Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK: CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP WEEKEND: HAWK TWO-AND-TEN

Episode Date: December 8, 2024

A very special guest is wwwwwellcomedMack Brown has a surprising new gigWon't somebody feel sorry for Georgia?Small boy land speed measurementHappy Hot Frosty Day to all who observeBoise/Jeanty appreciation circleWeapons you can buy or make at the Cracker BarrelDr Pepper challenge breakdownThe other games of conference championship weekend, recapped in as much detail as they deserveFullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamTickets for the Tuscaloosa Get Up 3 are on sale now: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36768/production/1216165Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

I'm disappointed in Davo. He only mentioned God six times in that interview. Spencer, he's distraught. His friend just died. Bash here all of side. What up for my buddy Bash? Well, if you didn't want to impact the ground at several hundred miles an hour, maybe you shouldn't have had a name that started with the word bash.

They did call them the Bash brothers, I heard. They were roommates, you know. I got nothing. Hey, we're going to let people pile in here before we officially get things started on here, the championship edition of the full cast after dark. But if you are hearing the sound of my voice, thank you for joining us this late.

We'd have been on sooner, but Penn State had to drag some shit out. God, dragging their butts all over the carpet. typical nitney lion behavior pick more like the pick me lions wanted so much attention oh we're gonna stay in the game we're gonna let this thing drag out given given to the give in to the power of the duck just get it over with that's hey we don't need to be sorry about anybody because we're not punishing teams for appearing in conference championships right well all defense on happens to a certain personnel on your team but we're going to get to that you know what i was

to the playoff you know what i love about right now is that the 600 or so souls and climbing who are in here with us live on stream yard on twitch and on lincoln can see something that those of you listening tomorrow cannot those of you listening today because it is as of this moment midnight on Sunday, December 8th, those of you who are in the chat right now can see there are six sets of footprints in this chat, not five, and Floyd is levitating. This is the opposite of the Jesus Beach story. Yeah, because we're being, we're being dragged. And we have a very special guest with us tonight, proving one.

Once and for all that our producers are two different people. Yeah. Additionally, we're going to ask. How should we let him celebrate tonight? Because it's a special night for our buddy. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to hand off the way we start this program. I'm going to hand off the welcome to somebody who's going to do it a lot louder, a lot better.

Has he ever done it before? I can't remember. I ever has, but I think this would be the first time that Spencer is here and is doing it. And willingly relinquishing the sticks. Yeah, I'm going to put it this way. I'm going to put it 56 yards out from the uprights, and he's going to drill it. Michael Ray. Forecast after dark for men

Brought to you by Rise Picks Hmm Welcome To the shutdown Forecast After dark Stepped into it Tiger noises

Stepped into it Solid contact Meow Meow Hold that tiger Oh Oh we cannot It's too fast. It's too slippery.

Also, they're not calling holding. Darius, listen. Is there anything better? Is there any, like, the smell of a baby's head, the first robin of spring, the crunching leaves of fall, and a pissed off Sean McDonough in the booth? Is there anything finer? Was McDonough outraged by the finish? Because I was watching on mute. He has had it.

That's good. That makes it twice in 10 days that I've heard Sean McDonough officially have it, because remember the last time we heard him, he was saying things like, well, that's the end of Peyton Thorne's career. There are some Auburn fans that would find that appropriate. You know what?

He really could take the Vern mantle if he had a nice chortle after that, you know? Spencer, why are you taking a joyful thing like conference championship game, conference championship weekend and bringing Auburn into it. Well, it wasn't a good day for Auburn in any sense of the word. Burt, University,

all the Auburns. It's not a good day. Assad. Auburn. You know, Auburn Basad. Auburn Assad. There's Bashar. There's Dave.

There's a little Ricky. Bashar, Dancer, Prancer. Yeah. Financer. Yeah. And Bert. Bird Auburn Asaught.

More like burnt Auburn. Got him. Nailed him. Damn. I don't really know. I didn't fly over Lebanon. Don't look at me. Hey, listen.

You can make your little jokes. You know. Listen, nobody is more prepared to make jokes at this time than the flight aware marinated set that we have in here right now. But all of your friends, who are horrible dictators will hear these jokes.

Thank you, Ronnie. That's what you get for trying to flee Damascus on a war eagle. I just want to know what UNC does with that job now. What, Assad's job? Yeah. Hey, everybody. I got a new job. It's in Damascus.

Got to go catch a flight. Too soon, Mac. I would, I guess, starting with Clemson, Hey, Michael, could you just help me balance this with being so fucking tired of Davoswini generally and specifically, but also celebrating the fact that that kicker absolutely nailed a gargantuan field goal? That was a God-tier kick. Yeah. Let me, I can pretty much son this up. Woo!

Woo! Woo! I've never heard Serber blow out of the bike. Woo! Woo! Woo! And, uh, woo! Your argument's convincing.

It's very convincing. Thank you, Jamie. You know who else's life got changed fleeing Damascus? That's right. Mac Brown. Hi, everybody. I don't think that's what she meant, but okay. I did have a job in the Middle East.

It's gone, it's gone south, and I need to return to the United States immediately. Oh, we're going to get some emails. Yeah, congratulations to Clemson on the win. Hey, it doesn't matter how it happened, man. SMU was nails. SMU was, SMU made that very interesting at the end of that game. With some of the wildest arm angles I've ever seen a quarterback employ on the way, we talk about changing the platform.

Brother, Jennings. Like a rock and sock-em robot possessed by an angry God. Yeah, you know, like, he was, Kevin Jennings was doing stuff that, like, Boston Dynamics robots do when they, when they're hopping around in demo videos, like, unreal way to get SMU back into that football game. Is anybody else on this show? I don't know. I think it's just us. Hi. All right.

Woo! There we go. Hey, can we have, can we take a moment to grieve? Would love to. because listen we've got we've got friends with this program and this is something that we all went through just a year ago and it hurts it hurts a lot more when it's uh you know it's it's not our team but we we've got friends and loved ones who are in here tonight who are who are watching at home and i i just hate to see a quality georgia team miss the playoff because they lost their quarterback that's mean what's mean i mean i mean it's true they did lose um uh gunner uh gunner stockton wasn't out there for that last plate that's true late in the game but my gosh the accent on that young man from the tippy top corner of corner of georgia tiger town of five hundred you y'all think you know weird georgia you haven't been to the weirdest corner of

georgia and it's where that young man is from hell of an accent but georgia is now at full strength because they have a quarterback who literally cannot throw i don't mean can't throw well i mean can't throw. This is perfect, Georgia. Georgia is now at full strength and everyone else is doing. Yeah, they'll be great in the Gator Bowl. Do you believe in nominative determinism? If so, I think you should know that Gunner Stockton's middle name is Duval. Shut the fuck up. Are you kidding? Ryan, if you're making this up, I am driving to your house. I am not. It's D-U-N-A-L-L, but listen. That's fine. That's fine. Jacksonville could always take another L. That's not an issue. Oh, Stockton, Duval Gunner.

We like you a lot. Yep. What are you doing there? Stockton, Gunner, Gunner, Stockton, he passes the UGA name test easily. So did Carson Beck. Look how far that got him. I know Kirby was so happy this game. They're like, yeah, your quarterback can't throw.

And he's like, good. Good, we don't want to throw. Did you see what Kirby said after the game in front of the SEC commission? No, I was busy watching teams. looked like they wanted to be in the playoff. He was being asked after getting, after they're doing the trophy ceremony or whatever,

he's being asked like, you know, what does it mean to blah, blah, blah, blah, to get the buy. What does that mean? Greg Sanky is there because it's his conference's championship game. And he looks over at him and he's like, what does it mean? Well, Greg and his

people decided this team had to play on the road all year. So it means some will-served rest. Do you know how many road games Georgia played this year? 15. Is it 15? Slightly fewer. Four? Four.

Uh-huh. And the conference title game is in their state. We had to go everywhere. They made us drive. We had to go to Kentucky. Spencer, you know what happens when those boys drive. Thank you. now my head just, just cars playing. I think there are there.

Isaiah Crowell coming back to drive the bus. Now wait, now you're a hold on, Jason. Are you counting, are you counting the cocktail party as a road game? Because you know, it's a lot farther for Georgia than it is for Florida. They're only dangerous drivers in the city of Athens. Outside, they're excellent drivers, apparently, because they all get to these. Yeah, by the way, you just, these, these deeply unfair road games, all four and a half of them. Yeah.

By the way, to psychotic Ohio State fans who were like, they've got to probably hold things out of control i didn't see one drive when you needed it ohio state so i don't want to hear shit out of you Oregon had to fly to indianapolis in December for the big time and they kicked ass they got off that plane kicking ass listen up until like 15 minutes ago there were two teams all day that looked like they wanted to be in this playoff, and both of them are Pac-12 teams. Shut up. I know where the Pac-12 is. We're not acknowledging

this yet. Oregon had to play in West Lafayette, Indiana earlier this season. They had to go to Madison. But Greg Sanky just wants Georgia to keep out there on the road, never seeing its family. Never getting to cut its

own grass. What a monster. This is what every man over 40 in Georgia does. Just starts looking for enemies. Where the borders the problem and these lights are too bright and Greg Sanky wanted me to play on the road. My wife, she wants me to wear pants. Yeah, their

border wars, the curbs in their neighborhood are too high so they can't drive up over the yard and into the garage on their way home. My daughter insisted on going to Pemperdine so now I've got to go all the way out there. For her volleyball matches. Made Bama do this year, they had to play four road games too.

This whole conference getting screwed over. South Carolina, let's take a look. One, two, three, three, Four. Damn! That's a month. They don't let anybody play at home all 12 of their games. That's a dig-dag month. Why don't you just send me to war, Greg Sanky?

If you want to know what an enormous toddler Kirby Smart truly is, remember this is the same man who shut down a question and got all shirty with a reporter who was like, hey Kirby, how do you decide what visors you wear? And he's like, I don't worry about that. I don't worry about that at all. I don't think about that one bit. How long do you think it's been since that man dressed himself? He explicitly told everybody he doesn't.

People hand him things to wear and he puts them on his body. This is not a joke. And he was fucking complaining about it. I tell many jokes. This isn't one of them. No, not a thing. You can hand that man whatever to wear and he will put it on. You could hand him a Starfleet uniform.

You can hand him one of the sexy Starfleet uniform. But that's the versatility that's like, that's right, you're wearing a Gunner Stockton today. Put it on. Go win with it, baby. You know, I got to say, what I wanted more than anything else, and I can say that now heading into this, I wanted, and I have witness, I know Jamie's in this chat somewhere. She heard me say this earlier tonight. What I wanted more than anything, despite my feelings for this boring-ass Georgia team, is for them to come in and beat Texas in exactly the same fashion that they did in Austin, like same score and everything. But this was pretty good.

It was. Not the game. Not the game. The game was not good. The manner in which they beat Texas, that was funny. The manner of which they beat Texas is hilarious because everything that has gone wrong with this team to this point this year came to a head in a single game and it didn't matter. Hey, who's your leading wide receiver? A guy described as not a natural catcher of the football.

Hey, I got to listen, I got to tell you too, I thought Texas had it in the bag when those stupid fucking bus cams they were showing in the pregames on all the ESPN. channels caught Sark spitting into his dip cup in slow-mo. I thought he was doing one of those like slow, nasty syrupy spits. Not like, man, that's how you know, that man, that man ain't as you see. Like, he was like, it wasn't a, right? It wasn't a baseball spit, right? It was like, that's like a home on the couch spit. And I was like, oh, fuck, Texas has the juice.

Nah. They got Mississippi State playing four conference road games because they hate all the bulldogs. They said we look fast. So they put us on the treadmill. It's a SEC. It's supremacist Eastern cats. He says my A1C's high, but I like to eat a full pint of ice cream every night because I work hard. That's all this conference is doing is just propping up Kentucky, Missouri, all these other cat teams.

South Carolina, that's basically a cat. Those birds fight like cats. Georgia, this Georgia team, at least on offense, is hilarious. is who's our offensive coordinator the AI from from from the college football no worse the AI from the coat commercial yeah the one who's like hmm that play worked let's throw it into the gutter and never see it again next every single no no wait it doesn't matter it's the Taco Bell drive-through AI I this team is wildly entertaining they're very entertaining this team is a blast yeah who's our

running what where's our running attack don't have one don't absolutely can't I cannot get to 100 rushing yards. It's just not possible. Pull, pull, quick straw poll. For the record, chat, Georgia got to 141 rushing yards. Do you do. Would it be worth it to have to put up with another championship Georgia team if they win with this team and their fans are miserable the whole time?

It confirms their transformation into the Bama they wanted to be. Right? Right. Yeah, if they do, this is 2009 Bama. Yes, this is like, oh, I hate every bit of this, but God, it's beautiful at the same time. Yeah, I mean, like for me, it's, you know, whoever wins is whatever. It doesn't affect me at all. This Georgia team, this would be so fucking funny.

What's our big, what's our big finishing move at OT? I'm going to get this jug-headed quarterback from Rabin-Fucking County. Uh-huh. I'm going to run him headlong into the defense. That is a Lego man. Like watching him play is like watching a Lego movie sport. Then we're going to send out a one-armed quarterback, which arm? The wrong one.

Like visibly dangling. Then he's going to hand it off. And then we're going to beat Texas. You know how we beat him with exotic blitzes? Things we put, no, whole fourth quarter, guess what we played? Man, we played man. We played cover one man the whole fourth quarter and we just beat their ass. I don't know if you noticed this, but Sark was going to.

coming up with all of these cool route combinations like oh god we've got this good slot fade with an under we're just going to beat him in man no none of it fucking worked none of it every single one of george's players was just like i'm going to beat my receiver up and see if he likes it they did not my favorite thing was on uh it was on a third and long um i think it was in the yeah it was like the end of the overtime one of texas slash plays third and long and they ran they called like a screen. Mm-hmm. It was like the Sark bot just shorted out, and the Kirby bot took over and said,

we're just going to butt our heads into something. Oh, shit. Jason, he's at, he Agatha harknessed him. Yeah. I just, like, I picture at the very end, the one-armed quarterback handing it off, Kirby, like, reaching up into the heavens. And this is for my buddy Brent Key. That's what he wanted.

That was what he did. He's like, since Brett died when we played him, Rest of soul, I believe Kirby's going to see Brent next year and be like, Brent, you're back. You're back. It's a miracle. I thought we killed you. I thought the SEC killed you because I said I liked you.

We hug. I like stuff I like. I thought I weren't going to, I thought I won't going to be allowed to hug you again because they killed everything I love. I thought you were a force ghost that dipped. Dude, that best possible Georgia Tech coach right there. Forced ghosts. So speaking of Dune, on college game day this morning, the chosen one, I don't think we've talked about college game day all year, but Timothy Chalomey, who was

underestimated by some, let's say, non-ball-knowers who don't know what the young man brings to the table as far as his bona fides. We're talking about a former YouTube Xbox controller customizer we're talking about as roger sherman has pointed out a fan of the new york knicks even when they're terrible um and someone who has publicly complained about a second tier french soccer team not uploading its highlights quickly enough santa tian so yeah the guys at the desk were themselves visibly shocked so so for him to like rattle off the names of mac players um and to shout out the work Billy Napier did and installing a winning culture

for the Louisiana agent Cajans. You know, did somebody write him some notes? I don't know. I don't care. It doesn't matter. All it matters is he sold it. He is, as many on social media pointed out, ball atreides. Whoever wrote the notes could

give them to other members of Game Day if they so wanted quite honest. With the access to this research, think Pat McAfee might be rattling off some knowledge at some point, but it hasn't taking place yet. People do love Pat McAfee. That's all I have to say about that. People love the McRibb. I just think they should let Timothy hang out in the

Heisman house, you know? Call him, call him Nissan Al Gabe. Oh, I don't think Tim Tebow would approve him. Call me by your name. No. I don't think he'd pick up on it is the thing. It'd just go over his head. Yeah, I like the Peach Bowl. What? That's how you, Tim, Tim's like dad age now you forget he's just gonna look at it and be like that's how you get ants

He's from Florida Listen Tim's from Florida man he knows about Dick ants Hey bud that fruit's expensive Okay we don't waste food around here Let me tell you what I did see Pat McAfee have to resort to getting The spotlight back After Timothy Shalmay sitting next to him doing nothing

Just naturally grew the eye of everyone with his innate charisma with his like, I love the New York Knicks and a terrible second division French team San Antonio. Just the, he stole the spotlight. Hey, he had to resort to standing on the desk. Who, who picked the Mac championship winner? That's right. None other than the chosen one.

Oh, but surely, surely the Mac championship was close. Ohio 38, Miami three. And an upset, no less. How, Timmy, no. How Timmy no? MacDib. Ohio's, by the way, Ohio's head coach then immediately left Ohio to take the head coaching job at Charlotte. Charlotte is now the chosen.

On a sandworm, baby. That's right. Cookout must flow. I'm riding the sandworm all the way to Bochangles. the boberry of life dude he took that job three seconds after that game was over the sure wine of life

it's late I'll hate have you been to Huntington go ears I think now I propose this earlier I do think we should see the playoff based on margin of victory in championship games I know we had a lot of everything until

that's right I know we had a lot of great real quick what would that produce right now Okay, so let's run down the list. Let's start back on Friday. Can I interest you in Jacksonville State winning the Conference USA Championship by 40 points over Western Kentucky? Friends? So one seed, Jack State? Yes, there's your one seed.

So Rich Rats got to stick around for a couple more weeks. Ohio, you're sliding into the two slot with that 35 point win over Miami. the games today, almost none of them are going to matter, except Arizona State 45, Iowa State 19. That's going to matter that 26 point win, but is it good enough to jump into the third slot? No, it is not, because Arizona State, you'll be the four seed. The three seed will be Marshall, winning by the score of 31 to 3 over Louisiana in the Sunbelt Championship. on the road in Lafayette I think that's a great one two three four personally love it no complaints yeah I'll listen I got to do a show tomorrow this is exactly what I'm going with and if these teams don't like it they should have won by more they should have won by more they should have won by more like Oregon it for a while it looks like you were going to win by more but you didn't win by more more you won by less Disgusting

Spencer, do you have any thoughts on... We're just going to let that hang there in midair. I guess we can do the... Prize Picks! This program is brought to you by prize picks. That's right, the best place to get Rue Money Sports Action with over 10 million members and billions of dollars that awarded winnings prize picks

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15 minutes. Man, that's the length of time. Is the scream ghost, is the ghost face killer sneaking up on one of y'all? Yeah, it's me. Yeah. That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

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Huh. Where's you next? God, what a great question. Can I just, I just want to say this, Camp Scataboo fucking rules. There's my detailed analysis on Camp Cadaboo. Yeah. First play from scrimmage. My God, who could have predicted?

I just, airs. Arizona State, we've been saying it for a number of weeks now, picked reasonably to finish last in the Big 12. They won it. They didn't just win it. They're going to be a first round buy in the playoff, this team. And there's a chance, a chance we'll have to see the three, four, so who knows, there's a chance they'll basically be hosting it in the Fiesta Bowl.

This is the most wins they've had in a single season, even without the playoff. uh since the 1996 year when they went to the rose bull and lost like and this is not and you know that rose bowl year kind of came in that stretch where you were like okay yeah like i can see sort of what what uh Arizona state can do it it was an outlier but it wasn't you know there there was something to it I think that you saw especially early in the air this should just came out of nowhere they went three and nine the last two years herm edwards is still on like permaprobation somewhere it's pretty good i really wanted them in the sugar or in the peach so we could run my waffle house promo

for cam which is the scataboo uh smotherboo cover boo i haven't quite figured out what to do with hash browns to make them do that maybe you throw them at somebody real fast like if if i had told you before the season, Kenny Dillingham is going to win more games than Florida State loses. That would make sense to you, but not even more. But then, you know what, looking, have you ever, I don't think I really got a good look at what Kenny Dillingham looks like before tonight. And he looks like, like, like, 12 of my cousins mashed together in a jar. We should have seen this coming. Yeah. So I know how tall Katie George is, because I have stood.

next to Katie George and Katie George and Katie George interviewed Billingham Dillingham is three apples tall and I have no more fear and respect for a coach

than one who is a football coach who bosses around 300 pound men who is three apples tall while looking straight up yeah while looking straight up with no fear in his eyes whatsoever Kenny Dillingham is that dude

he is a motherfucker because God damn Arizona State You're going to answer his riddles three or you're going to get fucked up. Yeah. He's going to pop out like... That is a varsity bridge troll.

Yeah, he's going to pop out with a scalpel like it's Pet Cemetery. Bha! Got your Achilles. Got your dead pets, too. Two months ago, this team was five and two. And that was pretty good. Yeah. Absolutely no one thought, you know,

Arizona State's still alive for the playoff. It was something, it was like 18 days ago. They were unranked. Um, and this is, this is, honestly, just the, the turnaround from where they were to where they are right now, it's one of the biggest turnarounds of college football history. Oklahoma State also had one of the biggest turnarounds, but, you know, they, they, uh, traded places a little bit. And not for nothing, doing this with a freshman quarterback, too, a freshman quarterback, by the

way, who today on 12 completions through three TDs, love it. It's perfect. That's my perfect video game line. Like I was watching it. And I was like, oh, you ran the ball 40 times. and you passed it like less than 20. That's what I do at every video game I have ever played for the last three years. Kenny Dillingham, the leading suspect, I think,

if we are casting a wide net for dudes who are calling plays like they grew up playing, the NCAA football franchise, he is way up there because they do a lot of that shit. That fourth and one play action bomb, which I think changed the tenor of the entire game early on, that is video game shit do not tell me that you did not test that out on the sim fourth and one i'm looking to pick up about 63 yards ideally and you have cam scataboo in the back and if you are a sensible football coach who was not raised on video games you go oh we're just going to put cam up

there's our best guy we got that Kenny dillingham i am pressing x to hit the x receiver listen it's a conversion isn't it you said convert on fourth down we did first time That's right. Because at that point, at that point, Iowa State had been moving the ball nicely. They'd been unstoppable in their first two or three drives. They still, by the way, had more first downs on the game than Arizona State did. But Arizona State did that only large bills withdrawals kind of thing. There's a 53, a 63, a 43, a 43.

Every ASU first down was big. Yeah, large bills only, please, because we like cash. so let's see here how much y'all care about like bracket stuff yeah let's hear it let's hear it yeah all right so Oregon one Georgia two

the so Ohio State Tennessee looks like the the first round Holly you get to visit the vibe Columbus in winter time who I'm just

they got to go from the most depressing day of their lives to We're hosting a playoff game. Well, and Stephen Godfrey also pointed out to me today that if that game is like cold, cold, the Tennessee winter wear you're about to see is going to be. Oh, man. Oh, Jesus. So bright.

So bright. Okay. Because that's, all right, all right. Because it's not the same orange, right? Correct. That's closer to the blaze orange is a lot closer to Cerber can attest to Clemson's orange to Oklahoma State's orange. However, we don't get real winter down here. All everybody has for winter shit is hunting gear.

If you ever have the pleasure of going to Ober Gatlinburg in the winter to ski on a small mountain of fake snow, you will see people skiing in jeans and hunting camo all the time. This is just, this is a thing. So we're going to play right into that fucking trope up there. A James Bond action shot set in a Cabellas, basically. Or maybe, yeah, I mean, it won't look all that different than like, you know, a Bengals game. in the winter. I got your view to kill right here, bitch. No time to dip.

I'm pretty irritated by everything that's going to come out of this. But you know what? So is Ryan Day. So is Ryan Day. I don't hate this corner of the bracket. Honestly, I don't. Like, Jesus Christ, what do I want to do? Play fucking Arizona State?

No. I think, yeah, this you get a chance to just finish off a woefully depressed Ohio State. And then if you lose to Oregon, okay, everybody loses to Oregon. So this is a great spot. Tennessee and Oregon fans actually get along great. We did a home-and-home with them. I think we've talked about this, or split-zone talked about this at one point. There are swaths of Tennessee and Oregon fans that, like, became tailgate buddies after our home-and-home.

I think back during, was that Dooley era or early but shit? I don't remember. Anyway, yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing a bunch of our duck friends again. I'm looking forward to that. Can I mark my deep satisfaction that we have accidentally created the Indiana Super Bowl with one of these? Yeah, possibly. So Georgia, the two seed, the seven and ten. Indiana, it looked very likely the ten.

That's their spot. Either Penn State or Notre Dame. I could see a case for either six and seven Penn State or Notre Dame there. So the more pleasant one would be Indiana going. to Notre Dame, and you get the Indiana State Championship for the right to face Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. Who will be king of this sainted land?

Who will rule over from one corner of the flatness to the other? Who will be the Tsar of Terre Haute? Only one may live to complain about the Chicago Bears.

Who aren't even in the state? I haven't spent much longer in Indiana than it takes to cover a Notre Dame game or do our Indianapolis show this summer. I do know that when we mentioned Tara Hote in a vaguely dismissive manner at our show this summer, people

went fucking wild. Sure. So let's stick with that, whatever that is. I know that Marcus Freeman when contacted about the mythical crown of the kingdom of Indiana said we're excited about the game and Kurt Signetti when contacted about it said, I'll fucking

die for this shit. Oh, which one sounds more Christ like to you? Who will be Kyle Orton's queen? Ew! I'll kiss him. I don't care who it is. Bring him over here. Kurt Sig will do it.

Kyle Orton's nothing but love. Can we put Kyle in the bed of a truck and run him through a car wash or something first? Tried it. It won't work. Got too horny. Kurt Siggs and Jay Cutler. I can see it. Number three seed, Fiesta Bowl, either Boise or Arizona State.

Probably Boise? Does that feel right? I think so, unless they decide, you know, ASU beat the, you know, beat Iowa State enough to jump them. It feels unlikely, but heading into that one, either Penn State or Notre Dame at the 6, I think Penn State, but it doesn't matter what I think. And then we get into the big mess, Clemson, SMU, Alabama, 11 and 12, both of those. Is Miami not even in this consideration here at this point? I mean, based on the rankings... What do they do, Ryan lose three games? Based on the rankings, they were already below Bama,

and then Bama got stronger today because they now have a wind over the SEC champ, so yeah, they're out. Thank you to everyone in my mentions, by the way. Sorry, thank you to everyone mentions overlapping the Syria, the game winning percentage, the likelihood, the graph, right, of Miami losing to Syracuse with the plummeting trajectory

of Bashar al-Assad plane. I wouldn't fly a plane in a mountainous region that low. Well, you know, somebody was like, that's S.Y.R. taking you down either way. And I was like, that's true. This is, oh, man, shoot. Who said this on the broadcast earlier tonight? I was jerked out of a near nap earlier today

by somebody saying, yeah, that was a, it might have been Kirk. Somebody said like, that was a tough loss to one of the nation's great teams. Syracuse, like, phton. Can I jump in with Torpedo Sneaks comment here, that Arizona State will probably go to the Peach Bowl for the second time. And remember that the last time they went to the Peach Bowl, they were so pissed that they were going to the Peach Bowl, the Fiesta Bowl was created. Bowl mitosis. That's true.

And then also Texas, the five seed for a Texas Clemson feels like, yeah, we could probably pencil that in. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Yeah. That's not pleasant. I don't like that. You know, but the winner will face Arizona State, so they're doomed anyway. Yeah, that's right. Nobody could beat them.

Freshman QB, no star running back, built like a Minecraft character. I guess the alternative would be if they decided Clemson 11, SMU 12, they decide, like, ah, head-to-head, that Trump's number of losses or whatever, but, you know, something like that. Texas SMU, God, now I want that. Let's do that. Good God. Hey, y'all know each other, right? Who else will be Kyle Lorton?

Queen. I'll kiss anybody. Let's bring him here. Kyle's got enough love for everybody. The winner gets Quincy Carter. Delightful. Those are the Dallas Cowboys joke, Georgia fans. Don't settle down.

So is the Kyle Orton one, frankly. The potential instability generated, by the way, in one of these possible projections, if, say, Bama is at 11 and they're playing at Penn State, I want you to consider the game management decisions brought on by. Kayla DeBoer versus James Franklin, the Wolfman, who tonight called a timeout for no reason at the end of the game. And also went for two for some fucking reason when he didn't have to. The math made sense.

That math made sense. I don't think it did because if you're James Franklin. Right, right. That's the qualifier that you're adding in there. I think if you make enough confusing decisions, nobody can point to one of them is the wrong one. That's in the Art of War, I believe. I think James Franklin's sitting there with Andy Kotelnicki on the line at the end of the game. And he goes, I need you to have him throw a pick so they don't miss on the two-point conversion that I fucked up earlier, just in the game now.

Then I can go back to the boosters. And I'll be like, if I have more money, it'll be better at calling games. I just need money. Every year, how does Penn State football come down to 20 of my most pleasant internet friends being held at gunpoint by a coach who makes his own problems? Oh, folks, we did it. Sorry, we have a winner. Jeffrey Matthews. It's been a very long and busy day, so I missed a lot.

But I did learn about Assad via shutdown forecast. As always, your number one news source. I'm waiting for the people who find out tomorrow. Andy Kodlnicki was in his bag. Oh, my God. Oh, God. These numbers are crazy. And they did not win Penn.

They didn't win Penn State the game, but God damn. like impressive, impressive array all the same. Yeah, no, we're looking at, what, 600 yards? 600 yards. 518. 518? 292 of them on the ground. And that's a 35 rushing attempts.

That's not like, oh, we decided to spam run for 60 attempts or something like that. Like overall, I thought, a very impressively called game, uh, despite some, like some of these, some of these turnovers. Yeah, you know what else is a staggering number? Tess Johnson having 181 yards despite weighing as much as a fifth grader. Like there was a fifth grader loose in your secondary. And Penn State was like, which I don't blame them actually. He's so hard to catch.

No, look at squarely. He's running loose through a target. We can't do anything about it. Why is he slippery? What is that? He's running around like Knife, kid. A knife. No!

Just making the Jetson's car noise. Oh, it's pixie sticks. God, he's covered. You gave him real Coke? I didn't even know they still made Lickamade. You gave him Mexican Coke? What's wrong with you? He was slowing down for a minute.

He got into the talkies and now he's naked in spring again. Mom's new boyfriend said we could have slushies. Oh, no. He took his shirt off. That makes little boys five times faster. That will never get you That is true, Jason It really is

They're just invincible at that point Oregon's so awesome If you make a single mistake They just absolutely choke you with it It was like this entire game was like Okay, Penn State's efforting Putting something together He got a guy number 44

He's their best player He's effort effort And then Oregon's just like Zip Zip Zap Now we're back up by two touchdowns every time like oh we've got a blitz there's three guys to this side where he's up there's guy in the flat he's open and he just ran out the sideline because he gained 11 yeah look at that was third and 10 shit it happened over and over and over again this game

just don't give them it's just they do this jujitsu thing where you're like i'm just going to see if i can put my arm out and now it's it's locked it's locked like they'll put you in an arm bar out of any stance or position it's fucking unreal it doesn't look fun it really no it was fun at all every time i looked up organ's offense i was like why he seems very excited it's just guys open running to the flat for like eight yards ease with ease on a pen state defense that's pretty good yeah really good yeah uh ben state play day overall all things considered great game and kind of came close and like the score says

they came you know quite close but oh man two tackles for loss by Penn State no I'm sorry got that wrong it's six it's Oregon who had two tackles for loss what the hell yeah it didn't matter though they just they're just like yeah whatever score didn't matter so thank you thank you Drew Aller

for throwing a pick and saving us the debate as to whether James Franklin caused the team the game for two at the wrong time. Thank you Clemson for hitting a field goal and avoiding another, another, like, I can't imagine how, like, given what server has already told us about, Clemson's field goal unit, and there were a couple in this game where it was like, wow, did that not happen?

Like, I can't imagine how stupid between that SMU's drops, like, something absolutely brutal would have happened in overtime of this game. I guess technically the avoidance of overtime was fairly brutal for SMU as well, considering how, like, the epic way in which they tied the game up, but still. Does this mean Clemson's kickers have kissed more people? Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

The haint. It has, like, it has worked its way back around and. I made out with Nolan. Oh, okay. Thank you for falling on that particular sword, brother. It's called teamwork. Kyle Orton's waiting on the bench. He's like, I'm ready when you are.

I'm ready. Listen, I'm a lineman. I do things for the team, and I'll always do that. Why was Clemson scared to play Syracuse, though? Many are wondering. That sounds like a chicken crossing the road joke. Clemson had to play four conference road games because the SEC hates Clemson. We had to go to Pennsylvania and Florida.

Those are very different. Geographically, yeah. Dabo's not going to complain. It was God's plan. Florida State had to play one, two, three, four. Actually, one, two, three, only three conference road games for Florida State. So the SEC loves Florida State. Yeah, but Florida State had to go all the way to Ireland to lose.

That might be a legitimate complaint. I'd be like, what'd you do? I had to fly all the way to Ireland to get my ass beat by a bunch of nerds. I went to Ireland to yell at Kirk Herb Street. Does he live there? Hey, we've been real mean to Florida State all season, and that's going to continue. But you know what? Not in both season.

It won't. They won't be there. I'm sure we'll find a way to mention them anyway. Well, but you know what? Unlike some people, I know, they're playing made it back. So scoreboard. Wow. Wow.

In your moment of the world as seen through dad wisdom, the prism of dad wisdom, reading the article that came out this week by Bruce Feldman, and Matt Baker and the athletic about the very bad year that Floor State had and why it happened. One of the reasons was when they were entertaining free agent quarterbacks through the portal two alternatives,

two choices were Cam Ward and DJ O'Yongolalele. In the article... I haven't known that name it forever. One thing cited for the choice of DJ over Cam was the differential

in price. And in my head, I heard it. I heard the like archetypical iconic platonic ideal of all dads going well you could cheap out now but it's going to cost you later which water heater

am I going to get Newy Angolele seems fine don't cheap out on your shit Italy Branson's right there but I mean if FSU had gone hard on an expensive quarterback, okay, maybe they bump it up to five and seven.

That's the other thing. But you know what? You know what FSU players all have in common this postseason? We have them at home. Jason, I'm pretty sure they'd be thrilled to be five and seven right now. I got to be honest. I know, yeah. If they knew two and ten was an alternative.

I think if you told them like, hey, it'll cost you $4 million, but you'll just be kind of like normally hell bad i think they would take that if they knew two and ten was an alternative but like otherwise they would be exactly as mad as they are right now also it's not their money if you have the average fs u fan you'd be like so should fs u pay like 300 million sure they got it whatever i don't know yeah who gives the shit we'll just sue the acc and use that money that's right all we got to do is keep that's right there's always money in the banana aces The ACC?

Listen, between this accident settlement, the ACC lawsuit, and this crypto I got cooking, shit, we could clone Camboard. It's called Slippin'Fall coin,

and it's more valuable than ever. Hawk 2 on this, baby. I funded, I funded my football program the old-fashioned way. I got hit by Alexis. Is it late enough for me to deliver my conclusion on that

that we arrived out of the other? Real quick. Hawk 2 and 10. Go ahead. All right. No, no, I can't follow that. There's the episode title. Conference Championship Recap.

Hawk 2 and 10. I like this comment. FSU rugpole crypto would be epic. What do you mean would be? They did all that minus the crypto because apparently they're broke. You know that? What if you made a whole university out of? It's right there.

How could you rug pull someone? who fell through the subfloor already. They ain't got no rug. They haven't had a rug since Jimbo's hair left. I woke up the dog. I miss you, Hair Island. Oh, God, I forgot about Hair Island.

Hair Island, yeah. And then it became an archipelago, and then it became a little peninsula. Then we had the comeback of hair continent. Just the whole geological pattern shifting over time. The whole tectonic lesson. up there on that man's scalp. Jimbo's the only person I've ever seen who proved plate tectonics happens with hair too.

Just a whole beautiful arrangement of like, in a, you know, in 10 million years, our continents will be touching. It's beautiful. You're learning all that just by looking at Jimbo's head. Make the continents kiss. Jimbo. Hey, Jimbo, you do the job at West Virginia for free, wouldn't you? Hell no.

Read this comment aloud that was just pinned. Baldness took a toll on Jimbo. Atoll. Thank you, Jesus, Dave's. Hey, speaking of Florida, we have multiple people in our mentions, including a couple who appear to be trying to break the news to us, which is awesome. It is the return of one of our longest tenured and most ardently celebrated holidays, boys. Dahoo d'ahoodore, welcome Scott Frost to Orlando. Yep, it's time to pack up the panic room.

Time to put up my 18 AR-15s into a duffel bag. Does he know he can't have a basement there? Nope. All right. That's woke thinking. All right. You know, you can have a basement in Florida. You just need the will and the courage.

Yeah. Scott Frost is back at UCF. Sure. He's got a passion for having a job. I mean, the UCF program. What a perfectly Florida move to be like, damn, shit's not working. I think it's time to sex to my high school girlfriend. Hey, listen, it's a home for the holidays tradition.

This is, listen, what else in this year is not going like we are all, it's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we are all back at the hometown Applebee's, the nation, as a whole. hole we ordered a lemon drop martini and we're pretty sure it's just room temperature sweet and sour mix in a glass and here comes bethany holly holly the signs are all there what's the hallmark what's the non-chief's uh holiday movie it's hot frosty we should have we should have known also hot frosty went 16 and 31 at nebraska f r o s i'll get it i'll get it hang on it or It's got to rhyme with something.

Every house in Florida has a pool in the basement, if you think about it. O-R-L-A-N-D-O. There we go. Hey, don't say, Matt, don't say Scott Frost would wear the Citronaut's jacket on a date. Anyone would be happy to wear the Citronaut's jacket on a date. Yeah. Honored. Huh.

That's awesome. I'm exhausted. That's so absolutely. Between this and like the Bill Belichick to UNC. See? I'm just like, that wasn't, that wasn't real, was it? You know what? He interviewed. It was more real than it deserved to be.

I mean, I know he interviewed, but really? Yeah. I mean, there are a lot of things where I started thinking about it, and I was like, yeah, I want to watch Bill Belichick lose to Wake Forest. I want to watch him have to go in front of the seven reporters at the UNC press conference. While wearing old Patriots gear, probably. There. Thank you, Hope. Scott Frost, the rise and fall of a Midwest princess.

That's what we were reaching for. I just want to watch him have to do that and be like, well, you know, Charlotte's got a really good football team. I'm passionate about the banking community. We're on to James Madison. Hey, listen, he's got girlfriends to fund. He does. He's got to be close to a financial center of power.

Yeah. What an incredible. God, he looked terrible in Tar He'll blow too. I don't know. He's got a lot of like sailing sweaters. Doesn't you have like, yeah, he's got he's, that man is Nantucket literate. I think he'll be fine. He'd look like the fucking music man. Yeah, but like. Spencer's favorite musical?

Yeah. That is my favorite musical. Oh yeah, we've got trouble right here in Cincinnati. Starts with a P and it ends with a T and rhymes with punt. So I googled music man and all I see is this spider with a keyboard for a mouth is that is that it okay that's the music mantioch that's good put a pen in that okay tm tm yeah all right the number of stupid things that by the way that are going to happen over the next week i would just if i haven't if i had a bet that i could place on just a you know a blanket like stupid versus the field stupid's going to beat the field the field of normal stupid's going to triumph

Always does. Always does, my ma'am. Yeah, because we're like, oh, there's no coaches, no coaches in the SEC who are going to suddenly leave their job. I don't know about that, brother. I don't know about that. Might want to just, might want to put a pin in that. Yeah.

Saints might hire Shane Beehner. What, no. I just made that up. Oh, no. Oh, okay. God, yeah. server that's great for server

by the way you know who understands the game do you know who is great for Spencer and Ryan too because you know yeah but you know who was spitting game today on TV all day because he understands that's right Shane Beamer Shane Beamer

Shane Beamer the Timothy Shalamee of the SEC Yeah that's right Same hair yeah Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Chicanal Gabe On a long enough timeline himself

was all over Every time I looked up, because I watched the games today, and I watch there's like a, there's a conference room off the cafeteria at ESPN where they have like the biggest honking video boards where they put all the games up and stuff, but they have all the feeds up too. And man, Shane, Shane was like doing everything but holding up like a white balance sheet, like TV savvy. And I was thinking, I was like, oh, man, there's Shane. He's stumping for the Gamecocks. That's great. Then I was also thinking, Shane Beamer. and basically when a coach does that much TV

and he's that good at it it's it's the whole like hey I'm taking plumbing classes in addition to uh you know me giving this acting thing because if one falls through I can always fall back on that because Shane Beamer's going to do TV one day and that was very apparent after watching him today can we talk about Boise State yes let's that shit was just so fun

that's like I feel that's a very simplistic way to look at it but what a what a fun year it has been to get to watch ashton gentie just like i know he's probably not going to catch barry sanders i know like yeah barry sanders did in a different time in a different number of games blah blah yeah but that doesn't do that doesn't mean a damn thing in the moment no it doesn't look like it means a thing to him in the moment and it should diminish being arguably the best since barry sanders that's yes yes to be even in that conversation in in 2024 when running backs don't usually get to do this at all is just wild and to have done it right out of the gate and kept it up all season like we we got to we got to like he made such

a splash so early remember like with those first three or four games that we got to clue in on it immediately and then like we we got to watch it and realize it was going to be historic as it was happening so we got to appreciate it like in the moment and not just like and not realize how special it was only at the end and i love that right yeah i remember the very first game of the year the georgia southern game spencer and i watched and we just marveled at ashton gentie the whole game just knocking dudes over and then he kept it up all season every yeah it's like it was some real september heisman that was like oh okay and it just kept happening yeah but it was real and i just like every boise state game you know you weren't watching it maybe

He was a week in that game or whatever. You scroll past a Ashton Jentee runs for a 50-yard touchdown. Okay, that's awesome. He does it all the time. Keep scrolling. Oh, there's another one. Wait, did I already see this? No, it's a different one.

It felt like every week. Yeah, he had the most deja vu season because I really did think I had stepped out and they were just rerunning what I had just seen. And that's exactly what his game logs look like because we saw him run for 267 versus Georgia Southern, Jason. And I thought, well, I mean, you know, that's a 200-yard game, close to 300. You know, so you won't do that again. World's wrongest buzzer sound.

Because he did 259 versus Wazoo, and 217 against Hawaii. Then he did 209 against Nevada. And then you go, oh, today against a, like we said, a top 10 run defense. In the halves. A run defense that had held into his worst game in the season, and I'm using air quotes there, that he hadn't just been like, okay, there's my 12 carries, I'm done for the day. They had held him to 128 yards and one score on 33 carries before. Pedestrian.

And then with one less carry this time, it was just like, boop, here's an easy, 209 yards. No big deal. I feel like when it's over 100 yards, I don't think we should get to say held him to. We should have to use something else. Well, you know what? When you consistently are running for 200 plus yards, it may be it applies. No, never mind. You know what you're right. That is fair. I just, Boise State has not just a playoff spot. They have a buy, maybe a good buy.

Yeah. And this comes 18 years after they went undefeated, should have claimed a title. 15 years after they went undefeated, should have claimed a title. Like all those years of them not being allowed to participate. And now they, I mean, Like, this is the only team that has outgained Oregon in a game all year is Boise State. And it's, and it's not even controversial that they're going to be in the playoff. It's, it's not even arguable.

And they're not even on the bubble of the buys. Right. Like, they're just, they're, they're, like, look at the teams at the top, an undefeated power and Kirby Smart's Georgia and then Boise State and then Arizona State. Mm-hmm. As we all saw. As we all saw. It's like the

Dragon meme We have two silly dragons But they're also Secretly very powerful dragons They're pretending to be silly dragons They're silly They're silly but their legs are so big And so strong

They're all squatting dragons I do feel a little bit bad for Army Yeah Yeah If they were If the committee were to say You know what Fuck all this

Army is in instead of, fuck it, Ohio State, you're too sad. You don't get to do this. Army's tagging in for Ohio State. That would be fine. In fact, I encourage Ohio State to do that. Sometimes you just need to wallow.

Go to ground. Engage in some rot. Maybe do the finished tradition of hanging around your own home, drunk in your underpants. That's, if you want to do that. That's a Browns game. So you double up on it. They're already halfway there.

Make the whole weekend. out of Browns. And you're sad and you just want to listen to a sad song. Ohio State just go watch the Browns and the Bengals. Ooh, he's having his Browns Month. Yes. Watch Bengals Cowboys this week. You think you got problems.

Watch that. They're going to come. They're going to listen. I think you'll come out of it a lot better. And you can take and finally watch a godly team that can actually run the ball unlike your team and put them on the field. You don't even have to change the location. the game we'll play it in ohio army will show up i'll just troop on over there you know why because

they have that much yardage they have that much ground game now i am a little concerned if it's tennessee ohio state and tennessee goes to columbus and wins that tennessee fans will rush the field with pepper spray just for fun i heard you get to fight a copse we're going to pepper spray you copper it's not pepper spray they just brought jars of chow chow chow Hey Where are they at? Nobody's going to waste Chow Chow like that Come on, man

Ain't a waste if I get to throw it in a copseyes. We're not listening, we're going to put sun chokes in the freezer And just wing them like batteries. It's the weapon I can buy at Cracker Barrel. Jesus Christ, okay, I'd waste Cracker Barrel Other than the T game. Take those god-awful fucking smoky mountain moonshine pickles and make Molotov

Cocktills out. Tennessee fan challenge. I'm giving you $35. $10. Construct a bomb out of things you only find at the Cracker Barrel. Spencer, what do you mean?

Challenge. Jesus. I wouldn't be shocked if you could just buy a bomb at the Cracker Barrel, quite honestly. Why did you ask? It's in toys.

Yeah. You can buy orange juice. Do you want it in Christian or Dolly Parton? We got both options. You can make Napalm pretty easily out of Cracker Barrel. It's very clear.

If you just look here, Orange Crush soda, Horhound Candy, Tannerite. That's it. so here's what's headed you're away columbus let's not look it's late it's just us here let's not pretend there's a great deal of daylight between these families no sure yep yeah oh i love us and only us

cannot wait oh man bbccu.gov as this is this is going to be the primary point of contention for bbq.gov i regret to inform you that the columbus area cracker barrels fucking suck that is what they're going to come home mad about when i find that son of a bit bob evans cracker brits have never been good sorry little thank you jamie the anarchist cracker barrel cookbook that's another episode title we have so many um so in in review boisey state thumbs up loved it Mm-hmm. Great. Army. Army. Huge thumbs up. Huge thumbs up.

SMU. Thumbs up anyway. Thumb, thumb, thumbs up. Spoons up. Spoons up for S&U. Penn State thumbs up. Dude, thumbs up Penn State. They did. They did the thing. Like, look, look, considering Penn State was going to get in the playoff either way, we can figure out our feelings about that. Wait, they don't have the rocking chairs at those cracker barrels? I'm sorry, right. I'm sorry, this is important.

Oh, no, this is, we're done talking about. What this shit? Can we have a civilization? What about the big checkerboard? Did they have that? Oh, ignoramus is. We don't have candy sticks. Just kettlebells.

We don't have swizzle sticks. We don't believe the rainbows are gay. This is just a diner. That's all this is. Oh, we're in New Jersey now. Yeah. That's just a filthy bathroom attached to a general store. So Ohio Cracker Barrels, thumbs down.

We don't like those. Big thumbs down. Big thumbs down. The Ohio Bobcats, a thumbs up. Thumbs up. Yeah. Marshall thumbs up, considering they were all like, we're definitely firing this coach all season.

I'm going to give Georgia neutral, but Rabin County, thumbs up. Thumbs up, brothers. Yeah, there we go. Georgia thumbs up for winning it in one overtime. Yeah, in one overtime and doing it in the stupidest possible way. At last Kirby, you've titrated Georgia football down to your ideal football substance. I do appreciate that. Can you please rephrase for a Georgia curriculum?

Yes. Yeah, sorry. Bolt. I believe bolt is the verb you want. Yeah, we finally managed to erode the rock so that we've uncovered the natural core of bus champ to all of this. That's climate change. Try again. We done bolt it.

Thank you, Jason. Finally back to Christian football. 2219. Stocker, gunter, gunner, stocked in a quarterback. and who turned the tide with the clever bit of chicanery a bobo that's who that's right we got a bobo involved we done took the room temperature IQ and we lowered it we took the AC and we lowered that shit we're down to a steady 65 degrees of IQ running this team now but that's all right because we tough as hell can't lower our A1C but we can do something about this I did appreciate that when

When Texas kicked, had the ball first in OT and made a field goal, Sark was like, ah, we're fucked. I'm just going to give you the most courteous thumbs down I can give you. I hated watching that. I hated it. Yeah, I think they agree. Yeah, they agree, too. Was it because they didn't have bevo there?

I don't think of a bugger. I got to think that was affecting things. Ogo's looking for the rematch, bevoed and whatnot. Well, because this is the next generation, right? This is Luke. I came to my 110 yards and you lost. Yeah. Thumbs down, man.

You've got to fix that shit. Horns down, thumbs down. Horns down. Yeah. Again, I'll take... No, we hate that. No! Did they bring Bivo and just, like, leave him at the hotel?

Left him with a sitter. Mm-hmm. The sitter, unfortunately, the sitter was Mike Gundy. I'm taking Bivo to the blue flame. That's what we're doing. Oh, who. I took a cow to the strip club, my Atlanta Journal. Hey, they're great there.

Vice is back. Yeah, Vicea. That's it. I took an exotic South American drug and the Texas mascot Bivo, and we went to the blue flame to hang out with Open Mikey. With some child soldiers. And that's how you get Clemson winning the ACC. Speaking of child soldiers, Timothy Shalamey. That's right.

I forgot to see his final record. I know at one point he was 3 and 0 on the picks. Yeah. You know what? Hey, I'm going to do this. Thumbs up to Clemson. This isn't a dabbo. It's never to dabbo.

But thumbs up to Clemson. For... Thumbs up to Serber. Let's put it that way. Thumbs up to Serber, man. Yeah. Thumbs up to Cerber and Chile and all of our devoted Clemson fans. There are six normal Clemson fans and we know all of you and we love you.

Yeah. You're all smart as hell and you still like college football. We appreciate that. Thumbs down to Rick Scott. SMU law school alum. Fuck off. Thumbs up to Chili if he's in here who made the best goddamn cheesecake over Thanksgiving that I think any of us have ever had. That's not a metaphor.

Thumbs sideways to Iowa State? You respect. Like it's fine. If a double digit wins for the first time of program history, thumbs up. Thumbs up. Like that's amazing. You're quite literally the best team in the history of the program. Be enormously proud.

Asked not for who the Skataboo tolls, bro. Yeah. Oh, Arizona State. I thumb, whatever up. Forks up. Forks up. Forks up. Forks up.

Dicks up for Arizona. Dicks up. Dicks. Dicks up. Dicks up and wagland. Forks. Forks. Forks for Dix for Arizona State.

Yeah. Do the towel trick. I'll fucking try it. We're in the playoff. Yeah. helicopter that shit eras on the state can you helicopter it if there's three point if there's three pronged yeah yeah yeah that's uh i'm trying to think of a vehicle that has that feature but i'm assuming this is the real chris matthews in the chat yep and this question makes a lot

of sense in that context you can't lie on lincoln no that's how we know everybody's real happy about the news of the week uh chris chris matthews says uh he for Three Months believed server's name was server, like a computer server. He does serve. He thought we talked to computers? What is this? What is this Northwestern? I would love if the people who are like, oh, yeah, he's their C3PO.

He's a real chill droid that they got over there. Thumbs up for droid server. C3POC stands for Clemson Yeah They say Clemson A three is for Dale And the POs I'm pissed off at

The PO is because you're our parole officer What day is it? It doesn't matter Always P O to South Carolina Fuck you, South Carolina It's late enough that I can ask this Do you think Dabo heard the news that the New York shooter had the backpack full of Monopoly money, and he was like,

that's right, somebody who respects the grandeur of amateur athletics, who's not in it for an I-HL. Hey, monopoly was also created as a critique of capitalism. Don't you think that's interesting? I don't think Davo has heard of any of us. No. No, absolutely not. Like, he's like, U.H.C., which church's that? United.

That's unfortunate. Holiness. comfort and prayers to their congregation. I hope they catch that liberal idea. Have they tried bleeding him? Well, in a manner of speaking. Not with leeches. Yeah.

Thumbs up to my assumed consumption of dues per dabbo. Dabo, does Dabo, somebody needs to do this. If you have dabo's... I would give any amount of money, Spencer, you're in Bristol, pass along this bounty. Let's take the $10,000. that the NYPD is offering and offer it instead as a bounty to any on-screen personage

who can ask any coach departing a field to point to Syria on a map just one hey coach real quick just unrule Syria Georgia or Syria Alabama which one Is that close to Siliconaga? Damascus got some great running box

oh listen do you do you want you want to know what you want to know what the current going price of a tip in that case i'm not making a joke there's a damascus in coleman county don't yell at me i'm sure do you want to know what i'm not kidding the going price for a tip in this case and a quality recruit is this davo doesn't tip k ain't going to cut it 50k ain't cutting it shit you got more than that for winning the sunbelt that won't even get me a recruiting visit at Georgia name image and Latakia that's what that stands for

Jesus Christ that's right so I think I think we've talked about everything that we could possibly talk about on the podcast After dark wait wait I want to ask Jason one more question

because he is the bracket seer the bracket understanding if there is one thing tomorrow that we're all like what the fuck what would the one thing be i mean the wackiest thing would be Alabama in over SMU yeah but it's since it's Alabama everyone's going to be on edge until it doesn't happen um and i realize i said this exact same thing a year ago listen every single year Alabama is not dead until we see the body this was this was the wisdom of the time. This was, this was the best wisdom of the time. I want to pause for a second for

when, when Florida State fans are like, shit, do we have to get online to defend the honor of SMU to show that we're being persecuted? Cocaine solidarity, brother. No, but if we sympathize, then we can't sue them. Mm-hmm. I mean, yeah, it's a, that, that's the weirdest. Texas, you know, I feel like they'll only fall to five. They lost in overtime. but they could tumble a little further, possibly, because they kind of haven't done anything. Texas, their best win is like A&M, Michigan, Florida. Their best win might be Florida.

The best one might be Florida. Thank you. That's all we do is we get other people into the playoffs. Go geters. That's right. We're job creators. Yeah. Eleven of the teams are locked in, really.

It's kind of funny how it works out every single year. We know almost all the spots. All right. Let me ask you one more question. What would the four-team playoff look like in this world? So where we don't have to do auto buys. So then we're talking Oregon, Georgia, Notre Dame, and then everyone's yelling about...

Everything? Sure. Yeah, at that point, I mean, fuck, Boise State might make it. This would be a... We're probably yelling about, like, Penn State versus Texas versus... I don't know. I have a request that I have to full. fill here. Not a request, but I'm going to

make it one podcast has put a stirring comment in which is currently pinned and I'm going to try to do it. Aleppo. Higher. Aleppo. There we go. Also.

Jesus bet Aleppo. Alapo. Urban Meyer and Bacher al-A-Assad drinking in the back of a Wegmans somewhere in Columbus, Ohio. It's like Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man. Oh, family men.

I would like, because he did it on LinkedIn, the bravest platform, Gregory Roman, yeah, you're right. Alabama did get blown out by Oklahoma, scoring only three points. We should remember that. We should remember that. We should remember that. It's easy to forget in this holiday season of hustle and bustle, let's remember the reason for the season, which is that Oklahoma fucking destroyed Alabama and held them to three. points we haven't you actually do have one more thing to discuss in addition to Alabama losing so

fucking bad getting their ass handed them by Oklahoma jaren clay says could you guys discuss the gentleman at the SEC title game half time who invented some weird double ball one hand method of winning the dr. pepper scholarship challenge okay no because he himself then pursued to get smoked by our girl naya yes uh the one though passing forever that was i believe that was in the big 10 championship game with yeah and he got like 15 and it was super fucking weird then she got 18 but our guy in the c c championship game i think that was jacob no the guy yeah he hit with a water polo technique it wasn't quite a jump shot it wasn't quite a push pass it's a water polo pass and that's why he managed a winning score of 14 technique got to look into that i'd hit it with my nose like a seal

You know what I do In honor of Arizona State? It doesn't say you can't bring a friend Dicks up for Arizona State We can set it up like volleyball's Ryan And you can head him in Okay You'd mushroom head it into the

Right off the diving board Spencer, you won't play pickup basketball At the live show would you do this? Can we bring a Dr. Pepper can? Easily it'd be way less humiliating It's basically just flat basketball that you're playing. Yeah, I could do that, especially now that I've seen the light of the water polo technique.

I just have to work on that. I'd drop kick them. Tiny little drop kicks. How satisfying would it be to just throw the ball as far as you could every fucking time? Even 30 yards over the can. The people in the stands go crazy. I turn around and throw it the other way. Look how far I can throw it.

Hey, fuck you, Dennis. Hey, Georgia. I don't care that you, I don't care that you chest past the levit in. Throwing it as hard as I can at the other contestant. I'd just be out there being in Dr. Pepper himself. That's right. That's right. See if you could knock the can over with a pass.

I'd punt them as far as I could. And then I'd grab the winner's microphone and scream, college should be free and run away. No, Jesus, Dave's in the comments has a fantastic. idea of just waiting for two kids to participate in the indignity and split the money get off your knees peasants he's not even a real doctor so like tired overhand pass wired chest pass inspired no pass that's right that's right buddy this is georgia versus texas there's not a real doctor in the building

no gods no masters no path no pass passers and that that has been the full cast after dark brought to you by prize picks and sort of chalemay yeah ball knower all knower to respect to ball knower tim shallamee who uh baldee yeah hey wait real quick can you say bened jessurit as mac brown everybody i just got got one more thing to say. That would involve Mac Brown acknowledging a woman. Yeah.

I don't have, I'm on the road. Say you don't trust him. I'm on the road recruiting in Syria. It's not going real well. I've got to be honest. You know who else struggled on the road to Damascus? Happened to be heading the other way on the road of Damascus.

That's not the first time Max had that experience. No. But, but you know, it's a tough job market, but we're gonna we're gonna do it right but i got two more words just to say to benegeserate good night he's got the complexion of a sandworm now that i think about it