Shutdown Fullcast - Fatal AttrACCtion: Clemson Goes A-Courtin’

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

Holly has some train news Which Starfox pilot is Elon Musk Clemson throws its crayons, legally speaking Ryan offers an emotionally healthy solution for the fracturing ACC The Cal Appreciation Minute ™ Kate Middleton, Sephora Sasquatch This Is March [citation needed] This week’s theme song arranged and performed by Seth Guttman See more of Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and more at jasonkirk.fyi  Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dare Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, wherever finer podcasts are placed Purchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We get to visit Jacksonville, which was not named one of the top 10 places to host a sporting event by a sports business journal. This was obviously a very well-thought-out and scientific study that they were doing there because, number one, and I know it's Sportstown USA, so I don't even need to say it, but I'm going to say it just for those who don't automatically assume, oh, that's the best. Orlando Orlando Where did Orlando Like Orlando Spain This has a one in front of it So it's 10th

Is it number of events hosted Hey there's two bowl games there buddy At least Is Disney's Wild World of Sports still a thing Is that still there? It is still a thing Is that why they've got it?

That can't be what Okay so That's what I'm thinking Because from a volume play Because every like cheerleading competition And little league competition under the sun Is there I'm wondering if they're just like counting it by volume

And they've got the new soccer studio I mean are they counting drinking around the world At Epcot as a sport Because if so That is correct They've just found a sport that I don't excel at I think they have the most pro bowls per capita do they oh god i'm sorry i'm i've been sick in bed for a solid

week and i don't know why i'm defending orlando i don't know what i'm delirious they they had to have counted all the little things because in terms of hosting a major sporting event i can't think of like many more places that are like i have to admit miami miami's a terrible place to host all right i could stop there miami's a terrible place to host a sporting event and it gets all of them is it i wonder if it's about like um ease getting in and out of and uh just that has to be it it's like this is this was written by people who are sick of looking for parking i don't even think orlando is that easy to get around or in and out of i mean it's very easy to get too it's like for whatever reason every flight there is free it's impossible to get out of

or around it's not like a very convenient place you know welcome to the hotel californa basically like that's orlando's thing you come there for your kid's cheerleading event you get a DUI as is day regura for all Florida tourist and visitors your kid gets a DUI the whole cheerleading team gets the DUI and then you're stuck there and that's how Orlando's population continues to climb it's a unique it's a unique recruiting pitch i think then you see that UCF send you to space once once they get you full and then pretty soon you're helping out Gus Malzon become the best football program in florida wait maybe that's what they meant maybe they just meant it's the

best place to host sporting events because UCF football is there I might buy that the bounce I have to admit UCF fans if you are listening to this and boy I know you are because UCF mentioned. UCF mentioned. UCF mentioned. If this is you, I have to compliment you. Originally,

I made fun of your stadium for not being structurally sound. I'm going to change my opinion and state that it's super sick that your stadium is not structurally sound. Yeah, I thought this was kind of always the... No, I want to clarify.

I'm not... I think what happened was we stated that the stadium is structurally sound which is a matter of fact and they took that as an insult when in fact is it an observation of delight no way bitch no way for the first and last time i will suggest take a leaf out of south carolina's book make this a point of pride what did they say the the house doesn't bounce is that what they said i think so i think they i think they're like oh that's that's doesn't do that anymore you're in central florida poor

assembled carnival rides are, in some cases, via large insurance settlements, you're a literal birthright. Don't let them take that from you. Don't. Look what they took from us. Don't let them take that from you the way they took your Pappy's hand. Exactly. I didn't come all the way down to this fetid, uninhabitable swamp to build safe buildings.

I didn't get my master's degree from Carney Tech. My master's degree in Zero Liability University. Zero Liability University. That's a great name for UF's Law School. I didn't know that you guys have privatized that. We've privatized everything, evidently. Because of woke. Because of woke.

Well, thank goodness for that. Yeah. Yeah, Philly Napier can't win more than seven games a year because of woke. That's why. You want me to start the show? I mean, I guess. Welcome to the shutdown full cast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast.

My name is Spencer Hall. I will be guiding you through the most important events of, let's call it the college football universe, maybe a little bit beyond, definitely a little bit beyond. definitely a little bit beyond this week joining me as always is Jason Kirk

and Holly Anderson and this week on the ones and twos we have Douglas Raya Serone and you may know from DNF Fullcast After Dark and other adventures Michael Serber is I believe busy claiming his lottery winnings

because he won so if you need money yeah if you need money hit up Michael server because he's got it all. Put server's phone number up there in the comments. We will. His email is 38 Godfrey at gmail.com.

You need to ask him for cash. I wanted to start off by asking this question because it's not often that I come in and I have not seen something. I am obviously the most informed. The watcher. Yes. I am Wauatu. Because I have a very large head

He entertains all You're a very large head And I'm not wearing pants That's why I am I fucking Mordor here Yeah But Holly has something I have not seen So

Boy howdy I can't wait Where this is going Holly please tell me This amazing thing That I have missed It's probably because You don't follow

Northrop Grumman on Twitter That's true I don't Just the Just the like the stand accounts. Sorry. Real Grumheads had this one early.

Okay. DARPA selected us to further develop the concept of building a moon-based railroad network that would transport humans, supplies, and resources for commercial ventures. Moon a rail!

Moon a rail! Like we're real, like really? Moon or real? Not only is the moon real, but neither is high-speed rail. I can't believe we've managed to combine these two great tastes. I cannot, I cannot believe that we have actually brought high-speed rail to the moon before we brought it to Earth. Ladies and gentlemen, before we brought it to the United States. The moon doggle.

I'm viscerally excited about this. I'm sorry. Can we extend the rail from somewhere in America to the moon? Like a great lasso, a ball of yarn? Yes, but it only goes to El Paso. That's socialism. I mean, that's a good acclimation zone. The surface of the sun to the surface of the moon. No, no, we don't, Spencer, we don't have high-speed rail in our country.

It merely goes from our country to the moon. Only Elon Musk can use it, of course, after taxpayers build it. Only eight guys named Fred can use it. Yes. I hope it's coal-powered. I hope we are busily at work polluting as much of the universe as we can. We're just making it all as shitty as our own little neighborhood. Yeah, the dark side of the moon, that's just anthracite clouds.

I got it. U.S. Steel is back, baby. The thrill of littering in space has to be amazing. Do you know that's a real problem? In low Earth orbit? It is now, right? Like, we have so much crap up there. Yeah.

Yeah, we have a trash shield around our planet. Galactus comes in and he's like, ugh. Hi, Spencer Hall, reason.com here. Let me explain to you why the trash shield is good for humanity. The suit of armor around the world. That's right. Like when you drop your phone in the toilet, that's Galactus reaching for our planet. He's like, I don't know, man.

My first taste of this thing. Not good. wait yeah okay let's just keep keep going yeah this is this is also trash blocks out the sun which which lowers the temperature on earth huh seeing this yeah so really the industrialists are working hard for us turning our planet into a hairy gumball also the many metallic elements such as tinfoil and hats thereof floating in low earth orbit make it easier to tan we need to put Oh, more trash into space. I thought you're saying Earth tinfoil hat will make it, we'll save us from psionic blasts from powerful alien telepaths. Yeah, this works from without and I fear from within. Yeah, it's great.

Keep sending more garbage up there, UCF. Elon, not a problem. He can't get that far. Just astronauts up there, just chucking it. Just like, yeah, man. what do you think i i i know that given the given the intermingling of space x and and nassah which sucks uh it's probably impolitic of them to say so in public but what do you think actual honest to god astronauts do when they're they're talking about elin musk like in their off hours

i mean they got to think he's kind of a tryhard right they're like this is gotta be in In terms of, like, knowing that you're in, knowing that you're in, like, the worst of all group chats, knowing that you're being made fun of by every active astronaut has got to be up there with Rory, with Rory McElroy. Sorry, I almost said Roy Gilmore, the second worst Rory. That's got to be up there with astronaut, Rory Gilmore. This is up there with Rory McElroy, knowing that every time he fucks up, Caroline Wozniacki and Serena Williams are off giggling about it in the corner. I think the cyber truck looks like shit that we. would be on the moon in a movie made in like 1976. Yeah.

Yeah. It feels like if you're an actual NASA person, you look at him and just think that that's what that's what works. That's all we had to do. What I envisioned as a youth living in the Star Fox universe, this is not what I thought it would be like. First of all, he'd be like an owl or a frog. Oh, yeah, he's please, he's slippy.

Yeah. That's the worst thing you can say about somebody. Like, that's the meanest that you're like, terrible person? No, he's a slippy. Guys! Help! The monorail, I'm sorry, the mooner rail? Moonerail.

I cannot wait for the mooner rail. This is now I actually want to go into space. just so I can ride a boondoggle train this is for me this would replace the West Virginia like two man train what do we call it the little train that goes across

West Virginia University the little the little PRT train yes the PRT this is now replacing the PRT as my favorite train in any world period if they they should make it

they should actually they should actually just this is by the way the most federal government thing we could possibly do would be to just say, hey, listen, why don't we repurpose the PRT and put it on the moon? That way, West Virginia gets some cash. Okay. You liking it? I like your heads up. Robert Byrd would have made this happen. I feel like we end up with a railroad on the moon. No actual towns or factories or laboratories or anything, just a train circling

the moon forever until it runs out of whatever shit we put in it. Or like when you're playing SimCity and you're like, I'm so sick of looking at these fucking traffic jams. I'm not going to build any roads. I'm going to do railroads first, all railroads. Yeah, that never works. You try to lay it out, but you've counted wrong so you can't put an industrial zone there. You better get in stadium. Don't get cute.

Thank you. Yeah, as always, the best overarching life advice. Don't get cute. You're damn right, by the way. I am totally going to put a Lego suit, like an actual, if I'm going to be a conductor on the mooner rail, Gosh, you've got some career change. You've got some career curves ahead of you. I do, I do.

But not one single curve, because we're just building this in a belt. No turns, no nothing. But if you're doing it, I'm totally getting a Lego suit. Like, I'm even, my little visor is going to have the little dot, dot, smiley face from a Lego man. I'm 100% doing that. Yeah. Are we going to have Moon Train capers? Like, are you bringing that back?

Who's going to commit the first moon train robbery, yeah. I'm here and train through the middle of nowhere. That's what this country was founded on as far as I'm concerned. Is it legal to rob the moon train? Oh, you've just posited the existence of moon Pinkertons. Yeah, this feels to me. Maybe that's, hey, we should send them all up there, just because you never know. So it's international waters, and I assume launching from Orlando, the universe is great as sports town.

So you're in the jurisdiction of Orlando, which means, yes, it's legal. There's nothing illegal in Orlando. That's true. Remember, the moon is divided like the old, like the new world from between Spain and Portugal. It's divided between UCF and Mississippi State because Mississippi State is the other, you know, space university, right? Yes. So if you're not about one. Yeah.

So you really have to appeal to one or the other in terms of authorities. So either the Citronaut and Gus Malzahn working as a two-judge panel or a bully. Bullie decides your case. Not guilty. Judge peanut butter bones. I object. That would be, hey, as a counterpoint, Your Honor, this delicious chewy treat? Anyway, I know there's football stuff going on.

I just wanted to celebrate a little bit of as we turn over. as we turn over the loam of spring into hope and renewal and maybe pause stick our spades into the earth and just gaze up at the sky I just I want to be able to whisper moon or rail or stick our spades into the moon if we're already there fuck yeah

let us never forget our beautiful siblings the tardigrades are already there paving the way if you're listening little buddies thank you little tardigrates with their little head phones in. I just imagine the little jackhammers and their little shuffles

and pushing little wheelbarrows. Take my little tardigrade work break, call them a girl, my little tartagrade girl. What's up, baby? They're little sitting on the girders swinging their little feet open in their lunch boxes with a little metal pan. A little sub sandwich in it. What are you doing out there?

I'm just trying to make it happen for you and me, baby. A little tardigrade mental box. Yeah, the homies hit in the bar after work. Mm-hmm. Aren't you cold up there? No, baby. Tardigrade bar fight. barter grades

yeah me and the boys were the bar degrades yeah we're indestructible how much can you drink all of it all of a fucking tartagrade yeah I'm a tartagrade I make the shit work well longer we talk about this the more Clemson might think that we forgot about them

I'm not a water bear I'm a beer bear I'm a beer bear let's say hey do you need a ride home Nope, I can survive re-entry. No, I can survive literally anywhere. I'll just sleep right here. Yeah, I'm good. Where are you sleeping tonight?

I'm sleep. Hell if I know. Where are the dorms? Storms? I'd party till I drop. I'm a tardigrade. Doesn't I go to work? For the moon.

Tartagrade's in low gravity. You've got to be like, oh man, the ultimate killing machine. A weble tartagrade. This is the next, listen, this is the next, this is the next, this is the next Ben's health like thing like listen you got to have tardigrade mind the tardigrade mindset I'm on that tardigrade diet I eat whatever yeah I eat whatever what do you do survive that's what I do whatever it's what I do whatever it's what I do it's what I do it's achievable without the without the anti-gravity supplements I'm working a construction job on the moon from my family so what I do is I

get invincible if you just if you just take all of the TikTok memes about blue collar workers and put them to tartar grades, it really works well, right? It works beautifully. Like, what do you do, man? Tartarate kind of rough when it's a visible feathers. Like, she doesn't know she's in the presence of a certified forklift operator on the moon.

With this little hat. Don't make fun of me. You think I'm cute, but I'll kick your ass. That's right. Or die trying. Nice try. I can't die. So.

Yeah. Now I'm going to make up the certified forklades. left operator t-shirt but with tartar grades on it my daughter's shit about the chargers my daughter is proud of me because she knows I'm a hardworking big font tartar grade I don't believe in dentistry um so clemson yeah okay clemson come on come on down yeah go cut yourself a switch It's a joke switch. Yeah. Clemson is suing the ACC.

Next. We don't just want to take a big cleansing sigh. First of all, I think the ACC, who isn't, who isn't suing the ACC? Clemson trailing Florida State once again. I think that we should one congratulate the ACC on yet another person proving they exist. That's, I think that's big for y'all, frankly. right that you're like somebody wants to fight with us oh my god i guess it doesn't count until the aces actually appears in court so maybe clemson is testing the theory of whether the acc exists

they do they do can i tell you my my favorite so what are they suing them for okay so they don't want to leave We don't want to leave. I want to make that clear. Constructed is only an institution of people who believe that you shouldn't live together before marriage can. Uh-huh.

But it does, it is suing, uh, just it is saying, though, that by the way, and this is why you make the big bucks attorneys, all of those deals that we signed are making it really hard to leave the conference. Yeah.

That's it. Literally, I'm going to read to you from it. They have a chilling. effect on Clemson's ability to explore and pursue an exit from the ACC or to negotiate alternate revenue sharing from all this all this belonging to the ACC is really messing with my not belonging to the ACC girl I just this whole this marriage that we have it's just I'm really feeling I'm really feeling like I'm not not married to other people as well and I just think that's you know I don't want to I don't want to divorce you I just want to you know I just want to you

I just want to know. I don't want you to be able to marry other people. I want to do that. I don't want to run, baby. I just want the collar off. Clemson wants to let their neck breathe. Clemson is telling the ACC, if you love us, set us free. And we'll stay, but you'll give us more money to do so.

ACC is like, counterpoint. We boil your pet rabbits alive. Yeah. This is, that is my favorite part. my second favorite part of this ruling. What is your favorite part? The part where they say, we're not leaving,

but it's really messing with our ability to make funny in other conferences. Yeah, and it doesn't want to leave, but it would like to know, by the way, legally speaking, does the ACC own the broadcasting rights to the game if we leave? Honey, have you seen our lease? No reason.

Do I keep the charger if I, leave honey do i keep the charger not that i want to yeah but would the keys be in my hand so let's say you died just hypothetically i feel so like this is like shitting money on lawyers just just to prove you're mad right and and also prove you're less mad than florida state who who just did this shit with even less of a plan and even less of a um uh uh uh uh an in-game in mind, I guess. Like, with Clemson, if they're trying to say, like, we want to stay, but we want to tear up the contract, that's something. It's not going to happen, but it's something.

Whereas Florida State is just like, we're demonstrating emotions. This is the only way we know how to express ourselves. We're throwing crayons. That's all we're doing. Are you going to leave? We totally want to leave. Are you going anywhere? No.

Clemson, this isn't on your IEP. That's it. Listen, this is, this is Ms. Jenkins and Clemson is not listening to me. I have a word with him because he's not coming in from recess. And we have, with legal matters to discuss, we have brought in our legal mind. Ryan, Annie, how do you, how do you, how do you for Clemson? Yeah, could you talk to him? You should know that the extent.

of what I know about whatever y'all are talking about is that Clemson has sued the ACC. I saw that tweet and I was like, huh, well, I'm not going to dig into that today. Well, unfortunately, you're on the clock because no other attorneys

were willing to take the case. All right, here's my knee-jerk response. The ACC should just kick them both out. Just say like, you know what? Oh, I love this. Is it the smart thing to do? Is it the financially responsible thing to do? No, but it's just say, you know what?

The ACC is about having a good time, not about high-stakes drama, not about competing at the highest possible level in football. It's about good vibes on a Saturday between 1 and 7 p.m. And if you don't want to be a part of that, you can get the hell out. And this will hurt them, but on the other hand, Clemson and Florida State will forever be in a Wikipedia category with Temple and UMass. Yeah. And why not?

And man, even worse, South Carolina. Now we're talking. This oil is hot. We only like fun schools like Stanford. You two can get the fuck out. Because like to some extent, I think what Florida State and Clemson have in mind, or at least aware of, is, okay, ACC media days are going to happen. And this is going to be all anybody's going to want to talk about. And it's going to be so uncomfortable for the ACC.

commissioner and ooh oh we're going to make you squirm well what if you open acc media days by saying like nope these two schools are gone that's it you can talk to the others make we got plenty we brought in stanford and cal because they're just as important that's it we're done stanford you're the florida state of california you got to make them show up first that's the best part oh 100% yes so what's on the agenda today guys we're being throw it out of the conference. Like, kitty table in that ballroom, make them sit in it. Like, make up all their chairs face the wall like they're in timeout.

I understand that there's a way you can just be like, well, we can draw this out and, you know, there will be some penalty. They're good for leaving, whatever, just go off vibes. Just be like, you guys are not fun and you are not welcome at this party anymore. That's it. And then, so then instantly, is it FSU and Clemson suing, like, um, we have a grant of rights agreement that says we are bound to each other for a thousand. in years, said so right here, you signed it. That'd be great, because then I'd just be like, cool, our counter argument is the first suit you see filed against us.

No, no, see, at that time, we were mad. Now we're sad. Your Honor, this falls under vibe law. Y'all, this is a compliment to Ryan's teaching more than anything else, but we're pretty good lawyers. Like, just bail. It's the stupid DeShare's own meme. Just you don't have to be in a conference with the Clemson and an FSU.

Just walk away. Just kick them out. Yeah. I mean, you're both bummers. They're going to get what they want. So ultimately, this may actually, you may actually come out ahead of what everybody knows is actually going to happen. If only in terms of legal fees and, again, headache. Like, I don't think this is a thing that parents do anymore.

But at least when I was a kid, if you threatened to run away from home, you risk that your parents would say, like, great. I'll help you pack. Like, they weren't actually going to let you go be a vagrant or whatever. But they were going to call your bluff to some extent. You're going to be like, well, no, but I miss you. And I don't know how to take care of myself. I'm little old Clemson. I can't possibly brush my teeth without you.

And I think at some point, you got to, you got to just lean into that and be like, cool. See, I think you'll do so great on your own independent Florida State. I think that is Clemson. I think Florida State's the one who's like, well, I just live out here now. Yeah, Florida State's like, I would love to live on a rail car. That still looks awesome. I'll get so buff. I live in your driveway now.

Yeah, so my buddy lets me keep my maxima in the driveway and I sleep in the back. And technically, I mean, two out of three days, I rent it out and I just sleep at the laundromat. If you buy a movie ticket early enough, you can say they're all day, they can't do shit. So why are you doing all this? Because fuck the ACC, that's why. Yes. Yeah. So I'm not apologizing to her.

I'm really I'm really showing them Are you sorry you plan on getting invited the The Big Ten is that your Is that your plan? Also man doesn't matter Mind your business Clemson you know what the other schools in this conference Are care about

You doing this right as the tournament's getting started Is some real mean shit Some real fucking mean shit This is the yeah the meme where Oh hey everybody's excited for basketball I want to talk about football crankiness Blah blah blah And y'all don't let Insty State have this.

God. Oh, damn it. It probably was the thinking behind the timing. It's like, yeah, it probably was like we're going to, you know, all eyes are on the ACC as usual this week or whatever. And I think it backfires. This is why Yukon is perfectly happy to stay in the Big East and be an independent football. Because they know everybody's going to complain about basketball, you and a lot of, like, everybody's on the same page. We're going to make fun of Rick Petino.

going to complain about how the selection committee doesn't respect us. It is funny. Number one overall seed and I guess the conference sucks. Only let three teams say that is funny. Why are they number one if their conference is so bad? I think there's a lot of legal sense

in this document. And Ryan... Florida State sue the Big East. Should sue the SEC for making them feel bad. Like, we don't want in the SEC. We just want the emotional damages of being being denied to be compensated in a manner befitting our immense hurt feelings. They haven't stolen us yet, so.

Yeah. This is called the, this is called the choose me penalty? Is there some sort of like mutually assured destruction in the SEC that ensures that no school will ever sue the conference because then every other school would be like, here's all the terrible shit we have on you. You're all your worst stories. The SEC is NATO. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. like what could that be in the SEC like what followed no don't tell them we paid a player don't don't that's

that's not valid anymore right it's probably like revealing you didn't pay a player yeah yeah it would be like here's the time Alabama really really tried not to

and tried to follow a whole year just giving them camel cash which we didn't even know still existed yeah I don't I don't know what that would possibly be in the

C C. Ryan, I wanted to run this by you and see if it made legal sense. Seven Alabama analysts in a boiler room somewhere with back issues of Red Book. I'll reveal your athletic director's burner accounts on every message board. If you sue us, that's what it would be. Sorry, Greg. So this is what I wanted to check with you. And I think it's actually, like, to me, this makes great legal sense, but I'm an idiot. It doesn't disqualify me from being an amateur turn.

It hasn't stopped us from doing this podcast for far, too long. Exactly. Um, so one factor here is, uh, under heading 82. Upon information and belief the ACC's excessive withdrawal penalty is significantly larger than that of comparable intercollegiate athletic conferences as set forth in the table below. Uh, all right? I have a question. Did they sign this already? Holly, they have. They signed it happily like clemson signed it in all caps like we clemson love it no further questions we don't like this thing that we signed but they don't like it and also florida state doesn't like it either but clemson wants you to know get up in front of judge catfish your honor

my fee fees you know how a conference is like a fancy restaurant you're like i don't like this i would like a hamburger instead all right so sorry you you wanted to So there's a table. Yes, there's a table, and it lists all of the various withdrawal fees, right? Which go from, which I was surprised, Big Ten withdrawal penalty zero. Purdue? What's keeping you from bigger things? Join the ACC.

Gravity is all. And they're fighting it every day. Which, by the way, they amended its withdrawal fee after Maryland went out. like once you're in the ACC there's only two ways out neither one of them are free fuck you Maryland but if you want to leave the ACC total right like Florida state's lawyers put together their estimate of what would cost mind you they're trying to make this look as cartoonish as possible but the total cost per Florida States Board of Trustees which again this is Florida State Matt that I am not

hiding that they claimed it would cost five hundred and seven $72 million. How bad do you want it? Is this any relation to whoever did the math at Arizona? Last couple seasons. Is this common core? If you just take the, if you just take the number on record, it's $130 million.

My favorite thing about what you've said so far is that, Nobody seems to know what the number is to leave. Like, that in and of itself is fucking amazing. They're running it. They're running it like we run taxes, right? How much do you owe? Let's see. Let's guess.

And then the government will tell me if I'm wrong or not, in which way. When FSU revealed those numbers, it very much felt like the number was a measure of how angry they were getting. It showed the chart of, like, in 2010, we were this mad. In 2014, when we signed it, we were this map. in 2020 now look how fucking mad we are bar through roof i'm 800 million dollars mad we've been dealing in emotional truths for so long

that we've taken them out of the language arts and into the math portion of the test yeah this is an emotional mathematical proof in the SEC if you just if you just left right if you just left yeah it'd be 45 mil okay for just 45 meal

Meanwhile the ACC is like This was signing blood The ACC only has the sturdiest fucking lawyers in the world Rocking up on blood oaths To get away from Pitt They're like no Once you're bonded to pit

That's life Half a fucking billion dollars Hello ACCC offices I'm trying to get an exact number For what it would cost to leave the conference Ah well that's hard to say Because we don't know the value of your first board's life Hold on let me open the necker

Namakon here. Oh, it's shrieking. I'll have to call you back. Sorry, you'll have to answer. I'm looking at the manual right here, sir, and it says you'll have to answer my riddles three. Get in the scale and I will weigh the worth of your soul, and it's 10% of that. Rumpel still's an ass conference. It feels like it's tied to GDP or something.

Or like interest rates are soaring. It will now cost $7 billion. If Miami tried this and had to get on the soul, this whole thing they'd be like well again I've signed this title deal before so what you're telling me is Donald Trump could not afford to leave the ACC no apparently not Trump University stuck

but we already said Florida states there yeah Florida states like this way is your soul jokes on you bye what I like about the table that you're describing is this is a really handy way of explaining opportunity cost to people it's like yeah it doesn't cost you anything to leave the big 10 except it costs you all this money that you would have made that's

all no big deal it does this is it costs you a half billion dollars either way it is it's a direct it's a direct reflection of go ahead right try it right so what if like say um say uh i'm trying to so say like uh UNC, left the ACC for the Big Ten, right? Bang, half a billion dollars gone. Then say, UNC leaves the Big Ten for the SEC. Look at all that opportunity, gosh. Now we've lost a billion.

Then they're in the SEC. They leave the SEC. That's a mere $45 million. Tack it on. Fuck it at that point. It's like, you could just ring up an incredible, you're never going to have to pay all this shit. Mmm, the other Donald Trump approach.

A university can deploy bankruptcy. Once you come up with a number, it's like, It's going to cost us $500 million to leave the athletic conference that gives us Boston College every fall. Go ahead. That number's not real. Yeah, it's like, I'm just a little guy. I'm just a little school. You're going to make me pay all that money?

I'm excited for Florida State to start the GoFundMe. Help us retire our medical conference debt. I think he's more of a naturopath conference. We just so very badly want to join the big fucking 12. It's worth a half billion dollars to us. The other reason I would just kick them out straight away is like, if you are the ACC and you have an interest in continuing to exist, letting this court case play out potentially ends badly for you where they're like, nope, whole grant of rights is like, it's not real, you couldn't have done it in the first place, everybody can do whatever they want. And then your conference can potentially fall apart very quickly. But if you are just like, no, they're out, they have no standing to sue us anymore.

Like, there is no judge who can tell you that you're not real. You're still all powerful. Hmm. I don't know. Like, like, per like college sports logic, like independent Clemson is still suing the ACC for the right to leave the ACC and somehow this is a thing ongoing for years. Oh, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't rule out that they'll try. But I think it also, like, send a warning shot.

Tell these other fuckers, like, don't even think about it. Don't even, Boston College, do not get I, Boston College. Don't get smart Wake Forest. You know, like, could I use Boston College? It's not a problem. Please don't look at us. You don't want us to have athletic. You mean we don't have to have athletics?

Awesome. More space for the library. They're Jesuits, man. They're going to homebrew. That's, yeah. You changed the state. into a brew pub? This is actually dope. Yeah, we're totally for this.

I just love that the only plan for all this was to add cow. That was the solution to stabilize this environment. Interesting voice of verbs. Yeah, adding the most geologically unstable school. And financially. You're saying the university's

in a whole. In so many ways, yes. I'm saying all cow metaphors are literal. best school, man. I know the best fucking university and best sports team of the world is. It's Cal football. Everything about them is completely in harmony. The brand is seamless. No, there's a seam.

I can point do it. It'll make yourself known. Unless I miss something, Notre Dame has also been very quiet in all of this. Yeah. Well, it's Lent, so. Oh, okay. So on Easter, we'll get Notre Dame's feelings about the same Kate Middleton returned. Great.

Yeah. Maybe in the same place at the same time. It's summer. Major League Baseball is in full swing, and there's one app for you if you want last-minute deals on Major League Baseball games, and that's GameTime.co. That's right, gametime.c.O. I'm looking at the app right now, and I'm picking out America's team, really. The Kansas City Royals, and at Kaufman Stadium, just in a couple days, there's tickets.

available for $16. And then, well, I don't want to up the stakes too much here. But let's go to next week. It looks like they're playing the Chicago White Sox. There are tickets available right now for $3. You could see a Major League Baseball game in Chicago for $3. What stadium you ask? Not important.

It's in Chicago. But GameTime.co is not just for Major League Baseball games, even though you can get great deals for that. You can also get great deals for concerts, football games. Those are going to be coming up pretty soon. you can find them on gametime.co. I use GameTime.com to purchase last minute tickets for an Olivia Rodrigo concert. Tyler Childers did not show up at mine.

That would have been awesome, but it was awesome nonetheless. And GameTime.co made it super easy. I got my parking through GameTime.com. And I got great tickets for my wife and I. GameTime.com.com made all of that so easy. And one of the greatest concert experiences I've ever had in my entire life. And I'll be using them again. In fact, I'm seeing a little bit called the beaches.

in late September, and where did I get my ticket? That's right, even ahead of time. I didn't wait till the last minute, because GameTime's not CO has you covered then as well. That's what I love about it. Whenever I want to get a ticket for an event, whether I heard about it months before and procrastinated to no end and have left myself in a lurch, you can save up to 60% of buying last minute for sports, concerts, comedy, theater, anything else. So take the guesswork out of buying MOB tickets with Game Time. You can download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code fullcast for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply.

Again, create an account and redeem code F-U-L-L-C-A-S-T for $20 off. Download game time today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. I love that this has been going on for so long that we could potentially now do an entire second episode on more dumb shit they have done. We won't. But it's there. But it's there.

And we could. And that's not Cape Meadow. Whatever is it. No, it's not. It's absolutely not. No. No. No, that's just a lady. That's just a picture of a lady. Yeah, that's just a person.

So who will be the next school to sue the ACC is my question. I thought you were going to say who's going to be the next Cape Moulton body double. Wow, it's Will Ferrell. Like, honestly God, Ryan, they might as well, they might as well have walked you out there and been like, brew that human. Are you not satisfied? Yes. It looks so, it looks so little like her. Behold, Grady Brunette

Lady Yeah, seriously That's like Sephora Sasquatch, right? Like, Like a cryptid you found at Alta That's what it was like. Tuesday morning,

Eldridge Horror King Milton was spotted in a garden store. I didn't think anything was going to top of Sephora Sasquatch, but then he said, Ulta crypted. Damn, wow, look at him go. the cryptid that only lives in Elta

I have you heard the tale of the home goods witch I can get kids on TikTok to believe in this if you just give me two weeks they'll be like no dude totally saw it yeah I saw a TikTok it's really the only justification you need for believing anything at this point the TikTok teams are like Michael Jordan couldn't ball

like they would do anything a guy with a beard said it so yeah look See, no, you, it's in this TikTok. Taxes aren't real. Taxes aren't real. Kate Middleton is a cryptid that lives in an altar somewhere in Jacksonville, Florida. I mean, that's as good an explanation as any I've heard.

Yeah, sure. People are stitching it with, it's true, I saw her. This guy right here with his beard said it, I'm pointing for the listeners who can't see me pointing. And then I'm playing a saxophone on the next stitch. Because that's how you know, something is true if a floating, head is pointing at it what time could we do a business

I would love to do hold on let me let me put the dog in her place real quick dogs dogs don't have money so we don't need that's it the ACC should

check their acorns account dogs are not capitalist dogs hate money dogs eat money business business but it's not dogs just for people and their money that they spend on their dogs. Oh my God.

People business time. It's a business. It's a business. Outset business. Springtime business. It's a business. And I've got a cold because the temperature is hot and then it's cold and then it's hot and then it's cold again.

My mucus membranes can't take it. You're so, you're so, you're so, you're so brisk. You're so, you're so gentle. Such a withering flower That's me Who wants to go first? I'll go first The podcast I do with Server

We're not all like this It's back for season two We did the Maryland episode already By the time you have heard this The Tennessee episode is already out We are all like this Holly is on it But hasn't listened to it

Which is very exciting I don't remember what I said That's okay You didn't say There's one way to find out There were some, I won't tell you what they are. There were some things that Holly said that she said, you can't put this in the episode.

And we didn't put them in the episode because I'm good for those. They were about a, all I will say is they were about a certain woman's basketball player of yester. Oh, that was a really, yeah, that was a really hard time for me. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I'll say about that. So that's, we're not all like this. You can go find it on wherever you're listening to this podcast.

You know how during, you know how sometimes you have a, you know, a player who is the worst person alive during their college career and you spend a lot of time muttering at your television that you wish that person was in jail and then they wind up in russian prison and you're like lord i want to be clear i said i wasn't going to tell this story that could be like 20 players it could it could that caused some soul they caused some soul searching on my part about things that you wish for yeah all i know is that even my worst enemy i would probably be able to say, you know what, I think I don't want that person to be in a Russian prison. If asked the question in a press conference, say.

Be nice to Kim Mulkey. It hasn't been the same since she was unable to stop Christmas from coming. Fifty-third consecutive year. What other schools have you done recently, Ryan? I saw Maryland. We did Maryland. We did Tennessee. Upcoming schools. We have Cal coming. Speaking of. ACC member. We have Baylor coming. and we are prepping the Gonzaga episode, the first non-football school. Wait, since I haven't listened to the episode,

will you tell me, am I the one that we are not all like? There were some points of dissension. I would say that you, like, I think, I'll say this. I think you had the most favorable opinion of the Volnavy of the three people that we talked to. Probably because I'm the oldest. Maybe so, but, and nobody had a negative opinion. Or because they're broke and don't have boats.

That I think it falls more into that category of like if you are, unless you have a connection or a boat, the VAL Navy does not mean a lot. Like, does not impact your day back. That's all. Beautiful boaters? But there is a story about Spencer and a hot dog and the river. So I'm not going to tell more than that. He didn't actually do it. He did not actually do that.

Oh, don't tell. Don't tell. Don't give it away. A lie about a hot dog in a river. That's even good. Water is water. Aabled hot dog in a river. What does it mean?

Man. I saw Kate Middleton eating a hot dog in a river. Cryptids eating hot dogs. Dot tumbler.com. Man, a cryptid dog. That sounds like a delicious cookout off-menu item. That's a real roll of the dice right there. All right.

That's my business. Who's got business? Jason, I'm going to tag you. Thank you. So I have three upcoming. events to announce. One, speaking of Clemson, March 29 at Pendleton Bookshop near Clemson. We have a free signing, reading with some other writers whose names I should have written down. But all very talented, assembled for you by Jonathan Field, friend of the program.

It's free, probably hangouts afterward. Registration, welcome. April 5th at a novel idea in Philadelphia, yes, that's the night right before WrestleMania. A free book signing, and probably some artwork for you by my daughter. She's there to do doodles. And April 20, that's right, the funny day at St. Clair's Episcopal in Ann Arbor, a whole shin dig and hangout with Jane Koston and Ace and Bender, both friends of the program. And yes, getting me into a church in 2024 is even weirder than getting you into a church. So we're all going to be fine with that together. Either way, we're going to drink beer at church on 420.

Come on. What more could you want? What better way to get higher? Closer to the Lord. This will know what's up. Your $20 ticket includes a copy of the book, and yes, I'll add any proceeds that make their way to me after expenses to a certain charity event that might be going on.

I don't know if we've announced dates, but at some point thereabout. And see my website, jasonkirk.Fii, for links to those events. Also, if you have a venue, I'd like to set up a book event that doesn't involve me handling details. Let me know, reach out. I will try to be there. interested in Austin and Brooklyn in particular, but I just love going places as long as I don't have to think about anything on the way.

Let's get Jason to the Brooklyn IKEA for an effect. I will be there. Jason wants to be sleeping at the Brooklyn IKEA, the dream. I've always wanted, like, I know people have done it. Let's go to the Brooklyn IKEA and give out relationship advice. Unsolicited. The couple's passing us who look unhappy. Dump him.

Dumpin. as I'm going through ICA of its own relationship labyrinth of sorts. Just get on the microphone into certain sections. You'd be like, dump him, girl. Yeah, if you make it do the whole thing, you're good. There's a minotaur in here, and it's unspoken friction between you. Also, Spencer, wearing horns. Just normal, Spencer, popped up in the middle.

He's got horns boat. I know, in a personal conflict. Uh-oh, it's horny, Spencer. Oh, my God. There's an IKEA cryptid. He's eating meatballs in the pillow section again. He's eating pillows in the meatball section. That were there two of them.

Why isn't he nude? Because he's horny. I know he's wearing one of those like wraparound stuff snakes. But it's not covering anything it should be covered. Just, just nipples. That's it. Sorry, this is IKEA. Nipples.

I want to be sick. This is still the business section. the podcast. The man's wearing nothing but umlots. Help. All right. Uh, so charity, charity bowl. All right. It's time. April 15th, 2024. Get your tax returns ready. Charity Bundy Bull returns. And Michigan, you all want a title. So if we don't crack a million this year, it's your fault. damn wow if you wanted to and if you of course wanted to you know support us in a different way there's an event that goes out all the time called the channel 6 newsletter oh hey yeah and

you should of course subscribe to that it is twice a week right now we are in off-season mode so you get one newsletter that's everything we've been you know reading watching doing enjoying feeling and then you get one piece of content A week. And we've also been doing a live chat every week for subscribers in our $10 a month or $100 a year tiers where we put on a webinar. We put that in the calendar invitation so you can put it on your calendar at work. Nobody bothers you. And we just hang out for an hour over lunch and take questions from readers and talk shit.

Also, we have some really wild shit coming up. We have some very, very cool international shit coming up. And by international, I mean, Bassmasters, baby. That too. Bass N-No Nation, so. That's very true. Last business thing, which is entirely useless at this point, we are working on some more live shows. Can I tell you where they are?

No. Can I tell you when they are? Also, North America. Are tickets available to purchase? They are not. But what if we told them when two of them were, but not where? Okay. One is Memorial Day weekend and one is in August.

Yep, that's it. That's all you get. No, find us. Just scour the nation. And a third show, and a San Diego player with not enough information. Dubuque? No, you idiot.

Big fancy hats. The only one who could find us is like cable. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like only time travelers who could just hop around all over on that day. Did Carmen San Diego have a gun, you think? I had to.

She went through. She went through Texas, after all. If it's, if it is, it's a little pearl-handled pistol, but I see her as more of a poiser type. I think she's got a big ass gun. That's what she's hiding in that hat. Oh, not in a big coat. Hat is a gun. The hat is a gun.

Why else was Interpol keep a tabs on her man? She's running, she's running weapons. That's what she's doing. Interpol is Continental. They commit all kinds of stabbing crimes. I do think, I think if I were in charge of development of where in the world is Carmen San Diego. I would have one mission where it's like, yeah, she's, she's transporting so much cocaine.

Like, there's not even an art. There's no art here. There's no artifact. Just a lot of fucking powder. What's her middle name? Griselda. Show me Orlando. I feel like if she had guns, her name would be Carmen Birmingham.

Carmen Mobile. All right. I think that concludes podcast business. It's a great ad. Where the fuck is Carmen Memphis? I apologize for joining late, but did we talk about the conclusion to the Iditarod this year? No, we did not. No.

So Dallas Cee, the moose gutter who was penalized, I think, did we talk about that last week? Sure did. Yes. Okay, okay. Despite the, what was it, two-hour penalty? Yeah, I think so Yeah His 24-hour delay

Was turned into 26 As I understand Still won that shit Still won that shit easily And he's like already The The goat of dogs As I understand

Yeah, he's now The first five-time winner And so I think What this incident Has taught Dallas And probably other musher's Is don't even bother Just like

Matrix sequel Drive by Blast that Moose and just keep rolling. Like, who fucking cares? Everybody behind Dallas, don't listen to Ryan. Thank you for the image of

a dude absolutely blasting away with a gun as he's zipping through with dogs who surely won't be alarmed by the sound of heavy gunfire. Well, get a tolerance then, you idiot. This is John Wickdick-Defreeze. If you can take down

a moose with a weapon with a silencer on it while driving past in the snow yeah man he were the one just see this guy driving break yourself fool and that shit's going and moose are just dropping damn geez it it's Dallas he's got a fucking bow and arrow taking it down got a katana doing a drive-by knife that's fine too fucking i did a ride legolus Sorry, I just want to make sure we close the loop on that. Never apologize. So is it two hours per moose unguided? It probably is.

That sounds like a day off to me. But it didn't stop him, you know? Man, bears on pre-killed moose are really the ultimate circling back hazard. Just circling back. No? All right. Nobody? Yeah, no, I'm with you on that.

I did want to say this. I wanted to ask each of you. Jesus. Okay. Just out of curiosity. How much college basketball, men's college basketball if you watch this year? Each, each, starting with Jason. Men's, no.

Just no. One has not. I mean, I, uh, I get up early, so no. So you can watch Gonzaga. Yeah, yeah, when they're still going. Women's have seen a bit up, though. Okay, okay.

Ryan, how, this is, these are people who work in this industry. I don't work. I don't have a job. I'm like, I full cast. I'm working for Melrose. I Google weird Italy news. That's my job. You don't have an alert?

You need an alert Those are very handy You really got to take your best practices from Spencer Listen I handpick I don't wait for the alert to come to me I go find it That's right This is Italy heist

I'm weird Italy news I don't think I have kept tabs on some men's basketball games But I have not watched any No Holly I have watched all of the following any Tennessee game where it feels like Rick Barnes is coming close to fulfilling this prophetic quest to kill my father via his coaching of our basketball team and their performance thereof and also North Carolina State just so I can see this one Tom Cullen looking dude oh wait who won the tournament I did watch some college basketball the other day did you watch the big fella

I love the big fella I have seen clips of the big fella Is there anything better than a big fella? Oh man They really They legit got screwed out of that tournament I watched the Ivy League title game Because it looked like a 13 and 17 team

Was going to make the tournament And that was amusing to me But they didn't And now the tournament starts And I will watch all of it And pretend I know what's going on That's the move Yeah

That is 100% the move I have watched one game Which one? I watched UNCNC State at the ACC. That's right. Because I didn't have anything to do. I was just at home, and I saw it was on, and I was like, oh, that's a rivalry. Wait, you didn't watch any, you didn't, did I never go into watching any Tennessee?

No. Are you aware that we have a ginger who's scoring 40 points a game? Dalton Connect. Connect. Yes, Dalton Connect. Okay. Pain don't hurt, but Tennessee basketball does. Hey.

Sonny, get over here. Sonny, get over here. I watched part of an Auburn game at some point. So, yeah, I have watched. I have what, they're really good. I have watched about three hours of college basketball. Minton's college basketball. I've watched one game, one game all year.

And it was mainly for DJ Burns, the big fella for, who, by the way, I wanted to see if it worked. And I just Googled NC State's big-ass basketball player, and it pulls up DJ Burns. I have handed out basketball picking advice though like when people ask them like yeah I got you which basically it's just look at Ken Palm who seems underseated that's a great value it's really simple system why do you think Spencer wants to know this

since he's not here right now especially he just left he just kind of wandered off but I thought he was leading us into a discussion about the big fella So when you said Bigfell, I thought you're talking about Indiana State's Bigfell. So did I. Well, that guy didn't make the tournament, and I'm very sad about that. Yeah. You're talking about the guy with the glasses, right?

Virginia, you don't belong here. Yeah. Get out of here. Assholes. You're not as beautiful as him. You're not. Your coach is beautiful, but not in the same way. Spencer, were you just trying to kill time, or did you really want to know why we watched baseball?

I was curious. I wanted to know how much anyone had watched because it's my assumption that, that like college basketball so there's this whole argument as to whether the NBA's next contract is going to be worth X because there's a sensation that that feeling that it has currently overvalued so whatever the negotiation for the next one is going to be is going to be kind of hairy because chances are the bid's going to come in under what the NBA wants and that will can that will in turn cause a serious revaluation of and V.A franchises, particularly the smaller ones, right? There's this nasty cascading effect.

And I was thinking, I was like, oh, man, wait, how much college basketball have I watched? And, you know, like, I will stumble into most sports accidentally. If you ask me how many hockey games I watched a year, I probably watched two, two maybe three, right? It's the NHL. Not including playoffs or including the playoffs? I would say including the playoffs. Like, I'm not, I'm not going to sit there for an entire series. I will pop in at the most violent point in a series when I see everyone going insane about it. it right um so like two to three i will accidentally watch two to three hockey games a year i will watch i think at this point i watch four or five nascar races as somebody who was formerly super

into it it's been better lately but i'm highly booked during those times most of the time so point being i'll stumble into a lot of sports accidentally i don't know how you fuckers watch this much college basketball the people who do and i assume there aren't that many of you and a lot of you are just skewing like what I'm seeing representation wise by watching a ton of it. Hey, maybe they're totally depressed. Maybe that. But I don't, I'm just intrigued as to what, this is the long way of me getting to saying, I'm intrigued as to what the NCAA thinks it can get the next time around for March Madness.

If it's the only thing college basketball watches and if that affects it at all, if it exists separately, right? Does March Madness exist as its own? product completely divorced from the actual season, right? Which I think maybe is the honest way of looking at it. The way it's sold told don't we already know that? Yeah, the way it sold tells you that's true because CBS and Turner own the tournament, but they're not the ones broadcasting. ESPN does all the work from shit. Nobody watches. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that feels like long-settled precedent. I think, I think it is, I think it is

getting worse in a way. By worst, do you mean more stratified? Sure. I mean, so I don't know if this is a useful long-term comparison, but a lot of what has come up this year is that people have been watching regular season and conference tournament women's basketball at a much higher rate than they have, like to the point where it's like, oh, more people are watching this and are watching regular season and conference tournament, men's basketball, which is highly unusual.

and but it makes sense given the current like preponderance of big names in the women's game 100% both both I think in terms of players and coaches frankly yeah but I definitely both yeah but I don't think it will matter to Spencer's question I don't think it will matter because the NCAA tournament like we all gave very low answers and we're all probably going to watch a pretty decent amount of the tournament right it's a little bit like saying like are people watching the olympic trials no but they'll fucking watch the summer games watch can mean different things for different people right like especially in the early rounds i have it on you know and i obviously work from home most of the time i have it on and i'm

sure i'm not alone in this as more of a social event than anything else like i'm going to have it on while I'm typing up a newsletter while I'm like folding laundry whatever just because I'm also online and my friends are talking about it right but like does that mean and so like does that mean I'm watching it it doesn't like there's there's there are so many different gradations of what amount of attention this is taking from me like I'm not sitting there in front of the television with my eyes looking at the screen I'm not even looking at the screen most of the time when I'm quote watching like college basketball

I'm usually doing something unless again I am watching Rick Barnes try and kill my father Yeah which is that's his way in life That's what he's supposed to do It's destiny Also I would gather none of the four of us Is doing what a lot of people are doing

We're not gambling on this Oh God now Like in terms of filling out a bracket for money Or in terms of like round by round prop that's I'll take either one whatever. I'll take either one. I don't think are you, you're, you're not bracketeering. No, not this year. Also, like, once you don't work in

an office with people, the opportunities and the insistence on it is much lower. That's the crash and commercial real estate killed the bracket. I just, I just don't. Wait, wait, I just think we're writing that down for a trend story. I was going to pitch that somewhere. You can do that.

Jason, have you explored how thoroughly you could kill in a New York Times setting with getting them all into sports gambling specifically for money? I don't know. Well, college basketball. The tournament feels so unpredictable.

All post seasons are just tricky to bet on. But just in general, have you thought about, well, that should, and while that might prevent you from betting money, should that prevent you from encouraging your colleagues to bet? What I'm saying is you should become a bookie at the New York Times? Sure, yes.

Yeah. He's Jason Kirk, looking to the stars. Just based on their past couple months of output, they seem really easy to fool. They told me to put $50,000 in a shoe box and take it to Jason Kirk, who was going to put it on Colgate in the first round. That was, is that the New York? No, that was New York. Yeah. The other reason why.

that woman had written for the times, right? God, she was so stupid and we forgot her so fast. It's for the best. The other reason why what's going to be different about the next time, I don't even know the next time the tournament contract comes around, I feel like it got re-signed not that long ago. Just like in football, shit's going to be bigger, and that's just going to, that's going to be a ploy to pump the contract up.

Like, by the time we get there, it's going to be 80-some teams or something. The ninth best ACC team will be in there. I just can't wait. Yeah. It's going to be special. I can't wait to get 12 SEC teams in. So much SEC basketball. So the current deal goes through 2032.

But I imagine they'll probably try to expand it before then. Clemson has just sued the ACC. It's going to sue. We would like to negotiate with the tournament separately. You said there's a deal and it's long, so they don't really like that because they don't plan to be around at the time. Rapture. Yeah, you signed this. Yes, that's just a starting point for negotiation.

That was just to get you in the room. I do love this because anyone trying to negotiate with Clemson on anything from now on could just be like, so? Why are we even signing anything? We have to sign a secumet document that says the first document actually counts. No takebacks proviso. My blood packed with Clemson to provide

landscaping services for this football season. Judge Capfish, you can clearly see the no-backseas seal has been affixed. Well, I do observe that.

Your Honor, I was crossing my fingers at the time I signed this dog. Drat! Out-Foxed again. You may notice we signed this on a Wednesday,

which is traditionally opposite day. I do we abide this contract based on no backs there I had my pants on backhords at the signan I love this because it brings back the prospect of teams playing at Clemson like Aretha Franklin had a gig

demanding cash in a bag before they take the field Chuck Barry one two three four Pay me my money Why do you want to know about the NCAA's contract for television are you trying to bid on the on the men's tournament or the women's tournament one day is that worse than buying a bowl yeah that's worse it's worse shit yeah um i do i was also asking because my mom has been on this because um i have been in las vegas for march badness which is a blast it's a great time and even if even a casual would enjoy it yeah it's wonderful i i was

like to do that again at some point it's a great time but um in terms of members of the full cast universe who might be there this year uh my father um aka daddy roland bones um is in los vegas for the tournament oh no why why let's get active let's make some investments daddy needs a new pair of shoes is he is he on strip off strip what's what's oh he's staying on strip He's staying extremely on-stripped. Is he at Caesars? He's staying at one of the Venetian properties. Oh, Lord.

Yeah. You put him there. You put him there, didn't you? I did not. Imagine the light in my eyes that fired up when he said, he said, hey, this weekend, I'm, this weekend, I'm going to be in Las Vegas. It's like, funny thing. Is this for work or did he just like, decided?

This is for work? No, this is for work. And he's going. to Las Vegas for work and just happens to be there over the first weekend of March Badness, which if you've not been, quite the soiree in terms of wagering happening and in terms of guys going and some guys will go there and get a vasectomy and then spend the rest of the weekend recuperating at the sportsbook, which I think is elite behavior. That's incredible. It's kind of brilliant. To be fair, I want to go to Las Vegas to get

surgery kind of proves that you shouldn't be having more children. This is March. It's true. My last March Madness note is this, that who is the This is March guy? John Rothstein? John Rothstein. I don't know if you see. Anyone name a single other fact about this man.

I'm about to. Other tweets, like death taxes, whatever. All of every college basketball joke. Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. Yeah, they are all him. But I wanted to explore. He made it phone like a hive. He might be.

Yeah, he might be a series of nanomachines assembled to one person. I think he's just a series of macros. He might. A soundboard. Yes. You think he's got him on like a Microsoft Word clipboard locked and loaded? Yeah. I mean, it would be a waste of time to type them out each time.

F6, go, go, go. Onions. So he has the series of like extremely dramatic, I am so committed I will die for this shit series of tweets. Locked in. Yeah. Where like it'll be things like a friend of mine had a wedding. I mean, we're familiar with. the boredom of yeah here we go from 12 years ago a friend of mine from college was getting married

his engagement party was final four weekend that seems ideal i was in houston he didn't understand and got angry i missed the party in his wedding but i saw kemble walker lead yukon to a title boom wow wasn't this famously the worst title game because like no one could hit a shot like oh it's not when they're One of the first ones they played in, like, Jerry World or something like that. Yeah, it was in a big-ass super bright stadium, and it just looked like an average Biggie's game. But like everything... Imagine I cannot put myself in the shoes of...

I can put myself in the shoes with some real weird people. I can't put myself in the shoes of bragging that this game meant more to me than my best friend. Yikes. Unbidden as well. Yikes. What a way to own your buddy, though. life is about key decisions sorry sorry jet you thought you meant something really put your pal in in in check yeah that's alpha behavior yeah keep your bitch in check

you mean my friend my best friend who thinks I value we never talk anymore I don't know why on it my wife left me but Kemba Walker didn't come in a kemba Walker was never here either Love you, John. Love you, Kemba. It's got a little wafoo pillow of just the scoreboard. Not Kemba Walker, just the scoreboard. Right. It just says, it just says, college basketball.

It just says, or like a big long pillow that just says, March! Like a body pillow just with letters. You know, and like... Throw a leg over it. It'll warm up eventually. Unlike Charlene. This is March. Don't like that.

I don't like that at all Don't like that at all, no You know who does John Rosting Who's ready to die for this shit He's ready to fuck March Yeah In any hole

Come on down To the March Madness Museum Or you can fuck the banners