Shutdown Fullcast - Fish Hunt Golf Odyssey

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

00:37 "Spencer let's get this out of the way right away"03:12 "I recognize this is further derailment"19:01 "Spencer, we'll get to you"21:48 "So there was a song mentioned 22 minutes ago that we're about to get to"25:13 "Anyway, tell us about the stupid song"27:38 "Again, tell us about the song, Spencer"29:09 "Go ahead, Spencer"32:20 "You ever gonna talk about this damn song?"33:40 "I like that Ryan is telling us about this song before Spencer is"The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 29 (twenty-nine!!) bonus episodes since launching in August 2025. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)Shutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Trey McClureDID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s notBefore the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other workTravel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s other show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot existCheck out Surber’s band, Killer Antz (new album out now!)Purchase exclusive Shutdown Fullcast gear at preownedairboats.com, real website, not a trapThrough September 30, all proceeds from our PTKU merch collection will be donated to Alianza Translatinx

Wait, Jason, no, Jason knows this song. He doesn't know this song, but he knows this song. What? Hit him with it. Sonia Duvalada is the Siv 6 theme, the main theme. What? Okay, yeah. It is the first, is the first piece of video game, I'm pretty sure. It's the first piece of video game music that ever won a Grammy. Mm-hmm.

Which I think with, is that 2020? No, the Royal Philharmonic recording was 2020. Anyway, welcome to my special interest episode about Christopher 10. I'll be your host. The Italian translation of fish hunt golf drink is Katia al-Pesh, yibavanda de golf. Spencer, let's get this out of the way right away. You believe that, and people were wise to bring this new Luke Brian joint to us,

and especially because we ourselves could always use a refresher course in wait, which Luke is this. It is your contention that Luke the Brian has been done dirt, that the Brian variant of Luke has been done dirty. In this case, in this case only, yes. By our audience. I think so, I think so. Make your case.

Well, we are one of the Internet's foremost academic resources for Girl Truck Dean Shorts research. We, I believe, were on the cutting edge of deciding whether country music had fully automated. Back when AI was fun. Yes. system of songwriting and memes and really just kind of turned country music into a blender for words that all connoted kind of uh you know a good time is that that's really like it's it's good it's good times music and that's that's we were on that like way before that's right a i a i right

yeah we were on those those song like those song generators that we're that we used to use to like pop up song lyrics like they're they're they're not they're not like they're not like They're not the destroying Memphis brand of AI. Right. They're the analog AI. That's what I'm going to call them. And then, you know, before that, you know, Gene Truck Shorts QD was a creation of either Jason or Spencer's brain.

Those AI generators were running off Mr. Pibb, not water. Yeah, which we have too much of. We have too much of. We do. It's like there's Dr. Pepper, and then there's this other shit that we just need to get rid of. We've got 300 million gallons of Mr. Pib to go through before we even have to start to tap the tab. Yeah.

This computer is so cool and so sticky. It's like, is Mr. Pib okay? No, feed it to Ultron. Get the fuck out of here. So which one is Luke Bryan? So you have to know that. Not the one who put Tracy Chapman over, the other one. Right.

Again, God, okay. Not the one who paid respects to Tracy Chapman and did. So I think pretty beautiful. Which one was that? That's Luke Holmes. I had to ask because I can't tell him a part of it. either. Yeah. Yeah. That's it's also annoying that they're all picking from the same five names, all of which sound like Brian or Luke, even when they're not actually Brian or Luke. The only one I know, I realize this is a further derailment, but I know the only one I know is Zach Brian because he has

a song with Maggie Rogers. That's also a different guy. The only one I know is Luke Combs because he did the cover of Fast Car. That's right. That's right. The only one I know is Jason Aldeen because he sang a song about trying things in a small town in front of a courthouse that is famous for lynching. Right. And he used to be related to Godfrey. And he is the second. By marriage. Most racist. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is Luke Brian who you'll remember those other five guys. He's the guy without a chin. That's how I remember him. Who was the old Miss interim coach? Leonel Metsy. Matt Luke.

No, Matt Luke. We need more names. We remembered who he was because we kept calling him Lat Mewk because it sounded like, it sounded like a phantom menace, like minor villain. Now, Matt, Lou got all of this other guy's chin. Yeah, he did. Sliders go one. You got a max or min sliders.

That's it. How long could we just mash first names together until, can we play a game? Serber, can you be Arbiter? Because you'll probably know who more of these guys can we have. Can we each take it in turn to mash two first names together? And you tell us the first time we hit one that isn't already a singer? Yeah, I will try this. and it has to be like no you can't like cheat and use zach brown you have to like make it up brian matt okay no uh i'm not sure that's not one and also reversing somebody else spell it with a why though jason to be clear uh i just found a

brian matthew as a voice actor tie baker no not one that not one that that neither those are really first names that's a rice baseball player Listen. And Texas A&M baseball player. Maybe advanced for a person. Oh, yeah. And it's, man, this is an aggressively baseball name. Shit.

I just realized we're naming Georgia Corbett. Taylor John. Ooh. No. Yeah, all tailors are Luke's. I feel like we, I feel like I agree on that. This brings up Taylor John Smith, who's an actor without a shirt. See?

Yeah. He was in Where the Crawdads sing. Wow. This is like the archetypical guy. Where the Crawadad sing is right here on the shutdown full cast, brother. I'm not going to give this to you, Spencer, but you are very close. There is a Taylor John Williams, who's, like, Instagram, like, on the top of the page. It's not his at, but it's Mr. Taylor, John.

You're so close. Like, you, if no one gets one, you win. Server, give me Luke Taylor. No, Taylor Luke. Taylor, Luke. I think you might have been on to Luke Taylor, but Taylor, Luke is not. Luke Taylor, I feel like, is maybe the name of Jason Statham's character in something that I'm just not. remembering. I know. I know this is a person already, so I'm cheating. And it's definitely not a

person in the ilk we are thinking, but I'm really delighted that there's a person named Derek Trucks. I'm really delighted. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Trucks, yeah. It's Butch Trucks, son. It's Butch truck son. Who's Butch Trucks? Oh, from the Almond brothers. From the Almond brothers, yeah. What? He's one of the drummers, one of the percussionists. That's not his like, that's not his real name, though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. trucks. They're from fucking Georgia. I'm sorry.

I'm not from Georgia. Holly is right. I'm not a jam band human. Holly is right. I'm going to say this. I have Almond Brothers blindness. Butch is a nickname. His first name is Claude.

He's Claude Trucks. Claude. Wow. So like Duane's nickname is Moondog. Before everybody yells at me, I'm not from Florida and I'm not from Georgia and I'm not a jam band person. I don't, I don't know who any of these. I know who the Almond brothers are.

There's no shame in not knowing. Is it like TRU-C-H-S, like cheating? No. Trucks. What? Trugs. What? Trugs.

Like, we're going to buy, we're going to the Ford dealership to buy some trucks. If somebody had told me this was the name of somebody in the band, I might have given the Allman Brothers a chance. That's something. Now you know. Probably not. Now you know. Where did Butch trucks go to school? Florida State.

100%. Yes. Yeah. See, if you get down past Val Dostra, that's basically Florida. Sorry, Jason. Go ahead. And last of these names I'm hearing, often, it feels like, it feels like we're really circling the four names of the authors of the Gospels.

Is there a Matthew Mark Luke John or some combo thereof? Oh, Matthew Mark. That sounds like a contemporary Christian. Give me Maddie Mark. Give me Maddie Mark Brian with a why. John Mark Luke John. Okay. There is a, there is, I am seeing a producer named Luke Johns.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have that. I don't think he's. I don't think he's. Oh, yeah. Is that Glenn Johns of the Luke Johns? I don't think so.

Matthew Marks is an art gallery. Jason. What about Mark Matthews? Mark Matthews is an offensive tackle. Yeah. Jason, did you spend any time in the big Methodist outcroppings in your youth? Why specifically Methodist? Because in the church where we are currently rehearsing.

for this show that I'm doing, there is a gallery of paintings in the hallways of... Spencer has seen all these, don't spoil it, where Jesus and the apostles all look like the Oak Ridge Boys, like not, sorry, it's not Jesus, but it's all 12

apostles, they all look like a different Oak Ridge Boy, and I posted a couple of them, and I got messages from like six people who were like, I don't live in Georgia, and I'm not Methodist, or I don't live in Georgia, but I am a Methodist, and these were in my church growing up and they were from like six different states. I would be very curious about what is specifically Methodist about that, but...

I don't know. But everybody I talked to was a Methodist. That's Thomas right there on his way to steal your girl. Well, maybe what we're revealing is that what country music needs is to go beyond... Look at James. Look what they did. He looks like James Taylor. I think we need to go beyond the four gospel writers and go, like, give me a...

a country singer named Bart Judas. I think that would rock. I think Bart Judas who writes some good outlaw coach. That's a rowdy boy. Fred Job. Bart Judas's new album,

Grand Theft Auto. I took a couple more pictures because I'm trying to snap these covertly and the hallways are always full of people and I don't want to be weird. Give me a fad Simon. I want a Simon Peter Simon. A little guitar.

Let me tell you what. By the do it, the duo. Is there a Brian Brian? Probably. I bet there's a Brian Brian's. I'm telling you, man, you want to start a country band. You call it the fucking brothers of thunder. You're good.

The Thunder Warriors. We should just be in charge of this. Warhammer faction or country music band. Oh, here. Here's the, dude, here's the real good one. Look at John. Oh. Look at those flowing fucking locks.

He should be wearing a satin can. He looks like he was on the TV show, the hit TV show. Joe Nashville. He looks like he's a backup quarterback. I'm sorry, one more. The quiet smolder of Philip. Yeah. Now that is that, that is hair.

That was the one I was like, how are we getting hair like that back in? Because like, up until then, I was like, these guys were around at the time. Yeah. There was iPhone face at the time. There were, there were country singers at the time. But that hair. There wasn't products. There wasn't hair products.

Yeah, that is like a Brazilian oil. Like, yeah, they were oil in their hair at the time. But keep in mind, this is a group of broke boys. by design. You can't, you can't, you tell me you're fishing with that hair. Fuck, no, you're right. You just got out the lake, and then you were like ferrying 5,000 children all day in the sun. Hey, Thomas, I'm doubting you haven't been in the John Mitchell chair all day.

Anyway, if you're Methodist and you know what the deal is with these paintings, I fucking love them. Please send me all the information you have. Let us know. And if you're not Methodist. If you're not Methodist, I want to know if you had these paintings. If you're not Methodist, get the hell out of it. Here. As, as known, this is specifically a Methodist podcast.

But, like, if, if these descriptions of these paintings are registering for you, and it's not just any old religious painting, it is a very specific look that I agree. It does look like a painting of a 70s country star. I want to know how far that spread throughout the denominational diaspora. It was a little fun. It was funny because it was okay because it was somebody I had met before. I would have been a little, like, freaked out. when I first posted these pictures, like, immediately I got a DM, and one of our long-time listeners

was like, why are you at my church? But then I got a whole bunch of other people going, why are you at my church who lived in, like, Nebraska? So they're all Methodists. If I were to summarize. So far, they've all been Methodist. If I were to summarize the general ethos here, it would be Aunt Carol's Companions, a gallery. It looks like, like, if you started singing Umbapa, Umbapa, Moubapa, Mau, Like they would just turn their their heads would snap to you like predator like what if there was an apostle named skip Yeah, I think that is a pretty good corollary for half these dudes

I mean like the vibe for these guys is half of them are skip and then there's like a former officer Jenkins who's reformed or you're a tracer It's like half the use walking past some fucking dirt bags and like you Yeah, you got what it takes to just walk away from your job and go wander around nowhere with me. Get in here. Fuck it. I didn't like this. I didn't like my boss anyway. Let's go. I'd rather not have one.

Let me go hang out with some guy named Josh. What are you doing? We just sit around and eat. We just have dinner. Crash weddings? He says some crazy stuff. I don't understand. It's all incredibly simple. We dug up a dead guy. That was awesome. He'll tell me like two sentence ASOP fables and they all whizz way over my dumb ass head.

I know sometimes we get frustrated about the fact that humanity never learns certain lessons, but I find it also intensely comforting that the history of dudes rocking stretches back as many millennia as it does. I think and the fact that throughout some of these rocking dudes have been reiterating these lessons. So it's it's they have to sink in over and over and over. It'll never just be one guy said some things and then it took forever. Well, no, because if you only need one guy, then what's the point of having a band? What these paintings are is if you asked Kenny Powers, not Danny McBride, Kenny Powers, paint biblical figures.

This is what you would get. Which is like, like, use your minor league baseball teammates to model as the apostas. It's like they all went to. Well, of course, I'm Jesus. It's like they all went to glamour shots at the mountain, not Olin Mills, specifically glamour shots because they got their hair teased. Actually, I'm Joseph. I'm the one taking care of Miss Mary. Also, these paintings are in a windowless hallway

lit only by fluorescent light, and they are faded to shit. So they have to have been there for like 50 years. So, like, they really, really could function as LP covers that you're pulling out the back. 100%, yeah. We only have a couple of our rehearsals, and I'm like, I'm trying to get the whole set

preserved in my phone. I want to see that one. Was it, which one was it with the big hair? Hang on. Phillip? Philip. You got Philip on laser disc. It's got like thin gold cursive font.

Philip Montgomery sings his hits. Simon comes alive. Yeah, no. That guy left the band to do a Liza Minnelli musical. That guy left the band to do some high. He's like the Loonzinger sticks. Rhinestone Cowboy. No, he was one of those guys who took a guest turn in Le Miz, right?

He's like, yeah, his best little whorehouse in Texas only ran for six, six shows. The other series, if you're, if I know podcasting is a visual medium and we're not doing a great job here, but if you put, if you put one of these, the other message I got over and over again after I posted this specifically was like, is that Jeff Fisher? That's like, well, that's very, that's very kind to Jeff Fisher. Hey. It is. These are my boyfriends you're talking about. Okay.

I apologize. Nevertheless. Yes. He did we went and saw him in a production of Big River. It was eight shows and got canceled. It was down a T-pack. I thought it was pretty good. Eddie George is doing great in Shakespeare.

Yeah, it was just like, you should have seen it. It was just like that. Is that way you went to the Mac Macbeth? Is there something to do that? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. See the signs. This one, like, this one, you could convince me that they did Thomas with like a young

Chris Christofferson as the model. I would believe, I would believe that. at some point in this church's previous history, some of the male leadership of the church paid to get these paintings done of themselves, panicked, and was like, oh, actually, no, that's, that's totally this guy from the Gospels. Yep, that's not me. It happens to look like me, but. He's got way bigger hair than I do because I'm Methodist, which means I have 215 business meetings per week. So my hair is extremely short. Some of these dudes got a real Lutheran energy, too, oh, too.

It's important that you know that all of the apostles were hot in a Camaro kind of way. Yeah, sure. Is there another? That makes sense. That makes sense. I mean, all they did was like skedaddle out of one town. Yeah, they had Camaro kind of lives. This is the secret 13th apostle, Rob Thomas.

Oh, this town is too hot. We got to blow this joint. Of course they look like that. Specifically, you're talking about the T-top, Camaro, right? Yeah, yeah. Like the I rock. I'm always talking about an I rock baby. Like we're talking about an I rock gang who just walks.

I walk. Right. Like this is like Flintstone's I rocks. Listen, I bet you say that, but I bet once Jesus walked on the Sea of Galilee, they were like, I bet we could take the I rock out. I bet we can get the I rock up on the lake. You watch. Hey boss, watch this. Hey man, why are you hanging out?

I hang out with this guy and his friend, Joshua. My car didn't work. But then he laid his hands on it. And he said, watchful. I'm going to get this thing running again. We like, no. He'd like, no. Take a look and just put his hands on it.

Damn, crank right up. God is smiting your internet. Yeah. Okay, that wasn't me. We're doing a little too much. We're poking the bear. That's right. Sorry, Lord.

I'm going right. I'm going right back at the big fella. You hear me? That bear killed a lot of kids. I saw it. I read about it. Jason's going to keep us out of the dish. They deserve it.

We're a spiritual leader, right? Totally fine. Yeah, I think all we're suggesting is that God loves cool cars and cool dudes. Of course. And that Jackass is an apostolic story cycle. Same. I mean, that's exclusively cool. God loves cool ladies too.

Or God loves cool, no, you know, non-diener on dinary. We should say this because every comic is somebody's first. Dudes rocking is a genderless concept. 100%. Yeah. So is God. Yeah. Cars are genderless too.

Johnny Knoxville. Johnny Knoxville suffered for us. That's true. Man. You know who else did? That's right. Van Margera. I don't think he did.

No. I don't think he qualifies. So the song. Okay. Time out. Let's just, Spencer, we'll get to you. I don't know.

Here, because you made me do this, I have, I have information for you in the audience. Here we go. Wait, wait, hang on. Proceed. Brad heard it. Stitch heard it.

Javelina heard it. Bianca heard it. Miguel heard it. Javelina? Listen, I'm just, some of these are just people's blue sky handles that I'm just pulling bits. I'm not doing full handles. Oh, I thought you were naming more almond brothers.

KHW heard it. David heard it. Germs heard it. Maybe a crook heard it. Jefferson heard it. M.C. Toy heard it. Emma heard it Jim heard it Micah heard it Chris heard it Michael heard it young love heard it J heard it I guess this is fair after what we did to Ryan Mike heard it Anthony heard it

fool court heard it Stan cranky heard it Doug heard it Major heard it Bodie heard it Maldicinithee heard it Malacondra heard it Jamie heard it late to everything heard it Dominal heard it C sloth heard it Marcus heard it Earl heard it Eliza heard it it, Brendan heard it, Douglas heard it, Aaron heard it, Matt heard it, Jeff heard it, Roger didn't hear it. I don't know what it is and I'm not going to find out, but you, you sent these people to me and now I bring them back to you and that's the report on who heard it and who didn't hear it. Right, how do you even know what they were talking about?

I don't. I just had people saying I heard it over and over again. And so I said, all right, if this is going to happen, I'm going to catalog who heard it? and almost everybody who tagged me heard it, except for Roger, who only tagged me today and said, like Serber, I didn't hear it. I'm not going to find out what it is, and I don't want to know, but that's who heard it. You're welcome.

I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it either. I heard it on playback. I didn't hear it. You know how, like, sometimes your ears are ringing, and they're like, oh, that's the frequency that you'll never hear again is the sound you're hearing. Did we hit your resonant for you?

You have full cast tinnitus. That's what I was going to say first. I think a combination of that and Dinosaur Jr. with no earplugs has permanently destroyed me. You sure it's not the latter server? You sure it's not famously the loudest band on the planet not named My Bloody Valentine? Mostly this show, but then a little bit, Dinosaur Jr. But mostly.

With no earplugs? Dude, listen, I didn't say anything to you about the welcome for the first two years. Do you have any idea what that did? me. Not J. Mautz just with like a gigantic fucking wall of ant. Just let this be a lesson about advocating for yourself. Okay. Anyway, that's who heard it and who didn't hear it. Spencer, you're about to tell us about fish, golf, hunt, beer? There's a song mentioned 22 minutes ago that we're about to talk. Yes. Fish, hunt,

golf, drink. Are there commas? The existence of which was no, no, no, no. No, it is, this is basically, like, odd future wolfgang kill them, all no no punctuation i would say this is more like a new york times connections category where you're like i guess these things all go together sure yes finally a meow wolf for men pro it's it's it's written as if it's a noun you know it's not one word it's just four words in a right yeah think of it as it's like one proper noun yeah think it as an incantation a summoning yeah this is like no no but what if it's like buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Can you do that with this?

Doesn't that have punctuation? No. No. Fish, noun, fish hunt, verb, fish hunt golf drink. Yeah. Fish are on the hunt for an owner or an Arnold Palmer. Yes, fish hunt golf drink.

It could also be an imperative. This could be a command. Fish, hunt golf drink. Yeah. When you're at the fish hunt golf, you drink, right? Sure. Or your buddy fish. Those are all adjectives describing the drink.

Yeah. Your buddy fish after the cart grub. girl drove away could be sent after her and he only understands simple commands because it's 2 p.m. and he is nine pacificos deep. Is it all just one person's name? Yeah, like in the... Your long-lost son? Fish hunt golf drink! Let somebody do the test. Your last name is drink. He's, this kid's name is fish named after your grandfather's golf and hunt. Fish hunt fucking golf drink. If I ain't be down. Get your ass right here. I think fish hunt is his full first name.

We call him fish for short, but now you know he's in trouble because you're using your first name. Your full name. Fish hunt. Mora said golf. Fish hunt golf drink. If you don't go out there and cut yourself a switch. He just wants to be called like Dave or John. No, he goes but no, please.

He goes by Trey. We know his people. Tripp. Hey, my name is Hunt. Anything else in that name? No, no, just Hunt. I swear. It's Tripp because he's the third.

That's right. And the first you have normal names. Yeah. Silverberry. I'm David Drink. I'm Alex Drink. I'm Silverberry Fish Hunt. Man, that sounds kind of lordly.

I'm Silverberry Fish Hunt, OBE. And OBGY. Order of the Bryan Empire. Yeah, this is on, this is the duality of Southern names is that you're always like a little bit close to sounding like English nobility. But then like you shift a gear and it just goes. totally like Alabama or England has several levels too like the Almond brothers are perfect for that because you go Derek Olman MP attended Magdalene college studied classics represents stoke and Trent in the house of Lords right Butch trucks American is shit well his brother's Dwayne you know like Derek Olman and his brother

Dwain like Dwayne can't do that shit Dwayne didn't go to Cambridge you name him Dwayne he's like oh I know who I'd rather rob a convenience store with. Oh, yeah. We're getting out of that convenience store. Dwayne Allman, in artful dodger, mate. He's secretly your father. Anyway, tell us by the stupid song. So there's a song, 28 minutes ago.

30 minutes ago, we were talking about the song, and I am bound to determined. You were so determined, man. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get this off. I was like, I have to hit record or else we're going to miss this. This song? The song? Can I start getting a.

Server's like, I hope I get the button pressed before we get this song. Can I start giving us shot clock violations just so I can play this noise? Because I'm so happy we have a shot clock violation button now. Yeah, please do. All right. Go ahead and hit it. We're well over. Divided by 60.

Let's see. I'm trying to calculate how many shot clock violations. Oh, the game's over. I've been red carded. They don't even have those in the United States basketball. but yeah I got card it we got all kinds of buttons in here that we didn't use this football suit

oh yeah that doesn't seem necessary it still works so this song was shared on social media by who who to be clear remember we have him over in the bad not tolerable

lesser brine lesser looks okay and lesser Luke lesser looks yeah that also that also sounds like an English bird or fish. No, a lesser Luke. Oh.

Yeah. That sounds like a type of a type of fish. Or a less man caught by, this specimen caught by Professor Derek Olman. Any lettuce is lesser these days. Damn. Folks, have you heard about this one? Have you heard about the diarrhea salad?

It's everywhere but Taco Bell. Well, you'll be a rambling man then. I'll tell you what. Phew. Luke Bryan's won't be so cute after that. The Dave Matthews Band is a little too intentional, there. Girl, do not shake it here because that thing's loaded. We ain't driving over there back roads after you get sat.

No one. We'll find some smooth surfaces to drive across. Body like a mud track. There we go. Yeah. Had the windows down for a whole other reason, girl. Was this on the show when we did girl? Is your body like a back road?

Nasty like apple face. Because it's infested with raccoons. Girl, you had that salad at crappled beans. Again, tell us about this song. Girl, is your body a backrope? Because the police will never tell us what happened around there. Hey, Serber, what I want you to do is the minute he starts talking about the song in the final edit, just cut to the intro music.

I'm going to come back to it. You know, I will have to kill me. I think about Spencer. It's like Spencer will always come back to the thing. Like there is, you can get him off course. He will do whatever it takes to venture across the world as if he is Odysseus of podcasting back to the thing he wanted to say. Oh shit, we're going to talk about Odysseus. So now it's time to get to that.

Odysseus. Odysseus fishes. He hunts. He drinks. He doesn't golf. He doesn't golf. a form of truck. He has a boat.

He's got a dang boat for a while. He does regret. He visibly regrets owning a boat. He got himself. He parted a dang a boat and then, dang it. I never should have got on that fucking boat. I would say soldiering in these times was the equivalent of golf.

I think the golf, the thing about golf is... How'd do in a group? You want to get good enough... You want to get good enough at golf to be able to say, hey, y'all watch this, right? And Odysseus does some of that shit, sure. Like, can't nobody else put this ball into that hole

Expans it. I'm the only one who can do it. Do you know why it's golf? He spends a lot of time on the beach, just like me on the links, baby. It pulls out the putter, nobody else can wield. Yeah. Go ahead, Spencer. Yeah.

So, uh, this, this song, um, it got shared and naturally. I genuinely forgot what song you were talking about for a minute. Yeah. So it turns out that 32 minutes and 30 seconds is my personal horizon we got it we got it Luke I keep going

Luke Brian oh that guy he's in commercials I thought you were talking about the song from the Odyssey this guy's in commercials and stuff yeah I just now looked up his face you guys want to do podcast business to the shutdown full cast you're listening to the internet's only college football podcast 33 minutes in

and change you're getting the intro I'm Spencer Hall joined always by Jason Kirk. Hello. Holly Anderson. Ryan Nanny.

Happy SEC Media Days Week. This is the SEC Media Days Week. We're going to talk about it. Breaking down everything important.

Bring out all the big news. You want to talk about a fucking Odyssey. That's me. You want to talk about being way late? You want to talk about being

stranded at the beach? You want to be stranded at the beach, baby. Stranded at the worst beach. It took me 20 years to get back to Tampa. Yeah, there I was. There I was on the beach with Charlize Theron. It was only the drugs that made me stay there. I swear, honey, I swear. As if that's better. I was in the Manor Republic Dick Prison. I just could not turn myself loose. Dang it. She had me cornered at every turn. Anyway, how have you been?

That was your day. I see you've taken up knitting. You got a lot of friends. Yeah. Cool. A lot of friends. Wow. Who drank on my beer? Tom Holland brings this up specifically. You son of a bitch, you drank all my daddy's beer. That came in, drank all my shit, kicked my dog. Kick my fucking dog. Get me my goddamn rifle. Started to mess with my stuff.

That's also it. Give me my rifle that sounds like a banjo, an ominous banjo. He does the dad thing of like, where's my stuff? Somebody hide all their stuff for me. I can't face them with all this stuff. You got to hide that upstairs. Who touched my drill? Who touched my drill?

Shut the goddamn garage door. What do you mean? You didn't charge the battery. That's a Makita. Take care of it. Polybus is like, DeWalt for life, bitch. Get your goddamn wry hands off my tools.

You ever going to talk about this damn song? All right. I'll talk. What song? So, fish hunt, golf, drink. We've now done a 30-minute. infomercial for this song. 35.

35. You're welcome with Brian. This is either extremely effective or extremely in effect in effect marketing for this song. I can't decide which. Because there is some portion of the audience is like, fuck it. I'm just going to go figure out what it is. They're going to go to the source material. They're going to think the thing that I think, which is that this has been...

Is he MCA? What label is he? Uh, good Lord. Who knows? Oh, it's capital. Okay. Doesn't it capital? The checks... And down, Ryan, when you go see our fine friends at Capitol, at Capitol Nashville, just pick up our checks.

I'll have words. He's from Edison, Georgia, the town I'd never heard of. Then went to George Southern. Yeah. And he has resting shark face. Like, if you look at him, he looks like a guy who's just gone, oh, no. Like, he definitely ate a salad. Damn, damn, the comments on this YouTube video are not good.

Wait, is that a video of the song? It's the music video, yeah. Oh, there's a music video. I'll just give you a few. It's like cocoa melon for Hicks. As a silverbacked gorilla, climbed tree really resonated with me. I like that Ryan is telling us about this song before Spencer is.

That's good. Yeah. So I'm really only mad, by the way, at Luke Ryan for existing. And for people who thought this was like a sure dunk, because I don't trust Blue Sky anymore. Because like, as, again, as a foremost researcher of Gene Short, cutie music,

this is like the most harmless, innocuous version of it. This is a standard country song. Like, this is the, because we only get the dumb, we only get the dumb chorus. So like, the Canadians on Blue Sky, we're freaking out like this is the, right? They're like, but the U.S.ians listen to this garbage.

Burrish real piece, poor food, welcome. Now listen to this garbage. First, they need their hydration breaks. Yeah. I'm not playing this. I'm not playing this as an attack. I swear, I'm not playing this as an attack on anyone but Canada. But yeah, like, oh, of course it's a song about guns.

I was like, this is a very... I mean, he doesn't say what they killed them with. It's true. But this is a very corny-ass chorus. And I was like, well, unlike people on social media, I'm going to engage the whole text. I'm going to read the whole thing. You're not wasting any part of this buffalo. No, I'm going to go ahead and dig in.

I'm going to fish this buffalo. This is the most... This is a country music song that's been written like 3,000 times. This is the like, hey, I got all this work and stuff to do. But if I wouldn't work and you know what I'd be doing, I'd be fishing, hunting, golfing, and drinking. It's the most... They've been writing this song for 50 years. Minimum, right?

And the great turn from country for being... At one point, country music is about things are really fucked up in my... my life and I'm very sad. Or I'm being chased by the authorities, right? Or occasionally, I've been committed to a mental institution. There's a Porter Wagner song called Rubber Room that is about being committed to a mental institution and it's one of the weirdest country songs you'll ever hear. And sometimes these themes can yield rich fruits, such as when T-Pain tackled them in his song

about trucks. Yeah, I think there's also, it's not also always something bad, like just about driving trucks and loving the road. There's plenty of that, right? Being a late night DJ and having a lady you're looking forward to call every night, you know, things like that. They're not always, things aren't always going bad. Spencer, you're the only one

that's heard this song. Although we would have all had time to listen to it many times over. You've had time to record it. And the recording of this song. And you're saying that this should be allowed to pass. I'm saying that, I'm saying that there are greater enemies out there. I'm saying there are

so many greater enemies out there in the Luke Bryan catalog alone this is not this is this is something that they just bought and tagged on at the end of recording this is a this this song is fucking harmless this song is like nothing this song is fine it is like that uh i'm pretty good at drinking beer it's like that one yeah nothing yeah that's not gonna hurt nobody it's listen this is just one of those hey let's let's jump into the mind of your most median dad like that's it right like Stuck in my car. I'd rather be fishing. That's the song.

That's the whole thing. And so now I'm because I'm now stuck in the research for this, thanks for this. Now I'm seeing Luke Bryan responding to people like calling him out with. Did they YouTube comments? No. This appears to be on Instagram. Oh, no, better. Where real men do their fighting.

From an anonymous from a locked account. I bear your little ass to meet me in the comments. Where he says, I'll just. cut to the chase here go get out of boat quit scrolling on your phone all day i mean i mean don't make me defend luke line twice that man looks like he just ate the diarrhea lettuce all the time he looked like he wake up and want to die every day and yet i'm sitting here telling you you could take better shots at this man because this song is like this song is k this song is nothing the faces of woke three are continuing to puzzle me yeah

we got to listen do the reading to the listening what set off um this corner of canadian blue sky which granted like there was always a chance that they would a light on um beer truck song number one million and treat it like beer truck song number one they don't have anything to do up there jason because they've solved all their own societal problems i think it's the opening opening line if it wasn't for the tax man and this immediately sets off in canadian blue sky mine americans don't want to pay their taxes like right like it's it's a pop policy thing. It's a, you see what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like, I'm Luke Bryan for the Cato Institute.

Everyone loves paying taxes. That is my Canadian accent. Yeah, that was good. That sounds like Wolverine, the only Canadian we know. That's honestly, yeah, that's probably what I'd go for if someone's like a person to It's a strong pull. It's a strong pull and it's merciful even. So I think it's extrapolating that it is unpleasant to pay taxes, which you could say leftistly, which considering what the government spends money on. Really, I'm adopting Luke Brian as far woker than Canadian blue sky.

And to our Canadian brothers and sisters, again, that's the fight you're going to pick with us? Oh, yeah. That one? Again, if you're going to stab, do it. You have your pick right now and always. If you're going to stab. You get to do it accurately. Also, man, you got the entire, you got the entire province of Alberta up there, okay?

I know. Which one's that? Is that the one with the fish? It's the lady alligator. Is it the Colorado? The Gallagate. It's the, yeah. We'll call it Colorado.

Gallagator. Is it the Wyoming? The Wyoming? Yeah, it's also to the Wyoming, I think. Nebraska. It's the Petro State. Yeah, it's the Petro State. Wait.

Oh, not that kind of Petro State. No, it's not that, no. So it's West Texas. Yes, it's the West Texas of Canada, right? I guarantee you. You got to put this in terms of places that are real. There's some people up there fish hunt golf drinking, okay, in Alberta, real hard. Also, I like the car.

comment that somebody says, if you make a list, you can make a song. That's always been true, motherfucker. That's always been true. I quote, the legendary J. Z, Sasquatch Godzilla, King Kong, Lodgness. Goblin, ghoul, a zombie with no conscience.

Question, what do all these things have in common? A little bit of moniker in their lives. There's no doubt about it. Mamo number five. Area codes? That's a list of lists. Ten crack commandments. Mm-hmm. Yep.

That shit is numerated. What's your fantasy? That's a list song. That's a list of shit ludicrous has thought about. Of course we all wanted to fuck on the George Dome 50 while Atlanta kicks a field goal. Johnny Cash, everywhere, man. These Americans are so sports addicted, they can't think of sex with a football field. Where's that's that? D.MX wrote a song that is just a list of women's names and that is the song. Freakalik! What about Freakalik? All we're doing is we're naming ladies.

Pedy Pablo. Yeah. Name is some states. Yeah. Shemika, Kisha, Tara, Shauna, Sabrina, Crystal, DeBron. The Animaniacs Nations of the World. Damn. It's in the title.

For fuck's sake. How, my point being, how... Open your primary schools. Like, how half-assed are you when Luke Bryant scores on you? You try to take a shot. And Luke, yikes. This is some, like, losing to Wake Forest shit. You're embarrassing me, step at the fuck up.

I think you should. I think the lesson here is you should not put more effort into dunking on fish hunt golf drink than went into writing fish hunt golf. Like that is where you have you have inverted things have become inverted upon you. And let me be clear. And I know that when people say let me be clear, they're about to say something completely full of shit. And you should absolutely take that to heat here. We are not here to scold our own readers for bringing us. It's never, ever a bad thing to maintain constant vigilance around people named things like Luke

Brian. And you got some reps in. You all did the right thing by warning us. And now we are reviewing the film. So I want you to take all this to heart. You did the right thing. And now we've all learned a little bit. Yeah.

I'd also like to point out that this song wisely includes four activities to do when hung over where you can poop in the woods. seems very i'm just saying the whole thing seems practical i mean these days the woods make you poop most i will say the the predominant theme of this list is please don't talk to me please don't talk to me that's it i want to go sit in a tree please don't talk to me please don't talk to me that i just read the Denise, just let me go poop. There's a lyric that's like, I want to play 18 holes. It's like, eh, better make it 36.

I got to be away from these people twice as long. Even if my cat wants to come in the bathroom. Even if you're coming with me, please don't talk to me. No, don't take me back. We're fishing. You got to be quiet. We're hunt. I'm swing.

I'm in the back swing. Shut the fuck up. Here, put a bear in your mouth so you don't fucking talk to me. I don't think you should make. Are you actually hunting? No, I don't want you to find. me. I don't think you should make fun of a song if like 50% or 75% of the activities described as being desirable also sound good to you. You can't. Like fishing, fine. That sounds like a great time,

right? Sit, do nothing. That's awesome. Hunting. Honestly, hunting's great because you don't really hunt. You just kind of sit out there and you're like, well, I got a bunch of snacks. You ain't going to hang. Hunting is sitting in a tree with snacks. It's sitting in a nice chair and a comfy coat. I just wish there was one. Wow, what a provider up there working hard for us. I do wish there was one zag. I wish it was fish hunt Gulf Catan. Like that would have been really valuable.

Yeah, what now, Canada? Yeah. It is a social game. Oh, resource hoarding Americans once again. Just obsessed with the longest road and not the best road. One more road, bro. That's all you guys need. The longest road is life, brother.

Hey, a Canadian told me once that it was a highway. Okay. Life, that is. Listen to your elders. A large cat. You know, if we, these all, these country boys, these pro-country boys would be so much better if we just mix the name of a large cat in between, in between their given and surnames. Yeah. This is, this is.

This is. Puma Brian. Mittins. Luke Mittens. Oh, I didn't think about that kind of cat name, but that's even better. Yes. Yeah. Jason.

Jason Whiskers Aldeen. Tuxedo Aldean. Yeah. These all sounds. Man, if I ever, listen, if I ever run into a guy, oh, listen. That's a little too accurate. That's a little too accurate, brother. We had a long-running theory on EDSBS that Randy Travis was a space alien sent here to observe human interaction.

Such was the basis for such a long time of his carrying on without visible. blarm. What did this guy do? What was his deal? Ray Travis? Is he still around? Oh, yeah, he's alive. Randy, you know.

I know the name. I know the name. How many times was he arrested naked? Let's just go to that way. Yeah, you know when TayK was on the loose and they were like, man, Tate K couldn't do all those crimes. It turns out Takeda did all those crimes. Voice of a goddamn angel.

Randy Travis had a run like that with like public in talks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's all you need to know. Several incidents. which the singer became publicly intoxicated were reported in the early 2010s. Yeah.

It was trying time for America. We were all going through it. I maintain that he was impervious to most intoxicants for most of his life because he is a space alien sent here to observe humanity's actions. But they made his voice a little too beautiful. Six Grammy words. So this was him trying to nerf himself. That's right. Yeah.

Otherwise unstoppable. I have a, like, they've changed it to, they've a totally different song. we change it to fish. Also, Randy Travis, song of lists, lists of things my love is better than. Yeah. But totally different song if we change this to fish hunt golf twink. That would be much different. Because like, most of the audience would be right there. A little fellow you take outside. That's true. Just a buddy. He's peppy. It's my small friend. He likes golf. He ain't football size.

You know, he didn't need it. This is just your catty. He hung out with this extremely charming, enthusiastic, thin gay man. His name's Fish Hunt. Yeah. That's my fish on golf. Golf twink, yeah. Don't sleep on him.

He is 350 off the tea with a driver off the deck. Speaking of illegal supplements. Bonjour, Monsieur, Monsieur Serber. Oh, even. better. Ha-ha! La Tour de France commas.

Ah, we, yeah, what's up? It's Papa, pa. Shit went fucking crazy all of a sudden. Serber, we heard about crashes. There have been crashes. Big crash, bad crash.

Injuries to good people. Yeah, Jonas Fingigo is the only guy to ever beat Tadi Pogaccha on the Tour de France. He was sitting second. He's only ever finished first or second in the Tour de France. He crashed out of the race. out of the race on

Sunday afternoon about 20K from the finish broke his collarbone broke his collarbone very sad scenes of him climbing into the ambulance the climb the approach to the climb is kind of

the approach to the climb is kind of calm for a moment as everyone processes this information this opens up the podium battle to to a point that we haven't seen in quite some time because with Jonas, who was two minutes, two and a half, maybe three minutes down on Pogaccia at that point. Everyone else was around four minutes down, but more importantly,

they were within about 30 seconds of each other. I think fourth to ninth or fourth to tenth at that point was separated by merely 45 seconds. So that made the opportunity to finish second or third, which is kind of career defining for a lot of riders, especially those who target the grand tours to finish even second or third, maybe top five in the Tour de France is. a career defining moment. So big opportunity opens up there. Isaac del Toro is the young Mexican teammate of Todi Pogacha. He was best place to kind of take advantage of the unfortunate events that happened. He kind of sits Pogacha's wheel with Remko, Evanapult, all the way up that stage.

Remko actually outdulls Pogacha at the top of the mountain, wins the stage. Consequently, evidentially, Evanaple also won today's time trial stage. by 38 seconds over Pagacha. Interesting, and that he's, you know, four and a half minutes adrift of Tade right now, but, like, has really no true chance of winning this sort of fronts, but has now put about two and a half minutes

between himself and Isaac Deltoro as the closest writer, I believe. I'm going off memory on these time splits now, but significant time between he and Ezek Deltoro between dropping him on the climb and then also putting over a minute into him, I think, today in the time trial. The interesting thing that I do is,

need to go back to about Jonas Vingago. And it leads me to an opportunity to shit on Lance Armstrong, which I always like an opportunity to do. Jonas Vingigo and Tadi Pogacha, the night before Yonis Viggo crashes, are woken in the middle of the night by

an anti-doping control. I heard about this at like two and four in the morning? Two and five a.m. Why did they do it twice? So Tadipagata Pagacha at 5 a.m. was awoken to be tested. And Jonas Vinkigo was awoken to be tested at 2 a.m.

It was funny the next morning they were interviewing all the leaders, one of which, of course, Tadi Pagaccio, like, well, what did you think of this? He's like, it's kind of crazy. I think I would have preferred to have been visited at 2 a.m. Because this was awesome. He was like, I go to sleep after midnight anyway. The dude who just destroys everyone in cycling. He's like, yeah, I'm up to one in the morning usually.

and I sleep in. So he was like, I just had to stay up for four hours after they woke me up at five, but maybe if they'd come at two, I would be able to go back to sleep. But a lot of people are now kind of positing the idea that perhaps being interrupted in the middle of the night in the world's toughest bike race.

Serber, didn't you say this to us the morning after it happened? Like before the crash, but after this, you were like, you said something, I feel like you said something in a chat that was like, just like it was like a throwaway

moment of just like man it couldn't be clearer they're really trying to fuck this guy over because they're mad he's made the race boring yeah there's a little bit of you might have saw that with someone else but there I think there definitely was some gamesmanship that was assumed from the French but it's worth noting this doping agency

I don't think is a French doping agency it's the world they cover all sport no Wata it's twice fucking sucks man yeah it's not Wada specifically it's not the world anti-doping agency but it's an organization that covers sport beyond cycling, I believe. I could be wrong about that.

But I'm pretty sure it's beyond cycling. And the agreement in place is that between the hours of 11 p.m. and 6 a.m., you won't be tested, but under unforeseen circumstances, you can be tested. So as... It sucks.

Which, and it does suck. And unforeseen circumstances doesn't, like, it doesn't matter. They can argue that later, but they already woke you up. But here is the thing that I think a lot of people are missing on it. And it was a thing that was infuriating for me when I walked downstairs to my basement where I'd watched the tour this morning. The TV was still going. And Peacock, they've picked up this piece of shit show called The Move with Lance Armstrong covering the day's races.

It's a lot like it's one of these multi-athlete desk shows, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's Lance Armstrong, Bradley Wiggins, who won the Tour de France in 2012 or 2013. blanking on which year he won it. But he basically, there was some controversy with he and Chris Frum, who ended up taking over leadership and being the guy. But he was the first British winner of the tour of this generation, maybe ever. I'm not sure.

But he's on the show with him, a convicted doper. George Hincappy is also on the show with him, who isn't generally all around nice guy, everyone perceives. But he's also Lance's right-hand man and a convicted doper, admitted doper, one of the worst dopers. and he wound up winning Perry Rubei dope to the gills. So it's infuriating to watch them this morning. They're like, well, I don't understand why it has to be like this.

NBA guys only get tested. Oh, for fuck, same. NBA guys only get, they said NBA guys only get tested four times a year and they have two weeks notice. I don't know if that's true, but if it is, fine, who gives the fuck? The NBA doesn't have a history. Who could have possibly created such a hypervigilant anti-doping culture? They were literally like, I don't understand why cycling is like.

Were they wearing hot? costumes while they said this. I'm yelling at my screen like, are you a fucking moron, George? It's because of you. You are the reason why they are doing this. You are the reason why Jonas Vinga Gogh

Viggo-I woke up at 2 a.m. in the morning. Not anyone else. This is dumb for business reasons too, because like the entire point of you having that show is that people know who you are. Yeah, but Peacock is 100% like, you know, be coy about it. Be coy about the fact that

you actually never wanted Tour de France because you cheated your way to seven of them. What do you do? Serber, did you see what Jonathan Votter's had to say about this? I would love to know because he's always got something quite uh,

Ryan, who is, so, you know, he's the manager of one of, I think it's one of the American teams in the tour. Yep, EF education.

He's also a former doper. Yes, and he has admitted to doping during his career. But he has been dedicated to anti-doping in the Peloton since basically, coming clean. So he posted on Twitter on Monday. Yeah, it would have been Monday even. Yeah, he posted on Monday. And he said, I don't post here much, but I'll roll this grenade down the aisle. 2 a.m. testing is one of the very effective ways to prevent peptide and testosterone microdosing.

If UCI, the agency in question, had tested us in 2001 at 2 a.m., we'd all have been suspended and saved the sport 25 years of trauma. So wait. Well, so wait, is the, is the thinking there that, is the thinking there, and I recognize there's no way to ascribe this like 100 percent, but is the thinking there that they, okay, we'll test them at 2 a.m. Then immediately they're going to turn around and do their night night meds. So we test them again at five. Well, no, no. They only they were only, they were only, Jonas was tested at two and Todi was tested at five. They were only tested. Okay. I misunderstood this the whole time because whatever headline I read made it sound like the same riders were woken up at two and then again at five now it's worth noting now i think

to get into this a little bit more though the consequence this is once again i'm saying that these tests should happen yes um i'm saying these tests should happen and they should happen whenever the fuck they want to come and do bang on your door this is part of the deal of being a professional cyclist it's a privilege to do that thing safety issue at some point though it i get it and it is for this reason too. Last night at 10 o'clock, riders at Red Bull, Borahansgro, the team of Rimcoe Evnapole were

their doors were knocked on at 10 p.m. Which is not 2 a.m. but still very late. It's still very late and the recovery the need for recovery during this race is insane. There are, I think, I can't remember the Italian rider it was, but

supposedly he would get to a hotel and if they had placed him on the second floor, he would refuse to enter until they had moved him to the first floor because he would not climb stairs. He said it was bad for his recovery. And like they are definitely, they definitely think this way. So like, it's a mental problem. Florian Lipowitz, who was fifth in the tour and the teammate co-leader of Remcoevenable play second, slid out on a time trial today and broke his collarbone.

He's out of the tour. So I think there is some consequence to this. If it happens to you, then like perhaps your recovery is interrupted. but, and I think if you're in the Peloton now, you perhaps have every right to say, this is bullshit, it's not fair. Even Remco was like, they shouldn't be able to do that.

Why does that 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. window even exist if they can claim extenuating circumstances. So it's, I'm guessing if you file, if you have to like register some sort of grievance against the time you were woken up, it has to be done after the fact and you're already awake and your sleep cycles fucked at that point.

From what I have read, it's not, it is, the extenuating circumstances, more or less we have reason to believe you are doping or about to like it's more or less like we have a search warrant for your blood but they can say that at any time so like yeah like i guess my question here is why even bother with the um sorry window dressing of having a window there or you supposedly don't have to deal with this it's for that it's for that only window dressing like and i'm sure the the the writers like

the the writer's like um association is like not cool with it but like this is the consequence of what it is now i think every writer has the right to say like this bullshit we shouldn't have to deal with this i think the sport has come a long way hopefully unless there is some revolutionary new doping that is going on i don't think they're blood doping with EPO like they well but as long as there is and as long as there's revolutionary dopeing there's going to be revolutionary anti-doping like this is this is a chase but yeah this is this is a sport that is uniquely positioned when it comes to this stuff and they kind of just have to eat shit when they're ended it look i i will admit i've been playing too much metal gear lately and maybe that's why

no such thing no such and i will also admit that what i'm about to propose is hugely invasive from a privacy perspective but i think as long as we keep it combined to participants in the tour that's okay i feel like we should just have nanomachines in that rider's blood that can sell it all taught like you can just sort of like type in code and say like this is what writer's blood looks like nano bike bots of course I know I know that the science in Metal Gear Solid is solid that's it's in the name famously so with that they wouldn't be allowed to call it they wouldn't yeah it wouldn't be a documentary video game series if it wasn't true people so like I don't know

that's just my feeling is we should just be able to sort of like boopoop oh this is what his whatever levels are we can tell right now oh he's Okay, just like Snake does. We are the, for the final week of the tour, we're climbing Alp Duaz twice. They've never done that before. They're coming up, they're going up Al-Dwez on... Help us baby cyclists, not cycling followers. Why did you make that noise?

Alpdwez, Al-Dwe, I believe, depending on the Department of France. Some may say it that way. The... Let me give you a clue. First of all, Al-Dwez is first listed not as a stage in the Tour de France, but as a ski resort. Oh! It's on the top of the Alps. Are they riding up it or down it?

So there's multiple ways to go up it. They're taking the hardest way, I think, the first day, which is stage 19, which will be, let's see, 16, 70. It would be Friday, I believe. And then the next hardest way is actually up the, it's like the cold of saron, which is also another alpine. They're in the Alps for this final. a week and so it's another alpine mountain that they climb and then they like do a little dip down and then climb up to the top of the alpid away like again from a like not the bottom of the alpid away there's going to be crazy there's an entire book written about it the title of which is the tour is one on

the alp so if it's in the race it is it is typically the you know put in like the penultimate stage or the final week there are a couple of mountains that that people shudder at when forced to finish on them. Alpdaway is one. Kolde Colibier is one. The Montvon-Van-Van-2 is another one. The Von-Two is a little, it's like the worst of the climbs,

but the way that they get to it, typically is like a long flat run-in. So that one's interesting in that people hit it, and there's like 70 riders in the group sometimes, 60 riders in the group sometimes. And then they hit that wall. For the non-initiated Alpdwez is average 8% gradient? Yeah.

There are ramps that go up to what? 13%. It's also got a shitload of hairpin turns. 21 of them? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. That is mouth noise worthy.

Yeah, you find the wheel. You stick to it. In the case of anybody in the podium, it's find Todd A's wheel or find Rimco wheel, find Isaac Del Toro's wheel, stick to it as long as you can and then try and accelerate in the final K. It's just going to be a suffer fest. This race is already blown open because 41 first place is over, or excuse me, 10th place is over 41 minutes down. Jesus. Or 11th place is over 41 minutes down, but yeah, it's not going to be close after this final

week because Tade is going to try and help Isaac to a point, but then he's going to take away, he's going to like take off in the final K every stage and get another 30 seconds. He probably mostly wants him to beat success for the white jersey, right? Yep, and finish on the podium. She wants him to finish on the podium in third. So like Pogacha is going to hold back some, but if Deltoro blows up, which he did in the Giro de Tadio that he should have won last year, then Tade will kind of take the gloves off and beat Remco to a pulp. Yeah. Also, hey, a writer almost got hit by a car.

That was a cow. tour is that even possible. Yeah, team and Aaron's men, it happens more often than you would think. Right, like, it's just like America. Like, there's dickheads on the road.

There's a guy who was, there was a guy who was just mad. He was just mad that the cyclists were on the road. Like, Mike and mute, gur? Yes, it's worth noting, like, when the, when the tour comes to your department, when it comes to your region, like,

it shuts everything down. The middle, it runs through the middle of your city, through your main street, and they close the, the roads and highways to get there but the national spirit that surrounds the race justifies it and means that there's very little pushback but just like here on super bowl sunday when people are you know or like the on the saturday before super bowl sunday they're like these fucking sports ball

idiots are the reason i can't make my grocery store run and they they get like it's the same thing you know busy listening to luke prigin yeah yeah oh i can neither fish no hunt no golf But I'm so pissed. I'm going to break my Renucleo directly in front of your tiny little emissated ass. Bank, eat bumper. Yeah. This is, this harkens back to a French tradition. You say the esprit of the tour where, you know, you go through the department and everyone's supposed to be like, oh, clear the roads.

Everybody has the civic agreement to sort of cooperate and make this happen. And we're not going to get like. We're on break. Yeah. Right. And we're not going to have like 500. cops who make this all happen. We're just going to kind of all go with the plan. That comes from a time when auto racing was this in France. And France did conduct the first auto races. And they did so

by doing this. All right, we got 10 rich guys in cars. Let's all go let's all get to Marseille as fast as we can. Are we going to warn anyone along the way? Fuck no. No, I'm not warning us all. Get out of the way, Mary Teresa. Like, people die. That was the tour as well. That was the tour. I'm sure it was based on the tour because it was earlier than the auto races like I'm sure because the tour would be like okay you have it's like we're going to go for about three or four days

and then we'll do another stage yeah or this was raids raids were a part of this riders would pull off they would just pull off into a cafe and they would just grab wine bottles they would just grab wine and liquor because they were in pain

yeah they were all so bad give me a beer This is my new song, drink, drink, drink, drink. Apply the vermouth. The arsenic. The morphine. The tour was won by hours for the first, I don't know, 20 editions of it.

But the raids, they would go in and like, like, ten cyclists would go in. You'd be having, you know, your two-hour French lunch, right? You're like, oh, my poulet, my pan, right, my fun. These ten dudes that just smell like pure ass. And these ten dudes who smell like pure ass whose eyes are wide open because they're on cocaine. Openly bleeding. Right? And they're just shoving rat poison in their mouths and cheese at the same time. Carrying like a spare tire around their neck while they come there.

Carrying a spare tire. They got a black eye because some Belgium was like, fuck you. These people were fucking crazy. The first year they tried to do the tour, no one signed up. They were like, fuck that. I'm not doing that. That's a terrible idea. That sounds like work.

But they would come in. They would take everything in the bar that they wanted. Everything. Bread. Fuck it. Your wallet. Whatever was there. They would just loot and they would get back on their bikes.

And eventually, like, your Domestique or the team would come up and they'd go, I don't know, man. What did they take? What do we owe you? And they would just kind of have to hash it out, right? And we're back to the apostles again. And I think that bought them some goodwill because inevitably they were overcharged, right? Like, how many bottles of wine? 73.

Really? Yeah. I have a gun and a big dog. Just kidding. Yeah. Just kidding. Yeah. And then I think there.

I think there's a big part to play of World War II in it as well. Like after World War II, the tour finally came back. It was like, we didn't, you know, we missed this. This is a beautiful thing now we can like, we can celebrate France. Like, you know, any opportunity to celebrate France, you know, and it became their big thing. And still, I think it's the most popular event in France. Unless, like, unless besides maybe the World Cup and what was that, 2008, when did they? I don't know. Perhaps that would be the only thing that really tops the tour is France hosting a World Cup.

Yeah. It's it is also basically an excuse to just sit and drink in the sun. That's right. What are you doing? I'm watching the tour. Is it will go by having cheese? I'm drinking. Yeah, they went by for hunting. I am fishing. I am golfing. Bring me my twink. I have my shorts. Twink, twink, bring me my fish. Gasson. Fetze. I have my fish, twink. Say hello, Philippe. Ah, it's enchanted.

Enchanté. That's your Tour de France update. Yeah, we told you that if you want to start, if you want to start one of the greatest events in the world, all you need to do is convoy and break the law for 100, your straight and eventually you'll become a marketable valuable resource to an entire nation. Hey, you want to do a little podcast business? Speaking of valuable resources.

Podcast business. What's that business? Podcast business. It's a business. Podcast business. Stealing wine from Jacques. We'll pay him back later because we're on a bike and we can't stop and we smell like total ass. So a few days ago when a little film came out.

It hit theaters. It's about, you could say it's about the Trojans. Sure, they're in it. They do some things in it. USC's social media handles did some like, all right, this is all about our Odyssey. And everyone reacted like, yeah, y'all are in this story. Yeah, in a way. So because of that, I just now, I have gone to USC's page at homefield apparel.com

to see what the Trojans. should be outfitted in for their journey to get fooled by a horse. And I got to say, they're going to be looking really great. There's a hat. These puffy trucker hats, I think, are great. I have a few of them. This one says Fight onto Victory, which is not what the Odyssey is about from the Trojan perspective, really. There's some cool old school stuff.

It's not when you enter the story. Fight on to Victory hoodie, which... They could have used? I think it would provide at least a little bit of armor insulation. But regardless, you're going to look really great. I think the shirt that I have come to that really might have changed things. The George Tyre Biter shirt, it's a scruffy little dog that says, bite on! And as you of course know, the Odyssey is a story about a dog.

Ultimately, it is a John Wick story. And this little fella would have really... That dog wouldn't have thought that was a horse. He would have been barking his head off. He would have smelled those people for sure. Yeah, they definitely smelled. They had just bit their asses. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As a movie makes clear, they're shitting on themselves and each other in there. And George Tirebiter, dogs love smells. Dogs aren't like, that smells good, that smells bad. Dogs are like, that smells interesting. There's like dead guys in there. That horse, the dog would have been like, p. That horse would have smelled fascinating to George Tirebiter, and I believe he would have saved the Trojans from their fate.

I guess the downside is if there's no, Odyssey because there's no Trojan War if you know blah blah blah I don't know I don't care but regardless if this dog had saved the city of Troy 3,000 years ago then would the Trojans have ever been interesting enough for USC to name themselves after them right like no one would really remember the Trojans so ultimately George Tirebiter would have saved Troy but doomed the USC Trojans by they would have been named the I don't know the something wouldn't even do football wouldn't even do sports yeah yeah yeah so

So like, with George Tirebiter could have ensured that, you know, Reggie Bush played somewhere else, whatever. Regardless, I think. God, this would have been great for UCLA. Shit. I mean, UCLA could have like, I mean, man, they might be in like the Big Ten or something. They might have a football program. Would. So I think if you are, if you are, if, if you are a, if, if, if you are a, if, if you are a, if, if, if you think it would be cool if the Trojans had not been obliterated.

at the start of the Odyssey. Then I think George Tirebiter is the guy for you, this is the one who could have fixed it all. If you're a UCLA fan, then you'd like the alternate history where George Tirebiter had defeated the horse. And, you know, if you're Notre Dame fan and you're like, what would it be like

if we didn't play USC? Can you imagine that? Again, George Tirebiter is the one who could have made that happen. Jason, thank you for inviting the vision of a person inventing a time machine to go back and snitch on the Trojan horse. It's a sick of dog

They're in there Hey, they're in there! To just set a To set a scrappy little dog on the beach In a sweater And let him do what a dog does I'm not putting my thumb on the scale of history I'm merely returning George Tyre Biter

To his place of rightful honor He was taken from I know horses Not horse Not horse That ain't no dang horse They're screaming at you probably stabbing you with spears because you're yelling at them in this weird language pointing out of snow putting out of horse they're like that guy's drunk no we're talking about a dog not me yeah yeah no i was saying you get sent the dog the dog is barking weirdly they're like oh that dog is barking like californian yeah ro-ro

there was me and my kid a while back go to homefield apparel dot com me and my kid a while back we're looking up how they write out like dog bark in other languages and like they're all so great um our favorite that is lingered to this day that's we say to each other all the time, supposedly, the French one is like, jape, jape. That's how French people describe dogs barking. It's like, jape, jape, jape. Why is your dog japeying? No wonder they haven't won the tour in 40s.

They do have that dog in them, but that dog is very fancy. The dog bit their tires. It's in the name. Jape, jape. Someone's robbing your house and shut up that dog. It will not stop jape. That's my list.

this is my favorite tour to France moment ever is when a rider hit this big golden retriever that was out in the middle of the path and when he hits it it's you could tell you're like this is this is a good eaten boy right this is a good like it's one of those corned head it's like 130 pound golden retriever and when he hits it iowa like offensive guard of dogs yeah um yeah it is and it's so happy that people are there visiting right it's like a bunch of people and you can see the they're going oh no no no no no no oh Oh, chien, no. And, um, like, amiz. Yeah, and, and the dog is like, oh, it's all, it's all right? And the biker hits it. And immediately the wheel, the wheel tacos. Like, it's like, it's like the dog isn't even budged.

It breaks the physics engine of the bike. It does, but it gets smacked. And the dog kind of, like the bike goes flying over the dog. Dog is fine. Dog has no injuries. Bike going 25 miles an hour has hit it. And the dog is like, huh? And the rider goes like, ass over tea kettle, like eight feet the end.

other way. And the dog knows something has happened, but isn't sure what. And this is from the aerial cam, right? And Phil Liggett is narrating. It was like, oh, the dog's looking a bit perplexed there. And the dog looks around like, oh, oh, something bad. What happened? What? The riders

are like, fuck. Oh, my collar both broke. The dog is like, I'm going to go take a nap. Just water is off. Star of the tour. I just, I just want to know, if you're a person who usually skips through the ad, And this time you didn't, but like this time you didn't, now you realize, oh shit. Yeah.

There was valuable content in that. There's more show in the ad. So we should be sure to do this every time. Slip in a. Go to homefield apparel.com for lots of dog garments. There, you know, lots of tools. Horses. You'd name the fucking animal.

Nymphs who will strand you on a beach. That should be a mascot, probably. Probably. Drug nymph. Drug nymph. I've decided to enroll at drug nymph. university. Yeah, this is our, this is our student section, Dick Prison.

This is Florida Gulf Coast drug nymphs. There's going to be one of those Florida basketballs. Whatever majors they got is, those are mine. Homefieldapparel.com. Additionally, at patreon.com slash shutdown fullcast, we're doing a, let's put the like this, we're putting a multiple episodes at some point in the near future. We have solicited at patreon.com for your questions, the episode ideas. blah, blah, blah.

You know, obviously we won't get to all of them. You send in hundreds of items. You guys send us so much good stuff. Yeah, there's plenty to work with. We're going to get two fun episodes out of this, and then we'll see additionally how many more we get along the way. We're keeping track, if you can believe it or not. Multiple of us really do like making spreadsheets,

so we are keeping track of these ideas. Patreon.com slash shutdownfulcast. Of course, as you know, after dark starts in a number of weeks. I'm not going to count how many, but around the time the season starts, we'll see exactly when. But yeah, patreon.com slash shutdown forecast. It's still July. We're going to live forever. It's fine.

Yeah, that's a problem for future me. Yeah. Well, keep this quick. You should subscribe to Channel 6, the newsletter that Holly and I write two things a week for the low price of $10 a month. Got some World Cup stuff coming up for you. Got the last few off-season newsletters, because that's coming up too, the free version that you can subscribe to.

just your email. But of course, you should become a paid subscriber because all the good shit's about to come down the pike book college football preview stuff, a review column that we write the top, whatever, throughout the year. On and on and on and on. We can have a little something that's not Channel 6, but I suppose we'll talk about that next week. Yeah, well, just a little, little something. Little bonuses for you. So. A little treat. Yeah. The, the, listen, we broke, we broke the knob off the content faucet a long time ago. It's just run. Yeah, we could use some, we're going to do a raid. We're going to come to your house. We're just going to take a bunch of liquor, and then someone will come along

in like three hours and be like, what did they take? Channel 6, subscribe. Enjoy. I'm going to say that in an episode where we opened somehow talking about the Gospels and the apostles, I should probably like once a year plug the Vacation Bible School podcast, a podcast I do with my wife, Emily. Our most recent episode is still the one that Spencer did over a year ago. but we have talked about getting around to recording a follow-up episode so you know it's a good time to catch up also at this point it's all so old that you've forgotten listening to it so you might as well go back through the vacation Bible school podcast we have a lot of fun talking about things that too often people don't know how to have fun talking about if you go to Phantom

Island where you listen to anywhere you listen to podcast this week we have partial tape of Robbie at SEC Media Days talking about inseminating turkeys. That's all I'm going to tell you. Yep, Semester's making a face of like, oh my God, you found it. We've found the ancient scrolls. With help, we have secured partial audio of Robbie Caldwell. This is history. Vanderbilt interim head coach for 2010, clearly not prepped, talking about working on a turkey farm.

Not just any position on the turkey farm. No, insemination specifically. I'm only interrupting you because I was in the turkey farm. the room. So I learned, I learned, Turkey insemination room. I learned to say that Godfrey was in the room as well. I didn't know that. He's pretty sure he was sitting with

you and Spencer. He was. We have a whole episode about, Richard Johnson was somewhere adjacent. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, we get into it on this episode of Phantom Island. We didn't know what was happening either. We have Matt Stahl from A.L.com on to talk

about how this tape has been impossible to find for years. I'm actually retroactively offended that I'm not in this episode. You are now. You're the connective tissue right here. Gross. Sorry. Phantom Island.

That show. It'd be like that. You can search for killer ants with a Z and listen to my music. Apparently people in Bonn Germany are listening to it. What's up, Bonn? So much better than Byrne. Do they have a Z in their alphabet there? I don't know.

Does Germany have a Z? Yes. Dasstein does Z? There's no way to know. No, they do. I think it's impossible. According to Google AI, it's a Zet. But it's AI, so that's probably not sure.

Dasisthine a Zet. Also, it's apparently, oh, right, there was a whole Russia-Ukraine thing with this. We'll bail out of that pretty soon. Narlie. Okay, yep, listen to Killer Ants. We're a rock band. Forget your problems. Or think more about them, actually.

I think about the lyric for content. Let us help you make. new ones. Yeah. You got emotional problems? Check me out. Anybody else got business? No. We got the store still. We should talk about the store real quick.

Right? We did just send a $1,400 donation thanks to a very generous matching donor to the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico. You're welcome. That's proceeds from our PTQU merch collection at our

exclusive merchandise shop, which is available only at pre-owned airboats.com. Real website, not a trap. We have other stuff in there, too. We'll probably get around to adding new stuff in there one of these days, or maybe not, because Ryan's leaving us forever. Shit. You've designed, like, the last 12 things that have gone in here.

I know, and I enjoy doing it. And honestly, if I had one part of this show that I would do is my actual job and I had to get rid of everything else, I would just make dumb stickers about this show. It does bring me a great deal of joy. I don't think these are dumb. stickers at all graphic design is our passion it is they look we have we really worked ourselves into a shoe re our love of graphic design all right and I think that concludes podcast business if you say so boss blah but bow bow wow so

speaking of let's see boy stress I guess it's a tour it's a tour right the original tour yeah tour day Mediterranean then in Canada if you believe certain theories out there. Odysseus went to Canada. This is a popular thing, apparently. So, yeah, who all has seen the big movie? I've seen the big movie. I've seen the big movie.

Ryan, you have not seen the big movie. Server, you have not seen the big movie. No, I saw one from, like, the 60s. It was fucking sick. Was it? I think so. I don't remember. I was like four.

It is really funny to me how few adaptations... Oh, you mean Troy? Do you mean Troy? Yeah, I saw Troy. Yeah. Okay, so yeah, obviously that's what I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, this feels like the kind of thing where it's like,

there should be like 18 adaptations, you know? And it's only a thing where, like, people can say like, oh, no, there's no brother, where are there? Yes, we all know that was based. But, like, it is very funny how few times this has been in a big movie. I think we should start making up things. I think we should start saying, like, nope, Battlefield Earth, that's based on the Odyssey.

You didn't know. You probably didn't know it. Probably didn't realize it. to see itself i suspect a lot of people looking at it and they were like that sounds like word a hundred percent they picked up they picked up a book a translation they were like not too thick can't work with that too many pages that apparently there were a lot of filmmakers who thought oh it's unfilmable and it's like i mean a guy goes to a place and goes to a different place and i mean it's it's a mess like like homer's just there's like about 40 minute period story structure ain't been

invented yet no i really It really hadn't. Like, of course it's a mess. But like, I get it when somebody's like, well, if you approach filmmaking from the perspective of a normal person and you say, well, we have to explain why there's this monster in the rocks and a world pool, it's going to fuck you up, right? Listen, man, we have, we are living in a time where Dune and the Odyssey have successfully been translated into popular films that lots of people watch. You can't say anything's unfilmable after this. You cannot say it. Like, movies, monsters in a movie?

And people are like, oh my God, who would ever? How could there possibly? Every fucking movie has a monster that comes out of the water and what have you. Oh, there's a weird guy in a cave. We can't possibly adapt to this. It's like a weird guy in a cave. Listen, we all. Brendan Fraser's the Mummy much?

Another perfect film. Can I tell you the cave produced my favorite part of the movie? because Ryan this doesn't like I know that there's no such thing as as spoilers for the Odyssey but I don't want to like I don't want to like rob you too much

of your good time but that's okay there's this when they first get to get to the cave there is this one sheep who like they follow this one sheep into the cave and of course many more sheep eventually come but this first ram that the camera follows into the cave like

settles himself down by Cyclops little campfire with such assurance and the camera lingers on him for just a beat and I was like, is this sheep gonna fucking talk? And honestly, I wouldn't have been mad if it started talking. But it was like, it was, he settled down with this air of like, it was like,

what's up, sluts? I'm the mayor of sheep town. Get your asses over here. It's the most good evening bitches sheep I've ever seen in my life. It's like, this here is sheep country. The movie really emphasizes this theme of like hospitality versus hostility. So like, if this sheep speaks,

it could really go toward one of those directions. Hey, there's some house rules you should know about here in Sheep Town would have been useful. We do things little differently here in Sheeer. Which one are you going to fetch me my golf and my hunt? I'm John T. Edge and I'm being eaten alive by a one-eyed giant. Here in the Ionian Islands,

there are these men. They make meat. Cyclops fetters made a little differently down these parts. As you boys know, I'm going to eat one of you Despite being a sheep. Here again, a small dog, very helpful. Always. Yeah, not even a medium-sized but loud dog. Very helpful.

I think for me, this movie, it resonated to anyone who has ever had the sense of wanting to get the fuck out of here. There is a lot of that. And I think, you know, as a person who will always argue with nuance on the subject of whether the beach is good or not. Sometimes the beach is the best place in the world.

Sometimes the beach is the worst place in the world. This movie specifically is about leaving beaches. And I think I would argue that Nolan has thus surpassed even ultimate beach hater M. Knight-Sharmelon himself as the premier beach disliker in all of cinema. This is a very fuck-this beach in particular. For the guy who had a variety of beaches. This is the guy who made the Dunkirk movie,

which is, fuck this beach. This is the guy who, in any, Interstellar the single worst thing that happens is being by the ocean for too long We spent how much fucking time by the ocean? I was thinking about this movie this movie where there were complaints from people who were like oh They used American English. They should have used the authentically accurate Shakespearean British Matt Damon delivers one of the greatest Matt Damon delivers one of the most appropriate lines in all of cinema. He says we got to leave this fucking beach

They're sick of being on the beach of Troy and they go to desperate they take desperate measures in order to get the fuck off that beach Then they go into a horse the horses itself stuck on the fucking beach This is two instances already if you if you if you if you blind the story up chronologically Which of course is Nolan so it's not but we have two instances with the two first things that happen are people being sick of being stuck on the fucking beach right? Then the journey begins blah blah blah skipping a lot of things at one point of as mentioned Odysseus ends up stuck with the beach nymph Charlize they're on for seven years it's horrible

oh it's horrible she gives him the greatest cushion the world oh it's totally honey I swear to God it was a vital vital mission I was I could not possibly anyway there is Panama City Beach police police needed me for their investigations you don't understand before that

again it's a no one movie because I was in pain she's just my massage therapist he was investigating for sure yeah the weed lady was just my massage therapist so before that him and the boys are really hungry so they go to this island where they're like

oh hell yeah we're on this beach and there's all these all this meat we're not allowed to eat I bet this will go great but the wind keeps them again stuck on that fucking beach until they're like oh no we have to eat the curse of bad meat the one of the keys is to find the secrets to the way blah blah

blah blah they have to go to the beaches of hell um where by the way elliot page delivers the hardest acting of the entire thing on the beach of hell but again you're stuck on the beach of hell and this is where there's the again the much mocked line from the trailer of matt damien saying let's go he's not saying let's let's go get the fuck off let's get off the beach let's get off hill beach um it keeps going i feel like i'm forgetting several can i can i add one thing to this even though i haven't seen it yeah yeah all of the suitors at Penelope's, at Odysse's his house with Penelope. You know where they're not?

They're all like, this is house. We're not at beach. House is awesome. This is. Watch. Oh, I love being in house. Indoor. Indoor boys.

On the beach. And he's like, where the hell am I? The beach of I finally home. And he's like, where the hell am I? And then he's like, oh, shit, I'm home. The Odyssey has truly just begun. He's still got so much more work to do. He's on this beachy, this beachy rocky place and he's still got beached ahead of him.

And how did he even get there, by the way? by submitting himself fully to the ocean. Surrendering to the winds of beach, Bessitin, God of the Beach. So in just three hours, half the fucking movie is about being sick of the beach. Can I tell you, too, okay, I found out something very important this weekend,

which is there is something about Matt Damon that not everybody knows. I, too, was dismayed. I admit, I was wrong about this. I, too, was dismayed initially because there were lists of actors coming out you know, a couple years ago who were supposed to be in this in this Christopher Nolan movie, and they weren't saying who was who.

I too was dismayed when I was like, Matt fucking Damon is playing who in what? Not too long after that I had a realization where, and I think I even post about this. I have receipts. You can go search my post for this, whatever. Where I thought this might have secretly been an inspired choice on Chris Nolan's part, not just because of looking back at where and how he has used Matt Damon in his movies before, but because the thing that not a lot of people know about Matt Damon, do you guys know anything about his family like not his parents his his his his wife and children i know

she's argentinian because this came up during the world cup final okay yeah he's been married to he's been married for like 20 years uh his wife had one daughter from a previous relationship who he then raised as his own they then proceeded to have three additional daughters matt damon has four daughters, all of whom look like their mom, who is herself a great beauty. Buddy, I have never felt an act. And he's not a method guy. Like he has done interviews where he talks about, like, working with other method actors like Christian Bale and what that's like.

So this is not for him. No one, nobody else in Nolan's stable that I can think of, nay, on earth. had the depths of exhaustion and aggravation to draw on like a man who has four daughters who are in their 20s. This man has not known a moment's piece for at least two decades. He would love to fish hunt. He has not had a full night of sleep. I heard it. There was a couple times where I just like, it was so, you could tell he was just, he was digging deep and he was pulling all.

He's like, no, we can't land there. It's the sun god's island. Jesus fucking Christ. It was not born yet. I see what you're saying. Parent of that many kids, like there's a moment. And, you know, blah, blah, blah. There's no way to spoil the story, but there are fun moments that.

So when his guys are eating the cursed meat, he walks over and he looks down. And he is not so much in his, like, gravely Odysseus voice that he has cultivated. It is Matt Damon voice. He looks down at him and he says, Did you think if you dug a hole the son God wouldn't see you eating? Yes! That! Yeah, exactly!

That was one of the other moments. It's so resigned. It is so fucking good. Like, he fucking kills it. Everyone in this movie kills it. But the moments where you see he's just playing Matt Damon are incredible. And, like, and knowing that it made it a richer text for me, knowing that he had the experience of four fucking daughters, which is a very different, like, gender is a construct. Four daughters is a different set of problems than four daughters.

I think because that in sense, you're, you're, it's not because, like, like, it's not because, like, like girls are more this or that. It's just more like they are all on a side. Correct. You are the lone person on your side. Not only is it four on one, but in the overall balance of the house, it's five on one.

And also, so you're playing zone solo. So like it would be the same as being the mother of four boys and a, and a husband. But beyond that, it's also not, it's also, you can't, you actually can't do the like, well, girls are this? You're like, oh no, There's different armor types and classes and, oh, you have these powers?

That one didn't have these. That was a fire spurt. You're a tank. What the shit? I don't know how to do this. God damn. This one's weird in this way and this one's weird in that way. Right.

But also, like, ultimately. This one really liked that. And this one is poison? What? But also ultimately, like when he knows what is going to happen to his men and they don't, ultimately you will never be able to completely relate to them. Mm-hmm. Because you have never, you have never been through,

there are lived experiences that they're having that you're never going to be able to have. Chain yourself to the mask, man. Yeah. In a sense, it's very much like, I don't know about this one. Go ask your mom, but your mom is not around. We're trying to get to your mom, okay? If you would just let me. If you would just get off the beach, we could go find my mom.

Let me randomly charge in a random direction on the Mediterranean. We would possibly somehow get the gods to stop being pissed off at us. yet again, we can get to your mom. I swear to God, if you don't stop saying what you're saying, I'm going to go live with Charlize Theron for seven years. I'm willing to take that sacrifice. I'm not the one who banged the beach nymph for seven months. Can you imagine, like there again, he can pull from that too.

Imagine the faces of your four daughters as you pull back into the driveway, having been stuck on a beach with Charlize Theron for seven years. Right? She doesn't even begin to cover it. This movie is very much about guilt. It was for medical reasons. There's a lot of discourse about how much of that is Nolan adding versus pulling out of what is already there.

And I think it is a very strong, very strong, well-written theme. I think it's an interesting choice, interesting adaptation. The image that you have presented, Holly, I think, really captures the spirit of the film. I'm like, I can't go home and face my wife. I have an alternate comparison, which I think that, and this is, you say, hey, we've gotten an hour and a half plus into this podcast, and we've barely touched a football. Friend, about to put my hand right on that oven. Bang.

Because this is, this is, football in it. Yeah, this is about coaching. That's what this movie's about. It's about setting the tone and creating a culture. It's about, listen. And we're not necessarily good coaching. It's about coaching. Listen, what does he do?

What does he do? Here is a coach who has had to learn how to be a coach. And listen, first, Odysseus, you know what he is? He's got some good FCS experience. He becomes a coordinator at the FBS level. His coach, doesn't care. Kind of a dick, right? Bound for game.

Very much a CEO just wants to look cool. Exactly. Agamemnon is head coach Batman Undertaker. I'm a little worried that Odysseus is Norv Turner. And the Trojan War is those like, Cowboy Super Bowls. If you told him he coached the Chargers. We're like, hell yeah.

Look at us. We're champs of the world, baby. And then you're like, all right, what's next? And it's like, well, Washington, San Diego, Miami, Oakland, San Francisco, San Diego, and Cleveland, Minnesota, Carolina. It's like, I'm getting some John Harbaugh here. It's like, damn, what a big win. And then success of no consequence.

My fine love is killing Trojans. my friends. I can't we do it. 20 years of, well, you, that's kind of amazing how well you did, but just keep it, keep it moving, brother. That's all we got it. She may have been visible. She may have been not, but we have all had those moments where, and not a word was spoken, but you turn your head, and there's the goddess of wisdom. Yeah. She's looking at you, and if, and if her thoughts could have a caption, it would be in all caps 20 foot high on the screen, there would be one word, and she would just be saying, dude. Really? Yeah. Like there was the the

The cast was talking about like getting praise from Nolan And how like how hard it is to really get him to be abusive And like It was like, it was like Damon was like the best I ever got was like That's pretty good And Hathaway is like wow I got like one awesome And I felt incredible and then they're like Zendaya she was just getting perfect

Like Gordon Ramsey when he like Oh dear oh dear She's fucking amazing dude Matt Damon is getting the like You fucking donkey She's in it for like four total minutes. She says maybe a paragraph of lines.

All she does is cut looks at Matt Damon and she's fucking flawless at it. There's a, at one point on their press tour, which has been an audacity in itself. But for real, God bless them. This is so many costing changes. Matt Damon and Tom Holland are doing a joint interview. I feel like this was for GQ. But Zendaya was helicoptering in from Dune. Like they would like was having to fly back and forth to do all this shit.

So like on top of like, and, you know, she's got Spider-Man coming out this summer too, and she's flying in and out, and they're there for much more of the time than there, because they're in much more of the movie than she is. But they're talking about this one day. I forget if it was her first day, but Nolan is famously, he's not like a tyrant. Like this is not a David O. Russell situation. He is famous for running extremely, we are here to work. This is a place of work type sets.

Like he plans out his shoots for a really long time. He knows what he wants with a shots. and he goes and gets them. And it's not a lot of, he's not a chit-chat guy, right? And they've been shooting for however many months already. I think this happened in Iceland. Matt Damon and Tom Holland had been getting, you know, their usual little tiny kibbles and bits of praise from Nolan.

And Matt specifically was like, you know, he won't tell you like you did good or that was good. You know, they'll call cut and he'll be like, all right, that's it. Next one. He'll ask for another one and then, you know, you fucked up. And if he doesn't ask for another one, you know, you keep it moving. One of the first days she was there Zendaya had like flown in that day and done a scene and they ended and he was like oh Magnificent and Matt and Tom said they both turned to each other and they're like has he ever called you Magnificent? No and she left the next day but he said for like the next week they would just like bitch it like this was all told in like a friendly jocular tone

but they would just they would bitch at each other privately of like he didn't give me any fucking compliments today it was hilarious. The other one I really liked This part of that reminded me of this. In the crowd I was in for, I saw it Friday night at the IMX. The, there's a look that Anne Hathaway cuts at Tom Holland during her big speech moment. Where he's talking about like, I'm going to run shit? She shoots a look at him and a dude like right behind me yelped as if it was a jump scare. And it gets better because this is, people.

During the trailer when people were pretending to be mad about this movie, they screenshot this moment, this speech, and they said, oh, Botox face can't act. Dog, she acted so fucking hard, a man who wasn't even in the movie flinched and yelped about it, all right? I know the exact shot you're talking about. It was incredible. Like, her eyes are, and also this is an argument for seeing it at IMAX. I cannot imagine how much harder that hits when the eyes themselves are 10 feet high. I was I was particularly taken by like the last like the last point bit with this crew because it's the point where I think from one perspective you have Odysseus being told by the gods very conveniently. These guys are going to make it. You're the only guy.

You're the only real guy. They're just they're dead. They're already. They're pre-dead. They're just so dead. And Odysseus being like, oh, oh, oh, this is awful. How terrible. when you go, from another perspective, his crew is like, this dude's a fucking terrible manager.

Oh, my God. He got so many of us killed. He tied himself and listened to the sirens for no fucking reason. Like, oh my God, this dude, absolutely. No, not for no reason. That's a real, I could land a plane. Shit. No, it is the most like, well, I smell bitch.

I'm not a bit. Like, it is the most like. Is this the original built different? Yes. It is. I would simply hurdle the whirlpool. That's the moment I quit. That's the moment I quit the job.

Sorry to the gods, but. Yeah, he's like, yeah, time me to the mast. I got this and you're like, oh, God, they got a fire this fuck. Oh my God. He's so, we gotta have a better system of doing this shit. He's gonna get us all fucking killed. He's like, I told you not to eat the cattle and you're like, it doesn't fight, just let's and fuck it.

He very much is like, it's all respect to the sirens, but I don't know. That is literally what they do. Yeah, he shows up. Like, he shows up back home and they're like, so, where are your men? They were doomed. They were all. I tried. I will not tell you the odyssey of how my men died.

The fate's woven against them. The rest is incredibly important that having arrived in this island, I immediately get the fuck out of here. Yeah. So the ocean was real mad. Was it something you did? We could talk about other things. I, uh, Poseidney.

You're going to believe your lying eyes are the relentless rage of the God of the ocean. Poseidon was having a bad day. Is that my fault? Who could say? Detective Stabler, I don't have to answer these questions. There's a lot of that. Right?

He's like, so that was two years, right? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. So about the other seven. What about the other seven? Can I get some water? Yeah, I got to be honest.

I was fresh. Fresh water? Did you hear that over there? Robert Pattinson is doing something nefarious. God bless. Jason, he horny, horny, horny. Jason, I really wish you were in our screening when Robert Pattinson was camped out by the weapons responding. Shouting the names of weapons.

So, dude, incredible. Like, there is not a lot in a Nolan movie that is camp, but Robert Pattinson was camping his ass off in every sense of the word in that scene. I just love, on a sidebar, I love that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart both got free of the Twilight Board, got through all that mania and was like, we're going to make nothing but weird shit for the rest of our lives. This got to happen at some point. They got to do a movie and make it as weird as they both want it to be. Make her Robin. Put her in the next Batman. I love it. That's really an idea.

Even when he's playing Batman, he's playing a weird little guy. Make her his Joker. How about that? It is such a spark of casting. I think you and I are going to do this forever. Like he shows up as, you know, the king of the suitors, right? Like the leader of the suitors. He shows up and you're immediately like, pervert.

Yeah. Here's a pervert. I cannot wait to watch that dude get shot. Yeah, that's awesome. Is he going to act like a pervert? He just like cringes and you go, oh, yeah, yeah. Why does he have a long cigarette? That's sweet.

Is he going to say the word beggars, like a racial slur? And like, just make you think, I am going to relish this dude getting shot. He kicked the dog and then, like, I made like I was going to jump out of my seat. Like, I had to stop myself. It's like both, okay, that is how you establish a ultimate bad guy. that is like the, you know, cheap heat, yeah, but also totally in character, completely validly in character. It's really a comedy of manners, this whole thing, because it's basically about having manners. That's it.

Yeah. Yeah, the whole thing's about manners. I think it's also a fight between PlayStation boys and outdoor boys. I think Nolan is like, the suitors are the indoor boys. They stay in all day, eat hot chip lie and play PlayStation, right? sitting around running my damn light bill up can't even string a fucking bow

leaving my damn garage door open all my damn AC blowing out under the fucking ocean leave on my AC mess with my woman right rude to the lady of the house kicking up my dog running up a goddamn Uber Eats bill

like you never seen that's right hey can we get wing stop can we get wing stop can you fucking wig stop and and And Anne Hathaway, the entire time is like, Jesus fucking Christ, Zeus is going to fucking smite me if I don't get these dudes more pizza and beard. Anne Hathaway herself might be playing a god in disguise in this movie, a theme of the movie, for not personally murdering all the people around her who are like, I can't believe you don't want to fuck one of these guys.

Right, yeah. Don't look at these glorious potential husbands. We're not going to pick one of us. We've gotten, okay, it is a mark of how good in the performances are that we've gotten this far into this, and we have not even brought up John Bernthal, who I was prepared to love. I'm laugh at the entire time. He's perfect. I was like, he's, he's going to play king punisher. Yep. Let me tell you, Spider-Man, war is fucking hell.

You know, what you're going to do is, when you go home, Spider-Man, I need you to kill all those motherfuckers who are trying to fuck your mom, Spider-Man. Yeah, you know, my brother, you know. I'm going to shoot this fucking bird. Blam! He's too trusting. I forgot until I saw them walking together through the fucking Olive Grove that he's even in this next Spider-Man. Yeah, there are two Punisher Spider-Man movies. They're going to be one and two in the box office.

God. Basically, John. Okay, and he comes on screen. Like, I cracked up when he got on screen. And I feel bad about that. But I was prepared to keep cracking up. No, he fucking sold it. Everyone did an amazing job in this movie.

There's, like, some memes about, oh, Tom Holland was being out-acted. Like, no. He was perfect. John Leguizamo in the house. Leguizamo is getting, I already feel like Leguizamo's performance is getting overshadowed. and this movie's been out for like four days. He needs to like awards are stupid. I don't care.

He should win every. He should be buried in trophies. Yeah. Like he should win every award under the sun. That was the best performance in the movie. He was great and that's coming after the stellar achievement that John Bernthal pulled off of A, not being John Bernthal recognizable. But completely.

But he also was. And then B. Time traveling punisher. Saying the most eloquent. Oh God, this would kill Christopher Nolan. I hope he never. hears this and he won't and that's good doing the most eloquent these hoes ain't loyal speech i've ever heard in a movie okay listen uh chris nolan has worked with travis scott on two movies now he's

probably more literacy is the first and last voice you hear but i love having a rapper in that role yeah like i wish i wish it wasn't travis scott put andre 3 000 in that role right yeah i was like travis scott in a crowded room he's gonna bring the flute you know andre's gonna bring the Oh my god, Travis Scott, there's too many people in the room. Oh, my God. Yeah, I was like, well, that's how I forgot for a minute that he did, like the, that he did the song from Tenet. I was like, oh, they cast him for his experience watching people being trampled who were just trying to have a good time. I would say my personal, like if we're handed out six, six man awards, right?

Like, not lead actors from this movie. Elliot Page for me. But it's so hard because everyone fucking brought it. There's no, there are no, there are not, is not a weak link in this thing. We also got a shout out the soundtrack by White Boy of the Century, Ludwig Gorinson. He did the music from Sinners, Oppenheimer, Timmett, like the... Atlanta. He did all of the music for Atlanta.

This unbelievable breadth as a musician, and then this one is using like bronze gongs and shit. Can we hold here for a second? Because there's one thing I want to talk about, my favorite, favorite part of this movie, is I kind of think that it's beautiful, that everyone has been mad. The worst people in the world have been mad for months about Lepida, about Elliot Page, about Zendaya, who are in this movie for like 6% of the movie's runtime, but who still don't deserve a single slinger arrow that they got. But there is a bigger fuck you to those people in this movie. And it's Travis Scott. It's Travis Scott whose voice is the first you hear and whose voice is the last you hear.

We're going in and I'm like, oh man, Travis Scott, what are we going to get a fucking rap over the closing credits? Yeah, we are. Guess what? So here's the thing that, and I saw some people floating around like, oh, like the rap so it's like the Greek storytellers of bold. No, that's not actually where we get the word rap, as least as far as I know. I did like, I did some fairly like not extensive. I shouldn't say that. I did a little bit of homework on this.

Rap as it's used in English actually enters the Oxford English dictionary as the striking verb, as in like to strike in the mid-1500s. possibly also coming in from repartee. But anyway, I don't think it matters that there's not a direct causal, like linguistic path from rhapsodes to rappers. What matters, and I think what is fucking beautiful, is that Christopher Nolan is parking a rapper at the start of the movie and at the end of the movie, and pointing directly at him and saying,

hey here is the air this is what the air to the modern air to the oral storytelling tradition is and I'm going to make $500 million in one weekend telling everybody so I fucking love that man

I love everything about that except I think there's an even bigger fuck you which is in one of the scenes one of the islands that it sucks to go to which is Matt and the boys roll up that on the map. Matt and the boys roll up and there's way bigger boys there. All right. And it's like the island of giants. Oh my God. How'd they do this? Did they film it with

perspective? No. They literally found some seven foot dudes and put armor on. They found a bunch of wimbies and put armor on them. And then they had really short stunt doubles. Adysius's stunt double for part of this scene is a woman who is four foot five. All right? So the greatest warrior in the history of Western literature and blah, blah, blah, blah, was for at least a second in the biggest ever adaptation of that story played by a woman. Her name is Devin Dalton. She looks like a superhero compacted down. She's jacked as fuck.

Damon said she has the greatest arms I've ever seen. But like, Odysseus played by a woman. Fuck you. That's so cool. Yeah. Ryan, this is like kind of maybe a spoiler earmuffs or take your earphones off for a second. But like I say that like Lou Pita and Zendaya and Elliott Page are on screen for like six minutes and that's like you know I get that there's wishing they had more to do but also like

you know they're not on the boat what do you want they're not on the boat yeah but he's not just no one gets this criticism for some of the way he he deals with female characters that I completely disagree with and and we'll fight people over and that's another three hours for another day but it's not the time that they get is not throwaway time there's a there's a shot where the moment where he points to the camera and he's talking about synon and he's like the finest young man I have ever known. Yeah. It's not subtext, bitches, it's text.

And like, the importance that you ultimately realize of the characters Indea is playing. And, like, it's not screen time. It's, it is vital screen time, right? Mm-hmm. And, yeah, it is funny with Nolan how much, like, 2008 to 2010 circumstances, criticisms, people just repeat them unthinkingly. Oh, he made a movie about Morgan Freeman turns off the Patriot Act once they kill Ben Lod. therefore he's right wing right um if people just repeat the movie where all the cops are bad is a

conservative actually one good cop that's right wing right and now he's made a movie where uh yes it's he's hearkening back to something that is gone and that is on a surface level kind of conservative but the thing that is gone oh you know it's taking care of immigrants right oh what a right winger, right? Fuck you. It's just so unthinking, man. And ultimately, what a really funny Trojan horse. This movie turned out to be in so many ways.

And it's just like, I love it because it made the worst people in the world mad for all the wrong reasons. And it comes wrapped in so many other bigger things that they would get mad about it. If they had an ounce of critical faculty and they fucking don't. And I like the movie. Or if you just, if you just. if you just didn't appreciate a movie that comes down to a bunch of guys being like,

hey, mom, get us pizza rolls. That's it. Central conflict in the movie. It's not between man and nature. It's between suitor. It's between man's inhumanity to mom. It's between man and man child. That's a really good joke, I promise.

That's it. Also, the cured of male loneliness is finding a terrible manager and following him to your death. Cured of male loneliness is hanging out with Charlize there on drugs. drug beach at ass beach he wasn't lonely he wasn't lonely he's like he's like

how long are you going to keep me imprisoned here dog that's the floor in the section of the movie how long how long foul witch are you going to keep me trapped here i got a little habit i was into piling up driftwood

uh i i take a PCP simply didn't have a boat uh i really hate that i mean for a number of reasons damn you jeney But I hate that song of the South was made by a bunch of insane racists Because the concept of a briar patch and being put into one

It's so good and we just had every use a great Anything put Charlie's there on beach This is this is what listen Please don't put me in the Banana Republic drug briar pass What hell I'm in? Also this the movie on the the trailers before this movie One is like there's a horror movie Where there's too many Jessica Chastain's and that's the

And she's very flexible No, not her. Shit. Oh, no. I'd better investigate this. I'm a paranormal investigator. Jason, did you guys get the Dune clip before yours? Or was that just?

Honestly, if we did, I was more thinking about, like, what if they were two Jessica tested? I can't. So I probably missed entirely. See, these stories are timeless. And then we saw the movie where there's two Lupida Njongos. Like, what do you want me to think about, man? What are supposed to think about? Hey, here's...

Now there's two for Lawrence Pughes. She didn't hatch out of a fucking swan's egg. Right, yeah. This is not biblically accurate. She didn't hash. She wasn't born from Zeus's skull. The idea of you stun locked from... I mean, I don't really give a fuck about Dune 3.

I'm going to see Dune 3 anyway. It's just you with your hair of of Jessica Chastain's on ass beach, eating the lotus flower, and you're like, I'm broke. I can't afford this much sunscreen. The two, Jessica. Chastains won't let me leave. They keep tagging each other out. I'm booked.

They got only the strongest weed. We smoke way too tough. Jessica Chas chains. My lobster's so buttery. I can't leave. This is actually what, not a lot of people know this, this is actually what the Michael Bolton documentary Steel Bars was about.

I can't escape this. More weed, Jason? No. Oh, no. Too many Doritos. This beach is cursed with what? Proximity to quality takeout and door dash selections. It's like it's literally the beach from like those Seallis ads.

Like if you pin up this a little bit further, there's two bathtubs sitting side by side. The beach where your dick is always hard. Which I do believe was textually the problem. I think that was there's a part like like last thing. There is a moment when Calypso looks at him and goes, you were happy. And the subtext there. like, find the lie, brother. She's got you there.

And listen, every good, every story is, you know, every story continues on right after the curtain closes is the idea. And this is a smart idea for where to make an exit. Because please note that Odysseus gets Penelope onto the boat at the end, a new boat. and we all sail happily to the sunset before she's like so who's Calypso note note they sail west

which indicates to me that Calypso was east I will honor my men that away nothing to see over there wait does she follow you on Facebook don't don't no no no I swear I blocked her I swear I blocked the weed nymph

I know you've been going for seven years but this Instagram algorithm is crazy. Yeah, it's weird. I got hacked. My phone was... It's got a mega hat. It's gonna look like Barry's Sally's Instagram. My phone was turned into a pig by a whole other woman you don't need to know about.

They didn't film any of that for this movie, but that happened to for a year. Only a year with that one. Why do you have my only fans account? I was kind of waiting for that one. I was like, okay, Samantha Morgan. Yeah, yeah. They sit down once he gets his voice, which that scene is incredible. That's seen like all of it.

Dude, that's another fuck you. the whole speech they get her to have with like they're not in disguise turning pigs back into men saying okay take off your disguises with with the voice of like the most patient primary school teacher see y'all were y'all were all at the end being like oh they're heading west to a new no he's gonna go pay he's gonna go pay off his spiritual debt to the men but there's nothing that can't take that boat back east to ass beach to see the two of them get along that's why they call it the international date line you want you want some beach drugs People has fun as east. Oh, no. Oh, no, Poseidon is angry. Hey, what's she like? Oh, she's cool.

I think you like her. I think you'd like her. Really cool. Leave the boy. She's flexible. What? I mean, she's relaxed. I think you won't want to leave.

You watch the house. We got to go to Heedonism 3. Spider-Man's got the kingdom now. So you got this Spider-Man. Me and Catwoman are going to go. Also, the number of Nolan. that are about we finally made at home and we are immediately seconds later leaving with very specifically Anne Hathaway there are three of these movies about at the instant you're done you go find

Anne Hathaway and get the fuck out of here this is one of those that man I'm not going to get into another three-hour thing but this is one of those like oh you think Chris Nolan hates women have you seen the way Anne Hathaway is fucking framed at the end of Hathaway is like the pinnacle of humanity according to Chris Nolan. Honestly, this just sounds like a variation on the vacation movies from what you're telling me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's very much every Nolan movie as at once as vacation. But yeah. Right. Yeah. By the way, he describes, he has a very metaphorical description of what, or he has a very, like, poetic description of what the sirens sound like. And this is why I want the day. Homer? Yeah, I know.

Yeah. Homer. They sounded like pizza. No, he has this very poetic description, right? And this is why I want the Danny McBride version, right? So what did it sound like? The hottest chicks you've ever heard. Hotest chicks.

Man, they were saying the nastiest shit. Nasty's shit. Oh, man, the Aeneid's right there. Yeah. They were saying, they were sick shit. I can't even remember how dirty it was, man. Like the filthiest shit you ever. I think if you're going to give a classic work to Danes McBride.

I mean, the Aeneid kind of already is Eastbounded down. I was going to say the inferno. I would really like to see Danny McBride's the inferno. Oh my God, with Jody as virtual? And he is Dante, so that means he is the one populating hell. Specifically listing guys, Danny McBride hates. Yeah. It would be all of his collaborators, right?

He'd be like, here's Bill Hater. Here's David Gordon Green down here with the virgins. Yeah. This is North Carolina Inferno. This is North Carolina. ESA inferno, yeah. No cheer wine may flow in any of these circles.