Shutdown Fullcast - DESERT ISLAND VIDEO GAMES DRAFT

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

The intrepid crew of the good spaceship Shutdown Fullcast takes a mid-season break from their ceaseless analysis of college football to stage a mock draft of video game franchises you'd take to a desert island.  Backs are stabbed over Dr. Mario! Fronts are stabbed over Zelda! Ryan does a pretty great Wave Race voice! And stalwart Cap'n Surber reveals unexplored depths of competitive energy around a Belgian mountain range ... but which one??  As always, visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

POMPEO WARREN SULLIVAN Welcome to the Shutdown Fullcast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am Spencer Hall. And with me today, as always, is our eternal co-host, Jason Kirk. Jason, how are we doing today? Very good. I bring to you the sounds of lawn mowing.

It is late October and lawns must be mowed. that is essential for that to happen. And how are we sounding? How's it coming through? How's the lawnmower aesthetic coming through? I think it's just at a lovely simmering sort of froth in the background. Like we're by a fountain, but that fountain is made of roiling lawnmowers. That fountain is made of blades.

The fountain is made. That's a famous Italian saying, never ever trust the third Tuesday of the month and always the fountain is made. of blades. Is today the third Tuesday of the month? Did you just pull that out of your... No, I have no idea. Fourth, it's close.

I like that I had to check the math on that. Somebody pointed out that Tennessee and Alabama did not play their game on the third Saturday in October. They actually played it on the fourth Saturday in October this year, and that is something I would not have known with 300 glances at the calendar. It happened sometimes.

It's happened a few times, And I think that's the only reason Tennessee didn't compete all that well. If Bama hadn't been scared to play on the third, Tennessee would have fared much better, I think. Also here is our attorney, Ryan Nanny, here to keep us out of trouble. Hello, Ryan. No, it's not that. That's not what I do here.

That is what you do here. It's not even slightly what I do here. It would be worse if you weren't. All trouble that follows is Ryan's fault. That part is true. Proversely, that part is true. just the other part is not okay how are we doing ryan uh i'm good i don't have a good reason why i have been out uh for recent episodes i just had like family stuff holly's holly's the

one who is living moss living moss holly hi hi uh where where you been porch cat um you know how you said i was going to go off into the woods or i was going to die okay there i i've laid this all out on twitter i don't want to get gory uh i'm i'm going through some uh going through some uh injury issues i'm a i'm an injury scratch uh y'all it's possible to it turns out it's possible if you are lax enough about wearing your night guard that you're supposed to be wearing because you grind your teeth uh it's possible to be relax enough to grind your teeth to the point where you crack one of your back molars straight in half like an iceberg and it's also possible if you're real real real talented at it to crack that tooth all the way down to the bottom and which would require a root canal except sometimes the root canals fail and sometimes you then develop a nerve infection that spreads to your jaw and if it sounds like I'm talking through clenched teeth I kind of am so

I'm going to be in and out for the next few months on the show. It's looking like I'm looking at a couple of surgeries, but I am hoping to rest up and get in some playing time where I can, and yeah, come back strong in the off-season. This sucks. It sucks. It sucks a lot. It really, really, really does. So I've been gone for the last two shows.

I'm probably going to miss some more coming up, but I love you all. And every time I'm not on the show, just remember, I see you. I hear a haul. We appreciate your warrior mindset. Thank you. Thank you. I'm very, I'm happy to be powering through here as I sit here in my very fancy face brace.

Can we call you the Panopticon? Is that okay? Please do. That sounds lovely. Yeah. In the time when you are going to at the literally unable to talk less, you will actually grow more in terms of power, thus becoming the Panopticon.

Seeing everything that the shutdown fullcast user does on a daily basis, be it crashing lawnmowers, be it stumbling and injuring yourself severely in your own house, be it making ill-advised late-game wagers on fourth quarter point totals. She sees incognito mode even clearer the non-incognito mode. That's how powerful she is. All is cognito mode. All is cognitode.

also these are most of Santa's powers so Holly Holly is now like Lord of December I used to be married to a person who told me I had a lot in common with Ultron and I don't think it was a compliment at the time but now I'd like to think

it's maybe just my next form yeah anyway that's where I've been I'm going to be appearing even more randomly than usual for the next little bit while we try and fix your face fix your face Oh, fuck, it hurts to laugh, which is something I didn't think about. Well, luckily, you came to the shutdown fullcast.

Where we don't tell jokes. Anyway, it's really good to be back. I miss you guys, and I miss doing the show. And also, I'm supposed to be on fucking vacation right now. And my entire vacation has been spent in the emergency dentist, so that's cool. Anyway, that's festive. Let's go back to, so anyway, this is stressful. Yes.

It's a stressful time. That's, that's our. All right, we're going to do... Can I share a lesser stress real quick? Fuck, yes. It's not as important. I want to make clear this is not as important, but... Sure it is.

Jeff Fisher... I just decided. Jeff Fisher was connected with the USC job yesterday. Mm-hmm. And then was quickly disconnected from the USC job because that's how these things work. No. But there's a thing... First of all, I want to say, condolences to Jack Del Rio for not even getting mentioned when the

USC job comes open. like that's sad falling off of the guest list which is tricky but people you know because people make jokes not us obviously but people they've said oh well Jeff Fisher

can't go to USC because he can't go eight and eight there and we're closer to that being wrong than people realize and I want to walk you through that really quickly Hawaii game that's part of it yes so here's what has to happen

There's one thing that hasn't happened yet. We have to expand the playoff. But the conferences have been very open that they want to do this, including the PAC 12. Right. They like money. And beyond expanding the playoff, we need automatic bids for the conference champions.

But that also seems like something the PAC 12 is kind of it. Like, if we're doing this, the PAC 12 is not interested in like, how can we get more SEC teams in? Like, they want a spot. They haven't had that. They've had one. one to Washington technically you count so that's the first step we need that isn't true but

everything else is correct here so Ryan right one thing yeah just to add in yeah they'll take it because the pack 12 actually has no power in any of this theirs is yes sir whatever the whatever everyone who actually has a functioning football conference will do that is what the pack 12 will do and they will pretend like they had a hand in it pack 12 is extremely luscious malfoy extremely extremely like extremely look at my sweet beach hair. I tremble before, you dark lord. Extremely Italy in every international incident, right? Like, what did we do? We solved the problem. You're like, sure, Italy.

We made wine. That's what we did. We're the Pact 12. Our troops have wine. You can trade with our troops. Scottsdale's finest wine for you. So here's how you can go eight and eight at USC. Step one. You got to play your nine conference games. Let's say you go six and three in those games. USC did that in 2015, and by virtue of a tiebreaker, won the Pac-12 South. Now you have your three non-conference games.

Let's say you lose all of those. You're six and six. Possible. Holly pointed out that if you play Hawaii, you can get one extra game that's built into the NCAA rulebook to... If you play Hawaii at Hawaii. At Hawaii, yes. Yes.

If you play Hawaii on the road, because they want people to actually see... spend the time and the money to go play Hawaii, you can get one more. Let's count that as a loss two. You're six and seven. But I already said you've made the Pact 12 championship by virtue of your conference record at six and three. Let's give that to USC as a win. They're seven and seven. And because the Pact 12 champion has an auto bid to the playoff, despite being seven and seven and assuredly not in the top 25, because they lost on the road to Hawaii, among other things. USC is in the playoff.

They win their first round game. They're 8 and 7. They lose their second round game. They're 8 and 8. It's actually not hard at all. 8 and 8 is completely within the realm of possibility, and I believe it is Jeff Fisher's destiny to go 8 and 8 as head coach of the USC trip.

I just wanted that out there. This is good. This is brilliant. This is important work. It's me. I'm mama. I want to note that Jeff Fisher, seven and nine. I think we could push that as well.

Yes. You would need a little bit of chaos in the conference, but I think you can make that work. Or say Utah and UCLA are your first and second in the Pact 12 South, but they're both on NCAA sanctions. They're bull banned. Sure. Or say they don't play Hawaii at all,

and we go six and nine, huh, Jeff? I like the idea that Utah. Something to think about, Jeff. I like the idea that Utah has incurred NCAA sanctions somehow, but please. Yeah, for being too swole. I think would be the problem. Yeah, it's too burly. Like, clearly, you know.

Kyle Winnigham, your hair is too nice. Nebraska. It turns out has been cyberbullying, like, the mayor. Nebraska got in trouble for practicing too much, which was not really evidenced on the field, at least in week zero. But perhaps Utah gets dinged for lifting too much. Yeah, sure. Yeah, they have rabdo of the eyebrows. I didn't know that was a thing.

Rabdo heart. How do you feel about Jeff Fisher doing this and going? eight and eight or seven and nine you know i'm not hiring him to coach you hired to coach him i'm not a i'm not a u sc fan um i sort of feel you know kind of good and kind of bad sort of i see i see come see i see i see i'm sort of you know on the fence are you saying you're 50 50 oh i'm kind of 50 50 on the hire to be honest um i did have something else to point out that uh just came across the timeline.

It's from David Jones on Twitter, columnist for Penn Live. James Franklin has twice said in his current Zoom conference call this afternoon, when asked about distraction of his future being in the news, speaking of USC,

that his focus is on Illinois. The next opponent is Ohio State. But hey. You know, he might not be wrong there. He could just still be trapped in that moment. Yeah. He's like, I can't get out of it. I mean, I'm still thinking about Penn State, Illinois.

What's wrong with still thinking about Penn State Illinois? Also... I think one thing to consider is, you know, people took this as a denial of interest in the LSU or USC jobs, but could it in fact be interest in the Illinois job, once it is vacated as Brad Bilemma takes the LSU or USC job? Brad Bilema at LSU. SEC West Experience. Brett Bilemona would only need to tattoo a cauldron beneath the Hawkeye tattoo on his leg

so that it's being lowered in to make a delicious soup. Could it be on a spit, perhaps? They'll spit roasts. I like those. Oh, that means something else. Oh, God, I just listen. We all just, I wish we were

on video now because we all just sat there and let that... I'm not... I was waiting for us, so to speak. Yeah, that's what happens. I thought we were saved after we stopped talking about Jeff Fisher and then you did that. Nope. Dove right into it. Yeah, that's also what happens.

We had this experience at work one time a while back and we were doing like a, we were just doing like an ice breaking exercise and boy, now that I've said that this happened at work, it really doesn't sound like a workplace appropriate activity. But something happened and we were just building a giant comedy pyramid in the newsroom. over like making up names for sex acts that we could say that I forget which congressman was it was Mitt Romney or some shit and at one point somebody said I don't even remember it it was like a like the double watermelon carry or something and a kid in the middle of the room's head turned around and he just locked eyes with our boss and he just shook his head very slightly and I'm like oh wait wait did we get a real one and I can't remember the exact name now where I would look at it was something to do with watermelons.

And, uh, anyway. I, full Gallagher on you. Congratulations to Spencer. The full Gallagher, what is that one? It was, it was when you stomp on your partner's balls. I was going to say it's when Gallagher shows up to your bedroom and starts hitting watermelons while you're having sex. That sounds delightful.

That would be it. Hey, everybody noticed how you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? This is, this is, this is, this is important to remember that Gallagher sued his brother for trying to be Gallagher. His brother's last name is the same, I assume. Yes, yeah, but he went out on tour as Gallagher 2, T-O-O-O. And Gallagher was like, fuck that, I worked too hard. I built this empire.

You will not ride these watermelon-stained coat tails. You will not take, man, I want to know, by the way, like Gallagher must have had at one point a great agent. There are people who are famous who I... You think Jimmy Sexton had him? who I do not know. Yeah, Jimmy Sexton. That would be great if Jimmy Sexton's first client was Gallagher. First client.

Yeah. Hey, listen. You know what? C-1. C-1, right in the door, client one, Gallagher. Second client, Jimbo Fisher. Those are the people I built my entire empire on. Jimmy Sexton, mega agent, just gives people money.

That's all he does. Performing Arts Center. You're going to pay Gallagher two million, or he's walking. He's not going out there tonight. Shit. I bet he still commands amounts of, money that would appal you if you do Gallagher? Yeah.

Gallagher. What amount wouldn't appall you? For Gallagher? For a single appearance? For a single appearance? Single appearance from Gallagher. What number wouldn't appall you? That's for keynote speaker Chuck Gallagher. What is the proper amount? Okay, go ahead. Let's everybody guess. I have it up

here. I think you can get Gallagher for $15,000. I am going to bet you can get him for like $8K. Okay. And expenses. It's going to be some expenses. No, yeah, I'm assuming, I'm assuming expenses as well.

Yeah. Wait, Spencer, you just said that you thought he was still commanding ridiculous amounts of money. Do you think 8K is ridiculous? For Gallagher, yes. Okay. For Gallagher. Gallagher makes $72,000 a year and Spencer is furious. Uh, Jason, would you like to hazard a guess?

I will tell you both that you're both way off, but I'm not going to tell you in which direction. Okay, that's fine. Uh, I have already been studying his website, which includes a tab called poetry oh my god this poems are very long very very long that's what you're paying for

that's it he's going to show up and he's just going to read blank for a set you how much 30 to $30,000 $30,000 what if there are any public school teachers listening to

this Sorry Sorry than I usually am He did have Jimmy Sexton I think that proves Jimmy Sexton was Jimmy Sexton is Gallagher's agent Fuck Because Jimmy Sexton is going to get James Franklin

So much money In football news Gallagher has January 12th, 2016 He wrote a poem called I kicked football It's about no longer being a football fan January 12th, 2016

Oh is it Can I guess Why he's no longer a football fan. This is why I'm quitting Twitter. Does it have something to do with the anthem? No, just big Broncos fan who's frustrated at the team's lack of direction. So he's from North Carolina, lives in Ohio, and moved to... Tampa.

Tampa. Tampa. He's a Tampa product. USF was not involved in the 2016 college football season. so I'm trying to find out what I'm going to assume So this would be after Clemson beat Alabama I doubt that would sway him all that much

Although that did happen in Tampa There you go That's what that's what happened He saw that and said I'm retiring on top I have my suspicions As to why he might not be a football fan anymore I'm excited because there are going to be some people listening to this Who don't know who the fuck Gallagher is

And at no point have we stopped and explained. Sure. Hey, at least we'll listen. We stopped and explained who Spencer was. And frankly, that's all we can baby steps. I would like to watch a drama all about Gallagher deciding who will be the heir to his throne a la succession. Like exactly note for note succession, but it's Gallagher instead of a media empire. Who will be the true?

It is from daddy's mallet. Who will be the true Gallagher too? The true Gallagher too. the L's become like a robin numeral too. Yep. Yeah. Who will inherit my tarps? Oh, it's Shiv. Shiv Gallagher.

Shiv. Gallagher saying fuck off. Fuck off. It won't be that hat carrot top. I can tell you that. That's a very good

Gallagher voice. Yeah, that's amazing. I developed it along with this great tool. It's called the Sledge of Manic. Spencer, I think you might be honest something about why Gallagher got rid of football. Yeah, you think. I mean, what do you mean?

You think? I don't know anything about him other than he hits watermelons. I'm reviewing his poetry, okay? And he has a poem about Obama. Wasn't a big fan. So I'm going to go ahead and conclude that you were probably right. Sure. About his issues with the sport of American football.

He's got a lot of my pillows. I'm shocked. Really disappointing. He wasn't at the Capitol. How do we know he wasn't? Because there would have been a bit of watermelon splattered on an American flag or some shit. No, he's very... That wasn't me!

Well, who's got the watermelon, buddy? They didn't pay him $50,000 to smash watermelons there, so he didn't. That's true. Yeah. It didn't show up, yeah. That was Gallagher 2! It was Gallagher 2, the perfect crime. I really don't think, like, I'm aware of Gallagher and, like, watermelons, but I really

don't think I've ever seen or heard anything. If you are in our age cohort... Sorry to this man. If you are in our age cohort, you only know who Gallagher is. is because you watch too much comedy central after school. That's it. Yeah. Okay, yeah, that wouldn't have been me.

Yeah, or your parents. My parents went to numerous Gallagher shows. Numerous? Numerous. Yeah, multiple. I cannot, I cannot fathom the repeat value of a Gallagher performance. You go and watch a dude hit watermelons with a hammer. Evidently, it was wildly entertaining.

Also, please remember, we're all overstimulated. The threshold for human entertainment is actually very low. Very, very low. There was a man named Lepetamine who used to tour, France, farting. So, he would now, to be clear. Is he French, or did he, was, is this an American who went to France on a farting tour? Oh, yeah, it's Brett Biedelma's stage name. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, guys, here to play a couple songs for you. I call this one Moon River. No, well, yeah, Lepetamine. Le Petermann. He was just an amazing farter, and he could fart musically. and yeah so just in case you're like man who would go pay to see gallagher there's been worse there's been way worse people went to pay people went to see illinois football they paid somebody paid to go see we went to vandy yukon we paid we sold out a tour sir yeah it happens

people's actual entertainment threshold very very low people listen to this podcast thanks for sticking with us everybody that's right thank you for supporting the shutdown fullcast which just past four million downloads this past week since our re-homing to Learfield IMG. Thank you so much. For a dog with behavior problems. We are. How's this? This podcast is not good with kids, but it has a big heart.

We're not a breed, we're not a breed for the unexperienced handler. Okay. If you're some simple, basic, acela. corridor nabob okay we're not the breed terrier with diarrhea and anxiety but in the right hands he will be a good addition to your

home but no anxiety about the diarrhea that's right very comfortable with the diary very but confident the diarrhea itself is the affirmation the mantra for this pit bull ate a hole in the wall

of our trailer but he's real sweet that's the full cast How many downloads do we want to claim before that, like, just make up a number, any number? Just seven. Huge growth. The four plus since is accurate, but before and the before times, the great, the great shady mists, we could just put any number there. 12. 12.

Yeah, 4 million and 12. And then server came on board and to the moon. Just like Jesus, we had 12, and then the number took off. You are welcome. Thank you Thank you to the opposite server From a tree with 30 pieces of silver Lodged next to his nards

Best night of my life Yeah so Oh I got it I got it Bro's Garden of Gathrimony Yeah No No No

Chimes We wanted to do something That was going to be Yes Lighter Yes a little a little break in the action it's November I'm starting to you know like it's

coming up on November it's October 26th it's October 26th but we're coming up on November and both Richard and I like we were to do the show this week we were like Richard what show what show when I was doing thinking out loud on the SEC Network Richard Richard

Richard will remain a mystery Richard Richard Johnson who my co-hosts Richard Gallagher Richard Gallagher Not a big fan of Obama It's now the time to confess to our co-host that I made a word doc for Spencer that just has

like lines for introduce Jason we're past that Ryan introduce Ali and he's been reading off it but now he's at the end of it and this is what happens when he's freestally this is like when you run out of scripted plays you're like well just time to dip it in the playbook do you guys remember that SNL sketch from like 1991

where it's I think it's Tom Hanks's Headwood Harry no it's Will Ferrell as a weatherman and not an Agastire Nancy what's her name who's Mary Sherry O'Terry, isn't it? Is it Sherrioterry?

But the teleprompter goes out and they go completely Lord of the Flies on this like Good Morning Tucson weather station. Tim Meadows is the weatherman. Yeah. Somebody holds up like a severed limit at some point. Yeah, they saw off Tim Meadow's head because they can't get the teleprompter to work.

Yeah. Anyway, hey Spence. Hey, so we wanted to do something that was a little more relaxing because, as my co-host on the SEC Networks, thinking out loud, which you may view on Monday at 7 p.m. Or D.R. Richard Gere. Or D.V.R. Richard Johnson.

It's Gonson. Richard Dawkins. I found the track, and y'all are just yanked it back off. Sorry. Oh. Oh. Are we? For once. Are we? Yeah. So we were talking, we were like, this is the point in the season where we get slightly tired. We're like, this would be nice to have, like, our own. and bi-week. So the bi-week we have chosen, so to speak, is a brilliant fantasy draft idea

that Jason came up with. Jason, hit us with it, baby. Yeah. So as you know, on this show, typically week in week out, we bring you nothing but hard-hitting football analysis. And this is the week that we have chosen to step away from that. Thank you. This week and only this week. Um, so, uh, we, we have numerous episodes about, uh, certain topic, uh, topic areas that we come back to from time to time, fast food. We hit fairly recently, video games. That's one that goes hand in hand with fast food that we have not discussed in quite a while. Um, so thought about doing a sort of a desert island fantasy draft based around video game franchises. If there were only a small handful that you could ever play ever again, which one would you prioritize, which one,

would you try to cling most desperately too. I have created a spreadsheet and we'll figure out a way to tweet it out so that you, the listener, can play along. But first up, the five of us, including, of course, Captain Serber, are going to draft. And as we go, you know, feel free to explain. Feel free to, you know, to internally evaluate each series and so on and so forth. I have randomized the draft order and I have included. a big board of literally hundreds and hundreds of franchises, most of which I've never heard

of. And Holly is up first with the first selection on the board. What's up? Oh, wow. While I am sorely tempted, don't look at my fucking board. While I am sorely tempted to snake from Spencer because he was reading the names aloud as he made his draft board before the episode. Pulled a Jerry Jones on putting the posting the board on TV.

I'm sorely tempted to snake from this. I'm taking not my first love, but certainly my longest-lasting and most satisfying video game relationship, and that is the Mario Kart family of events. Incredible choice. Thank you. Oh, we should probably explain also why I am only taking the Mario Kart games. Yes.

The games that are listed on this giant dock specifically come from the Wikipedia of video game franchises, which breaks up Mario, a few others as well, but Mario is the main concern. There's so many Mario games. And, like, you know, if you got every Mario game, that'd be kind of the obvious choice. But having to break it down further,

just to keep things fair. And I still think Mario Card is an excellent suggestion. It was number one on my board as well. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I figured I would, like, I figured I would stay away from GTA and, like, my ceiling for video games is extremely juvenile. Like, my tastes in video games

have not really evolved much. past Nintendo 64 so I figured that I will be drafting free and clear of most of you I have a prediction for Ryan and I'm going to share it with Holly's just as a personal like like bet between the two of us as to which one are you no kipering me are you the stakes of this bet I am Mel Kuyprey I'm saying on your draft board here's what you need organizationally right now I'm tempted to go in a different direction Oh, okay. What are the stakes of this bet, though?

He just showed this to me. I don't really understand. Do I have to take a side against this bet? No, I just want it recorded, right? Just like witness. Oh, you want right points. Right. I'm going from right points because I think he's going to select.

If not this, then the next round. Well, that's, that's great. I can't wait to find out. I just want to know it. For assigning draft grades, Holly gets an A plus on the first pick. Thank you. Yeah. Hand down without question.

A plus, yeah. Top talent. Yep. Okay. Ryan is up next So I have the next pick I'm going to Spencer's trying to get in my head

I'm going to put that over here I don't have time for that I want a series that has a wide repertoire and I also want something that there's going to be more of in the future

I am like trying to future proof a little bit I want something that I have a good assembly now but also has earned for development and that's why I'm taking the legend of Zelda yeah brutal

god damn see that's what I thought was going to be first on Jason board. Oh, I'm knee-capped, man. Also, Spencer, you really thought he was going to take Dr. Mario? It's the only game he has worked back to the entire time that I've known him. He was

completely convinced that you were going to take Dr. Mario. I am so, like, you're going to pick Dr. Mario. I know it. I'm just going to put it out there. Even if he was going to take Dr. Mario, like, my actual favorite childhood video game is like my fifth pick because I know nobody's coming for it. Like, you don't need to spend a first

rounder on Dr. Mario. I can't. I thought he had the passion for it. I was It's the only time I've ever heard my mother-in-law call her own son, a son of a bitch. I'm going to be very honest. Legend of Zelda was my intended pick. But when you were like, I think I know what Ryan was doing, my first thought was, well, I'll go pick Dr. Mario instead. Vindication! Hand to God.

So Spencer does understand some broken part of me, but yeah. Oh, wait, Jason, how many rounds are we doing? We're going to do three, and then we're going to do a mystery round. Okay. Oh, okay. Ryan, obviously, A-plus, incredible pick. If we were basing it strictly on how much I love each series, this would have been number one on my board. Mario Card is like sort of, you know, it's fun for all the ages, fun for the kids, and so forth.

Yeah, I thought Zelda for sure would be your top one. I have a fucking Zelda tattoo, so, yeah. This is a pretty brutal snipe, but excellent choice, A-plus selection. Thank you. The depth and breadth of the series, unparalleled. And Cap and Serber is up next. I think Ryan had some good reasons what he wanted out of his pick. I want one thing and that is blood.

And I draft Mortal Kombat. That is a racist thing. Somebody, let's just get a clip of server saying, I want one thing and that is blood. Let's just keep that handy. I want one thing and that is blood. Yes, indeed. I think that's a great pick because they've done a lot to deepen the lore and the backdrop of that game while keeping the essential

gory rip your spine out. Folks. Sad enough in the comments if you give a shit about Mortal Kombat's lore. Someone does. Spencer breaking open the Mortal Kombat

Silmarian. Serber is with me. I am right. Is that how you say that? I thought it was Silmarillion. I don't know. I don't know. Did I just Hartzell myself?

Am I hopeful that? Godfrey somewhere stomping up a storm, I'm sure. Don't worry. It's still milk. I would like to offer that getting lost in the crypt is a game in and of itself within all the Mortal Kombat series like you could literally for all the story you could do

or just the tournament mode or just the head-to-head shit like you could also just go into the crypt for like four hours and try and find shit. I would also like to put in another point in defense of this if this is a, as Jason said at the beginning, a true, you know, literal in this, and as literal as we can make it, Desert Island draft, that means that on this Desert Island, you have, like, stand-up cabinet games, too.

That's a nice change-up, right? Because if you are on a Desert Island with only video games to entertain you, do you want to be, like, sitting in the same beanbag chair in front of the TV a whole time? No, you get up, stretch your legs, go over to the console game and, like, play a joystick style. And also, one of these back, one of those big cabinets, that's good for, you could use that for defense. Shelter. Yeah. You could strip it for parts.

Server, were you allowed to play Mortal Kombat as a child? Yeah. Yeah, I played it with my dad when I was... Hell yeah. On Sega, not nearly as cool, but on Sega Genesis, which is just what we happen to have. Sega, which had blood, S&ES, did not. Oh, really? I didn't know that.

Okay. Yeah, and Super Nintendo, I believe... This and Street Fighter, I believe they replaced the blood with a vomit. Or indoor sweat. Wow, we made the game really sweaty. Each game company is assigned a humor of the body A NeoGeo got yellow bile And that's why they haven't succeeded

NeoGeo which costs like a quarter million dollars a machine or whatever That's the one where everyone in Mortal Kombat is shitting and farting As they punch each other What you decide to go with? We went with Jiz. It was weird Jiz isn't a humor It's humorous though Yeah

Fair enough There I mean there's a guy named Jax Of course there's Jiz Oh, y'all, we forgot to talk about liberty. Oh, yeah. Speaking of both jizz and humor. Speaking of jerk-offs. Anyway, moving on.

Oh, I thought you were going to say Spencer is the next pick. Oh, thank you. Yeah, no, I thought that was the transition. Oh, that's absolutely where I was going. So, I recognize that this pick is for talent and maybe not organizational health. Sometimes you just want to grab the best player on the board. You're not prioritizing organizational health? No. I am going to go ahead and make a sentimental pick.

I'm picking the Red Dead franchise. I understand it's only two games. Or three games. There's Red Dead Revolver. Yeah, yeah, you get Red Dead Revolver. And I'll take all the DLC. There's a wacky whole world of DLC and an utterly broken online. Multiplayer, like a completely broken multiplayer. you get the big horse you get the big horse you can get the big horse he is your friend so yeah i'm going to go ahead and take red dead because i could replay at least two of those games probably 10 times each it's a good choice that's a good choice it's it's it's a tricky choice for the for the desert island one because so much of the red dead experience is about like

you got a you got to scramble and make do and i don't know on a desert island if you're like Ah, time to unwind and go on some belts. I think it will be because on a desert island, you'd just be like, man, do I have to eat another crab? And meanwhile, like, you know, you're bringing down, like, Buffalo. And you can just punch strangers. And there's nobody on the island. So you can go talk to people. That's fair.

And you can refill your moral meter by saying, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy. Let's also point out Redoubt 2 has both desert and island. So you're getting valuable life skills that will. serve you well. Training. I am up next with the fifth selection and my board is decimated losing Mario Card in Zelda.

I'm going to take a big swing. All right. We're going to go for pure entertainment value and metal gear. Come on down. I want a franchise that will teach me about the world, history, psychology, genealogy, religion,

politics science future futurism uh body horror international finance and there's like 10 games and half of them are good and half of them are horrible and uh you know i'm looking forward to getting to a to parse which of which yeah and i'll learn real life tactical skills from my island is invaded by like a senator who can tackle me i will hide in a box yeah i'll have so so there's so Metal Gear games, it'll be delivered in a box, and voila, now I'm invincible. It will be, it will be very stressful when you realize you can't fault and extract yourself from your desert island, though. Hmm.

Unless maybe you figure it out. Maybe you can't. You can just do what I do in the game, which is try to fault and extract everything. If you meet like soldiers, you know, fault and extract. A rock, fault and extract. God's hug! You're coming with me. All right, so at the end of the first round, we also have sort of a wild card that I have titled The Public at Large.

What I have done is I have listed out each franchise according to all-time sales figures. These will now be removed one by one. First off for four is say goodbye to Tetris, which there's recently a new edition of Tetris that is supposedly the best ever. I don't know. It seems like they're probably all very similar to me. all right beginning round two public at large again gets to choose one um this one this one is uh probably not high on any of our boards i'm gonna guess but still it's a it's a consideration call of duty it's now off the board sorry to m and m and m and m but call of duty is no longer available um also the commercial for this has the worst song i've ever heard in my life the latest to the 7000th version of call of duty it's playing during football games. Worst fucking song I've ever heard in my life.

Oh, God, yes, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. It sounds like the slam through the witches and dagula as covered by like a coffee shop band or something. It's the most horrible thing I've ever heard in my life. And now we're the acoustic Rob Zombie tribute band. I really, I too really appreciated Rob Zombie back in his analog days. Corn Cobb Zombie, the bluegrass band that plays nothing but Rob Zombie.

Um, So, let's see here. With my next pick, I'm going to take NCAA college football. Oh. I now have all of the ones in the vault, and if they ever make a new one, I get it shipped to me on my island. Fair enough. Do you get that mod with all the new shit on it? Like, do you have a j-tagged Xbox on the island with you?

Yeah, I've just decided, now that you mention it, that's coming with me, too. Nice. I can start my Grand Canyon University dynasty from my island. Spencer, you're up again. I am. And this being a desert island,

and I want a franchise that's really going to take me through long periods of time. And it is on the board. I looked at it just to make sure because there's some PC overlap. But I'm going to take civilization. Oh, shit.

Off the board, because I thought, as an answer, like, what game have I actually blown the most hours per game? Not total, because the total is NCAA football. I've played that more than I have played any video game in my life. But which one per game has the highest hours per game, right? And it's SIV. I can't get out of a SIV game for anything less than two hours a set. It's not going to happen. So I will do Civilization also enjoying the irony of Sivv.

in my civilization-free outpost while building an entirely recreating society. The only thing more ironic would be if I had picked Far Cry. I can actually give you one more thing that would be more ironic and it was on my board

before I realized this was the Desert Island draft. I had Animal Crossing. See, which drops you on your own Desert Island. I might keep taking, I might take it, yeah. I guess playing Animal Crossing on a Desert Island would be like playing the Sims from your dorm. If you want to talk about fulfilling

organizational needs, That is a game about fulfilling organizational needs. You're Tom Nook is the GM and you're just out there prospecting. I definitely would not have survived year one of COVID without Animal Crossing. That is correct. That is correct. So I'm going to go ahead and take Siv off the board. Strong, shrewd.

You could easily start one game and blow through a week. Kill a week of clock on the Desert Island. I have amended the big board. I realized NCAA was not included in Wiki's, list so going forward it will be there um i i you may vote to overthrow me as commissioner that's fine that's that's on that's uh that's your prerogative as um as jams but going forward all your success uh electing alabama's homecoming queen by the way what does that mean oh you know what i'm just going to give you an article to read afterwards and okay you can catch up there's there's been some

there's been some truculence and some shenanigans at the do y'all really not know about the Alabama homecoming queen I heard about it no listen we need to we need to just have Alex McDaniel on the show because she's way more plugged into this than I am I really only know about it because as a Tennessee person who grew up going to third Saturday games with friends and family members who were of Bama extraction the election is right around this time and there is a there is a shadowy political political cabal on the University of Alabama's campus that controls student government elections, including for some reason, homecoming queen, and is like a feeder program into corrupting local Tuscaloosa elections. Anyway, and this year's election was an especially, an especially contested one. So it's always good time. Exciting. Also, Spencer just left the room. So let's see if we can draft for him. Oh, he misses pick? Is this, is he like the Viking? No, he just, he actually.

he did this for your thing I actually forgot that he picked three minutes ago so I guess I tried to Vikings for him and it didn't work that's a server up didn't it yeah Spencer has somewhat

inspired me with his sieve pick I wasn't going to do this but then he reminded me yes I probably would spend 30 hours in a week on total war the total war series Wow

that includes Shogun Rome, Napoleon the barbarian invasion and then you told me mods were available so that really opened shit up if I can go to the forums and get a few mods so I will go with the total war series

with my second pick strong very nice and also a lot more still more blood a lot of blood I'm going to be very alone and very violent you're working through some stuff it sounds like

on the island but you're learning a lot about history both our worlds and the diplomacy is an important part of the game guys no I'm saying it's good to work through stuff better than better than keeping it bottled up let's see here Ryan

this is tough because you really want to take Dr. Mario and it's still on the I mean you don't want Spencer to be right I follow your heart no follow your heart that's not my issue follow my issue is that the Super Mario series is on the board and that's a very good that's a very good roster so strong but I feel like you right now that if you don't take it it's not making it past me I know but I don't want to like I don't want to be spiteful and just take it for that reason oh do it you this is a game Ryan, do it for that entire churning Reddit Hive

that thinks I'm trying to bully you off the show. You'll win one day. You'll win one day. I know. I know. I'm excited. What a roster you'd have with Zelda and Mario. I'm going to take rock band.

I'm going to take rock band. Ooh. A different kind of throwback. Yeah. I like this because it's kind of like dual entertainment. I'm also just like listening to a wide variety of music, which is a good thing to have access to. and not in the way of like, oh, cool, I own one Madden game,

so now I'm going to listen to the same eight songs until I die. And, yeah, I think, like, rock band, I haven't played it in a long time, and it feels like it has fallen out of favor. But when it was fun, extremely solid individual game, party game, whatever. I'm just seeing you alone on the desert island with the mic and hand saying, way! They don't love you like I love you.

oh my god this would be your time enough at last where you finally master like what was it like was mississippi queen guitar hero or a rock band you get to the end and he turns around and he's fucking nailed it and just there's no one there can we get um high on cocaine can we get guesses from each of you on how many songs ryan would now possess if he had the entire rock band series including like the expansions or whatever all of them every single rock band song 700 i think it's over a thousand. Okay. Yeah, I'll go 3,000.

Okay. Surber, what you got? I'm trying to think how many would just be the, because they had, he has the entire Beatles catalog. Right. Oh, shit. That's like 700 songs by itself. Yeah.

I mean, I'll go with 4,000. Okay. If we're including Beatles, then I think Spencer would be right, because the rock band Wiki itself says 2,529, and that's without including either the Beatles game or the Green Day game, which I did. even know about. I won't be playing the Green Day game.

The Beatles one includes 45 songs. So I would say, I would say Spencer's closest to 3,000. Yeah, that's, I feel great about that. That's like,

let's see, just even if you set it on just auto play, that's 10,000 minutes. That's 166. That's, that's an entire week of music right there. An entire seven days of music.

You could have a, just playing just sitting there playing lazy eye by the Silver Sun pickups in the middle of the jungle he's he's just playing just what i needed by the cars over and over and over and over again is that so hard to believe no it's not looking at a two can and going and wasting all my time also you're getting uh this is an excellent upper upper body exercise oh yeah drums for a couple hours and oh yeah you you feel it yeah you're you're going to get mean as it listen i think you could spend so long on the island you might actually master the drum part to no one knows by queens of the stone age and then i'll be rescued 10 years

later everybody like yeah you still can't sing for shit god damn you can you can you can say words in rhythm though spencer has limited like music references from 2004 to 2006 i was like because like maps and lazy eye are both like very they're both on the first rock they're both on the first rock band. Are they? Okay. Yeah. That's why I'm checking them.

Yeah. They're both only on like the heat seekers chart too though. So that was my, I thought I was like he's there is only listing stuff from Fuse the dive in 2000. No, no, no. Silver Sun pickups got an early,

I will tell you how I seemed to came to Silver Sun pickups. They had an early Adam Freeland remix, which was my entree into that. No, but first rock band, maps, uh, I believe we had lazy eye. You got, give me shelter.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. You got, I believe more than a feeling was in there, I believe. You got go your own way. Yep. Yeah. You got some paramour.

Serber, I'm dropping this in the chat because it just slaps and I feel like you need to know about it. There was a Rage Against Machine Testify. That's the one I want to see Ryan do in the jungle. That's the one I would see on the beach. Who's going to have some. It'll be like the music video from Wayne's World. You remember? Testify!

Now I went on a full day of Ryan doing Beastie Boys sabotage in the jungle by himself. With the costumes and everything. Don't rescue me. I'm fine. Rockband is a fantastic choice. That's a easy to the top five choice now that I actually think about it. Yeah, that's excellent. Hey, you know what's expensive video games?

Knives. Oh, shit. No, that is true. Parliaments of knives. No, video games, they're expensive. Easily, I spend, I think, 35% of my take-home pay on Robux alone. How do I keep it going? How do I plan for the future when my two sons, siphoning me dry as they do,

will only increase in their thirst for video game cryptocurrencies so that they can buy special in-game trains? Not that I'm speaking directly from my personal experience. but I am. How much is a train run you these days? 500 Robux. They only sell them in increments of 400, Ryan. I'm so glad you asked, is this predatory pricing? Do I want to punch some random game dev in the face

over this development? You bet I do, but you know what? I don't do that. I'm an adult. I solve my problems, and I prepare and invest. I invest. Well, if you are looking to purchase $500 worth of fake trains you will be one one hundredth of the way to your destination if you create an

account at acorns.com slash full cast and then each time you purchase a fake train a portion of that purchase will go into your acorns account and eventually if you buy enough trains you will have enough money to retire and buy a fake train and live in it which I believe is how retirement works I'm from the 1920s except I have access to the internet and thanks to that I can go to acorns.com slash fullcast and get my free $5 worth of trains. So to be clear, Spencer, your sons are taking from you in digital trains

and you are saving for them for their futures as well, knowing that those futures will be more digital trains. Yeah, yeah, and knowing that the return on investment in the digital train market to this point is negative. So these don't work like NFTs, like they're not NF trains? They stand You know what they stand for Nifty fucking trains

Nifty fucking trains I mean what more do you want than that Yeah Why they got to make money Why can't you just enjoy the nifty fucking trains The railway magnate Hall family I love this

This is a great journey for you On a train I'm glad you're enjoying it And I'm glad Acorns is there To be there Every step of the way As I plan my financial future Around my son's

Freemium and in-game Video Game purchases. Oh, what's that? The next stop is Homefieldapparel.com. Well, passengers, buckle up. Toot, toot, to, to, to, Homefield Apparel. Today dropped four new schools. I'm going to see if I can do them from memory. I know there's

Georgia State. There's Troy. There's Furman. And I believe the fourth school they dropped was Lamar. That sounds right. So as always, our friends at Homefield dropping new and exciting schools adding new shirts for existing schools all the time new designs uh we are pretty firmly i think we are past fake fake fall i think we've nicely sort of exited that at this point um i think we're i think we're into autumn 1.0 yeah so so now's the time to start to start increasing your cruneck and hoodie supply which you can like can you ever have too many options no you

can't because unless you own literally every home field sweatshirt, which if you do, congratulations to you, you are probably a digital train magnate yourself, there's always room for more. That's, that's, and when you use offer code fullcast, you get 20% off, you're increasing, some say dangerous supply of fleece. They're cotton, but whatever. Your first order at least. So that's right.

If you have, so this would apply if you have come into a large possession of home field gear and are looking to add your own touch to it with your purchase of your own. Yes. Yeah, I'm especially fond of the Georgia State drop because it has the old like... MC Scat Cat? It has the old MC Scat Cat. It does, yeah. It kind of looks like Spencer when he takes his glasses off.

It kind of does, yeah, like me and MC Scat Cat. Holly is up next with two straight selections. so a quick word of a quick word of wondering at the commiss here a question is the word that I was searching for yes I am ultimately going to have we're only doing three rounds three rounds plus mystery round

will will the mystery round be a game selected of our own free will or is that what makes it a mystery I won't be assigning anything but the let's just say the list will condense somewhat. So Ryan, in actually very typical Ryan fashion, Ryan has fucked me over here by being a nice guy

because he's left me with three choices that I really, really, really want to make. And I just assumed Mario would be gone by this point. What are the three? So the Super Mario franchise represents probably the one that I have sunk the most into as a child, because again, I went straight from Nintendo to Super Nintendo to 64 and then didn't really play video games again until the switch came out. And the amount of time that I have since sunk into specifically like Mario Maker 2 into Wii Universe Deluxe into, of course, Odyssey, which was a fantastic game, in terms of like the biggest universe of games to bop around in.

Like I still love Super Mario World. That's probably still my favorite. it. I could happily spend hours at that game. I'm not really worried about Mario saturation because I don't feel like you spend too much time in that world like playing Mario Kart. But

my two favorite games to play as a misspent child and teen are not in the Mario universe. They are in much smaller franchises on their own. And if I take the Mario universe not knowing what's

coming in the mystery round, I'm going to have to leave one of them out in the cold, and either one is a heartbreaker. I'm going to go ahead and take... I'm going to take Super Mario off the board with my second pick. And if I had to pick three games within the Mario Universe, I would probably confine myself to Super Mario World. I can't ever say the whole thing. Super Mario Brothers Universe Deluxe,

the new one that they ported, the side-scroller that they ported over for the Switch. Oh. And Odyssey, which is just maybe. with so much. I love games that you can tell people who made them love them. Yeah. Really loved them. Just with little touches everywhere. And obviously, I'm not much

of a first-person shooter. Although, if there was more of a golden eye universe, it would be, you know, a lot higher up on my board. So that starts round three, right? Yes. Yep. You go back to back. So, I don't know what is going to condense

in the mystery round, but I'm going to take a gamble here because I have two remaining beloved childhood games that I cannot imagine living life on my desert island without but one of them is fairly obscure so I'm going to set that one aside for the moment and just to be safe I'm going to pick up Donkey Kong so that I can take Donkey Kong country with me wherever I'm going powerful this is a coherent universe of games it I kind of I kind of like that. Like, I'm not worried about, I'm not worried about saturation.

I kind of like the idea of having a contained sort of, a contained sort of sphere for my, for my entertainment. I'm sure I'll come to regret it. As with most of my, most of my desert island choices. I think you have like 30, 40, 50 something games here. Right, right. They're like, I don't think I'm going to get bored because I can hot back and forth between, you know, so many different consoles.

excellent but I am concerned because my all-time favorite game actually isn't a Nintendo game at all it's a Sega game I'm betting nobody else has it and I'm worried I'm not going to be able to grab it in the mystery round so there's still some drama here yeah it's amazing by the way how many amazing legendary large profitable franchises are still on the board like folks folks I thought you were going to take Battletoads for sure ma'am there are options out here I I can leave is on my board but I decided I didn't want to be mad. I don't want to be mad on the desert island,

and I'm just going to be mad if I take Battletoes. You could leave me on an island for 40 years, and I still wouldn't beat the jumping level. I wouldn't beat it. Oh, no, the Jeskies level. Yeah. It's the Jeskies for me. Battletoads is a terrible game.

It was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. It's an affront to God. Ryan. So I'm going to try something very different with my last pick. Rock Band and the Zelda series are games I've played a lot I know what I'm getting

I'm excited to go back to it I'm going to pick a series that has some depth to it or at least some breadth to it but I've never played any of these so I don't know because I want to try something if I just have these two

I feel like I'm okay I'm going to make a reach and try for something that's a new experience I would like the Halo series oh very nice never played a minute of a single one, but I would like the newness of that experience. Ryan, I think, so according to the wiki, you're getting not only Halo, you're getting like Halo tactics, because it didn't, the wiki didn't break it up. So that's an excellent

choice. Strong performances by Holly and Ryan. Yeah, damn. I, yeah, I really admire, I really admire this strategy, Ryan. Thank you. I also thought very, very, very carefully about taking Virtua Tennis Because Virtuit Tennis is fucking fun You're kind of on the same track with me In terms of thinking And I'll show you why When I unveil my final pick

Sure Serber do you want the bloodiest game still available I assume Duke Nukem This is totally going to be disappointing for everyone Not entertaining in the least Super fucking

I'm taking Echo the Dolphin Yeah super fucking Way more fucked up than Mortal Kombat that to be quite frank. This is not a game that any of y'all would select. I wasn't worried about anyone stealing this one. Jason, I already think I told you what I was going to select.

And it's the Pro Cycling Manager series. Because the only thing that's been more time on than Total War is Pro Cycling Manager creating a team and trying to win seven Tour de France. I've never heard of this game. This is like FIFA, but you're... No, I think it's more like football manager. Yeah, football manager, but bicycles. No, I think it's more like

FIFA. Okay, so here's the thing. It incorporates the overarching, like, you can control everything aspect that is football manager, but there is actually a gameplay aspect to it. Like, you play each rate, like you race each race, you control your entire team, essentially,

like you're in the team car as the director's portif and it's fucking lame. I know it's super lame. No, no, no, no. No problem. This is not lame. What the fuck are you talking about. No, this is, no, because I understand the football manager mania, very real. If you start on it, you

will not stop until you have taken your tiny little Icelandic soccer club with 30 fans and you have gotten them into the EPL somehow. That is, you know, so you've gotten it at here saying we're going to win the fucking Jero de Talia. Don't fuck with me. I know. I don't love this.

Not only am I going to win the fucking Jero de Tadalia, I'm going to win the Tour de France, and I'm going to win the Vuelta, Spainia. And I'm going to win the world championships. You're goddamn right you are. to waste Perry to Robay, right? Yeah, oh, the hell of the North, are you kidding me? And then, on well, okay, so

that's a whole other thing, right? Like, I could take, I love this energy. I could take Ginn Wevelgum, Ron Von Von Vlanderan, and Scorpion. So that's the Cobble Classic sweep, or I could do the Ardenne sweep and win Amster of gold. I love the Ardenne. You guys are making fun of me. La Fletcher.

No, we're not. No, no, no, no. No. I get somebody. I've spent so much. I've spent so much like okay so june july we work at college sports we don't do anything like we rewatch old game don't tell me that listen i don't do anything i don't know about these guys i don't do anything i just park it on pro cycling manager when they release the new game every july and the fact that i am a member of legripetto a french cycling game forum for this game for all the mods like i wouldn't have picked this if mods weren't available because frankly they don't have the licensing for the entire world tour or even the

European tour for that matter. Can I ask a serious question? How did you get into this? Like were you into cycling and then this was sort of a side? So yeah my best friend and I we started a band in eighth grade

and after eighth grade before freshman year he just would come to my house every day in the summer and we would play music and we would just have band practice but he came over super early because we had cable which included the Versus Network. I think it was it was either OLN or Versus at first.

And yeah, I got really into the race then because of the Schleck brothers, a couple of Luxembourgish riders who I thought were really fucking cool. And then we got road bikes and we started riding and then I just got really into, I do own a global cycling network log in. Shout out to McMansion Hill on Twitter. She's the only cycling rider that excites me as much as y'all do when you write about college football, I highly recommend checking out derailer.net, her blog. And she also writes for cycling news as well.

I have overjoyed that you and I are like the only, you and I have overlapped on, of all things, McMansion Hell's love of cycling. This is the best. Yeah. I would like to back up for a second because a few minutes ago, server said, you were all making fun of me. And it's true that we were all laughing. I feel pretty safe being for all of us when I say that we were laughing in delight.

like this this energy this this unholy light that shines out from behind your eyes when you talk about the cycling manager game yeah dude i do you know how many hours i spent playing animal crossing during covid yeah like this this light that comes up behind your eyes this is what makes it not a lame choice on its own the fact that it can capture that much of your attention still after all this time and hold it makes it an ideal desert island like this is a master stroke by you because you like you kept your first pick late and you got to spend value early you're killing this draft dude yeah it's i mean it's a really it's a really big moment for me i should admit this i bought a pc gaming computer to play pro cycling manager nice it's that it demands that level of power oh okay so i will take i'll take like a video at some point of me playing this game like it's like the GPS like mapping of everything and how realistic it is and with the actual terrain there's a lot of isolated objects so you've got another little world to play with in there too like literally absolutely like I can go to Paris any day I want

if I just want to play stage 21 of the tour I'll go I'll go right down the chansalisee look at the arc to triumph the Eiffel tower all of that shit uh this is listen no no this is I'm cracking up because you sound like Felder right? Yeah, no, this is laugh at the end. Then at the end, Captain pours champagne all over himself. I sure do.

Right before I go into the dopey control and be involved. Yeah, and fail. And fail. I truly cannot overemphasize how little we are, how we are not making fun of you right now.

This is the joy of being. I hope the NFL owners are this supportive behind the scenes, man. Yeah. They're not. They're not. When Jerry's like, you know,

I play skeet with human people, I just shoot them out of a catapult and I just shoot them. Target shooting. And they're like, yeah, man yeah uses for human people i promise you that's not how jerry jones

plays skeet no is that the second one we've had it wasn't me it wasn't me that time how about those cowboys that's the second one since the draft began there was a whole other

yeah this is the coolest pick on the board yeah this is by far the coolest pick by the way i think you've also i just love that this game exists that if you look at your picks you have mortal combat total war and Pro Cycling Manager, and I see no dissonance between those picks.

Pro Cycling Manager is about blood. It's about endurance. It's the three genders. Yeah. Like, this is about pain. Yeah, I think this is also maybe finishing school for like a European fascist general. I learned a lot about, I learned a lot about blood from the other two, and then I learned about blood doping in pro cycling marriage. Sure.

There you go. That's beautiful. Yeah, who of the rest of us is doing continuing education, not me? Mm-hmm. All right. Spencer, you're up next. Can I propose a stupid trade? I'm all ears.

I like stupid ideas, so. I would give you Metal Gear for this pick. Wow. That it's very strong? Snake! Oh my God, how didn't we think to do that when we were serpentining? We had a serpentine draft and just left the snake right here on the... No, I would, but unfortunately you have hit me on my last pick when I need to fulfill a slot that Metal Gear does not. Believe it or not, Metal Gear does not contain within it every other kind of game. I know that Hideo Koetima would probably be like, no, it is a sports game. I designed it. It is a sports and a spirit game and also a shopping simulator. Yeah, like he would say that all of these things are true. They are not and I need to make a very different pick. So I have a pick.

that I think is maybe kind of a curveball, but very much fits in with Ryan's notion and with server's notion of having a repetitive, yet expansive universe where you can play a game and sort of fill in the gaps in the story with your own characters and build your own little world, which I think is gonna be very important. I do, but sieve is a real-time strategy game.

It's not anything close. I need a sports game, like at all times in the repertoire, And I need a sports game that I think is going to be one where I can get a lot of volume, some variety, but enough consistency across the years of the franchise so that I get a definable product that I can play over and over and over and over and over again and never exactly perfect. And when I think about a game, if I don't have the NCAA franchise on board, I have to find something that comes close to that. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to select the entire PGA tour video games.

I had a feeling you were going to go Tiger, yeah, yeah. The PGA Tour video game series or the Tiger Woods video game series? Because, PGA Tour video game series is very recent. No, we have some semantics because originally PGA Tour Golf in 1990 comes out. And it evolves into the brandy, co-branded Tiger Woods, 1999 PGA Tour Golf. According to the Wiki, PGA Tour would include all of these things. Okay, all right. Yeah.

So I did, I did manage to get the. lawyers to look at that before I made the pick. So not only do I get every PGA tour game ever made, including every course, every build a player, which I got to say, the build a player element of this, you can pick the kind of swing you have, including old man swing. If that's what you really want your player to look like, I am fond of making a guy named Red who golfs in flip-flops has a beer gut and no ass whatsoever and appears to be somewhere around the age of 62 at all times um go dogs yeah go dogs like i basically make a dude from

georgia um and i'm never going to ever perfect it because it's golf i'm going to keep coming back to it so i get diverse geography i can make multiple career modes including across multiple multiple multiple seasons if i want and um i get by my estimation at least 25 games including all the DLC. I'm going to be busy for a while. It's a lot of golf. Yeah. That's a strong group. You got a story game, a strategy game, and a sports game.

Yep. Strong all around. Strong. I think we've all done pretty good work, and we ain't done yet. I'm up next. I have Metal Gear NCAA NCAA football, and I, in hindsight, Metal Gear was a reach, was a panic pick. I still like it. I'm still glad.

As I slip into insanity alone in my Desert Island. I don't know any game series that is a better fit for that than Metal Gear. So it's still a strong place in my roster. Just in hindsight, I wish I'd rearrange the big board a little bit better because I'm choosing between a lot of strong picks, Microsoft Flight Simulator. It's very high. Quality way to leave my Desert Island and to just, I think the ultimate goal with, you want a game where you can just sort of delete a weekend, just disappear, vanish. no game does that better for me than the Sims if you you know play the Sims like once a year and it's like what the fuck just happened where am I it's Wednesday now right also City Skylines the City series it's basically just one game you play that's fine I would take that over Sim City and I am also considering the one that I think I will pick this would go a bit differently if I'd freed up a pick due to better management I'm going to go with the endless universe

endless legend and endless space in my opinion is the best sieve style game um it's it builds on the sieve format in really creative ways where like every faction is like game-breakingly different um and obviously one of them is very space i love space sci-fi that type of stuff um you have like it just just wildly different nations um and yeah i could easily just delete a week with that on my list um and it you know there could be i would throw this to a separate judging committee but they also have made a civ style game with like real world nations romans and americans and so forth called humankind i don't think it connects but if someone were to throw that on my pile as well i wouldn't turn it away i haven't played it yet but uh that is my choice up next the public at

large will be deleting for us wow uh Pokemon is gone yeah i was going to say Pokemon is going to be in there eventually because I know it's up there. Pokemon is off the list. Okay. Strong performance by everyone. The public at large. Can I just, can I, can I pump us up for a little bit? I think we all did a very good job of assessing both our strengths and our shortcomings as we move forward.

I think we're all, I think we're all in a very, like, honest place with ourselves. And I just appreciate the accountability. Yeah. That's being shared among this fellowship here. Good job, crew. Yeah. The public at large coming in strong with Tetris Call of Duty and Pokemon. the complete human brain right there I said the three genders a minute ago but that might

actually be it I mean how many games do you get with the Pokemon series you get a lot of games a lot the so the wiki breaks down you don't get play it puzzle park snap or stadiums a big loss but still with the Pokemon series I mean each one of them is two games and I don't even know how many of that is 10 20 right so yeah just the Pokemon series alone that's that's a shitload of game even though it's the same thing over and over. All right, so the mystery round, and I want to emphasize I did not plan ahead for this.

I tried to sort of compartmentalize. The mystery round is going to be you can only select games that are listed on the sheet. Let's start with the letters Q, W, X, or Z. No! Q, W, X, Y, or Z. And the, we're going to add a stipulation here. The public at large, the games, they will be

moving. There will be more than one. It will be worms. W.W.E. WWF. and the Witcher series. Oh, damn. They took Witcher. Okay. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, devastated y'all. I, I, my favorite, my favorite game is gone. Holly, what was it? What, what, what, what, what are you? Oh, you want, you guys, this is why I was insisting that Cerber's pick was not lame. My, like, all-time favorite childhood game is Bubsy the bobcat. Wow. Specifically, Bubzy the Bobcat. Bobcat 2, where he takes his niece and nephew to a museum, and they have to fight their way through, like, a haunted art museum. Okay?

Bubsy was like a knockoff Sonic game, if you've never played it. And I really wish they would put it on Switch Online, because I have been toting a... I've been trying to figure out how to hook a Sega Genesis 3 up to successive series of flat-screen televisions for, like, 20 years, so I can play this game. Because this is one of those where, like, this is just like my... my brain needs to turn off while I think about a story or something and I go straight to this game there are there are a couple of updates that they made later on that were kind of lame but I really only like the first two games and I knew no one would grab it in a million years but the alphabet the alphabet has done me wrong so what are what are our Q Q W X Y Z um I nothing on my original board with any of those wow I will buy all time I will now for the first time this honors to I didn't plan ahead. I will for the first time look at which games are contained in there.

In Q, we have Kubert. Kix, Quicks, Quake, Strong. And Quest for Glory. W, looking at it now. Where's W. You get Wario. Wait, whose turn is it? It's mine.

You, you're getting Ultima, uncharted, unravel, unreal, and Old Rydium. V, there's lots of games. W, there's a long list. Yeah. Warhammer, Wario. Oh, man, Zoo Tycoon is available. Mm-hmm.

Wave race. The cruelest game to play on an island. X you're getting, okay, I see my choice. I'm taking X-Com. Shout out to Jake Solomon, go sooner. Yakuza's still on the board, which really surprises me, Spencer. Why, you got Yakuza, Yoshi, you don't know Jack if you want to play trivia against yourself. Z, you got Zoo Tycoon.

I'll recommend. We'll put on for Zoo Tycoon. Imagine if the only person you had to talk to was the You Don't Know Jack? So can we just, can we just grab one here? Because it's, I believe it's my call. Yeah, you're up next. Oh, I'm taking the Yakuza series. Of course, you're.

The Yakuza series is hilarious. There are approximately 3,000 of them, and all of them are side-splitting, pointless, and very violent. So I'm going to do that because I can actually sit there. This is actually, I get a little bit of the rock band experience because there are multiple karaoke mini-games across the franchise. So I'll be sitting Dame Dine to myself on a beach, Yakuza. I'm sorry. I don't know any of these games.

I'm trying to figure out. Wave race. Wave race is your choice. I forget whether I have official included UNV or not, so I don't know. I'm going to take wrecking crew now that I see it's a Mario game. Recking crew?

Yeah, I never heard of this, but it says it's a Mario. game okay wait are you and v included because if so that opens virtua tennis back up for ryan does yeah i think i i think i mentioned it the second time so let's go ahead and throw it in ricking crew looks like this was a 1984 arcade game uh starring mario and luigi wow server has found a mario game just found that found that shit amongst some coconuts amongst the rubble um it's right there man

it's right there is tempting wave race none of the cute games are at all tempting I'm actually going to take uncharted strong that's a good call

yeah strong call perfectly perfectly entertaining doesn't really I don't really have anything that so that really fits in with that so and it's like what five games or so yeah

I feel fine with that you got a lot of music here and you got a shitload of story between Zelda Halo and Uncharted? Yep. Yeah, you're going to be busy, man. Holy shit.

This wrecking crew game, it says Mario or Luigi attempt to destroy all of a certain set of objects with a large hammer. This is a Gallagher video game. We've come back all the way around. It comes right back around there.

Ricking crew NES watermelon. Let's see. Okay. Is it me? I think so. Yes. Holly, you have the final selection. Um, with the just learned knowledge that this random tabletop RPG that I played as a hot weather goth is now being resurrected as a video game, I am also going to look ahead into the future and play something that I have never played as a video game before, uh, and take Vampire the Masquerade.

Ooh. Good call. Boom. There are. There are allegedly, uh, so this was a tabletop game. that was popular amongst my middle school and they they have put out three four games since oh this feels like a sign y'all they have put out four games since 2019 the next one releases day after tomorrow tomorrow if you're listening to this episode the day it drops and it's called parliament of knives that feels like it's meant to be it was you it was The Parliament of Knives was you all along. Hell yes.

I love knives. The French you made along the way were knives. This is great. I'm Holly, Prime Minister of Knives.