Shutdown Fullcast - Digesting the 2019 National Championship

Episode Date: January 17, 2020

Is Odell Beckham Jr. a robot who spits out currency compulsively? Which Olympian was Spencer completely dismissive towards? Why is every Boston College coach's name "[First Name] Boston" and do you care that we just made that up on our own? Is Robocop real and how did he get to New Orleans? Can God make Ed Orgeron so strong that even He can't pin Coach O? Early in this episode, Spencer mentions the memorial fund for Ed Aschoff. If you're interested in donating but don't want to rewind to listen to him read the address, here you go: Donations to the Edward Aschoff Memorial Fund at UF’s College of Journalism and Communications can be made out to the “U.F. Foundation”, sent to P.O. Box 14425, Gainesville, FL 32604, Attn: Gift Processing. Please note "Edward Aschoff Memorial Fund" in the memo area. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown fullcast. It's a little bit of a story time here to start, and this is an unconventional start. But then again, you are listening to the only college football podcast. You have no other choice. There's a story I want to tell, and it starts on December 8, 2018, immediately after Atlanta United's championship, the major one in Atlanta's history. Can't think of any other team in Atlanta that's ever won anything. Certainly not one team from Athens winning anything in Atlanta of any significant note.

I'm saying that for a reason because I was facing about 80 feet of straight water out of a Marda station, and somebody next to me said they didn't want to mess up their shoes. So I let this extremely vain person jump on my back so they wouldn't mess their shoes. And I took off at my waterproof boots with this dude behind me, graciously thank you me for carrying him through the water, which anyone would have done because the person I was carrying was Ed Ashoff, the reporter, TV personality, overall Mench and Outstanding Gator, who passed away recently due to complications from pneumonia and non-Hodgkins lymphoma. If you would like to pay tribute to the memory of Edward, and I

suggest that you do, donations can be made to the Edward Ashton. Memorial Fund at UF's College of Journalism and Communications. You can go ahead and just make out that check to UF Foundation. Send it to P.O. Box 14425, Gainesville, Florida, 32604. Make that attention gift processing. And in the memo area, go ahead and mention Edward Ashoff Memorial Fund because I would like to carry Ed's memory forward because, you know, even though I carried him once,

he was like having more extra sunshine in the room it was uh it was better when he was around well going to have to shine a little bit brighter now that he's not so what did he say to you when he was on your back in that puddle you're so nice thank you so much man this is the nicest like he's just thinking me the whole time as of carrying him he's like directly into your ear yeah in my ear like in my ear being like oh man this is so nice like as if one i was doing him a favor and two um he would like to be this way all the time right that I should carry him around like some kind of enormous Star Wars beast. Or Godzilla.

Oh my God, it was as close as he got to write in Godzilla. Your blogzilla. Blogzilla. Now with that note out of the way, and thank you for the forbearance there, we have a championship game to discuss, do we not? And what was the most important thing that happened at that championship game?

Spencer met Alvin Camara. I mean, that was pretty important, but it's not the most important thing that happened. Spencer ate 36 oysters. That is also true. That is also true. Did I watch Alvin Camara do a shot with the people in the booth next to us at the Tweet Suite Suite? Yes, I did.

Did he stand up on a table to lean over and do that shot? Yes, yes, he did. Did he appear to have any ill effects whatsoever from that? None. Alvin Camaro is awesome. Did they have oysters in the Tweet suite? They did not. They didn't have Wi-Fi in the Tweet suite.

No Wi-Fi, no oysters. It's just not my environment. It lasted a whole game between those two hardships. Somehow I endured. I prevailed. Much like LSU. Despite being down 177, managed to, I don't know, come back and score. I'm going to say 70 uninterrupted points.

Roughly. I think we're still totaling the final numbers. It'll take some. It's like election night where we have to, the provisional touchdowns. We're waiting on the results from the fourth quarter to come in. We can go here and call this election for the Tigers. Every game in New Orleans got seven quarters, first, second, lunch, French, third, fifth, and no.

Supper. Ham. Let the record note, of course, that Coach O did celebrate national title with. Nighthame. Nightham. He did. Is the original? Is he the dean of Nightingham University?

If he wants to be. Fat back time. Caution de Nui. But speaking of Alvin Kamara, there were other professional athletes in the Superdome on that who also did memorable things, such as O'Dell Beckham Jr. punched a cop's poor sick ass as the cop was trying to reign on parades almost as literally as possible.

I would like to go ahead. Whapped him right in his delicate fancy ass. I see this. Sorry, this is O'Dell Baines Johnson, and he is my president. I'm going to go ahead and put him in that territory because he to me has a sick. horror movie poster that's like in all caps like, O'Dell Beckham Jr. punch me in the ass!

Exclamation point, exclamation point. I think the important thing is that we learned O'Dell Beckham Jr. would be a terrible hostage negotiator because he took a tense situation and arguably provided no relief whatsoever. They would make a great action hero. Yes, 100%. But if you are ever in a bank that gets held up and he is the hostage negotiator,

he'll just yeah you're dead just he so there's a difference between de-escalating the situation and different differently escalating it well creating an entirely different situation muscle confusion right i think he watched lethal weapon too many times where you mel gibson handcuffs himself to the guy who's going to jump and he's like now you're going to kill his body i'm crazy i'm crazy like whatever the cop's plan was it was out the window he needed a new one because he'd just been punched in the ass by odel beckham jr we we say punch Of course, it was a good game SWAT, but the cop, of course, has chosen to interpret it as if it was a punch.

I suppose that's up to him. He should know the only thing O'Dell Beckham Jr. trashes are kickoff nets, right? Like those practice nets. That's it. He's not going to hurt a cop. Now, I want to rewind a little bit, though, because O'Dell Beckham Jr. doesn't get there without a couple of things happening. The Browns miss the playoffs.

Is that the word for what they did? Yeah. You may miss as though they were. at the playoffs. Fair? Yeah. I mean, what are the fucking odds

that the Browns missing the playoffs? I know, I know. What a perfect storm here. So we say that it is very funny to remember that this is also the year where Browns fans were like, oh, we're going to make the playoffs. Oh, not just Browns fans.

They were favored to win their division. Where the same rational world said, the Browns are going to make the playoffs. Sure. So whatever you have hope for the future of this country, just remember that even we in 2019 came together and said, I think the Browns are going to make the playoffs. how did we go to the moon

on accident that's right then how do we know it's haunted buzz altering tushay okay and we're back okay so when we pick up on John Glenn

yes as he's like punching Neil Armstrong in the ass I said I like that I'm like a few things to set this up we're like 1963 it goes way back can I tell you what I'd really like to see now which is for OBJ to insist that we take this to trial.

In New Orleans? And have the fluffy marshmallow-ass little police officer get up there in the stand and talk about how mean old O.B.J. told him he had a good game. And so he issued an arrest warrant. Judges issue warrants. Don't at me. And so he obtained a warrant for O.B.J.'s arrest because he was literally butt hurt. He crippled my poor butt cheek. Oh, my God. I've been able to do anything cheek-related since.

Nothing. Can you show the jury, the knee brace on your butt cheek that OBJ forced you to wear? My ass cheek is in traction. Oh, my cruel, sick butt pain. It's just, I think O'Dell was surprised to see such questionable officiating in the Superdome. So, I can't ever recall that being an issue. You know, this is weird. You said that he was on the Browns and he missed the playoffs.

Are you saying that O'Dell Beckham was on a team that didn't fulfill its talent? I am saying that the cop in question who was mad that various LSU fans were smoking cigars It's not like the it's not like the Saints needed the locker room You know it's there was time to mitigate whatever odor Problem would have resulted he also hasn't seen victory cigars in that This is hey what are those evil torches I do understand he might not be familiar with the practice

Do we think did one of you have a baby? I'm gonna I'm gonna go back Real quick. Jason, you have one thing to add. I was going to say, is it possible OBJ confused this poor ref with a PAC 12 or cop with a PAC 12 rep? It's entirely possible, yeah. Because those people deserve to be punched in the ass. Yeah, they were awful. They were delightfully. They lived up to the standard. They really did.

But you know what? They lived diagonal to the stand. They held, I appreciated their sense of restraint in like waiting to be ass. I came here to do crimes and punch asses. and I'm too happy to do crime. There's a lot of asses. There's so many asses. New Orleans is an ass-first town, really.

That's how you're supposed to get off the plane. They can get off ass first. It's kind of how you live there. Face down, ass up. That's the way I like to punch. Yeah. Before the game, O'Dell was already quite festive because, I don't know,

you play an entire season for the Browns. I mean, he's always been, nothing about O'Dell Beck of Jr. has ever been, like, subtle. No, it wasn't to suggest that O'Dell Beckham wasn't going to, in his spare time, just chill. Right. That hasn't, or how's this? A very, very active definition of chilling.

Do you think every, like, questionable thing, if you went back and found everybody's Instagram and were like, boy, I made a bit, I drank way too much there. Is O'Dell Beckham present at all of the, like, bad decision weirdness around New Orleans? Because between. Are you saying he's like a haunted gump? Yes. He's like some kind of trickster god. Because between the $100 handshakes and because originally, you have to remember, we knew the cop had tried to, had threatened LSU players with arrest.

We didn't know he was part, O'Dell Beckham Jr. was part of that at all. And now he is. So is he present like some sort of hate at every bad New Orleans decision? The hate tainting. Yeah, kind of like, he's like the Joan of Arc of Bad Decision. Right. Oh, I've got the New York Post line. Tain and Saint's Haunt.

Wow. The, so O'Dell is already, I think, quite festive when the game starts and very relaxed. And then throughout the game, he becomes increasingly less relaxed and more festive. And then I believe he tried to enter the band section, which not the first time O'Dell's done that. Remember, he did that in Tiger Stadium and attempted to get to pay the band's fine for neck. There are no fines for playing neck. asked them not to do it, and O'Dell was basically offering to pay the ban. So

O'Dell Beckham shows up with cash demanding that people do things or just starts handing out. Not the first time this has happened, not even close to the first appearance of cash belching O'Dell Beckham, right? The second thing. Where you and I expelled carbon dioxide.

Yeah. O'Dell Beckon Jr. must rid himself of cash so that his lungs can function. He burps, seriously, he just burps coins like Barney in that episode of the Simpsons where they open a casino. He's our nation's greatest renewable resource for Sonic Rings. Right. So he's already, I think, gotten into

several things during the game that he probably should not have been. This is where I think O'Dell needs a... He needs a get-back coach in real life, right? He needs somebody who's like, no, buddy, get over here. Who's like, don't hand this player a hundred dollars with a television camera. Is that? Yeah, I didn't see that. Could we... By our own Joe Burrow, those boys were no longer professional athletes. That's true. Well, that's the whole life.

So if OBJ had a real-life get-back coach, do you think Jarvis Landry would be the most entertaining candidate for that job? Reader, I do. Because I think of all the photos of one of them running for a touchdown and the other one celebrating in the background. Yeah. That's no, that's Jarvis. That's literally the job. Yeah. Yeah.

So this is Odell Beckham punching someone in the ass and Jarvis Landry running behind him like, yeah. Well, I think, I think awesome. two pieces of feedback first of all I love the energy one yeah great swing second let's go over here yeah let's keep it moving let's keep it moving don't stop keep it moving let's evacuate the premises and I think at that point

he also should have been like just punch all the asses then it's like a fun group thing so that's what when they do take this to trial in New Orleans I do want to see the jury having to parse the footage like no I hear clearly he said good game so this is how you I would say, this is how you say, you say, hello in Cleveland.

You punch somebody in the ass. That's the best thing that happened to them all day. It's just how we do things in a gritty Midwestern way. Bam! Well, I clock in for 17 hours at the ass punching factory. Hey, do what you love.

Which is weirdly what they call the grocery store. That's how the pioneers tame the Cuyahoga. When I swim down fire, River like in the ass factory. Yeah, that's how John

Glenn got to space. He looked at space and said, bam, right in the starfish between the cheeks. What is the moon but a big ass? And what is a rocket but a way to punch it? Wow. Good game, Moon. Smack time. So, O'Dell Beckham

got to the locker. They were already smoking cigars because they were celebrating and you're not supposed to do that indoors because much to my surprised Louisiana is a clean indoor air it is a clean indoor not clean outdoor air right they gotta have some place to go to get clean air and it's not

outside yeah indoors where they quarantine that shit yeah yeah you keep the good air inside outdoors that's for smoking I mean ham just put up ham next to the factory smoked ham on every street corner ham cigars can think about it

cigars hold with ham why do you think they call them little smokies or maybe the cigar is is a smoker and within it is a bite of ham. A tiny ham. It's like a Tutsi roll pop. Yeah. You get to the porky sand. How many smokes it take to get to the ham? Say it out, about two

carcinogens? Three carcinogens? One good You got a mouth full of ham. You give me the red meat, the red meat, the nitrates, and the nicotine. Oh, yeah, share it bring it on. Are some bourbon? Oh, yeah. Mm. Are there ham-flavored, are there ham-flavored vape cartridges? There will be.

Hang on, let's find out. Okay, thank you. There will be, after we just mentioned them, we have just made them real. So, O'Dell Beckham comes in, everybody smoking cigars, and this one cop comes in, and, man. Okay, I just Googled...

Oh, dear. I just Googled savory vape flavors. Oh, no. No. Okay, I found a lot of the I thought. Is this like the gross jelly bellies? Worse. Cattle and prosciutto?

Ooh. Crispy bacon. Is cantilip and prosciutto one? All right. So to be clear, of the two you've named, both are pork. Yes. Both are ham. The third one I see is called Flaming Rabbit Ass.

Punch it. Okay. And one, pretzel. That's the Philly option. I think cantaloupe bothers me the most. Pretzel. Pretzel is the stupidest one because the others are like flavors. Pretzels.

What the fuck would you bother to think? A pretzel is just a salt and butter delivery. That's no flavor. Pretzel is for like an 11-year-old vapor. I'm picturing the vape, like you dip the mouth into the vape pin and mustard. Oh my God. I love going to a Phillies game and vaping a pretzel.

Just smoking up a pretzel. A big old fucking honking pretzel. You ever wanted to put pretzel in your lung? I love having a skull full of pretzels vape. Asper. I'm creating pretzel salt, but now I'm picturing Oh, my God. Inside pretzel vendors, like, pulling the big...

Sir, you know you can't do that. Hey, I don't know what you talk. So, yeah, you make a pretzel, like, it's like one of the disgusting Philly pretzel vendors are, like, fart in a puffing. I'm going to get one of those things. You put on your nightstand that, like, just puffs clouds of pretzel smoke all night long.

You're just letting the birds smoke these pretzels. It's also the give-up level. The birds are very sick. Yeah. The give-up level from prosciutto and cantaloupe to the second one was, what? Some other. Flaming rabbit ass. There was one before that.

Oh, crispy bacon. Flaming rabbit ass. You're like, okay, good. You're good. There are no bad ideas. Pretzel. It's like having a Triscuit-flavored bacon. I'm not going to name the vendor because I find it upsetting, but this was the first Google result for savory baked.

I still think cantaloupe is the worst because that's a terrible fruit. No. An Italian treat. flavorful prosciutto wrapped in mouthwatering cantaloupe no do you know

what an Italian vape treat would be a cigarette many cigarettes that's what an Italian vape treat

would be a speed boat full of stolen mafia cigarettes and my wife Francesca at the risk of upsetting us all

even more I want to see what flaming rabbit ass is supposed to taste like I'm afraid you're going to get

an answer wrap I, too, I'm afraid. A little pretzel. I just want to know what the cop was thinking. Like, because there's like 60 dudes. He said, ow, my weary ass. Cop brain.

Cop brain is cop brain, man. You can't turn. It's like Robocop. Robocop, if he had been. How would RoCup, Robocop. If Robocop had been in the LSU locker room, he would have said, you can't smoke in here. You have 10 seconds to come.

Like, he wouldn't have, he would have had no context to say like, well, they're having fun and they're just, you know, kids and they don't get paid not a big deal like as long as as long as we're not destroying anything i'll let it slide robo cop doesn't let shit slide so i guess what i'm saying is robocop is real and he lives in new orleans if you punch robocop in the ass you're losing that battle oh too yeah are you saying a are you saying are you saying it would be surprising to learn that a brown's player badly injured himself in the off season no no that that that's pretty common If you had just taken out O'Dell, like if the cop would just come in, you know, the response...

What do you mean by taking out? No, I don't mean walk in there and kill him. Because I was worried. Escorting him outside? Yeah. Everybody would have gotten that because I think if you've gone, Mr. Beckham Jr. is a bit out of pocket. Right.

Everybody would have gone, oh, yeah, yeah. He's been that way for hours. Just go ahead and slide him on out. But instead, you walk in there and there's 50 guys who could stomp you out and turn this into a boot party instantly that you would not recover from and nobody would. You know who Osirond's friends with?

The governor. He had the governor of Joe Burrow in that room. Cop brain. And this cop walks in like, Nobody smoking cigars and him. Robocop. I do like the idea of Cajon Robocop. I'm Cajon Robo.

R. E-A-U-X. B-E-A-U-X Rob-B-Robocop Rob-Borocop Why does Roe-Burro cop Have a little cash slot That you can put in That ain't know your business

Roeboro cop a little rusty You know what Maybe you, I am interested in many things, citizen How about you made me interested in something I'm putting 20 right here To put 20 into Roeboro Cop I'm trying to feed all the little Roeboro Cop

On the top salary Robboro Cop accepts credit cards Yeah, yeah. The discount slot for cousins over here is right here. That's another $10. Yeah, you got the one with the chip. Just leave it until I beat. Rubiro cop has a little rotisserie on one arm, deep fryer in his back. He has a dacry machine built in. No attention spanned. McDonald's ice cream machine that never works. That's broken. That'd be fine.

this website has 28 different vape flavors that are oatmeal no no do they have one I mean how many different kind of flavors what is it like canelope oatmeal pretzel oatmeal oatmeal oatmeal is that double

oatmeal stew flavors are we missing your favorite oatmeal vape probably probably fucking not all right give me the most disconcerting oatmeal and menthol it does appear as though you can combine

oatmeal e juice with a bunch of other flavors and the choices are like you know strawberry oatmeal um okay here we go cigarette oatmeal yes

menthol oatmeal yes that's like how you come welcome to Randy boss's bed and breakfast like that's how a witch would create an uncle I've always wanted to combine dip and oatmeal I was like

mango oatmeal that's weird and I scrolled down this is extreme these are the things you do in Breath of the Wild and they're like here's your pixelated food

you got dubious you got purple mush this is dubious food this is the breath of the wild right here literally Breath of the Wild Absinth oatmeal

oh hell yeah yeah it's gonna be seeing little green demons yeah we're gonna see fucking Eldridge horrors. Yeah, nice. But I'll poop a little better too.

Yeah, it's amazing. My blood sugar is so steady. The cosmic fiber of beyond. It cannot be described. Is this the state food of Virginia? It's the oatmeal that'll punch you in the ass. Oh, my God. From the inside.

From the inside. Oh, the perfect crime. I'm just picturing the Quaker oatmeal guy with like a real shitty thin mustache. And he's clearly not looking at you, the person who's considering the package, he's looking beyond. Yeah, no, he's seeing things. He's seeing some fucked up shit right behind him. Yeah, so I don't, I don't really know what this cop was thinking. I don't know what he was doing.

Cornbread bait. I think what this cop is thinking is like, cop, cop, cop, cop, cop, cop, cop. Right, right. It's robo cop. Yeah. Robo cop. And of all the states roll up like that and be like, authority! Mm-hmm.

This is, this is. this is the latest of several factors that makes me suspect although I have not looking at this that this cop is not of Louisiana extraction himself well I think by the way New Orleans PD has already come out and been like mm that was not one of ours no PD wait it was just like a stray cop he's like a mall cop I think it was like state I don't know I'm just making shit up I think Godfrey said earlier today it's state there's like a state authority Godfrey is an NFL podcaster

right right so it was one of these guys I just like that New Orleans PD was like, we cover things where things are involved bullets, knives, fire, or punching. Not butts. Yeah, not butts. The punching of a butt is not the purview of the NOPD

or the NOPD would not interfere with the lawful business of the LSU Tigers football program. They would be like, that's a football crime and we are not related to that. That's what it really is. If any state or city organization in Louisiana, they're going to know like LSU Tigers, that's above our

pray grade. No, no. I'm afraid that FBI, CIA, LSU. That's out of our jurisdiction. I believe that's between the Lord and Ed Ogeron. John Bell Edwards got to ask permission for him to park. Ed O'Juron got the Lord and headlock

again. Let him up. They're trying to do that. Turn him loose. Turn him loose. You proved your point. Could God make a coach so strong that he could not outrassal only one way

to find out so there we was at the end of the sixth date on an I quit match and God looked up

in me and said I quit and that's why on the seventh day I said let's go to Popeye because they

opened who knew that the chicken joint you found it who knew that the face of mercy

would be a ham sandwich Um, is there anything else? Ham of God, you wash away You wash away everything in my tongue to Like, we're not even making that up at Osirot celebrated with a ham sandwich Oh, also he wrestled God and pinned him

And he wrestled God and pinned him Oh yeah, he pinned God Hey, I can't wrestle God's a dad That's the day I go coached you Lafayette, raise occasions I ain't worthy of the Louisiana State university. They say to embrace salvation. Well, I

literally did. If I can't take God, I'll go courts. Arkansas. There were other things I did see at this game, by the way, that were completely worth it. I was in a suite full of people, including the dude perfect guys. Remember the guys from the trick shots? They're all named Cody, and they're all

from north of Dallas. And man, life is better for them than it is for anyone else. It really is. Cody with an H somehow. Cody with an I. No, like, K-H-H. Cody. So it looks like every possible permutation of codes. There's like one of them is Sumerian.

They're really nice and everything you tell them is crazy. Right? If you're like, yeah, man, that was a turnover. They're like, that's crazy. That's amazing. That's sick. A turnover is kind of a trick shot. They are perfect dudes.

Yeah, they are in fact brand on perfect dudes. Joe Burroughs throwing some trick shots. All year, man. And you know what they are? Sick. Yeah. Those are sick. I also met Lola.

Jones and I want to tell this story because I didn't know it was Lolo Jones and I asked her what she... She's going to yell at you online. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. That's good pub for us. This makes me look bad because I met her. I don't think it does. And they said and I say, oh hey, what do you do for a living? Because I didn't recognize

her. And she goes, oh, I'm an Olympic athlete. And the first, what would you say if somebody's like, oh, I'm an Olympic athlete? I would say something like, cool, what's for? Yeah, you say cool, what's for? Right. You'd say an and yes. know what I said? Oh, that's nice. Interesting. That's nice. You just leave it at that.

Like what you say to somebody, when they tell you a job, you have absolutely no input for. I'm an accountant. Sure. Yep. Oh, that's nice. What sport? That's what I said. LSU football.

Also, Drew Brees was right next to me, and I missed him because I was looking at the death chart. You missed him. He was one of your receivers. Wow. Well, I think you didn't see him. because you're only looking at active football teams. Ah, correct. That's true.

I really, we should have said that to him in the booth. I bet it would have gone well. Hey, why are you up here and not down there, Drew? You're not good enough to replace Joe Burrow? Got no eligibility left? There's the funny thing. I'm not sure he is. You know, he did, he was, he's produced second best quarterback of all time.

It's like Gary Danielson. Drew Breeze. That's, okay, sure. It's Kyle Orton. Oh, I'm sorry. Fuck, like... I forgot the inspector. I actually got a little mad there.

You did. You were genuinely tipped. I forgot Kyle Orton. Never forget Kyle Orton. Is there anybody who has like a booty hunter shirt in the NFL for sure more than Kyle Orton? Oh, he might have a tattoo. Well, Odell Beckham. Yeah, that's fair.

After that game, yes. Absolutely. And yeah, I did meet Alvin Camara, who when he was wondering with Pac-12. I had one thing to add to Alvin Camara's life. which was, where are these officials from? Oh, they're from the Pact 12. Oh, how's that? Oh, it's bad.

The Pact 12, it's bad. I would love it if this was the first awareness of ever had to have about the Pact 12. Like, he kind of never heard of it because, like, why would he have it? Yeah, do they play football? Oh, damn. Is that like the CFL? That's amazing. Yeah, so that was my experience.

Is there anything from the TV broadcast that, like, stuck out to you? Because, you know, you don't get, like, you go to the game, and that's cool and that's great. But you don't actually have the experience that most people touching the game do because most of them watching a TV. I think Holly and I both watched mostly the film room, Ryan. I was watching with Godfrey and Bud and Richard in a bar, so we did not have the ability to sort of jump around. I am, I kind of want to go back and watch Refcast. Yeah, RefGast. Because I'm fascinated as to what they could.

It looked like a fucking game show. I realized if we're going to have a camera on each ref. They did? Yeah. And they did this. for the entire game and I don't understand that at all. And there was a panel of refs just sitting there.

Just talking about... I think it's sort of a contingency cover kind of thing if you have the Pac-12 on your biggest TV show of the year. You kind of got to have like, okay, listen, we do know the rules. Right. The trick is the guys who are on the main broadcast, they don't know the rules.

This is an undercover boss situation. I was thinking it was more like a, more like a I survived bad plastic surgery story. Like, plastics are true nightmares, right? Batched. Yeah. This is botched, the channel, but for officiating.

Yeah, that's what I would like to go back and rewatch is that broadcast. The coach's film room was good, not the best, because there was no Paul Johnson, there was no less miles. It did have two coaches who don't like each other. There was no Mac Brown, which was nice. The Gundy Patterson dynamic was very interesting. The Gundy was like, from the get-go, he was the journalist in the room. which I'm sure he would love to be describing it. He was good at it.

He was shot. He does look like a 70s, like, TV weatherman. Sure. That was probably... But on camera, right? Like, if you saw the 70s... If you saw your local weatherman... I don't know if you've ever seen, like, your local weatherman.

Exactly. And you're like, Dean Winthrop looks like 20 years older off camera. That's what Mike Gundy looks like on camera now, right? Right, right. That's probably like a 70s weatherman is probably the last journalist Mike Gundy ever respected. Yeah. That was the peak of information right there. Oh, Flip McDowell out of Tulsa, that man.

He could read a tornado. So he sort of, from the get-go, he was playing, you know, moderator, setting people up. He's very good at it. He's a quarterback. He was a quarterback. What was his job as a quarterback? Hand the ball to Barry Sanders. That's right.

In this case, Barry Sanders. Is Gary Patterson? Generating volume was Gary Patton. He was fucking fired up for this game, man. And, like, you know, one of the smartest football men of all time had a lot to say. I saw this on Twitter, but apparently at one point in the broadcast, Gary Patterson says, hey, can you run that back? He says that to Mike Gundy, as if they're watching film.

And Mike Gundy's like, I don't have the control. So I think what they do is, what are you talking about? I think they have Lugan Bill right off camera because someone was running the clip. And there were some really good moments where, like, there was a field goal team run on, runoff, the Clemson guy falls over the top of the screen. Gundy sees it. And he's like, no, no, no, no, let's go back and watch that. So they watched that.

They missed the field goal because they're watching this guy falling over on the side. Relatable. There were some good wacky moments like that. There was, Derek Mason was there. It didn't say a whole ton, but, you know, obviously that was good. And then, of course, there was Boston College coach, Boston Jeff. What's his last time? Who wasn't that?

It's Jeff Boston. Sorry, I got his name back. This had several opinions. This is a thing we should do with every BC coach, both past and future. You must earn your name. Whatever your name is. Two-thirds of me. them in my memory have been named

Jeff. Right, but you become Jeff Boston. Like, I don't care who you were coming in. It's like Razol Gould. Yes, correct. I think I like the Boston first. Yeah. Boston Jeff? What if it's Boston? Packing Boston What if it's, quote, Boston, Jeff Boston. What if it's

Boston Jeff Boston? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That sounds like, don't call Steve Boston. No, it becomes an honorific, like Ben Thunderbirds Kingsley. So, like, eventually you have to lose the Boston. You smash two ice coffees

together. It's a reminder that Big Kink's it's fucking wicked cold. The Massachusetts

Rattlesnake he's running wild. Fact time. He's riding a facking Dunkin' Donuts coffee truck

down to the ring. What are the worst beverages to do that with? The worst beverages to do

it with two. Milkshake. Milk's very bad. Creams. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, wait.

Yerba Mote. Maybe like cantalopementhal vape juice. Yeah. I was thinking just flaming hot coffee. That's pretty bad. That's quite bad. I don't know.

She had glass carafs of coffee from those like that. I don't know. That would be pretty fucking bad ass. The heat and the shatter? But like if you do that at the start of the match, who the fuck is going to wrestle? The guy bleeding and scalded. The caffeine's in my veins now. I'm so high.

He's going to ruse on me. He's bleeding coffee all over the ring. Debate me, you coward. Nobody's going to come near that guy. Change my mind. Blood's not real. Change my mind. Fine.

The belt is yours, sir. There's old. You want it far more than I do. There's old sodium and tap water haul. Here he comes. All right. So Boston, Jeff Boston. Yes.

What about it? Facking Jeff Boston. He was all right. He had a lot of things to say. Yeah. It was, there were wildly varying energy levels in the room. Okay. Well, he stuck Derek Mason back.

behind Gary. How's he supposed to get a worded? I think that was mostly to like to remind people that Derek Mason didn't get fired. I think that's why they had him on the coach's room would just be like yeah that's right. Hey folks still here. Is this Derek? I want to catch this carefully because this is still my favorite sports television experience of the year, bar none. But this was I felt the weakest combination of personalities we had so far. In particular, I like it a lot better when there is like a dean in the room when there's like a Paul Johnson right cutcliffe an elder statesman that can get the 50 something coaches to shut the fuck up for a second no what they need and this

my proposal for the coaches room they need to just make it like the exes room where there are coaches but there's also ex players because ex players particularly at the college level you'll get guys who've never got NFL media training who'll just slide in there and be like that guy's trash and you'll and then you'll have one of the coaches go oh my I I I it's See, when you said X's, I thought you meant X, like former coaches of the teams in the game, so it'd be like, here's Les Miles and Tommy Bouten. We were going to do that.

Well, bring the same energy to it like, oh, that guy ain't shit. Yeah. I tweeted this out, but my proposal would be take the highest profile Power 5 job that's available, take the candidates for that job, put them in the room, confiscate their phones, and make them do the whole game wondering,

like if they are missing a call. What if we realized we should do a podcast where we just rank other Vox podcasts that aren't us. Wow. Could we do the coaches going for the open job thing, but the AD is in the room? And he's going to listen to how well they break down this game.

He says nothing. He just writes quietly. And he just makes a lot of... Wow. So it's sort of like a final exam for... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that idea. It's like a broken pool stick.

I love that idea. The loser has to coach UMass. It's sort of, it's like the, it's like in the men in black when they're like, okay, here's the shooting course. Yeah. And Will Smith is the new head coach of Baylor, which actually would be a really good choice. I shot the little girl with her school books, and that's how I began. And that's how I got the Baylor job.

Yeah. That is what you actually have to do to become the coach at Baylor. Damn. Shoot the hostage. That's a different movie. Spencer, did anything else good happen at the Twitter thing? No, that's it. That's like literally all of it.

I got sprayed with champagne by Alvin Camara. That's not a lie. Can we talk about the meal you had? I know you had a lot of oysters. You talked about that on Twitter as well. I did. I did. I had 36.

The next day, you were going to the airport to fly home. Yes. What was the meal you had before getting on an airplane? I went to Pesh on magazine. It was delightful. and I had all of the following. I had a full bowl of gumbo. Okay.

Not a cup, a bowl. I had an order of their fish sticks. It's like five heavily breaded, like, gourmet, fancified fish sticks with tartar sauce. I had a serving of broiled drum in a mushroom reduction sauce with sweet potato fritters, which was not unsubstantial. Normally when you go, oh, I'm going to this fancy fish restaurant. They're going to give me a postcarder fish. Oh, contrary. It's a solid wopperin of a fish.

A woparin is a tremendous amount of food. Yeah, yeah. As a unit. I had two glasses of champagne because why not? It's New Orleans. I was going to have one. And then they asked me if I wanted to have another. Right.

The answer is yes. And then I had two cups of coffee and an enormous slice of key lime pie. Have you read the very hungry caterpillar? Yes. Okay, that's all I wanted. And then I went, I got onto a plane. Yeah. And I got onto a plane for two hours.

A very hungry gaito. And when you emerged, you were a beautiful butterfly. No, it's just a fat ass. Just a beautiful fat ass getting off the plane. That was all I could be at that moment. That would be the best is a movie about like, man, this guy's going to do something. He's going to really like make something of himself. And he goes into like the metaphorical cocoon and he comes out.

And it's the same guy. So, so you're Captain America, except he just gets out. He's like, yep, still me. Still me? Sorry. Just Steve Rogers. He's just, boy, it's warm in there. Yeah.

Just steamed to Rogers. Full training montage. Step into the rain. Actually, he kind of loses some water weight. It smells like pretzel vaping in there, guys. Oh, hey, give me some of that. He just sweats off a couple pounds. Oh, shit, he's smaller.

Yeah. That's it. The very hungry caterpillar. just comes out big old fatter caterpillar that's the whole thing it's all about acceptance and self yeah I don't uh huh yep I don't see why not

I think it's mostly a counting in color book but yeah I didn't eat again for like a day do you don't think the very hundred caliber caterpillar is a themes and life lessons to it um you should eat as much as possible perseverance yeah no matter how fool you are you know yeah you gotta keep eating through that leaf

finish a fucking plate yeah you get one god to wrestle, you wrestle the next one. You just keep going. Take down the whole fucking Shiva, I'm calling you out. Yeah, you take down the whole thing. I'll see you in SummerSlam. You got how many arms?

Oh, I got it. Man, I thought you said Shilab, and I was like, Shilab at SummerSlam. That's basically it for the, like, the I ate 36 oysters. I probably could have eaten more, but frankly, they were pretty slow with the Shuckin. Wow, so you caught up and then you're just like, nope, I've...

I had to go. I had to go. I could have gotten like another... The John Henry of Oysters. None. Not one. I had not any single... I ate 36.

This is... He was an evil driver man. My year started basically football-wise with I ate 36 oysters, had two beers, went to watch a football game. LSU kicked the shit out of Clemson, and then I got to go home. But now you're in Nashville. It's not all. Go Titans. Yeah, go.

Tighten up. Tighten up. Yeah, we are here at the height of Titans' frenzy with Titans Van Nuindy. It's overwhelming, isn't it? Oh, man, everywhere you go. Actually, I don't think I've seen any Titans. I saw there is a Wendy's in town where on the sign outside, where they would normally have, like, frosty, only 19 cents today or whatever, they've just put a Titans flag in that.

it's just a titan in the frosty no in the just just just to cover yeah it was right below like our recipe is quality yes and then it just has the titans logo yeah yeah call me a titans fan because i'm willing and very able