Shutdown Fullcast - Dabo and Devil’s Night: A Rich Text

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

SHOW NOTES The longest cold open in Fullcast history Dabo does his very best Julia Sugarbaker, which isn’t as good as Holly’s Julia Sugarbaker, but we’re sure he tried his best For a rich guy Dabo sure is sensitive about money! Let’s find some other 53-year-olds, for scientific comparison Okay so who CAN we rely on, looking at the back third of the schedule Let’s check in with Michigan, having another normal one Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And now, a dramatic reading from Dabo Sweeney and Tyler. You make 11.5 million a year. That's second in college football, if I'm not mistaken. I'm curious why that salary has led to a 4-4 record. And I know we're going to talk about just being a couple plays away from undefeated and all that. And I know you're a man of religion. I'm a big fan, coach. Before you categorize me as being in the 1.5%, I was going to Clemson Games in my entire family. Going back generations has been going to Clemson Games

when you're in commercial real estate. So I'm not going to accept being in that 1.5%. And I respect the fact that you're a man of faith, and I'm curious if you've ever read, Proverbs 1618. which talks about pride come before the fall. I was in the military and I was overseas for the big run, and so I couldn't watch all the games.

I tried my best, but I always watched press conferences just for life advice, and I appreciated all that. Something changed after 2018. You're humble, you're hungry and everything, and I always told people, man, Dabo just listened to his press conferences. But after that 2018 national title, something changed. And there seems to be a lot of arrogance that came in.

There were a lot of friends and family. Three of the ten on the field football coaches are external, experienced hires. And everyone else is an internal hire that had no experience before or was a former player or friend. So I'm curious. are we paying you $11.5 million to go four and four, and it's not just this year. It's been, as you know, just the refusal to accept. Hey, Tyler, I've listened to enough of you, Tyler. Listen, you can have all your opinions that you want.

I don't know how old you are, don't really care. But let me tell you something. We won 11 games last year. And you're part of the problem, to be honest with you, because that is part of the problem. It's people like you that all you do, the appreciation, the expectation is greater than the appreciation. And that's the problem. And so we've won 12, 10 plus win seasons in a row. That's happened three times in 150 years.

So if you want to know why, Clemson ain't sniff a national championship for 35 years, we've won two in seven years. And there's only two other teams that can say that, Georgia and Alabama, okay? Is this a bad year? Yeah, and it's my responsibility. Take 100% responsibility for it. all this bull crap you're thinking, all these narratives you read. Listen, man, you can have your opinion all you want, and you can apply for the job. And good luck to you, all right?

But to answer your question, we're second in draft picks. We've graduated 98% of our guys. We're second in wins, all right? If you want to know why, again, I'm telling you, we're not perfect. Did Frank Howard never have a bad year? Coach Ford never have a bad year? Coach Kay never had a bad year in basketball? all, people have a bad year. But the part of the problem is the appreciation. I used to tell people

all the time. They'd say, what's the difference in Clemson? Let me tell you. At some places, there's an expectation, but at Clemson, there's an appreciation. And what's happened to Clemson is we've won so much that even, it used to be the funds and the winning. Now, even when you win, people like you, complain and criticize the coaches and question everything. People like you, when I hired Tony Elliott to be the offensive coordinator who never called play in his life, I'm sure you were critical then, all right? And he took us to two national championships, people like you, who just love to destroy people with your comments. I'm sure you've never made me bad decisions. I'm sure you lived a perfect life. I'm sure you led a bunch of people. I'm sure you do your job.

So to answer your question, I started as the lowest paid coach in this bricking business, all right? And I'm where I am because I've worked my ass off every single day, and I ain't going to let some smart-ass kid, get on this phone and create this stuff. So if you've got a problem with it, I don't care, all right? I work for the board of trustees, the president, and the AD. And if they're tired of me

leading this program, all they've got to do is let me know. I'll go somewhere else where there is an appreciation. It's not just winning. It's how you win. This is a tough year. But we've had 12, 10 plus win season.

in a row. Twelve. We lost to Tennessee last year. They won 11 games for the first time in like 20 years. We've had eight 11 win seasons in 11 years or whatever. We've won two national championships. Clemson went 35 years, all right, probably since before you were born your whole freaking life. And we've won two in seven years. And we earned it. And we beat the best of the best to do it, the best of the best. Twelve, ten plus win season. So if you want to know why, that's why. Am I perfect? No. I'm far from it and I am a man of faith absolutely all right I'm 53 years old and there ain't one thing in my life I've been part of failure many times but there ain't one thing in my life that I've ever failed at Tyler never ever I wanted to get an education I got two degrees I wanted to be the first college graduate of my family I did it I wanted to go play football at Alabama I learned a scholarship letter three years worked my ass off won a national championship I want a national championship I want a wanted to get into coaching. I worked my way into being a head coach. And when I got this job,

I'm sure you didn't want me to get this job, all right, and 15 years later, I'm still here. And I say the results are what they are, and I stand on them. So you don't ever have to call back. I wanted to get married. I've been married for going on 30 years. I wanted to be a father. I've raised three great sons. If you don't like how I run the program, don't be a fan. I don't care. But I'm the head coach, and I'm going to do what I believe is right for the long term of this program what's best for the players and what I think is best for the moment if you got a problem with that

that's fine but I'm not going to sit here and let you call I don't give a crap how much money I make you ain't going to talk to me like I'm 12 years old gotta be freaking kidding me the rant ended and the host Don Munson just said

amen I like it all right I have not read that So sorry about the stomach. I started drooling uncontrollably in the middle of that for something. So did Debo. What you have heard is a dramatic recreation of Debo, Swinney, coach of the Clemson Tigers football program's answer to caller Tyler from last night's

Clemson call-in show. Monday night. Yes. Monday, October the 30th. Pre-Halloween, or I don't know what evangelicals call it. I'm sure it has some name like the Lord's Night. That would be Trunker Treats Eve or Fall Fest Eve or. You have Jason here.

Why aren't you asking you? This was waiting for him to come in. Harvest party Eve or Fall Festif Fall was one I learned about. As in the sec, the Vol is Fall. So Fall Festifal Eve. That's deep. That's, yeah. Yeah, that was what Davo was celebrating.

It is not what he was also. celebrating was the ability to get one off Tyler Tyler so that's the first thing Holly that that second Tyler you just delivered that's exactly how he said it there's actually a point where he he along he elongates and he goes Tyler that man has seen Dixie Carter's monologue against that is against Marjorie in the dressing room of the Miss Georgia pageant. Yeah. And he, this may be the only thing we have in common, but he has taken it to heart as a

foundational text. This is very much the night the lights went out in Georgia. At, monologue. At what point do you think everyone involved with this radio show was like, oh, he's going to, he's going to keep talking. I, I would have, myself, I would have appreciated the opportunity for a bathroom great, so I think I'm grateful to coach at this time. it's personally

yeah this was there is so much here it is what the academics would call a rich text one where yeah it's rich it makes 11 and a half million dollars

to go 4 to go 4 and 4 to go 4 and 4 first of all I want to salute the fact that we have all of these guys who make 10 11 million million dollars a year to coach football. And once a week, they have to show up at a sports bar

somewhere a half a mile from their office, strap up a headset and talk to guys named Tyler and Peewee about why the team ain't doing what they want it to do. That is the best thing in the world. It is so, like, there are a lot of messed up things about the way this sport allocates resources and power. But one of the funniest and most equitable things is that the guys in charge of the football teams have to show up and any fucking yahoo in the world can pick up a phone and be like hey i was in my car and i got real mad thinking about losing to wake fours love it you could just cut a promo on the dude and he's got to sit there and go breathe deep there's a car dealership at the end of this and he's got to do this some of these

coaches don't do them in radio studios some of them do them like live from wing places Nick Saban does it live from a sports bar. I want to make it clear, like, they do this because they want to do it. Like, because if they don't want to do it, it doesn't happen. Chris Peterson at Washington, entirely pre-recorded, no fan interaction whatsoever. Kirby might be taking calls now, but when I know when Rick was on his way out, had he stayed another year, they were done with the calls. Why do I know this? Because I was working the call-in show when the fan called, and Abraham from Bethlehem asked why,

why we were playing on the beach instead of getting ready for a bowl game in one of the eight and four seasons. What would you know about sand? So like they set themselves up for this shit. Like I don't want to give them, I don't want them to appear, I don't want any pity for them

that they have to go out and do these shows. They absolutely choose to do them because all the agents for the ones that don't do it are the agents for the ones that do and they still decide to go out and do it. Especially motherfuckers like Davo. He loves this. shit. Chris Peterson not wanted to do it

is the best, just that they were like, so on the issue of calls, no, nope, no. Imagine arguing with Chris Peterson. It's like arguing with a cinder block. Yeah, yeah, he's like, you yell all you want. Yeah, I appreciate your opinion. Next call. That's more than you're getting from the cinder block. Like, all these guys believe they're

incredible at working a room, and they would love nothing more than the chance to show off that skill. Well, like, all right, just to give you by contrast, in a year of some difficulty, but definitely not as a high a degree of difficulty. Okay. And certainly with better outcomes, Nick Sabin,

when a guy literally named Pee Wee earlier this season called in, all right, a guy who at all times, I guess during the history of the Nick Saban call-in show, has had an issue and brought it directly to Coach Saban through the foghorn of the people's opinion, the call-in show. When Pee-wee was there,

he goes, well, hey, coach is Pee-wee. And Nick goes, oh man, pee-wee, I'm so glad you called in. We got, we can't blow. We can't do anything of this stuff. It was, yeah. It's incredible. I needed the wisdom of Peewee.

Thank God it's here. Teach us your ways, Peewee. Sabin playing along. And Sabin's doing this in advanced jujitsu because as Spencer said a minute ago, he does this in a crowded restaurant. So you can't even make faces into the microphone while you're talking. You have to do, you have to perform for a live audience and for a radio audience simultaneously. my theory and it's just a theory at this point is that this wasn't really about Tyler from Spartanburg

Nope you think this is and maybe this is the other reason why they do these radio shows Everything Dabo said is some shit that he can't say to a booster who's also being mean to him behind closed doors This is a version of Godfrey's mantra that whenever a coach is talking to the media he's talking to his team yes and in this case, he's talking to the rich people who won't leave him alone about one bad year. And this is what he really wants to say to them, but he can't tell a mega booster, well, don't be a fan. Well, you apply for the job. Well, I don't care. Like, you can't say that to the money men. You can say it to faceless Tyler from Spartanburg. That's the brain genius. Tyler may have had a face when he started. That's the giant brain genius angle. And Ryan, I think you're like 60% right.

Because, okay. For me, that's a huge win on this show. No, I do because. Spencer thinks you're 60% right and something involving interpersonal relations. You might as well ask Voyager 1, right? Yeah, exactly. This thing has the computational power emotionally speaking of a T.I. calculator from 1988.

Let's see what it thinks. I think you're mostly right. But there's points at this, like, and Andy Staples, who like generally like if he's talking about a coach or get something like he's like i'm kind of on team dabbo here i think like i don't know if you have to take sides you don't have to defend either tyler or dabbo here but he did kind of come back after the initial quotes which were really negative sounding uh out of this came through and was like i'm kind of on team dabbo because if you hear the whole thing in context like there's a lot of valid points true agree

fully granted however there's like 40% of this that's clearly a dude just off his ass there's clearly 40% of this that is a guy having a real bad time, okay? It's when he goes off the rails and wanders badly, right? I'm going to get married. Mama said I was too young. Because, all right, we are, we are on, like, in total banger territory, okay? In terms of the recitation of the resume and in terms of speaking yes to that booster who he just badly wants to tell to kiss his ass.

Devil said ass here, by the way. That's, yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's deeply on Christ-like that is deeply, I think, offended and affected. I don't know if it's unchristlike. It's undabbo-like. It's, yes, it's undabos version of Christ-like, yes. If Jesus said all sorts of mean shit. This is, this is not flipping over the money-lender's tables. It's finding somebody outside and flipping his table because the money lender is funding your program.

That. Why would dab-o flip his best friend's tables? That is what said. him off mentioning the money twice he is sensitive about how much money he makes we have known this for years he brought this upon himself not by making a lot of money he makes market values two-time national champion um but because uh you know it is very easy to read him as completely tone deaf the shit he said about athletes getting compensation um nobody would be stupid enough to not realize how it sounds when he says that while making 11 million dollars a year and he's

been asked about it many, many, many, many times about how much money he makes and how bad it looks for him to say the shit he says. He is fully aware. So, like, his salary is a hot button for him. Like, if you wanted to set him off, this would be the perfect way to do it. I am 1,000% on Team Tyler here. Like, like, he makes that much money, better be perfect. I don't give a shit. Like, if he loses a game, well, I guess he makes too much money. That is one thing that touched him off. The other thing that really, like, because he goes through a pretty solid, you know, recitation of the achievements, right? Like 12 games, 10 plus seasons, 12 years, 10 plus seasons in a row, right?

He goes as far as to be like, you know, hey, y'all pores ain't one shit without me. Like, that's literally what he does. He's like, with the unnecessary shot at Tennessee buried in there too. Yeah, no, no, no. Just throwing that in there because, again, I think at one point, Ryan, this is. very focused and then suddenly he's like you know when richard prior talks about shooting a car and he goes well i shot the other tire because it got good to me that's that's what he does he's just grabbing things and and throwing stuff off of the they said i couldn't make any babies and i

make several yes good ones pre good ones what this other i just realized what else this speech is pulling from this may be a deeper cut but this is the excuse me officer he's my dad's speech from troop beverly hills yes and at the end she finishes delivering her dad's resume and she turns to father and goes now daddy shake the man's hand and let's be on our way the other point that tyler raises here is about like um dabbo's stubbornness about you know not changing with the times you know uh is is very clear it's it's very clear that this season could have gone better had he made use of the transfer portal that everyone else in college football is using but uh dabbo believed that the dabbo system was too good and doesn't need it right and that's sort of a thing that

Tyler is, uh, is, is like talking around and talking his way toward and like that mention of, you know, um, the refusal to accept. That's the last thing Tyler got out before Dabo went off. And like the reference to pride come before a fall. Yeah, it's, it's pride. It's pride in the Dabo method. I don't need players from elsewhere. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm the one who, you know, I'm the one who has figured out college football in a way no one else has. Uh, and it's, it's me, my system. And like, everyone else is just, uh, slapping together scraps. The other thing that sets him off is the accusations that nobody on the coaching staff has experience outside Clemson, which also really sets him off. In fact, you can go back and you can look.

That's where he starts to say, I'm sure you're a good person. That's when he mentions hiring Tony Elliott, right? That's when things really start to get off because that gets to, hey, dabbo, you're hiring a bunch of flunkies. You're hiring a bunch of dudes who've only been in your program, which is a. exactly true they hired an outside offensive coordinator but albeit after what after years of struggle on that front they finally may or may not be letting him run his offense who's to say correct correct there's there's some mystery about that as well but mystery the word ambiguity like a child's mystery yes okay like putting your monster at the end of this book like you're putting your hand over

your own eyes like can't see me yeah there's a little glove in the clemson football book that It looks like a monster, right? I don't want to know about this. It goes through the book and you read it. It goes, blah, blah, blah. That's right. Yeah, but most of these guys on the staff are relatively inexperienced when you look at other major programs. This is very much not just a kind of Clemson dudes club.

It is some people who are relatively novice. And that's something Clemson fans have noticed. And it might also be a sticking point in particular. because you'd be very sore about this if you'd notice that the development of skilled players particularly on offense had come to a screeching halt over the past three or four years after having a chain of dudes

who all get drafted in the NFL, all too well. Yeah, might have lined up with the departure of several key assistants. Well, that and the refusal to replenish by any means other than the stuff that worked 10 years ago. Yeah. So extra heat applied there. that's when he starts to go off and say,

hey, I was the lowest paid guy, and I'm here because I worked my ass off. Lowest paid guy, and I'm here to say, he's kind of doing, like, he's doing T-Pain rap. Yeah. Doot, do, do, do, do, do, do. In the park. The tension between, like,

I don't think Davo actually, maybe he does, I shouldn't say that. But, like, the whole expectation versus appreciation thing, like, I think that that has to just be naivete at best. Like, I don't think you can be a head football coach at a Power 5 program like Clemson for this long and have gotten there having seen, like, how things went under his predecessor and what got him out, and then be shocked when people are mad that you're four and four, and they're not just, like, if you want a job.

Except he's not really shocked. He's just mad. If you want a job where you can sort of play up appreciation and say, like, look at what I have done in the past and appreciate that, go into the arts, go into, like, you can be a musician and be like, look, I put out 20 years of great music, and it doesn't matter if I put out a great album this year. You can still think that I'm awesome. And if coaching doesn't work, people are like calling for Bill Belichick's head in New England. And if he can't be appreciated, like, it's such a false, it's a false dichotomy is what it is. It's the idea that you either appreciate me because I'm not, you're not stuck with this every year or you, or you're, you have unjust expectations. This idea that like you must value me based on what happened in previous years, okay, you were already paid for those previous years. what you were paid for right now is what you were doing this year the rest of your contract is for future years if these years are not up to the standard of those old years then you're not doing your job

also like I can't say this with the supreme amount of confidence but I don't think Clemson fans have been we need to burn the building down over the last couple of years we have one here let's ask you okay Serber do you think like Clemson fans have been relatively chill about the last couple of years being quote unquote down when you're still winning double digit games you're just not making it to the playoff you're still one of the best teams

in the ACC if not the best have they handled that in relative stride yeah and that's the fucking problem because the warning signs for what has happened this year have been there and been coming and just now that's why I'm somewhat exhausted with this season is because just now I hear everybody saying the shit

that all the people that I've been listening I think, like, all the problems that Clemson is having on offense right now, Michael Felder has been spelling out for us since 2019. He's been telling us what is wrong, why they don't look the same, why they're not winning, why they're not going to win the national championship. And it all,

and it's all come to Roos this year, and now finally everyone's saying these things. And it's like, yeah, man, no shit. That's what we were trying to say that, like, and I think the thing also is, no one really wants to meet. and here, I'll say this, I'll say this. I don't doubt that Dabo is right that he can use his guys

to build a successful program because he's done it before. The problem that Dabo is facing right now is that he has to understand that it's not going to work every single fucking time. Like, Jeff Scott and Tony Elliott are Clemson guys from the program, came in and did an excellent job with the offense. And Jeff Scott, particularly on the recruiting trail, if you look back at all the big recruiting wins for Clemson over their run, a lot of them have to do with either Brent Venables

or Jeff Scott and Jeff Scott even working with Brick Medibles sometimes so the like both of those guys worked out just fine I think the argument

now is just that maybe let's accept that Tyler Grissom and C.J. Spiller whose position groups have seen a drop-off correlate directly with their hiring

and replacement of these other guys may just say that like these might not be the guys and I think it's also worth knowing before Jeff Scott or Tony Elliott had

any position of power within the Clemson program as a position coach they spent a lot of time on staff doing other things they didn't just jump right up into the role whereas literally C.J. Spiller goes from assistant graduate assistant to running back coach right away Tyler Grissom graduate assistant to wide receivers coach right away and then the position group drops off and we have to hear dabbo saying well no it's just sometimes the players got to it well like the players can to not do it and it's all the players who are not doing it so at a certain point i like yes i blame the players for not pulling it off but like man there's a there's a thread here that's

underlying for all of these and it's that's the same guys telling them what to do and they're all fucking up and i think that no one has been saying that for the past couple years people have been saying oh well you know just one and it's the same shit that dabbo's saying this year one play here or there and we're undefeated and we're playing for the playoff and it's like yeah but it's really not one play here there because the Clemson teams that won national championships and made it to the playoff didn't need just one play to go their way they had a ton of plays go their way right they beat the shit out of everyone with Miami and Duke go they were just like now we beat those

teams by 30 yeah Clemson would have a rough start to the season play a few close games and then the final seven to eight games would just go under the radar of like anyone's opinion sneak into the top four because they didn't lose and just beat teams by 30 that had zero pulse whatsoever. Well, the rest of the ACC is a little bit better because the transfer portal now exists and it's not a team, like everyone's not constantly rebuilding in the coastal division anymore. Like, people are getting guys who can come in and play right away and contribute and make

teams like Louisville great all of a sudden. Like, or make a team like Georgia Tech have a pulse all of a sudden that couldn't touch anyone and now just be the top 25 North Carolina team. Georgia Tech's a real interesting one to mention because the thing that has given them at least some life in what was supposed to be a dismal season and one where they are still by the way record's not great they've had some big wins they've had some horrendous they've had some horrendous losses right they're better than they're better than i think most people expected them to be but they got a quarterback they wouldn't got a quarterback and that's something that that clemson was able to i think

across that like jeff scott tony elliott period they papered over a lot of their weaknesses with great quarterback play they really did especially like trevor lawrence Trevor Lawrence did that thing sometimes where you're like man their offense looks like ass oh he just ran for 70 yards that's just something he could do and he just fixed it that's that allowed i think a lot of maybe the declining quality across the board to slide because they had that dude at quarterback the thing i keep coming back to that i think is the biggest loser in in taking dabbo's side if that's the thing you want to do when you say to a fan you are part of the problem that's insane to me that's such loser bullshit talk because the fans, the only way you can make an argument that the fans are

part of the problem is if they're not showing up, if you're not getting the resources that you need, if they are like being incredibly hostile to your players, shit that is not happening at Clemson. Like to turn it around, basically what Davo is telling this person, what Dabo's telling Tyler is, the problem is that you care too much. And that's a crazy fucking thing to say. I think that's such a loser argument and such a bad piece of salesmanship that you just don't have to, you don't have to own goal that. You don't have to say the problem is that you, Clemson fans, want too much.

You want this too, Dabbo. This is why you feel justified getting paid $11.5 million, not just because of what you have done but because you understand that that comes with an expectation for what you will do and some of y'all listening to this may not be old enough to remember but if you this was extremely dabbo schick in early clemson days too before they started winning he has always reacted like this to adversity we had a we had a three year running gag on edsbsbs where we photoshopped a binkie into his mouth because he was fucking always whining about something and he won he has since experienced the greatest highs of this of this sport and nowhere near the greatest lows of this sport by the way and neither of those experiences

appears to have bought him an ounce of grace so about that grace there's a point here where I believe he goes from the messaging that Ryan was talking about, the pinpoint accuracy of a case well made for his ability to coach this team and take them places Clemson has never gone before. And it starts shortly after the sensitive point of his hiring and his salary are brought up. And it's about right here where he goes, where he says, am I perfect? No, I'm far from it.

now we're just going to kitchen sink it, okay? I'm a man of faith. Whatever, sure. It's got nothing to do with your ability to coach football. I'm 53 years old. Now we're just reading your drivers. Hang on, I'm going to see who else is 53 years old. Keep going.

Sure, now we're just reading your driver's license, right? I've been a part of failure many times, but there ain't one thing of my life I've ever failed. I'm an organ donor. I don't know, dad. I wear your wings bowl. I wear corrected lenses. Oh, holy shit. I am 511.

Class C license. Full disclosure, there is no way I'm 175 pounds at this point in the season. Bloat is real. My license expires in six years, but I'm not going to let it get that far. Because I've been a part of failure, but I've never failed at anything. Y'all are not going to believe some of these people who are 53 years old. Give me your top three. Matt Damon?

Okay, sure. Also a part of failure, Crypto, baby. And we bought a zoo. It's more of like, I can't believe. it's not so much it's hard to believe Matt Damon is 53 but it also like if I told you Matt Damon

and Christopher Nolan and Andre Agassi were all the same age would that confuse you Whoa that is weird How about okay all the same age Heather Graham Simon Pegg Octavia Spencer Okay sure No the yeah just check

Ellen Pompeo Mini Driver Naomi Campbell Naomi Campbell looks like she's 30 so no Yeah, that's like her job. Okay, who else? Okay, here's one. Nick Offerman and Aisha Tyler are the same age. Wait, isn't Nick Offerman also the same age as Jared Leto?

Yeah, Jared Leto is 50 plus. I haven't gotten down to Jared. Jared Letto, I can't accept that. I watched my so-called life as a child, sorry. Okay, cool. Yeah. But that's the point where Dabo just starts grabbing stuff off the sink, right? Dabo is the same age as Bobby Cannavalley, and Bobby Cannavalley would never pull this shit.

I feel so confident saying that. He wouldn't. Says that, you know, I like this. By the way, there was a, there's a bar in Clemson, a restaurant and bar that put up on their marquee. Hey, Davo, you want to know a rich person who's 53 who I haven't heard from today?

McKenzie Scott. Go fund a boys club. Yeah. He got two degrees. I did it. There's this recitation of things that I don't understand. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know why you're telling me that.

Linus Torval's is only 53. Don't want to tell you, I've raised three great sons. This has nothing. You're just skidding all over the track at this point. None of it is an answer, like, to be very clear, none of it is an answer to the express and implied questions inherent in what Tyler is saying. Like, it's all just, how dare you come to me with this bullshit? And you can say that.

You can say, like, I don't have to listen to you. But you do look like an asshole when you do it. yeah and there's a word here that pops up like 60 times in the span of like three paragraphs and it's i and that to me is the weakest part of it because dabbo has to sit there as the guy who's supposed to represent the whole program and at no point has he talked about with your accountability he's basically saying i've done all of these wonderful things and how dare you accuse me of failing at any of them okay this actually this actually might be like as an astrological thing because Phil Mickelson, as it turns out, is also 53.

But Phil Mickelson owns his failures. I've been a part of failure. I am a failure. I've done a zillion failure. And I'd like you to be a part of it, too. I don't know if he can always afford. Yeah, yeah. So what Dabo is doing when he's listing off these other biological facts, right?

These are things that he is used to espousing as evidence that he is blessed and highly favored. I have this great household. Look at all these elements of my life that are in place because I'm doing things the right way. And he's used to that going to. Right. Yeah. I'm good at my job. Therefore I'm a good person. I have procreated. Therefore I'm a good person. All of these things are evidence in favor. And like he's used to this shit all hidden. And he's used to hearing it about himself. He's used to being introduced as a great father, husband, patriot coach. Right. So like all of this shit for him all builds to stop telling me I'm not worth what that big number, right? Because how could I not be worth that big number? I have done all the

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Desmond Howard is 53. He's on TV talking more than Davo. I don't hear him talking this shit. Yeah, his playoff picks are wild enough that they might qualify. Yeah, that's the thing that... Saddique Khan is 53. He's just over there running London. Like, I don't, I don't understand about all of this, too, is, you know, I think for

anybody who has spent enough time on the internet, um, I'm sorry, we need to stop and talk about Sadie Khan's birthplace. Tooting. Oh, he's from Tootin. Okay. Tooting. Tutting, South Carolina. He has also been praised for promoting tolerance, reducing polluting vehicles in London.

This is an amazing Alabama. That's lowering the amount of automotive, Tootin. This isn't, that is the point, yes. That's an amazing element of England or England. Fred Durst is 53. Sorry, this is what we're doing for the rest of the show. I don't... All right, fine.

I've reached the peak 53-year-olds against which everyone is compared. Raoul Asparza and Audra McDonald. The rest of you need to try harder. Okay. I don't even think this made Davo feel better is the worst part. No. Oh, definitely not. No, he's doing.

I don't think this was cathartic. No, because now look at what he's got to do. He's got to go home and get that bad house that his kids begged for and just strangled every living thing he finds in it. His options now are to be the person worthy of appreciation that he is presenting and, like, not improve his football program. Or to change his ways, there are things he needs to change. We've mentioned several about the roster and his hiring practices and all that.

And if he does that, what has he done? He's admitted, Tyler from Spartanburg was right. Neither of those is a fun option. Because that's the other thing here. Tyler's right. I mean, let's, Tyler's call was deranged, but not, not without. But it's also a sports radio calling show, phone call. Like, they're all deranged in their own way.

I just want to know, what was the smoke screen, like, how did Tyler get this past the call screener? What did he say? I got a question for, I got a question for coach about faith. I just want to talk to Coach about a verse in Proverbs. Yes, yes. I think that was probably it. I'm a, yes, 100%. I'm a former troupe who wants to talk about a Bible verse.

Fast fucking track directly through. Holy shit, you can have access to his email with that. How dare you speak to a veteran this way, Dambo? Yeah, come on, Davo. To the troop, no less. On a holiday, meant to honor our brave men and women overseas. Halloween Let's game this out

How would you guys Have responded to Tyler? I think you just No sell it, right? No sell it Because here's the thing He loses because he invoked The haters defense

Anytime you go Well you know what There's a lot of haters In this world And those haters just want to destroy things That means They've already won You already entertained them

Like isn't the perfect answer Here just do what Sabin would do Which is basically either Have some fun with it as he's done, or say like, well, we have a very high standard here, and we're going to work for you already. You know, we're just worried about the last four games of the season, got a lot to play, you know, a lot of tough teams left on the schedule.

I'm very proud of how hard our young men are working in practice to improve. And we, you know, it's ultimately, it's on me to get it correct. All that bullshit, and nobody would ever even know any of this happened. You have the producer, you have the producer hang up on Tyler in the background, and then you start talking about how much you appreciate the passion of Tyler and all your great Clemson fans. This is not hard. I see what, I know what Paul does.

Do you want to know what Paul? Oh, the trick of having the producer hang up on the while you're talking. That's correct. Having run enough of these shows, that's, I don't want to throw a producer of this show under the bus. It's not 101, but it's 102. Yeah, like, I've done this for Georgia. I've done this for Mississippi. I've done this for Florida State.

I've done this on the big call-in shows. Like, hang up the fucking phone, dude. What do you, why are you letting this? Like, as soon as he, as soon as the guy mentions Dabo's salary. and you don't drop him at that point you're just not doing your job that you're just not doing your job or you're like saboteur on the inside

like setting this up you're like all right yep this is what you wanted that we have two Tyler's here and one of them has the same on the button yeah you two are sick of dabbo shit how will you respond you know who that you know who that operator was the actual producer is bound

and gagged in the corner and Connor Stallions is sitting there like Distabilize. Disrupt. We're going to get there. But like, Holly is right. The, this is not a, this is not the hardest minefield you will encounter. And, and my main takeaway from this exchange is I really don't think Davo should ever get the Alabama job. That was thank you. That's exactly what I was about to say. That's what I disagree. This is like, this is a very bad season for Clemson. Like the list of coaches who

have gone four and four in a season of their recent set is like some guys that either the first or last year of their career or Tommy Bowden a bunch who you know why they didn't want Tommy Bowden there anymore and like I understand that that this may be very stressful for you but this is the kind of shit you will get at um weekly there are schools you'll get yelled at for not winning by enough there be so listen Tennessee is going to yell at you this Tennessee is going and yell at Josh Hippel this week because they didn't wear orange fucking pants. They had a weird uniform.

This is, I think, very indicative of the little bubble that a Clemson coach who's successful lives in because he has more than its geography plays a big thing here too. There's not, Auburn is close, but even Auburn has Alabama kind of right there to keep it in check. South Carolina's isolated media plays a huge part in how Davo plays nationally. Like, kudos to Alabama. I know that they are a program who has.

more than their share of people who will 100% just ask the question Nick wants to hear. But Nick has gotten off a number of heaters over the years because a lot of people in that press corps asked pointed questions of Nick. It happens. They don't really shy away from it. Volumetrically, there's more Alabama billwriters than there are in South Carolina. I know he does the NFL bit, but if you go back in the logs, Ian Rappaport has some hilarious exchanges with Nick where he's like, yeah, I don't give a fuck Nick. I answer this question. Nick's like, fuck you. It's great. That wouldn't fly at Clemson for three minutes

Like to be clear We're not saying like coaches shouldn't emote And coaches shouldn't be honest and like coach You know if like you're pushed You can't push back and all that shit But dabbo went way beyond And like revealed more insecurity Than anything else I think

The other way to play this I think you can have fun with it You can no sell it Or you can steer into it And just be like I'm more frustrated than anyone I am accustomed to us performing at a certain level And as the person in charge of it

As the person who is the face And the primary expense outlay For this program Like Tyler, if you're if you think you're mad Imagine how I feel And don't take it out on the fan Get in the pit with him Like it's it's just

There are multiple ways out And I'm really glad you said the thing about the Bama thing, because that's what I was also building to, not in a way of saying that, oh, this clearly shows that Davo is unqualified for Bama. Dabo has shown us time and again over the entire course of his coaching career that he would be fucking miserable at Bama. Like, it's, I'm not, I'm not even really concerned at this point about whether he would do the job.

He would be deeply unhappy. How, my- And probably not that much richer. I haven't thought about this in any, detail, but like how much of both the Clemson backslide and Dabo's sort of like increasing friction publicly, how much of that has to do with Dan Redicovic going to Miami and not being there with him at Clemson anymore? 100% because the last time that he was really threatened at Clemson, he got saved by the AD's

mercy, okay? I believe that was year three. Yeah. Where, you know, they brought him in the office. He thought he was going to get fired. And they extended him. That was the last time that, like, the blade hung over his head, right? But he knew that athletic director and things were fine.

Things are changing. These are going to be strangers he's going to be involved with who are going to decide, help decide the fate of the program. And I think it's pretty clear if you listen to this and to anything else he said in the past two or three years that he is firmly in La Tassebois territory when it comes to what he thinks Clemson is. He's the program. Daubo the do fat.

Like, go back and look. Like, y'all have won anything in 35? five years and then I I became the program like that this is really what said it we haven't even hit the part that that what I think was the meanest part in there where he compared him to a bowden yeah which honestly that might have put me I would have been telling you all my PRs compared me to Tommy Bowden I would have dove through the fuck I would the unfair thing he said really that's the only thing that's not he almost he almost he almost crosses over the line of like look at all your other precious coaches that I have been better than he doesn't

come out and say that, but he goes to the list and he's like, he had a bad year? This guy had a bad year? Coach K for some reason. Sure. We're thinking. That is an insight into how he feels about himself, I think. It's worth noting he views himself in the same light as Coach K.

I think it's fair for him to view himself in the same light as Frank Howard and Danny Ford. 100%. Frank Howard never even won a national championship at Clemson. And Danny Ford's time there while successful is marred by scandal. so um listen i i i just playing his own little pd pd pablo game he thinks he's coach yeah he thinks he's right okay no i i thought he was just grabbing like north carolina superlatives he's like doesn't bo jangles put out a bad meal no we're back to pd pablo yes yeah you've been to cook out at two in the

afternoon you know what's there yeah i um you know what he should have done he should have said here are all the south carolina gamecock coaches that i am way fucking better that it's all right So now everyone's cheering. Great. That's right. So, Ryan, you said Clemson, backslide. Yep, that's the right term. Spencer, when you mentioned the whole like 35 years we were nothing until I showed up.

That is very much. God's anointing fell on this program. Coincidentally, it happened when I showed up. These things are independent events. I have no control over when God's anointing shows up. Just so happens I'm the guy who is here along with it. If I were to leave, would God also leave it? Who's the judge?

Who's to say? If you don't pay me $11 million a year, the crops won't come in. Right. Yeah. Nothing about this dialogue, nothing about this dialogue or this monologue confirms anything but this for me that he's a deadender. He's never coaching anywhere else. He thinks he's the program. But he also wants, he also is very clear.

He's like, I'll leave. I think I agree that it feels. very empty, but I think there is an element of like, again, going back to the eye part of it, it's like, you can put me anywhere and I will do this shit again. And that is so not true. Oh, my God. I think, like, the number of coaches for whom that has been true is breathtakingly small. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. One hand. I mean, what, yeah, I can, I can name him. Nick, right? Saban did it. That's someone did it. Urban Meyer did it. Yep.

Okay. Yep. Finite. And note the level of... I will say the only... Note the level of second job we're talking about there. Right? Yeah.

Name a guy, like, honestly, and name people who have even been good at two schools. Howard Schnollaburger's been good at two schools. And then he flamed out at Oklahoma. Yeah, he did. Bear Bryant was fine. I think that's pretty good. You have to go real high up on the tree. Like Brian Kelly might be...

Brian Kelly's been good at two schools. Let's put a pit of... than that. He's been good. We can say good. Sure. Yeah, that's fair. He's been, I mean, he's been historically, uh, historically, uh,

historically, uh, adequate to above average at two different schools. Sure. Sure. It's, yeah. It's, it's, it's, Nick Saving and Urban Meyer are the only two, right? Pete Carroll at the, Pete Carroll at the university of C Hawks. Recent champions. Is that?

Yeah. If we count that. Yeah. Okay. Chip. We got it. We got, we have, but even not. I don't think so.

Not even touching the. Yeah. I mean, that's just like, I was just thinking of like Okay, Matt I was thinking Chip is in Marquis job to Marquis Mac to me is the best

To Wayne in Texas Mac to me is like What Mac? His first His first tint at Carolina was Yeah, his first thing to Carolina was real good It was really good

But it wasn't great It wasn't incredible It's not what Dabbe was getting at But he has a title He has a title And he's been good To two schools Yeah, that's true

Yeah And that Texas run That feels closest to Clemson's run to me like Texas is right there for a second title they're like real close you know they didn't quite hit on quarterbacks quite the same way Clemson did I think Clemson was better overall but that's the run like if you had to slot it like I'd put Clemson right there and then underneath it is like Mac Brown's Texas Mac Brown is very much the same like

talking about sort of like kind of whiny and loves to sort of trot out some bullshit about why it's not like this feels this feels very mac brown and i think we will i think it is more likely that we will look back on dabbo as a like luxury version of mac brown where we'll say like achieved more did better but ultimately like sort of fell into that category of like what if mac brown had won another title i just see like an 80s luxury car when you say the luxury mac the luxury mac ground with the white walls you know how there will be like manufacturers that they're like they make the same car but this one's the mercury is super nice store brand one of those vans that has the velvet drapes in the vCR yeah yeah this is this is an old this is the oldsmobile

did you know trader joe sells dabbo swinny as mac brown yeah you could but you know you can just get dabbo swindy at aldi dinted dabbo it's the same daboo yeah and like ultimately it's so stupid anyway because it's just like nobody's going to care as long as you get good again like in the same way that like people don't appreciate what you've already done if you turn around and fix it within two years nobody's going to care about the four loss season nobody's going to give a single shit about it yeah it's not going to be a full loss season though okay all right as of today's the four loss Four plus. That's the other thing is I think Davo is somehow underselling exactly how bad this year has been.

And I think that's a really big mistake, frankly. Like, it's so bad that the long-term concerns are extremely obvious. Even, I mean, maybe it's, maybe it's that. Maybe it's just like it's been an extremely, like, their fumble luck has been terrible. They've been weirdly bad in the red zone. you know, like there, there are things you can point to to say maybe these things do not repeat. But at the very least, I think you sort of have to, when you answer this question, you have to step back and say like, yeah, this is the first season where we, even in the like most analytically oriented perspective, we're playing like a barely top 25 team. And that's not what people have come to expect.

like we are playing like the teams that are beating us we're playing like rebuilding miami and perpetually eight win nc state like that's what that's what we look like and that's not what people have come to expect or appreciate about clumson i do think dabo should have shot on nc state that would have probably that would have been a good idea listen listen dave dorin's ready to fight i don't think that's the move i love it let's get some action yeah Dave doren's sitting there like Dave dorin's sitting there like the stasi right like he's got all the phones tapped Dave Doran is the one who took out the producer

That's right Do you're in the booths Let him talk Let him talk Say your piece Um Say your piece Then I'll give you

I'll give you two pieces It's so much money to just take a little bit of shit From people It is like that's what Do you come around like Have you ever seen somebody be really mean To like a server at a restaurant Or a cashier somewhere

like they got to do that shit for no money you got to take one mean phone call for $11 million fuck off and it wasn't even mean there's a lot of there's a lot of that's what the money's for here a lot of that like that's what the money's for you know that's what honestly man that's again this is what this is why nick nick plays it great because he's like oh i don't know just i still get paid i mean Spencer is fine that scene literally is like the appreciation is the money that is that is the actual madman scene right I think Jason is right ultimately that like so much of Dabo's sense of worth, not financial, but personal and emotional, is caught up in how much he's paid, that he's on this sort of pedestal, how much he's accomplished that for people, when people attack it, he can't detach it from like, yeah, $11 million is a lot of money to go for and for. That's true. That's a very good point. It becomes like intense. personal and it has to become like, I'm a good dad.

This was the same, this was when Mike Gundy went off the rails, remember? Like, when Mike Gundy... But that was because he was defending a player. Well, right. There was at least a better motivation for that. But what happens is you start grabbing everything because you've hit a point of insecurity so deep that at one point you have to remind people of your basic status, right? Like, yeah, I'm 503. I'm standing here on Earth. I drive a Dodd Stratus.

I drive it. Yeah, you just have to like start. Ten fingers, ten toes, just like everybody else. Seven on my left foot, three on my right. I want the fifth grade spelling me, and it was hard. Yeah, exactly, right? I've never failed. Mabo, I was at your first orange bowl.

That's not entirely true. I was a part of that failure. But I never failed. What does that mean? So, yeah, like, that means everyone around me failed. The Titanic sank, not me. Yeah, and this is, this is, this is by, by the way, like, this is...

This is the longest cold open we've ever done. Swim, swim, swim. I'm succeeding. I found a nice piece of wreckage. I'm 53 on this wreckage right now. I pushed a man off the door. Yeah. It's going 500.

Like, God damn. Jack was weighing down the raft. The great joy of not dying and aging should be in... I don't care. It should be... Like, it should be... That should be the consolation for you. Getting $11 million a year and living past the age of 50,

you should be pretty good even if you're going through a bad time at work. That's not what this sounds like. I mean, Daba also doesn't want to coach at the school that feels the way he wants Clemson fans to feel. Kentucky is an example we use, and I don't think we're going to piss Kentucky fans off by saying this. But part of why Mark Stoops has such a good job is that the expectation, are super achievable and super normal.

And it's not because Kentucky fans don't care about football. It's because basketball is where they put all their crazy. And Dabo doesn't want to go. Like if you said, okay, Dabbo, you can go have the Kentucky job right now with the exact same expectations that come with it and the salary that comes with it. He wouldn't take it. These guys are all achievement monsters and like must push yourself and strive for greatness in everything.

but then get mad when that attitude is reflected by the environment that they have created and that's insane like either you can't say like I love work life balance

but god damn it I'm gonna crush life every goddamn day yeah it like ultimately I painted many models I've I can't press 275 pounds

they said I couldn't have any orcs I have dozens I have many I walk 10,000 steps a day on average. I would have liked this rant so much better if there had been a two-minute interlude on the D&D character Dabo created 20 years ago and how he's nurtured this druid

over the years and learned so many spells and got on so many adventures. I roll a cleric clad and only the most exotic leathers. Probably a paladin. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, he would be a paladin. That's right, yeah. Herman. Yeah, is that too Furman. That is a good question.

Furman, number two in the FCS rankings, by the way. Furman. That's right. That's higher the Clemson. Best team in South Carolina. They wear purple. That's again. Best purple team in South Carolina. Best purple team. Yeah, I don't get it. I don't get it. Like, of all the, like, the last point, why you want to stick out like a sore thumb

in a year like this, unless you think you're the program? You just keep it institutional, buddy. just be like hey we're gonna we're gonna reboot also one other thing yeah just be like shame bemer just kick some shit and break your foot like that's super relatable that is so real that's yeah when someone asks how you're doing you're like shit buddy zero cachet for doing that yeah we're getting her ass beat because everybody has fucking been there i think shame beamer is like one way and he's a fit for that program is that he is like a guy who's being overwhelmed in a bar fight mid scene you know when they like

they wind up on a table and they see a beer that that nobody's drinking and they go, well, I'm about to get punched again. Might as well take a sip. Right? Like the little comic, that's Shane Beamer at South Carolina.

I forget if we said it on the after dark or beforehand or whatever, but like Shane Beamer, the way he talks about his program is like, it's so hard here. We're all trying really hard. I like my players. My players are doing their best. He says all that great shit,

all that great vibe shit that like, honestly, man, if you're not going to win a national title, I'd rather have that shit. it, then go 10 and 2. Certainly more than 4 and 4. It's like, our pets' heads are falling off. I'm just so happy to be here.

Yeah. I'm joking, but Jason's right. Well, that's what, well, ironically, that's one of real humility. That's one of real humility. Like, that's, I think, what was the most relatable. You also, yeah, you, you come off, I don't think humility is that important personally, but you come off like a person. Yeah, not.

When your entire brand is based around, I am, you know, I am a devout man of faith or whatever you said, the humility standard for you is higher. Yeah, I pull myself up by my Christian bootstraps, yes. Yeah. You're the one who asked for that standard. Yeah. A lot of me speak for the minority here when somebody says, minority of Americans, I guess when you say, I'm a man of faith. I'm like, eh, eh. What is that, like, what is that supposed to do for me, right?

Like, is that supposed to tell me anything good or bad about you? That is value neutral. I'm an HBO Mac subscriber. Okay. I drive a blue car. I like that it's used here as kind of a replacement for, no offense, but, like, it's like, I'll say I'm a man of faith and you'll say you're a man of faith, and therefore, everything is theoretically ratcheted down a notch. Yeah. I do.

Now I'm a man of faith, but you're cooking fucking sucks, Grandma. Yeah. No offense. It's no offense, right? It's like, hey, no offense, but. Hit by Nick Kostelamos. We need to splice it into the dabbering.

I'm a man of faith, but all your kids smell like swamp ass. No, it's not but it's and. Hey, listen, I'm a man of faith, and all your kids smell like swamp ass. That's using the faith to bolster the argument. He's using the wrong conjunction here. Yeah. But like, it should have all been the last, the next last, a sentence, which is, you ain't got to talk to me like I'm 12 years old.

That's fine. That's fine. That's the most acceptable sentiment in all of this, just to be like, yeah, man, I don't have to do this. Jesus. By the way, last four games, I do want to mention their last four games because they're funnier to mention now after we've talked about this. Okay.

Do you want to do the welcome first? Welcome to the shutdown fullcast here an hour and 10 minutes in. Oh, right. This episode is brought to you by Coors Light. The previous hour was also brought to you by Coors Life. Davo, maybe crack a couple. Davo, if you're allowed to chill, this is the way to do it. I drink beer.

I weigh 180 pounds. Tyler's the one need to chill. Tyler, is your kind of blue? Davo and Tyler maybe crack a few together as men of faith. Yeah. We could have a little summit. I own a Blackstone Grill and I've, used it three times.

I'm in comblets. I played Mass Effect 1, but not two. Was I horny for the aliens? Mind your own business. That's the point of the game. Why wouldn't I be? This is making Davo strangely likable. I know.

He's just getting more. See, this is what he should have talked about. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, he should have gone full Kenny powers. He should have been like, I got two jet skis. Tyler, do you even have one? He's so fucking close.

He's so close to doing that. Like he says, I'm sure you're good at your job. If you have one. He doesn't say if you have one, but it's very much implied. Tyler, I used to share a bed with my mom and I'd happily share a bed with yours. Tyler, I'm going to Shaboons.

He's so close to taking that road and it would have been better than what he did. Dabo, we're just humble shepherds over here, showing you paths. and I hope you take this these pieces of advice in the spirit in which they were intended I go to Universal Studios for lunch

I don't even go on the rides I'm rich I am The last four games Front seat in my car A whole wheel well is full of butter beer coats I bought out a whole fucking food lion I don't even like it I threw it all the way

I gave it all to Aldi Yeah Oh That's not sland That's why they call me dented dabbo. I bet you shop at Ingalls. Speaking of cans, I'd like to dent. How is your mom?

Holy shit. Oh, my God. All right. Congrats the new Clemson Head Coach. When's Wanda from Spartanburg calling him? Now Debo's got to call you dead. this is this now sets up a scenario where I would hear the Clemson head football coach hit Wanda up and go like hey it's Wanda from Spartanburg and Holly would be like what up bitch I would so love Wanda yeah um so their last four games a month ago seemed far more winnable than they do at the moment I mean the first eight did so yeah yeah I kept because I kept saying like well You know, because I thought, oh, the weekend without looking.

I was like, I thought I remember what they were. I'll look that up this week. That's, first of all, Notre Dame comes to town. That's best two lost team in the country, Notre Dame. And sexy Notre Dame, Sam Hartman. Yeah, yeah, vastly hotter than Clemson. They're listening. Yeah.

Notre Dame's PR staff is listening, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. There's also that thing where people are going to be like, all right, Notre Dame, and fight for the rest of us and Notre Dame's going to be like oh I poop my pants I'm like historically how has that worked out? Oh, too much gluten

oh that dragon was scary yeah so don't depend on that that to me is still very much in game this feels like one of those November surprises where you go so we've decided this number 12 ranked team is in fact good because they beat Pitt

and not just because they beat Pitt but they've improved But I don't know. Yeah, which says data points are both. God, Pat and Ardizzi would be an amazing USC coach. That's for another show. Keep going. He'd be incredible.

Yeah, if we score 31 points, we've done something wrong. Pat and Ardicee with access to unlimited antiquity metaphors. Yeah. Fuck. Let me take you deep into the Wildners with the other, with the second game remaining on their schedule. On November 11th, they host Georgia Tech. That is, good fucking luck. Even week, Georgia Tech.

Yep. Yeah. Hey, y'all want to go? Possibly. No. Then November 18th, oh God. We were just talking about the mirror image, the older mirror image of this man. You said it was going to get weird and here we go.

Yep, UNC Clemson. All three of these games are at Clemson. However, they all involve Clemson. So, yeah. That's the only one I feel like we're going to win. I think that's fair. I feel good about you in that one. The other two are very dangerous.

and then the game where I think you can throw out the records because they probably deserve to be thrown out for this year at least anyway Clemson, South Carolina South Carolina's bad. Don't throw the records out. Throw them at an opposing fan as hard as you can. Throw him a Tyler. See if he's got records. He probably still does, broke ass.

Doesn't even have a CD-ROM in his house like I do. Damn, I got exquisite CD-ROMs. I'm surrounded by that. Six changers, Tyler. In Cardo. I bet your dumb ass is opening your folder changing CDs in the drive. Fucking stoplight, I hop out and I walk around to my trunk and I rifle through my mini-hillsong CDs to select which six, no, 12 I would most like to listen to.

That's right. Dabo's got like one bad rap album he listens to, right? I got Jeremy Camp back there. It's Eminem. You think, oh, lose yourself. you think he just looks at that's uh it's christian rapper em and em yes so yes okay yeah kj 5 2 is is that is that is that rapper seven of you know what i'm talking about i love you all that's really good vomit on a sweater vest um yeah there's what i'm saying is that there is

i will accept any record across these last four games if you tell me that that's what they're going to do i have no goddamn clue given how inconcerns consistent they've been anything any combination of oh and four to four and oh could happen across these last four games the problem is I think with the exception of Notre Dame I think you can beat Notre Dame close and that will be enough to sort of be like okay this is a positive step forward the other three teams if you win but you win like oh we beat them by four and they threw a pick in the end zone at the end of the game like it doesn't feel like that really advances the like things are improving narrative that things are getting turned around there is

the value here is is so upside down that really I think what like I think what you want to see if you're a Clemson fan is stomp one of these teams preferably stomp South Carolina if you can be if you can get to the end of the year you can beat South Carolina by 30 points like that's going to make a lot of things easier for some people it's why we hired your brook ass in the first place. Beets furry. I think like if you end up nine and four and it's like wow, wow, they really pulled through, you know? The lingering memory of this tantrum and the like stubbornness it evinced is still going to make that feel a little bit empty.

You know what I mean? Because like, potentially, like. Unless, unless. Unless. Davo gets mayonnaise dumped on his head at the Mayo Bowl. Okay, okay. Which, this is the first time Clemson's been, like, and they have, they have ways to go before their mid,

but to get to that, like, upper, upper mid section of the ACC to go to that bowl, because it's always going to be, it's always been orange, peach, or, you know, what's now the Pop-Tart Bowl, was the Cheez-It Bowl, was kind of where they were in play for. But now that they've dropped more to the middle of the pack, it's more likelihood of the Mayo Bowl, especially with the geography of that matchup I bet you're a helman's man Tyler

oh oh oh that's hate it so what if that but just said like too far move I just want to experience more of the ACCC's bowl lineup that's why we're doing this what if you just said that

I do have a bit of good news does anybody know who Clemson opens next season against yep uh-uh server share with the class Go dogs Sick him

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Oh! I'm not doing that again. Good news for home. Oh, no. At the Mercedes-Benz Stadium Stadium. Oh, the Chicken Flay game, all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Clemson's schedule after that complete ass for the rest of the year. Like, the home slate is not great if you're wanting to go to a home game next year. But the schedule, really not. Like, they've dodged most of the game. of the bullets in the ACC.

So they don't have to play like, figure to play Stanford and... They do have to play Stanford, unfortunately. Oh, they host Stanford, they host Stanford. They don't have to play... But like, yeah. Yeah, they play Stanford and SMU next year, I think. Sure, so...

Not SMU. Is it not SMU? That might have been Cal. Duck and SMU. So I'm just easy schedule, apparent upturn, corrections made in the offseason. That means I'm booking Garrett Riley leaves and one of Davo's kids appointed QB coach. Got it.

Just putting that on the record. That always goes well. The second game is App State. The second game is App State, who will probably be better next year. Two really great ideas. And that could be O and two. Real quick, speaking of sons,

let's briefly pay tribute to Brian Farrantz, who is on his way out as Iowa offensive coordinator. Ticket. to get fired after the least ugly week Iowa's had on offense. It was just particularly cool. Robbie Callan had the best point, which is like, as soon as the 29.5 underhit for the Northwestern game, they were like, okay, fuck this.

But they were like, the line must be drawn. They were like, we got to let him enjoy this one. He, you know, he's done all this sewing to earn this 29.5 point total. It's time. to, well, not reap, but. Chris, Chris Van Amie pointed this out as well, and I can't think of one. Since when do coordinators get to coach out the season

when they get fired in the middle? Like, that shit never happens. He's really bad. We're signing up for exactly this many more installments of badness. We've already bought them. We might as well use them. It's like a Columbia house thing. You can cancel, but it takes like eight weeks.

It's a process. Woo, that chicken's bad. Well, we better eat all of it. If you're not 18, the contract's not binding. Are we sure he's over 18? It's very old looking 16. It could be. Well, congratulations to Iowa fans.

Now you have the specter of Kirk Farrin's having to hire a new offensive coordinator, which... It's me. I'm doing it. Oh, God. It could be any of us. It could be any of us. I met Kirk was taking the job himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Imagine the horror. Could I make one of your phones ring or? right now. Well, I've decided I'm going to handle play calling. I think the problem is I've been delegated too much over the last few years. I just need to get my hands on this. Just devote all my attention to that side of the ball. Can you imagine?

Davo has an open invitation to call plays here. He'd line up in four wide to start and they'd be like, oh, no, no, no, no, brother. No, no. Gotcha. Yeah, one, one personnel? No, sir. Get that shit out of here. yeah then now they have to do this because remember the last time they did this it was the people who have been

coordinators at iowa include such luminary names as ken o'keef and uh and and gregg davis yeah gregg davis like the the taste that we're going for here uh gregg davis when chris sims went to the NFL they were like how would you read this and chris sims said well this play you really want to throw the running back first and they were like okay what about this play and they're like Well, the first read is the running back. And then they're like, what about this play? And they go, you'll never believe it. The running back is the first read.

It's the exact reverse of pretty much every major passing read ever. And that's the way that Kirk Ferrence was like, that fucker, I'm hiring him. He gets it. Mentioning those Iowa OCs just makes me realize that, like, ever since that, like, 02 to 04 run when Iowa had good offenses, like the Brad Banks years, since then, like Iowa fans have been sick of this shit for like 16 years something like that

I hope they get something good man I refuse to accept the idea that scoring like 10 points more that scoring like 28 points a game would completely disrupt the delicate ecosystem of Iowa winning eight games a year right

that they'd be like no no no that upsets the whole thing this is very much an old guy who's like don't touch the ferns on my desk they help me think like that's scoring 28 a game would bring them up to 68th in the country tied with the Florida Gators yeah baby so by the way one of the one of the nominees that the internet really liked in terms of potential offensive coordinators who were just as bad as Brian Farrant John Donovan former Penn State and Washington offensive coordinator aka the kiss of death uh John Donovan who is now an offensive analyst where that's right the

University of Florida well so is everyone they have like 15 it's fine that's true are we gonna talk about our sweet Connor it's time for this week and espionage I think you mean I think you mean agent four agent four agent four your mission if you so accept it shit man after after intercepting the signals of every major power in the big 10 code name fan arbor code name fan arbor uh Agent 4, if you accept it, your mission is to infiltrate the facility at Central Michigan. Actually, it was at Michigan State. And to appear on the sidelines wearing a Central Michigan shirt and a goatee.

Right behind their coaching staff. On TV. Like you are at G.D. Fantasy Camp. Y'all, this guy's a bunny boiler. Yeah. 100%. Do you think anyone asked him to do this? It's so stupid that if they did, that person needs to be fired to immediately.

Is it possible he was just doing this just to see if he could? Like at some point, does this become that thing from heat where it's like the action is the juice? Does this is king? Is that what you're saying? Yes. If it were not for the presence of the 500-page manifest? six hundred jason you wrote a book yeah it's about it's uh would you do it for a gas it's about half that size so my god that's a big google talk funzies oh god yeah yeah what was he writing

that thing on i need to know i think it was a google dog that's got chug yeah oh his the machine he used yeah yeah I agree with Victoria Zeller, who said, like, oh, oh, so man can't celebrate Halloween now. That's true. A man can't just put on a central Michigan uniform and stand around. Fire up chips. I just, if I were going to commit some sort of football espionage, I would not do it with so many television cameras involved. Because now it feels like Connor Stallions has opened.

Like, the level of sleutory that is going on for people to be like, let's go back. Like, he's fucking Michigan, Waldo. Let's find him in every college football game of the last two years. The forest gump of Michigan, yeah. Yeah. My favorite part of it is Michigan fans online are reminding everyone that they are the best at, like, MS. Paints, Zaprudering. We haven't seen it since The Spot game, 2016, Ohio State, after which, like, everything on the college football internet

was like weirdly zoomed in and cropped and had all sorts of lines drawn on it The curvature of the earth suggests that actually This is not a joke

I genuinely forget What is our position on whether this spot was good? This spot was good Was it good? It was good I don't even remember what side that puts us on

It puts us on the Ohio State side Unfortunately it weren't Oh that does feel bad You can't You can't ever just be confident That this thing is done Which is delightful You can't prove

a negative, you can't prove he's not there. Like, how do you know Connor Stallings isn't in your house right now? Watching poop. You can't know that. You don't know. He paid himself to look like a toilet. I have read Michigan fans saying that his earlobes were wrong in the photo.

Oh my God. Yeah. There was like every part of his face you can find a Michigan fan online saying, uh, that's this other guy. because look at this cheekbone or Adam's apple or whatever. It's also the fun thing where Michigan fans are doing the two argument thing, where it's like, there is no way this was Connor Stallions.

Here is a bunch of proof. And therefore... And also, we had no idea. We didn't tell him to do any of this shit. Not only did he not do it, it's not my fault. Let me just counter the argument with one man couldn't have done of this take a take a is pretty much refutes all of this one man can do all of that okay in terms of spree it can happen this is my favorite thing when people go completely off the deep end to excuse

something pretty mundane which is that this dude was fucking nuts like absolutely nuts i my my only regret is that conter science doesn't look exactly like roger sherman so that as roger is going around stadiums now, everybody would be like, holy shit, he's unrepentant. He's scouting NIA dynasty Northwestern, the other Northwestern.

This criminal knows no limits. The game has no fences. It's everywhere, man. You just got to keep it, keep it going. There are no bad ideas. I love it. I love it.

That's a good attitude. Yeah, there are no bad ideas. That's what you say next time. All right. Tim Tyler hits you up, say, oh, thank you. Thank you, Tyler. We got a program. Some guys got, got dang old Connor Scalions out there.

But we got just, we got, we got Tyler. That's who we got. I just, Connor, if you're listening to this, you got to know your worth. For 55 grand a year, I'm not spending an off day sneaking into a central Michigan, Michigan state game. I'm just not doing it. Like, you got to, you got to at least get me up to. 80 for that.

It's just not, this is, this is LinkedIning too hard. So I can learn the secrets, so, which I, like, so I can learn the secrets of Jim McElwain. So I could, so I could find a way for Michigan to defeat Michigan State.

Thank God. It's pretty obvious. You saved us. Yeah. It might have been 48 to nothing. The best part is I know a number of Michigan fans who would have done this if that was the requirement for beating Michigan State.

Some people, some people with otherwise successful professional lives who have achieved a lot who would have dressed up in a central Michigan shirt to try to get Michigan States. They would have done it. I hope the NCAA comes down and it's like, we're issuing a 10-year show cause for Connish Stallions and to become a part of a college football program again, he has to show us a second hobby. We don't care what it is. We don't care if it's particularly useful or interesting. He just has to develop a second

interest. It can't all be Michigan football. Does every coach? Is that a test? Every coach has to pass? Because we're going to have a lot of open jobs. On the bright side, imagine what a nightmare they would all be an adult kickball. This is where we form our hobby consultancy. That's it.

When they do this, we form the, like, they're like, I got to lie and say I have another hobby. And we're like, Gus Mel on. Have you ever considered Orienteering? Yeah. Have you ever considered disc golf? Dancing. I love puzzling. We know he's a dancer.

That's it. I love. Confirmedica. It's like finding an alibi. Hi, I'm Chip Kelly. I'm here to talk to you about mixology. I'm PJ Fleck and I love blues harmonica.

Oh, you know. Man, he just bit clean through it. It was crazy. He was just sick. Imagine that, dude. Imagine the... Imagine... Imagine...

P.J., don't chew it. Fresh metal harmonica. I just thought about the cringe that I would experience if P.J. Fletk got up on stage at a bar I was at. It was like, I'd like to explain my passion for the harmonica. Like, I actually, in my head, made the... Like, run out of the bar. I'd have to film it to keep from dying of cringe. Yeah, this is...

Connor Snellians is a very valuable lesson and, like, you've got to have multiple things going on to your life. You can't find yourself stooping to this level of nonsense because you just didn't have a friend to go hang out with. Like, even Jim Harbaugh, we say Jim Harbaugh is all ball. No. You know what Jim Harbaugh? It's a very hard to say this is bloggers. Yeah. You know what Jim Harbaugh was also about being the cool guy.

The Pope? That's right. Cool jock. Jim Harbaugh's secondary interest is the Pope. Yeah. Yeah. He likes burgers. He likes pretending to know rappers. He likes pretending to know the Pope.

Likes being a cool jock. If Jim Harvon could have a burger with the Pope, that would be the best day ever for him. And Migos, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Also taking the kids to a monument of some sort, right? Like that's another, like, he is the dad who's like, world's largest ball of twine.

Pull over. World War II stuff happened at the world's largest ball of twine. Let's have a burger. Yeah. At least Steve Spurrier was very up front. He's like, I'm going golf and fuck recruiting. I like Spurrier would imply that people were losers if they weren't too hard. He's like, what, you still in the office?

Fucking loser? This is, this is all, yes, this is all like, you remember when we used to get those like glowing profiles of John Gruden in the NFL would be like, he sleeps on his floor and he just eats whatever he finds there because he can't possibly stop grinding tape. And now, and cut to a few years later, you're like, oh, John Gruden's a real fucked up, dude. It's like, this is the fault of all of those profiles who convinced, who convinced a certain type of person, like, if I just, if I just find a way to make my lungs breathe football instead of air, I will ascend to a level unknown. They haven't stopped. Mike McDaniel, like, Mike McDaniel, like, you know, the cool coach, right? Like, hey, I'm the guy who's, you know, I'm the millennial coach.

the preview that I saw, which was, you know, like the element that was, you know, an actual story, you go, okay, well, you know, he had an alcohol problem and he got sober and he did a lot of work to make that happen. And good job. Congratulations. But guess when he was showing up at work, he was showing up at work at like 315. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, 315. So you're like, this is all very commendable. And that shit hasn't changed at all. Meanwhile, Spurrier was like, I don't know, it's 330. We've already got a game plan? Okay. Well. Seems like the course... What do you mean? Game kicks in 30 minutes. The courses are calling? Get my putting green out.