Shutdown Fullcast - Dawg For A Day - Championship Week Reviewed

Episode Date: December 3, 2018

I'm gonna be straight with you: I (Ryan) am pretty sleepy this morning so I did not go through the podcast for timestamps of what we discussed. I do know that we hit every conference championship game in some form or another, and that we did not let Iowa State almost losing to Drake escape our watch, and that this episode is brought to you by our friends at LEGO. But I still love you and want you to do great things and I will hopefully time stamp the next episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast, the only, the only, the internet's only, only college football podcast. Hey, y'all, it was championship weekend. And now, as promised, going in, we didn't have no champions. And coming out, we got some official champions. So I'm sure that solved everything about this extremely well-run, well-managed, and definitive sport, right? yes there good to go no more controversies from here on out everyone agreed on uh actually that ended the season right it's championship weekend now we got champs what more do we need done yeah we should leave what else is there to resolve here this is all epilogue it's well college football

like many stories has multiple epilogs and a very shady series of annotations epilogs ending codas code of sales, clarifications, exhibitions, special DLC. That's really what the entire bowl season is. It's downloadable. Scour some shires, y'all. Yeah, we do. You thought you were done, but that was just the main quest.

College football has a good ending and a bad ending, depending on how you played. Sometimes split endings, too, in past years. Yeah, sometimes they're ambiguous endings. Like, Ole Miss, you got the bad ending. you did you you you're supposed to insert disc two but you didn't have disc two at all old miss isn't that what you were playing for really the bad ending right yeah you're playing for low honor all oh god bad ending has so many unfortunate connotations jesus they were playing

for the unhappy ending now if you were only sort of good then you only get the sort of good ending. You don't unlock the full good ending, right? So you're talking about the Sun Bowl. Well, you might unlock one of the less imaginative ones, but sure, the Sun Bowl seems to me like if you just completed the game without doing a single side mission, right? Right. Like, if you just... 45% complete.

Like, you got to the last mission in the game, but you did nothing the game actually wanted you to do. Congratulations. The sunbelt is for speedrunners. Not only did you, not only did you skip all the side missions, you like X'd through all the dialogue and the cutscenes. Actually. Just get to the end.

Hurry. That sort of explains like Pitt in the ACC title game. Like, wait, what was our mission? What were we supposed to do? We're supposed to collect the what? Well, and they just basically, if you had to give Pitt a grade on the season, you'd give them a C for passing, right?

As in El Paso. You get the El Paso. Paso, Pitt. That's how you say the passer in Spanish. No, why would Pitt have anything to do with that? Let's remember Pitt's record in the Sun Bowl. They did win. Actually, they lost that game, didn't they?

The Oregon State game? Yeah, they lost that game. They tried like a 50... We're going to do a video about it. Spoiler. Time for El Paso Vengeance. Oh, that excites me. They attempted like a 57-yard field.

please make sure you capture the footage of Dave Wonstat Bronx cheering his own team you guys get down get down burr burr maybe the worst that is still

the worst football game I have ever watched I've never seen and that comes in a long streak of sun bowls where one or both teams obviously hung over and still suffering from alcohol poisoning. Did FAU make a bull?

They did not. They did not. Lane Kiffin is busy with other endeavors. Doesn't mean you can't get alcohol poisoning, though. True. It's a, it's a all rectangles, all squares are rectangles, not all rectangles are squares kind of thing.

Christmas is four above of you. Did you, maybe if you did just reasonably well. You get the ending you deserve, i.e. the one that, you know, wasn't very imaginative and that you might have seen in another previous installment of the game and or series. Like, I don't know, do you want an outback bowl with Iowa and Mississippi State? No, something less imaginative. Something that really might have happened before, you know? Is everybody involved not tired at this game yet? I was astonished. They did that. No, no, we're still doing it, except we just keep moving.

it around right it's like it's a damn shell game all those damn big 10 SEC florida bowls they just slide them around each year so this is going to be iowa's i think this is accurate this is going to be iowa's sixth outback bowl which the outback god's have been around since what 99 from a culinary standpoint they got to be happy about that which now ties them with michigan for most outback's bull i outback is basically a sister city to Iowa. Yeah. That's true.

That's true. Two vegetables in Iowa. Shrimp and coconut and blooming onions. That's it. I thought you were going to say shrimp and coconut shrimp. Like cucumber and zucchini. That's all they got. I thought you were going to say shrimp and corn shrimp.

Wouldn't corn shrimp just be cockroaches? Oh. Outback. No rules. The Peach Bowl, by the way. We've played Michigan so many times that when I found out it was the Beach Bowl sitting here.

No. No. We'll never. Wouldn't it be funny to beat this Michigan team though? It wasn't really funny to beat the other ones. It would give them a serious complex. It really would. But that's not how this works. We don't beat Michigan. That doesn't happen. South Carolina can beat Michigan. Oh yeah.

That can happen. We can't. We will not beat Michigan the Peach Bowl. Your teams are in a bowl. Come, I couldn't imagine. Couldn't be me. Can't relate. Can't relate, y'all.

Couldn't be Holly's problem. What kind of ending is USF winding up in Tampa? Is that like, it's like your, is the game over? You had a corrupted save and had to start the game over.

No, no, that's the end of the Dark Tower series. Spoilers. No, you know in Zelda, when you beat the game and nothing happens? Right. You know, they're just like, Gannon's still there. Is Zelda 1, you beat the game, and then you're immediately on, like, hard mode? Yeah, that's it, that's it.

No, wait, it's in a Super Mario world where you've got to fight your way back, but everything's like Halloween themed. Yeah. Or it was all a dream. It's the old Bobby Dallas ending, right? It's Mario 2, yeah, it is Mario 2. Or Mario 2. Everything that happened? Skip Holtz is kind of shaped like toad.

Oh, we're back to this. Yeah. Paul Johnson is Berto. He doesn't care. I can't, I just, I, y'all, I thought I had more time with my sweet boy. I'm sorry. Oh, that's. He gets to go out somewhere.

You could probably invite him on vacation now. Oh, yeah. At least he gets to go out somewhere in glamorous. Georgia Tech is in the Quick Lane Bowl. Where's that, Jason? That's in Detroit. Interesting. Can you think of any?

Which when, when asked Paul Johnson said, uh, well, at least it's indoors and the players got a lot of gifts. he has been doing this correct amount of years just print that on the banners already quickly it's indoors put it on the quote meme I was really hoping that they would get the military bowl it's in Annapolis his old stadium

that would have been perfect but no let's ship him to a bowl named after like a regional I don't know what it is the quick change center yeah I think it's like a pet boys type deal yeah they've only been sponsoring this for like five years and I don't really know what it is. That's a really good investment. Quick Lane Bowl is also a handjob joke about Lane Kiffin. God, this podcast is terrible.

How did Hugh Freeze escape that? We already hit him. It's fine. This is not the 4440 bowl preview though. Let's be very careful. We have lots of juicy, terrible meat to distribute on those podcasts, which we haven't decided how we're going to do yet. This is just like a recap, I guess. It's a regular, it's championship weekend. Sure. Recap. Championship weekend slash selection Sunday. Sure. Washington 10, Utah 3.

That's all we have to say about. That's it. That's it. No, wait. Here's something I will say about it. The SEC's championship games, halftime Dr. Pepper Toss was higher scoring. God damn. It was.

and those only count for one too yeah i just i just want to i just want to print this this box score out and every time somebody's like you know fixing the playoff is easy uh five conference championships five five power five conference champions uh three at large i'll just be like okay you just put this this game mattered now congratulations also the pack 12 title game and the c c dr pepper toss between them you did have one scholarship thrower. Get him, Alina. Thanks to the Pact 12, by the way,

for giving us a game where one team was never, ever going to score. Once Utah lined up on offense, after three snaps. Keep your heart, three snaps. Yeah, three, after that, they decided to keep their heart. They gave nothing. No points. I mean, I mean. It's not as if Washington did their party.

Like, their only touchdown was on a pick six. Nope. I mean, there was nothing. I appreciate that, though. From the start, there was no hope of anything interesting happening. You just thought, oh, man, no, you're not getting this out of the mud. You're going to have to call a car. You just call a truck.

Just honestly, Utah abandon that car. You don't need it. What do you need in that car? Yeah. Why don't you give it to this young hustler waiting at the bus stop? Just give it to him. This car has 51 yards of 51 rushing yards on 25 attempts. You don't need this car anymore.

Just leave it. This was, I remember when Washington kicked a field goal and I tweeted, that'll do it. And I had zero, zero worries that I would get like old takes for it. I was like really pretty confident. Like, no, I'm serious. That's probably going to do it. I mean, yeah, for you to get old takes for it, it would have to occur to someone reading you that you might be joking. so pack 12 yeah we all we all watched a game of you but at least at least there was a big crowd on hand

to see it pack 12 champion auburn tigers that's that's why gus is keeping his job it's true i picked a great day to grouse publicly and at great link uh how much better the teams deserve than to be playing in santa clara i stand corrected yeah they played they played down to their location yeah that was a 49ers ass game i feel i feel bad about that that is i mean listen ucf declared themselves national champions last offseason because oh okay because they you know nobody else is going to do it of of any repute um sorry reddit but you know what we mean we're the same uh we're cute shouldn't shouldn't Auburn just call themselves pack 12 champion like who what's to stop them at this point throw yourselves a fucking

Yeah, that's right. We should just declare it for them. They can't possibly get madder than they are right now. I will absolutely, if we had the authority to do so at our company, I would absolutely sell Auburn Pac-12 champions. I would also, I would also suggest this, that it's a natural fit for Auburn because they can claim dominion over a golf course and mission to the godless west. That would be a, hey, listen, we're Pac-12 champions.

That means we own Pebble Beach now. Tim Cook's already out there laying the foundation for the Auburn family he never did call me back some family all right so we're going to call University of Washington is now Auburn University

dash Seattle yeah has it ever been determined which Auburn message board is frequented by Tim Cook because you know he's got one yeah I don't know And I hesitate to guess I know That's not the one I want

I want the one that the Yellowwood guy shows up on Wait is this real He's got to have a burner Jimmy Rain Wait is he the owner Or is he the yellow fellow He's the both That's the guy who runs the company

Who's worth millions and hundreds of millions of dollars How Auburn men do it Because both Apple and Yellowwood the person who runs it is also the mascot. Download Yellowwood app. What's it do? Just give me, bring the wood.

Bring me arsenic-treated wood. We got the new wood the new wood seven. It's way better than wood six. How's this different from wood six? It's bigger. Throw out wood six. It sucks. I just figured it was like turmeric or something since it was yellow.

My favorite story I've ever heard about that. If you don't know who Jimmy Rain is, Jimmy Rain, is a again like we don't you can't make up things about alabama i can only tell you what actually happened or who these people actually are and you can accuse me of lying and then i can show it to you and it's so much worse i did not know that he was both the yellow fella and the proprietor he used to do ads for pressure treated lumber as the yellow fellow where he dressed up all in yellow and some of them at one point like steve spruyer has an ad because with jimmy rain now jimmy rain at one point gave a bunch of money to Auburn and one condition of that this was during the

Tuberville era I believe as the story goes is he was supposed to address the Auburn football team and he got to do this pregame and Jimmy Rain got up there and Jimmy Rain a grown man addressing these 18 to 22 year olds started to invoke the spirit of Auburn started to speak on the glories of intercollegiate athletics and could not get through it so overcome was he by emotion meanwhile all of these guys in the locker room are just watching this extremely rich man blubbering and coherently in front of them because he paid them money to do it and this is my new goal is to just have an emotional breakdown over something very very unimportant in life in front of everybody and make them tolerate it because I am a billionaire like I'll just get a crowd of people together and be like I want to talk about Arthur and his horse and Red Dead Redemption too cry in my head when he was crying he was wearing the yellow fella outfit. Exactly. And all the,

all the players were like, did Curious George die? Oh my God. He held on to the balloons because he thought they were pretty. But he went too hard. George's dad is so sad. Of all the ways

Curious George can die. You know in that first, you know in that first book where he takes ether, he took too much. That's damon. That's Auburn as hell. That is.

How'd you die? Well, I got turned into a fictional ape And then I took too much ether and died War Eagle More ether Oh, can we go Let's talk about Saturday, please Yeah, can we go to

Can we go to the real banger of bangers here? That would be, I'm going to jump around a little bit But, uh, I mean, no reason. I don't want to invoke it for anything, but, uh, a predictable outcome. in the SEC championship game you know

you're a mean you're a mean motherfucker it's happened before hasn't it have credit for being meaner than me

it's happened before this was I would argue this was worse it was no it was it's just gonna keep getting worse

isn't it it's the worst yet yeah there Jason's got it yeah and people were rightfully

fixated on the fake punt on, what was that, on fourth and 11 that went awry? That's the right response. But I would argue the real failure of Georgia's special teams were

the two punts before them. First of all, I think those were the opportunities where they should have tried to fake. Those were on. One was on fourth and two and the other one was on fourth and four. Is it fair to accuse a man with Kirby's haircut of lacking creativity?

It looks kind of copy and pasted. I'm just saying, is it like asking a fish why it's not doing math? When he did come on afterwards and he was on Scott Van Pelt Show, obviously on very little sleep, tired, had just given up a... Emotional, yeah. Had just given up a 17-point lead. Did not, did not, did not, but, you know, was trying to lobby for his team. I get it.

Right? What he appeared on the screen, he honestly looked like a sheep dog. Like when you trim and shave a sheep dog and the hair is out of its eyes for the first time and you go, whoa, that's what it looks like under there. He's got eyes. Hello, Nana. Yeah. Hello. Jesus, Nana. Looking rough under there. But so, Spencer, what is the most golf play in college football? The most golf play? The most golf play. If you don't know, it's fine. I can give it to you. I would just say probably laying up when you probably should have gone for the green, i.e. taking a field goal when you're up 28, 14 on the best team in the nation instead of going for the throat, like you probably should have. That's a good answer. That's a good answer. It's not the answer you're looking for, but it's a good answer. I think that's tied. I think the other most golf play is the coffin corner. Because you're trying to just land the ball just so. It's just like pitching up to the green. You know, you want to just stick.

it and if you go a little too far or a little you hit it a little too short bad times on both of these punts preceding the fourth down the fake punt both from about the same spot like the Georgia 47 to the Bama 48 like same range both both punts go into the end zone and both one of them was real close to not and that was where that's where they lost if they I really think that if they had stuck Bama at the three yard line on one of those drives that some combination of Bama losing, you know, not winning the field position battle or having go too far and too long to score the touchdowns to win the game, probably gets it done for Georgia. So Georgia, you lost because you golfed bad.

That's got to hurt. Yeah, that's got to hurt. That's a grand 90 there. Well, there's got to be, man, is there a dramatic or? a literary term for this because that makes it simultaneously way more familiar and way more painful. I would also commend Alabama for attempting to score a touchdown. They were not going for a field goal to win that game. Driving with the ball in the two-minute territory, they end up scoring, I think with a minute and change left, like a minute five, minute 10 left. They're actually

trying to score a touchdown to end the game, not just sitting on it like an old Nick 17 would and kicking a field goal, which he's had some experience there that might have shied him away from that decision. But actually trying to score. And good for them for that, because one, it worked. And two, it gave us the opportunity to watch Kirby Smart make a baffling call because, and I will get to this, a serious take, which is, I don't really have a problem with the call itself because dude was open and they really did miss that on a timing issue, okay? I know, Justin Fields is back there, everyone can see it, but same look. And you know why they knew it was the same look?

Because according to Kirby, same look that Bama used when he was there. Didn't change it at all. Had a guy across her wide open across the middle. I get that. counterpoint if you're trying to be aggressive and win the game why don't you put jake from out there why don't you actually use the quarterback who had a great game why don't you let him do it we're just trying to be aggressive but win the game cool go for it on fourth like the math says you should not the strongest point for a graduate of bainbridge county high school i know but kirby put him

out there. Do it. Trust your dude. You trusted him the rest of the game. That 58 minutes when you led. Because remember, remember that Georgia, out of 120 minutes, I think has led Alabama in their last two games for something like 117 of those minutes. Why didn't you trust him? Just put him out there. That's your quarterback. That's what he's there for. Don't do a fake punt. Put your dude out there and let him throw a pass. I also sincerely don't know why, like, I really thought they would have done it on one of the two previous possessions when it was fourth and three, fourth and five,

like, fourth and 11 just felt like there are a lot of ways where you can get something you want or something can work, but it might, it still not, might not work out for you. I don't really know why they decided to go forward there. I got the sense that Kirby was kind of desperately hoping to get through the game without having to get cute and then by the time they got down to there it's like he was so frazzled that he just mashed the get cute button at completely the wrong moment he got as cute as possible maximum cute he's often you know what i mean by get cute you know

it's the in that dad menacing don't get cute way yeah right right right right okay when um so watching this game watching Georgia take the 14-0 lead obviously everyone is thinking like oh shit this ain't going to hold because we saw this 11 months ago oh we also saw this seven years ago in the same city

never forget Georgia had a what was it a 10 point lead in 2012 SEC title game that turned out to be the national title game as well so do you remember the point in this game though where it flipped for you from oh yeah this is going to happen to Oh, yeah, this is definitely going to happen. Like, Georgia is definitely doomed here.

31.14. It was when there's, that's the break point is when it was 2814. They have miscommunication, I think, on third down and have a guy open and from misses. And then they have settled for a field goal 3114. At that point, I thought, yeah, is it done? I think it was, I'm looking at the play-by-play here, and assuming ESPN's not lying. It's this play, third and 12. from the Alabama 29, with 10 and a half minutes left in the game.

Jalen Hertz, pass complete to Irv Smith, Jr. for 13 yards to the Alabama 42 for a first down. Because this is right after Tua goes out with the injury, and Jalen comes in. And, like, once he hit that and another third down after that for even longer, it was like, oh, okay, well, yeah. Yeah, they got this. It's not a big deal. what about jason when was that for you well so it was 28 to 14 bama had a mere 14 um and i think i found the play in the play by play there were 22 minutes left to go in the game uh two a head looked

not good of course he had three different leg injuries at the time but he completed a 23 yarder i believe this is the one i was it was like a laser right over the middle to jalen wattle uh for down and everyone in the room just said okay yep that's it they're still down by two touchdowns but everyone just saw that one pass and knew like all right game over good try Georgia to a throat threw a pick on that drive and that really didn't dissuade anyone at all it was just all we had to see was just one good pass and then two went out and that really didn't even change anything either because oh right here's the you know guy who's been in what this is his third playoff

whatever it is. Anyway, Jalen Hurts coming in. Former, you know, S.E.Z. Offensive player of the year. He comes in and immediately on, I was with a bunch of Georgia tech fans, so they were already rooting against Georgia, but looking on Twitter and seeing the mood suddenly swing, like, rooting for Bama. Like, that's some Georgia shit, man. How hard is it, like two games in a row?

You are taking on the Sith's, and yet you end up the bad guy. because of quarterback changes two times in the calendar year. That is impossible. Georgia's amazing. They really are spectacularly talented. Can we talk about this dog for a day thing? Is that even my... God!

Oh, my... You know what? I'm glad they did it. Because if you really wanted to say, I would like a taste, I would like to quantum leap into the Georgia fan experience for just one day and one day alone, God damn did the University of Georgia deliver. God damn, did they give you the whole experience?

That got the full experience. Consider this, that this particular stretch of Georgia football is as good as they've probably ever been, as deep as they have ever been, as talented as this roster has ever been, and have gone further in those two years back to back than any Mark Rick team really considered going, right? Mark Rick team's probably had two years. years, which I think, you know, came close. But national title game, SEC championship game, and New Year's Bowl, that's pretty

solid. It's going to be hard to top that, right? It might even be hard to top, you know, going all the way back to, like, 80. You'd really have to go. Why? What happened then? I'd have to look it up. I wasn't alive.

I wasn't alive. Nope. It's been so long is the thing that you have to look it up in paper. Spencer was alive. It's been so long, only Spencer was alive. that's true he's the turtle upon which the rest of the universe rests and even i can't remember it old tortoise that i am that's we'll have to go back and look at that but consider that even at the peak right and this may be as good as it gets you never know nothing is granted you don't know how next year is going to go even with that

Georgia has handed its fans the worst possible ending so far for those two seasons and that's as good as it gets. It's great, isn't it? It's pretty spectacular. The form. It's consistent no matter who's at the wheel.

I'm just impressed Georgia. That's all. How'd your team do? We're nine and three, baby. We're going to play Michigan for the ninth time in ten years. They just keep moving the bowl around like a restaurant that can't get a health

license. Just keep bouncing from city to city. And every single time, Florida eats the bad chicken and winds up in the hospital. But it was labeled bad chicken. I know. I'm an alligator. I thought it was like a tough thing. I thought it was like, oh, I want some of the bad chicken. The badass chicken. Wait, Kid Rock's got a restaurant now, doesn't it? He does. And I go there and I eat the bad chicken. It'll get you sick. You know, you know the word. First, you know the most depressing thing about this SEC championship? When Bama scores their last touchdown with Spencer's right, a minute four left, nobody thought, ah, left too much time on the clock.

Like, nobody thought that. Nobody said it, nobody, and for a team that had played as well, especially on offense, as Georgia had throughout a lot of this game, the fact that we had just said, like, no. going to take a miracle play for it to happen not a solid minute drive with i think they still had at least two timeouts left yeah like god damn that sucks and isn't it amazing that coming off the incredible high of quite possibly the best game of the year for the objective viewer probably not for georgia fans but after that the the result of that what it did to the national

narrative was you had all these media members and so forth immediately saying that was great let's make Georgia do that again the result of this game was they came so close we should put them in the play off where are you going to put them number four right you know who that you know they have to play again right yeah let's make Georgia go through this all over either this either this or just run it back just here what are we going to do let's have them play Bama and then what are we going to have them do knock out Oklahoma and the most exciting player in the playoff yeah let's do that yeah that sounds great i like the idea that um in this alternate reality where bama's won georgia's four georgia loses again close and then

some members of the media are like you know they should really be in the title game over the two three wins i mean you saw it so impressive you saw it kirk herb street once i'm bumped up to number one. Man, Kirk was frothy last night. Kudos to Kirk by the way.

Kirk's throwing a parade in Athens for the national champs. I love my Jeep Cherokee and I don't care if it catches fire. Four best cars. Now there's a dog

for a day. I think Kirk Herb Street was the only actual dog for a day. I mean, Fowler and Riesstaffler openly going at him. Yeah.

Right? Face to face. Reese Davis doing the, I respectfully disagree with what is your insane opinion. I was kind of hoping that Scott and Reese would just like start doing magic tricks because they were sitting in what I can only assume was a fit of peak by the director of Ampelt Sports Center. They kept Reese and Scott framed in the foreground while Kirk and Chris were just yelling at each other on the big screen in the back and it was my favorite sports center of the year. Yeah, Reese Davis going, well, you know, two losses. There's more than one, Kirk. Chris was a half of breath from a Kirk, you ignorant slut.

Chris, I think the testosterone replacement therapy was getting edgy on him, right? Like, he and he and Kirk both were like, ah, too much in the blood! The counterpoint to this is that too often the media moves in one direction, in lockstep, thinks the same thing, says the same thing. And Kirk dared to be creative. And on that note, coming up next, we have some advertiser content to help inspire your holiday gift giving, a very special advertiser message from the Kings of Creativity themselves, the Lego store, and shop.lego.com. Let's build.

Jake Sadovich is serious about puzzles. For a living, I work at an escape room designing gameplay. And this love of puzzles all started with a little. Lego set he got as a gift. It was one of the Explorians sets. It was the big space base where the front opened up and the truck came out. Jake loved the way the pieces interlocked, how you could move parts around infinitely. Years later, he found an old ship-in-a-bottle set at a thrift store, and it gave him a crazy

idea. I decided I'd go ahead and build it, bottle and all completely out of Lego. When he finished, he submitted it to Lego ideas, a platform where fans, Fans can showcase builds and vote on ones they think Lego should manufacture. And it was a hit. It was really kind of surreal. It was amazing when it was getting votes very, very quickly. Weeks later, Jake finally heard back from Lego.

They had chosen his design. You just kind of blown away that Lego's now going to build a set based on your creation is really kind of overwhelming. But his favorite thing was how people took his puzzle and made it their own. So they build the ship in the bottle set, but they take the ship out and they'll put like a spaceship or flower garden. Because when you give someone a Lego set, you're not giving them a set of rules to follow. You're giving them the inspiration to create something totally unique. It's just a great feeling to know that that will help to inspire kind of the next generation of Lego builders to go out and create and do their thing. With Lego, every gift has a story.

Start your story today at your local Lego store. Thank you for that message from our sponsor at the Lego store. To learn more, go to lego. Go to lego. Dot build slash shutdown. Please note that link may not work, and it's not my fault. But if it does, it's lego. dot build slash shutdown, or you can tap the link in the show notes, which again, may not work to get started.

Spencer, you did something unusual the last time we had this Lego ad read. I did. I told anyone and everyone who would listen that if they went and. and patronized our fine friends at Lego that, you know, I would, I'd be grateful. And in addition to that, for free, whether they purchase Legos or not for the holidays, I would serve as their personal Lego sommelier, right? Their construction toy concierge, I would help them by asking a series of questions via email my least favorite medium of communication, besides honest, open emotional.

I would give them an actual suggestion for Legos and that offer still holds Can I test, can we test that out live here? Sure. All right, so I'm going to, I want to look, get Legos for my younger brother. Okay. What do you need to know? Okay, just, you know, generally like, what is he, is he more of, you know, is he a Lego,

if I just start spitting things, is he a Lego City guy? Is he more of a Lego Star Wars guy? is he gonna like is he a technical guy wants some sort of like techniques kind of stuff yeah he's definitely a technical guy loves to fix cars uh was in an engineering program for a while is a doctor now so he's definitely in the like i think the technical side of the lego oh can i jump in oh yeah no holly's gonna i trust you on this yeah if it's still available the Volkswagen VW the VW bus that they have oh that's good yeah it's it's a good set I've actually got my hands on it uh it is a delightful set. It's a little, it's just whimsical enough so that it's purely, not purely technical. You can have it in the doctor's office and not have it look out of place. Yeah, it may be out, but you know, you can get some vintage Lego. That happens. If, if that's not available and he's a big car guy, right? Yeah. What's your budget here? You know, just to throw out a number. You know what? Because we have this sweet, uh, podcast, ad money that comes to us directly,

definitely. Let's say up to $300. Up to $300. My friend, I'm just going to give you, there's a Porsche 9-11 GT3RS set for $299 and $99. If you can go a little bit over that, they got a $350 Bugatti Kiron. So I'd do that. That'd be my suggestion. But you know, if you don't want to, if you want the other one too, if he's like superengineering, they actually have a bagger 288, i.e. the bucket wheel.

excavator that looks like that looks like some sort of satanic like pinwheel trapped in a mining machine yeah that you for 280 bucks buddy we can bring you in under that 300 and you can have a bag or two eight at eight on your desk all right let me add one more wrinkle to it

let's say I hate my brother okay you hate him yeah okay then what you're gonna do is you're going to give him the enormous Hogwarts castle okay Because, and here's why, all right?

Because you say that he's like a technical kind of guy, right? Yeah, yeah, right. Okay, so you get him the gigantic $400 Hogwarts Castle that's like, like I think it's three feet tall and has 6,000 pieces. And he's going to hate himself for this, but he will have no choice and cannot resist the urge to put it together, right? Can I, should I remove surreptitiously three to four pieces before I give it to him? You should absolutely do that. Remove everything with the Hufflepuff insignia from the stickers, too.

Find the tops of the spires, like the tops of the turret, so he builds the whole thing. And remove all but one so that he knows that they're supposed to be there, but it won't match. And take Harry Potter out. So he's like, I don't know, I did this whole thing. There's not a Harry Potter in here. It won't bother him because he wants a Harry Potter. It'll bug him because it's not complete. You're good at this.

This should be your job. Emotional warfare by a Lego. I'm so much better at this than my actual job. So, but I'll do it for free. Email me at Spencer at SP Nation, and we can have this exact same conversation. For men. For men.

And women. And women, I have had, I counted, I have had 36 people email me, and I have responded to all of them. And I actually got a photo of somebody who received it with the email recommending the purchase and they were satisfied. That's 100% hit right there.

Was that a nude? Yes, it was a nude. I only, all of my, it's weird. All the pictures I get via email become nudes if they send it. He has the site. I do it, the most unfortunate site because I mostly get emails from dudes

who listen to our podcast and you're all fine-looking men. That's fine It's just It's a bit much Huh If you like peen your clad Jesus Christ

Hey Iowa State almost lost to Drake I think we should talk about that Iowa State almost lost to Drake Yeah Just like Meek Mill Came close I was gonna say who among us Yeah

That was clearly my favorite thing Which is Oh crap We forgot to play this game It's just It's just so weird because, like, when this happens week one or two, we all write at office, like, well, you know, teams are still figuring out who they are and FCS teams all gassed up and blah, blah, blah. What the fuck is the excuse, week 14 when you barely beat an FCS school? That you didn't remember the game was even happening until two days before.

Listen to me. Not just an FCS school. We're talking a non-scholarship FCS school that ranks like number 220 offense aggregates. and something like that. No, they went out on the road. They were recruiting. They were doing all kinds of stuff. And on Thursday night,

someone on the Iowa State staff said, oh, shit. Guys, we got to play Drake. I don't know. Drake's in town. Yeah, Drake's going to town. That's what it was. All week the players were like,

oh, we're going to a Drake show on Saturday. And then they realized, oh, shit. No, we're playing Drake. What happens when you're the Drake show? My favorite scenario here was, say Iowa State had lost this as a 41-point favorite. Now they're extremely unranked. Now they're actually kind of a bad win for Oklahoma. Does that bump Georgia into the playoff if Iowa State loses to Drake and Oklahoma's resume is like,

well, we beat West Virginia and we split with Texas. And that's all we got. Does that answer for Iowa State's performance? Like, how close to the edge can we skirt this? just despite Oklahoma. Yeah, they almost pulled it off. At the very least, if they had lost, they should have lost their bull spot to ULM.

But as is, Iowa State ended up doing pretty well in this whole thing. So thanks, thanks Drake for not finishing the drill. For being, in other words, you know, for being kind of lackluster. God damn it. As Drake goes. Yeah, they get to play Wazoo. So you're welcome? Yeah, have fun with that

Is Drake the University of Canadian School, or just Drake the person? It's in Des Moines, so yeah, it's in Canada. Basically, yeah, okay. Yeah. The Big Ten Championship was unnecessary. I mean, it was closer than you thought it would be

for a long stretch. Yeah. I'm sorry, are you referring to the Southside Chicago Street Fund? Oh, Southside Chicago. I'm referring to the game, I'm referring to the game in which the, so this game was on Fox,

and for the pregame package, they had a famous alum of each school come on to give like the televised pep talk. And for Ohio State, it was Chris Carter. He was Duke Nukem, yeah. Chris Carter, you know, legendary NFL wide receiver,

etc., etc. I assume at least one of you knows who the Northwestern choice was. Malcolm Gladwell's sister's friend. You're not as far off as you think you are. Do y'all not really know this? No, no, no. I didn't watch a single second of this, no. Dermit Mulroney.

Yes! I'm sorry, is that Dermaloney? Which based on Jason not knowing who Stanley Tucci or, uh, French Stewart, there's no way you do. I was just going to say we have now hit three straight weeks of probably spending five minutes talking about a person I never heard of. It's, this isn't your fault.

He's an actor. He's indistinguishable from Dylan. Y'all know so many fucking actors, man. How do y'all know so many damn actors? I don't know. We're Hollywood tights. Jason, all of the spots in your head occupied by wrestlers?

They're all devoted to very... They're actors, too. They are a the spaniards. man what do you think have you noticed that every time a wrestler walks into hollywood they dominate everything like john sina makes two movies and suddenly i'm like frankly i think he should be in everything daniel day lewis was ever in john sina's first movie i saw people citing him as quote a revelation yeah the rock walks in and it instantly becomes the biggest star in hollywood you'll pay me the most to which mountain and his career gets bigger they should have figured this out after rottie roddy

Piper took the screen and they live and became a god who is who is the biggest failure in this regard who has not pulled that off Hulk Hogan okay oh sorry suburban

commando I don't know a lot of people saw his movie Jesus German Dermott Mulroney was in young guns if that helps Jason Dermott Mulroney late of Fox's L.A. to Vegas

and my favorite recent TV trope? No, no, no, he wasn't, that wasn't him. That was Dylan McDonough? Oh, Ryan, you need to let me finish because in episode three of Fox's L.A. to Vegas starring Dylan McDermott, they brought in Dermott Mulroney to play his rival. I'm not making this up. Specifically because the writers do, nobody could tell them apart. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I jumped down your throat. That was unfair. Mayacopa, meacopa, meacopa. Yeah, yeah. Well, and they gave one of them a mustache, and they're like, yeah, that's why people can't tell them part. They both have mustaches.

I really just wish they'd rolled Ravel out there. Just done it. Like our most... He's so pissed. He wasn't there. He so wanted to do it. And he would have, if people would have gone, why did you put that man on television? I just, it's not as if Northwestern has never put an NFL player, has never put a player into the NFL.

It's not like, well, there were done. And it's not as if that. Dermot Mulroney is so famous that you're like, it's not like, you know, when, when Texas uses Matthew McConaughey or something, you're like, well, I get what, like, man, what a choice. No, I like to think that they went down the roster of Northwestern folks and all the ones who knew anything about sports were like, no. No, no, no, no, no. They could have Stephen Colbert.

He's like, no, thank you. Yeah, I mean, were they going to get Zach Braff on there? Oh, God, that could be more. I bet he was next on the list. Remember me from the 90s? No. I mean, Warren Beatty, they could have got, I'm looking at the list here. Duchess Megan.

Julie Louis Dreyfus, she would have been way better for this. Seth Myers, the Seth Myers. Ira Glass? That would have been fucking great. Oh, God, Ira Glass and here's Ira Glass. Are you kidding me? have you ever had one of those games where you thought you were going to win but you didn't wait billy eichner he'll do fucking anything yeah see that that would have been no blasters got to win hey cloris leachman would have been fucking hilarious wait isn't zoie de chanel on a fox show yeah i don't know if it's still on anymore

but Megan mollale there were a lot of good choices and again probably NFL players too I don't know. No, but I like, they're like, are you kidding? We're not going to this game. No. It's like, I know he's dead. Rod Blagojevich, he was available.

Listen, I know he's dead, but would it not be his greatest role if Jerry Orbach came back and did it? Oh, wow. The grommitas. The grommit toss. Like, honestly, you want Northwestern to win. Like, Pat Fitzgerald is like,

hey, union suck and I'm an enormous meathead. Go cops. Hey, the boss. and Jerry Orbach reanimated. I don't think Ohio State fans want law and order associated with the Big Ten in any way, shape, or form, so. It involves due process, so no. Just put us in the playoff.

Don't look. Don't look. Do not scrutinize the record. Purdue. Well, actually. Purdue with the most engineering catch on a resume ever. So yeah, guys, we're Big Ten champions. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Here's what they should have got. I have a data set. They should have had Chris Carter. They should have had Chris Carter doing his pump-up thing. And then they should have had Trevor Simeon just sleeping in a recliner. They should have brought the other Chris Carter from X-Files, who I don't know if he went to Northwestern or not, but he seems like the type. Yeah. That's fine, too.

God. Fucked it up. Ficked it up so bad. And then the game. Also, the game was very, uh, yeah. Yeah, again, Ohio State not really able to run the ball, able to pass for over 400 yards. They're a big 12 team now. Yay.

Don't make fun of them, Ohio State fans, ever. You don't get to do that because this year you are a big 12 team. And I have no complaints with that. Motown passing it. Yeah. I'm sorry about that, but not enough to be prevented from doing this time. Was there an ACC championship game? You're damn right there was.

Because Pitt was in it. And you want to know what Pitt did? That Pitt's super weapon. Charging and charging. Charging. Still charging. After the ACC championship. It's still charging.

Still charging. Hey, Pitt, it happens to the best of us. I mean, clearly. We'll pick this up next year. We'll just keep this going. Did you see the Mercury News headline on Stanford's bowl placement? Stanford is, of course, playing Pitt. It was Stanford headed to Sun Bowl to play six-lost team.

That's like a language barrier in between Stanford and Pitt. Pitt can't even be named. Yep, it's not bad. L. Purcell. Stanford Cardinal. Going to play in the Surve Bowl. Kenny Pickett's passing line in this game was... It's a classic!

it's amazing because you know they didn't i don't really care if the team's good or not i just want you i know i just want you to be i want you to be the most you version of you when you play right yeah do you be you be you to your fullest and pit pit did it because kenny picket Kenny Pickett was four for 16 Oh, so probably for like 70 yards Eight Eight He was four

When you say eight Oh choh Ah so eight I'll translate for Yenzers Eight Orte Orte I hate to

I hate to steal from PAPN The Nerd Podcast But um They deserve to get beaten up But half a yard Per passing attempt my analytics say that's bad I don't know

I'll need to see the advanced statistics on that we're going to send this back to the lab at least he only threw one pick Jesus Christ couldn't complete the ball to anybody that's where he really lacked the height of the Nathan Peter Manera yeah if you can't hit your guy don't hit anybody just throwing it away throwing it away throwing it good good get rid of that football throw it away

Don't take a sack. That's the entire offense. How much of this game did you watch? I think I ended up watching about 10 minutes. I watched for zero of the Big Ten title game. I watched. I hung with Pitt as long as I could and then bailed for the Mountain West game. The actual good late night game that is nowhere near as late night as it should be.

That game was great, by the way. Yeah, that was phenomenal. There were several moments in the first 10 minutes of this game when Pitt had the ball on offense, where I said out loud watching the TV. Oh, God! Watching Christian Wilkins and Dexter Lawrence work against Pitt's offensive line. Like watching a toddler climb a diving board. Yeah, no, don't, don't, no. Stop that. Don't attempt that.

Their first two drives ended with a punt on fourth and 20. They got no first downs on that drive. And a fumble on third and 28. that's about all you need to know about how that game went yeah that and travis a tn he had 156 yards rushing which is a great game on 12 carries he had 75 on 1 the first play of the game yeah first play gone okay that just about did it that just about did it the whole game thank you clemson for making this immediately clear how it was going to go we could flip to other games without guilt the aAC championship huh yeah no yeah it was good it was good

everyone gave up on what was it Memphis so there were 28 to 14 to scores like that and in the AAC title game there I feel like the scores don't really ever actually stop climbing it's like watching two like stock tickers like the score is always climbing so it was hard to cite a specific number but Memphis was ahead by 14 or so for what felt like a really long time. They were up 17 at three different junctures in this game before half-time. It's not just that you blew, hey Georgia, do you want to feel better about things? You only blew a 17-point lead once.

Feel more like Memphis, the team whose stadium you lost to Georgia Leary coached UCF in. That's correct. UCF came back against the three different 17-point lead. So I guess Georgia is actually. actually just one third of the team memphis is what i'm saying we've always said that we've always said always um and yet ucf yeah not in the playoff not nope wasn't even that that i told jason and spencer this yesterday but that would have been the secret funniest thing the committee could have done would be let saturday play out the way it did so that you're like well

Oklahoma, you know, gets a quality win and Avenges their only lost the year. Ohio State dominates in the Big Ten title game. Georgia, you know, loses a squeaker, but against the number one team, then just be like, nope, UCF number four. Fuck y'all. Surprise! But they're unimaginative, and they hate comedy. Hey, they want Alabama to keep splitting those titles.

Go right the hell ahead. Damn, that's a good point. Yeah. Mind you, by the way, winning the AAC with their backup QV, walked right in, just did it. Daryl Mack had an outstanding game. I know Memphis Rush for 400 yards. UCF rush for 350. They were way better passing.

Now, UCF yesterday made me feel bad about all those times we've used well-coached as a euphemism for this team as boring and unfun. Yeah. No, they looked really, they still looked like they got their shit together. Lockstep 100%. So would you want to see them in a playoff? Instead, you get to watch them against perpetually well-coached and prepared LSU. LSU, who definitely never fucking chokes

during bowl season. That's, not only did they get to do that, I get to see. Hey, these boys come from the swamp. Orlando's, Orlando's not. They're like us. Yeah, that's. It's a mini-golfs. I got the Ripley

I know you boys like to play night games Well now we're playing the nights That's I'll bid Orlando It's lawless They got men running around on horses With swords That was just medieval times

I've seen it Changed my life There's a giant talking mouse It was delicious It was Perkice this was this was one where the committee had perfect it was right there we talked about it for several weeks now the battle for okala florida ucf was right on the table instead they

gave us florida versus michigan for the 7000th time and the oddity that is ucf versus lSU in glendale Arizona. It's not Run. I defend these people, their ultimate decisions. I think they've done a good job overall, but this was just a horrible

move. That feels like lightly attended might be a phrase we would use for this game. And that feels like, yeah, I don't know. It felt like some incredible pettiness

towards UCF. Yeah, make them play the number 11 team, the lowest ranked team you possibly could. The furthest, flungest place you can put them.

And UCF really hasn't backed off that role, and nor should they. Publishing, publishing, like, videos where, you know, ricochet the wrestler has the UCF logo superimposed over his head. Right? I do like, um, I do like the Orlando lawyer that's like, fuck it, let's file an antitrust lawsuit. Let's get them in court, boys. So you're saying, I go for Utah 12 years ago.

Hey, we're just here for just, anything. I mean, Utah made the pay. Pac-12 championship, so over a long enough time. UCF will make the Pac-12 championship. Yes, yes. Hey, they've already beaten Auburn. UCF is already.

UCF is already the Pac-12 champions. And SCF has already champions. UCF holds two conference championships and can't get in the damn playoff. Three conference championships. Ryan, you went to law school. This is basically

what it was like, right? Yeah, almost exactly. Do you think UCF has to keep going until they have beaten every conference champion and then they can get in? No. Or does that just itself add up to a national title? No, they'll just close shop. They'll pretend like, oh, hey, we're not playing college football next year. It's not happening.

Sorry, we won't send you any letters or nothing. You guys should just close up. Okay, bye. Don't tell them. Close shop or at least they're pregnant. Well, guess you won the last ever football game. Congrats. also like that basically the minute

UCF loses a game the college football powers the be will be like start from the beginning unranked climb back out of hell you assholes the end of last season everyone was on the UCF bandwagon once it became clear okay the committee screwing them over that hasn't been the case for every

mid-major but it is the case for this team you know they beat Auburn and everyone is sick of the SEC and sick of Bama and they look at the transitive thing and like okay, we're all on board on UCF. We love it. Then UCF fans happen. Boy, do they?

All off season and everyone gets sick of them. Everyone hates UCF again. All season and all season. Yeah. Which honestly, going out of their way to kick everyone else off their bandwagon is maybe the most SEC thing they could have done. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. They filtered it back down to zero.

And then the season happens and everyone's like, oh, I can't wait until UCF loses. But guess what happens by like November December? We're right back in the same place. Go get them, UCF. go beat LSU. Go claim another title. Then we'll be sick of you by May again. This is all leading up to me watching Joe Burrow run the ball for 42 times against UCF's defense for 300 yards.

That's it. In a losing effort. In a valiant losing effort. LSU's continuing inability to put people at the right positions or use them correctly. The wide receiver throw 30 times. And I got the quarterback, he's going to run 50. I got a tight end. Guess what?

He's punting. Is it possible that LSU's entire team leaves early for the draft? I mean, Greedy Williams has already said he's leaving, right? Yeah. You mean like before the bowl? Yeah. Yeah, like tomorrow. Interesting.

Entirely possible. I mean, if Greedy's out. Let greedy eat. Yeah. Let greedy, you know. I assume that happened mostly because they were like, Fuck Arizona. That place is boring as shit. I'm not going there. That's dry.

Orlando fans should be right at home like Glendale, though. That's true. It's like Orlando jerky. Yeah, it's Orlando when you have a DUI ankle it, basically. So Orlando. So it's just... It's Orlando when you respect the limitations of your DUI ankle. What does that happen? It's just because you can't drive...

Ryan, that's Disney. No, it's just... Just because when you drive off... It's just because when you drive off the road in Arizona, you go into a ditch. That's not respecting your DUI bracelet. It just means your car's incapacitated because you're in a desert. Like, I'm in a dry wash. I'm respected this dry wash.

Yeah, being forced to confront your circumstances because of geology, you know, isn't exactly the same thing. I always thought there's only one place that I think driving drunk would be cool, because driving drunk is deeply uncool. What the fuck, dude? But only one place where driving drunk would be really cool, And that's if you got so drunk, you accidentally, you accidentally drove onto the Bonneville salt flats. And just, you know, like, oh, you know, when there's nobody out there, you're just like, what are you doing? I'm hammered, driving on a salt flat forever!

They basically made a movie about this. It had Anthony Hopkins and a motorcycle in it. Perfect. As long as I don't hit Anthony Hopkins on this motorcycle. That's the only place in the world where it'd be fun. This is like the bumper pool for drunk people. like you just put them out there where they can't hurt anything and just let them let them let them drive it out of themselves just a reminder for our listeners that everything said on the shutdown full cast constitute legal advice uh hi yeah this is ryan oh uh legos unhappy no that they think the ad read was good oh they didn't like the part where spencer said the one time it'd be fun to drive drunk okay well no i think this is this is a solution we put all the drunk drivers on the salt flat and they all just

solve the problem amongst each other all right let's let's at least try to talk about the big 12 title game please yeah another point when you knew it was over is when uh i knew this game was over when oklahoma was sitting on three points after a quarter because if oklahoma's sitting on three points after a quarter. That just means there's like a good 36 waiting to drop on your head. Because you're not going to hold them. And Texas wasn't going to hold them to that. They were just, it was

a matter of time. No Texas hold them, huh? No Texas hold them, buddy. Got a straight... I thought this game was a victory for civility. There were no unsportsman like taunting penalties and that's really all that matters in a big 12 game. Everyone

respected the cow pictures devised by certain finger configurations until after the whistle blew that's really all that matters it's called Texas sign language there was however one Oklahoma fan

in the crowd did you all see this guy who was making fun of Tom Herman making fun of Drew Locke in last year's ball game when Drew Locke was he seems like kind of a weird guy celebrations where he's pretending I think he was pretending to like put on a coat or something

and Tom Herman is strutting up and down the sideline doing that and then spent the season complaining about players mocking Texas's hands. God damn, the Big 12 is so fucking petty. So many little rules. It's like baseball. Big 12 football is baseball with way more points. But anyway, there was an Oklahoma fan that ESPN's cameras caught doing that to Tom Herman. And that was a fitting resolution to the entire thing.

also thankfully this game gave us the match that we wanted to see which is Alabama Oklahoma the only offense the only offense that I think people are reasonably sure can give Alabama hell is one helmed by Kyler Murray right consistent hell not the 58 minutes of hell that Jake Fromm gave them but a full 60 minutes of purgatorial punishment I think that that and the Citadel and the Citadel. It's either just shit through a tin horn, buddy. Citadel or Oklahoma. Nothing in between. It was particularly delightful to me that on the same day, so Jalen Hertz comes in, leads the comeback, Bama wins, et cetera. And of course, some segment of sports media and just

sports fans on Twitter, like, this is what proves that not transferring when the chips are down against you and, you know, not taking the easy way out. That's where true champions are made it's like all right so if you believe that you should argue oklahoma shouldn't be in the playoff because they're benefiting from from untowards bullshit it's just such tired bullshit yeah where did uh baker mayfield get drafted how'd that work out for like nobody is actually like if you actually think this go on tv and say fuck fuck kailer murray say it he didn't he didn't commit to oh you he's a And he's a transfer for all the reasons that we're not supposed to want people to transfer. He's a transfer for all the reasons we're not supposed to want people to transfer.

He's more of an Oklahoma later. He's transferring sports. Ah, but what's the halo he's given? What's the halo he's given? Oh, what's he going to go play? Baseball. That's right. Kyle and Murray's going to go play baseball.

I like that basically you can only win. sports media respect if you make one decision that might be very bad for your self-interest. In Kyler Murray's case, it's deciding to play this season of college football and risk his baseball career. It hasn't worked out that way and knock on what it won't. I know, God, I'm worried about him playing Bama. But, like, Spencer's right. Like, that has sort of given him the veneer. Well, he believes in the team above himself. Meanwhile, Tom Brady, to make sure that he kept his, what, thousand rushing yards or whatever career on a kneel down

at the end of today's game ran forward two yards before he knelt because Tom Brady's Team player! A me first assailer! A me first assailer! You just don't understand the Patriots way! I don't. I don't want to. That's, yeah, Kyler Murray, by the way, also

in addition to having the halo of... Oh, no, it's cool. He's going to go play baseball. That's why we won't. bother him over the transfer didn't get that from man herb street had a weekend didn't he man digging in dig it in hard he did not stop posting he did not log off no he's gonna go home and eat so much almond butter just out of the jar it's good fat just tweeting to don't stop me now in the background yes it gives a damn montage I've having such a good time I'm I'm blocking them all.

Georgia should be number two! He's having a ball!