Shutdown Fullcast - Fullcast After Dark: Gators Win

Episode Date: November 17, 2024

Somebody's got a birthday!Spencer has some things to say to Clark GableRenewing our feud with Captain AmericaThe greatest LinkedIn comment in show historyGruesome LSU statistics, updated by RyanHolly catches up to StanfordCoach Jason updates us on Colorado StateAAC championship race updateMaintaining a safe emotional distance from PittBattle for the Bones update!Our faith in Nebraska goes unrewardedBYU's mascot takes a rideBody dysmorphia with Gus JohnsonAnd so much moreCome hang out with Jason in Jacksonville, in (a) church! www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-eventFullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

Fulcast After Dark for men. Brought to you by Rise Picks. Welcome. Wow. To the full cast after dark. And happy birthday, Lisa Bonay. Ro. I'm just looking at birthdays from today, and it's Lisa.

Who else has a birthday today, Ryan? Let's see. If it's somebody I'm supposed to know, I feel bad about it, because I'm just scrolling casually. Amari Stademeyer has a birthday today. That's who I was thinking of. No. Pete Davidson has a birthday today.

Happy birthday, Pete. So there's that. I don't know. Is there anybody important who has a birthday day? I genuinely don't know. No, but it might as well have been the birthday for... Eric Crouch has a birthday today.

Eric Crouch's birthday. Happy birthday, Eric Crouch. Heisman Trophy winner, Nebraska legend. Something went right for Nebraska, maybe. Back when Nebraska could win a sixth game with ease. Something... Did we not do this? Did we not go over their schedule and go,

Ooh, if they don't win X, it's going to get real rough down the stretch. I'm starting to feel bad. Clark Gable died on this day. Did he? Not an hour too soon. Whoa. Get your ass out of here. Other podcasts are too pro Clark Gable, but not this one.

Spencer, do you know who Clark Gable is? I know he got gone with the wind and he needs to stay there. God damn it. I can't believe I laid that one over the plate for you. bang that's right other podcasts won't talk shit about clark gable we will at last harry blackstone died on this date or did he perfect crime erie edie sedgwick died today of alcohol and barbiturate intoxication one sympathizes the dream what what which which part we're only we're not even four minutes in man you're just letting

you're just letting the brain juice fly like this absolutely no stopper whatsoever oh hey you know what when your football team wins a game Ryan tends to when you beat LSU it's time for barbiturates

Florida's what about that sentence doesn't make sense DJ screw died on this date in 2000 you want to make any fun of all now I'm sad yeah now you're now you're no joke we don't have to oh Milton Friedman died today Oh, okay. The Clark Gable of Economics.

The market spoke. The invisible hand. Yeah, pushed him right to that grave. Just boom. The Austrian School of Economics said Caput. Britain Chance, American molecular biologist and yachtsman died at 97. In just a few minutes, it'll be Danny DeVito's birthday. Oh, hell yes.

The big guy's turning 80. 80? He doesn't look a day over like 60. 68. He's always looked a day over 68. Yeah. He had, he had my favorite type of aging, which is, I am eight, I am 30. He's like already done with his aging. Yeah, he pre-aged. Got it all done right away. I have myself up like a ham. Just showed up aged. Have you all seen the Nick Let's Go baby video that came out this fall? You've shown it to me. If you haven't seen it, you will understand. You watch it. You will understand. You will understand. understand why I mentioned it. So, uh, I don't even think he knows that these are commercials he's doing for Jersey mics.

I think he's just showing up and like, hey, let's have fun with the sandwiches. Okay. So I, you remember how we said a while back, Ryan, I think it was you and me. Uh, we had a lengthy discussion regarding whether or not Harrison Ford knows he's in the Captain America movie. Sure. Right. Um, the one with the Captain America that shall not be named. And there's this, you know, there's that little clip at the end of the trailer where it's like, oh, hey, we're teasing Red Hulk. There's a foot of Red Hulk. And so Harrison Ford has been going around on press tours for the Captain America movie going, yeah, I'm Red Hulk, whatever that is.

And while Marvel publicists like scream and rend their garments in the corner. So now it's fun. Now it's just as funny, I think, but in a different way, because how on earth are you going to rain in Harrison Ford? I want to see his version of that Vin Diesel movie's promo where he's just like, the movies, I guess. Hey, Spencer, we have Anthony Mackey defenders in the chat. Fuck Anthony Mackey. Wow.

Yeah. Fuck Anthony Mackey. We'll tell this story every week if we have to. You know what? He was probably rooting for LSU today because he's from New Orleans. So fuck him twice. That's right. Is that where you want to start?

I assume that's where you want to start. If you got a better place, brother, but that's the gas I'm huffing. Georgia fans in the chat are going to be disappointed that we're not starting there, but we'll get there. Oh, whoa, my team has already lost too much. We've already made when another boy has a balloon your entire personality. Y'all can wait. Yeah, congratulations. Your team that's aligned the entire state's power structure and economics around making one football team win a couple of national championships at last after 40 to 50 years of futility and has already lost two games this year, beat Tennessee.

Ooh, okay, good. No, no, no, no, no, that is not what happens. Tennessee beat Tennessee, my dove. That's even worse for you, Georgia. Ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, yeah, go cry in your fucking Tahoe, I don't care. Your quarterback, look, go cry in your Tahoe, your quarterback looks like a haunted funco pop. Who are you all yelling at?

Are there any antagonists here? I'm amped, I'm amped. Okay, he's all amps, yeah, he's all amped. Making up dogs to yell at. No, we're not, straw dogs. I have all. the straw dogs. I'm yelling at all of them.

They're all in my mentions, and when they get back to their desk job at Sinovus on Monday, they're going to be pissed. Damn. Shit. Sinova's catching strays. By the way, Sinovus, if you'd like to sponsor us, shut down to the podcast at gmail.com. Shit. Fuck off.

You got too many dogs. All right. I agree, Wes. I agree. It is going to be fun when Tech runs for 300 yards and wins 3127 in Athens in two weeks. let's try to here i want to i want to offer some some positive words to the college football no georgia fans would be mad if this was on gab ice man can we go over some of the newly bull eligible teams this week would love that let's start north carolina boy it's pretty

late in the year isn't it but you are bowl eligible with your win over wake forest today i'm sure it was scintillating congratulations texas state you got bowl eligible this week Arkansas State Miami of Ohio Washington didn't happen today but did happen this week

you're bowl eligible say it with me friends bowl eligible Rutgers the dream is real I had a good Rutgers friend of mine today send me an article about a previous

Rutgers horse who almost caused Rutgers to lose a game to Army in 1991 previous Rutgers horse yeah this horse is dead like wait like the one that the night rides the yes yes yes it rode onto the field before an extra point the refs got pissed they threw a flag ruckers missed the extra point an army who they're a bad army team they were playing almost came back to beat them with a game if y'all in keeping with Rutgers history and what we know of it was this

horse's name like horse it was lord it was lord something but it was lord lord it wasn't it wasn't It was a decommissioned Rutgers police horse. Oh, my God. It's name. You know that horse's name was cop horse. In this story, at one point, while it was a police horse, it was described as a mischievous horse. It threw a cop. Yes, yes, I know, I know.

I should say this for Tuesday. It's something that I would have said to that horse. Okay, you know what? We'll do more of this on Tuesday, because there's too much. Too much horse lore? Wow. Yeah. I will say this.

Long-term storytelling. The Redger horser. The horse, the horse threw a cop at one point, and the cop's sidearm, like, went flying into a canal that they had to drain to recover the gun. So you're saying this horse was an ally. If Kenneth Cop die? I don't think the cop died. Chat, you can't just say pour one out. That's not what that means.

No. The horse did die. The horse is dead. No, he said for Kenneth cop. Who is a person? I don't know if Ken Copp died. Cheryl Cod was also not dead. Stop it.

Baylor got Bull eligible. Clark Gable's dead, though, thank God. Clark Gable is dead and Baylor is bowl eligible and Dave Aranda is coming back next year. This is the hottest trend of 2024. Fuck it. We'll stay married. Hey, you know what happened one night, Clark Gable. You died.

That's right. Damn. I can't say out loud what I want to say aloud. so I'm just typing it into the group chat and most impressively a team that fired their coach earlier this year east carolina bowl eligible look at that the congratulations to all of these teams Baylor Baylor got so bowl eligible they extended day veranda they didn't no no no I don't think they extended him I'm sorry they they're not firing him they're there list correction they non-de extended him yeah he gets to live yeah right right it's not a it's not a

vow renewal but it's eh we'll keep the divorce papers in the in the bedside table for now i just i just want to note the commentary in the chat is talking shit about auburn beating ullm that's that's the state of auburn i think that's because we said that ullm might get bowl eligible at auburn this week and the fact that you even thought that was a enough of a possibility to try and treat this as a congratulations I guess is that what you want Auburn Auburn that's sad that's just sad everything's on track Peyton Thorne did tie the school record for passing touchdowns in a single game today I'm sorry we have that's amazing comment we have the best LinkedIn all right all right that is Holly can you

can you read this from people who will be listening to the back thank you oh if you're listening as an audio forum and you're one of our for some reason we got new followers this week we kind of just thought that all of our old followers would follow us over from x the everything website but instead we got new people so just for the record we streamed this podcast on lincoln and people with their real pictures and names and government jobs sometimes comment on it and usually it's things like mosquito arby's because these are our listeners but here is nathan whose last name I'm going to redact, even though you can all see it here. Those dogs are relentless, aren't they?

Watching them in action taught me a powerful lesson about B2B relationships. Success comes from persistence, collaboration, and an unyielding drive to achieve shared goals. Just like those dogs, the best partnerships thrive on trust, loyalty, and the willingness to push through challenges together. It's a mindset that transforms transactants into lasting alliances. I think y'all should make this copy pasta. Like, don't, don't spam with it, but it should show up like once a week or so. Is this like the bo-nix is the dark horse for the highest one? Yeah, by the way, people who get LinkedIn, Alex Rodriguez, Nathan Gibson, love that.

So true. Thank you. That's great. I'm recommending Nathan for. Yeah, I'm recommending Nathan for Synergy. I also want to shout out Nathan's avie here. like brother you look like business guy you look like more business yeah

I'm so glad you read it in your normal voice because I just heard it like meatwad right those dogs are relentless harmful that was my normal voice watching them in action top of the powerful lesson is that what y'all think I sound like no no I just love that you read it in business voice you said in your normal voice he did say that he did say that did I yeah okay which one did you mean were you

lying then or are you lying now? What if he's too stupid to know which one was lying? I lie every day. I would like to read you some horrifying statistics from your Louisiana State Tigers. Oh, hell yes. This is what LSU has done in the second half on offense in their last three games, all losses combined. Point scored total 19. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Touchdowns, two, field goals, two. Puntz only three. Why only three? Because they've had six turnovers and four turnovers on downs. Avoiding puns. Avoiding puns at all costs. I think the book has been maybe wrongly written that, oh, LSU's defense, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, is LSU's defense amazing? No. I wouldn't necessarily say that.

But like, this offense crumbles and falls apart in baffling ways. before we started recording, we noted something that was noted on the broadcast as well. Coming into this game, LSU had allowed six sacks across the season entirely. Spencer, how many times did Florida sack LSU tonight? Seven. This is, ooh, ha. Seven. Yeah, seven times.

We, and Florida is not incredible at rushing the past. no no playing florida isn't an excuse for more than doubling your sack total if you said if you had looked at this florida team and gone oh they've improved i'd go three sacks uh-huh maybe we sacked you three times i'd have been real happy with that yeah sure yeah seven seven i'm like whose leg fell off it's it i would be remiss if i did not note that like one of the bright spots over this pretty eh year for tigers fans has been well at least we didn't hire billy napier unfortunately you just lost billy napier yeah you're one consolation the offense does weird things the defense fails at strange times um florida ls u outgained florida in this game oh wait wait no surely florida

played some like perfect mistake-free football to beat the mighty lsu tigers right not at all not in the least it was bad it's so weird i can tell you how they lost this game and it still doesn't feel convincing go ahead yeah that that they did get sacked that they had multiple drives in with field goals where they should have had six that they were generally unable to run the ball at all despite having an offensive line that prior to the beginning of this season was supposed to be not just good but one of the best in the nation and they didn't run the ball and they got Nussmeyer sacked seven times.

It kind of looks on paper like they got a lot of things right but if you watched it you're sitting there looking at it going yeah man I don't know what to tell you I really don't know what to tell you you had a perfectly immobile quarterback sitting in the backfield for Florida who was at times a fact by the pressure, but who ultimately managed to get the ball downfield to Elijah Badger just enough to make it happen. And then after bottling Florida up on the ground, you allow...

What a fantastic Mr. Fox Axe, wider seat in me, by the way. He's got three ducks tucked in his helmet. He does. But yeah, like, and then you bottle Florida up on the ground until a crucial point in the late game 55 yards to the house for jaden ball yeah like just every time you fuck up it's the worst possible time to fuck up every time you allow a sack it's the worst time to allow a sack there are times where you just look at brian kelly and he looks like a man who is on the verge of losing control of things and i don't say that in terms of ooh that team quit on him no i just there's just times

where like, you can't quit on him if you're yelling at him on the sideline. Kyron Lacey. Like at one point earlier in the game. Lacey ran up on him on the sidelines. You see that? Yeah, like at one point there was an offensive lineman who he's looking at and he got caught on camera going like, why you keep fucking doing that? Are you going to be fucking coachable? And he's just tearing into him like Brian Kelly being a dick, but also doing his job, but also being a dick.

But then Kyron Lacey comes up to him with some serious bout that in his step yelling at Brian Kelly. His eyes got real big. Oh, yeah, no, he hit that, like, oh, Kyron, Kyron, Kyrn, baby. Come on, be reasonable. I send your family Christmas cards. Yeah, he backed down, looks scared real fast. And I think that's genuine. I don't know if he was.

Now, it's Brian Kelly, he'd probably see something like, who are you going to believe me or your whore sister? I don't know if Lacey has a sister. That just seems like something Brian would say. Also, if one of his players hasn't swung on him yet, what are you waiting for? I don't think we're making this. No jury in LSU, no jury in Louisiana will convict you. I was watching tonight, and I was like,

somebody, somebody pretty high up in LSU, put down their tumbler full of airplane fuel and scotch and was like, we got to kill that, man. Also, thank you to Jared, a longtime listener, Jared, who has been holding up pantone cards next to screencaps of Brian Kelly's face. I believe he reached Dianthus tonight. LSU had 42 minutes time of possession and lost by two scores.

Jason, can you say that again? I can't remember the last time that I have seen that. But, like, LSU, you're a service academy now. Like, no offense to Army. Like, you're, you're like Air Force. No, Air Force won today, sorry. You're like the shitty Coast Guard. Cajun, Cajun.

Like, you're really bad at guarding the coast and the ball. damn they ran 92 plays swamp guard there we go god damn except we got the Cajun navy for that and they're actually good at it 92 plays and 16 points uh-huh uh-huh you want to how many times Florida ran the ball 17 Florida Florida only Oh my God Florida only got off Oh sorry correction from Joey You can tell them apart

Because Coast Guard won today Florida ran 43 plays man Forty three plays Made him count That classically efficient Florida Gators offense How dumb do you look LSU allowing us to say things like that.

Yeah, you got two Florida fans here, and we're like, that was bad, dude. I think a kindness was done today, though, because I think there were two major kindnesses done today, frankly. I think Florida beating LSU, and to a much larger extent, frankly, South Carolina beating Mizzou, you're welcome, have helped prevent, rather, teams I don't want to watch. in the playoff somehow sneaking into the playoff i think lsie was probably an edge case to begin with anyway but muzoo was not and like look i i i recognize that there's going to be some team that gets in the playoff that we're all like i don't know about that but like oh it's going to be bama but you know what i think i would rather watch bama than either one of these two teams like i think you show your work jalen milrow is more interesting to me than what either of these two teams will do on

offense. Okay, doke. I don't have a lot more than that. Like, I'll be honest, I'd rather South Carolina get in the playoff than either one of LSU. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Let's wrecks the shit.

And, and, and by eliminating that possibility from, like, active discussion, I think that is a real kindness that both of these teams accomplished today. Right. Do you happen, speaking much, do you happen to know which two teams currently sit atop the galactic SEC standings right now? I think it's still Texas and Texas A&M, yes?

Yeah, yeah. That's great. If those guys were rivals, that might be interesting. They do play in two weeks. And although we have made much of Texas having to go through Kentucky before they go to college station,

you know who Aggie has next week? You know where they have to go? Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. Oh, no. Like, if there, if there is, is there any virtue, I, as what I'm asking here, is there any virtue in catching like, Auburn as their chaos wheels are spinning up in preparation for the Iron Bowl? Because we know that Auburn at the Iron Bowl can get real weird. Do we catch them like on the upswing here?

Is there any chance this gets interesting? You know what? Why not? All things are possible. Yeah. It is way, way, way, way, way funnier if A&M and Texas meet at the end of the season with only one loss. I do appreciate the way South Carolina, Missouri ended, which is South Carolina had a 2115 lead with about 11 minutes to go. And then it goes, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown.

Lenora Sellers threw for 353 yards and five touchdowns. Lenore Sellers music is thunderous. Lenore Sellers is a lot of fun. 353 yards and five touchdowns for the air is not his thing. How do we know that? He's doing side quest every week. One week he will be the guy who's like, yeah, I ran for 200 and I passed for 30. Then another one will be like, got, 100 and 100.

And then this week he just decides he's like, you know what I am? Pocket passer. Pocket passer. 353. And five TDs. The fact that South Carolina won this game on a shovel pass where four defenders fucked up making a tackle was pretty delightful. Wait, wait a second. I'm sorry to interrupt.

Yeah. Am I the last one to find out that Stanford beat Louisville? Oh, do you know? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We have things to tell you. Oh, no. Do you know.

Louisville, what'd you do? Do you know how Stanford beat Louisville? I was just scrolling down the schedule. How Stanford beat Louisville is far more delightful. Can I read the sequence of plays directly from the transcript? I was watching Clemson Pitt like a normal person. Please do.

What happened in this ACC conference game? 35, 35 in the. Fourth quarter with 45 seconds to go. Louisville takes over, takes over, okay, with 35 seconds to go and is proceeding down the field. First and 10, with 19 seconds left and the fucking ball. Louisville passes incomplete. Okay, cool, cool. Wait, wait, wait, where are they on the field?

I'm sorry, at the Stanford 45. Okay, okay. They're at the Stanford 45. It is 35, 35, and there are 19 seconds left on the clock. Okay, okay. So I want to be clear. At this point, I don't think they're doing anything unreasonable. Okay.

The game is tied. They would like to attempt a field goal to end it in regulation. They have already fucked up pretty badly because they led this game. They allowed two late Stanford touchdowns to put Stanford back in this game. but please, go ahead. This is fun. We should do this every week. Second and 10 at the Stanford 45.

Tyler Schiff, incomplete pass. 18 seconds left after that. Third and 10. Third and 10 at the Stanford 45. We are tied 35, 35 at this point. Tyler Shuff pass incomplete. Okay, it's fourth and ten. It's fourth and ten.

There are 11 seconds left in the game. Again, the game is tied. What do you do, Ryan, Annie? I probably don't do what Louisville did. I can understand the decision of like we would like to throw a pass, but I think it has to take more time off the clock than one second. Fourth and ten, they pass, Ryan.

Right. Leaving 11 seconds on the clock and the ball on the 45 of Stanford. Turnover and down. Okay. But, but, but. All right. We're not done. We're not done.

What harm could possibly. befall them at this point. What? Yeah, indeed. What harm could? I'm still not seeing the vision. Okay. Okay. First and ten at the Stanford 45. With four goddamn seconds left. And the score is what? 3535. Uh-huh. Ashton Daniels pass complete to Emmett Mosley, the fifth for a one yard to Louisville 46 for a first down over what? How did they get a first down off of a one-yard pass? I think I think that. That is a misprint. Is it?

Yes, because they were at the 45, and if they got to the Louisville 46, it can't be a one-year. Okay, yeah. So we went, we went further than that. But still, but still, they got, let's say they got to the 4th, the Louisville 46 yard. Uh-huh. You know what would really help them? A 15-yard unsportsman-like conduct penalty. Right.

It takes them to the Louisville 39, which they get. So maybe, actually, maybe they did get one yard, and it was just to the Stanford 46. I think that's actually what happened. Okay, okay Ashton Daniels did what he had to do to win this game He threw the ball one fucking yard All right, so Holly Stanford is at the Louisville

39 yard line with one second left Man, that's an awfully long fucking kick, isn't it? This is fun we should do this every week I should just not watch games anymore And y'all can just tell me what happened Don't worry Louisville had more help to offer Oh good They jumped off sides and gave them five more yards

And then with no fucking time left on the clock. Stanford's Emmett Kenny kicked a 52-yard field goal to win the game for Stanford. Christ almighty. Here's the most important thing. With this, their second

ACC win, Stanford ensures that it will finish above Florida State in the conference standings no matter what. There it is. Made it bring it home, Ryan. We are all Unfortunately, rooting for Cal when Cal plays Stanford because Cal still needs... Unfortunately, hell.

Well, just in light of being happy for Stanford right this minute. See, the great thing about finding this out now is that I didn't have to root for Stanford while it was happening. This is ideal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, the long... That was a 52-yard field goal that Emmett Kenny buried.

The previous long this year for Emmett Kenny was 51. Yeah So this would be more It would be more Yeah That would be That would be more Hey

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Yeah, because Guizu and New Mexico are... A baton, Bronco Mendenhalls, Batlin, New Mexico, Meximelts are fighting tied 2828 with John Matier is still, like, throwing dimes. Let's give him that. Oh, he has 283 yards right now, and it is the end of the third. Hey, you know who else is tied, Ryan? BYU and Kansas sure are. Yeah, just like we drew it up. Yeah.

Oh, gosh, look, BYU is playing worse than it should. I can't imagine how this will possibly resolve. It will be interesting to see who will win. Oh, look, the college football Kansas City Chiefs are at it again. I think it's cool that BYU has a humiliation kink, okay? I think that's fine. Also an edging kink. I don't know how this is all happening at once, but yeah.

I think it's saving it for marriage, and the marriage is the final 30 seconds. And UNLV, at least at halftime, is handily beating San Diego State. Although this is your regular reminder that even though UNLV is 7 and 2, they are not in the driver's seat for the Mountain West Championship game, along with Boise State. That would be Jason's Colorado State team. You're goddamn right, 2410 over Wyoming Friday night. Another easy one.

Another easy one for our boys. Braden Fowler, Nicolosi, say his name to the TMNT theme song because he threw a critical touchdown. Critical support and TMNT song singing too. Our guy. Five and O in conference, seven and three overall. When Boise was briefly struggling today with San Jose State, I was like, oh man, the thought entered my head.

This is bad for Colorado State's resume. What an extraordinary time we live in to let sentences like that just not only take form, but have meaning. We do have one sad piece of Group of Five News to report. The dream... Is it ULM? I thought we already got that. No, it's not that one. This one comes from the American Athletic Conference.

The dream of the Navy Army AAC Conference Championship game, which would... God damn, what happened there? What happened is Tulane. Tulane fucking destroyed Navy, 35-Z. zero and two lane said one way bitch yeah and punch their ticket to the aAC championship game where they will face rv army two lane nine and two they will face rb they will face arb they will face arb army does have the meets army has to have the meets yeah um yeah they they held navy to a hundred and thirteen offensive yards goodness which is not enough if you can do that if you could do

to Navy. That's a decent sign. Wait, wait, wait. Look at this box score. Okay, sure. Where do you want to start? How many yards of offense do you imagine Tulane has gotten? I know that

number, but you can anybody else is welcome to throw a guess out here. 35-0-0-0-1. How many yards of total offense do you think Tulane had and how many do you think Navy had. I bet Navy had

420 and Tulane had like 250. This is, this is scarily tidy. 35, this is the reason I looked at it. 35 points 358 yards. Yeah. Yeah. Like one to one. Wild.

Yep. Rant, Tulane ran for 120 more yards than Navy did. Yep, just like, I think. Navy, 113 yards of offense for Navy, by the way. Yeah. not again John Sumerall

that's the ball coach he went to Costco I'm sorry no he went to Sam's club they got programmed and he bought exactly as many points in yards as needed

he's like kids don't don't take any extra no I gotta tell you I think this is more than he needed I think 35 zero it seems like a few extra I think it's more you buy the size

that is the best value and you're going to end up with some extra and well they're going to go bad if we don't serve them up so kids we're having a we're having a tuna fish party put pudding's good for you kids we're all eating tuna fish for the next three hours or else are we making him our uh our our brinkie solo dad of the week john somerall that's the award he gets sure kids hey georgia tech mercifully off this

week hey spencer can we stay in the g5 for a second did something real weird happen uh in uab's game against Memphis? Yes, yes. The fates conspired to give us a special treat. That's right. Flo is the UAB grad. I guess I should point this out. Mm-hmm.

And, you know, don't say Trent Dilfer never did anything for you. Because on the way to a 5318 loss to the Memphis Tigers. Atropos went to offer. We know that. I swear it wasn't this bad early. It wasn't.

They were at 11-0 for a long time. time. Okay. But at one point, it was 2811 Memphis. Huh. That's peculiar. That's right. That means both teams were sitting on 11 at one point, which means we had the elusive, the rare, the remarkable double 11er. Both teams sitting on college football's strangest score number that isn't like two zero. Okay. But that's not just it. Memphis scored 28 in the fourth quarter. Which I really would love it if you would go to ESPN's scoreboard and look at the still image that they have for UAB's highlights from this game, which is their quarterback holding his hand in his head in his hands like he had just died. Like it's bad. Important question from the chat.

that is near to my heart. Did UAB in Memphis just recently start playing for a trophy made of bronze ribs? No. The Battle for the Bones is actually originally a basketball rivalry. This began in 84. I want to say the football rivalry began when in the late 90s. And my favorite thing about this rivalry, especially now that it has been resurrected, is that for a length of time,

and one of these days, I will write a true crime novel about it. The Battle of the Bones Trophy, which is, yes, a bronze rack of ribs was lost. It's a real Carmen San Diego shit. Yeah, I want to know about the adventures

that it had. Gubs you, you have to find the lost Memphis golden bones. Anyway, I covered the very, the reason I know this is I covered the very last game of this rivalry on the football field before last season. which was in 2012. And at some point in the intervening 12 years,

they had actually just lost the trophy. And it's huge if you've seen it on screen. So I feel like there's a story there. Maybe we'll go find out in the off season. For extra fun, go look up the time in the UAB Memphis rivalry and basketball when a Memphis player slapped a UAB fan in the face on the way out of the court. And there's a photo of it of a basketball. all player size hand, i.e.

Like, it looks like it's like a foot and a half long, draped across the face of this Yehu. This was early EDSPS, right? This is like 08. Yeah. I think. And, uh, yeah, slapping like the whole, the whole thing landing like a salmon across his face.

I think I covered this back when we were like still on WordPress. Yeah. Oh, what a time. Anyway, it is an, it is an intense rivalry for reasons that don't always have anything to do with sports. but it's a great one. And it's absolutely, unequivocally, the best trophy there is. Holly, you mentioned Clemson and Pitt.

Yeah. There are at least three things I would like to talk about in this game. Uh-huh. But is it the wheels on Cade Clubnik? Let's start with the wheels on Cade Clubnik. Let's just start with Cade Clubnik, taking the, this is stolen Valor from Georgia. by the way, taking the noted downhill scrambling threat mantle for himself this year.

Kade Klobnik's scores, what is a 50-yard? A 50-yard run to, that ends up being the game-winning touchdown. If you subtract Kade Klobnik's game-winning run from Clemson's rushing yards on the day, which includes sacks, how many yards did Clemson run for against Pitt? I know this one, and I will sit this one out. No, Holly, you can say it. It's okay. How many yards did Clemson run for if I take the 50-out?

The 50-yard run. Clemson that just beat Pitt 24 to 20. Ryan, that would be eight. They ran for eight yards. Eight of them. And then King Clemson said, God will not be stopped. To make matters more hurtful for Clemson,

Pitt ran for 88 yards, which is a number dear to Clemson's heart. Oh, boy. Wow That is one of three things I wanted to talk about in this game The other one of the other ones I should say Riffs are having a real year Like between

The Texas Georgia Refes That were like All right We have been swayed We have been moved by your trash To re-evaluate our decisions I heard a phrase in this game

where the refs missed a very obvious, I don't know if he would call it face mask, hands to the face, roughing the passers, something, where Clemson Defender basically like slaps, pits quarterback in the face,

in the face mask area, just straight on. Hit him with like the soft part of the underside of his forearm. Right, right. Like a toddler swiping at your face because he wants to eat something you have. went completely uncalled and we proceed we we seem to proceed but there was a stoppage in play for i don't know why and the ref got on the microphone and said the following after further conversation

that's not a thing we have we have review in college football and that's a thing conversation is not a thing in college football i get i i went down to i went down to the algonquin hotel and sat down with Walter Bennett and Dorothy Parker. And after a few martinis, we decided not a penalty. After Salon, we decided it was just like, it was just, I mean, look, that said, this is the same crew that missed a false start on the goal line. That was part of, all right, let's go ahead and start this. Jesus Christ.

Near the beginning of the fourth quarter, I'm just going to tell you what happens. It's not so tired. It's, I mean, this makes, it's not as bad as what Louisville did, honestly, but it's still pretty stupid. Okay. Near the beginning of the fourth quarter, with, I believe, Clemson leading by seven. Yes, that looks, no, Clemson Leaning by 10. Pitt has the ball, and Pitt successfully gets down to the Clemson 2 after completing a 19-yard pass. They call time out because I think they're in danger of a delay of game penalty.

Then they run for a loss of one yard. Then they pass for another two yards. Then they call time out again. So it's third and goal at the Clemson one. They run up the middle unsuccessfully, but there's a penalty before the snap, illegal formation. that pushes them back to the six is still third and goal then there's delay of game that pushes them back to the 11 it's still third and then they have a false start and I should point out that I believe it's that third and goal it's the it's the one where they got the illegal formation uh oh no it's the run for a loss of one yard that's the one where they the false start wasn't called so they now have third and goal from the Clemson 16 where they're quarterback throws just like throws a pass that has no chance of getting anywhere near caught in bounds and on fourth and goal from the clemson 16 yard line something truly shocking happened

after this incredible array of buffoonery and inability to just like get a play started clumson uh pit rather sorry actually made the field goal because this felt like it was going to clang the hardest any field goal has ever clanked off a crossbar but instead they just made it it was great it was really great to watch pit fans were booing so loudly watching their team get first and goal at the two and wind up not through even like interesting penalties like oh a holding that kept a play alive or offensive pass interference or some shit just delay of game and false start and formation penalties end up kicking a 35-yard field goal. Did they lose this game by the four points that are the difference between that field goal

and a touchdown? Reader they did. No. Reader they did. You know when we knew this was all going to go sideways? When? Pre-game when there were all of those pigeons on the field. Bird infiltrators.

You know, they really should have taken a lesson from Stanford and just thrown for one yard to win the game. That is not where I thought you were going with the second half of that, and I thought we were going to have to explain some things. Like, I am so glad that we are pit. It should have taken a leave from Stanford's book and reditioned everybody to a CIA black site. That would have worked, too.

I'm glad that we are pit fans from the safer move that we are, because if you do this all the time, your body is so tired. Oh, you'd find me in my basement like HP Lovecraft eating chips off the wall. What kind of chips? Paint ones, mostly. Oh, you mean wall candy? Are you going to eat Doritos off the wall?

Yeah. Hey, wait, that's a good idea. Hold on, patent that. What if you cover your wall in delicious chips? This is Doritos domestic. In case you need a little snack. That's right. He's been eating, yeah, he's been eating paint chips.

That's bad. They're Doritos. That's good. Why do you think houses are called ranch houses? Oh, my God. Holy shit. It is a cool ranch. You're right.

Have we talked about Oregon? No. We're about to. Was this a strange day? Was this just like a strange day wall to wall? Is that the theme that's emerging? There was a lot of like near miss type shit. And this was probably the biggest example.

It's like I feel like we're wandering from team to team going like, son, are you lost? Where are your parents? Yeah. Yeah. It was a bit of a, there was a lost weekend vibe, I think, at several turns. There was not a lot of... Lost weekend. Not a lot of sobriety in these teams.

Oregon, I watched a little bit of this game, and it really did just look like Wisconsin played a really good game defensively. That happened sometimes. They played a pretty good game defensively for a good stretch against Penn State, I want to say. Yeah. Because it wasn't like they forced a lot of turnovers or anything. It's just, nah, they made them work for it, you know. A lot of what Oregon does is throw short to run long. They do a lot of short passing and integrate that as like an extension of the run game,

as the announcer is fond of saying. And that's real. And if you tackle it, they don't go very far. That happens pretty frequently if you manage to do that. I mean, I would say 96 yards on 28 passing attempts is indeed throwing short. Oh, Wisconsin did that too, Ryan. Oregon's fond of doing it as a base play. Wisconsin does it because they have to.

Wisconsin, it's not a choice so much as a... It's not really. This is what was in the cupboard when we opened it up. I thought of every traumatized old Miss fan when I saw the touchdown that Wisconsin got fair and square to go ahead and take it to 13. What would have been a 10-point lead. Right, what would have been a 10-point lead when they threw it, they threw it out of a diamond formation that's four wide receivers in the little diamond

formation on the side and they threw it even though they only had one yard to go they threw it and i was like oh god phil longo i hate you so much oh my god just fuck like like even like josh hepled didn't have a great night but you know what he did when they had like an inch to go on the goal line they basically ran fullback dive with a tight end that's right just do that shit i've been begging for them to run that back and like get some travel get a little Travis Stevens going for weeks and now that they've done it it was glorious and the O line who got in the gap for the uh I keep calling the fullback it's not the fullback uh the O line who got in the gap almost went over the pile himself and now I need them to never do it again that's

right don't ever do it again but it was glorious and it's like a player it's like a player doing a backflip in the end zone like all that was six stop it yeah that was that was all they needed to do and Phil Long goes like nope five wide throw it to the four Throw it, throw it one yard. God damn it, Phil Longo. Hey, real quick, speaking of incipient heartburn, uh, 440 left in the fourth and New Mexico's up 31, 28. Our beautiful John Mateer, no.

Oh, listen, there's 440 left in that game. John Mateer's got time to score three TDs. For whom, though? Great question. No one knows. I kind of knew Wisconsin was cooked when they got the ball back after holding Oregon into the field that ended up being

the final margin of victory. They got the ball back with 236 to go and the first thing they did after a touchback was get called for a

delay of game and it's just like oh yeah okay cool you're not feeling it today I get that relatable yeah you know who was feeling it

Colorado I know it's Utah and it's basically like a headless Utah with tons of injuries and no real skill players on offense but they're 8 and 2

they're 6 of 1 the Big 12 and they could have a buy I thought you were calling Colorado a headless Utah and then I thought immediately that oh he must mean in terms of the shape of the state because kind of. Yeah, I think so.

They're kind of a torso of a state. They're one of them torso states. You realize Utah is shaped like Anakin Skywalker at the end of the third Star Wars prequel. Yeah, very pixelated. Would Colorado get a buy at this point? If they win the

at this point, but if they beat by BYU, yeah. If they be undefeated BYU, too. Yeah, if they, if they, if they, I mean, if they win the Big 12, they get a buy. Yeah. Well, not automatically. Not automatically. Not automatically, as long as they're ahead of Boise State. Right. And I'm not

I guess that, I guess they probably, you're right, they probably would be. Yeah. I mean, if Colorado wins out, yeah. Okay. Let's talk about Arizona State. Very briefly. What happened there? power is what happened. They looked like they were having fun. Yeah. They were mad as fuck.

Yeah, night night to Kansas State. Yeah. If they have to rely on average, they threw like all I need to do to give you the proper perspective on Kansas State is this. How many times did Avery Johnson throw the ball? If they ran the ball like 65 times, Kansas State wins by 40. They threw the ball 40 times because they had to. They lost by 10. That's that's not good for them. But hey, cam scataboo continuing to prove he didn't even have that great of a game he didn't no he didn't but you know what great attitude midriff shirt and uh animal masculinity that's not take if you're allergic to scataboo yeah that's what cam scataboo brings to the party and that's all they needed motherfucker and they get and they host they host bYU next that'll be fun side effects include dizziness nausea unquenchable bloodlust unquenchable wait wait really unquenchable or just we'll find out won't we yes that's true yeah um if you're still here it's not over there's yeah there's a lot there's a lot

on this list that's just like yep that was easy Notre Dame forced five turnovers against Virginia cool taking out some real law school rankings angst in that game Arkansas did look like for a little bit like it was going to get frisky link. It was so, it was tantalizing. Yeah. And they were tackling so hard. Something did happen at a game where. Quinn Ewers is beeping like, like link with two hearts at this point.

I'm not, I'm not feeling real confident about him. Yeah, he's missing a lot of downfield balls because I think stuff hurts, you know. And his Dr. Pepper ads about how he doesn't need a backup are still running during this game. Yeah. They're getting a little weird. fun. Syracuse won and that's really good because it means that Fran Brown can take a shower because winters get clean. Winners get washed, I believe, is the expression because he did say he doesn't shower after losses and they won today. So congratulations to Fran Brown and anybody

who has to be near him. Never, never take the Kent State job. Fran Brown, never do it. You'll be like pig pet in a month. You'll be like your Sim who dies from filth, right? Oh, roll him, plow him. That smells so bad. Nobody came to his funeral because he smelled so bad. He no longer has three girlfriends and two boyfriends. Even Dracula won't fuck him.

It's true, I have standards. Speaking of nobody will fuck you, or everyone just fucked you. Nebraska, goddamn, dude. Oh, man. Oh, that one hurt. USC starting a new quarterback at the Jaden Maiva era underway through a nasty pick, and I'm like, yeah, Nebraska, you're going to get bowl eligible. You're going to get bowl eligible.

Nebraska did not get bowl eligible. Did not. Holy shit, John Matier. The chat is just far enough ahead of YouTube TV to where I see people yelling about John Mateer and I can look up and then it happens right in front of me on the television which is how that works I will I will say watching

watching very briefly Nebraska USC my wife caught a glimpse of data on the sideline and said like he used to look better than that and I said I really don't think you did actually No, a hard disagree. Maybe like 30 years ago? Yeah, sure. Maybe he's a seven-year-old.

Oh, no, that man was dangerous at 35, and at 45? I think he was probably born weathered. He's pre-distressed, like, furniture you buy at Kirkland Hall. Sure, like the characters in the Cheers intro, where you're like, that man is 12. Yeah, my mom carries the shabby sheet, Gene. that man went from looking dangerous at 35 to in danger at 45 UMass almost beat Liberty but they forgot to make an extra point they were ahead for a lot of that game were ahead for a lot of that time they missed a field

gold near the end of the game and they fucked up their extra point in overtime so congratulations Liberty barely escaping UMass it was a plan it was a brutal special team situation there at the end that Nebraska's lost four and a row, man. Yeah. With Wisconsin, which is evidently just as good as Oregon, and then a trip to Iowa up next. They really might not make it.

Didn't we, didn't, like, Nebraska and Wisconsin find themselves in almost this exact same situation last year? Probably every year. Who could say? I have faith. I have faith in. You believe in the Huskers? I believe that they're going to win one.

It was rough during the Wisconsin Oregon game when they were like, let's look back at previous matchup of these two teams. And it's like, the Rose Bowl. ball and Wisconsin's like oh man don't bring that up we're just trying to get to six wins dude be cool they'll get there I have faith okay there's still America's team that's the Nebraska's team yeah they were the channel six America's team for 20 24 25 you know what the people's team means carries a wide spectrum of meaning sure yeah I mean it's not necessarily complimentary Sometimes we get the team that we as a nation deserve.

Sure. We're also being told that the BYU mascot just got clipped by a golf cart while doing a backflip. I mean, like, I hope he's okay. I hope he's okay. The BYUu mascot goes hard. Cosmo's going to dance his way out of this. If you've ever seen Cosmo dance, yeah. Like, hasn't Cosmo been lit on fire at one point?

That's a lot of padding. You're going to land on a lot of padding. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. At least on your head. I think America and Nebraska, you know, let's use bowl season as the metaphor, both have been out of it for like eight years. Mm-hmm. God, I wish I was out of it.

I am excited to report that SMU remains undefeated in ACCC play. This shit is easy. Look how easy it is. Should have done this like 30 years ago. The only thing standing between SMU and an undefeated. regular season in ACC play Virginia and Cal

that's it and then I guess Miami will have to hope that South Carolina beats Clemson I don't know how that works this is all so fucking stupid it's great

that's true South Carolina's in the ACC I know I think I think that because Clemson and Miami don't play each other that's what they mean

I'm saying you're right I'm saying effectively South Carolina is home returned it's what we all know is right It's what feels right, yeah. Yeah.

It was this kind of day. It was overall this kind of day where you go, I'm watching Colorado and Utah play a game at 10 in the morning their time. And Isaac Wilson, God bless him, drops back, and Gus Johnson sells it with, Wilson, back to pass. And it's three yards, three yards to Micah Bernard. My favorite Gus call of the day was when, for whatever reason, they were showing photos of Joel Klaat as a college quarterback, and Gus said, Joe, you were a fat little boy, weren't you? By which you meant Joel was like 2.30 or something like that? What are you now? Like 180?

Now I just want Gus's Willy Wonka prashing these kids up and down. Mike TV, your parents don't love you, do they? Verucasalt, you're adopted. Also, I forget if we've discussed this before, but Augustus's whole name, do we know his first and middle name? Is he in Augustus? He's in Augustus Cornelius. I hope they got this man in Gladiator, too.

That's a number of emperors. He had to talk like this. That much name? strength and honor a good guy not a bad dude ride ho and he gets your country ass in here

I'm watching footage of the Cosmo incident by the way he was trying to do can you be more specific he was the one where he ran into a golf cart he really did the golf cart was supposed when you say the Cosmo incident he was supposed to flip back flip over the golf cart and the golf cart

He clips the back corner of the golf cart's roof, but Cosmo himself on his official account said, I'm just glad my head stayed on this time, and he's fine. Okay. Yeah. Love it. Cosmo was fine. Thank you for letting us know, Cosmo, if your head stayed on.

Hey, hey, man, you know who else is fine and improving? Gamecox, Steve. Shouts out to GameCock, Steve, long-time friend of the program. He is improving. He's improving. Last I heard, thanks to his daughter, Stephanie Smith. Gamecock, Steve, if you'll know, was the guy who I said to be watching South Carolina football for 30 years and was thus 35 and looked like he's 75. Anyway, long internet joke, actual guy, now kind of a minor celebrity in the Gamecock universe.

I say minor because as long as, as long as Darius Rucker exists, we're all minor celebrities in the Gamecock universe. verse but yes he's feeling better so respect love get better game cock steve hang in there steve we kick the shit out of coach snosberries just for you yeah you got to watch listen you got to stick around to see what quarterback lenora sellers decides to be next if he's going to like do the vince young 200 and 200 next uh if he's going to hit us with some bow nick shit where he's like yeah average 3.2 yards per pass he really is like he really is like choose your fighter and and is like picking a different quarterback to just embody everlasting cobstopper you know we said about do we said this about south carolina at the beginning of the year and it has not proven untrue yet you do not

get down late to a team that has a punt returner named juju you can't fight that it's true it's bad magic it's true i would i would like to i know we're i know we're not talking about it very much I would like to acknowledge that Georgia's punter put it had a great tackled tonight. Oh, that punter is early. He like like this this I this almost felt less ignominious than getting tackled by a punter normally. Yes. Yes. He's and he's played Aussie rules and he he he embraced it with a level of enthusiasm that you don't normally see on punter tackles. But once you know he's.

Australian and it completely makes sense. So I just want to, I do want to tip the hat to that. That was a delightful moment. He also did a double tackle like he tackled him. And then he kind of dropped him again. Stay down! Well, that's very much an Aussie rules thing. Right. Right. Yeah, he

kind of, you really just need to look up the clip of this. It's a really funny move. So the, have you all seen the video of Cosmo flipping over the golf cart? Yes. At this time, yes. I just saw it. It's incredible. He very nearly clear. said. Chat, we are not calling the Georgia's punter fat. He is a big dude and not as in the way big dude has become a euphemism for fat guy touchdown, but he's he looks like an Aussie rules footballer. Brett Thorson. He's 6-2-235. Like he could probably, I was going to say he could probably play D-Line in the G-5.

No, lineback aside. Yeah, that's a strong dude. Also being an Australian rules player who is taking an American football. scholarship, I assume, 37, four kids. Got a wife named Sheila. Spencer. Let him do his voices. It's important. Catha. Oh, chat, you have picked a terrible time to ask for, and I'm quoting here, a score update, vibe

update for Kansas, BYU. Go on. Well, depending on who you ask, I don't know that I need BYU to keep winning this way It doesn't matter Ryan Oh I was I was inferring that the person who was asking was a BYU Oh I see I see Like I'm not opposed to them continuing to win this way

But I don't Anyway Kansas just went up 1713 It is two minutes into the fourth quarter And New Mexico is at the Wazoo 7 With 38 seconds to go Cool What a weird day Everything's fine

Everything's great Ohio State won by 24 Which I'm sure It was horrifying for Ohio State fans everywhere Oh yeah they ended the first quarter Zero zero So there was a briefly Fire Ryan Day into the sun again

Northwestern was winning at one point In the baseball stadium So New Mexico is driving There's just a few seconds left I'm kind of Like this point where we all got well you know We've all gotten quiet And turn to watch New Mexico

So almost in reverence. Put John Mateer in the secondary. That's what you need to do. That's the only solution. Swat it. Swat it down. Put me in. UNLV has 35 points on San Diego State,

and it's not even halfway through the third. That's pretty good. You kind of forgot. You're like, a little UNLV boomlet. They lose a couple of games. Oh, shit, shit, hey, we said this. we we posted this earlier tonight but i have one more important point to address from the georgia game by who's right like i don't recruiting is complicated you know it involves family

dynamics and geography and culture and i don't want to you know it's it's hard to just point and say you're doing it wrong but by whose authority does a kid named nitro tuggle play for georgia and not south carolina what happened that is a south what happened there maybe the transfer portal will write this wrong huh i mean ideally coastal carolina but clearly he he's he's too good he's he's too good i think to go quite down that far i think coastal carolina may be his mothership because again his name is nitro tuggle i'm assuming that his monarch if you're you tried to monogram his name, it would just spell out WCW, no matter what you try to put in for his actual initials.

I feel like this is a subcategory of Georgia name, however, because like they got a champ and a boss, for instance. So like it, there is a, there is a little bit of crossover here. Oh, this is my favorite trivia for the chat, and I have to do it every time it comes up. Do you all know the name of the third boss, or the third Bailey brother? I know Spencer knows. Yeah, there's champ, there's boss. Do you know the third one?

I don't remember it. Ron. Yeah. I remember it. It's a combo breaker. The most terrifying Bailey of all. Ron. That's like the guy, like the Mujan family of Cincinnati, who had one brother named Silverberry, Mujan.

And then. Whose brothers is named Kevin? His brother, Kevin. These are my sons, Kevin and Silverberry. That always smacks of like. one parent got to pick one name and dad got to pick one name and either mom or dad spent a whole lot of time on a commune oh dear john meteer's got a 20 21 seconds 21 seconds to do something here he can do it i know he can do he can do something he could do a lot of stuff surprising

amount of new mexico fans in the chat do you know how long brian kelly's contract runs through oh god i bet it's bad it's like 10 years years, isn't it? 2031. Yeah. That's a number that like the government doesn't even plan on being around for, right? They're like, not in Louisiana, certainly. That's one of those numbers that like.

I could think of a number of businesses right now that I don't think are going to exist in 2031. Oklahoma and Washington have scheduled a non-conference game for 2031, you know, and we're all like, oh, who cares, I'll forget about it. You're like, I'll be dead. It's fine. You guys think we'll even have podcasts in 20131? I mean, we'll see. will be here.

I hope not. I hope. But I could think of a number of other podcasts that I don't think we'll be here. I hope we have turned into by that point a direct-to-consumer telegraph operation where you I think we're going to. And mutual aid. We're going to do like a Columbia House Records thing, but with podcasts. Yeah.

We'll just be doing mixtapes. You give us one cent. We send you 10 episodes. You get 10 episodes and Natalie and Brugley is torn for some reason? What a great deal. What a fucking deal? Basically, we are charging you $9.99 for the Natalie. And then the discount is you having to endure us.

That's a business plan. It's fun to have a business plan. There's costs everywhere. As a sports podcast. You just pay us one penny. And then two years later, you will owe us $7,000 and you'll have no idea how it happened. We'll be like, that's the magic of full cast house records. And then you just say like, oh, it didn't count.

I was 17. Even if you're not 17, that's all you have to say. That's what L's you should do. Brian Kelly. None of these losses count. I was 14 when I signed that contract with Brian Kelly. It's not legal. Oh, my God.

Speaking of contracts that aren't legal. I am still floored at like, can we, I want to take it beyond Brian Kelly because we all know that like Brian Kelly sucks. Well, yeah, that's easy because he's very short. sounds like the worst Nova special ever. Beyond Brian Kelly makes it sound like a version of Brian Kelly that you can eat that's not made of

animal parts. It's the Brian Kelly set in like 2232. Although man, can we grow? Oh, no. What if we grew a Brian? It's lab grown Brian Kelly without any of the aggression. Brian Kelly, 29. Half cyborg.

It's the worst Bethesda video game ever made. That's an activate card. what's it do though just gets it just gets mad it just kind of vibrates and turns fuchsia that's it's all it's all sound card yeah but it wasn't just brian kelly like their ad sucks too like scott what i know i know what we said this like wait wait once again i have to ask you to stop besmirching the man who hired brian kelly and kim mokey in the same year but big guy was like hey i'm looking for a splash, I'll steal Notre Dame's coach, which is the most 1982 crime and AD could commit.

You know how we said John Mateer had time? It's midfield Mateer Hail Mary time. He's there. He's there. Listen, Mark Emerit used to be the AD at LSU. It's not necessarily a place for awesome dudes. Can I read you a current actual ESPN headline? I would love that. Kelly yells at LSU player comma, gets yelled at by other.

that's accurate thanks ESPM that like no that's great you can't cut Brian Kelly funds you will regret this oh I think we can cut Brian Kelly funds no they actually can't right now that's the problem God wasn't it nice listen not to defend your dipshit governor wasn't it nicer when you were all mad about the fake tiger and not the fake offense Wasn't that much better? I want to be clear, if you're listening to this and thinking, wow, they're really being mean to LSU and LSU leadership and Brian Kelly, this is but a fraction of what actual LSU fans we know are saying. Yeah, Tiger Droppings was locked for a minute tonight. So there was a, there's this documentary about, yes, Huey Long, the one where it starts with, everyone loved him. And then there was a woman very calmly saying, every Saturday night, I couldn't remember a Saturday night where. we didn't go out and think about, talk about killing Huey Long. Replace the words Huey Long with Brian Kelly right now.

I wasn't joking. LSU fans are like, I'll take care of it. And this lady is also talking like she's on a phonograph. Yeah. Now for a Saturday, it passed. Did he do it? He's got three seconds. Yeah, we can't end the show yet.

Sorry, you're going to wait through this. We're all going to see what John Mateer did. That's right. Brian Kelly. Charlie Bucket. Grandpa Joe You stole 50 lifting drinks Augustus Gloop

Hey, I'm an Augustus too Oh you see there Gush? Violet's turning violent Gus That's what you got to avoid That's right Your grandparents sleep is kind of fucked up Laundry soup

That's listen That whole sleeping thing. Every time I thought somebody goes, that beloved childhood classic, I'm like, do you mean the ones where everyone slept in one weird bed? Roll wave, that's a great point. None of those kids was coachable. None of the kids, that's the problem

with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. None of those kids was coachable. No one in that movie's like, did we just kill someone back there? Does it matter? Our mission is. Listen, man, it was Britain in what, the 70s, let's say?

oh man i want to watch the original witch's movie with gus johnson i think carelessly i think carelessly killing kids is a matter of policy was more of a thatcher thing i think i think i think wazoo has fallen oh wazoo's falling oh god dang uba luba doobititney well i think that that puts a button on it because we're not sticking around for kansas b yu you you're going to ride that one out by yourselves y'all but we hope we've given you enough strength to carry on that's right that's right to carry on move forward into the night leaving the dead child in the chocolate tube we're taking the great glass elevator to have you seen seven leaving joel clatt's

big fat body to clog the tube thank you for now imagining gus johnson as the killer from silence of the lambs. Was she a big fat girl? Do you hear of Joel? Are the lambs still screaming? Oh, now we're just populating the entire Thomas Harris world with characters from our universe, and I am so here for this. Can't he? No, incomplete. Would he recognize a note in Dante Allegory's own hand? I think not.

All right, that's it. That's as good as it gets. Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You're forgetting who else Hannibal Lecter quotes in Silence of the Lambs. It's another emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Oh, shit. Of each particular thing ask, what is it in itself?

What is its nature? What does he do this man you seek? It's a powerful lesson about B2B relationships. I don't know how he does this. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want? This has been brought to you by prize picks.

That's right. Tell me, Senator, did you nurse Catherine yourself? Jesus Christ. thank you for joining us here on the full cast after dark you know what i'm gonna remind you know what i'm gonna remind you florida fucking one okay all right yeah that's right that's right why do you think he removes their skin good night