no, no, wait, wait, wait.

Go ahead, go ahead. All right. here we go according to penal code 22.06 if two parties in Texas agree to a physical fight then they are allowed to do it

they're allowed to get hands that's not it can't say that it can't say it can't possibly they are allowed to do it but like allowed allowed what so like if a cop rolls up on you fighting he can't stop you if you both turn and you're like it's cool

I think I think that's yes I think that is what Spencer is saying what? Now, the difference, here's the tricky point. Does this please sound off in the comments? So the difference between... This is from an art. This is from, I have the code open.

No. I cannot wait to read. Oh, I bet this is a law firm article. No, this is, this is KSat.com. Okay. This is, this is, they reached out to the San Antonio Police Department. And the San Antonio Police Department said, spokesperson for the department said,

mutual combat is just a fight. And during that fight, If someone introduces a weapon, that's when use of force laws enter in. Most of the time it's an argument that both parties agree to turn physical. KSat asked about the potential that two people consent to a fight. What constitutes an agreement or consent, though? And that one person, I'm not exactly sure. And that one person wants to press charges after, the San Antonio Police Department spokesperson said,

they're not able to do it. So if you consent to this and you get your ass whooped and you want to go cry to the refs, they're like, sorry. Next down. I mean, this is just codified fuck around and find out, right? Yeah. You will be shocked at the only other state where mutual combat is legal. Wisconsin. Wyoming.

Tennessee. No. Delaware. No. Rhode Island. Maine. No. The only other.

Maine would be funny. But you could. Alaska, because it brings people together. I have decided that it's, I've decided to fight and cuddle. If you can fight it. another person. You can fight them. Please bear hug me. It's so cold. I crave human

contact, even if it's a punch in the throat. Put me in the damn sharpshooter. I'm so lonely. There goes old Ted again. I'm warning you. He'll fight you just to get close to you and snuggle. It's how he shows love. It's how he shows love. It's awesome, honestly.

Awesome. He's a giver. What's the other state? Washington. Washington State. Yeah, that does. It's the only other state where mutual combat is totally legal. Now, if you, apparently, though, like, apparently it's very W-W-E and that they're like, if somebody introduces a chair or a table, they're like, oh, we got to arrest you. Ding, ding, ding, ding, no, no, no.

No contest. Hang on, question, question, question. Is there, are there semantic ways of skirting this by introducing like a little tyke's chair? Like, if I beat you over the head with a chair that's made of the same plastic that's used to make a wiffle ball bat. Mm-hmm. I think it has to be even softer than that. I think it has to be like, he attacked me with a rhythmic gymnastics ribbon or something. I was going to say, like, a jimbery trapezoid.

A pool noodle. I think any weapon is a weapon. Pool noodles is fucking hurt. Yeah, but it's hard to fuck somebody up with a pool noodle. Disagree. You think you could break somebody's leg with a pool noodle? You say that now. my citation in this is my brother played offensive line and was taller me by the time he was 12

okay you can really fuck someone up with a pool noodle okay how do you agree to this fight I think it's as simple like is it to be in writing or what no I am I am sure it's just like do you need a third party but like what constitutes verbal that's what I was asking earlier what constitutes consent and do you need witnesses do you want to go yeah that's it okay Okay. What if we disagree on whether I said, yeah. The framing here, you're thinking of the framing wrong. The framing here is all that the cops just don't want to do shit.

So as long as they can go walk away with like, yeah, we think they wanted to fight, they're good. They disagree on whether they wanted to fight. Isn't that it in and of itself a fight? Yes, that's right. I disagree that a cop approaching the scene wouldn't want to do shit. Well, so this gives the cop an option, right? There's two things cops love, being violent and being lazy. right? This gives them the option of which they want to choose. Also, the cops are not leaving. They're

going to watch and see who gets their ass beat. Yeah. And then arrest the loser. Like, I think what you... Okay, arresting the loser of a fight would be the actual funniest possible way of legislating these. Like making sure you really want to as loser gets arrested. Looks like God decided you're coming with me. Every cop at heart wants to be an MNA ref. And I think what mutual combat allows for them to live that dream. We're espousing. We're advancing a number of law enforcement theories. It's the noblest thing we've ever said about cops.

By the way, according to, yes, this is a law firm article, okay? But the law is not, of course. Okay. The law has a lot of wiggle to it. But though juries must be given instruction on consent, if the evidence calls for it, the true meaning of a combatant's words are a variable to be considered in a decision decided on a technicality. the court recognized that word's like,

go ahead, come on, slap me, and do it. We're not indicative of consent, but were, and I quote, a backhanded warning

of potentially dire consequences to the threatener, unquote, in those circumstances. I like my warning's front-handed. If you say slap me, and I slap you, I disagree with that reasoning.

I have a case study to read. I bet you do. Why do you have so much on this? In Miller v. State, the victim's son invited his father to, quote, come on, hit me, unquote. The son later explained to police that he was, quote, all jazzed up, unquote, and eager for a fight. What age was this person who said jazzed up? The victim then kicked and punched his father before his father punched his son. The appellate court took the provocations of the victim to be part of the calculus for determining.

mutuality. This sounds like one of those word problems where it turns out you're your own grandpa. Yes, yes. The doctor was a woman. This is Texas. I'm not sure that's possible.

Or legal. Is this still our national... Medicine Quinn. Why did you bring this up again? I don't know. I was just thinking about mutual combat, man. Thinking about somebody calling you a bitch. And I was like, you know it in an instance

where you think you are. Right. That's right, yeah. So in this instance, TCU, a team, in fact, from Texas, can now argue, we never said, come on, we never said, go ahead, Your Honor. And yet, they slapped us anyway. We cannot determine mutuality. We can determine that Georgia was. TCU didn't like start the year saying, like, we want to play Georgia?

Why'd they have to do it? That sucks. Nobody does. All they did was beat Michigan. This isn't a fair consequence for beating Michigan. We have to do that shit every year. Take it from us. You don't want it.

It's not fun, and it'll hurt the whole time. It's just not fair. It ain't Fenton. It ain't fit. Can we do a little tour of vibes to end the season here? Is everybody on the whole? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We did this at the beginning of the season, and I don't remember what we said, because an important part about doing the show is immediately forgetting everything that happens on it. But I'm curious, if you looked conference by conference and said, good vibes, bad vibes, like, let's start in the Big Ten. A very confusing place to judge any vibes right now.

But what is the program that is really cruising high right now? Ben State. Yeah, it's Ben State. Okay. Does that feel sustainable? No. Okay. Okay.

No, no, no, they will immediately fuck this up. Is this the, they're feeling really good? Is this the first year we didn't get even a whiff of James Franklin is being considered for any job? I don't remember. Well, hold that thought. The Cardinals job is open. I was going to see, let's see how soon the Michigan job opens up. Yeah.

Well, there I saw it. Oh, boy. I can't think of a worse matchup. No, me either. So the other one, the other one that I would throw out. I got a weird good vibes candidate. Okay. Illinois?

No, I think that's a great choice. Yeah? Like, the bowl game was kind of, eh, but it was in Illinois ways. We got to throw out that bowl game. That was a weird one. I would throw Wisconsin in this. Like, we said Wisconsin had good vibes for very different reasons at the start of the year. Getting great vibes off.

I mean, they'll be getting a great vibes bump off this hire. Yes. Are we, yeah, are we including hires and transfers? Much as we said, though. Shit, I thought we were creating. Am I walking right back into the trap by saying we're never, ever, ever grading hires again? But Luke fickle, but we're never, ever grading hires. But just from a vibes.

Just from a vibes basis, that's all. Specifically, specifically bringing in Phil Longo to coach the offense, like, what are we doing? We're going to try to score points? Yes, that's going to seem fun. And bringing in a quarterback, Tanner Mordecai, who is capable of scoring points. Also, whether it works or not, it sounds fun. It is, and it is the most like, oh, Wisconsin is doing some shit that Wisconsin has done in a long time. Wisconsin is usually happy to be like, does he look like he could be on a 90s ABC sitcom?

He's our coach. He's wearing a sweatshirt. Which, to be fair, like Luke Fickle has enough children to have a 90s ABC sitcom, so I guess this is still. Eight is enough. Yeah. Yes. And he looks like, like Eastern European hitman.

Okay. Yeah, he's jacked. The Steve Coogan biopic is going to be. Amazing. Worse vibes in the big time. Ooh, boy. To the extent anyone cares enough to vibe about Northwestern, I don't know how it could be any worse.

Okay. It's pretty bad. Because you're not getting rid of that coach. No. Michigan is at the top of what I think is going to be a pretty, significant plummet. Okay. And vibes.

And it pains me to say so as an alum. Okay. But currently not, like they did beat Ohio State. Currently fine, but about to plummet, is that what you're saying? Whose vibes are worse? They're doing the tick up on the roller coaster and they're kind of hanging up here. But the next thing that happens is, Nguyen.

Michigan State is in a really interesting vibes place right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because like, you know what, you know what Michigan State is in right now? those the water faucets where you have to turn the hot and the cold on from separate taps and you're touching the water you're like ow maybe does this hurt good yeah like it's kind of refreshing owl if it if it seriously doesn't work for another year that's going to turn very weird very unpleasant extremely funny though turn downright texas a and emmy

is how it's uh okay SEC best vibes Georgia obviously well other than other than Georgia who's got the best vibes right now Tennessee? We do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very positive vibes. I love it. Definitely. Yeah, yeah. I even like the only argument to the contrary would have been like, who knows if Joe Milton is good? And then he looked fucking great

against Clemson. I'm going to regret this here. I'm enjoying myself there, time stamp it. Worst vibes in the SEC. Other than anim? Sure. Do we have to exclude them for obvious clear front runner bad vibes? Yeah. In the same way that

In the same way that George is over here, we understand they have the best vibes as the two-time champion. You know who can turn that proud upside down? Georgia has such a low vibe ceiling, though, is the thing. Like, as a program, I don't feel like they have an extremely high capacity for-do. Do you follow George Foster on Twitter? Because that's not how he's actually. He's pretty happy. Yeah, worse non-A-N-M vibes.

Okay, yeah, because who can turn that frown upside down faster than Bobby Petrino? God. Ew. Yeah, worst vibes overall. Besides A&M, I have a choice. I think considering the very justifiable friction and division in the fan base and the state of the football team over the last however many games, Auburn, I don't know anyone who's happy at Auburn for a lot of reasons.

Is it bad that we didn't even think of Auburn for a minute? Yeah, I didn't even think of them. I think it's healthy. I think it's good that we didn't think about Auburn. That's the body protecting it. That's my body protecting itself. Yeah. There was, like, Ryan, you pose the question of who is going to be the random upset of Georgia next year. And I'm looking and I'm like, well, Auburn, I don't want to think

about Auburn. Really, I would just automatically say Auburn. Yes. But they are, I am removing them from my brain as like agent of fun. Yeah. It is the position of this show that we are going with South Carolina just so we don't have to think about Auburn. Yeah. South Carolina is Auburn for the time being.

Yeah. South Carolina is our chaos agent bandaid that we are plastering over the actual chaos. Thank you, Shane Beehler. I love secular Auburns. Concrete Auburn. Man, that's bad when you're, like, leading the league in bad vibes, you know, non-Texas A&M category, and you haven't coached a game yet. Because that was for a second, I was like, how are the vibes at Florida?

I'm like, well, they're not great, but they're not bad. Like, they're fine. Don't make this. Right. I was trying to get a base. No, it's fine. I'm calibrating, right? I can say the word Florida.

It's fine. But then I was like You know In order to get a base line But I was like where But I was like Well Billy's coached a year And you've seen some progress

Oh Billy huh My good friend Billy now Yeah I'm sorry My friend Mr. William Coach Coach It's Billy It's Billy now

Johnny Shakes I'm saving this audio For when they're three And three next season The Vives A The Vives will be bad The Vives will be real bad I will down there to bad

This is only funny because in the very late preseason, you were doing something I've never seen you do, which is you were like occasionally mentioning that you had read a recruiting story out of Florida and that it looked promising. Jade and Rashada hasn't enrolled yet, but I don't say that. Okay. All right. We have to go to another conference now because now you're making about Florida and Holly was right. But, yeah, Auburn, it's bad. Hasn't coach a game.

You can't let, you can't give him an inch on this shit. He'll just run. Best vibes in the Pac-12. Oh, God. Washington? Washington is a very good candidate. Oregon State is a really good candidate. Washington's strong, Oregon State is up there.

We definitely know their coach's name. Utah, obviously, is a very good candidate. Perennial high vibes floor there in Utah. I love USC winning the conference or the Heisman and like the division. And yet we look at them like, I don't really think they're happy. Like is Caleb, Caleb's done, right? Okay. USC knowing I have pressure.

Oh, wait, Caleb's back? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. We might have to reconsider USC. I would say next year's Washington team with Michael Pinnock's back and USC with Caleb Williams back could be really fucking awesome. Yes. The Pac-12, there is a chance that they're this year's Big 12.

Sure. I cannot, but to Cerber's point, I cannot remember ever happily looking forward to a Pac-12 title game before. But if it's those two and they're both still in this kind of shape, we're going. Utah and Oregon are going to fuck it up. Just looking at the computer Composite, in the top 15, you have five straight Utah, Washington, Oregon,

State, Oregon, U.S.C. all in the top 15. That's pretty good. I got your bad. I do like the PAC 12 as next year's as next year's surprisingly good watch as we have this year with the Big 12. I don't know anyone whose vibes are playing

higher in Colorado's. Correct, yes. I don't think Colorado is going to be amazingly good next year but the vibes are obviously much better i mean they might go from one of the worst power garbage teams ever to a bowl they might sure i have spencer who's got the worst bad vibes leader clubhouse no real contender stanford stanford it's they're the northwestern of the bay area it's like this is one where the ceiling and the floor are so like you tell you know can we consider a as as per our mandate uh i think arizona state made a really interesting hire Yeah.

Yeah, they're bringing in a lot of guys. We like that. They're pretty happy with that. I would throw UCLA into the worst vibes category. Would not Cal? No, they don't know. Can you sing in?

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. I'm not sure if I can sense vibrations one way or the other with UCLA or Cal. If TCU-wise, there's already too many vibrations. If TCU had won the national championship with Sunny Dikes, yes, the vibes at Cal would be absolutely. I like the case for UCLA because, like, there was a point in the season.

where we thought, like, oh, fuck, they might win the conference. And now, they're a pretty distant second tier or third tier behind, like, three to five. Yes. Legitimate top 20 type. And that bowl lost a pit, like, just a garbage way to end the season for them. And all of the problems with UCLA, like, don't seem to be getting significantly better. I think we're on, what is this? This is going to be year five or six for chip out there.

And it's like, I don't know. The vibes feel, I mean, yeah, Cal vibes are real bad. I think they're a distinguishable from Cal's where you just kind of go, I don't know, you guys want to feel the team next year? Yeah, yeah. UCLA was elite running the ball this. Yes. They are extremely good moving the ball on the ground.

But with that and DTR opening up the ground game for them, both of those things are gone. I have to put Cal below them because at least there's something to watch at UCLA. That might be some potential excitement. Cal didn't do anything. They're just a nerd. sure um some people might call that noble beat stanford though that's going i feel like cal's vibes are just sort of baseline just sort of like they're not not there's no fluctuation there's no anything at all if you have i mean if you have to segment it the pack 12 north vibes are

better than the pack 12 south vibes i think even though those divisions don't exist anymore i think that is largely true yeah because like even uh even wazoo right oh you know know what it is it's just that the california vibes are all bad all the non-california teams like there's enough of a vibe there where you can sort of be like okay something here all the california teams have shit vibes right now even USC who is like kind of back is like are you know well to like to like to miss out on a playoff spot in the way that they did missing 170 tackles against Utah, like, yeah, these are not, these are not, and then to lose Tulane, yeah, these are not, these are not the SEC team, yeah, correct, the SEC team. That is a big time loss to the SEC team.

USC, I think the thing for me is like you lost in a way that looks exactly like your head coach lost all the time for, for his entire career. So like, is your ceiling, Oklahoma, is it? Or are you Oklahoma slightly better recruiting? You know? Right. like okay um ac c best we saved we saved the best for last baby we got we got we got two more and we're going to do group of five acc best vibes fs you yeah yeah that's right real high duke duke duke has the best vibes dude's got incredible vibes man um i'm gonna i'm gonna put one up i'm gonna put one way up over the i'm gonna go with duke from the coastal but uh from the atlantic louville yes that's a great pick talk about an upward trend that has nothing to

do with games yet yes yes Louisville the vibes at Louisville are incredibly improved from where they were all year everything they wanted out of this season and didn't have to pay for it yeah I might the problem is they have a basketball team still well yeah that is a problem um yeah I think it's I think it is Florida state especially with like the number of transfers they've gotten the number of people who have said like yep I'm coming back it's like oh boy like Florida State is certainly positioning itself to be like, this is a year we're going to make a push. Worst vibes in the ACC. This is a tough one.

There are certain ones that don't count. Can we say both division winners? You have to have ambition in order to have bad vibes. That means Boston College is completely ineligible. They don't qualify. Both Virginia's, surely. Virginia Tech isn't. Virginia Tech is in the running here.

Both Virginia's. I don't know what the fuck. happened to wake this year i wasn't paying attention um i think their vibes were great and then it took a little bit of a do the uh transfer i would put i would actually put georgia tech over in the positive column yeah okay i i i yeah sure what do we what okay let's let's let's do that because it's bad it's bad but with a top five recruiting class right it is bad but in a way that feels like no we know it was going to go this way fuck you bad but temporary probably we meant to do that um what do we make of our panthers

think so pit ended up being with if you don't if you kind of like take it all out of the context of the week to week yeah can we clip that noise out of like the week to week evan flow of it pit had a fine year over the last two years pit's done great right it just felt stupid yeah that's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it actively hating the coach hating his own team

yet somehow winning a decent bowl anyway every single every single pit season it works for Nick listen it's road trip with psychotic dad with bad organizational like skills it is it's like

he's yelling all the time you get lost you do some dumb shit and he's like I'm real proud of you guys for making it through this I mean you win five in a row to finish the season and you beat your arch rival for the first time and whatever number of years.

That's good, but you did, like, Pitt may have, that's anyone happy. Pitt may have gotten the best draw in the new, like, you play these three teams every year. They got Boston College, Syracuse, and Virginia Tech. Just a gift. I love it.

Clemson gets Florida State, Georgia Tech, NC State. Georgia Tech has to play Clemson every year. Florida State has to play Clemson and Miami every year. Pitt really came out on the good side of that one. I love your pit going. Hey, fuck at least one of those up every year that's the good news listen pit goes into those discussions and they're like we just we really want to play our traditional big east rivals or like our history

with syracuse of boston college we're just we're just not pit wait if we don't get to play those two teams every year can we can we say shouts out to pitts october where they had easily the dumbest fucking month of any team i've seen because they because they lost to georgie tech nobody does that no they lost to to they lost to Louisville when Louisville was supposed to remember this was with Louisville made the turn it was like please kill us leave it Louisville was basically like handing them the sword and bearing their neck and being like here's where I'm vulnerable tired with my head being on my shoulder hit these blinking parts of my body right and Pitt was like sure and they slipped on some chicken

grease and it went right in their gut that's what happened uh they lost that game and then they lost to uh they did lose to north Carolina which is just a dumb fucking month man just the absolute dumbest month way to go um and then recovered and then recovered you know what i don't know why we made this so hard nc state vibes trash absolute buck is trash always but it doesn't the the v unc the the and it didn't matter that that that the the trachitude of their vibes seems unable to affect their team either positively or negatively does that give them some kind of incredible are they the immovable object when confronted with vibes i think they can absorb a tremendous amount of like can we put this in Pokemon terms they can they can their bodies

you know how like a radiologist can can deal with more radiation from from a nuclear event because they've been around it so much right they've got they've got baseline exposure that is nc state and bad vibes like okay okay like their bodies can absorb so so much of it I think in Pokemon terms we might be looking at a chancey just stands there, a lot of hit points. You know what the answer really is? The ACC is a conference

has the worst vibes of all conferences right now, I would say. Usually. This is like 2005-2015 vintage ACC. Yes, yes. Like as an entity, and you're like, what about the PAC-12? And you're like, yeah, but the PAC-12

knows it's dead. It doesn't care. When the Pac-12 did shit, like, when the Heism is like, we're dead, but we got a pretty course. So my favorite thing about NC State season is that coming in, their main asset was Devin Leary. Devin Leary was supposed to be like their best hope for progress out of the eternal hole that they are in. Devin Leary ends up having an up and down season, gets injured, and transfers to a place where he can finally enjoy. obstacle-free prosperity and support from his offense. That's right.

He transferred to the University of Kentucky, where he will be playing quarterback. He watched Will Levis run through traffic the entire year after getting injured and said, that's for me. That's what I want. That's better than staying at NC State. Before we do, Big 12, group of five, best fives.

Two lane, of course. Tulane Troy Definitely Um Marshall had some pretty good vibes Coastal high but falling Yeah

East Carolina East East Yeah Anybody with Jake Hainer in their locker room watches the sunshine on their side of the favorite room You're gonna talk about this like six years from now You're gonna be like I think Jake Gators

Yeah ECU's first bowl win in a decade. Does Yukon count? They're independent. Sure. Not technically, but yeah, throw them in. Sure. They kind of have, we kind of have to include them this year, yeah.

Worst vibes in the group of five. San Diego State. UMass is no worse than usual. No. Navy? I can't decide. Like, can't decide. Like, Ken getting fired stinks, but on the other hand, it's like, maybe that is a choice they have to make.

King getting fired in the mayor that they got fired at just like the general shit-bertitude of current Navy leadership. Yeah. This is more of the split zone thing. That's true. He said Top Gun Maverick came out this year. That's a good point. That does prop it up a little bit. You're right.

Colorado State like after all the changes they made and they're not really any better and now they're going to get like and now Colorado is going to do the big boy version of that and probably Oh JMU is one we left out as a great vibes

season. Georgia Southern also Mm-hmm Nice season, yeah yeah um yeah yeah yeah this is tough

MTSU There you go They beat my Oh boy And What a bowl vibe's date USF your vibes are still trash I'm glad you're building facilities

That's something that can be done UAB vibes also high But with an uncertain plummet in front of them Sorry I hate this hire I hate it I hate it We did just forget for a second That Trent Dilfer was hired We didn't forget

We didn't forget No no I mean the royal weed me I totally was like, UAB, a happy place of dragons and shit! I love the higher, I don't, I'm not predicting success for the hire. I love it in a story way where it's like, oh, I see the logic. I don't like the logic. I could make the argument while hating the argument. It's just funny.

It might work. Who the fuck knows? One more bad vibes candidate from the group of vibe. New Mexico for years has been like, well, at least we live here with New Mexico State. At least we're stuck in this trash bin With New Mexico State The brother that we hate And now New Mexico State's like

My bitch, we're gonna go to a bowl game You stay in the trash barrel I hate you I hate you I go to bowl games Somewhat regularly Okay Big 12 best vibes

Non TCU Kansas State With a bullet K State with a bullet And Kansas Texas Tech And Kansas Okay

Okay Just how we drew it up At the start of the year the two Kansas schools at Lubbock. Okay. Yeah, I don't think I have any strong argument against me of that. Despite where they finished up in the pack, I have a hard time making a worst case for vibes than Oklahoma State right now.

Can I give you a queasy? Like, like, queasy vibe, Oklahoma? Like, not... The queasy vibe, like, I heard a noise outside. Is queasy worse than bad? Is queasy worse than bad? it is um i think oklahoma's pro i think oklahoma if we're gonna let's let's let's bedlam it out my car's making a noise i think it's the way that's oklahoma state you can see that there is is flames under the hoods

you definitely know that there's something wrong but oklahoma's it's just making a noise where you're like oh man that sounds expensive yeah there is enough there is enough to this oklahoma season and honestly their bowl game was a really nice encapsulation of it where you're like this might have just been god hates us this year this might not be fundamentally flawed it might have just been like the year everything bad could happen i don't think that's great for your vibes yeah a lot of close losses and won by 49 points yes um west virginia is actually but but it's bad when your starting quarterback comes back like yeah i'm back y'all and like there's two people yeah like yeah uh west virginia is my worst vibes candidate. West Virginia is not worse than Oklahoma State right now in terms of

vibes. Um, I would argue that they are different because, I mean, it's bad. I don't know how I guess Oklahoma State's not going to get rid of Mike Gundy, right? I guess I can say this now. They were in the process of like trying to get Neil out of there. Sure. I don't know what happened. Okay. That is concerning. I don't know what happened there. That is concerning. I don't know that. Anyway, I have a long, a long, long list of thoughts on Neil Brown. I would, I would mark West Virginia under the queasy thing.

Okay. There's, there's a lot going on institutionally there right now. Here's the tiebreaker that lets you win. West Virginia beat Oklahoma State. Well, here's the, the tiebreaker that I'm concerned about is, and I mean, this is not just another, oh, Mike Gunny's an asshole. Yeah, he's an asshole to everybody, but the one of his, I don't even know any, it's January 10th.

I don't even know if this is the latest blowup he's had at a press conference, but have you looked very lately at the list of players they have going into the portal as in their offense is going into the portal? And whoever it was asked him about this at the press conference, and he was like, why would I be worried about that? And it's, I understand a scenario in which this could have been framed in the, you know, what's becoming the standard, well, we want people who want to be here, want to be here. when you're, there's two kind of ways to be a weirdo and answer this question.

You can answer it in the weirdo way that Sam Pittman did, and then you get wife portal. Or you can answer it in the way Gundy did, and he's like, what do you mean, am I worried that my starting quarterback and this much of my offensive production would rather play for someone else next season? That's a stupid question. You're a bad friend, and I won't be friends and see with me more. Maybe you should explore, the white portal. Oh, please don't do that again. We haven't had that one's on. Fucking yikes.

Okay, yeah, I think you're right. Oklahoma State's probably the vibes. I'm going to make one more case. Iowa State. Oh, yeah. A good year and a few decent years, which all of those are achievements at Iowa State, to be clear. Finish the year with a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 stretch.

They didn't win a big 12th. They lost, I think they lost six games. Or they beat West Virginia. Yeah, yeah, they won't want to make a conference. There's another case for West Virginia. But the only, yeah, I mean, if I'm an Iowa State fan, I'm starting to wonder, like, we, we probably hit our peak. I didn't pay enough attention to Iowa State football. What did happen there football-wise?

Well, first they lost. Like, was it any one thing or? First, they lost the greatest quarterback in NFL history, Brock Purdy. Right, right. Which. You might win a Super Bowl. Yeah, what day is it, we should probably, Jason, go ahead and put that bet down now. Yeah.

This appears to be going well for you. Brought pretty went, finished with the best rookie quarterback rating in NFL history? Oh, just like we drew it up. Like we said a few minutes ago, we are right about all college football players, always. Brock Purdy, Brock Purdy in the NFL, he is the little doge, big doge meme. Like, Brock Purdy in college, little doge. Big, strong doge. That's Brockport.

This is a player that, like, if. say that we had been i think so yeah like if if NFL fan had come then said like how do you don't you how do you explain this player we would have been like oh here comes chaos machine right we would have been like oh buckle up for wacky shit but he's you know he's just he's a shanahan quarterback wait hang on for a second server are you are you positing that it's pronounced dog ecoyne we've talked this is a er this is early hand in the dirt canon that actually does make more sense yes we decided that it makes more sense for it to be dog e-coin that's why there's a dog on it and it's

e-coin you know electronic no i like it yeah and so because doge is a made-up thing but i think the twitter i think in twitter's like you have the webster's dictionary you have the twitter dictionary dictionary i didn't know if it was like a j sound or like a zh sound that's where i was confused do you think originally it was dog e-coin and then because the word doge was in it the doge meme got attached to it and then the name changed maybe like accidental symbiosis.

Holly, to answer your question, Iowa State lost games by 7-3-1-3-6 and 4 this year. Oh, we've had this season before. That sucks. And other scores as well. They did, yes, they lost by other scores as well. Listen, there were a couple of gappers in there. There were a couple of laughers. No, but I've watched the team that, I've watched the team that I love to do that season before.

That sucks. But they also lost by, like, it's not just that they lost close games. that it's like, they lost to Kansas, 14, 11. Then they lost to Kansas State 10 to 9. They lost Texas Tech 14 to 10. Like, here's what happened. They beat Iowa to start the season 10, 7, and then they got infected with Iowa the rest of the season.

That is weird. When Kirk Farrins bites you, you got to clean that shit. Yes. Imagine Venom, but it's Kirk Farrants. What would Venom, okay, if Kurt Farrants' venom took over your body, what would he say what would it sound like? I think you turn yellow

corn yellow he'd say good money bitch