Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK: CLASS SOLIDARITY OF THE MOST TENUOUS SORT TO OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

The title game is still going on when this episode begins. It is over when the episode ends. Relive the final 13 minutes and 54 seconds with us!This isn't as entertaining as the time we popped in live during that one Bama-Clemson title game. You know the one, where Bama used their kicker as a lead blocker on 4th and 6. Also, Clemson was lined up in a FG-safe alignment five yards off the line of scrimmage because it was 4th and 6. So as soon as the kicker bailed on his usual thing (immediately), Nyles Pinckney (a freshman!) put Mac Jones on the ground before he’d even fully started to run from his kneeling position. You remember. Anyway, nothing half so interesting happens here, but we do get a live doink reaction, and also capture the instant emotion of watching a team in a high-pressure situation try and single-cover Jeremiah Smith.Welp, time to go job hunting with Ryan Day!Tracking Ohio State superfans through the stadiumA detailed discussion of what happens to various bodily fluids applied to field turfChecking in with an old friend online (it's Sean Connery)A structural examination of Puddles, which is the name of Oregon's mascotThe least family-friendly Milton Berle moment ever seen on this showSteven Spielberg movies, rankedCareer advice for Jack SawyerWill Howard drop the skincare regimen pls, Gotham must knowLet's look back at our playoff picks!Setting the agenda for the next six to eight years of Florida State jokesDo you agree??Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

I think this is not the game for Herbst Street and Fowler, though. I do want Gus on this one because Gus would just be... There's a number of moments they have not been prepared to meet this evening. Neat. Gus at this point would be talking only the craziest salad. He would have the most amazing nicknames for Will Howard. Like salad. Yeah.

That's me salad. I'd call him the salad man. Niswa Howard I call him the salad shooter And he's his own ammunition That's pretty good I got really good against Johnson this year And I don't know why I think it's what I think it's

When Will Howard He's green goblin tucks that ball and runs He's eating up so much green grass I call him the salad eater So close So close The worm that destroys. Cucumber!

Just Joel Clat next to him circling. Notre Dame had 14 men on the field in that way. In the vaults of our hearts and brains, danger waves. You gotta bring them all. The most stable elements, Clarice, appear in the middle of the periodic table, roughly between iron and silver. I call him Meta Musel Howard because he keeps the offense regular. I like Gus trying to impart drama into Notre Dame's offense.

There's not even time for a full Gus Johnson call even on a successful Notre Dame play. Riley Lennar. Oh, he gained four yards. Oh, is there a turnover? Do we have a turnover? Uh-oh. Let us watch. Uh-oh.

We have jinxed the Buckeyes. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. All right, let's see what happens. Hi. First of all, hi, everybody. Hi. Welcome back to the full cast after dark

Brought to you by LinkedIn We'll do the real welcome in a second But LinkedIn remains It's not actually the sponsor There's a hundred people in here You can't all be going to sleep Come on No I know

There's probably more than 100 people I will keep doing Gus Johnson as Hannibal Until morale improves Surely that's far more than 100 And we're just gonna I'm only going by the counter on the screen I can't even see the counter on the screen Yeah, I don't see the counter anymore, so...

Wait, how do I have admin privileges? That can't be right. Which one are you looking at? I'm looking at the one on the stream yard. Huh. Yeah, I don't see anything. So it's thousands. If you are here, congratulations, this is where the information about the off-world shuttle will be released,

only to listeners of Fullcast After Dark. All else consigned to the dying Earth. But here on Fullcast After Dark, we escape to the stars. Would they have you back, you think? the FBI What'd you get in the capsule The shiny capsule The beautiful, perfect gleaming

So what do you think, Joel? Does Lecter want a fucker or kill her Or either alive? Wait, that's Mason Verger. Shit. It's probably a little bit of both, Gus. All right. Do you want to start the show?

Yeah, you know what? Last run. Last run for the 2024-25 season. We'll get it cleared up here. Welcome to the full cast after dark. Catholic Roo! Buckeye noises. Hey, okay, you think gargoyles are ever sad that they can't look back at it?

Because they got some haunches. I've been thinking a lot about Notre Dame and Notre Dame. Are you sure that they can't because they're pretty flexible? Ryan, they're made of fucking rocks. Get in the game. As far as you know. Until we're not looking and then they come to life. Ryan, this isn't the Christmas toy.

They protect us by moving. Yeah. And how could they have all that ass if they couldn't get in the gym? Practice, squatting. I was thinking of gargol. It's a good three technique, yeah. Like, you want them up there in the trenches. All right.

I'm sorry I lashed out, Ryan. Not sorry for lashing out of anybody else ever. They put their whole gargussie into that one. the attack comes not from the front but from the side thank you pastor spencer where are we in this football game which is still happening and is changing somewhat rapidly as we speak yeah hi i'm i'm spencer hall and i am currently watching the college football playoff national championship there are 13 minutes and 54 seconds left in the fourth quarter and notre dame is losing to the Ohio State Buckeyes by a score of 31 to 15,

and Riley Leonard just did something bold that he has not done all night long, which is he completed a pass downfield. Pretty good, too. This is shortly after Notre Dame got their first defensive stop of the game with a fumble recovery. They had not stopped Ohio State from scoring when they had the ball any time during the first three quarters, which when you look at other instances of blowout national championship games,

man, everybody gets at least one stop earlier than that. Even TCU against Georgia, 1330 in the third quarter, they got their first stop. They held Georgia to no points. I think that Notre Dame's first drive of this game counts as a stop. Yeah. Okay. Because it was more than just an offensive drive. It was all three phases, even though.

Until that fumble recovery. It was certainly their most effective defense. Yes. It certainly stopped Riley Leonard's digestive process. It was an audio book-ass drive. I think Bubba Prague said, sorry, excuse me, Tim Burke, let's use his government name, Free Bubba Prague, said that it was longer than all but two of Army's drives this season.

Wow. Which, if that doesn't put it in perspective. It was stirring. I'll give it that. It was. And then after that, nothing. You got nothing until this last score. Until now.

Yeah, until now. Which, okay, so we started, we don't usually start after dark in the middle of the national championship game. Mostly because that's not, the national championship game isn't played most weeks. Although if we had been doing this the last time Notre Dame played in a national championship game, we probably would have. That's fair. Could have started the second quarter, actually. But we are either about to watch one of the most stunning collapses in college football history, if Ohio. Ohio State doesn't win this game, which is more on the table than I think we thought it was

when we said, okay, time to go set up. Or Notre Dame is just providing, is going to do that thing where it's like, oh, we showed just enough to make you think we could have won this game that realistically we were never going to win. I think that the main thing is Ryan Day should be fired. Yeah. Immediately. This is just unacceptable, letting this team back in the game.

Get his ass out of here. It is weird that Ohio State's only up two scores. Yeah. Like that's weird considering what we've watched. They've basically doubled them up in yardage until the last player or two. And I've doubled them up in points, to be fair, technically, sure, I guess. That math doesn't quite work out. But, yeah, it definitely feels like a lot more than this.

This is setting up one of the funnier things that could happen after this. Or sound conversion. Yes. The Cardiac Irish. Fire him. Fire him. Sure. The Cardiac Irish, which you know.

Get LeBron down there. He's in the building. He can save this. Brought to you by Kerry Gold. Yeah, I am, the thing that might happen that would be the funniest possible thing would be for Ryan Day to win this and then immediately cut a passionate promo against his own fan base. I mean, just. Great idea. Yeah.

that would be don't steal don't steal who said that first holly said it happens every fucking day to worry about holly said it uh the the other thing that is delightful about this is that ryan day uh Ryan day still has to coach Ohio State he doesn't that's not true he can take the Raiders job he can take the Jags job he can take the Saints job New Orleans Saints head coach Ryan day swirl that around in your mouth for a little bit let me know how it tastes he could go be the lion's OC he's gonna have to find some water fast uh hair solutions which one of those is the like which honestly at this point given his current level of misery which one of those absolutely fucking cursed jobs raiders

they had the worst quarterback situation in the league yeah their pick isn't that great his boss is tom fucking Brady yeah don't take the raiders job unless you just like money but he already makes more there also nothing about Ryan Day is like oh he looks like living in Las Vegas would really suit him that might destroy him yeah what if he okay

what if he quit to just retire he's rich that's what all these guys should do yeah once you have 10 million dollars in a trophy get the fuck out yeah but you know in Nevada you know it's a manageable income tax

you got 10 million huh you could turn that into 20 million I was going to say brother and then you got 20 million now it's house money so you might as well gamble it all so you might as well this is going to be another important chapter in the shutdown full cast

upcoming business treatise business prison which we wrote which we wrote over the show is this DLC is business casino an expansion Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is. It's also, it tells you how to take the casino that you run out of the toilet of your small prison cell

and expand it to the biggest toilet of all the real world. It's so true. I love the lore that you're building in these. Yeah. These books have just got to be just such minimal effort. So this expansion kit, you know, it's like 20 pages, just like AI spew. Business. Business never changes.

But somehow it expands the lore by unlocking a second location. I have a pipe dream of writing this and then getting people to endorse it with quotes and seeing if we can get Lane Kiffin to endorse it on his Instagram. Oh, we, I bet we can get Rudy. It wouldn't be hard. We just got to write it on a rock. Rudy Riddiger would be in for this. Just like, here's how we do it.

Just put like Proverbs 7438 below it and he'll say stirring. That's what he'll say. Moving. Is Notre Dame going to go for this fourth and goal? They have to, right? Yeah, nine minutes. I got to call. Like being 60, I guess not.

Okay, no mind. Okay, now they're within two touchdowns. I don't think being down 13 is significantly better than being down 16, but sure. Sure, man. I guess. Okay, Marcus, this feels like a defensive coordinator call. That's what this feels like. A little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. We'll get the ball back. That's always. We'll get stops. Oh, God. Most irritating thing to me at all. Dogged it! Dogged it! Yeah. Fucking dogged it!

Oh, my God. You guys are just far enough ahead of me to where I, you say this, and I can look up and see it. Thank you. Oh, they're going to. He thought it was a reed of ball. That guy was going to take it back off. Yeah. Oh, man, they wore their good helmets and everything. Man, Marcus, okay, Marcus Freeman has kept up a great. like that the you know the very I mean that doesn't work at all because but we've been mixing up Western Europe all week he's got this very like stiff upper lip thing going yeah even though that's

British not French but as we said all of Europe is the same yep and when that doink hit and they cut to him you could see the light dim in his eyes just a little bit and I haven't seen do that all year and there it goes because also something stupid something real stupid could still happen when you are down 16 points in the National Championship game, it's not time to do the like responsible thing. It's not time to be like, just

take the points and continue on in your pursuit. It's time to do cool shit, okay? You already tried a fake punt that didn't work. Commit to the cool shit. Short field goal on fourth and goal is not cool shit. I think it's pretty cool because that ball hit the fuck out of the

post. You saw it. I like when it hit the post, it just froze. It hit it with authority. Yeah, there is a scenario. here where say Notre Dame does get a stop or two and gets a touchdown or two, there's a scenario where Joel Anderson was right during our live show when he hypothesized that Marcus Freeman could become the next coach to lose a national title by settling for a field goal. That scenario is on the table. Okay. We do have something to live for. So wouldn't that be something? There is a on the field correspondent or anonymous

on the field correspondent sent me some fascinating information that in this particular arrangement of fans at the stadium Ohio states two super fans the diametrically opposed good saintly wholesome big nut he is in one corner of the stadium they separated them and on the exact opposite corner is the evil bad loathed buck eye guy wait I thought one of those guys was dead. Am I thinking of the Georgia version? You're thinking of the Georgia guy. Thank you.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Which one crashed his funerals? That would be buck-eye guy. I think that's bug-eye guy. Thank you. Yes.

Yeah. I have met both of them and I have to say, completely accurate reading, Buck-Eye guy loads of some big nut. Pretty cool. He's all right. He's all right. He's all right with me. Inside you, there are two nuts.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's a, hmm. Yeah. Thanks, thanks to porthub's restrictions, most of you won't be able to find out anymore. You won't be able to research.

This show has made me ponder physics questions that I think otherwise never would have occurred to me. I'm going to throw this question open to the commenters as well. Where does the funding come for a Buckeye guy or a big nut? this is not a like they're an NGO right is that what is do you think it's like the corporation for public broadcasting yeah is is throwing them five hundred thousand dollars so they get nil are either of them technically a farm or a state wait can we tell can we tell this story while we're here and doing nothing can we tell the story about the funeral and whichever one of them that was because i'm sure not everybody in the audience knows about that.

Okay, hold on. Spencer, you know it, don't you? Yeah, this is the story of a Buckeye guy at former Ohio State Coach Earl Bruce's funeral. There was a card that was going to be from... No, it wasn't a card, it was a photo. I'm sorry, it was a photo. It's like one of those big photos.

Yeah, and it's like a condolence photo, right? Where everybody who showed up from this team was going to sign it from the team and they were going to sign it and hand it to Earl's family. And the Buckeye guy just showed up and signed it, just sauntered up and signed it. Wait, like he was a player? Like he was a fucking player. And was posing.

You can still see a photo. Here, I'll drop it in. Hold on. I'll drop it in the chat here. I thought it was just that he showed up at the funeral. Oh, he was basically posing for, like, photo ops. Goodness. All right.

And he charges for him. You can see in the, and, the link that I have dropped in our public chat and I will drop it in our private chat as well you can see a close up of here's the thing Buckeye guy is

obviously not his birth certificate name but that is what he wrote on this photo love you coach and then in the middle of it is this dumb ass some asshole man like

right at the ear, too. Yes. Prime real estate. Yeah, he didn't be like, you know what, I'm going to pick, like, a subtle corner. With, I got to say, some inconsistent handwriting that if I got a handwritten note in it would make, from a neighbor would make me pause about speaking to that neighbor in the laundry room. It's to throw the police off the set. They must never know the real identity of Buckeye guy. I like that the idea that you know like you the special agent would have to go to big nut

and be like you know as he's in the asylum in his silver straight jacket and they'd be like tell me what you know about Buckeye guy it's like first a question for you agent how the how the O line look last week the solid guard play Thank you David Roy for introducing the phrase With your government name via LinkedIn Longtime listener David Roy For invoking the phrase Notorious Glistening Affairs with Matthew Lesko

Thank you Oh here comes another Notre Dame stop Man oh okay 634 to go For a field goal I smell another field goal drive coming up. Chris Paul hits three, well, it's down 62.

My OCD is telling me, you got to kick one on the right pole now. You got to kick one off the right up, right? The left one's been touched. You got to touch the right one. You gotta balance it out. This is, see, this is where, this is where the long proposed rule back in EDSBSs days of if you kick a ball and you hit both uprights and the crossbar, you win the game. Because, like, Notre Dame could have been spending this entire time, like, trying to get a specialty kick lined up and less time running Riley Leonard into big guys that make him barf.

That drive was so sick, though. Oh, it was awesome. Oh, I loved it. I know he was sick as well, but that drive was awesome. No, he was made sick by the sickness of that drive. That's when you know it's good. By the way. Oh, oh, sorry.

I asked, I did some reporting after that happened. And I texted an on-the-scene member of the media who is a former Division I football person. And I asked him, what happens to puke on turf? Huh. Because, especially in a dome, right? Yeah. Because in my head, I'm like, oh, surely they've got a shop vac or like a, right, or like some kind of system. I was imagining, like, oh, they hose it down real quick, and then they shop vac up all the puke liquid, which is just,

disgusting, but that's what shop backs are for, or, you know, they throw sawdust down, blah, blah, blah, and the response I got was four words that will chill me forever. It is just there. Hell yeah. It's just there. And then, and then four words, second text message, same with dip spit. Sure. It's like all the dead people and pee in the ocean. It's just there. So, Holly, what, what fluid do you, like, if someone poops on the turf, they're not. just leaving that there, are they? I mean, if they're leaving puke, maybe they are. I appreciate that you led this question with my name. You're the one with the sources. All right, hang on, I'm going to ask. Let's see if we, the game is closer to the end, so I'm not sure where he's at right now. Let me see if it. Again, thanks to Pornhub restrictions, you won't be able to Google this one the old-fashioned way. I mean, that's why you need to log in and be a member. If they don't consider vomit to be a health hazard,

let alone like a traction hazard. Sure. I can't think that shit would be considered a hazard. Right, poop is probably fine. Unless you, like, make a, make a GA pick it up, but what if it's liquid, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is again, this is again why next season, the full cast after dark will be broadcasting

on Pornhub live. That's right. The steadiest platform on all of the internet. But it's not next season, Spencer. It's this season. And who is the full cast after dark brought to you by this season? I'm ready. I'm ready.

It's brought to you by prize picks. That's right. Prize picks. You can run your game all season long on prize picks, and that's not over because the NFL's coming up. And if you want to do what makes me so happy, you could do this. You could go download that prize picks app and join 10 million members and they're billions of dollars in awarded winnings by just picking more.

that's right or more less on at least two players for a shot to win up to one thousand times your cash uh if you got it coming up listen more and josh allen more and josh allen that's all you need to know yeah this is this is the year as soon as i saw josh allen clapping like a seal like a human gold retriever in the back of the room during sean mcdermott's nine eleven inspired post game speech where he said y'all got after it like my heart Hamidata. Yeah. That's... He didn't say that. But he thought it. He felt it. Yeah, he might have.

No, he plausibly might have. I did like that. Our friend of the program, Victoria, pointed out that Josh Allen, it looks like Arthur Morgan when you don't groom him at this point. Yeah. When you hit him with the hair tonic? Arthur's sick. I just I don't want to make him fuss over himself when he feels sick

Make him comfortable and put him in the finest threads because I want him to know Arthur Morgan had that shit on Arthur it's okay you can do this mission in your sweats That's Josh Allen and like Arthur Morgan you know what he's out there doing Killing it being a gunslinger Dead eyes Jedi More down in beans More bills more James Cook

tables more more more more i just need more time dutch that's right oh my god there go the irish they're back inside the 30 this is setting up a thrilling field goal riley leonard more more carries riley leonking into people that's right that's right just do that and you can get your winnings in as little as 15 minutes and also they now offer master card for quick and easy deposits into your account. That is why you should download the app today and use full cast dark to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's right. Y'all are sexy late night people. That's why you get this special $50 offer. Is it also valid for the other edition of the full cast we do? Yeah, but you know what? The full cast dark lets them know you're sexy.

That's right. And it's always sexy somewhere, right? It's always dark somewhere. It's always dark somewhere. Yeah, that's right. So it's always full cast dark to get $50 instantly after you play your first five dollar lineup prize picks run your game uh flawless ad read so this is gonna this is going to this is going to be ohio state wins i'm i'm speculating here oh high state wins but didn't dominate the second half the way people wanted them to and it's like oh god he's full of shit absolutely doesn't have the right mentality piece of crap hate him right really suspect i mean when you look at how this game is playing out it it reminds me of the shape of their regular season right It just started hot, lots of nice, nice big numbers, and everything's going really great, really fine,

and then it just all goes to shit at the end, you know? That's what I think of when I think of 2024 Ohio State, and that's this game. It kind of really doesn't matter, you know, having a good score and winning a bunch of games and all that if you can't get, if the thing that happens at the very end is bad, it just ruins the whole rest of it. That's true. That's true. It doesn't mean anything. It's really sad.

What do you guys want to talk about? Oh. Besides firing rain day? How does Spencer get to sigh there? Oh, dang. He is the weariest in some ways. In some ways. It's not earned, but it is true.

Okay. It's not a deserving weariness, but... Sure. Listen, think about it this way, Holly. It's hard to be around Spencer, but he has to be around Spencer. all the time. Spencer has actually cited this defense before. Like, we get a break.

No one's readier for the destruction of me than me. Right? Like, hammer of God, yeah, bring it. That's awesome. I don't have to be me anymore. He can't even go to somebody else and be like, God, I had to fucking deal with Spencer today. Like, that won't work. No.

Y'all think it's bad out there. In here? You should hear it. what's it sound like um it sounds like somebody going more more more i assume it sounds like the tall shelves in a Costco dominoing one another over but slowly it's just like bang yeah well like the theme to a 1970s or 1980s bang soap opera is playing behind it yeah wait wait wait wait no word bang actually the song that plays over this is splendido from the price is right the thing do do do do do do do do do do oh god bang oh those that was the wine models

bang bang bang bang oh that's the worst yeah the thing i would want to talk about is this that in the entire college football playoff of which i am pretty neutral in terms of having an overall like positive our negative. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, it's important to have big feelings after one version of this. I have no improvements for you other than maybe fuck with the seating a little bit. The thing that I would take away from it is this, that the best game was the one, that one of the games that nobody wanted because of the seating. That's right, Arizona State, Texas.

Arizona State, Texas was the best goddamn game in this playoff. It was so good. And it was such a great script and such a showcase for, The baddest-ass player in all of the playoff. I know. There's real mutants out there. Another puke guy. Yeah, another puke guy.

Another boot, the boot and rally master, Cam Scataboo. Like, that whole game was just fucking great. Yeah, but where puke master, oh, shit, touched on another team. Right in front of Brutus. In your face, Brutus. Nasty. Nasty PI, too. God, Jason's going to be right

this field, this don't feel goal is going to be the whatever's going to happen on this two-point conversion is going to be the stupidest shit you've ever seen. Cousin Joel is wise. He always is. Except the part where he got on stage with the full cast, that part.

You know, professionally. That was a setback on the way to an achievement. That's true, I think. That's true. God, Ryan Day looks so nervous right now. Like, when do you look at Ryan Day and think he's not thinking, God, I want to die. I want to die so bad, but I can't let go of this mortal coil.

Have any of you driven a child who is prone to being car sick? Yeah. He has the look of somebody who's like, it's been 40 minutes, and I'm like, we've got to get there. This is not going to keep working. Oh, Jesus, this two-point conversion is perfect. It's perfect. They are now within one. What the hell?

What? Four minutes to go in Notre Dame is within a touchdown. Okay, listen, listen, I looked up for the last half second of this, but what my eyes saw was him throwing the two-point conversion while running backwards away towards the other end. No, your eyes do not deceive you. Oh, Lou Holtz is up there. This might kill him.

Lou Holt's wearing a hat that says 88. All right. Cool. Normal. Where's the 14? Yeah. Lou? Maybe it's on the back.

Huh. Okay. Well, engage tight buttholes, everyone. See, this is why we logged on, y'all, because we knew that drama was a flip. Also, for those of you who keep saying that we did this during Bambick-Clemson game, false. The halftime Bam-McClemson game was something that we had pre-planned because we had guests.

And then we just kept going into the third quarter, which is when the fun shit happened. So, okay, yeah. Damn. I maintain, I was still right, that's the dumbest shit I've ever seen in my life. Are there Notre Dame people who are telling us what the actual 88 means? Thank you. Do you want to explain any more of my fucking jokes to me?

Yeah, yeah, we know. Thank you. Thank you for your guidance. I'll think next time. I wouldn't have called out the 88 if it had been on a hat worn by anyone, but Lou Holtz. So this was a 31-7 game. How long ago? Let me go look.

Like, you know, when we started this pretty much. Or at least when we logged on to start this. I think we should make it clear. We're joking about Lou Holtz, but the bastard Lude Holtz should be jailed. Wait, in what way are we joking about Lou Holtz? No, like, yeah, no, we're not. I'm glad he's dead. Yeah.

Lou Holtz should be turned out into the West like a judge in the Judge Dread universe who has expired and done his time. I'm sorry, Doug, Doug, I need you to unmute and confirm that what you're saying in our private chat is correct. According to you, producer Doug is here, everyone. give him a hand ESPN has the win probability at 96.8% Ohio State right now Is that correct?

Yes, that is correct as of right now I'm staring at it. 96? 96.8s. Okay, okay. For now. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, damn. Yeah, it's only going down. No, everybody's just reading out fluctuating numbers from their app. This is the best comment section we've had all year. I need you to call out, I need you to call out

what's going to happen on this drive. Because what I think is going to happen on this drive is like 80RTD. I'm just going to start listing people who were born in 1988. Okay. Since we're just doing word, that's literally, we're just doing word association. Guess what? We've become podcast ain't played nobody. The marriage of numbers and words.

What a special. Next thing you're going to tell me SMU has bad politics. This is it. This is it. We're trying to go to a blue sky comment section live on here. I know. It's spread. It's bread. Ooh, I had a good one tonight.

I posted something. Well, we were talking about, because, you know, your boy Anthony Mackie showed up. And I said something to the effect of more like the worst adventure. And then I immediately apologize because calling anybody else the worst adventure is Hawkeye erasure. And then some dude jumped into my mentions and was like, actually Hawkeye is Kate Bishop now. The title doesn't hold. I thought that was going to be the worst thing that happened to me tonight. But the dude after him just posted a picture of the Iowa Hawkeye's mascot.

Like that's, this is also Hawkeye. Yeah, yeah. Upies, mommy. That's a total, that's a total great coat move. Who's that? The guy who's only seen one thing in its college football, getting a lot of college football vibes from this. I just, I need, what I need and I don't have,

because I search the app for it for like 10 minutes, is a really good high-res gif of jangling keys that I can just post back at these people. because I feel like it'll keep them entertained long enough for me to move on with my life. Maybe we could just record one. Yeah, yeah. Is you're the man now dog still up? Could you just send them there?

I feel like that would work. Bring it back. I'm getting strong Sean Connery vibes from this. We've got to run that back. You know, instead of saying badger, badger, badger, badger, you could just say badgers. That's the plural form of the noun. This reminds me of my favorite novel, Finding Forrester.

What's it about, Ryan? It's still up! Yes! It's still up! Oh, my God! The Internet is not dead! The Internet's still good. I'll be on Homestar Runner for this.

Email. Oh, man. Yeah, we're going to watch... Okay, cool. We're going to watch Ohio State really just try to, like, be like, please just try to fart away the clock just just kill it fart away the clock he's wearing gray pants so if

Notre Dame somehow scores again you're going to be able to see the poop stain just spread on the back of Brian Day fans by the way I have not heard back from my my text to a professional grown man of what if they shit on the sideline I hope that he has left his I hope he's left his phone somewhere where other people can see this And you just keep asking, like, urgent, need to know, like, hurry, please.

Hold on. Hold on. Maybe they don't know. Maybe they don't know. And that's why BIVA wasn't allowed to go to the SEC championship game. Because you're like, we don't know what to do with that. Oh, my God. There's no protocol in place. This would imply that. Falcons joke, but this is a happy place.

Yeah. Oh, Riley, don't eat that. I think this, Ryan, is a good theory, but it would imply that Puddles has never shot a sideline. oh listen what do we think what do we think like the viscosity of puddles poop is similar have you I mean is it duck poop yeah I don't know that's a nightmare it's got to be just a huge mound of duck poop I guess it depends on how much you're willing to commit how much of that okay how much of that undercarriage is is hollow I guess is the first question probably more than you want like where's the hole no like like how much of the of the interior of the

undercarriage and and tail is like solid fluff and how much of it is a vessel for storing feces. Like how many, what's the organ capacity in there? Thank you, A.B. Steele, for asking the real question, which I'm going to post. I've got a pin to the chat. Correct. Yep. I'm not going to read the lap. Puttles cloaca, puddles cloaca, puddles cloaca.

puddles cloaca So I don't I think we might be I know puddles is a logical suspect Hold on hold on The best part about the phrase Does puddles have a cloaca Is Oregon fans are going to say

It's not puddles Oh no that's his name That's his name Actually the duck has a cloaca Actually the duck has a cloaca Listen who's dumber Us for saying puddles or you for saying The duck's name is the duck

I think we're all dumb I'm not going to stop doing this voice until y'all cut it the fuck out um i i know the tree i know the tree is an entirely different conversation let's go down this road we've done this before i know the tree has tried it the tree is like we have the tree is trying to poop undoubtedly oh i thought you were saying it's investigated the duck you could store all kinds of shit in that duck that's true. Nike's.

Mm-hmm. Drugs. I would put like, hmm, I would put like an like an intertube back there so I could just kind of flop down. I wonder if he keeps all his costumes. God damn it, Notre Dame. Jeremiah. That's what it looks like.

Oh, come on. You dummies. Jeremiah. Hey, visual acuity is not based on movement. Survey, survey, survey. Who here is a football coach? Uh, coach. All right, therefore, it's not for us to say whether or not it's a good idea to cover Jeremiah Smith. Can I tell you, by the way, this is like an embodiment of the, like, constipated

ass greatness of this team because Ohio State waited this long to try the big play that they could dial up at any fucking time they want by going to outfield at Jeremy, that they could have done this so many other times and only when it's third and 11 and the game's on the line. are they like fine we'll throw to our little mini calvin johnson do you think this they were just like let's remind everyone of the michigan game briefly they just the milton burl ass team they only pull as much dick out as they can to win the bet so it really yeah that's definitely that's so it really is again a synchicity of their season because it had that point and toward the end where it was like oh oh gross right and then now the final two minutes for watching the playoff yeah yeah the word cloud

of this game is going to look like the activation sequence for the Winter Soldier Puddles Cloika Synectity Milton Burrell Shop Fack The Clowns

Oh man are we deep enough in the show for me to say that AI is one of Spielberg's best works Yeah we're there Awesome I think so You can say what I'm wrong about it Everybody's wrong about it than me What is one of his worst works

Well, I know what you're going to say I don't know I don't I'm not I'm not necessarily going to say that I wouldn't know what you're not we're not going to litigate this one again I don't think so I was I was just going to give you a platform to go off on hook No I love hook I just think it's a weird

It's a family movie where I completely misunderstood Oh no no no I just think it's worth remembering That's all Hmm Hmm Spielberg's worst movie

Westside story Not even close Okay Ready Player 1 is up there Okay Oh yeah Ready Player 1 is up there I think he did what he could

I think he did minority report I think major Major Good troll Oh dear you have Great Come on Crate

Stop it Great I would say with Ready Player 1 He did what he could With the source material Yeah but he wasn't Forced to directed That was going to be

The second half of my statement Okay sorry Yeah I interrupted you which is the first time I've ever done that, so I'm going to apologize this time. Well, I would just, yeah, he brought it on himself, but then I guess it's like a,

you recruited these players, but at least you got them pointed in the right direction. Also, Lincoln is fine, but it's like, it looks like homework. Feels like homework. Okay. I will say that, okay, I got one more one that's criminally underrated,

and then we'll move on. Bridge of Spies is, like, way funnier than it has any right to be, and I'm not being glib. Okay. I'll buy it. I haven't seen it. I want a bottle Mark Rylance in this movie. Credit to Spielberg for talking Daniel Day Lewis out of getting shot in the head for Lincoln, though.

Because you know, he was like, I got shot in the head in this scene. That's what method means. That is totally what method means. Thank you. This is just my default voice now. I'm sorry. I don't have another one. Also, shouts out to amazing stories.

Amazing stories is like superb. God, you're old. God, Milton Burrell and amazing stories. You're old shit. Oh, you can't abide by that west side story state, commenter? Get out. Sorry. Hey, this is the internet's only movie podcast, all right?

Is it? I'll get older. Empire of the sun, Ryan. Empire of the sun's underrated. Fantastic score. Movie fucking rules. This is a sports and pop culture podcast, a creature of our own invention. Man, Ryan Day is exercising all the demons.

They're lining up in like super power formation. Like, now we're going to run to finish. Oh, that was so fucking stupid. What was that? They're false starting. And they're full starting. Okay. Does this ref, is it just because they're indoors?

Because for the first time this season, and I feel like we in particular, would have noticed if this was the case before, but did these refs look like they're wearing tearaway pants? A little bit, yeah. Wish they would. Hey, you know, it would make this possession really interesting? If one of the rest was hot and wore tearaway pants? Yeah. If Notre Dame had made that field goal.

They would have been here. Hey, guys, it's the two-minute, whatever. The two-minute stoppies. We got to come up with something way nastier about this for next season. Hey, you know what had been even funnier? If they had actually gone for it on that fourth and scored. Oh, that was a stupid play the second time, too. How interesting.

The two-minute constipation. Yeah. If they'd scored, this game might be tied. Might have been. That's a long shot. I think we all agree that missing the field goal was the worst choice. I think Joel's prophecy is valid. as of right now, until Ohio State scores here.

Unless Ohio State scores a field goal and then Notre Dame scores a touchdown. So, Ohio State fumbles it or something. Yeah, sure. Entirely possible. But, of course, being a defensive coach, we'll get the ball back. We'll get the ball back. How are you going to do that? We'll get a ball back.

We'll get a ball back. I'll pay the bills. I got it. I know. I'm down this month, but I'll get there. All we need is a what? A stop. Yeah.

Every defensive coach is like, I'm just eight hands of blackjack away from being a millionaire. We get four stops, and I get my real estate license, and we're golden. I'm going to plant this flag one more time. Jack Sawyer is going to be the last president of the United States. I don't know why, but I know that I'm right. Is he going to be president as a young man or an old man? Young.

Okay. It won't be long. Don't worry. Okay. Cool. Fuck retirement. Just a few more sleeps until the forever sleep. I don't, okay.

I don't really understand why we're dive bombing Will Howard. Instead of just taking, Ryan Day hates Will Howard so much. If the goal is just... Will Howard doesn't look all that happy about it either. Just take like the, like, shallowest knee possible. I don't need to see Ryan Day bite his lip. Get the baby girl camera off of him.

Jesus. He's sexual. I wonder if it's that Riley Leonard has puked enough that Will Howard feels guilty for... Oh, this is anything you can do, I can do better. Sure. He's just like, you know, let me just dive onto my tummy. Sure.

Sure. I do love those first drive pukes, though, because I know everybody, every coach, one side effect of everyone being so paranoid about hydration and drilling into their, you know, players' heads that they have to be hydrated is that you can always spot somebody puking on the sideline after the first drive. And it's colors. It's always a color. It's always vivid.

Blue puke, orange puke, lemon lime puke. If Ohio State doinks this field goal, I think that arena rules should apply and you should be able to return it off the doink. Still nothing, I'm going to text him again This is for work This is for work Need in next five, please Do the loud notification, right?

Shaky text No, he's got a fucking Android I can't do it It's getting really bad, please hurry Ryan, how do I make an Android phone Like do what I want? Just trade it in for an iPhone Oh, cool

Yeah Urgent Keep running, Will Howard needlessly We got the stop All right Okay, so they're going to end up with, what? 30-ish seconds. Yeah.

Yeah. That's plenty of time for Riley Leonard to run the ball. The magic man. Eleven times. It's not wise to upset a future dentist. Air Leonard. Do you get an 11er? The rare eleviner.

Get that rock and jock touchdown. If I throw it in the bird's nest in the mezzanine. Hey, you don't be great. Hey, do you think they know the clock's running? They don't care. Okay. I think the move here, fake field goal, just throw a touchdown. Fuck them.

No, that's, yeah. Like, you're up, you're up eight. This is 28 seconds to go. If you run a fake field goal, you'll probably kill another, like, five, six seconds. Fuck it. Just go for the, just go for a mean touchdown. Kickers got, like, kind of, like, kind of like a long-haired van by the river-looking kicker. This might be over.

I think you got to fire Ryan Day. Yeah, yeah. There will be, that argument will be made, I probably. No, no, no, this was not a definitive win. Didn't cover it at this as of right now. I think what Jason's saying is that the Raiders have to fire Ryan. Raiders. Jonathan Serna raises an excellent point here.

Catholics believe in miracles, but you know what they also believe in? Faith is nothing without the presence of good works. And I don't see a lot of good works here, Ryan. Day. Not you, Ryan. You're precious. I think Tom Brady should post a statement that says, we are not interested in Ryan Day.

did anyone ask no the jaggs have asked permission to talk to ryan day and ryan day said no no one more time just because it's cold outside one more time for the year shout out to all players who wear full white tights into white cleats because it looks like they are playing in footy pajamas we love this yeah it's got a real ballet vibe to it Notre Dame also wearing your good uniforms thank you for bringing the good helmets hey if you're the kicker you just just called this the game when he killed all right. Fucking nailed it. Spencer, what was that serenity?

Oh my God, I almost thought. Spencer, what was that serenity prayer you made about the Michigan State kicker that one time? The one that cussed in the press conference? I'll have to go look. He was awesome, though. I do want the Jacks to hire another Ohio State coach now that we... This one will work. Now that we've really...

Jim Tressel. Let's bring it out. He'll wear the best. Let's run through all of them. The teal fest. The Jaguar print. No shirt. The tie, though.

Oh, here we go. November 21st, 2015. That was Michael Geiger of Michigan. Oh, God, I forgot what game this was. I'm sorry. This was Michigan State's Michael Geiger connecting on a 41-yard field goal to snap Ohio State's 23-game win streak. Whoops. I just saw Ryan Day smile,

which I honestly do not remember the last time. It's been a little bit. Not to get sexual again, but I didn't know his face could do that. All right. Well, this was a national championship game. This was a national championship game. I guess. This sure was worth having three of these.

It's weird because, like, on the one hand. Neither of these teams are nine and three Alabama. I agree. Yeah, I think that it is what it is. That it is when it is. Like, this is a, yeah, so this. We don't know what to talk about when it's not nine and three Alabama, a team that lost three games. But not to any of these teams, you know?

You know what? Would it be funny if Ohio State had lost this game, they would have had three losses. And then we could have talked about them as being equal to three lost Alabama. This is just college football now. You can, you can look like absolute shit. And then go play another team that once looked like absolute shit. And you beat them. and you're the champ.

But it's also the weirdness of, like, if you said at the start of the season, Ohio State's going to win the national championship, it's just like, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, of course. It's not like, boy, the playoff really spat out some crazy result here from that from the, like, 10,000 feet perspective. Sure. Yeah, it's just college football is different.

And this is the most definitive possible. It sounds like we're explaining to the kids that we're not going to live in the same place anymore. We now know the price, too. 20 mil, baby. Oh, God, oh God. I hope it goes away. Those players are going to snap his... I thought they hit him in the face with the Gatorade cooler.

Right, Notre Dame, if you can hear us, start pooping on the field. There's no answer for it. They can't stop here. And what are they going to do? Suspend you for next game. There isn't one. Yeah. Also, I really want some, I want some, like, Mac team to devote all of the... their NIL.

Mackett team's probably overshooting it, actually. Let's get some Sunbelt team to devote all of their NIL from their one insane booster to just prying one guy off to Sohio State Squad. Sure. Just one. Like, Jeremiah Smith will be playing at. Okay, that's, you know, I'm going to need you to aim a little lower. A little lower.

A little lower. You can move that money around a little bit. Let's get a big 12 team. Yeah. Question from commenter Jake, and it's a good one. I wonder if Ryan Day knows Lou Holtz is there. Oh, he's going to get up, go up and get your ass down here. This can still get fun.

Grab a mic, call him out. We need the shot. I see you. I see you hiding your rafters. With Lou Holtz in the background, both of them pointing at the WrestleMania sign. Ryan Day rips off a rubber mask. It's Jackie Chan. He starts climbing up the inside of the stadium.

Lou Holtz, get your ass down here. Give me what I want. Then some really racist music hits And here comes Lou Holtz Lou Holtz is scuttling into the air vents Like a xenomorph right now Like arthritic Gallum Yeah

It's gonna take him weeks to get him out of there Hey hey you know you gotta do now Ryan I think he's more of a threemigal Ready to loud quit buddy Gotta wait a second doesn't mean shit Yeah hey Ryan guess what We'll be back Start tomorrow you're with

A lot of dumbasses won one championship. You ain't done shit, right? You're just Jimbo with a beard. I think you just glorified at Ogeron. Oh, God. Hey, did the whites of his eyes look flesh-colored in this shot? Like, not red, but they look like the exact color of his face. That face has been through a lot.

Yeah. Every Ohio State season is a presidential term in terms of where, tear on your face. Spencer, I would like to ask you a personal question. Sure. I think this is one of the most, like, geared towards your specific hate national championship matchups we could have gotten. Yeah.

How do you, as a hater, how do you feel with this result? Oh, you know, it would have been cooler if any other two teams were playing. You got to watch Notre Dame lose. I did get to watch Arizona State honk Spencer Hall There's a lot of positives here And the positives are as follows That Caleb Downs is an awesome player to watch

It was cool to see him Succeed and thrive It's very cool to watch Ryan Day Getting beaten up by Jack Sawyer right now Oh God Hugging him but also kind of beating his ass And chasing him around the field I'm going to smack you right in the heart

Jacks higher becomes president by first after his football career, starring in a reboot of White House down in which he plays both the president and the head of the Secret Service. Yeah, that's good. That's good. I know. Yeah. I'm going to say something that's meaner than I mean it to be. Will Howard looks like a pro golfer. Will Howard?

Will Howard, you just played a football game? Where are your fucking pores, man? Yeah. Oh, my God. He looks like porcelain. Let's speak kindly of that man's skincare. This is why he was diving face first into the turf. Will, drop the serums, man.

Tell us. That is a golfer's face. That is the face of a golf. These are like, these are the two, like, these are the two rudy-ass-lookingist quarterbacks. That's true. And it's like, it's astonishing because, like, nobody who looks like you should be able to do that. It's kind of awesome that Will Howard is here because he was all the way out in Manhattan, Kansas, playing for the Kansas State Wildcats prior to this.

Who we love and appreciate. But we love and appreciate. But I like that he did real well there. And we have the system where they say, hey, you want to make some big money playing in Columbus? Come on down. Like, Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, sorry. No one shit on the sideline unless it is in their pants and then you go inside and change. I'm going to ask him what happens if somebody just drops trial on the sideline and goes to town.

Right. But I sense from the. text that he's getting impatient with me and they also have to go to work right now. Listen, Reese, answer the question. Don't time an owl like that, Josh. Shouts out to Quintz. It's going to stay in LinkedIn, but we're going to have to cut that from the thing.

Yeah, there's so many good things here. Also, my rule prevails, which is that the public institution won over the private one, and that's great. Class solidarity of the most tenuous sort to Ohio State Units. University. Hang on. What if it's like a huge amount of blood? So we did one of our, one of our disasters.

What if it's Iker? Okay. What if it's bile? One of our disasters that we didn't get to, I believe from Jay Willis was about a player who bled so much that they had to like cancel the rest of the game so they could get hazmat out there. Yes, I remember that one. Yeah.

Okay. So there is a finite amount. I wonder if there's a finite amount of each given, well, sure, for instance, vomit. Because like, you know, a. a normal human amount of like okay fine just step on it it looks tough so if i'm doing the pyramid from bottom to top okay piss is the most right like it would take a gargantium amount of piss sure shut down the game yeah yeah that's interesting because it's the most likely but also it's the most likely it's like the least harmful but also the most likely to be a huge volume

I mean, our good friend, Mike Golick Jr. has confirmed you're allowed to pee yourself drink. Right, exactly. Like, piss is basically an acceptable substance. Yeah. It's not banned, yeah. Oh, sorry, we have a clarifying question from our source at the game. Like shitting blood or bleeding from your arm. Oh.

So, shit. I thought that's what you meant. I guess I've heard. What is the prominence of this blood, sir? Shitty blood has got to top the list. I didn't think about that Wait wait wait now what's Now what do you think is more alarming to the field crew

Blood you shit or blood you vomit I think blood you shit I don't know blood you vomit is going to go further Sure yeah It would be more distributed into the grass And Also in terms of biohazards It's not a one for one there

Sure All right so thank you for your for your for that peek into your future as Patches O'Hulahan there? All right, so I'm going to say it's piss. I think we've said vomit, I think vomit's next on the list, frankly. Like, if they're just leaving some vomit,

there's probably a lot that they can. Plus, there's only so much vomit, I feel like, that a human body can produce before it just passes out. Well, I guess it depends on how many substances you're going to name, but among the three that I know of so far, yeah, it would go in the middle. Uh, I think I'm going to put, I think I'm going to go bottom to top, piss, vomit, shit blood.

Okay. I think blood just freaks people out because it's the most like, I've, I've, I've seen outbreak. I've seen outbreak. Yes, exactly. Ew, blood. I think it's, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's, as we can tell.

People are so uptight about blood. Yeah, people do get so uptight about blood. So when Lou holds jizz is on the field, Where does that, where does that slot in? Well, that's a dry material, so it's going to be an easy clean. I just want to note it for the record, when this enters the transcript, that was not me. Hey, did LeBron just do the chalk thing? No, Lou Holtz came.

Really underrated line from Doddoll while we're talking about movies. It's when they talk about how they could sell blood and semen to raise money to save the gym. And one of the, one of the background guys goes not mixed together. and then it just goes to the next scene with no comment. I think, honestly, I think this discussion is the greatest celebration of Ohio State football and culture that we could offer. I think they should keep dumping coolers on Ryan Day because they just replayed the Gatorade thing. And I thought they had found a second Gatorade vessel because there's 800 people on this Ohio State team. They have to have multiple coolers.

I think they should find all the liquid they can at field level. continue pouring it on him. And now after winning a title, Ryan Day gets to go home and do what all title-winning coaches at Ohio State get to do. That's right, pick one random citizen from Ohio and have them burned alive inside of Bob Evans. I thought you were going to say grind on them at Urban Myers Barn Grill. Yeah, they call this the Woody Man.

Speaking of fluids. Oh, this. And there it is. There's the whole bracket. There it is. All the teams. That's, that's all the things that happened. It looks.

Oh, okay. It's like cleaning up a gunshot wound. Okay, here we go. Just bleeding from your body, they use silver nitrate and tampons. If you ship blood, then you change pants and probably get a pad in there, like a maxi pad. Sure. No body fluids in football would make a stoppage. You get stopped, but the game goes on.

That is poetry. Wow. Wow. That's really great. Wow. Thank you, not Reese Davis. Next meat sack up. Brian Kelly's just at home texting Marcus Freeman like I always knew you'd be a failure.

Piece of shit. Oh, man. No, don't make this worse. We're having a good night. Your handsome face is crying now, isn't it, fucker? This is slander of Ryan Kelly, to be clear. Yeah. Yes, Brian Kelly.

Marcus Freeman's wonderful. He did a great job. I know, but clearly he doesn't have the resources he needs to win at Ohio State. Yeah. Because you know we're talking about Ryan Kelly taking an NFL job. What's actually going to happen next is Marcus Freeman. takes an NFL job because we can't have nice things. Brian Kelly's down here like, yeah, listen, I'm down here doing a shit job and like I'm on

literally a golden throne. I have these rednecks throwing so much cash at me. For somebody who speed running everything Ed Ogeron was allegedly doing in real, but he's actually doing it in real life, Brian Kelly just not seem like he's having a lot of fun. Yeah, but we're having a lot of fun. When has Brian Kelly ever seemed like he's having a lot of fun? Central Michigan folks sound off. Was he all shits and giggles at the time?

just a living life laughing it up we'll hear from you soon i don't get to see brian kelly go to the zoo and tap on the snake exhibit windows and watch them just strike god that's not where i thought that sentence was going yeah goes goes to the zoo and throws rocks at the animals that's what i think brian kelly does in a spare time they're lazy yeah just sit here all fucking day um this is where in the interest of good journalism i should briefly review our Uh, our preseasoned playoff picks. Yes. Yes.

Okay. Mind you, these faced, uh, certain handicaps with certain stipulations. Nope. Nope. Uh, these were our picks. Let's see. How many, let's see how many. All right. So Spencer, I think you're the team you had that did the best.

You had no playoff teams. Awesome. You had Iowa State. And I think Iowa State had a pretty damn good season. And, and they had the best season is cool history. They were in there for a while. Yeah. And they, and they came within.

a not particularly close game against Arizona State and the Big 12 championship of making the playoff field. So I'll give you credit for that. Jason, you had Boise State. They made the playoff. You had SMU. They made the playoff. What happened to those teams in the playoffs? Don't ask those questions. That's rude. They don't ask how they ask how many. We got a we got a buy in there. Did you also have Oklahoma State? That's not important. Shut the fuck out. Go away. oh no uh you had colorado who hung around for a while holly you know what you had um you you had cow you had cal and and cow wasn't anywhere america's team cal wasn't anywhere close to making the college football playoffs yes they were but god damn if they weren't important you know who else you

had holly you had nebraska and nebraska made a bowl game and considering how things have been going from Nebraska over the last decade that's as good as a playoff also america's team derogatory that's right uh michael serber who's not on the show right now but he's listening indiana he had him buddy he had him on the list i think yeah server wins this one running away this national championship forged in the fires of the indiana hosures strength it the only team strong enough to defeat america's most important college football team sorry spit is the worst because that means you spit at someone and got a penalty vomit probably number two because you got concussed the rest is enough What would happen if you appeared to had vomited on someone intentionally?

Intentionally. Like you punched your own stomach. What have you learned to do the horned frog thing where you shot blood out of your eyes? Man, there's a bell ringing in my head that somebody's done this. Are there guys who can make themselves throw up? Lay somebody out, receiver caught the ball over the middle, flatten him, and then you shit on him. Yeah. Sober also had, I would say.

Are we missing any bodily humors, bile, Iker? did you do both Biles? No, no, what's that? What's the ancient? Flam! Oh, I guess we did. Oh, right, I forgot it. Yellow Bile and Black Bile, right? For Fire and Earth? Yeah, okay.

But maybe Black Bile is shitting blood. In the form of Florida, South Carolina, and Oklahoma, Serber had a lot of good playoff spoilers. Not teams that made the playoff. South Carolina should have been there completely unjust. See, I can prove this isn't Reese Davis because

he's talking on television right now, not texting the full cast with the hand that's in his pocket that's right i i was conflating a couple of different incidents in 2010 a philadelphia eagles fan intentionally vomited on a spectator and his 11-year-old daughter at a philly's game not even an eagles game man you're at the low gear i wouldn't no i wouldn't say have you met philly's fans i have i don't think your assessment is accurate. It was 81 of those home games, baby. I was going to say the difference is

Philly Eagles fans have to pack it into eight home games. Philly's fans get to, but they get to like explore the space. That's where you have the freedom to be like, oh, no, I think I'll bobbing on a kid today. I think by exploring the space, you mean drinking 32 beers on a Wednesday.

I can see the stitching in the hat, and Will Howard's face looks like an ivory soap ad. Yeah. This is freaky. You think he's an, is he a robot? Is he AI? The, that's AI. right the movie you mean right no no no the like the thing that is haley joel osmond his love is real

his arm is not when wyoming played kent state in 2021 a kent state offensive lineman was penalized for puking he was hooked up he was false he was false start he got a false penalty because his vomiting induced Wyoming because his guts were propelling themselves out of his face and the refs said I saw that NeutraZone and fresh Do you want the most

like 2021 interaction ever It was this that Bill Kuduk The Offensive Lyman Who puked and got a false start penalty He tweeted out Puk and Rally Appreciate the shout out Maction And then followed it up by asking for a job

With Barstool Yeah He has passed the trials! You may enter the Thieves Guild! Right, that's my favorite voice you do. While we're handing out awards. My only playoff pick of interest, the Miami Hurricanes, who didn't make the playoffs or the ACC championship game,

maybe if the ACC moves to this convoluted number two and number three play each other for question mark spot, Miami will finally make that fucking game instead. Brian, you picked a Pop-Tart Bowl attendee. I did pick. Yes, that's true.

That's true. Thank you to the commenters calling the puking and getting a penalty as outcroachment. This is a good one. Encroachment. This guy's guts.

Yeah. I am... That's it. There's only one question. You're actually left to ask, really. Yeah. Do you agree? Therapy.

I really don't, but it doesn't matter whether I agree or not. Okay. I think it's wrong. What's the on three headline from this game going to be? Extend. Yeah. It's still employed. Employed.

It'd be Ryan, picture of Ryan Day with employed. Bulletproof. Oh. Dynasty. It is Cloaca. You're right. Colic. Cloak.

be a picture of Will Howard with Exfoliate. Bile. I think Bile is a good one. What if it's exonerated but with like three question marks? Yeah, sure. And an asterisk. I can, I have no complaints because I got to cover another season of college football and that was awesome. What did you enjoy most this season?

I was about to get to that. I'm so glad you asked. I'm stealing this from our friend Lucy Rodin. Oh, no, but it comes from, it comes from the most important football game. Our source is one of those guys who can make themselves throw up and says they get terrified and do hate it. I treasure our friendship and I don't tell you that enough. Thank you for the inside sourcing. Yes.

Mine was this. It came from the October's finest, the USC Maryland game. Sure. Yeah. Where Eric Collins. Doug's frantically searching for the file right now. shall we hit it do it Doug

do it Eric Collins take us home oh no disaster what a bad idea that's the best moment of the season

that in Camp Scataboo throwing a bomb of a touchdown that's the best fucking thing I saw all season oh god I will say

I did like our other friend Roger Sherman's choice of the refs at the end of that Arizona State game having to complete a review. Oh, my God, they pulled the trophy out of the thing. They're going to vape from that thing.

I've been saying it's a vape pin since minute one, and now it has returned to its mothership, Columbus, Ohio. We did it. Ohio against the world. Brian, what was your favorite moment? I have to go with Vanderbilt beating Alabama. That did happen. I do.

I live close enough to Vanderbilt Stadium that, like, I wasn't at the game, but it was still just like holy yeah i don't know if i'll ever witness that again it was awesome dago pavia is the most important man in nashville it's not a high list it's him and then godfrey it's kind of slim holly what what what what what what was your favorite thing i oh it's late it's late it's late i really loved watching my football team this year don't tell anybody they were fun as hell i was i was gonna say if i had to pick a moment, it would probably be the time our Aussie punter had a punt down at the one-yard line and hit the Heisman pose. Did I mention we were up like 60-0 at this point and it was

against U-TEP? Yeah. Good C Vakuteps, y'all. Jason, what do you pick? I got to go with when Liberty University was undefeated and feeling themselves so much that they were talking shit to App State after App State canceled a game because of a fucking hurricane. Liberty had fans and players out here accusing App State of ducking Liberty.

So they rolled into a public school that had never won an FBS game in its history and hadn't won a game all season. And Liberty, their playoff chances in that nationally televised game that was the only game with the night that all of America was watching. They ate a big old plate of bile shit

and all the other substances that we have named tonight because your Kennesaw State Owls got it done. You're welcome America. More like decking liberty. That brings me to the alarming news that I have for Ryan that in the too soon AP top 25-ish style poll that ESPN put out, they have listed at number 15, the Florida Gators.

Oh, that's fine. That's right, no. You closed strong. Yeah, 15 means nothing. I mean, I think, you know, next year we're looking like, wow, top 10 Gators preseason poll, I think. Let's do it. I'm just going to say it now.

We're back. Yeah. Florida is so back. It's done. Playoff. I mean, playoff for sure. I'm sorry, Missouri's at 7. What is this?

You know what that is? Comedy. That's an opportunity. Motivated SEC. That's what it is. The SEC's looking really strong. Wait, no, this is last year. Sorry.

Woo. Oh, God, I feel terrible. We didn't even bring up Florida State's 10 losses. Okay, so let's do the math. Let's do the math. In honor of Florida State, let's do some math, right? How long, how many years did we towed around in our little rucksack of jokes that we don't tell? Four and eight Notre Dame.

Probably three or four. It was a meme until Notre Dame was like decent. I can hear Jessica Spatanna like screaming so we're like no you did it forever no we're using it as a measuring stick we're using it as a measuring stick it was a thing for at least a year or two because then after that they had five straight ten win seasons and that kind of killed it yeah so that was twice as many wins as Florida State had so it stands to reason the joke kept going for two years that FSU must hear about this for four correct that's math can I ask that we play a little game before we step out here. I have dropped you all Florida States schedule for 2024. The completed schedule, again, two wins, 10 losses.

Of the 10 losses, can we come up with a top five what were our five favorite Florida State losses, which again is only half of the losses that they had in this two and 10 season? How many do you want? Top five? Yeah, give you top five. We don't necessarily have to rank them. I'm going to leap in here with Florida privilege and select my favorite first, which is versus the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets when they were doing Irish jigs

on the sideline after beating them. That's a great answer. No doubt that's on the list. I will take the Duke Blue Devils 2316 loss. Yep, yep. I'm going to jump here, and I'm going to take Memphis, Memphis beating Florida State 20 to 12 in the Norville Bowl, in Doak Campbell Stadium after they started O&2 and had a bye week of like, okay, they're going to get it together, right?

And then went around and only scored 12 points on a good Memphis team, but still, not ideal. So I would like that to be our number three if possible. I would like the SMU game to be on the record because at that time, SMU was looking rough. They were two and one, I believe, and one of the wins was like barely a win over Nevada. Like, this was before SMU turned it around and they beat the fuck out of FSU 4216. And then is the fifth answer? I have a couple of candidates here. I think it could be Miami.

Miami was obviously much better than Florida State this year, but it's one of, Miami played a ton of games where they played down to competition and things got dicey towards the end of games. This is a rivalry game that frequently doesn't necessarily go in the way of like, well, this team is much better than that one, so it should go that way. And it was just an absolute ass kicking,

like it wasn't close in any way, shape, or form. I could also go with UNC, though. Yeah, I would like to vote for UNC just because UNC is a team that can make anyone look good. Like, that is their job. That is their wrestling character. They will always let their opponent get their shit in. FSU got no shit in. 5935, 4014, 49, 14, 49, 14, 48, 31.

Oh, 2913, Florida State. And then, of course, there's the home opener against Boston College. Why? What happened there? Where they got beat 2813. I remember that. That's the game where I had to start a point. apologizing to Bill O'Brien, just something that I've never had to do before.

And it looked so bad that apparently Boston College quarterback Thomas Cassiano's was like, oh, this is easy money. I need to go fix these fuckers and transfer to Florida States. That one is my number one because that confirmed that the Georgia Tech game was not any sort of just of fluky. It was like, oh, oh, damn. Ifish was really bad. Also, this is the thing. Ifish was still ranked number 10.

Yeah, yeah. This is where in this, and they had the, that's what they had the two lost. the first ever team that was briefly still ranked number 10 and had multiple losses. Okay, I think you're right. That's our number one. Boston College, number one in our hearts. Number one in the ACC, that's not accurate, but don't worry. I'm told in the comments that Kirk is crying.

I must have missed this shot. Kirk is crying. Kirk, the one on television, not the one on the podcast. Oh, I love my Buckeyes. I didn't see this. He's probably thinking about hitting a deer with his car on the way home, like looking forward to it, not that he already did it. I think that's just normal for an Ohio person. I think Kirk Herb Street

should start trotting out a cat. I think whenever the bucks win the title, it's it's dear season year round. Like, imagine if Kirk Herb Street was going to games and be like, my cat deserves a credential. Let him on the field. The Herb Street menagerie expands every year. This is my horse,

whizzie winkles. It stands behind Fowler. He gets to come on the game day set. He gets to spray whoever he wants. Chris, this is my beloved mascot. Everywhere you go, the fans just can't get enough of this kangaroo. I mean, because eventually animal shields aren't enough, and he will have to upgrade to human shields to put between his personality

and every other person he might encounter. This is why, like, Herb Street needs a therapy orangutang. He needs the orangutang that smokes. This just sounds like Pat McAfee. No, no. No, that's his therapy, koala. Hey, people love... We've got a whole episode about him.

People love Pat McAfee. Oh, we got an update. People love Arrogatex and smoke. That's what I'm saying. Smoking therapy or ragtase. What animal... I was going to say, what animal can you most easily teach to smoke,

but I'm guessing it's one that doesn't have hooves. In America, we no longer have enough. Maybe it's an elephant, because, I mean, they'll put anything in their nose if they seem like. Oh, one more update from our... our buddy on the field. You barf in someone's earphones and they never forget it.

Wow. Well, there's the episode title. Yeah. That's why OASIS broke up. This is going to be a great SEO. I'm only kind of half-line. An O-H-A-Sis. All right, folks.

That's a football season. Sure is. Hey, guess what? We have a surprise for y'all. This episode, is going to drop, I mean, you're here. It's technically still Monday, January 20th. This episode will be out for downloading and savoring tomorrow, January 21st.

On Wednesday, January 22nd, we're going to have another episode for you because it is Wednesday, and it will be a surprise release of a never-before-released live show because we will be asleep. All day. All off-season. All day. Time to hibernate. yes after being bit by my therapy bat and we will we will return to our regular uh tuesday record

wednesday release schedule after that but uh y'all get back to back shows this week because we love you woke woke batman goes to therapy that might be the episode title too i don't know uh spencer who was this episode of full cast after dark presented by oh and they're so proud to hear it this episode is brought to you by parize picks Game done, Ben Runt. Doug, play us out. Oh, no! Disaster!

What a bad idea!