Shutdown Fullcast - Four Seasons Total Podcasting

Episode Date: November 9, 2020

 - A real-time on-air exploration of the small business community of Appomattox, Virginia  - A frankly uncomfortable amount of seriously-taken football analysis, sorry bout it  - Ryan accidentally opens the ark of the covenant of Holly’s Tennessee football feelings, and everyone pays the ultimate price  - The gang engages in a little discourse with the mechanisms of government  - Jason has some things to say to Clemson  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the shutdown full cast. A little tentative. A little tentative? That's okay. We'll make up with some confidence down the road. All right. Saving up. Got to warm up to this one because it was a big weekend.

And frankly, I've got to admit, the tank is below E right now. What with everything else happening in the world, which, you know, it'd be cool if we could just discuss football. Be cool if the Internet's only college football podcast could just bypass all of the other stressors in the world. But unfortunately, some of those stressors are absolutely hilarious and need to be discussed and need to be remembered for the rest of our lives. when you go, hey, you should trust these people. I have one thing I want to talk about. And it's what Jason Kirk wants to talk about.

My co-hosts, say hello, Jason. So I've been thinking a lot about Four Seasons Total Landscaping. As I trust and hope, everyone in the world has been doing. I've seen a lot of people floating the question of, is Four Seasons Total Landscaping the funniest thing ever to happen in the history of the war? um in case your only source of news is this podcast and i'm willing to believe there is someone out there that this is the key the case i don't know which planet you live on but i don't judge it's a good um it's a good it's a it's a really good one um this was the uh the the final end of

the trump 2020 campaign maybe four seasons in philadelphia yeah yeah uh the the the current larval stage of the Trump campaign and attempted to end at the four seasons Philadelphia ended at a landscaper the back lot of it across the street from a crematorium down the road from a dildo shop there's a baseball academy about two lots to the right um i think there's a Brazilian church there's but yeah so you have rudy giliani yelling at the sky um as like a man in his underwear is fun of Joe Biden and it just what a scene everyone is called like everyone has said this is a scene from borat this is veep 30 rock parks and rec like people have thrown out every comedy series that this feels like it's ripping off and also topping um and yet i still don't know if we're

appreciating it enough because i don't know if it's possible to appreciate it enough because we we run into these things in the course of covering college football with surprising frequent I can just This tops anything we have in college football. It does, and we have had some very, very good things. And that's saying a lot is what we're saying. Anything that's ever happened with Bobby Petrino, any of it. Up to and including his hire at Arkansas where he was announced,

like all really super legitimate things are, in the middle of the night. Yeah, I think this would be. The equivalent, I think, would be if after the motorcycle wreck, that is when he stood up and did the woo pig right that would be the equivalent because we're not talking about just funny we're talking about payoff we're talking about pent-up frustrations you know and and and some sense of cosmic justice and the uh the villain becoming the fool always was the fool but like exposed is the absolute fool and i've been thinking about a historical moment trying to find something that would you know compete with it attila the hun

died in his sleep on his wedding night of a nosebleed I feel like that is a competitor for this moment Eric Trump is definitely gonna die of a nose bleed that dude cannot have much blood look at his face he's like several courts low

he's a court low yeah there was like so President Harrison the one who did like an hours long speech I think it was an inauguration speech in like a driving sleet and then died of pneumonia that would be a competitor

if President Harrison was also like one of the worst humans of all time which he might have been but he didn't really get a chance because he died of pneumonia and if he did his inauguration speech at a checkers yes yes yes I'm sorry Ryan Ryan I'm sorry I could have used really could have used a rallies a rallies

rallies yeah or like if Robert Lee tried to surrender at Appomatics but he did it at the Applebee's I lay down my sword Here at the home Of two for one margaritas That's sacred bellwether

Of my vaunted Western culture These riblets don't run So Appomatics says a dairy queen Um Robert Lee could have surrendered there There's a Oh fuck

Hell yes All right Wow All right So there's a used card dealer dead center appomatics virginia it has the greatest name i've ever seen for a used car dealer it is automatics thank you god a u t o m a t o x this is where the confederacy died i'd like to trade in my home but these deals live on brother i shall trade in traveler for this used

camry you know what they sell here they sell lost cars oh my god Boy, I tell you what, old Donnie could have used a few more landscaping for him, am I right? Am I right? It's only fitting that we should hear, surrender the weapons of war to begin that most sacred of festivals, Toyotathon. My favorite one favorite detail about this story is that according to everything. It's true. Here's this. This is from the Philadelphia Inquirer.

So they talk to somebody who works at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, and they said, well, everybody gets mixed up, because this isn't even the only Four Seasons Land. There's another company called Four Seasons Landscaping. There's Four Seasons. Is it Four Seasons partial landscaping? It's just landscaping without the total. Four Seasons manscaping is a day spa. There's a Four Seasons diner. And they talked to the guy working the counter at the sex shop, Fantasy Island.

He declined to give his name but said the phone had been ringing off the hook since Saturday with callers asking, is Rudy Giuliani there? Okay, so there is another piece of reporting from the New York Times and confirmed by another couple of outlets that we're not real sure who made the initial mistake of booking it. but that one of the reasons Rudy Giuliani booked four seasons total landscaping, which I would say is fitting because the whole endeavor lasted a total of just four seasons, right? You're not getting a movie. The reason that they booked it was that it was close to the interstate,

and it was close to an on-ramp. Sure, where all good press conferences happen. Meaning Giuliani just wanted the shortest distance to get off the off-ramp. Did he put it in a fucking wave? like was he driving there when he did i think he was like shortest distance four seasons and then he just put those results in bing right and just let it rip so the other justification i have seen and i say justification with all of the quotes in the world is that they wanted somewhere far from like the main part of philly because people kept running up on them well well like

pam bondi the former a g of florida i congratulate them for doing this um had tried to give, had tried to give a press conference in Philadelphia. And people nearby played Beyonce. And I can't remember what song it was. Party. Party. Yes, it was party. And they played it so loud that you could not hear a word Pam Bondi to sing.

She had a microphone and amps. And I watched, I watched this on television. She had, she had a professional audio set up. And you could not hear a thing. And she just gives up. It was beautiful. It's such a good little metaphor for like, The refusal for anybody to say, yep, fucked up, made a mistake.

And to even say, like, we're not doing this press conference in front of a landscaping store. The commitment to never saying you're wrong, to never admitting faults, or even like an honest, even the simplest, honest mistake. This would be the easiest mistake to just say, yeah, you know what, Google gave me this result. I called it, just was in a hurry, whatever. No harm, no foul. Nobody cares. And you can tell that this was a very successful press conference because I cannot tell you a single thing that was discussed at it.

All anybody wants to talk about is four seasons total landscaping. Oh, you got to look up the video. It's awesome. Because the race gets called in the middle of it and reporters just start leaving. Because this is how Giuliani found out that the race was called. Giuliani is behind the mic and someone says, Hey, so the thing is over. And he said, oh, who called it?

Who called the wraith? And they say, well, you know, everyone. And he does this like, someone said it's like a Larry David skit. He's like looking up at the sky. Like literally looking up at the sky. And he's like, he's looking for a monitor? Like he's looking for a teleprompter up there in the sky. Yeah, yeah.

Like, do you remember when T.O. did that press conference in his driveway where he like got weight bench out and I think I think he was like bench pressing while he was doing no he was he was doing he was doing sit-ups he was doing that's right yes he was doing incline sit-ups going I don't know you better talk to you better talk to the cowboys or talk to the eagles because you know I'm just here working out look I'm in shape and to be fair Terrell Owens very much looked in shape nobody ever talks about that part of the press conference that you know they're like man Tio's crazy and you're like yeah crazy Jacked. Hey, but you know what?

You know what? We have also seen footage of Rudy trying to take his clothes off, so maybe he's following the T.O. plan. I just, I didn't, I didn't think, like, that for me was sort of, that T.O. press conference was the one that I was like, well, that's sort of like your highway, that's sort of the mark you have to be. And that's just leapt right over it, just completely over it. God.

It was, I appreciate, by the way. that we have not even attempted to bury this in the show behind anything because it's all I want to talk about. I would also remind everybody this. Have you been at a press conference where you were like, oh, we're deeply off the map? Oh, yeah. We are very much because I was at the- Well, you were at Lesz's Have a Great Day. I was at Les Miles Have a Great Day.

That was a moment where we were completely off the map. I was at the Las Vegas Bowl after Arizona got their, Arizona State got their ass beat by what was it, Boise? And Dennis Erickson just cried the whole time. nobody knows what to do no it was like watching my it was like watching everybody's dad cry like no one can make eye contact and we all just froze in our seats

yeah you and I were both at Jason were you also there the year Robbie Caldwell came to SEC media days and talked about turkey insemination yes the the beginning peak and end of the Robbie Caldwell era at Vanderbilt all in his span of 15 minutes

yeah he was on the he was on the Mike Leach plan for sped up timelines Yeah. When you get the whole thing in like a mayfly's lifespan, it was absolutely beautiful. The other thing about this press conference that I find really awesome is that, again, people will tolerate things in real life when it comes to those who are actually like their politicians or even their managers or people in like figures of authority and positions of authority that they will never tolerate in sports. never right at no point did anyone go hey you know you're losing by 31 points maybe that whole thing about this team being fixed isn't maybe that's not there because i got a scoreboard and it's telling me how much you suck right because even in coaching it's it's it's sports you see like all right

there was a bad call and someone says oh well there are like three other bad calls and also you lost by uh 56 points you know in here it's like okay maybe there was a bad call. Another one probably went the other way, but you're going to lose by seven million points. Like example, Will Must Champ lost very badly this weekend to Texas A&M. Like, I believe it was 453. But he managed not to hold a press conference at a landscaping facility. First of all, oh, it was 483. I'm sorry, that's an important margin because it's three points more than I initially said. When did they kick the field goal? Do you know? I'll look it up if you don't. They kick the field goal. No, I can tell you. They kick the field goal. No, I can tell you. They kick the field

goal with about five minutes and 50 seconds left in the game. Five minutes and 50 seconds on fourth and 14, they kicked a field goal. Can I, can, for everyone listening here, and this is a sneak preview of what I wrote about it, but whatever, it's a great point. And I'm going to make it again. That fourth and 14, when they decide to kick a field goal, you know who's kicked most field goals in the SEC this year? South Carolina.

Do you know who has one of the. bottom three rates in converting field goals successfully, South Carolina, meaning South Carolina did not attempt to score a touchdown to give Colin Hill reps or give the morale or, you know, show that they were still fighting. No, they decided to do the thing. They do the most and the worst of anyone. They love what they do. They love what they do.

They really got in the groundwater over there, huh? There's something in the aquifer. I do like that A&M immediately followed that field goal. that made the game 41-3 with another touchdown. Another, yeah, which, by the way, this is Will Must Champs like former co-worker across from them who's absolutely dog-walking him of all of the things. This is his like condo co-owner, isn't it?

Yeah, you know, when you go like, he has to look across there and go, man, we were both right there, weren't we? Both right there in Jedi Academy. One of us ends up being the chosen one. One of us is one of those minor Jedi that Order 66 just wipes out in like three frames of film, right?

Oh, what happened? What happened to old Obie Must Champ? Oh, I don't know. He was doing Youngling Carpool. It was a hell of the day. In fact, they didn't even kill him. He just, he hit a wall.

He's driving a bus hit a wall because a bee got in the cabin. Made him all order. He was the only one with a Pughes lightsaber. I hope we'll must champ. 66 a little bit of a. That's a lofty nun. for coach mom i'm just gonna punch you with the hill i'm not turning it on i think that's for cowards

we're comparing him to a nerd story he'd be so mad he hates uh well well well we really need to learn something other than force push just force push but you could choke somebody no force push he has to just look over i mean i do think he'd like throwing he would like throwing debris though that's yeah that's it trash throw Trash push. Trash push. That's just normal force push, Will. You can't call it.

It's trash push. I'm not even using the force. I'm just throwing trash at you. He is the most terrifying Jedi of all. Force headbutt. Coach, that's a regular headbutt. No, I did it with force. He's just looking across the field, and he's like,

he's like, some bitch got $75 million guaranteed. he's an a and m they all love him he gets special boots i'm here at south carolina trying to get a new weight room they hate my ass he's got dude he's got jamy harrison who did not have a very good night on tuesday being like you know what we need to do get will muschamp the fuck out the paint wait i'm yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah jamy harrison has has recovered enough to say all right we're on to the next problem this this is holly this is the tweet that's This is a solutions-oriented thinker that should have put Jamie Harrison in the Senate. This is the tweet.

This is in the middle of, you know, everything that's going on with the election on multiple levels, including the Georgia double runoff. And this is the tweet. I'm so close to setting up a fundraising effort to buy out must champ's contract. Geez, dude has got to go. Okay. In his defense, in Jamie Harrison's defense, not in must champ's defense because he ain't got none. Wow. Defense.

I mean, it can't be that. hard to devote much time of your day to thinking about how to be a better senator than Lindsey Graham that leaves you with a lot of free time do you think Jamie Harrison would have won if he had run on I'll I'll fire well must champ the for the day after I'm elected yes because unlike Tommy Tuberville's run that would have unified both Clemson and South Carolina also well much champs a lot like Lindsey Graham because there's a lot of film you can use against him four seasons total landscaping yeah i was going to say even i just want to marinate in this

even will must champion the press conference is like yeah it's bad and i'm pissed off about it and that's that's that's like that that's my way of saying that more supple intelligent bold bold leadership shown by the guy that we're comparing to a jedi who'll only headbut people that's the guy and robots oh he'll headbutter robot don't you give me the clone wars give me the Will Mustamp clone wars put it in their fucking arena yeah against the shitty Roger bots

yeah why they're bad or thousands of them why they call me Roger Roger I'll call you something buddy come here some bitch bam I'm gonna keep going until you say Will Will it's William William Hey speaking of general grievance did y'all see what Mike Leach said after the game

Boy, the life cycle, the Mike Leach life cycle is accelerated in remarkable time. That's exactly what I want to talk about. Yeah. Does he matter now? We've had, we have accelerated on the Mike Leach timeline, which as per earlier review, has all been taking place within the span of this pre and regular season. And this time, Mike said that fans that aren't on board with his program are impatient. and he said maybe they can select another team

this is when you find this is when you find out by the way it's a little bit of a different world at Mississippi State than it used to be because they have experienced wins more than one year in a row more than two years in a row actually they have had

dummies gave up Joe Moorhead on purpose Joe Moorhead by the way had a rockin night for Oregon yeah yeah they had 479 yards of offense against Stanford Stanford's never really in it they pretty much did what they wanted to in that offensive line looked beautiful so joe moorhead thriving in a state where every drug is legal no not legal sorry it's some sort of subcategory of legal meaning decriminalized decriminalized there we go legal legal er ryan you sounded as tired as i felt

yeah so joe moorhead obviously thrive good for him then but this mississippi state crew They've tasted what it's like to be consistently a seven and eight win team. It's not going to be the same for a while, for a long while for them. So I don't even think this is going to work because Mike Lee's just typically what you do to, you know, your Washington State fan who's like, yeah, whatever, put it in my face. I don't care. That's like a comment. Like if you had said that after you lost to Auburn close, like then it would maybe make sense where if people were like, if Mississippi State fans were unhappy about that, you could. could be like, look, Auburn has Jesus on their side, and they're also like maybe a good team,

maybe not, who say, and we're trying to do some different things, like, you've got to be patient. But when you beat Vanderbilt, who is by far the worst team in the SEC, like, I don't think, and I don't even mean that to be all that negative because, like. No, they're very bad. Well, and like, they're clearly so decimated on the roster that, like, the expectations. should not be that high. You beat this team by seven points and it really did come down pretty much to the like late in the fourth quarter for you to pull this one out. Like yeah, people are allowed to be pissed about that because even if it is a rebuild, even if it is like

a long process, these are some terrible results to get there. Like nobody's saying like go out and beat Alabama it's like can you comfortably beat Vanderbilt is that too much if that's not too much to ask like literally there's there's nothing you can nothing at all this is also where can can I just get my apology off my chest now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah on to someone else's chest so gross um I earlier this week or earlier last week I should say Alex Kersner told me that he was betting on Vanderbilt in this game. He was taking Vanderbilt in the points. I think it was either 18 and a half or 19. And I told him he was wrong and stupid and bad things were going to happen to him. And for a little while, it looked like maybe I was right because Mississippi State led

this game, 17-0 at halftime. And Vanderbilt had like every version of fuck-up. going on for it and then in this and then in the second half Mississippi State came out and had a five play drive that ended in a punt a three and out a three and out a three and out a three and out a three and out and finally after they had let Vanderbilt make it a three-point game 1417 and even within that Vanderbilt had thrown a pick at the Mississippi State 28 and had fumbled inside their own 20

only then did Mississippi State finally decide to score one more time and didn't come close to covering so Alex I'm sorry you are smarter and better than me you should not listen to anything I ever say and you are more SEC than I am

and I seed whatever right I have to the keys of the city of Tampa to you you are now Tampa's chosen prince what a prize he'd love that he would love it no he'd move to tampa he's one of those people he would move to tampa he does he'd move there and just go like i can't believe you guys don't think this isn't heaven on earth it's phenomenal do you know they have the beach there they do

reasonable reasonable cost of living yep yeah airport tremendous multiple multiple games stop vibrant local cuisine yeah sure sure sure that's how old were you when you realized that Alex is Zeus from Gravity Falls uh right now

today yeah yeah but you are correct yes Zeus hey guys hey guys so uh the this next bullet point I don't even just y'all

go ahead why don't you wait start with reading the bullet point it says talking all the shit about Georgia now you said that in sort of like a kind of a passive voice kind of way who wrote the bullet point I did okay I did and I realize who did you intend to do all the talking me just me y'all can just jump in if you want to I'm so happy about this but like I have trouble experiencing joy

because so much of my feeling about this game is tied up in negativity it's not tied up in oh man so happy to watch florida thrive which i guess some part of me is i just don't want to lose this game because i generally kind of i kind of hate the way georgia does everything buddy i got to tell you something

i think we've been hanging out too much in quarantine because you sound like me maybe maybe that's entirely possible but i will also say this georgia like completely squandered what is now like this year four for Kirby you've blown a lot of time and this is a big this is a big

bell weather for how badly and how much you've squandered it's also a bellwether for how dick trippy the rest of the SEC East has been because he is real lucky that this hasn't caught up with him more than it has uh-huh because one might point out that at this point in this tenure bark Rick did 50 wins and he's got 48 And Mark Rick was playing with less talent And tough for SEC East That might be something one might want to point out If one were noting these things

One might go, oh, hey, you know Your quarterbacks, yeah sure You had a couple of difficult things with the quarterback You know what you built your game around? The quarterback that you were complaining about was a limitation That's so you continue to build game plans around against a defense that could not defend anyone a couple of weeks ago and honestly might not have gotten that much better

because there were a whole lot of open people yes even with your injured receivers who if you're so deep and you've recruited all of this talent into the state of Georgia and you've gotten them to go to UGA injury shouldn't be this much of an issue should they they really shouldn't you're that much better you've been recruiting at Alabama levels this whole time trying to tell me you don't have anybody you can catch the ball like not a one because i can tell you florida's recruiting it's been it's been all over the place it's been large good but like i don't know we had a two-star quarterback he seemed fine he threw for like

474 yards on a defense i know is loaded with four and five-star talent so what's up with that mr defensive head coach why is that happening what why did you do all of this a disserve and disrespect the effort of like Monty Rice who's playing on one foot. Also is named Monty. He's named Monty. He's an awesome football player by default. Right? Like if I want to look for the coolest dude.

Don't waste a Monty. That's a millennial Monty. Don't waste that. No. I mean, like, we don't get these guys every day. If you got an Ernie, if you got a Monty, if you got a Frank. A Herman. A Herman. If you have any of these

cherished old man names in the body of a talented 20-year-old college football player, value them, cherish them. Don't put them out there playing on one foot and still somehow covering Cadarie's Tony, which is not easy, and which I've seen four men fail out on a single play.

You take that and you put the whole game plan on Stetson Bennett, the fourth's shoulders, and you think that's going to get it done. Y'all still let a dude with a four at the end of his name throw all over you for a minute. For a minute, but not for long. I mean, they didn't, you've got to realize they, they didn't have over 200 yards passing. Like, I thought, oh, man, they're at least 250.

That makes it sound so, like it was so close to 200. They didn't have over 200. That's a humongous roundup. A hundred and 12 yards total passing. Yeah. How much of that was in like the first 10 minutes of the game? Well, I think probably, I know for Bennett's case, about 50 yards of that

right and he had like 78 on the day so they pretty much ate all their snacks before the previews even ended just okay that's it so all we got it's also a 75 yard rush like right away after which they had I think if I'm counting this right 16 more carries by running backs

in the entire game oh yeah the dude who got the 75 yarder Zemir Zeus White how many carries do you end up end up with after that one carry for 75. He had seven. They gave him the ball six more times. That's a great average. That's 15 yards of carry, bro. That's amazing. That's what they were looking out for. We don't want to bring it down. We don't do counting stats here at Georgia. We're on advanced analytics. He's only got 170 yards by statistical probability. So he's used

them all up. He's full. We'll just put them on different numbers here. It'll be fine. backs on a tight pitch count here at Georgia. Yeah. And in addition to that, you didn't do that against, again, a Florida defense who at times our safeties and TVs like to chase butterflies. They get distracted by the beauty of the natural world. Sometimes ignore receivers running right by them. Sometimes they're sent on hopeless blitzes because as Todd Grantham will tell you, the most effective blitz is the non-delayed actual intentional blitz that happens to come from 15 yards away from the person you're supposed to tackle. Is it a delayed blitz?

No, it's just socially distanced. That's how we like to do it. Anyway, y'all should have won this game. If you'd had a quarterback, you probably could have come back. I don't know. Who are you talking to? There's no Georgians on this show. You think Georgia should have won this game?

I think they could have made a lot closer. But they could have. Okay, that'll give you, but like. Well, is that like if they'd completed more than nine passes? If they had, if they had completed, if they'd had a quarterback who had completed half of their passes, which they did not. Bennett was five for 16. Dwan Mathis, a four-star recruit, mind you.

It's not like we're just, you know, rolling out whatever fell out of the bus. Nope. He went four for 13 for 34 yards with two picks. He was like watching, you know that like computer game where you have a tank and you have to like adjust the force and the angle to try to shoot the other tank across the screen? And the first, like, four or five times you do it, you're like, well, that was way off. That's basically what his day looked like. He, when they announced, yeah, DeWan Mathis coming in, they flashed over to the sideline. Who had not been warming up? Is that what happened?

Uh-huh. So he's warming up on the sideline. He's going to come in because Bennett jammed his shoulder. And I guess the most damning thing about Bennett and Mathis's performance combined is that Bennett had a dinged up shoulder, tried to fight through it, went about five or 16. Mathis looking perfectly intact went four for 13 so really was it yeah so I don't look I hear I hear everything you're saying but like Georgia looked like shit on defense man like I'll buy they could have made it that's the worst that's the worst part Spencer can ask you a question mm-hmm I'm sorry Ryan keep going no go ahead go ahead this isn't a trap you said before the game that you thought

Florida was going to win this game. I did. Now that Florida has won this game, you sound disgusted. Discuss. Oh, it makes no sense. I have no idea what this emotional reaction is. It's probably the incapability

of experiencing or really accepting joy after this year. Okay. Right? Florida did enough dumb shit that it felt like if you if you just looked at the dumb shit in a vacuum and be like oh the Florida didn't have

the Florida doesn't win that game because they open with giving up a touchdown on the first play they throw a pick six they miss a field goal when they have a chance to push the lead to 16 like they do enough things that you kind and like can't run the ball at all didn't really like try to run the ball a ton

but we're not particularly efficient in that department yeah and so i think if i had told spencer before this game hey george is going to score the first touchdown it's going to be on the first play of the game they're going to go up by two scores and um oh by the way kyle pitts is going to leave with an injury and he's not going to come back god the only good kyle like do you think what do you think will happen here spencer you would have Florida loses, right? Right, I would have. And honestly, after, after Dwan Mathis, does, to his credit, come in and, like, leads

George's offense to a touchdown in the third quarter, I was like, well, I hear it goes. There's no way this defense holds us. None. Is that what happened? Obviously not. No? Were there a lot of super brilliant things in this game? Oh, God, yes.

like the fact that uh kirby smart you know mr mr i downloaded savings whole database into this gigantic brain and put a terrible haircut over it like that guy couldn't defend a wheel route they couldn't like that was that was the whole first half was oh that's cool you can't defend a wheel route also for some of you haven't figured out that the running backs can catch the ball because they threw the They threw so many passes to the running backs. I think they threw a combined total of like 15 passes to running backs with probably more targets. For significant yardage, Malik Davis, a running back was the leading receiver. He had 100 yards. The second leading receiver was a running back as well. Uh-huh. Yeah.

And you know who didn't figure that out for about 30 minutes? Georgia. And Georgia, by the way, way, way too many 400 years. yard passing games for that vaunted defense for the strength of your team they're not good that's like that that's you're getting to the point now where you go all right this is this is not an aberration this is what you can expect y'all notice how vaunted is never used non facetiously well it never it never is it only precedes bad right it's never actually uh like it's never used never used used standalone as its actual meaning.

Right. Like something is always in retrospect. Yes. Like something always used to be vaunted. Anyway. The goodness. Which, Arkansas reader question? Yeah.

Speaking of contests that went one way and then real far the other way. I have a reader question from a fella who messaged me in the Moon Crew Discord, a space that you could join. This is user SP sellers, and I know this is not our usual type of thing, but I would like to know if we could maybe perhaps push through and give this guy what he wants, because he took the time to ask me about the game. And again, I want to emphasize, I know this is not our usual thing, but see what you guys think of this. He's talking about the Tennessee Arkansas game, which I watched 36 seconds up. so I'm going to count on you guys for out no I took a screen cap when I turned the game off I know I saw 1424 or first quarter I had seen enough once again my streak of knowing when to

turn that game off remains intact anyway sb sellers question and I'm sorry I know again I know this is unusual for us the first half versus the second half of this game was night and day what do you think about pruitt's future and pitman as a first year coach okay I know, I know. Who, first of all, who we got on deck who actually spent significant minutes watching this? I think Ryan did, because I think we discussed some of this. We did discuss. I got to be honest.

I got to be honest. I got a total of the split zone duo exists, and it is a fine radio program that everyone should be listening to. Well, I mentally cleared this game from my brain because I thought about talking about it, but I was like, Holly's not, why would I do that to Holly? That's sweet. So I am a little, I'm a little, I am a little, I am a little, I am a little, I am a little, I am a little, like taken aback that we're talking about it, but yeah, I, I spent time watching this game. Time that I'll never get back, time that I could have used for countless other things, bettering myself, bettering the world around me, just reflecting on things of beauty.

But instead I watched Tennessee, Arkansas. That's true. I'm calling the Trump voter fraud hotline? 100%. Would have been a better use of time, but I didn't do those things. So, yeah. Let me get that number actually real quick. So let me tell you what happened in short in this game that Tennessee enters the half up 13-0 and they leave with a 24-13 loss.

Most of that happened in the third quarter. Not most of it. All of it. All of it happened in the third quarter. Certainly like this is when Arkansas wakes up. It also coincides with Tennessee deciding to go, hey, you know what? our guy really isn't getting it done on offense we're going to go ahead and mess around and we're going to let the other guys play quarterback i will just point out that while causation is not correlation the minute that they started our correlation is not causation but the minute they started messing around with this and the minute they started go correlation and causation have been shacking up heavy this fall well hold on you're you're slightly you're slightly mislabeling what happened here because they didn't know i'm not done not done okay all right okay all right all right they didn't decide but this is when we see the other guys from the Tennessee bench sure right this is when we see

Harrison Bailey Harrison a.k.a. Bailey Harrison Georgia compatible quarterback by name and you see guys like Brian Marr who come off the bench because big complain among Tennessee fans that Jarrett Garantano isn't getting it done I am leaving something out Ryan Yes. Okay. Oh, damn. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's the point, like, it is worth noting that. And it's not, it's not as if he had been a world beater in this game.

Nope. In pretty much any game prior to this. Like, and, and it's not as though Tennessee has, as a program at least, has had a ton of faith in him as the, as the signal caller. So, like, so it's not a circumstance where you think, like, if you think of team, like, oh, who is truly unprepared to go to somebody else at quarterback in the middle of the game if they have to? Tennessee should not be on that list because like even when he's healthy, they're like halfway ready to do it. Yeah, I said this a minute ago, uh, since he was a freshman, not to kick Jared around, but to say that since his first season with this program, he has been

jerked around a lot. Mm-hmm. And by the way, Brian Mark, comes in first and goes 0 for 4. As on the other side of the ball, the hogs have woken up they score 24 points in the third quarter and Brian Moore goes over 4

and gets a QBR of 4.8. Say what you will by QBR is an understandable stat. We can all agree that if you get 4.8 and it's not an AP-weighted GPA, something has gone very wrong.

Yeah, it was... It's bad. It's bad. Their quarterback situation is very much bad. It is insanely bad. I would like to bring to the show not to talk about real football for too long. Something that Spencer and I have been talking about a lot as I grouse my way through. Yet another disappointing Tennessee football campaign. And Ryan, I think you and I have had this discussion as well. So I'm going to throw this to Jason.

Jason, can you think of a program on Tennessee's ostensible level that has had less success with putting in particular quarterbacks in a position to succeed? Let me put this question another way. Can you think of a program that has had more bad fifth-year quarterbacks than this one? So Tennessee's level, I think that's Nebraska, Tennessee and Nebraska, those two teams. Very similar. Those are the two teams that always just go together in my mind. And it's sort of just a race throughout history ever since the glorious 1990s. So I think they're...

They got a guy drafted. I don't know if Nebraska has recently. So doing better than Nebraska there. The one Tennessee thing I want to note is Jeremy Pruitt. is currently 15 and 16. He got a contract extension two months ago, and as of right this moment, he has the same record that Butch Jones had through 31 games.

Against an easier schedule. Like, against a definitely easier schedule. If you look at who they've had to play cross-division, if you look at who they've had to play non-conference, like, it's definitely an easier schedule. Then the previous, like the first three years of Butch? Yes. Yes.

Hold on. I was talking to Richard about this. I will pull it up and find it. While you're pulling that up, I have my own pet theory that is absolutely unscientific. I will pause for you to regain your astonishment. I have my own pet theory about Tennessee's schedule this year and why they are performing, not why they are performing,

but one reason they're performing so poorly against a schedule that has not in its earliest weeks, you know, contained their usual front-loaded monsters. And that is this, the legendary never-ending Tennessee gripe through the generations has been Tennessee schedules front-loaded. Tennessee plays all their hard games first. And down the back end of November, they coast, hopefully, through Vandy, Kentucky, now Missouri. and what's how they always end up landing in a respectable-ish middle-tier bowl game more often than not. Here's the thing.

I think Tennessee is a lot better at getting talent than it is at developing talent. I think this problem has persisted since the end of Fulber and we have not yet pulled down a coach who can remedy that, which tells me that this is systemic rot. This is not down to any one guy. This is a group of people who are prioritizing the wrong things. Because a bunch of fifth-year quarterbacks, one after the other, who can't get it done, is not entirely upon the shoulders of all those fifth-year quarterbacks because there are men who are paid millions and millions and millions of dollars to put them in a position to succeed, and they have not done so. and here's the thing what happens when you flip that schedule playing Georgia in early

October playing Florida in week three every year playing a high profile non-con game against what's usually a pretty quality team to start off the season Tennessee loses a lot of those games but what those games do what that quality of opponent does is it not only masks when Tennessee might be good it masks when Tennessee might be bad because they're going to lose those games either way does that make sense. Yeah. I'm sorry.

This is why I don't watch these games anymore because this is the train of thought that I get on. But this, Jeremy Pruitt is not the solution. I don't like him for reasons that aren't really related to anything he's doing on the field. But it's not even the same athletic director that's made all these hires. They're looking in the wrong place. So Jason, I pulled it out. In terms of bringing in talent, like bringing in really good, talent and then not developing it, all right?

I have a stat that I think will cheer you up and bear with me because it's going to start out pretty rough. Over the past 15 years, Tennessee is number 12 in total recruiting, all right? God, damn it. That's pretty good. That's ahead of Miami, Notre Dame, A&N, that's ahead of Clemson over the last 15 years. Head of Oregon, Penn State. That's not good.

Not but here we go. After that. Okay. Here we go, here we go. All right. It was number one. All right. It was number one in 15 year recruiting with zero national.

titles to show for it, the University of Georgia. That is great. I was going to say I was like, why are we talking about Georgia? I do feel better. Why are we talking about the dogs? That did help Jason, thank you. Do you want to go, do you want to undergo a three to four

year vocational program where you can practice football games, not worry about winning any championships or extending the season, and still get in the NFL? That's why people keep going to Georgia. And then you play for Matt, Patricia. God. all right so jason here

sorry go ahead i was going to say here's here are the non-conference and the uh rotating west opponents that butch jones had in his first three years this is the highlights uh year so in addition to florida georgia alabama you have correct uh year one he draws a road game against numbered against oregon this is back when Oregon's still good this is 2013 and uh he play he hosts the auburn team that goes to the national championship that year year two a road game against number four at the time oklahoma and they go on the road to the old miss team that beat bama with bow wallace um year three they host oklahoma that's a game i think godfrey went to that tennessee almost i was at that i was at that game that's the last game i went to in person

yeah um and they did not and then they get arkansas so they get like a little bit of a of a of a respite there so it's like it's very much loaded with aggressive like it's aggressive scheduling that was going to be hard sure like as a fan as a fan i appreciate you know tennessee went longer up until up until after i was out of college Tennessee had not scheduled, I want to say, had not scheduled, but was then a one-d-a-a-team since, like, the 80s. So then Jeremy Pruitt's first year, he plays West Virginia, gets killed. He has Auburn as his rotating team, an Auburn team that finishes 8 and 5,

so not like world-beating Auburn necessarily. Last year, they didn't, I mean, they had BYU, but they lost that game. They also lost to Georgia State, but they didn't have, like, a, huge like an Oregon Oklahoma level opponent and Mississippi State was their West team that they played last year so like

so this is propping up my theory because I got to tell you something y'all I'm ever leaning close if you got headphones press them to your ears these are all the same team the one this team right here does have that feel it does this team right here that is dick tripping against a

an easier schedule has the exact same problems as teams that have to play hard teams and lose it's just that in normal years everyone feels sorry for them because the team kicking the shit out of them is florida and not kentucky and that we have and that we by the way have to just this is all the matter of the editing i'm going to say something that i might regret and that feels very mean i already regret because i'm talking about tennessee and i can't even think about it without making me angry what is the difference at this point between Tennessee and NC State?

Nothing. You know what? I'll tell you the difference between Tennessee and NC State. We are never, and God help me, I am chained to this team by birth because I can't stop saying we. We're not as good as NC State because NC State fans at least have once any while the snake bite ankleing of another team to absolutely ruin the season of a head. hated rival that they otherwise cannot break through on, we can't even get that far. I was going to say NC State's cheaper. Well, I think the main thing is

Tennessee is an expensive NC State. Tennessee has real rocks. Tennessee doesn't give a shit if they go seven and six. Right. No, they don't. Right. And Tennessee should maybe chill on that front or start looking for something else.

I will tell you guys what I told. I mean, you guys know this. I'm going to tell the listeners this because I told our friendly Arkansas fan who hit me up on Saturday night. Y'all, I'm not kidding when I say I don't watch these games, because this is all I think about

when I'm watching this game. You've heard me say it on the show, and I say it every time I sit down in front of a Tennessee game since something like 2003. I've seen this movie before. See, this is

why I wasn't going to bring up the Tennessee Arkansas game. I just also hey Ryan thank you for going through no I'm I'm cool I'm fine this is no I know I know you're all the time thank you for looking through that because I had not for my own emotional health gone through and actually looked at that theory and now that I know that I'm not just talking out of my ass and my instincts have a little bit of data to back it up I actually feel better I feel justified in my continued not view of this football team also not setting foot in the games for other reasons uh is a whole different

story but i can't even bring myself to watch them on television because i don't like reruns also nc state's got that house arrest wolf logo which is awesome yeah but they got fake rocks though and we got a river that's it that's the only thing that makes tennessee better uh than nc state i would prefer to be an NC state fan because those people, unless they're in Lauren Brown those mentions, appear to have largely reasonable expectations and take joy

in ankle-biting Clemson every once in a few years. The last time Tennessee had a real, real shot to ruin somebody's season was the Mount Cody game in 2009. Yeah, even the Florida teams that you've beaten

since then their seasons were scuttled or they were obviously like they were obviously headed to like nine and three and getting killed by alabama tennessee as a culture does also not have the mindset at the institutional or the fan level to take pleasure in to take pleasure in having that kind of season because like the title the title's still too fresh you know with Georgia fans should be better at this than they are because their last title was thousands and thousands and thousands of days ago. You know, I was 16 when Tennessee won their title. It's a memory that I have as a not yet adult and now I am a young-ish adult and it is still

in my mind. So I understand why people who have been clinging to this program like grim death think that they ought to do better but I got to tell you y'all the problem ain't the coach whatever's going on it's in the pipes it's in the walls one more thing the Trump voter fraud hotline

which you absolutely should not call to yell about Jeremy Pruitt and Phil Fulmer that number and the Haslums too definitely don't report them for voter fraud that number is 1-888-630 1776 I'm not

making this up. Oh, that's so different. They got multiple numbers now? No, they had to change it because everybody was in the other way. Oh, do we have a new one? So it would be a real shame if you read that out. I would just want to real quickly point out that conversation jogged my memory.

I believe we are now eight presidential administrations removed from Georgia's last national title. That really is a tradition unlike any other. Can I swing us in a completely opposite emotional direction? sure i wish you would anyway uh arkansas friendly arkansas fan i hope that answers your question

uh sp sellers once again i recommend shut uh shut zone duo i recommend split zone duo for all your actual football needs because i don't like talking about it love love love you thanks good good to talk indiana is it top 10 motherfucking team in the nation in college football right now that is a thing that is true I'm so happy about this okay so the new voter fraud hotline number or the newer one is 800 895

4152 if that is white supremacist code I can't crack it off the top that's at least the third different one then okay cool I'm pretty sure so much voter fraud that they're they're overruled they got three full

I think you know I bet what it is is they can't afford they can't afford to pay for like a big enough like voicemail box that's true that y'all should use free conference call voicemail boxes well they're just setting up free trials all over the place okay four one five two let's try that um paul sorry sorry sorry they got a Canadian So, Indiana, if they beat Michigan State on Saturday, and they, I haven't looked, I assume they're favored, the computers would favor them. They will move up and they will break the tie to have their third. Well, it's in, it's in East Lansing. You never know. There might be an earthquake going on, a volcano of hammers.

They had a number four ranking in 1945 and 1967. They're currently tied with their 1969 team for the highest ranking in Indiana history. Any movement up from now breaks that into. We are very nearly into third-gradest Indiana team of all-time territory. Also, if this team wins a bowl, you could argue it's the second best. The number, the 1945, we went 9-0-1. That's going to be hard to top. But I believe in the- This is the year.

The best part about this game was that going in, I think, people like the possibility of indiana being miss beating michigan was certainly on the table but most of us were emotionally prepared for something maybe more like the indiana penn state game something that's close and where indiana alternates like wow what exciting bullshit they've pulled off with oh no what terrible bullshit they've committed um and instead they just stomped the fucking shit out of michigan for the whole game yeah you want me you you want the most shocking number out of of that please we watch this one yeah no the most shocking number out of this when you go well you say stump the shit showly ryan you have exaggerated no uh insane matlock style lawyer

that i just made up who appeared like a ghost in my mentions i thought it was robertie lee back again for serese i have laid down my sword at the zax piece we're talking about a lot of participation trophy winners tonight the serenity of peace is something izique uh 13 yards about this voter fraud story is that i google donald trump voter fraud hotline and i can't find it online i only see stories about tick-tock teens flooding the line well flooding the lines oh oh okay i got another one okay 888 503 3526 you dial that and i'm gonna drop this fact 13 yards rushing they they i think that's the one i've seen most often they They had 13 yards rushing against Indiana.

It just says, tell us what you are seeing. Thank you for calling the Trump National War Room. All of our agents are busy helping callers. At the tone, please record your message. When you finish recording. Spencer, just tell them about Michigan's 13 rushing. Yeah, just keep going. Yo, listen, Michigan only got 13 rushing yards.

I know, I know that's fraud. I need a recount on those yards. y'all told me about vote all legal yards count all the legal yards that's what you need to do i need certified yardage because i'm seeing indiana 10 and if you want weird voting patterns well that's one there buddy i'm looking at a top 10 this got b yu which well you know they're freaks it says eight no i know they ain't played eight games and then i got cincinnati i got florida that's a commie team A&M is in the top five y'all That's a bad sign I need a recount

I see Notre Dame at two What why y'all got them that high This is fraud This is fraud I need that I see something called Coastal Carolina That's a line of man's leisure shorts That ain't a school Take care of this Davy Trump

Not that we Not that we approve of schools to begin with Yeah that was fun you had a steam you want to hang up yeah no you can hang up hey y'all if you could like and subscribe to our college football podcast here at the trump voter fraud hotline that'd be good appreciate it you can find us uh on apple podcast on stitcher overcast uh just wherever you find your podcast but you you can search shut down full cast uh and thank you we would we would really appreciate your time also also like to talk i just want i just want to note folks

on the we don't have any money so don't don't ask us for any money no no i know you i know you need money but we don't have any you can reach us on twitter at 38 godfrey yep uh if you would like to if you would like to engage engage there but uh we're citizens and we're constituents and Auburn's gonna win the football game i'm just gonna i'm just gonna leave this here because i don't know how long this voicemail can go let's just keep the casket. Yeah, no, we'll keep it coat. We'll leave. Oh, man, one lucky person going through voicemails at the Trump voter fraud hotline is going to receive a rough cut of our episode. It's amazing.

Directly into voicemail. So, yeah, 13 yards rushing total for Michigan. Now, they in large part had to abandon the run at an early stage in the game due to a 24-7 lead amassed by the Hoosiers by the half. However, if this is, if this is Michigan, they were really going to a job. Josh Gaddis constructed, designed, spread run game, they threw that out the window fast. Joe Milton had to throw 34 times, and they still only got 21 points out of it. Indiana? Just a warning? They're good.

This is a good football team in the Big Ten. I have no idea what they look like against anyone outside at this conference, or whether they'll even get to play their next game. Shit, better press three. Save it. Yeah, there we go, three. Just like we'll must champ at the end of the A&M game. Three!

Three! Message sent. Okay, so it appears to be about three minutes long. That's good. That's three minutes out of someone else's day. Excellent. Spencer, you have a note in here. I'm just going to read it verbatim.

I feel better. I feel better now that I've talked to someone. The team Michigan lost two last week lost 497 to Iowa, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. Mm-hmm. That'd be Michigan State. who in two weeks has had a total of 10 turnovers

I believe if you combine if you combine the seven and the three the seven that they had against Rutgers and the three that they had against Iowa that is correct yes

yeah I that's not you know when you go oh man well we only had three turnover so your variance you're telling me is somewhere between three and seven turnovers a game. That's what you're talking. And Michigan still struggled with you. Oh, oh, this is looking, this is coming up stank.

I don't think there's no aberration here. You know, like we said about Georgia, maybe not being a real great football team at this point and their defense not being real good for a lot of different reasons. Michigan's just not good. Georgia can at least point to injury. Michigan, I have no idea what any of you are doing right now.

I would like to offer you a chilling thought. Michigan and Penn State are going to play a football game this year. End of thought. Probably. Probably. In theory. Man, if that's canceled, there's going to be so many Michigan fans who are like, oh, thank God. Thank God.

I'm sorry. You think the Penn State fans won't be happy. Michigan has at least won a game. I say this with all affection Penn they're idiots they're going to be like no we want to play it and then after five minutes into the game

they'll be like no why do we do that Michigan fans will hold the conclave policy proposals will be entertained and they'll come to a consensus a studied composed consensus Penn State fans will show up like oh god we should have thought about this

this is a very bad idea I also don't know, by the way, if you don't know that one last note of Michigan and Indiana before we sunset this and just say, Woo Hoosiers! They have the most made-up sounding, like, receiving core I've ever heard of in my life. I mean, it's not enough that their quarterback

is Michael Pennix, Jr., which is the funniest part, that yes, his name is somewhat like penis with an X at the end. It's not said like that at all. No. It just has five of the same letters. It only has... Four of the same letters.

It only almost looks the same on paper. It said it's Junior, right? Remind you that, like, yeah, there's... That's big, that's big Pennix. You're watching Little Penix play. Big Pennix is sitting in the stands. They're receiving core. Ty Fryfogel, Wop, Filiier, Peyton Henderson, Hedershop, and Jacoby Huitt.

These are like Dick Tracy, like, henchman. Samson James. Steve is called the third. Yeah, they have the most made-up receiving core I've ever heard of in my life. And they're awesome. You know, it's not made up. The amazing comfort and quality of the sweatshirts and t-shirts and baseball shirts at homefield apparel. com as always, the sponsors of this fine podcast just completed season one a big new Saturday where we,

Like, let's run down the list. Who'd we get? We got Pitt. We got Hawaii. We put Pitt on. We got Slippery Rock. We got Auburn and Alabama. We got Colorado State.

Who else am I forgetting here? We got Michigan, obviously. Yeah, Michigan. Such as it is. We got, oh, we got South Dakota School of Mines. Or Colorado School of Mines. Sorry about that. We got Vanderbilt.

Sure. Delaware, rice. We got motherfucking Zot. We got Zot. We zotted all over this shit. Ew. And you can Zot over it. You can Zot all over it too when you use offer code full cast.

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fucking seamless let's move on to talk about to talk about something that was a little bumpier was yeah

the constant notary aid game i'm going to point us you gotta you got to go ahead and speak on it jason you got some things to say about clemson they're on your chest you got to get them off clemson clemson we got to talk come on down to the altar clemson clemson clemson clemson clemson um so to this point you have been a good pentecostal program all right uh the fire is on you the spirit is in you the passion i see it it's demonstrated week in and week out your fruits have demonstrated your faith. But Clemson, is it not written that you should be either hot or cold, either win or lose?

Now, what were you at the end of regulation against Notre Dame, Clemson? You were lukewarm, weren't you? The score was tied. That's not a win or a loss. Is it not written that the lukewarm will be spat out of the Lord's mouth? Do you want to be spat out of the Lord's mouth? Lord's mouth, Clemson? No.

You want to stay in his mouth. Like a lozange, Clemson. Lord's got a sore throat. He needs he in there. A tie. Ryan, that's like purgatory, isn't it? No heaven, no hell, just in the middle. That's right.

That's your department, brother. Like an unbaptized infant. Like an ACC review, it's endless. I was going to say. Pergatory's their shit, not yours, Thompson. Oh, Clemson. Clemson, do you know what purgatory four, according to some old

Italian man who walked before the earth was born, virtuous pagans. Yeah. It's the six and six of the afterlife. You want to be part of that, Clemson? It's the Wake Forest afterlife. It's the Bowden. It's the Clemson Bowden era. You want to be spat out somewhere

lukewarm. South Bend, Indiana sounds about right. Now, Clemson, not only were you lukewarm at the end of regulation. You failed the entire charismatic movement. In fact, you failed all of Protestant tree. Because Catholics only got

60 minutes in them. Catholics are only good for an hour. Catholics perform for an hour and then they leave. They are done. They will see you the next week. Pentecostals, Clemson, such as yourself, you're supposed to be there all day.

Overtime is your time to shine. Overtime, that's altar call one, all right? That is the time to win souls for the Lord. All right? And I'm not, hey, Methodists, I'm not talking to you. All right. We're talking about these charismatic-ass Protestants like Clemson. I understand y'all get out of church in 75 minutes. That's awesome for you. You're efficient. You get to watch the NFL.

We don't give a shit about that here at Clemson. We're here to go to church until 3.30 in the afternoon. And then go to Hardee's and come right back for night church. There are snakes to handle. So what happened during that first altar call, Clemson? Did you win souls for the Lord? Did you lay the football at the foot of the cross in the end zone? no no you stood there with your hands in your pockets well the the football the football has to cross the plane of the football has to cross the plane at the foot of the cross nope like it so we're so what we do Clemson we're gonna sing one more verse

we're gonna go to overtime too and you lost to a bunch of fucking Catholics after 60 minutes Jason what's the Bible say about rich men getting into heaven I mean, it's Davo Dabo's pretty wretch man, didn't he? Eight million dollars a year just to get

out efforted after an hour by a bunch of Catholics. And they had to literally watch the good book beat them. You lost to the book. He lost to the book. Should have been reading the book, but you weren't reading them, were you?

Because he threw for what's the number of, yards numbers that's the old testament we don't read that here in the pentecostal church we don't read all that but uh yeah clemson you are you are now a loathsome spider held over the lake of fire um the shit was predestined uh depart from me i never knew oh by the way i was it so here in uh baby blue cob county uh blue three elections in a row by way um i just want to point out that the only pick up flags i have seen this weekend um after seeing photos

of Trump flags and anti-BLM flags and Confederate flags in other places, not here in Baby Blue Cobb County, of course. The only truck flag that I have seen all weekend was a Notre Dame flag. Back out, baby. Catholics are more powerful than ever. I got to go learn Latin, man. Take him back over.

Ooh, Jason, you're going to like Latin because you can pronounce it pretty much however you want, and no one can tell you you're wrong. That's true. Oh, shit, yeah. We don't know what it sounded like. Perfect I would

P.A. Yaysu. I'd just like to point out by the way that the only people who definitely had a good who had the good book on Saturday night were the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Requiem damn near Kildium.

Damn. No? I'm going back to Nintendo. Yeah. Yeah. E-book was awesome, though. He was great. It was a pretty good book, yeah. He was. And also, like, if you want to see, like, the little thing,

go watch that game and go watch Blitz pick up. That's my technical thing, because every time Brett Vendables did one of his galaxy brain blitzes where it's like, I have blitzed 14 people on this play and yet have eight in coverage because I'm a new math. Every time they did that, Notre Dame picked it up. And it was stunning. Mostly, by the way, because of the hard work and effort

of the running backs. who just slid and picked Kyron Williams was awesome in blitz pickup that's like normally you point that out and they're like oh whatever that's kind of a boring detail no go watch him

he was looking for people he was looking for rushers to hit it was so inspiring to watch him take what is normally drudge work for a running back and take obvious glee in completely destroying his man it was it was very very cool

and that's probably the nicest thing I'll ever say about Notre Dame football but when you kick ass then the ass kicking must be appreciated by all of those who are into the kicking of ass and kairn williams was just doing nothing but that on saturday night it was so absolutely cool to watch um i want to talk about something that uh is it's pretty pretty pretty simple when you lay it out you know who screwed up on saturday you know you know who you know who spit the biggest bit of all.

That'd be Virginia Tech. This is the dumbest shit. This is going to hurt. It hurts me. It hurts. This is going to make my teeth hurt, but I think I have to share it with you if you did not see it. Okay. Because it was when you go, oh man, that's the worst thing I've ever seen on a football field.

I really came close to thinking that this was one of the worst ways to lose a football game, not involving the refs, losing their mind. like ECU Tulsa the other week. No, no, no. This is one of the worst like own goals I have ever seen on a football field at the end of the game. This was was, was, was this better or worse

than Narduzzi? Worse. Okay. I'm gonna call it worse. It was certainly, this is liberty. I guess I was thinking in terms of the explanation at the end of the game and the flimsyness thereof. yeah this was more like this was more literary in its in its awful like you know no that's an excellent point

the duke the the the the the Miami Duke um return at the end of the game like that to me is the worst way to lose a game where you lose the combination of like insane play and you got screwed on the call and it's the very last thing that happened like that is the worst way this is like the most psychologically traumatic way it all happened so quickly but also it didn't that's the other fucking part about it is that it all happened with like time and the ability to make choices it wasn't like that's the difference is it wasn't like oh you know we screwed up um we screwed up our prevent coverage and a guy got behind us and we accidentally tipped it to him like that's just such a freak occurrence. This was the combination of freak occurrence, uh, bad decision making and like

personal hell. So we're also I, you know, I say this is difficult, but also I'm not being paid four million dollars to make the right call there. So Spencer, tell people, tell people what happens since we've now built it up. Okay. So I'm going to go ahead and just say, I'm going to put Virginia Tech's entire brain in a pressure cooker before we ever get to the point for a good good tech but we're really talking about one dude um yeah just the point and it brings me no joy to say that yeah um because virginia tech uh is gone back and forth with liberty the whole game as is in fact in the fourth quarter losing first of all geez no it's tied it's tied well they okay no but they're you're going further back okay i'm going a little bit further back because the last two

the last two or three minutes of this game absolutely bonkers like nuts liberty gets the ball back with 546 left. They go down and they score. They leave too much time on the clock because Virginia Tech responds in kind, goes down with just like under two minutes. It's like a minute 40 left. They go down and they score in about 50 seconds. And they leave 52 on the clock, thus giving Liberty the ball back with 52 seconds. And here's where it gets really, really messed up. Because Liberty gets the ball begins working their way steadily down the field and gets in range for a very very long field goal a 57 yarder i think at this point 55 here 59 59 is there not also a a little bit of a threat about that particular kicker's career long heading into this oh nowhere close to it

42 42 402 yeah so they're lining up for a 59 yarder and they snap the ball about five seconds or no nine seconds left they snap the ball and kick is blocked it is returned for a touchdown if anybody wants to make the dramatic interjection here do so because it's returned out time oh oh hey hey Justin Fuente thank you yeah What's you doing? What's you doing, buddy? Virginia Tech called timeout before the blocked field goal that would have won them the game and ended it in regulation.

It's going to end the regulation. Oh, it's going to end it. Oh, yeah. So they call timeout, thus negating the return and the TD, which would have won them the game. Liberty gets the ball back. And they call prevent defense to respond to liberties presumed. I don't know. They're like, oh, maybe they're going to call a Hail Mary.

You could only see three Virginia Tech defenders on the screen on this final play. Liberty on 4th and 6 happily takes an 8-yard out to get it to the Virginia Tech 33. Alex Barber lines up for what would be a career-long 51-yarder, which he can take because Virginia Tech gave up all of the yardage, including those easy side line outs. Because, I don't know, man, he's only got a 42-yarder in the bag. Who says he's got the iron to hit a 51-yarder, which is exactly what he does on the next nap,

causing Virginia Tech to lose at home to deliver D. Flames? Hey, I have a follow-up question. Why did Justin Twente take that time out? Because he wanted to make sure he had his block team on the field. There it is. Hey, hey. There it is. he confirmed he did yeah nobody nobody it's good to check you can't be too sure never assume

nobody is bringing that up he did never assume half the block team on the field good job would you that means that means your special teams coach did his job so now you go to your special teams coach you say coach thank you for your attention to detail that's a man who is never going to leave the oven on when he is pulling out of the driveway he will he will I mean We will turn the car around six hours later to go turn the oven off. Would you rather have a house? I would. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, my favorite part about this is, so Justice Winze tried to ice the kicker here. From at least one perspective, right? We know he was really checking his personnel. But from a certain perspective, he tried to ice freeze. This would never work. Was that going to work? chill out

yeah like you you you attacked ice type Pokemon with with ice freeze in hell I'm trying to remember other actual lines from cold

oh it was like it was like nothing but puns like every single line ice to meet you time to chill out there's a hockey fight there's a hockey fight in that movie Batman and Robin

fight hockey players man Arnold doesn't even have the worst line in that movie that belongs to Chris O'Donnell saying my rubber lips are immune to your charms only he says it like a real person Oh yeah he says it to Ouma I don't even like that movie is so dumb I can't even tell if that's a joke or not

That one just seared itself onto the surface of my brain Is the only explanation I know Not only is that like a line in the movie It's a key plot point So he like he really has rubber lips Correct have we called the Trump voter hotline about his rubber lips we should do that here you call go ahead call with rubber lips

while we bring up the last thing I wanted to talk about which is this that after saving Big Ten football and demanding to play football demanding the return of a game that means so much to the state of Nebraska the number you called was busy was busy all thank you to Tennessee fans who do not have John Curry to stress text anymore,

but now have this valuable outlet. I'm sorry, please continue. You know who's not busy count wins? Nebraska. Yeah. I'd like to report a fraud. Scott Frost. They lost the Northwestern.

Called the Trump Frost Hotline. Oh, God, they got to play Penn State next. Jesus. the desperation bowl i i am increasingly thinking that if we were going to do this season we should have made it triple elimination like we should have just scheduled like let everybody schedule what they did wanted to but once you lose three games like your season's just done at that point because you don't have a ton to play for and in the case of penn state like i think we've seen enough i'm satisfied Is there anything left that you're like,

well, I'd really like to see Penn State. No. Anybody who still wants to see Penn State, that's it. Penn State, sicko's team of the year. That's your problem. That's a deep competition. Yeah.

There's a lot of sicko teams out here. Yeah, but like... 12 just got started. Give them time. UCLA is a pretty good sicko team. I think Nebraska's the sicko team of the year. here. I mean, come on, man. They spent the whole summer saying yes. Ha, ha, ha, yes. And are now the Gadsden snake and that meme going, I specifically requested the opposite of this.

Nebraska football, that's my purse. I don't know you.