Shutdown Fullcast - Fired Coach Draft 2026

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

It's "Which coaches are in fandoms" versus "Is Scott Satterfield a good coach" for the "Is Wario a libertarian" title beltVideo games have aged usKamario Taylor appreciation cornerBizarro Oklahoma, exploredWell we're back to promotion and relegation but society drove us hereNow Is The Hour When We Praise UMassWeek 4 college football schedule, previewedThere is in fact a fired coach draft happening in this episode. We have always loved getting that out of the way in the second hour of the Week 4 midweek showThe Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes, including Fullcast After Dark during football season. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)The Shutdown Fullcast is produced by delicious and energizing Monster Energy Master Chief Michael Ray SurberFullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Christian AshlockWhen they're not ruining the Fullcast, Spencer and Holly write a year-round newsletter over at Channel 6Before the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically anddother worklbum out now!)Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz (new album out now!), and listen to his musings about cycling, music, and other amazing party tricks on PodcasterinoPurchase exclusive Shutdown Fullcast gear at preownedairboats.com, real website, not a trapThrough September 30, all proceeds from our PTKU merch collection will be donated to Alianza Translatinx

I know I sometimes receive commentary for perhaps being a bit ad hoc in the way I do things. And I'm like, I could be much more ad hoc. For instance, I could be Woody Harrelson. You know, like you could do that, whatever that is. I've read an interview, separate interview, where being interviewed in New York, he is just crossing without looking. He's like, he's not like, oh, take the crosswalk. I'm only saying that because, yeah, sure, you might Jaywalk. And you might even jaywalk in New York. Apparently, this was a degree of jaywalking that even the person, the New Yorker writing the article thought was notable and irreg, and irresponsible. Sounds like it worked.

A reckless degree of jaywalking. You know, that's why when we're talking about like, I don't know, man, you think this coach knows this, right? Like when this coach said this, did he know? My answer's no. They didn't like, you know, hey, was he aware of this? The coach is like, if it's outside of football and the coach is like, like for instance, if Kirk Kroop Street says he doesn't know who Ted Cruz is, I call bullshit because, brother, you got spare time. He's not a coach.

Not a coach. Yeah. Right. But if there's a coach and you say, hey man, hey coach, did you hear about that tragic avalanche and subsequent flash flood in Nepal? Like it can be like, coach, if you heard of Star Wars. Yeah. What's a Pat-Awan? That's a real thing that happened.

Yeah. We don't need hypotheticals. We can just ask. I'd be like, I don't know anything about that. I don't know anything about that. Coach, do you know who Ted Cruz is? It was a Mike Backer from Tulane in 1988, if I recall correctly. Why?

Nope, that's a different guy you're thinking of. Wasn't he in white chicks? That's the one movie I've ever seen. Who are the standout coaches who potentially have like some opinions? about random shit like who like my Gilmore girls thoughts like who's the coach that has that about something unfortunately Lane Kiffin has opinions uh yeah like things you know yeah like about vanderpump rules or something yeah i mean he's not we're not really like gonna be able to have a talk about anything pop culturally because i feel like he is he probably has one show he

watches with the kids watches with the girls what about like Pete limbo like that guy that guy probably have some takes about Lord of the Rings. I just have a feeling. I'm pretty sure Pete's a cat daddy. So, like, he's got some good opinions about cats. Oh, okay. I think, like, as a pet. Okay.

So, like, what coaches are in fandoms that aren't sports? That's a thin list. Anybody who's in a fandom that's not sports. Okay, so the weirdest example I know of this doesn't come from football. It comes from basketball. And that is, and it is a, a weird, I mean, I'm not saying he's unexpected, given his generation, given his age, and his predilections. Do you know where I'm going with this, Jason?

The Celtics coach. No, that's a good one, though. Please cite that one after I'm done with mine. Tom Izzo being a huge Kiss fan, like a huge Kiss fan to the point where he dressed up like Kiss, full kabuki makeup and everything for Halloween one year. Like, isn't Greg Sanky a massive U-2 fan? I know he's not coach, but like, I think that's a thing one time. Someone got him going at the podium about you two and he went for an awkwardly long time at an official SEC

event. That's, I could be wrong about this. He did something interesting. That's what? Yeah. Maybe this just happened in the room with us for SEC Radio Network then because Hartzl asked him about it. But I seem to remember like him having thoughts

on eras of YouTube. Like specific thoughts. He said it to be interesting. That's an incredible achievement. Yeah. Probably didn't include it in the show, which is so I know what knows about it. But it was to get him, get him going. Boston

Celtics head coach Joe Mazula watches the town, the Ben Affleck movie. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. And he said he's watched it like four times in a week. It just apparently has it on fucking loop. Okay. I'm sorry. The quote is four times

a week, not in a week, but a week. Like a teenager watching the jackass DVD? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like, like, except that one breakup where you watch 10 things I hate about you, like 70 times and then you're good. Yeah. That's him with the talent. Oh, man.

Who has, who has, who actually, like, I can tell you, I can do a process of elimination, right, working outwards. Like, I am certain that Ryan Day enduring the psychic horror of coaching in Ohio has no escape. No escape. He does not watch anything streaming. Like, he's, he's going to come up in 10 years and say something like, oh, man, did you see Holton catch fire? That show's crazy. And you'll go. Yeah.

Yeah, that's, that's great. Coach, congratulations. Yeah. Yeah. I think that most of these, like any of the successful coaches, especially, there's no chance that there's, I got, I, um, we do church on Sunday. And then that's it to everything. Which means I sit outside church on my phone while the wife takes the kids inside. And then in 30 minutes, I leave the parking lot because even that's too close.

Even when I have the dead malaise over my face for the couple minutes when it starts, I'm just thinking about football. For a lot of them, it's for a lot of them, it's the team meeting that they go to church with. So they'll be like, yeah, they'll do the, they'll do the like. Clemson does the team church thing. We're like, everybody, we all got to go. We got a chapel right here in a football facility. So when I wake up at midnight, because that's when I wake up.

And also when I go to bed, I grind tape for eight hours, go to church for 45 seconds, all of which I spend looking at my phone. And then I go back to doing coach shit that won't matter. Yeah, that's a real thing to just not even do the family church thing. It's just to be like, okay, you take the kids. I'm going with my 105 large adolescent sons. And we're all going to go to a church that is non-denominational and very vague about, We got a sick weight room at this church.

It's like an airport chapel level of specificity, right? It is. We are gathered here today in the name of something or other to say that we are gathered here today. Amen. Let's get to it. It is the church that did not pay for the rights to the church trademark. Yeah. To a higher power of an indeterminate and legally specific.

We are here for the big game of church, which. just to say, can I say this part? Oh, we don't have the rights to that shit. All right. Oh, God damn it. Yeah.

That's, or, you know, they only had their, they bought the rights to one God. Right? They're like, well, we got it on discount. Okay. So to set,

almighty set. Yeah, because wasn't nobody using set for a while. Set was, you know. It's like how you can make a horror movie out of Mickey Mouse and Disney can't sue you now or whatever,

you know? Yeah, the public, the set slipped into the public domain, right? Well, like with gods, It takes about 5,000 years.

Yeah, Jesus is still copyrighted. You've got to be careful about that shit, right? You're going to be real careful with that one. Yeah, server delete this. Apparently not, though, actually. To delete this, by the way, Auburn has the copyright on Jesus, so I'm going to have to go ahead. Shit, I don't want to deal with them again.

What a shrewd maneuver that was. They're just listened. They do something's wrong, but when it comes to the Jesus thing, man, Auburn, one-to-one type. I am, if I had to pick somebody, in the coaching sphere who might actually you need somebody who actually like doesn't give a fuck and a lot of these guys like lincoln riley absolutely not like that's the opposite yeah lincoln riley 100% is is like too uncool and too stiff and too worried at all times as he should be

about his job and i mean they're four and oh right now he should be terrified because he's at USC and the minute that they go five and two it'd be like oh i don't know is there lincoln riley seat because a bunch of guys in like golf shirts and you know blazers on their yacht somewhere in catalina are like i don't know about this guy i mean he did make rutgers look good so i think they have a point how do you how do you win and still lose you make rutgers look good it's a concern but if i had to guess somebody who i'm like i bet he has a great trash tv regimen sunny dykes i bet sunny dykes is like yeah boys that's enough film i think i think the area I definitely feel they're slightly more likely to know something that isn't football.

Maybe that's just that, you know, they all know Mike Leach. Yeah. That's the reason I think that. Yeah. I think they would be like, hey, listen, this is recuperative. This is good. My brain is tired. I need to make sure that it takes a nap by watching the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

You know. Real Housewives of Fort Worth. The real. Hey, some of us. of us were on that reality show if you know what i mean thank you dana yeah i think so the real housewives is still water brother that's my favorite show we had a wild time yeah you know where it was streaming right here live no edits thanks for that detail coach yep right here yeah barbara what a woman

Honestly, this is, like, I just saw it was like for the 23rd week in the row, someone named Ella Langley has the number one song in the country. And like, I'm not doing the whole like, Avatar was a big movie and nobody remembers it, blah, blah, blah. I don't know. It's just like, it's not on my radar. Like, I believe there are lots of people who like this song. It's not on my radar. It makes me feel like a football coach who hears about like something going on in pop culture. Coach to see the Avengers movie, the who?

right that's how I feel when I hear about this Ella Langley song is apparently everyone knows it except me I don't know it man I do I do so one out of three here I mean I have gone to listen to it because I've been like what the fuck am I hearing it all day long and I'm not noticing it or something like oh okay that's a fine song 10 weeks later go listen again like huh yeah that's the I don't know I'm just not encountering it um but anyway it has given me a window into what it is like to be a football coach who has no sense of the world outside the gridiron. Absolutely. Well, also, too, you have to, at one point, by the way, about like, I don't know,

if I'm going to do the math exactly right. At one point, somewhere akin to like 72 years ago, don't, don't figure out why. After a particular court decision, maybe 30 to 40% of this country just decided to have their own country and just split off. So among other things that they've done is that they have this entire sphere of songs that you just don't know. So for instance, I went to the tin roof can'tino once in Nashville, and the sing-along portion of the DJ set arrived. And brother, do you know who was not singing along? This man did not know any of these songs, right?

They're like, you know. And like, this is you as a very country music literate person. So this is a whole other, this is a whole other type of country music that is subdimensional in some way. The charts are like a totally like loaded like the way that that is done. Like there was a time when the chart was based on someone went and bought that shit. And we collected how many people bought it and ranked them. Right.

Yeah. But like now it is so convoluted in the way that like stream like depend the, the dependability of streaming numbers is a whole other conversation. but like spins makes up it too so like anything that's like a country song because of the volume of country radio stations that exist these spins like accumulate at a rate that like does not equate to alternative rock or like rap you know most other genres of music so like for that reason like the the top 10 in the pop charts like damn all this shit is country it's like yeah because every fucking city has three goddamn country stations and they're all sending like

We play, is Ella Langley, I'm betting she's country. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Like they all are playing Ella Langley like 17 times a day. So like she's getting 51 plays in this one city as opposed to like the biggest, I don't know what the biggest rock band because I am a kind of a football coach is. But like whatever they are, they're getting that in five cities in a day. It's kind of like, so like as, you know, for instance, like hip hop stations go away.

Like even here in Atlanta, the capital of rap, yeah, I said it, like we lose rap stations over the decades or whatever. But country stations are insulated from that because, I don't know, their audience is just locked in in that way. Like, it's not like people stop listening hip hop. It's like, okay, now you stream it online. Whereas if you're a country person, hey, radio still works. I don't know. Yes, there is the relevant lesson for our corner of the world, which is if you see somebody with the claimed, you know, like impressions. there's a light impressions are my favorite stat right oh yeah let's juke it i i i i not to cut you off

but i love like it went viral on twitter with 20 million views no it didn't no it didn't no it's that's not you know i mean i know of one very overcompensated media personality whose numbers if you flip them on spotify are worse um i'm going to phrase this more positively the full cast would be outdrawing them on Spotify. And not just their rap album. Yeah. Not just the rap album. I mean other stuff as well.

So these numbers, first of all, and additionally, too, people say, oh, man, you know, they do big numbers on YouTube. Do they? Do they? Like, do they? Number says big. Number says big. Those are certainly all unique humans.

Must be true. Must be true. I can see, must be true. I mean, I think you guys are implying that like these big tech companies, would lie about the number they show in one way or that those numbers would be easily jukeable at at one time or another that one could that one could um that one could you know turn them up or dan as they like that i got i got people on the daily jumping into the dms and the email of my band being like hey let's do this thing let's do this campaign here's prove it like and it's like oh like let me pay you for a clip farm i get it every fucking day. And like, I'm not doing that, but I think a lot of people are fucking doing that.

Yeah. And like a lot of people are going to fall for that, whether it's legit or not. And like some of it is quote fingers legit. Like some of it will make your chart the spot go up. Right. Right. Right. Right. We know that. Like that's been a thing. You know, that's been a thing since before streaming. You can pay someone to make you more popular. We should listen. We should do that for like one week for one episode. For one episode. For like week week 11 preview. Yeah, for like the week 11 preview. Let's get big at Lichtenstein. Yeah.

It could be like, man, these guys are fucking massive in Bhutan. We could get everyone in Lichtenstein to listen to our week 11. Literally, Lichtenstein goes crazy for that week 11 preview. The entire country and everyone in its military will be commandeered by our week 11 preview. Listen, if you could make listening to the full cast compulsory national service for several countries, we're set. We're golden. Sound off if you're a listener in that country. There's no way that we have anybody there.

So you better sound off if you're if I'm lying about you. I'm gonna find our one listener. I saw one time at Olombat or Mongolia. It wasn't me. Like I wouldn't look because you don't listen. Yeah. Why did I do that? I made it. Let's see where the wild ones are like looking at my own shit. I mean like look at it this way. All right. What do we do? Turn the tape, tell the truth, mundane.

Then we're on to next week. That's, you know, we just do drills. Jason and I just sit here and, like, work out each other's pauses. That's what we do, 15 minutes a day. See, we need a little more work on that. We got to drill that. No, I did our purpose. See, I was.

Yeah, okay, good, okay, good. We were attuned. We were riffing. That was, that's some cold train shit. Amazing. That was advanced stuff right there. You were like, you were like, we're trying not to fuck up, so then I fucked up. We are giants.

brother we are giant stepping that's incredible it's like when a you know like Michael Jordan could ever be a coach right because he could never his players you just tell him I don't know be perfect right right so we had to lay down teach tape right whereas Steve Kerr Steve Kerr could coach you know what could Steve Kerr do you're like I can hit a hot three Steve Kerr will say like hey um how about we get the best shooter in the league to hit all his threes he can say that and it works because he has that guy yeah but otherwise Steve Kerr can't say Dre on defend like me that would be that would go bad point being folks numbers are fake that's what you

should you know numbers are fake except for ours except for ours unfortunately ours are completely because we're suppressed ours are suppressed by the government and yeah haters and being too dumb and cheap to actually pay it and uh drakes subreddit yeah oh listen drake's all over this our slash jizzy is suppressing us the war the never-ending war they're still so bad They're still so mad. Are they still mad? They're still so mad at Kendrick, dude. It's been years.

Like, Drake's already moved on to, like, loser life. He's already like, I'll fucking lose her now. Drake's had, like, hits since then. Yeah. But they're still, they're still obsessive. Like, it's one of the funniest places on the internet. Like, it's like working refs who don't exist, right? Like, it's so unfair the way they talk about our boy.

Are you going to change anyone's mind by complaining about it here amongst yourselves it's good that you're here amongst yourselves but that is i think that's a that's a commonality among drake fans is that they believe the refs in life are holding them back and you're like yeah sure buddy that's it that's what's doing it i what i want to say is that yes we are going to pay for views for week 11 for week 11 we're just going to pay for views and then in three weeks we will have we'll have some sort of article in the new york times profiling us as I like, first of all, paying for views on a podcast that we still don't post on YouTube. Like, we'll post only that one on YouTube.

Secondly, I really like the idea of, like, it's 10 years down the road. We're still chasing the highs of Week 11. That's 2026. Still about it, though. Still about it. Why not? What I'm trying to say is that it feels good, shows good, we're having a good time. It's good vibes.

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Gambling thinks that work. Like table games. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, you ever thought about playing Pai Gow on your phone while you're driving? Draft Kings.

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Go Gators. To the shutdown forecast. You are listening to the internet's only college football program. I, I am Spencer Hall, joined this fine Tuesday, Wednesday for you because we broadcast from the future. Jason Kirk. From the past. From the past. And Michael's server, interestingly enough, from the future?

Yeah. Present. Just present. I believe you are farther east than I am. So technically you are in the future. That's how times works. That is how times works. That is how that works.

Just let him have it. North Carolina just rocketing ahead of me at all times. Hell would that be if server was like 40 minutes ahead of us? And then when he drove to the story, came 41 minutes ahead of us. I would just be so frustrated all the time, particularly on after dark. Like, no, stop. Slow down.

That's not what's going to happen. Come back. I like to think you already know. Like you, this is how you already function. You just learn how to swing it, man. You're just like, hey. Yeah. Just let them have this.

Yeah. Well, I do follow. I do, I do subscribe to channel six. So I do have weekly predictions in my inbox every week. That is true. That is true. by the way, with an incredible record that we will talk about in podcast business. Not that that's the purpose of that whole thing, but this experiment is going very, very, very well to the point where I might now have a new religion.

I'm that easily convinced. What does it take for me to convert to a religion if it helps me predict football games? What about, hey, Spencer, candy's really awesome. I want to worship it. Yeah, in. Totally in. Damn it. The apostate.

He got me. Cast himself out. I got you again. I got you again. Damn it. He has betrayed the one true faith. You fool. Oh, hello.

We were joined by Holly Anderson as well. Holly, we were just discussing basically in very broad, general terms that our experiment on channel 6 is going very well it's going very very well the zodiac shit yes yes that it is going very well it was a joke and now it's really funny yes yes also explaining that i may i may have new beliefs in religions now and also i'm not trying i don't know if you mentioned this i am not trying to uh slag off the choice that we made uh but i will say that we our big miss this week was we

missed the Kentucky A&M, but we did pick Kentucky to beat Bama. So, I think that spiritually we were on the right path and that we were early rather than wrong. Yeah. They were on North Carolina time

there. Yep. Yeah, that's got to be it. Anyway, we're having a lot of fun. We're having a lot of fun with that. Jason, you want to talk about drugs? Yeah, usually, man. Like as a huge drugs guy, fucking love him.

Everyone says that about you, big drug. Yeah. John Summerall is a pretty funny guy, like quotatious. Like, it's been a little bit of a while before, like, since the Gators have had, like, a guy who can talk and stuff. An intentionally, how's this, an intentionally quotable coach. It's been a while.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's had a few, like, since he got there. The one this week was he found out, like, during his presser that Florida's favorite, at home over Ole Miss who just had the big huge win of LSU we went to the playoff in the semifinal last year blah blah blah finds out Florida's favored and he says

there must be some good drugs out there which like on the one hand it's like yeah Florida is yeah they're undefeated got a nice road win at Auburn and they were a team a lot of people talked about is like hey they could improve and sneak into the playoff if you know like this might be a 9 and 3 type team or whatever but like it's still a surprise

is like, oh, Florida's ranked all of a sudden out of nowhere. And I think Coach Somerall was enjoying that sense of sneaking up on people, but it's not there anymore. I think most coaches would. I think most coaches love that. Now he's in the awkward position of someone assuming that they're good, and that includes his own players. And as we all know, coaches never address you.

They're always talking to like over a hundred of these meatheads they have to manage every day. That's what he's hoping, right? That they'll hear that. which is why coaches are often fond of interrupting direct answers to your questions with things like, and remember to go to class. They say that all the time. Yeah, because they're never talking to you. They're never talking to me.

Yeah, they're never. Sometimes they'll address you by name. Sometimes they'll be like, and Aaron Philo, you need to work on those red zone interceptions. And you're like, I'm not Aaron Philo. You can work a little bit harder at that, though. I could, though. At being Aaron Philo. I couldn't.

You're not playing college football 27, right? That's one of many reasons I'm not playing college football 27 from my mental health. Remember, Omar Sharif played bridge to the point where when he quit, someone asked him why, and his answer was, because I was tired of being ruled by passion. That's incredible, but that's how I feel about college football video games. I think college football 27, I'm tired of being ruled by spreadsheets. I'm tired of spending. I'm tired of how much time recruiting takes.

There's no passion there. This is what happens when the nerds take over is that they assume that you were playing the sports game because of all of the good data. I don't know. Like, not to talk too much about a game that none of us are playing, but like the football manager type games

or like, you know, there are lots of games that are basically just spreadsheets and there are like lots of sports games that are just management spreadsheets. But like this one, there's so much management and the management sucks. It's not that there's management. It's that it's bad management.

So to be clear, that's the distinction I see in college football 27 specifically. You're not playing it right now either. The game. No. Oh, I'm playing it. I've just resigned to myself that like the thing I used to could do, which was like start off with a shitty team

and like make them better and then work my way up to getting like a cool job. is just way too fucking hard now. So I just like, I like pick a blue blood and do that. So now, okay, you've done that. So you haven't resigned yourself to being like Lance Lipold, right? You're not like, you're not like, no, no. It's just like, okay, well, I'm going to try a few seasons.

And it's, the problem is it's not nearly as immersive of when you like start as Clemson or you start as Florida or you start as South Carolina or you start as Mississippi. Like if you start in a power conference, one of those teams, it's like, okay. And then the second season, I won the national championship. championship. Let's see if I can win three in a row and now like I'm done with this dynasty in year four. So there's no, I have no lore built around college football 27 the way I do previous editions. That makes me sad. Yeah. Because, you know, I missed the lore. It's the guys, right? Yeah. I miss taking my like, you know, two star fullback all the way to like all conference, you know. Yeah. I had a tied in named George Butt and he got, he he got 1600 yards receiving one time. Yeah. This was in 25, yeah, this was in the 25 on Colorado State, and he got 1,600 yards receiving.

And, like, I'll never forget about George Butt, but I don't have a George Butt in this game. It's funny. There's an episode title, I don't have a George But. Like, there's always been that thing where you play a sports video game and you suddenly turn into, you suddenly start talking like a coach, right? Like, this selfish generation, you know, like you start saying all that shit. I play college football. ball 27 specifically and I start talking like an 80 year old who's just like all the players change teams every year like that's how you start talking once like they put in on a video

game and do with all the with all the spreadsheets but like even if it's entertaining but the point is you start talking like a coach all the spreadsheets and the start hissing about getting cute yeah oh listen don't don't get cute oh my god I did actually think that for one second when Georgia line when Florida lined up for that double pass. I'm pretty sure you said that out loud. I was like, oh no, they're getting cute. Just came out of my mouth. I've reached that point where you're like, oh, no, it's a trip play.

The only thing you do is trick yourself. And then they hit like a long completion that led to a score. And you're like, all right, fine. I guess you can let the kids have one every now and then. Some roll, but it's so hard for you. It was so difficult for me. Thank you. I went through that.

I really did. Summerall, by the way, is like a complete surprise so far in a lot of ways. And that's one thing I want to talk about today. We're past week three, and I think we can start safely say some things now that we're like past the point of being totally aberrant. Ready to get your heart broken again? No, not quite. Not quite. Yeah.

No. But it's a situation being monitored. Wait, wait, wait. Are you trying to talk about Florida Gators football? No. I want to talk about others. I'm the one who brought them up. We have rules here.

I know. I'm the one that brought them up. So we're covered it for a short amount of time. Jason, it was a rough fucking scene on Saturday night. I tell you what, I barely held on to the rains. We were in a good mood.

We were all in a good mood. Yeah, it was weird. But that doesn't mean it's okay to talk about Florida. I didn't. No, don't. You're the one talking about Florida. I want to talk about things that surprised me. That's what I want to talk about.

for instance. I know you mean this because you're using your prize picks voice. It is. More. More surprises. We definitely don't hate this. For instance, I am 100% surprised with how much ass UCLA's beating. And many of you don't see this because UCLA is on the night shift.

They do get a 1230 kick this weekend. Very excited about that. But UCLA is a service academy. Yeah. They're running for like... If you looked at... Talk about spreadsheets. Look at the spreadsheet and tell me that's not a service academy.

Those are troops. That's a troop. They are the fifth. The fifth... The most productive Russian attack. Them little shits is troops. Yeah. They, they, like, here's the top three.

Army, Navy, Air Force. Number four, by the way, your Tennessee valls. I don't want to talk about that either. Yeah. Oh. Number five, UCLA. UCLA's outrushing Rich Rod right now. And that's Rich Rod once he read it, once he discovered, uh, the scrap iron quarterback of his choosing and a tiny running back.

Right. What does Rich Rod need? Scrap iron quarterback undersized running or, or, scrap iron quarterback undersized running back and, uh, a defense full of spare parts. Good. That's an eight win team. Listen, it's early. As you said, that West Virginia team can hit. they were mad.

It's disorienting to me also to look at this. They were very mad. They were beating up on Virginia, a team that previously had exhibited serious bully characteristics, and they'd knock the shit out of them. Like, I was not prepared for how nasty West Virginia was, which means that Rich Rod can still get very mad. That's his other superpower.

Rich Rodriguez can get so mad that it seems like clinically inadvisable. It's either his blood or his veins are made of something different. Yeah. I'm trying not to overestimate what we're looking at here because this has been an incredibly satisfying first few weeks. Like, this has been so much fun. And I really don't think I'm just saying that because of everything we had to slog through for the past like 10 months or whatever.

But I, this is a delightful September. I would say, like, each of these three full weekends has been like, at least, at least, you know, average above average overall and in each of them we got like one huge thing right there was michigan western michigan sure it's been nicely organized and then there was ls u.s u.miss and it's very funny that western michigan ranks among those two other games right but like it's all about the culmination and each of these saturdays has ended with a big fucking bang um and then had you know a bunch of wild shit after that but like so far so good on that front i guess i I guess I'm appreciating the quality of the narrative luck that we've had, if that's a thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think also like... The storytelling has been nice. Storytelling has been good. The cast of characters, diverse. I'm very fond that a Mac team has already taken part in a national story. That's great. SEC Champs Western Michigan, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That is true. I'm also like very, very fond of the fact that, that we've managed to rotate different teams. Like, I don't think we made quite enough of,

I don't think we've made quite enough of the fact that our most dramatic game with a team that everybody is, like, leaning towards, you know, ranking number one, old miss. It's old miss. Like, I know, like, we've become a bit inured to that. But that's old miss. Old Miss is not supposed to be good two years in a row, like, period, much less four years in a row.

That makes it even funnier for the head coach of Florida to be like, what you're crazy we're favored over old miss like imagine saying that at any point in the last 40 years that florida is surprised to be favored over old miss right to the point where he would say yeah there's some good drugs out there what do you mean we're better than old miss that's old miss famously inconsistent old miss and you know that's it and by the way totally justifiable statement totally justifiable statement on his part to be like Man, that's crazy. Because that is where we're at.

Additionally, we can also say this. You go, yeah, man, I don't know, like Indiana's just lurking. They're just lurking. We're going to sleep on them. And they're just going to come out and prove once again why they're champs. That's an insane sentence, historically speaking. But that's true. That's where we're at in week three.

I am also surprised that the quarterback I enjoy watching most in the SEC. plays for Mississippi State. It's Camaro Taylor. Camaro Taylor is unreal. Camaro Taylor is so fun. And he has got, he has that kind of arm where he has the kind of arm among professional athletes that most professional athletes have among normal people. If you watch somebody throw something, for instance, like if you watch a guy who played quarterback at any level, throw something, you're like, where did that come from? They'll get, like, ridiculous power from just throwing from their, like, from 10,000.

to two, right? Like just, you'll go, I, what the fuck? How did you do that? Camario Taylor does that among athletes. He throws a crazy fucking ball. The amount of buzz he got like just from the first couple weeks was like, like exciting and impressive because like it felt genuine. You know what I mean?

Like if everyone is hyping like some USC quarterback, it's like, okay, he's a USC quarterback. But for like not just college people, NFL people to say like this quarterback at Mississippi, state is thrilling. That's pretty special and cool. And then he goes to South Carolina and throws four touchdowns. When we're not talking about Camaro, we're talking about Trinidad. Which is also still funny. Ferris state's own, right? Like, again, things we got used to, things we got accustomed to way too quickly. That dude was at Ferris fucking State. He was at Ferris State last calendar year. He was at Ferris State like 16 months ago. Now it's like greatest quarterback of all time. Jaredest quarterback ever.

If the ball's in his hands, he will do something with it. There is nothing that can be done. And they found him because he saw, Charlie Wise Jr. saw his highlights on YouTube. Incredible. That's great. I'm sorry, that sentence alone. Charlie Wise Jr. saw him. That's where Charlie Wise Jr. is, by the way.

This isn't a happy surprise, but like, you know, Oregon being number two, of course, that doesn't end well. But this early, that's a surprise. That's certainly a surprise. Stunning. By way of the state of Oklahoma where, I noticed this today, Chris Vinini every week, he'll rank 1 through 138. Tulsa's gone from, I think, number 111 to number 19, because he had the transit win over Oregon. Is that a lot? That seems like a lot.

About a hundred fucking spots. Meanwhile, Oklahoma preseason top 10 is down at, I think he's got him at 41. So like the whole state of Oklahoma is just inverted. pivoting on the pivoting on OSU mostly but the state of Oklahoma there's your surprise listen full accountability show trial for everyone who was like man Oklahoma that's a top 10 team what what were we why did any of us think that I'm including myself I know I sold myself on like top 15 I was high on them last year and I felt really smart about it right because I was like all right they're they're they're going to have the defense to hold anyone to 20ish points

and John Mateer is enough of a wild boy to score 21-ish. This year I was like, okay, well, the offense can't be as fat as it was. Mathematically, that's smart. So I guess I'll stay high on them. Well, you can't win them all, I guess. Hey, let's talk about my and Spencer's New Mexico Lobos, however, who held that mighty offense to 14 points in Norman. Not a surprise.

Let's see. North Dakota State, obviously not a surprise. North Dakota State is 4 and 0. They've been 4 and 0 every season for the last 10,000 years. But just struttening into FBS like they belong without changing the roster at all. I know I've said this shit. But literally,

they moved up after the portal closed. That struck me as fucking insane and it hasn't mattered at all. I think this should just garner a lot of support for promotion, relegation situation in college football, just like they have in the European soccer leagues. Let's just start doing this. In the NIL era, I don't think it's going to be nearly as hard to make the step up from like big sky to fucking mountain west. I just, I don't, I guess I just don't see that as not that much of a lateral move anymore.

Especially when like Trinidad Shambliss was at fucking Fair Estate and Cam Ward started an incarnate word. Like, there's a new pipeline of like, plenty of you dudes go to these schools that are really good. What if you're just like, hey, Ferris State, we'll give you $10 million in roster money and you got to play an FBS next year. And they have Trinidad, right?

Yeah. Well, according to Sacramento State, they may make $574 billion dollars from that. Sacramento State is an argument against money being able to cure all your problems. Hey, no, no, no. Spreadsheets going to bear that out, Jason. Any year now. Any minute now.

It's happening. I am, I love server. I love that note because it also reminded me that we're going to have to do relegation a little differently. For instance, leagues that are larger will have to give up more teams, which is why I'm very excited about the idea of the Big Ten, who I think, yes, the more money league, yes, the top two in that league will always probably be either at par or better than the best SEC teams. But the bottom five teams in that league could all be relegated, all of them. Just take like the bottom four or five and swap them up.

Maryland, by. Obviously, it is morally, well, they're in the ACC still, but like obviously it's morally correct and good for no college football conference to be bigger than 10 teams. You need to all be playing each other nearly every year at very least. Yeah. Ideally every year. So, Big 10, damn, you're going to lose like 36 teams in order to get down to 10.

The mega Big 10 is what I'm going for. So many Purdue's. Yeah. No, he's legend. That's, that's my, that's my airport think piece book, right?

Like Spencer Hall. Author of A zillion Purdue's. The new path of college athletics and a flying. So powerful. It's the most pointless thing. I'm going to beat my own ass just for saying that in that voice. Okay. Man, Patchett.

Yeah. That's right. Malcolm Sadwell. That's me. Oof. Yeah, that's, I, I am also, by the way, you mentioned North Dakota State. I'm thrilled that North Dakota State came up to this level. And you're like, so did you change anything you did like on the field?

Nope, shit, no. No, what are you running? Wham? Run a counter tray. We got like six tight ends who we found on a farm. Yeah. They all play at once. I have like five jug-headed, very excitable farm boys with really quick feet who all love to

eat Panda Express orange chicken until they swell to 330 pounds. We're using all of them. Did you bring in a bunch of like power four washouts and like D2 all Americans? No. No. We have the same roster. We brought in Todd. Meet Todd.

We have five Todd's. Yep. And Todd loves countertray. Todd. All fucking day. Last name full of umlots. Yeah. Todd's burning sour girt and fur.

Yeah. He's, listen, you can't say his name, but you'll recognize the face because it's going to be the one running you over. The unpronounceable one. Yes. I love North Dakota State. Like Roger, Roger came out as we as like, oh, that's a playoff team. And I'm like, I mean, they're in great. They're in great.

But like, the number of us who have circled North Dakota State, New Mexico a few weeks from now as pivotal. It's one of my most fucking anticipating. games. Again, these are the wizards. The Wizards of the Big 10 circling that and going, this means something. Look at that. The Wizards of the Big Ten are like the winner of that team can replace Purdue. Yeah, Purdue, you're on notice.

Perry Odom's like, I'll jump ship, whatever. It's fine. Lord willing. I know, like, Virginia Tech, you'd think like, you know, they haven't faced a whole lot, but like, it feels pretty good. This is a pretty good feeling, 3 and O. Like, old Dominion, that has not been guaranteed out for them at many times.

It's been pointed out many times. It's the funniest winsopedia page in all of college football. O'DU wins that shit all the time. Got the win there, got the win at Maryland. That's an ACC win. That's pretty good. And then you look ahead. All right, at BC, Pitt, Cal, Georgia Tech, Clemson.

Like, you could probably win most of those. Maybe all of them. Listen, we're looking smooth. The James Franklin thing was never. Smooth. That's his head, man. The James Franklin was never that you weren't going to win. The James Franklin thing is like, hey, man,

we're going to stock up on those easy. wins. We're not losing the easy games. Yeah. And guess what the ACC doesn't have? Hard games. You're good. You can meet 10 and 2 and 11 and 1 at Virginia Tech like every year, which is what can easily happen.

He'd fucking be there forever. Why would you ever fucking leave? Build the statue. Build the statue, man. He's got to lose to Miami. He's going to lose to Miami every fucking time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, like the number of VT fans, and like, you know, I'm a, I'm a defender of James Franklin's on field performance. However, I will say this, the number of focus fans that winning came aboard were like, shit, we'll take 10 and 2.

That sounds awesome. All right. Say that in five years after five straight, 10 and 2. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You will get spoiled. This is the thing. Right, yeah, yeah. When you hire James Franklin, this is what you actually are paying for.

You are paying for a moment in five years where you go, I mean, these are nice sheets. but that thread count could be a little higher. Couldn't it? Like, that's what you're paying for eventually being spoiled. Another surprise, and this one is legitimately very big surprise to me, is Utah. Obviously, I did not expect them to lose to Arkansas or Utah State, but the dominance that they have exhibited has been downright Whittingham-esque,

whereas Michigan has had none of that. In, like, various computer ratings, it's like Utah's like way but like wherever you look Utah's better than Michigan just like significantly better than Michigan and that's with Michigan taking like Utah's assistants you know some of their best talent like Utah's still Utah and that is surprising to me they lost a lot of offensive linemen that's surprising beating the shit out of people by the way the continuity there of course is like not just their defensive coordinator who was promoted a head coach Morgan Scali, but also Devin Dampere, who is one of my favorite,

and I still maintain underrated college quarterbacks because he's essentially a triple option quarterback, like, but if you, you know, expanded his range a little bit, right? Like, operate within a 15-yard radius. That's what Devin Dampere does instead of just doing all the handoffs at the like two-yard range. Devin Dampere's awesome. Joy to watch. Really fun.

Not like those people got any less mean overnight once. once Kyle Whittingham went to Michigan. Like snow, still nasty. Nasty as fuck. Every last one of them. I am also extremely pleased with a team I thought would immediately fall off the map because I have seen it happen before. USF. USF's three no, man.

I did not. And I don't say that to be like, huh? Potential national title contender USF? They've been number two before. Yeah. Don't get me fucked up. Okay. That's, that's not what I'm.

saying here, okay? But I am saying they've beaten FIU, they've beaten army, an accomplishment, and they've been in Delaware State. I thought they would lose like two of those. I thought they would be that bad immediately because the bottom there is always right there. So a little three and oh there. Very pleased with you. Nice job. I don't believe that I have praised three and oh, UMass. I know I praised one in O UMass and two in O UMass, but it is now time to pray. Week four is here. It is time to praise three and O UMass. Weekly, UMass. Weekly, UMass. Mass appreciation time. They have three wins by multiple scores.

One of them was at a Big Ten team. Who is one of the various produce. But three wins by multiple scores. The number of seasons in their FBS era in which they didn't get three wins at all, I could have looked that up already, but it's not many. Let's just put it that way. They haven't been three in their entire 15-year FBS history. And they weren't even really doing that in the latter years of their FCS history.

Yeah, last time they were three-no was 2007, I believe. right around there, yeah. And like, that, you know, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that means there's several FCS years where they weren't pulling this off. Um, they got Sacramento State next. And it feels insane to say, but you, you, you know, um, it looks more like an FBS team than UMass. Let's put it that way. And that's fucking crazy. Yeah. But by the way, you can joke about that game all you want, even if they managed to lose the UMass. Sacramento State still making $30 million off that. him alone 30 million dollars i think it's incredible how 150 000 people are going to be in attendance for that UMass game at sacramento state listen the money like we would have we would have been fools not for taking the deal so it's sacramento state i mean like you know the end of the year when you see like the most watch tv broadcasts chart um it would be like super bowl um football football football the oscars say oh there's college football there's college football there's college football well there's Sacramento State.

SAC State. NFL, NFL, Sacramento State. NFL, Sacramento State. You're going to see. You're going to see the numbers. The numbers were real all along. Every fucking time.

I am also in terms of surprises. And again, I am now not doing this to recognize necessarily the quality of the program. What I am doing is I am doing what I'm here to do, which is to set up some giggles down the path. Okay.

And it's this. We have a thing every year. We're Scott Satterfield at Cincinnati. Pivots to one side and either makes everyone real happy. I think he's turned the corner. Or makes everyone real sad. One happens and it's never quite in the same order. Right now, since he is 3 and O. How are they 3 and O?

That's not important. No. What? Home wins over Boston College and FCS team and the other Miami aren't doing it for you. The other Miami. So of their upcoming games, the number in which they will be favored is probably one. That be Colorado at home.

Yeah. Haters, you should believe. Scott Satterfield's got this. So from 3 and 0 to 4 and 8 is possible. The numbers might say maybe more like 5 and 7. Regardless, I think you're totally correct. We have a Scott Satterfield season here. And then what happens?

This is the beauty of it. Ferocious inferno of a hot seat. start next season 7-0 before the collapse, right? Right. It's like, oh, well, it's too late in the carousel. We're stuck with him for another year. You know, if you guys aren't careful, he's going to start looking for other jobs. He will.

You might just leave with Colorado. Listen, you better tie that boy down, all right, because. Because you want him. Let me tell you what. See Scott Satterfield's ass walking down the street. The ladies come out. And they're like, woo, give me a piece of that. Sure do.

yeah that's we're just I'm just pointing out that you go man is he saying Cincinnati's good no I'm saying they're funny they're about to set up they're about to set up one of my favorite running gags in college football which is is Scott Satterfield a good coach forum thread closed after 12,000 pages like this was oh shit we forgot to do the fired coach draft this year fuck I'll take Scott Satterfield anyway I had him I had him last year and I felt awesome about the pick and I And then they started like 5 and 0, and it was like, oh, sell, sell, sell. We could do it now right at the end of conference play. It wouldn't be completely inappropriate. Everybody's undefeated still, basically. I love doing that without like setting up any sort of a... Let's go. Do you want to just take three?

We can each take three right now. Starting right now. Right now, no. Who goes fired up? Lightning round. Who goes first? No, you just did. You took Scott Satterfield, right?

Fuck! I didn't want to take it. I'll give you. I'll give you a chance to take another one. You can take another one. Mike Norvell, thank you. Okay. All right.

Jason, by picking Scott Satterfield has chosen Mike Norville. I'm never taking Satterfield again. Yeah. We're each going to do three, okay? And we'll score it the same way we did last time, right? Okay, I'll start writing this down. Okay. Jason will be our scribe.

Okay. I am the court jester and coordinator here. Holly, you are picking next by virtue of being diagonally across. from Jason and server will be third and I will be fourth. Let me see Belichick. Nice. Okay, Belichick. Serber, your number one pick. I was going to do it again, Kaelin DeBoer.

Nice. Double down. Sticked your guns. They don't want him there. Like, he's doing everything he can to stay, but they don't want him to be successful even. He was trailing Mike Norvell by 18 at home. I know. Before Zeus showed up. We aren't looking at the schedule yet, but this weekend, I don't know. That is, that's pretty strong. I, oh, man, I got to find something.

Hey, I got it. Here we go. Ready? Big G. Greg Schiano. Ooh, that was going to be mine. Very nice. Yeah, Greg.

He was pulling some immaculate faces on Friday night last week. I thought he was going to bite the ref. I really did. Like, he came very close to like not, he didn't look like he was going to punch him. He looked like a man who really wanted to take a chunk out of him with his molars. It was like, there's a thing when someone's yelling, we say like he's really barking and it's usually a figure of speech. Like, no, no, no. No, no.

Dude was barking like a wild dog. So, yeah, he would be my pick. Jason, you get the first. We're not doing snake order? We can do snake order. Okay. I get to pick via snake order. My second pick in terms of next fired coach, I'm going to stay in the region and choose Fran Brown at Syracuse.

Oh. The big dog. I like Frant, but I think that's it. Just get Fran Brant, get Fran like closer to home, like off of Mars. I think it'll be fine. Get him out of Canada. Yeah. Server.

I think I'm going to go with Brent Venables. Wow. Wow. Now the defense is really, really good. Let's not get ourselves, but like, they could really stub their toe through our rest of this season. They just extended him. Yeah.

And? But they're not broke. They got so much money. I just don't think it. Listen, I did not. I want to be fully transparent here. I did not get on board with the Oklahoma might be good train when it was smart to do so.

And I'm going to tell you, it's not because I was right or canny or lucky. That was pure hating on my part. Serber, if you didn't take him, I was going to just out of spite. Like the narrative, on this guy's about to, I mean, now I might have just done a great favor

for him by picking him and now he beats Georgia in Texas in back-to-back weeks, but I think the opposite of that is going to happen. And then, like, they have a losing record through that part of the season. They haven't beaten any team that's like, got a pulse. I don't know if he survives it.

They got to fire this coach, they just keep extending. This is, man. Man, then it would be a shame if he had to go somewhere else. to be a bunch of the coordinator again. I see the scheme. I see what you're putting together here. I'm going to go ahead and let you make your next pick too.

Just go ahead and give Cerber his second pick and we can complete that little docy dough. Holly, you're next. Man, Serber really did take my next pick. So I'm going to take another pick. Okay, I got two options here. I have a pure, pure hater pick based in nothing but the hate in my heart. And I have one that I think looked incredibly unlikely. few weeks ago, but I think is genuinely on the board, given who we're talking about.

Which one do you guys think I should take? A or B? Uh, I, I would go genuine here because Hater feels like it might be there in the next round. Okay, yeah. Just based on those descriptions. I don't think Silverfield's off the board. No, I don't think you know. This is so fucking weird.

I don't think he's off the board. It is so bad there. This is a fucking revolt. I was not on board with Alex's whole thing with that guy. at Memphis, but Jesus, this is weird. I think this is, I think that's on the board because of how messed up whatever is happening behind the scenes. Yeah, I take no pleasure in reporting this.

Like, I don't, I don't have the feelings for that guy that, that, that, that, that Kirsch does, but good God. Yeah, I just think that's a situation where it's very weird. Maybe he inventables can just switch. That would be fine. I'm not really, I'm not really kidding. Sooner's. Sound off.

Sound off. If you like that idea. The Arkansas Homo Concord. We just went, met at the state line and, you know, let these motherfuckers switch. Who says no besides everybody? Yeah, exactly. If every, hey, in any good deal, both sides have to lose something. Do you know how much Arkansas fans would love this, though, because you would give them at least half a good football team.

Be like, man, that defense? Suddenly we're good at one thing. Fun for them. They'd love that, too. They'd be like, real ball. 10, 7. 10, 9. Don't even care which numbers are as long as one of them is 10.

Keep them low. We're burning out light bulbs at the stadium on the scoreboard. Yeah, I think that's a real good pick just because I don't think I've ever heard. I haven't heard this much shit happen this early to a coach ever. Like week two doing the like, they're going to have to kill me to get me out of here thing. And like in a and not in a I am winning so much way. This is our case. Okay.

Week three, like, bags on heads and, like, boycotting and like, Jesus, fuck, man. Yeah. This is, like, great time, by the way, to plug the Hogrenomicon episode, because I'm not going to say we saw this coming, but go listen to our three-hour Arkansas history episode. And then you'll understand what we mean when we say, even by Arkansas standards, this feels like a lot. That's, yeah, we did foresee this coming. Yeah, Patreon.com slash shutdown forecast. I mean, the only, all of the back story. The only program I know of that, you know, fired a coach after losing to the Citadel, right, mid-season.

The only school is, like, multiple coaches who've left for Clemson before, like, modern Clemson. Yeah, before Prime Clemson. Clemson Prime. Who is next? I have two picks now. The first will be one that makes me feel glad that we waited until week three to do this. I don't know if this was a coach who 72 hours ago I would have picked

really at all but there was a specific moment on Saturday Uh-oh, are you picking mine? Uh-huh I think he's been there for I think this is this 14th season 500,000 years he's lost exactly

four games for each of those years That's what, 2 million losses I don't know what the CW will do without Dave Doran, but... It's his 14th season. He is 15 and 15 in his last 30 games. It's the most NC State shit imaginable. Perfection.

And like both the losses, in totally different ways, both the losses this year are just hideous. Like, you got trampled by Virginia to such an extent that we're all like, oh, Virginia, toughest team in the country. We over-indexed heavily on Virginia. And then veteran quarterback did like the brain-breakingly silliest thing I've maybe ever seen a football player do. I cannot blame that just on the veteran football player. No.

Like I want to know what the entire chain of command had to say about that moment. You know what I mean? Like, oh. By the way, lest you think we are being careful and couching our speech, it's because we know that words on this show have real power. No one has any reason to remember what happened in the last. last week's show. But last week in this space, we did talk about how, you know, just as there's a race for the top of the college football pecking order, there's also a race to be team 138. And we plotted NC State in that moment as the precise midpoint. And I believe it was Jason who said,

college football is really a race about how far in one direction or the other you get from NC State. Well, Dave Doran, you're about to be a winner in that race. Yeah, you're about to be very far from NC State. I have two ACC teams that I've taken so far. It's looking like it's going to be an ACC heavy year there. Belichick and Fran Brown also taken by y'all. We're going to stay in that conference. Mike Loxley had a very bad loss on Saturday. James Franklin coming back to town after 15 years away and year one just effortlessly beating Maryland. that like, you know, the cell is like recruiting, recruiting, recruiting, recruiting, recruiting. It's got the roster, just wait, just wait, just wait, just wait, and it's not here.

And like, by all the accounts, loves that job and is, you know, done as well as anyone could. So it's really not even an assessment of the quality of the job. It's just an assessment of like, you can't lose like this. Yeah, can't that's, it just hasn't happened. I think we're at that hasn't happened and won't happen portion of the programming here. And I do feel kind of bad about that because Loxley, in a lot of respects, this has been sort of a redemption arc. for him both on and some all both often sometimes on the field um but also on the other hand he's then paid a lot of money to do it's like you know you wouldn't say like if any coach

could win there it'd be him because like you'd say okay well i don't know just put nick sabin and it'd be but like if there is no coach who would like rather win there who would have a more thoughtful plan on how to win specifically there you know like a coach more attuned to winning at maryland but it hasn't happened Holly, you're next. Drink wits. Hell yeah. Get his ass out here.

I'm sorry. From three. I am who I am and I have hate in my heart. Sorry. Fuck him. Fuck that guy. Get his ass out of here. Fuck him.

Get him out of here. I don't want to look at his stupid fucking head anymore. With cause. Jason took both of the people that I was considering. I'm pivoting to Dave O'Rand. at Baylor. Wow. Because like...

He lasted a long time here. He's, yeah, he... Both in this draft and at Baylor. And at Baylor. Like, he's another guy. He's 500 currently. He's under 500 in Big 12 conference play. He, I mean, they have the one,

his second season, right? They went to the playoff. Or, yeah, they went to the playoff, right? But since then, it's been really bad. They have one winning season since going to the playoff. it's time probably server just looking ahead the end of the year the latter half of their schedule includes four road games kansas and ucf okay not the hardest however um also got to go to b yu uf got to play texas tech whof and got to go to your senior day yeah you get Texas tech

on senior day that's not going to feel good those last three games are just that might be it the fucking butt bowl might do him in the yeah i don't think he can i don't think i don't know that i get any points for him early in the season, but I'm going to get something for him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just remind people of the scoring system, the earlier the firing, the greater the point value. Oh, man.

So I can't. Our final pick. I was going to say dabble Sweeney here just to get like, just to stand it up from like the logo. You're going to feel awesome. It's not going to happen. But they're not going to fire him. You're going to feel awesome.

So I need somebody who's fireable who I think has completely lost it. who just can't. Wait, we haven't taken Scott Satterfield. Nope. That's because I'm not. He survived again. No, no. He's a survivor.

He survived this exercise inspired by his survivability. Yeah, no, I'm not taking him. What? I'm not betting against double, I'm not betting against double S here. All right. Old super sport there is going to make it through again. That s is, yes.

And he loves it there. Yeah, yeah. So big box Chevy's living. He's surviving this man. I am. Keep the hay train rolling. What about Sark? I got somebody better

because I think he's lost I just think he's like lost it and you know how when you come back it's never quite the same can't really go home again yeah I'm going to go ahead and say it Scott Frost Day

Scott Frost Day yeah they're two and one right now but that is a very unimpressive two and one they had a little bit of a time with Georgia State with Georgia State UCF should never have a bit of a time

with Georgia State Georgia State is not awful anymore, but they're not that good. Yeah, yeah. Also, I'm just going to put this chip on the table. If I could see any coach being run out for on the field things, and also other, I'll just put other. Chip. Does he go home to Nebraska?

Did he leave some stuff there? Maybe. Did he have a storage unit? He just bounces back and forth forever. Yeah. But yeah, there's my long shot. I'm just going to go ahead. But my long shot, but like we're done one with one done with a pretty fair amount of confidence.

I'll just say confident long shot. Scott Frost out at UCF because you can't go home again. So in this completely impromptu, three weeks late fired coaches draft, I ended up with Mike Norvell, Dave Doran, and Mike Loxley. Strong. I feel fantastic. I think you're three for three there. Holly has Bill Belichick, Ryan Silverfield, and Eli Drinkwitz.

Honestly, like the first two are like, go, that's tenuous. And then third is like, that. That will be the biggest crowd pop if it happens, right? It probably calls that one. It felt worth it for me. Yeah. I would like it so much that I almost burn my second pick on it. I love that you, I love that you're just manifesting.

That's great. And then Serber swinging for the fucking fences. Yeah, man. Brinventables. And then, and then after, after, you go hard. You still want a safe pick. You still want to bank something, right? So he's got Dave Miranda.

Yeah. I like the values that we're actually on Fran, Brown, Scott Frost. I mean, And as a Fran Brown fan, seeing him grouped among those other two, it doesn't feel good. That has much less to do with Fran Brown than it does with the institution of Syracuse. Yeah. I would let Fran Brown crotch anything.

Like, here's how to fix a tire. Thank you. Friend Brown is the man for this job. Here's how to properly fillet a fish, right? Fran Brown will show you. And like, yeah, here's how to recruit five stars to Georgia. you know there's nobody you trust more there aren't any of those guys up there so bring it's cold up there man once you come back down yeah it's cold up there man once you come back

down and better get why don't me just server slipping me at 20 as I say this why don't you just join clinton staff yeah db coach fran brown Mike reed get the fuck out of here dude yeah come on I've seen what you'll do it's a whole lot of nothing get fran brown in there set some fires he already won an acc championship for us yeah bring bring the funk with Fran Brown, come on. And with that, we conclude the completely impromptu fired coaches draft. Yeah. I'm glad no coaches have been fired already

because they would feel kind of late, but we did it. What time is it? Ryan Silverfield may be gone. Yeah, shit. You know what time it is? It's time for podcast business. Podcast business. What's a business? Podcast business. It's a business.

Podcast business. Eli Drinkwit's on your TV because he lost his job and he looks real weird in his pants. still don't fit. If I look up and like that dude is like and we go to Eli Drinkwitz for the fucking commentary dude. Oh no. We don't. Oh God. What have I done?

I thought everybody looked cooler in a pair of Jordans and then I saw him and them. Here's the Eli drink with Frankets to talk about like American history. No. No, I don't think so. I can't quite describe this correctly. He doesn't look young in those shoes but he looks like he's on

21 Jump Street as like the guy who didn't get picked to go to the high school. Yeah, he makes me wish Hakeem Elijah won and Charles Barkley and Patrick Ewing had won more championships. I wish Sam Bowie became a thing. Yeah. Let the Sonics have one, man.

Come on. Yeah, come on. Give it to the glove. By the way, how cool are you, how cool are you if you can walk in? They're like, what's your nickname? The glove. That's cool in any profession.

If you mean an accountant, and he's like, my nickname's the glove. the glove. We look sick. Speaking of things that were super cool decades ago, as Holly mentioned, on our Patreon, we have a lot of stuff about Arkansas football. We did a whole deep dive into the history of that accursed program.

Patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast. We do that and we do after dark. And we try to get the after-dry episode up nice and early Sunday morning for whenever you want to listen to it. And that's on our Patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast for only $4 a week, month, sorry. The price of the bricks going up. No.

No. It's not that bad. $4 a week would be pretty good. Unless you want it to be. You can give that to us if you want. Yeah, you can. We will invest it wisely. I don't want to listen to it.

I'm forgetting to mention that. There is a, you can't pay us more in $4 a month if you want. If you want to do it Charity Bowl style and pay us a score. If it would entertain you to do that, it would entertain us as well. Yeah. Were you recently given a massive estate from a relative you didn't know existed? and are worried about the potential curse and or complications of a mysterious benefactor

controlling and monitoring your entire life and puppeteering you into a different destiny than the one you chose. Same. We'll take that for you. We'll take that curse. I don't give a shit about curses, man. Yeah.

Bring it on. We will be the great sin-eaters of your great grandpa's money. Yeah, we will happily do that. Speaking of another thing we'll happily do is wear clothes by home field apparel, which, of course, as you know, is the industry leader in top-knit vintage college collegiate apparel made by a more true college football fans homefield makes the

most premium apparel on earth they do you think this other shitish premium I'm sorry no say goodbye to low effort design cheap quality all that nonsense because our friends at home field design and research everything from the fit and fabrics to the vintage logos make standout gear that defines your game day homefield just launched there can't miss kickoff line this August to style your game day but can't miss kickoff isn't over yet the homefield team is on tour around the country to college campuses on the can't miss kickoff tour presented by Modello this week they are headed to Georgia um I'll be sure it had on see them look for the details

on their social especially the new events page home field IRL if you can't stop by you can shop the very best game day apparel for your team now with home field and let them know the shutdown forecast sent you as you know that that happens quite a bit but still let them know take 20% off your first purchase with code fullcast 20 at checkout that's fullcast 20 no spaces at checkout at homefield app or on the homefield app because the home field is the official outfitter. Adam made up a new word there, but it was supposed

to be outfitter. Of the shutdown full cast. Outfitter, usually they give you like canoes and dry goods for expeditions. I don't want any canoes. I want shirts with cool animals on them. I would buy a premium. Yeah. Homefield. Eat shit Prada.

Yeah. Premium clothing. You are listening to my voice. If you're like, man, that's a great voice. What if, what if he wrote too? Well, guess what? Holly and I've and we put it on a newsletter called Channel 6. Channel 6 is our two things a week promise to you. Only the finest college football writing, only the finest writing period.

We're really fucking good at it. You should listen to it. Every week we do the top whatever, which is where we rank exactly what we wanted to. Three thousand words, BAM! Straight to the dome in the inbox. You can read that, enjoy it. I have a lot of things in there, particularly about how you can find out how Old Miss absolutely okie-doked LSU with the game on the line.

the line. Every football game comes down to a game of Got Your Nose. And Lane Kiffin was like, whoa, no, he's got my nose. You can read that entire thing in the top, whatever, and other things. By the way, we're doing, we're pulling up star charts for games. We're using the Zodiac to look ahead this year. An incredible record thus far. Not the intent of the experiment, but an incredible record. Holly works. I mean, the experiment was to see how many we could win just based on the star charts of the stadiums where the games are being played. Yes, and how are we doing? We're 16 and 6.

Yes, 16 and 6 thus far, using only the stars as a guide. They were right. Gambling content is fun, actually. Yeah, yeah, sorry. That's it. And you can get that and more, including our pre-game show on Saturday mornings. We had Dominique Foxworth on last week. It was really fun.

This is a very long one, but I'm this convinced that we are awesome and that you should give us $10 a month for just two things a week. Channel-6.ghost.io. Folks, come on down to the until Saturday newsletter that I do at work until Saturday, if you want me to pronounce it non-southernly. It is a newsletter about college football. This time of here is three times a week, Sunday mornings as well, which is the one that people most email me to say a good job about. but also Tuesdays and Thursdays. Thursdays includes the ugly-ass schedule guide that some of you continue to ask where it is.

It's at the until Saturday newsletter. I'm starting to realize who's skipping podcast business. Yeah. Not mad, just hurt. I mean, you know. That is a good point. Like I think anyone who asks me, I'm like, I think I know what you do and do not listen to.

See, folks, there's valuable information here in podcasts. Oh, I've heard it all before. Well, have you? Have you? Hey, you know what? I'm going to say this just as we're going to go ahead. I'm going to pause Jason. I'm sorry, I have to do this very quickly.

Jason works for the athletic. He works for the athletic. And he has on the shutdown full cast. All right. Station unification. Holly and Cerber and I do not work for the athletic. Nope. Did people ask you about it?

No. Yes. Yes. We do not work for the New York Times. I can prove it. by saying this, Brett Stevens can get a fucking brick to the head. Okay? I can say that.

Jason can't. He does not endorse that opinion as a New York Times employee. Fuck him. Anyway, we don't work. We get, it's, it's been, I, maybe it's because we have so many new people. Maybe there's a good reason this season. Not fuck Jason, right? No.

I think this was on after dark. Like last week, week before last, we, uh, Channel 6 has been around for five years. We celebrated our five years. anniversary earlier this year. We got an email from somebody this month saying, hey, I've been paying for channel 6 for a really long time

and I never get full castor Phantom Island content here. And we're like, no, no you don't. I didn't write back to this person because I did not know what to say. What? Where do you think we... Sorry, anyway. Yeah.

That is the case. Channel 6 is Holly and We did used to all work together and we don't anymore and that's not our fault. Yes. You might have heard. In conclusion, we do not sleep in stacked bunk beds in the same room. That does not happen. Just a room full of Ernie's.

Yeah. Goodnight, Bert. However, we are all in Serber's rock band. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny that you say that Spencer, because one of the things I say on the first day of class, when I'm like reading the syllabus is I remind the students that

I don't this is it's not Hogwarts and I don't live at the castle that is the community college because I've had student before I used to give this spiel I had students like email me at 1145 at night

when they had class at 8 o'clock the next morning and I was not teaching it and be like hey I left my headphones in the studio can you grab them for me and you're like let me grab the marauders map and let's

like your fucking campus gargoyles yeah what are you talking about you gotta get around the ghosts yeah Killer Ants is a cool band I'm in it we're playing music all the time specifically October 17th of the den with cogs

and the stray lions so excited about that show probably our last Killer Ant show of the year so you better see this one you better see this one you better you better get on a plane uh i was just i was actually just uh thinking about if you've listened

to killer ants how cool you are essentially this is like if it was 1967 and you had heard the velvet underground you're like one of those very few people that that got that were in on that so just know that like 30 years from now this is really going to pay off and everyone's going to realize how cool you are besides me but for now i just want to let you know if you've listened to my band you're cool. Also, Phantom Island. Show to support the podcast I produce and listen to Hand in the Dirt and Podcast

Torino, two podcasts that I do. Yeah. And I believe that concludes. Podcast Business. It's time to look at the schedule. Yeah. Hell yeah. Look at the schedule. First, we're going to zip past Thursday, Liberty Coastal, you know,

whatever. You know what to do. Friday. And we're going to zip ahead to the last game here Friday I gotta get so we have this new tradition where we we look at East Coastish teams who find themselves up way too fucking late and I I didn't realize this was looming I didn't realize we had the best one of the entire Friday night Clemson what in God's name are you doing at UC Berkeley a 1030 p.m. kickoff on a Friday night This is, this goes back to last year when Bill Belichick was in this spot. North Carolina in I think the same week was kicking off at fucking 10 or whatever on a Friday night.

The UNC lost that game, mind you. And Clemson, Clemson, Clemson, Clemson, Clemson, you're fucking lost, man. This is, help! You shouldn't be anywhere remotely near this. Help! Clemson should have been able to opt out of this like, those parents whose kids don't want them to take sex ed this is like if if this game was kicking off it eight that'd be too much it's 10 30 i got church in the morning don't not no nothing good

happened after midnight berkeley bitch get ready to learn drum circle nothing good happen after midnight that includes clemson you got hacky sack in the morning cow's favorite they have the best yeah they have the best quarterback in the ac cc they should be They're in the ACC in case anyone didn't notice that. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. If you're learning that from us, let us know. And don't, don't lie. It won't be funny if you like. I want neither to hacky nor sacky. So that's what we got Friday night.

Before that, before that. That's your you done lost game of the week. A little satanic knitted orbs. So like that is happening at 10.30 at night Friday. All right. Let's roll back to 4 o'clock Friday afternoon. When rush hour in and

around Philadelphia. I sit around I don't give a shit where a campus is Army Temple is kicking off at 4. It's so fucking early. At 4? Eastern? Yeah. No.

Huh. No. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. What network is that on? It's on ESPN. What? So you got on a fucking Friday, you got 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. for no reason where they just like let's ensure nobody sees this

that's one p.m on the hey if you're on the west coast there's your lunch break I guess this is all this is ESPN's lead in to Navy UAB obviously so when you have a game that big you went one before it and ease people into it yeah well they know they won't have to slide the kick time

because the army army will play this game so quick yeah that's true this game will be over at like this is a two and a half hour yeah it's a two hour game this is now an American conference doubleheader by the way. Both service academies are one and one and both their opponents are one and two. Four o'clock. That's going to be done before dessert. Yuck. That's incredible, man. Who knows, man.

Same night, by the way. Just keep in the night. Just some real violence to look forward to that night, though. I can't believe the weather for Berkeley. Certainly, it could have a delay out there this Friday. Right, right, right, because Clemson has been in three lightning delays. Let's When we had our third lightning delay, we had an equal amount of touchdowns on the season as weather delays. Okay, God was just practicing to open up a great big hole in the ground. Hey, hey, listen, don't forget to pack Dabo's lightning machine because he's got one. You all just put us in that hole in the ground.

We're on that hole in the ground, bus. Yeah. Then he goes, then, you know, he goes down to his little subterranean lab and he's like, Dabo's lightning machine saves us again. That's where it keeps it. Exactly. So glad I could speak in my real voice. Oh, that would be awesome if Dabo revealed.

Like a little, a little wispy evil guy mustache and everything. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I'm secretly some sort of Austrian madman. I've brought the lightning with me. With me. With me, yeah. With me, yeah. Look, you're dab, okay.

Yeah. Saturday. No, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, Northwestern Indiana. Just keep an eye on it. Okay. You don't need to do that. No, keep an eye on it.

I'm dead serious. For what? Two quarters of good football. That's two quarters of good football. Two, all right. All right. Huh? I'm confused.

Because Indiana is pulling their starters. No, no, no, no. No, no. No, my end you, Northwestern. Did kick the shit out of Colorado. That's fine. I admit that happened. I forgot the chip.

I forgot the chip was there, and he's going to make it interesting on offense. Okay, maybe so. Laugh now. I am. Yep, I am laughing. Yeah. All things are, Patford-Fitzjald isn't there, so sure it could be.

Yeah, yeah, it can be interesting. Saturday starts with a real big one. Texas, Tennessee. Texas being number one, Texas Road favorite. It's, is this the first game? The first time this year that we've sort of started with like the loudest game. Yeah, yeah, because like, Most of the loud games have been nighters.

Yeah, they've been 3.30 or 7, I think, so far. Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, that's right. Like, week one noon was just dead air. And since then, it's been, like, a lot of, like, yeah, that's fine. So we're starting with a bang for the first time. Yeah. I don't know.

It's a lot going on here. I am very interested to see, I am very interested to see how Texas handles this rushing attack. I am going to regret what I'm thinking right now, so I probably shouldn't even say it out loud. Anyway, it will be interesting to see who will win. I am not chewing off my own fist. And you're saying everybody's going to be watching this at noon, huh, Spencer? Don't love it. Yeah, everyone's looking at Tennessee.

All right, then. I don't feel good. Everyone's looking at Tennessee. Listen, we've got to move. Sorry, I'm sorry, that's a lie. I can't keep them up. This does feel good. I've got blood in my mouth right now.

It's great. I feel alive. I will also say this. Bary them deep and path of dirt. Resistible object, movable force. Tennessee on national television Texas on national television something has got to give

somebody's going to be so fucking embarrassed but it's going to be funny either way yeah we do get a win either way the rest of us get a win either way at the same time we have this is like a game that is like if you mention it everyone will say

that's a rivalry and you say okay yeah Illinois Ohio State it's a rivalry okay and shut up sure yeah it's a it's a It's a rivalry. Am I watching this, by the way, to watch Brett Bilema do some procedural shit that you didn't even know was possible?

Yes, I'm not watching to see Illinois win. That would be very, very funny. I am watching to see if Brett Bilema has figured out some sort of galaxy-brained nine-step 5D chess thing that takes three seconds off of the clock. Yeah, it's week four. What NCAA loophole was he exploiting? Yeah, because he's saving it for this game, guaranteed. this week is pretty heavy on like oh, maybe, type games. But skipping ahead, Oklahoma, Georgia,

Georgia's favorite by 14, that means Vegas is forecasting a 14-0 final score. Final score 14-0. Ole Miss Florida, Florida's favored by three. Whoa, just saying that, give me a little bit of a rush. Iowa, Michigan, the over-under on Iowa, Michigan is boisterous 38 points. Oh my God

This is 38 Settled down This feels like the numerical version of Clemson going to Berkeley What are y'all doing up there? That's too high. Come down. If anybody gets over 10 points, take a drink And just like finish your drink.

I am Would you, by the way, who would like to Riverside me? I'm going to take the under. Does anybody want to say more than 38? No. I'm going to put a dollar on it. Nobody? No, thank you.

I'm good. Absolutely. Four of those touchdowns. I don't be gambling. The defense. All right. Okay. Uh-huh.

It's a field position game. Um, 3.30, Boise State, Western Michigan. This, yes, this is an important game. The winner will have a, uh, have a playoff path. Let's put it that way. Um, so yeah, important game. New Mexico going for the state title against New Mexico State. For beloved Lobos.

Um, I mean, I don't really want to root against New Mexico State. So we'll just, we'll just pretend this. I don't either. want to go ahead and also point out everybody needs to watch in order to fulfill i believe uh who had locksley server yeah there no jason i have locksley do you have locksley okay jason in order to fulfill that uh we're going to have to have our agendas meet my agenda is watching bob tesney run people over with the bulldozer ucla at maryland everybody gets to watch us at one 30 p m this is the first time ucLA has seen daylight all season long uh soak them up way night way night

that's that's bad man like it's it's It's a thing that betting on West Coast teams traveling east is like... Easy money. The diceiest position. Because, like, that's rough travel. Like, for UCLA, this is, I don't know, time zones. 6 a.m., is that about right? That's usually when they've been going to bed.

At least the day before, like in the Olympics. They're going back in time, like Holkogen. They're favored on the other side of Earth. I'm just saying you put all those things together, and you see the, like, Maryland is a underdog despite all those conditions. Fuck. Yeah, that ain't good. Fandy Auburn,

don't go ahead, predict what'll happen in that. Good, try it, try it, see what happens. No. No, thank you. Miami's first Saturday game is, of course, Central Michigan is a 42-point favorite. Wait, wait, wait, this is my, oh my God, this is Miami's first.

Miami's first Saturday game of the season, it's September 23rd when you're hearing this, is against Central Michigan on the CW. That is the first look, that the normal college football fan is getting at Miami. This is a team that just doesn't exist. Miami is playing in scheduling like they are trying to escape a process server. That's like.

Yep. Entirely possible. By the way, you should watch it looking for is because. Yeah, you should watch Dary and Mentsa, man. Oh my God. They're like,

put up some more numbers. Put up big number. Michigan. Shane Beamer's hot seat takes its ass to Tussie. Glusa. That's generally not what you want to do. Generally not, but hey. Not the place I would hit. That should fix it. Yeah. Who knows? I think you're going to do fine. Oh, did nobody take Beamer?

I strongly considered it. I thought about it, yeah. I think the argument that I've heard from, I think Bruce Feldman said this somewhere, was basically like, who are they going to get that so much better? He's a good, he's a great fit for Columbia. Like, I just... This is why, yeah, I said this when he got the job. job, yeah. Because he'll have a career after this no matter what. Yeah, but I also think he genuinely wants to be at this job. Like, I can't remember a South Carolina football coach who wound up at South Carolina because that's where they wanted to be. Like Spurrier was like, so you're saying I can play Augusta whenever I want to. And, and so he was, he was in like, Holtz was at the end of his career. Mustchamp was like trying to figure out what to do. Like, be is like no this is my fucking dream job they should 100% embrace the like embrace the fact that maybe every now and then because it's fucking south carolina he's gonna go six and six or seven

and five so i said this when he i forget who it was but i there was there was at least one like black assistant up for this job and i remember uh very strangely arguing to give this job to a nepo baby because it's the south carolina job it's going to kill whoever it touches So don't you want, like, you get like a young up-and-coming guy who gets this job, who is going to flame out because it's fucking South Carolina and they're going to fall 10 rungs down the ladder. Shane Beamer's never going to fall 10 rungs down the ladder. So, like, yeah, like, whether he keeps this job or not, I think he's the ideal person to have this job because whoever takes this job, you want them to be bulletproof as possible because it's going to wreck you. Like, it's going to wreck you and you, like, I don't want that for some, I don't want that for a coach I actually like. Yeah, this job.

I don't want to subject them to this shit. It's hard. It's just hard. Do you need proof? Do you need proof? This job wrecked Steve Spurrier. They ran him out of town. Yeah.

Give it his give a damn broke. Speaking of running out of town. He was perfect for this. Cincinnati undefeated hosting. The, the Satterfielding might start. now. K-State's coming in favor. Or it might not. That's the beauty.

7.30, a lot going on. A&M at LSU. One of y'all's going to lose. God, I'm going to be so irritated when it's November in LSU's in the playoff. I'm going to be so mad. Well, the beauty of their November is that's when the hardest shit happens. So, like, they could be all the way back up to sitting pretty again. I mean, is Sam Levitt bad?

No. I mean, he's, to me, I'm not going to say he's got like DJ O'I O'i Angololay numbers right now. Well, I mean, he's one who, you know, we saw the same thing last year with Miami where it's like they pay big for a quarterback and you're kind of like him, you know, not saying he's bad, just saying all that for him. Didn't he also bust his foot at the end of last year too? Like I'm worried about him staying healthy. There's a thing. We never know whether he's injured or not. He plays hurt a lot. He does play like a wild man. He comes from a family of defenders and tends to play like one. And in addition to that, LSU's receiving core, they're all, they're all small. They're not big guys.

So it's not like he has an easy answer every down that where he can go, okay, I'm going to find that guy. And I'm just going to have a binky. He needs a binkie. And I believe his current binkie, their tight end, is injured. So like he's even less binkied the binkied than before. This is what I'm worried about for Faison. Same thing like with Davis. And I think this is the trick on LSU this year after three weeks of, of course, intense scrutiny.

I think they are a team that if they don't run the ball, they're not as good pass blocking. And that causes Sam Levitt, who's super competitive to just try and make some shit happen. And I think the best thing for them is to be a running team first. And that's going to be hard because it has to involve Levitt. And involving Levitt means potentially getting him injured. And I think we just figured out why LSU's not going to win the national title this year. So what we have here is these are two of the most expensive rosters in the country. One of them will be on an 0-and-2 streak with multiple top-10 opponents still to go.

How fun does that sound? At the same time, speaking of expensive Oregon, USC, Oregon, Oregon loses this, then the preseason number two is can make the playoff, but it's not going to make the playoff. Whereas USC flying fucking high at 4 and O, hey, you beat Rutgers. You might be as bullshit as ever, but all right, we'll find out one way or the other. Yeah. By the way, like the guy for Oregon who is not disappointed on that defense somehow

and has been really, really good and grades out like top five in the nation, Bear Alexander, Bear Alexander coming back to USC. Just, you know, I'm going to go ahead and give you a little page as to what the color commentator is going to be talking about the first time that Bear Alexander manages to blow up a play in Oregon or in USC's backfield. Also, another undefeated game, Missouri Bears in Mississippi State. It should be very clear where our hearts lie in that one. I want to note Tulsa, which should be ranked right now, is playing at Arkansas, where everyone is depressed. We are going to rank in the top whatever.

where we are going to rank Tulsa like top five. Tulsa, like, Tulsa, which is beating a team that beat Oregon and Arkansas, which is having the greatest psychological breakdown if any one and two team ever. Tulsa is happy as fucking can be. And they might beat you, Arkansas.

Might. I don't think it's, I would be shocked if they don't. Arkansas's favored and shit. What? Like, why? Tulsa's not like, all. Awesome. They just beat the team that beat Oregon. Yeah, but Arkansas.

Right. Arkansas should be favored. Not by a lot. Oh, I disagree. By a bit. The game is loseable. Tulsa could win. But like, Arkansas being a slight home favorite, that's fine. The point is, Tulsa could win. So my argument was with Vegas.

I do not believe Arkansas should be favored due to Vi-Bitis. Also, Arkansas can't really win this game because if they beat Tulsa, they beat Tulsa. That's the thing they're supposed to do. Sure. Yeah. It's the Vanderbilt problem. No, it'll be happy. Tulsa and Vanderbilt's same thing.

I mean, then you have an arc and size of transit wins over Oregon, which is probably the worst thing you can say about Oregon. And then Ryan Silverfield gets away with it. Again. Again. The Sarlinson. Heading to the late night, UMass, Sacramento State. That's a conference game.

Game a week. Game a week. Georgia Tech! What in the fuck are you doing out there at Stanford? It's 1030 at night. You fucking nerds You're just like, ooh, they're nerds. We're going to go hang out with them.

Not that late at night, you're not. That's what you do online. That's what fucking Eve online is for, you nerds. Get on the computer and hang out with them there. Don't go there. Land parties are a thing of the past. You have internet that you can play games against them from afar. You don't need to go there to do that.

If it's called magic, the gathering, why am I alone on this dark campus? Minnesota is at Washington at 11 o'clock at night. This is stupid. That's undignified. To be fair, they are rowing the boat, I guess. Big Ten, another Big Ten classic. I'm just going to start saying these, like, like. Just say it about any game.

Air Force Nevada, Big Ten Classic. Yeah. We do this week. Like after like SEC heavy schedules, we're now getting into Big Ten play. And I thought in my head, like, oh yeah, man. We're going to have to, like, you know, make room for the big boys. Here they come through. And then I see what some of these games are.

That's right, America. The Big Ten schedule is notoriously, they put the big game way, way, way down the road so they can fatten up their teams, get them nice and eight and O. Then Oregon fucks that up. America, get fucked. Pay attention to Minnesota, Washington at 11 p.m. You've had to watch Ohio State play 25 per dues, and now you get to see them play a good team.

That's the Big Ten's whole fucking gimmick. We've gone double Purdue. Yeah, Minnesota, Washington. By the way. The other things keep shining through. If you want to see a quarterback who can do some really interesting things, and I'm choosing the word interesting in the sense of what are you doing to. Oh, my God, that was incredible.

Perfectly preserved dead bird on the sidewalk lock of the week. DeMond Williams. Tomon Williams is all over the place, man. Interesting things happen when DeMongley is such as the football. That's a great way to put it. Yeah, he's what we would call fascinating. He's also listed at 5-11, which means he is five feet tall. He is captivating.

He is captivating, and he'll definitely keep a team in the game. Which team? All of them. All of them all at once. So yes, Minnesota at Washington.