Shutdown Fullcast - Fullcast After Dark: Go Birds And Bird Dogs

Episode Date: October 16, 2022

It’s just Rocky Top playing for an hour and a half straight. The entire episode. No words or anything. Sorry! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm a listener. Okay. Now I have to. Are we all recording locally? Oh, motherfucker. God damn it. Whoa. My phone is at 5%.

God fucking damn it. Okay. The space is open right now, right, Doug? Yes, it is. Okay, all right. Hey, what's up, y'all? You will absolutely not believe this, but we are trying to figure out a technical

solution for an audio situation. No, tell them what's happening. So the briefest way to explain this is that to record this particular version of the forecast, we need our laptops and our phones, and our phones have to be charged for them to work so that we can talk to you on the Twitter. And right after our producer Doug hits Go on the space, and we're all getting ready to log in. Spencer walked into this room with no equipment in either hand, so I just don't work anything.

He left. It just apparated. We all had visual of him walking up the stairs with equipment. Was he robbed? Well, because he kept the laptop on. And, oh, wait, flag, maybe this is come back. Anyway, have we gotten to the punchline yet, which was right as Doug hit goes. Right as Doug hit go.

No, Spencer didn't say my phone's at five percent. He just went, ah, shit. He acted as if like his phone had shocked him. As if something happened. The problem was that it didn't have the charge to do that because it wasn't fun. My first guess was like, oh, Utah did something weird against USC. I thought he dumped something in his keyboard. I thought maybe his headphones, like, crackled and fried or something.

I don't know. I think we all thought it was something beyond. Spencer didn't charge his phone. Oh, shit. My phone jumped from 95 to 5. Oh, shit. They haven't invented a perpetual motion machine yet, and I assume they had. God damn it.

God damn it, electricity exists. We saw him walking up, Jason likened it to a WWE strolling through the office's montage style, and it kind of was this because he was kind of angrily strutting up the stairs to where I am with his laptop and his microphone. But then he showed up in the room where I am with neither of those things. I don't know where they are. Let's be honest about what's happening here. Spencer's trying to take the shine off of Holly's night. That's what he's doing.

It's Holly's night, and everybody knows that. And Spencer just couldn't let that be. Spencer just couldn't let Holly have a good night. Nope, no, he can't because he's a petty bitch. We are over 1,000, and as far as I know, we don't know where Spencer is. I think we should start the show without him. I mean, the rule is once we're over a thousand, we hit it. Holly, who do you want to do the welcome since it's your night?

Oh, God, he's right. And see, now he's here in the room with me. Don't care. So, you know, it's going to suck my time. Or I could just not do this. Hey, yeah, we hear you. Don't, no, no, no, don't you turn around and act like we're being the dickholes? Yeah.

No, yeah, no. So just be clear, Spencer is unprepared for the show and is also unprepared to be made fun of. Thank you, Sean, for the thumbs down. Absolutely. Thumbs down is very affirmed. Why aren't you charging your phone? Well, that's the next step. Go plug your phone in.

What's the next step? Let me share the space first. Start charging your phone now for next week. You can't join the space with your phone. Yeah. What are you going to share it on? We can only be on one phone. That doesn't make sense. Oh, my God.

There we go. All right. This is why Florida's a mess. And Tennessee is not. This is why I wanted to go right after the Bama game. We're over 1,200. We're over 1,200. All right.

Shout it, Spencer. Start yelling. to the full cast after dark for men welcome to the full cast after dark after dark Or maybe more appropriately for tonight Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh As in Rocky Top What did it sound like

When Thomas Edison electrocuted that elephant Make that noise Which end of the elephant The elephant just went God damn it I think all ends Hey

But you know what Thomas Edison Remembered to plug the elephant in Unlike Spencer and his phone Unlike Alabama. Oh. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense.

Who didn't plug the elephant in? That doesn't make sense. It's a reach. It's a reach, but we'll allow it. It's a misdirection is what it is. I'm going to be very clear about my emotional terms at all points tonight. Healthy communication. Like, no, I was not prepared for the space.

Am I willing to take any flag for it? None. None whatsoever. Do I need to be the focus tonight? No, because Tennessee. For the first time since 2004, beat Alabama. Okay, so we had a little bit of a technological situation that we have now addressed. We can now apply the plan for the opening minute of the show.

The perfect plan. So we're going to talk about Colorado Cal. Do we remember what that? Yes. Folks, you folks at home. Hi, I'm Jason Kirk. The plan was Ryan Nanny is one of the other voices you hear. It's me.

The plan was for the two of us to head fake you by pretending that we were going to talk about Cal Colorado for some amount of time. Colorado no longer winlet. There are no winless teams in FBS. Everyone has a dub. And then Holly Anderson would be introduced. And of course, Holly would talk about the thing that, hey, you are all here to hear and hear Holly talk about. And now the plan has begun. Cal Colorado.

Cal. How did you do this? You stupid assholes. Spencer is visibly sulking. And I just want you guys to be able to see this. I'm trying to follow the plan. Trying to follow the plan. The plan is underway.

We're doing great. I know that if I start down this path, he's going to fuck it up for me somehow. No, no. Holly, what is your best explanation of what happened in Alabama, Tennessee? Okay. I really hesitate to pull this out this early because you know how I feel about it feels like 98 bullshit. And also, why is it? it bad when I say feels like 09 but it's really funny when Lane says make this one and also we expect

more from you than Lane I think is the answer I don't think that's something that you should do Ryan you know me for a very long time I was at that game I spent that game not only in the Bama student section but the 09 game but in the Bama Greek student section for reasons I no longer recall yeah I was right behind the end zone where uh Mount Cody made his eruption and you know, there's a lot of emotions running high, and I've had a few hours to think about it. I've had a few hours to settle down, talk to my family, and I don't know. Like, I don't even know if I want to go there tonight. Like, tonight should be about celebration, right?

It's kind of up to you. Like, I mean, it can be, but you've also had a lot of time to stew and to build up some venom and some some betterness. It's not venom. It's sincere concern especially

I mean just y'all I don't think Nick Saban's the man for this job I won't even laugh Look he won't even laugh at that he's just still over here sulking

that was good he won't even won't even put me over won't even put me over on a saving joke because he's such a cranky bitch about losing sorry if I had lost to Brian Kelly

I would maybe be trying to like bring some joy back into my life but I didn't lose to Brian Kelly I am sitting here watching Utah about to beat USC which to me is comedy don't distract don't distract this is distracting I'm watching

Utah about to be USC why do you want to distract from what happened to Alabama today? No, why would anyone want to distract from the most points that Alabama's ever had scored in a single game total? That's also not right.

No, no, between two teams. I think like... In the last century, I believe. Yeah, since they faced Swanee. Swannie scored 54. Vanderbilt once scored 78, yeah. 1906 when Vandy was awesome. Vanderbilt should have saved like, I don't know, 15 of those points for today,

but that's a separate issue. I guess it wouldn't have mattered. This ruled. That's what I have to say. It was absolutely fucking awesome. What I appreciated about this version of Bama, Tennessee, is that it very evenly distributed the number of times where each side could be like, well, that's it.

That's the thing we fucked up. That's the thing that's going to fucking bite us and kill us. Or, well, that's it. The refs, that's how the refs lose this game for us because they're dicks. Yeah. There was a point where Tennessee fans, a lot of them were on the, oh, Birmingham made the call, right? And Bama was like, I think they had more flags than any Bama game in history.

Bama's like 24 penalties for 170. Those are real numbers, but they're not that far off. No, but this is the third, this is what I'm talking about. This is the third time this season that they've gone over 100 penalties. Yes, yes. It hasn't been fixed. What are they doing? What are they doing during the week?

Nick, what the fuck, man? It's not good. What are you doing? It's extremely not good. It's a real dumb team by Bama standards. Yeah. It's a sloppy team. Like, I was prepared for a lot of things.

I was not prepared for a sloppy Bama team. I'm not. It's weird. Like that are you doing? It's bad for you. The point in the first half when Bama is like clawing its way back from a big deficit and they hold Tennessee for, for a three and out force the punt and then like randomly somebody who's not the punt

returner on bama's like i don't know see ball take ball if ball why not if ball why no right and tennessee recovers it that's like the least bama thing i've seen them do in a long long like that's something that a normal team would do this is the third time that's something miami would do it is week six it is the midpoint of the regular season for these games and that means in half the game so far we have come out of it encouraging bama players to skip practice the following week because although now that it's happened a third time i'm not sure nick's mad at them at all maybe maybe the problem is they've been skipping all the practice have they but should you you guys should maybe go back they're going to have to do it like i promised

i promised last week that i would forge i'm a medical professional and i not a lot of people know that about me i'm a very private person and i promised bama players last week that i would forge doctor's notes for them if they wanted to get out of Nick's eyeline after some of the shit they pulled last week and many of them took me up on that oh here comes Utah 43 USC Utah 43 in their black unies god dang with the musk coming over the wall how woodingham's grown his hair it's like the saint elsewhere point in the season for Kyle Whittingham where he's got like that fairer flow oh we got tears this is great did you notice how Spencer kind of ruined the Bama thing, anything, by any way, by just absolutely no-selling my dick joke.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because he was mad that we made him not listen to it because we knew he was going to ruin it. Because he was mad that we accurately stated the charge level of his phone. Yeah. He is. He was mad that we didn't lie.

If he was half as concerned about being a shitty teammate as he is about being called out, he's a locker room cancer. Wow. Wow. Noted locker room cancer, Spencer Hall. Wow. The coach killer. yep so do except yeah what coach am i killing so far not brian harsen still so far not brian harsson hey does billy napier look like hellboy's handsome brother uh i mean like handsome by hellboy standard

i think i think what you really mean is that he looks like ron perlman but i get what you're saying i really do mean that because as most coach's hairline appears to receive during the season his is growing further down onto his forehead, which does give him kind of a Perlman vibe. Is he the older brother or the younger brother? Oh, we don't recognize David. Like, God love him. We don't recognize David Harbor Hellboy as a canon. I don't feel like

I should even have to mention that. No. Don't bring it up again. But is he younger or older because that was, is he hell taught or Hellman? Anyway, Cal and Colorado. Cal man's a Mayo that we don't recognize on this podcast anyway. I have one more Tennessee question.

If that's okay, Holly, please. Holly, what would, if this exact game had played out the way it played out and you had been there, but let's say it's 20-year-old Tennessee student, Holly. What is she doing the second the clock hit zero? What is her arc?

My tongue is going straight down the throat of my best friend. Okay. We're both very attractive. and then I'm kissing the person on my other side. Wait, is this still taking place in 2022? You can place it wherever you want, yeah. Okay.

How far am I into college? Let's say you're a junior. I'm a junior. Okay. So like MMF threesome is like on the horizon somewhere, right? If you will it, it is no dream. 22 is a year. I move the alamo because I got David,

Rocket and Daniel Boone in here together, but none of us are coming out alive. A lot of tourists here, weird. Sounds like it will be remembered. Oh, look, Santa Ana. Well, I guess I can handle three. Jesus Christ, dude. Thank you. Also, we've got some seriously problematic convictions that we're not even aware we need to work through yet. but we'll get there.

No. We'll get there. Hey, speaking of which, we got another happy Hispanic Heritage Month from CBS during the Tennessee Bama game. It went, Douglas clipped this for us handily. It went from Sylvester Stallone

promoting the NFL playoffs. Yes. Directly into a very quick blurb about the FBI shows on CBS. Back to Brad saying CBS, CBS celebrates Hispanic Heritage Month and then immediately to the game. game. This is just how they're doing it. Do you think they were like maybe people will think Sylvester Stallone is Hispanic? No, because they they broke it up with the FBI, with the FBI problem

between. I have finally come around to Ryan's original idea about what happened here, which is that they had a graphic that was running it behind this that was so incredibly racist that they had to pull it at the 11th hour, but they didn't have time to make anything else. Yeah. but also it's kind of like a BYO line drive by Castellanos situation so maybe maybe in our own way we're we're celebrating the Phillies did they do anything that's not where I expected that to go not that I'm aware of Philadelphia sports are our most stable resource baseball still happening yep still not as of like three minutes ago I wanted to point out one thing one tiny thing about the Tennessee Alabama game. That kicker oh my God Tennessee's

kicker. Tennessee's kicker. Chase McGrath. Chase McGrath. Oh, my God. Well, I relate very strongly too because immediately after this game he was like, nobody touched me. First of all, Chase McGrath also had his uniform on like two hours after the game and when asked about it said, hey man, there's a lot

of stuff going on out there. I would leave my helmet on during that field storming. My God. The second thing I wanted to play. I mean, you saw the refs, right? Yes. Like, there's a lot of jokes about, like, oh, ha, ha, the refs are trying to get out because, you know,

they did a terrible job. And they did. They did do a pretty bad job. There were shitty calls to both. Like, everyone's going to complain about the end zone thing that they, that job Tennessee. But the blatant face mask that Tennessee got away with on the previous possession was, yeah, it was just not a, it was not a pleasantly called game. But when you see the refs run away,

it honestly looks like in a disaster movie when like a wall is breached with water like that's the kind of run oh shit there's a ton of people coming after us fuck we gotta get out of here I don't know if this is the same crew off the top of my head but I will say this about what I say about the Florida game I didn't think it was a particularly um aptly called game on either side but at least they weren't calling tiki tag shit I think that is mostly true yeah like I really I really appreciate them just I think I think especially in this games, refs can get, refs have this, I think, completely misguided notion that if they, if they clamp down really hard on the chippiness in the, on the field,

then it's going to contribute to an overall more professional atmosphere for the game. That's absolutely not true. And so there's, you know, and there's been a couple games that had some shoving in them so far. It happened in Florida and happened in LSU. It happened in night. And so

far, the refs have been kind of just like, okay, just, you know, go back to your corner's kids and nobody has seen the need to insert themselves into the narrative. So I don't think this was a stellar officiating job tonight, but I think it could have been a lot worse. And if I had to pick calling tiki-tack shit over hilarious blown calls that kept swinging the game by themselves, I'll take this one. It was way more fun. Ryan, when was your last field storming? Oh, that you were around. That I was around. Yes. I don't know that I've ever been around one. Okay. That's because Ryan was not with us in Michigan.

So the three, yes, Jason, Holly and I were in Michigan last year for their victory over Ohio State. And when it happens, and I hadn't ever really been on the field for a field storming. I've been in the stands and gone down. But in the stands, in the stands, it's like you are, you are the water. You are in the safer position. Yeah, we were already on the sidelines when this started to happen. So it was more of a field ambling. When you're between the field and the stands, that's the move.

go that way I get it because I hadn't really considered it until we were in that position then I thought well shit we either help people go or we move to the middle there's no other chance we can't go to the side oh shit we got Apple News oh that's already a thing

sorry at disagree sorry Apple News a term of my own invention thank you to at looking up apples a description of the extinct volunteer apple variety from Lee Calhoun's

old southern apples. Congratulations to Tennessee. Y'all finally worked through the damp place and became mellow with a musky flavor. I'm going to read this description now. Originated before 1898 in East Tennessee when the tree was found when some woods were cleared. The tree bears heavily. The apples are large to very large if properly thinned, not fit to eat till the new year, must be stored in a damp place to obtain perfection.

Then it becomes mellow with a musky flavor. How many things... These are all true facts not Spencer. This is canon. How many things are explicitly, like, described as must store in a damp place? They never tell you that. Like, store in a hot, frogs?

God, Brock Heward's... Brock Heward has gone... No, you do not have to store Brock Heward in a hot damp place. Brock Heward's hair is... He looks like if Link was, like, just one course of steroids. Just one, bro. Just one. But he's wearing, like, a bright...

Midesmaids tie like is that LeMay confusing um but i wanted to say that kicker that kicker shouts out to him for just thug of the kickout just just like hey is it pretty no is it going through yes it's going through even if it has to look like i just threw it off the deck of a ship have we got an angle yet where we could tell if it was blocked because i couldn't see but it weirdly looked like it just came off his foot that way that was the most fuck it winning kick i've ever seen it was majestic it was beautiful It was like a duck Did it clear it cleared the bar by like six feet

I'm not sure it didn't clip the bar I don't think it did but it was it was not We should also briefly touch upon Jalen Hyatt scored five touchdowns against Dallaband. This is the thing I actually wanted to talk about This is another thing that's very concerning to me At what point after maybe the second or third touchdown are you a defensive back lifer like hey maybe we should come you remember a couple weeks ago when I said the great thing about this defense is that it creates huge open holes in space with a really great thing about this system is that when you do it right it makes your opponents look really fucking stupid this is not a team that's stupidly coached on defense and they let the same guy score touchdown five times do you know how many catches he had like 16 six

He had six catches. That's less. I was hoping, I really hope the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, we're, like, I, like, I really wish it hadn't happened. Like, like, a perfect five for five. Get him that Arby's, Arby's deal. Yes. Um, and also, we would then have, maybe, maybe, maybe, all I do is he rosevevevevevevevevevevevevee. The Randy Moss meme, three catches for three touchdowns.

We would have a superior version. Yes. We, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for hitting the new, like, the newest, like, the new, the newest, raise the Arby's the five for five that's beautiful Jason maybe the sixth one can be like an apple turnover like I don't want to get political here but if if and when Jalen Hyatt becomes of whatever age you have to be to run for for governor in Tennessee you can run just on that you can

just like your whole campaign can be I scored five touchdowns against Alabama who were active antagonists at Tennessee football yeah like you don't have to you don't have to answer any questions You don't have to develop a platform more than this. You can just say, yeah, my answer to your question about if we should increase spending in schools, I scored five touchdowns against Alabama. You know which school I scored. Speaking of schools, you know which school I scored five touchdowns against it. I hear what the man saying, and I like it.

That's a stupid. That's a stupid. Like, of the list of impossibilities. don't think anybody thought oh it's impossible that this tennessee team will beat at this alabama team maybe you thought it wasn't probable but the idea that one receiver would score five touchdown no this was this was not on my list like sloppy bama was not on my bingo card um if you want to if you want to by the way i'm shaking on a philosophical level so is is is the whole wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Are we now living in the world where Ole Miss is the least sloppy team in the West? Might be, Ryan. Yeah. Competent, dependable, reliable. Lane Kiffin. Ryan, tell me, uh, Ryan, quick, tell me what you would, what, what stats you would look at to think about, to determine sloppiness? And I will tell you where we're at.

I mean, we can, we can go with, we can go with penalties. That's, that's an easy sort of proxy. It's maybe not the only one. Penalties right now. Oh, no, we actually got into this last week. Remember, by far the least penalized team in terms of yardage is Kentucky. But what about just the West? Just the West.

This is really funny because I'm going to read you out the least penalized team in the West is, it's Texas A&M. But Ole Miss trails them by about a yard and a half a game. but five out of the top seven least penalized teams are in the SEC East. I have a theory on why Texas A&M is the least penalized. They do the least. Can't do a penalty if you're only getting 35 plays a game. They're not footballing very much. Well, they're actually middle of the pack on number of penalties themselves

because they have 38 penalties, which is good for eighth. That may be even worse. considering the number of plays they have per game like if you stretch that out to a normal number of plays that a team supposed to have in a game at a middling level they might be like the most penalized team of all time as far as we know uh you sound confident so sure let's just let me have this seems like science yeah uh do we know where the goalpost sounded up by the way i saw something that said one in the river right one's on the tennessee river one went down cumberland last i saw it which is the the strip that runs through the strip that runs through

campus so god knows i hope that for history's sake one of them ended open up charlie's i am i am a little shocked more of this like between the checkerboard getting like dug up slightly and the goalposts like i i was a little surprised there wasn't more just like yeah man all theft is legal tonight oh i mean it's it's outside the stadium but it's they kind of have a problem right there in the immediate environs of the stadium that you have in Atlanta, which is if you want to leave the stadium and trying to get rowdy, there's not a whole lot that's happening right there. You have to go a few blocks to get to the commercial district. And those are very hilly blocks. Like, you know what? There's a lot of tonight in Knoxville.

Yeah, boat homicide. I was going to say unpleasant boat sex. So maybe we're both right. there's probably some really pleasant boat sex happening too let's be fair it's probably some people finding happiness out there's there's no on the goal post okay shouts out to those dudes riding the goalposts those are my favorite the guys were like that way the first kind of the first kind of chunky dude with his butt hanging out a little bit in the white tennessee ball cap here all us call us um the the the uh the black dude and the orange polo shirt a little bit a little bit later on who got like the Washington crossing the Delaware pose I want an oil painting of this in like an eight foot guilt frame to hang in my home god we're kind of like tattoo shops are going to be fucking booked in Tennessee this week. Tennessee produces more weird renaissance painting tableaus than maybe any of program like I can't I can't help thinking that I hope we're Sean Galden's having a great night wherever he is I I agree with this the most for better and

or worse, picturesque fan base in terms of internet memeability. I have long held that Tennessee and Florida State are by far the two most memeable unhappy fan bases, but I can't remember the last time FSU produced quality happy memes.

And here's Tennessee parading up and down the street with dudes riding the goalposts. And Florida State usually has to gussy it up with some body paint and glitter and shit. Tennessee fans are just naturally majestic. Just wear a polo. That's it. Did you guys see Tennessee Alonzo morning in the stands?

We had, hang on, let me see if I can find it. There was a, there was just like a quick pan across the front row. And there's this elderly white hair gentleman who did the full, he was kind of reversed. He was like this is a visual medium, of course. No, yeah. But doing the nod and head shake and contemplation. Good.

Hang on, if I can find it, I'll put it in the chat. it's a good day for orange teams overall because of course the other excellent team yeah let's talk about syracuse which is what we really want to be doing syracuse here i found him he's in the chat not illinois interesting yeah no not jason i've said you a new tennessee meme well not oklahoma state either because they didn't have oh well that's a different thing that's yeah i mean illinois illinois illinois a workman like win a workman like win over at minnesota but tennessee alonzo morning is incredible that is pretty good

You can't really, his eyebrows are hard to see, but you really need to focus on the eyebrows because that's where all the expressiveness is happening. No, still the best, the best crowd shots in all of college football, undefeated. But Syracuse, yes, Syracuse, the beloved orange 24-9 over NC State. You notice how much their season picked up once we threw our weight onto the existing split zone duo Syracuse's good bandwagon? Didn't really get moving until then. I don't remember doing it. I didn't. I think now that this has happened, maybe I'm joining late,

but this is what it took for me to join that movement. I think for a minute, it was like, I think for a minute we were doing it Nebraska style, like Syracuse is the, is Syracuse the best three-win team that is actually a six-win team? Does that make any sense? Does that make emotional sense? No, I get what you're saying.

Are they, are they, I get what you're saying, and I don't think that's what they are. They have three wins by more than, like, they handily beat Louisville, Yukon, and now NC State. Right, those are the three wins. They also have an FCS win, and they have two wins that are very, so. Have you ever seen a student driver on the highway going like 90 miles an hour? Like a car passes you, and it says student driver. God, you're Florida shit.

Yeah. So. I'm just going to start watching the Bama game over again. So I have seen that. Have you ever had a substitute teacher? you throw a knife at you that's garret schrader at quarterback is what i was going to say garrette rhoder at quarterback should have a student driver sticker on the back of his uniform because god he's terrifying to watch awesome nothing about this game made sense like nancy state

had three drives in this game that each took at least seven minutes and they all they all ended in field goals and the longest of them was 56 yards like nc state spent a lot of this game on offense but not doing offense. Not doing a damn thing. And like two of those drives happened in the second half when it's like, guys, we got to fuck it. We're late for church. What are you doing in the bathroom? We have to go.

I can't find my pen. The church has a bathroom. The funniest part of this game is that Syracuse had two possessions in the second half and they still won. I don't, I don't, I don't. understand NC State the slightest. This was a team that not but a few weeks ago was like, I don't

know, ACC looks wide open. Maybe this is where they finally Oh, Eric, all right, there you go. Two dumb losses and a win over Florida State that they shouldn't even have. Thank you for playing NC State. We'll see you at 8 and 4 where we always see. We'll meet you at the 8 and 4

cafe, our favorite place to eat. NC State 8 and 5 with four first round draft picks. This is the way. Just. Just so stupid. And Devin Larry out for the year. Yeah.

Oh, no, I didn't hear that. Yeah. I would like to, since we're already bringing it down with that, can we talk about how fucking disappointing Penn State was today? I'm sorry, I have one more Tennessee to put in the chat. Go for it. That is not a real photo. It's not a real photo.

Put it in the chat. Oh, my God. That's incredible. Yep, yep, yep. Oh, fantastic. Is that an Oculus headset? It looks like, I think it's just a visor. Oh, yes, I think it's just a visor.

Okay, I couldn't see the visor part. Yeah. It's a neck brace. That's Jeremy Piven. Right? They're both Jeremy Piven. He's looping. Tonight we're all Jeremy Tiven.

No, I don't have nearly enough social diseases. On a day where, like. To be Jeremy Piven. every game that we were like I'm satisfied with my current amount of social diseases on a day where every game that we're like this will be interesting or I hope this is interesting

almost all of them were like even if it looked even if it was like out of reach the team that was behind clawed back or in forced overtime or it came down to like the last driver two like everybody did a good job hitting their marks like making the

games that are supposed to be interesting actually be interesting except Penn fucking State who And they were on schedule They were on schedule for a minute This is what happened Michigan led

Michigan led this game 1614 and halftime Penn State got the ball At the start of the second half Had a 70 yard field goal drive To take the lead Great We're doing what we're supposed to do

After that they never got past The Michigan 37 And Michigan just ran the ball All fucking like You couldn't even bid it a round number Like the 40 dude No God damn

No no Penn State came in giving up 80 rushing yards per game and today they gave up 418 and I believe everyone who's not me owes John Bacon an apology yeah true yeah it's time it's time for John Bacon this year to move along our John Cassandra Bacon so for a while Panther's job is mama's calling yeah bring it home for a while like they were on scheduled to do the bullshit James Franklin win because you remember it was 13 nothing and then Penn State

threw a couple of extremely bullshit plays while only having two first downs on offense got it to 1413 Sean Clifford Wheels baby That was the first play I saw of that game this afternoon when I turned it on had a real endangering the mission I shouldn't have come moment

Yeah that he got that he got loose because nobody believed he had the ball I love it when they get loose on all white uniform days for Penn State because it always looks like a toddler has escaped the nursery. Or a hospital patient. Yeah, it is running. A hospital patients

don't get to wear pants, though, do they? It depends on the hospital. A mummy. A mummy is almost. There we go. It's Halloween. We have loosed a mummy. It was half nobody believed he had the ball and half the defenders being like, oh, God damn it. There was a moment

where they were just like, oh. There's a moment. They're like, Sean Clifford. Fuck. You really? We're going to I'm going to be on TV. I'm going to be a meme. Someone go get him. We're going to have to sit in film review and have to break down how Sean Clifford galloped for 60 plus yards on us. Noted scrambling threat, Sean Clifford. Let's point out. It's already ruined my week.

There are definite strides and ways of running that you could tell when a defender's like, oh, man, go get him. Yes. Yes. Like, we can still catch him, but I'm not happy about it. Yes. It's a very much like, oh, my four-year-old was just here. Here. How are you almost in the lion's cage? Oh, fine. Go get them.

400. They got military academy. Michigan had the ball for 42 minutes, basically. That's a hard graven. I don't think they got military academy because, like, I don't think Michigan was trying to, like, be like, we'll just hold the ball and keep it from them. No. I think Penn State was just like, we don't want it. We decline.

We, I yield my time to the Michigan. Bad, bad things happened when I touched that. And also, this wasn't like four yards, four yards, four yards. Like there's a 67, there's a 61 thing. Blake, listen, man, if I, if you just like hit in the stomach with the baseball bat or try to tackle Blake Corm, I'm like, hit me with the bat. Blake Corm does not look like fun in the open field at all in any way. He was, I saw, I think A Sam Bender tweeted this out before the game he went out and was

like throwing Sour Patch Kid boxes in. to the stands to fans and shit. Like, what an insanely confident thing to do to be like, hey, you're here to watch us play a top 10 Big Ten opponent. Have some candy because it's going to be a fun show.

And he was right. He was totally right. Well, like, this is also Michigan fans. That new cluster was an emotional roller coaster. There's a lot going on. All at once. Once again, we've complained about this once before this week, but

really, really could use some sort of scary authoritarian commissioner figure who would not have staggered all of these games. Urban Meyer. Let's make it. No. Let's talk about Urban Meyer's pregame outfit. Did anyone see the Fox pregame show? Chaps? Or the halftime show? Sorry, I guess he's also wearing clothes. Yeah. He was wearing clothes. But did you all see what he was wearing? Please describe it in respectful detail. Black suit, including a coat. of a length I would describe as like American Godsey

kind of a pale pink taffeta tie but little tiny non-polarized Roger Stone sunglasses the best comparison I could come up with in the moment was like he was on the Babadook's legal team

and no one else that did Fox because you know they cram five people onto that desk and and it's too small and it's too small and it's too small. Right. They're mostly former players. Matt Linerd is visibly embarrassed. You can tell and you can tell they're all

none of them are like well I'll sit with my legs close. They're all like these legs are spread. These legs are spread because I need comfort. I actually have a new theory and I need to go back and make sure that I've got the middle of this right but I think that you notice they put Reggie Bush in the middle even though he is not the senior

member of this team and I Rob Stone, I think, has been there the longest, and that's why he gets to sit the furthest away from Urban. They should Voltron them. They should just be like, all right. So Urban's wearing sunglasses, and everyone else on the desk has just this look if they come back from commercial of just this guy.

The Fox idea was to hire absolutely no one with any warm. None. Like you put Matliner. Brady Quinn is turning in and is turning out to be quite maternal. and I that's not that's kind of a compliment he's trying I think between he's making it work there's some personality between Brady and Reggie right yeah but then putting putting Matt Leonard Urban Meyer in there is is bringing the temperature in the room down by about 50 degrees right I'm looking at Urban Meyer shades I'm getting

a Dr. Strange Love yeah yeah it's got very cold war defense consultant vibes to it right Like, this will only kill 15 million people. Yeah, it's creepy. It's bad. I think, next head coach of Alabama. I think I may have actually gotten this right. Oh, wait. Let's, oh, this is why Bama lost because the Bill O'Brien to Georgia Tech rumor started

up. Bill O'Brien's distracted by the Georgia Tech job. Just like when Lane Kiffin had to be let go during the playoff because he was thinking about his next job. That's B-O-B thinking about. Okay, I think I figured this out. Matt Liner has actually been at Fox Sports a little bit long. longer than Reggie Bush.

I think everybody else is in order. So Matt and Reggie clearly had some kind of like USC-based bet going for the week to see who has to sit by Urban that day. And Matt lost and that's why he's so cranky. Can we can't we just put him like in like a wagon or something off to the side? Like like he's there. He's like Lee Corso's Wario. Like this is this is our brother that mom's. said we have to take with us, but we don't want to hang it.

You could put him in a little, what have you put him in like a, you could put him in like a rolling volcano, Legends of the Hidden Temple style. Oh, put him in the big hamster ball from, uh, from American gladiators. What if we just put him in a sorb? Yeah.

You'd just be like, stay urban. With a little rat cage bottle of gin. But never acknowledge it. Never acknowledge it. I want the Fox wardrobe people to gradually push him into being dressed exactly. like Morpheus in the Matrix. Right?

You like the coat. You like the length. I don't have any blue pills. I love the length. Yeah. Okay. Can you make it leather? Okay, cool, cool, cool. Can you make the glasses a little smaller? Please don't put Urban Meyer leather daddy. Please do.

This is after dark. If there's anything Urban has, it's blue pills. Wow. Oh, shit. You're absolutely right. Either that or put them in the same outfit from the nightclub picture on the set you're like yeah you like this shirt i know you do um tCU oklahoma state was really good i completely missed this game how it was uh yeah there's nothing going on at the time

yeah that's a i i think that was irresponsible of you i get it and i get that you're having an irresponsible day we've harped on that a lot but i'm going to go but i'm actually going to go back and watch the tCU game in full tomorrow as a um Longtime sunny enthusiast. This was extremely pleasing. Okay, say it got up, I think 24-7 was their biggest lead. That is correct, yes. And held similar versions of that lead until...

It took TCU almost the entire regulation to come back and tie it up. They were up 3016 with about 11 minutes to play when they punted away to TCU. Yeah, and TCU didn't tie it up until looks like, like, two minutes to go. Because there was still time for both teams to try to win in regulation. They just didn't. Yeah, and then Watt, TCU gets the win, remains undefeated, 6-0.

According to the every team sucks metric, JMU now sucks. J.M.U. Ohio State didn't do anything. They are back on the suck list. TCU is, as of right now, the only team that doesn't suck. wow in the season ryan you're good at this can you think of a of a rivalry pairing that has a greater delta between coach affability than sunny dykes versus mike gundy because now that cut cliff retired we have to take that crown away from him and mac brown yeah and pass it on to somebody else um hypole and sabin's a pretty different experience I don't think that I don't think that exactly

Oh you know what it you know what it could be right now Stoops and Satterfield Ooh Oh that's a strong one Like especially especially because like I already talked about this on Twitter He famously likable Mark Stoops We definitely saw this whole Kentucky era coming

Like I'm just gonna stop like Ever thinking good thoughts about Mississippi State Because every I swear to God And I know it's not just me. This is not, we have powers. This is not one of them. Do not look directly at them.

Oh, y'all have a new problem, by the way, because all my shit and superstitions clearly worked, and now I have to keep them going. Yeah, that's true. It's the only other thing I wanted to say about that game. We're on to you, T. Martin. There's just no point. There's really no point in ever being like, well, I am a believer in Mississippi State football because immediately they will just, like, fucking crumble.

They're a Schrodinger's football team, but the box they're in is Plexiglass. I am, I'm busy looking through the rivalry week schedule for the greatest difference between likable coach and unlikable coach. And I'm giving up on that because I'm looking right now at Jimbo versus Brian Kelly. Oh, okay, let's play a... Happy holidays. We had a reader question come into Channel 6 this morning that I actually wanted to save for the full group because I thought it was really good. This is from Anthony. Who would be, speaking of the exact opposite of what we just saw from Tennessee, Alabama, TCU, and Oklahoma State,

who would be the funniest coach to see dragged into a Virginia Tech Wake Zero Zero, End of Regulation game? And I'm going to open that up. Who would, who is the funniest pair of coaches we would like to see dragged into that game? I don't know what Chip Kelly would do in that circumstance. I really don't. I'm not sure Chip would know what to do with himself. he didn't like it and they didn't like him but he's experienced it yeah it wouldn't hurt as much i gotta go mike leach oh like granted he's like has he can sort of space out at times and

just sort of pretend he's elsewhere like at the capital or whatever but like if it's zero zero i don't know if he knows how to what if he's paying attention i know what you meant but i thought But it also sounded like you were saying he was there on January 6th. Of course he was. I thought we all just kind of assumed that. It's not like his team was in the playoff or anything. What if that's this year's egg bowl? Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He said what's the funniest possible out of them? I think Kempicillo's, zero are eggs. Actually, I think both of these guys can make jokes about it. And they're both like, ha-ha, I'm Mr. Funny. Mr. Funny fun guy. I don't know the internet thinks I'm funny. So, like, they both would, I think, find ways to spend it.

The real problem is if the Egg Bowl, any other, lots of other games, if they go zero-zero-zero, you can say, like, defenses really showed up, or weather was shitty, or injuries. Like, you can come up with plausible scenarios. If the Egg Bowl goes overtime zero-zero, you have seen five missed field goals, like, an interception that was immediately fumbled, that was somehow fumbled again. Like, you have seen. Yeah, that's hilarious. You have done a tour of the horror. There was a running clock due to fights. Yes.

Yes. I mean, I think. Half time got skipped because who knows why. We have to play through halftime. We have to play through half-time. The locker rooms are infested with Thanksgiving. I forgot. That happened in a game where they couldn't go in the locker room for halftime, so they just had to stay out.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that happened to, who was it? Was that us? They had to, like, give the team, there was, like, one team just sitting in the end zone, even PB and J's. I remember this happening. I don't remember who would happen, too. Orange slices, orange slices in high C, everybody.

You don't pair orange slices and high C. What? Oh, we got pairings? Yeah, obviously you have pairings. Orange slices and Capri Sun. You haven't, but this is, that's a staple. That would be fine. That would be fine.

So it's specifically the high C that's the problem? High C with the orange slices. Why are we doubling up on citrus? on the orange flavor. But in a fancy restaurant you would call this. It never is. In a fancy restaurant you would call this orange comma two ways. You all living a more half a lutein lifestyle than me.

Orange slices of quarter water, if we're being honest. Yeah, I didn't know what I was getting. It's high see and nutty buddy, okay? I don't know how to explain this shit. The Lincoln Riley. I'm not an athlete. The Lincoln Riley Chip Kelly. here the lincoln riley chip kelly zero zero game would be grim that's the one oh that would be a that would be

that would destabilized personalities maybe even families yeah lincoln riley going from i don't i i love winning 55 to 54 to being to be zero zero in a conference that's not very good yeah he would lose another chin in that game like just both of them not a lot of chin's going on there um i got one more who is a and m playing on thanksgiving this year um oh no fuck i oh god i just realized what i spoke to existence what did you do take backs take backs take backs take backs okay that's fine i rebuke myself rebuk accepted i really did not mean to suggest a brian kelly jimpo fisher scoreless game on Thanksgiving. That seems...

I feel like they would be fine with that because that would mean they both want to do like 17 plays of offense. Imagine how long we would have to watch them. I think that zero-zero-zero game is actually going very quick. I think that game is very much... There's lots of standing around

between plays by design. Jimbo's like, I'm used to this. This is how we played all year. I'm good. I'm making more efficient money this way. Yeah 32 place Did he just call delay of game Is that what he told us to run?

Why? I'll get it Meanwhile Brian Kelly's out there Passing out slices of like Deli turkey for Thanksgiving Right I brought me Feeding everybody

It's a Brian Kelly Thanksgiving You don't deserve shit What do you want to say What does Brian Kelly sound like now That's a valid question I think Brian Kelly is confiscating turkey. No, I meant the behavior, not the accent could be anything. Make up any accent

and that's a Brian Kelly accent. I think he's going through finding, I think he's finding children in the stands who have gotten caramel apples from a nearby vendor taking them. I bought this for you. Taking them. Not to eat, but to stick to himself, stick out to create a kind of hedgehog like armor.

He didn't know what approached me. Oh, God, Brian Kelly brought ox tail and he's doing a Chet Hayes impression. This is terrible. Brian Kelly is hating Megan Fox? What the fuck? That's like LSU goes to the Bahamas Bowl and Brian Kelly decides to. Oh, no.

Embrace his idea of local culture. Sir, sir, your hair is too short to bead. Beat it. Beed the hair. I don't care if it's three beads. Beed the hair. You got enough for one bead. You don't have to have a lot of hair to do a hair wrap.

He could have one of those like threaded ones that goes all the way down to his shoulder. Make me look like a mangled troll doll if you have. to beat the hair. He'd be so red. And he's got a jewel in his tummy. That part is true. All right.

One more truth thing to return very briefly. Five FBS football coaches who definitely have belly button rings. Ryan, go ahead and I'm going to pull this. I'm going to make this list up. Dana Holgerson. Yeah, come on. That's the free space. Five additional FBS football.

coaches who have belly button rings Mario Cristobal Hang on Okay finish your thing And then I'm gonna It's a big duel Cliff is definitely one Okay

Dana is one But Cliff is like It's for spiritual reasons And never says anything else I like that We would know if Harbaugh had one Yes Yeah

Yeah I got one Dana is the freeze course Let's get three Let's get three more Mario Yes it's Miami I kind of give Mario and Jamie Chadwell passes because as somebody said at their first,

as one of our listeners said at the first Coastal Carolina game they saw last year, we're pretty sure the provostic coastal hands out belly button piercings with diplomas. That's how you get it. They clip it to your navel. And it's got his in Sedona and it's got like a quartz pendant hanging from it. Jade. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Let's see. This may surprise you. Gus Mal's on.

Timmy Chang feels too obvious. Actually, my deep cut for this was going to be Luke Fickle. Oh, you know what? Yeah. Yeah. I think he's more of the tattoo around the belly button. I go. Okay, tattoo around the belly button, but it's an Elven script.

I think we're, I mean, tribal son is the likeiest guest. Yeah, right. Luke Fickle, I could see maybe because, I don't know, he's a wrestler. they're you know like maybe sort of like hanging out at certain shows or concerts a nipple ring i can see a luke fickle nipple ring you know what i bet i can come up with i'm actually coming up with too many super likely candidates to have belly button rings this is why we should never have let millennials into the coaching ranks tom allen does not have a belly button ring because tom allen does not have a belly button no but listen to all these coaches who just off the top

my head after scrolling real quickly, definitely do. Okay. Stop me when I get to somebody implausible. Rhett Lashley. Sure. Willie Fritz. Yep. Jeff Scott. Okay. The one that I'm really ashamed we didn't think of already,

especially since we already brought up hair braiding. Mike Norvell. Oh, Mike Norvelle's got the dumbbells. That's the single-likeliest one. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of feel bad that we took Dane off board before Mike Norvell. You know what else is.

Matt Campbell. Uh, no. No. No. No. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Sark had one, but he took it out, but not before the hole became permanent.

So you could see the visible hole. I was going to say Sark's got infected, so he had to take it out. No, Lane's got infected. So I was kicked out. You've ever seen anybody less equipped? There's a great Venn diagram here. Coaches who are in charge of keeping hundreds of young people at once from, getting staff infections who you wouldn't trust to take care of a piercing on their own body lane kiff

and work at clairs for one week challenge can you imagine p j fleck running the ear piercing gun yes actually yes it'd be so clean yeah yeah the problem is he's yelling at an eight year old i think sark and lane when they were on USC staff gave each other theirs right it was like a buddy that's surprisingly tender yeah i mean they were tight friends listen to endless love in the dark Okay, well. One munkin brother, but not the other. And they trade. Ooh.

Is this allowed at Army? That's what I'm thinking that Jeff took his half of the BFF charm out and that Todd is wearing it until Jeff leaves service. Oh, another person we know doesn't have it is Brett Bilema. I actually feel like more coaches might have belly button rings than not have belly button rings. Because look at this run down here through the middle of the Indies. like Kalani Sataki definitely Hugh Fries, yes and both nipples. Marcus Freeman, almost

positive. Jim El Mora 1,000 percent. Don Brown, yes, and it's not where you think. Is belly button? It's wandering. So the only thing I have to argue against the likelihood of this prevalence of belly button rings

in the coaching world at least one coach by now would have got gotten like a carabiner and clipped his play card to his Oh yeah, Joe Moorhead. All right. Never mind.

That's why he had to leave Mississippi State. It wasn't that they didn't like him. They're just like, too sexy. You're too sexy. We can't have that in Starkville. You set the town on fire.

This is actually why Dan Lannning fled to Oregon. Also too sexy. Yep. For a culture that would understand it. Secretly, reasoning behind every coaching coach firing too sexy just gut yep too erotic yeah by the way if it is against the rules i think it's unfair that at the naval academy you'd get in trouble for having your

dick pierced if there was any branch of the military where you should be allowed to have a dick piercing it would be the navy see i thought you were going to say a naval piercing but then you said a dick piercing yeah oh i thought he was making a naval joke no no no it just just like it just seems it seems like outside the spirit of of the navy and of the oceanic life to be against that in any form yeah pirates did it probably yeah right but isn't it also called a prince albert and isn't that therefore treason hmm wasn't prince albert in the navy not ours hey navy hey navy you know navy navy's navy's name would be fucking great and prince i was like fuck this i'm going to be in the american navy now here's the same

The food is better. Here's the sentence. Hey, we forgot to mention Ricky, Ronnie and Jake Spavidol in that list. Yes. And unfortunately, Terry Bowden. This is an incredible percentage of... I was going to say, there might be more... There might be more that have one than don't.

Ricky Ronnie doesn't have one, but his alter ego... Ricky Rain, who comes out at night, does have one. Ricky Rain. Ricky Ronnie's responsible and doesn't have a belly button ring, but Ricky Ronnie does. Yeah. Can we talk briefly about how Cal lost? I know it was a joke, but Cal did lose to Colorado today. I'm glad we're back to this.

In a game where the Cal, look, I get that this is just a thing that happens now. But I think sadder than the tweeting just the word final with the graphic of the score your team lost by, was the Cal social account having to be like halftime against Colorado. And the score being Colorado 3, Cal Zero. Like, you don't have to, you don't have to tweet that one. Final fine. I get that you have to sort of close the book on this. You could have just ignored the halftime one, man.

Fucking, it's terrible. You didn't even have to do a final. There's no law. Like, there's not a law. This is, like, public universities must provide records via their Twitter account of all sporting events. That's true. Turn your phone off. Didn't we have, like, the Florida State team or something?

Just turned their phones off at one point? It stayed off for, like, six. six months too that's great that's a good idea cal you lost to go on walk about cal you lost to a colorado team that turn the ball over more than you did had more penalties than you did like what the fuck me jesus look on the bright side every fbs team has a win every fbss last week's trend of interim coaches being unstoppable continues even Colorado yes you're right you're right Colorado step the fuck up and and and they claimed it late but they claimed it i'm just glad james madison's been brought back to earth i feel safe colorado is no longer one of the five worst teams in fbs how about that

i'm going to second that holly i found it disturbing that they were that good that quickly honestly it seemed outside the natural order thank you georgia southern wow also dark also the emergence of dark clay helton dark clay helton the executioner do you need to be fired clay hilton will make that and Clay Helton took Scott Frosthead and then the undefeated Duke's game in and Clay Hilton's like mine Souls will be mine. And don't forget they won the Southern

not state game. Ooh Ooh, the rest of I don't know, the rest of Southern's schedule is spicy. Did they play Auburn? I know they don't I just about scrolled up because I was like they probably already did. Do you want that to happen, Ryan? Should we make some calls?

Come on. Is that a coach audition? Don't speak evil like that to your existence. No, I don't. Is that the worst idea at this point? In all honesty. No, there's way worse ideas. No, there's way worse ideas.

Right. Okay. You know who Auburn ought to look into is this character who's got UCF in the New Year's Six race once again. He kind of has a familiar, there's something familiar about him, but he's just too tanned and serene to. I don't know if he's cut out for the big levels. I don't know. They scored 70 points. Auburn would like 70 points.

They didn't just score 70 points. Oh, no, yeah. They had 737 yards of offense. Sounds pretty fun, Auburn. Averaged over 10 yards of play against Temple. Temple, you are a real FBS team. I know that sometimes that waxes and wanes, but, like, goddamn. We should probably be that rule back there until we figure out what's going on.

I also realized, looking over the standings today, that the only reason UCF is not undefeated is because they lost two, a Louisville team that doesn't even like its coach. There are a lot of teams like this right now. I'm going to go through them very quickly here. If not for a loss to 3 and 4 Indiana, Illinois would be undefeated and possibly looking at maybe

a top 10 ranking now. This is my favorite Good Night Moon book. Please keep going. If not for a loss to a 500 Southern Miss team that needed to come back from down 197 in the fourth today to beat Arkansas State, Tulane would be undefeated. If

not for a super gross home loss to that two lane team kansas state would be undefeated if not for an eight point road loss to auburn san jose state would be undefeated they led that game at half time and this is the worst one because it was bad at the time but it's only gotten worse with age if not for the worst fucking special team's fake that you've ever seen against ucla south alabama would be undefeated but that's weird that's weird as fuck yeah Yeah, that is, yeah, yeah. Like, how many games does South Alabama have to win for AP voters to even be like, what fucking button do I appreciate it?

It's going to take a bit. It's going to take a bit. You know who else is not going to be ranked for a bit? Notre Dame. Notre Dame is not going to know. Notre Dame, let's talk about it. Fuck. Let's talk.

A week or two or whatever. After we said, you know, Stanford should probably just fire David Shaw, because things will never be good again. My God, in South Bend, no less. I would argue we were right, because this wasn't good. No. 1614 isn't good. Stanford still look like shit.

The fact that the AP headline is Stanford beats Notre Dame 1614 for first FBS win in a year. Yeah. So Notre Dame has now lost to Ohio State. Okay, no shame there. They lost to Marshall. Marshall has beaten zero other FBS teams. They lost to Stanford. Stanford has beaten zero other FBS teams.

Notre Dame is yet to beat anyone by more than a touchdown, and they still got to go to Syracuse to USC and play Clemson. They beat UNC. They beat UNC like handily, and are the only reason why UNC's not undefeated? Where is, hang on, what math did I fuck up here? They won that game by 13. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Okay, thank you. But other than that's the only game. All they have accomplished all year long is beat the shit out of UNC. Keep UNC from being ranked. basically, which is a service, which is a mitzv of its own. That's fine. Don't rank us. I think that's stupid. Yeah, you said you didn't want rank, coach.

You said you didn't want it. Thank you. Can I, um, a thing I used to do every week, I haven't done it in a while, can I run through some bowl projections? Yes. Yes. Oh, hell yes. Wait, before you do this, can you please, how did you stumble upon this fucking bowl eligible shirt business?

Yeah. Where is that from? How is it very Why do multiple institutions follow this account? This account has been around forever and it is recently rebranded as bowl season. Because here in college football, we name things the bluntest, most boring thing possible. It's been like the bowl association and whatnot. So they're like leaning into the branding that like college football fans already use, which I guess is smart. But they're leaning way too far.

And they're tweeting out graphics each time a team becomes bowl eligible, which Okay, that's pretty cute. Sure. But they're also tweeting out links to buy a shirt that says bowl eligible, basically. And I noticed. Like PowerPoint graphic shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just automated, slap it on.

This team has six wins. Boom. Today, after Tennessee beat Alabama, which will surely generate a hundred different commemorative t-shirt designs, going to blow up Pinterest and Etsy and so on and so on. homefield got a new hoodie for y'all even every every tennessee fan is going to buy their own shirt about beating bama in 2022 what does the official twitter account of bull season drop get your bowl eligible 22 vols t-shirt now the valls are gunning for the fucking SEC title they don't need your goddamn managing expectations is vital meanwhile last week last week last week they uh they they shared graphics for like ohio state bama and georgia becoming ball eligible they don't give a fuck about that jason they retweeted your tweet about this

yeah all right all right i take it back about them is the first tweet in their feet yeah take it back this account rules there and on the bit but but jason think about how many looks you would get if you started like rolling around atlanta in a fucking ohio state bowl eligible I might We're getting all these And we're wearing them to the next game They gave me the retreat I might pick up this vols shirt

Listen if we if we get there I'm getting the Florida one Like the minute If you get there You're gonna have to wait a bit That's what I'm saying For some teams it is a good achievement To earn the graphic

If and when we get there I'm buying that thing I'm wearing it proudly That'll be great So as for teams aiming a bit higher than six wins. Let's talk about the postseason. First, first, speaking of post season,

here is a real quick FCS update. I just want to point out that Spencer is still not charging his phone. No, I mean, what's the point? So, today in FCS News, South Dakota State, a team in a... The ship is on the bottom of the ocean. A team in a terrible conference. They beat North Dakota State who's in a terrible conference.

The good conference is, of course, the Big Sky Conference. The other good conference is the Southland Conference. It's in the Big Sky, the best conference in the world, which boasts four different title contenders, even after Montana slipped up to get today against Idaho, which is basically an FBS team, because that is the grueling. Because they still have the gear? Yeah. Yeah, they're still just as hard as an FBS team. That's how good the Big Sky conference is. And if Kirby Smart can bullshit you about almost losing to Missouri by saying our conference is hard, I can do the same about my beloved Big Sky.

So as far as the competition to win the national title trophy that is not called the Division I football trophy, let's see here. Here's your New Year's 6. All right. All of this is totally realistic at this point. Your Orange Bowl. Ohio State, tumbling to the Orange Bowl. Uh-oh, but at least they made a big game.

Their opponent, we're going to match them up with a big marquee opponent, because that's usually what they try to do with the two games that are not automatic qualifier. We're going to give them UNC. Ohio State, UNC in the Orange Bowl. Next, in the Cotton Bowl, Georgia falls all the way down here. That's not good. That's not good. And they're stuck with the non-power representative because you've got to have one of those. Tulane, of course, Georgia's Tulane.

They probably haven't played since like 1931 or something like that. I want to look that up. Keep going. I'm going to guess their coach's names. One was Smitty Foot Locker Williams. And then the other one Yeah, the other one was Tac.

1985 was the last time Yeah. The last time these two teams played. Far too recent. Tulane's coach at the time, Mac Brown. Wow. Did they win, Ryan?

Did they coat themselves in glory that day? Georgia won 58 to 3. Oh, no. Yikes. We'll probably see a repeat of that. But the series is 14, 10, and 1. Yeah, it's it. And the green wave are coming back.

That's right. Vengeance is on the way. Sugar Bowl, this one, it's just, you know, it's the top-rated non-playoff teams from these two conferences. We're going with Tennessee versus Oklahoma State. It's a pretty good game. Huh? Huh? Loser has to.

Spencer's yawning. That's how good this game is. Loser has to abandon orange. Damn, the loser has to go purple. Yeah. Your Rose Bowl, Utah, just knocked off USC, thanks in part to the past. Pact 12 hating its highest rated team. There's some frustrating, officiating in that game.

I don't have a rooting interest, but still. Utah, winning the Pact 12, and they will draw down against Illinois. Illinois is back in the Rose Bowl. I love that the big... Without Ron Zuck. They said it couldn't be done. Finally, one without Ron Zook's players. No one has ever said that.

And then Ron Zuck takes off his Brett Biela Bissuit. This will take a while. That's a lot of suit. I love that right now, the Big Ten semifinal games are fucking Michigan and Ohio State and Purdue and Illinois. That's right. That's right. Very serious division. As it should be.

As it should be. Purdue had like 40 first downs today. Yeah. And they needed pretty much all of them. Good God. And your playoff semifinals one will be Ole Miss versus Kansas State. Wow. And the other will be UCLA versus Syracuse.

Where did TCU end up in all this? Unfortunately, they're going to drop a few games. Okay. They're too good to participate in my particular game here. I see. I've already declared the national champ, so. Right. Wait a second.

Who did TCU beat again? They beat Oklahoma State today. Yeah. Are you telling me that the last remaining playoff pick of our entire pool that's still undefeated is mine? Correct. Yeah. Yes. This is so upsetting.

Yep. Okay. Jason, please continue. I'm going to go crawl into the sea. That was it. That's your playoff. I would like to congratulate Auburn briefly today on the amazing feat of rushing for 300 yards, which is great. Like, that feels like very much like, hey, that's the shit Auburn wants to do.

And allowing 448 rushing yards sold. Win some loose a baby. Which part of the straight Boise approach is that? Oh, my God. You know what that is? That is a commitment to conditioning. I'm going to get you fit, and we're going to make ourselves fit together. Auburn's remaining schedule.

Arkansas, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, Western Kentucky, Alabama. You know, UCF only gave up 59 rushing yards. Like, how much longer must we endure this? How much longer? Probably not much. When's the buyout go down again? You would think so, but... I'm going to say not much longer.

We need to, like, if we have to do the big buyout shit, we should, there should be a rule. Commissioner Urban Meyer should instill this rule that all the buyouts have to kick in on the same day. So we get just like this big firing spree all it wants. And then we can get TikToks of all these coaches out at Dave and Busters together. I'm going.

to do like wait wait wait I think Ed Orsheron was at the Notre Dame game today really yeah I think somebody's you dissent this no I feel like earlier in the week somebody was like

here's a picture of Ed Orsoran at the Notre Dame yeah he was he is spending a lot of time considering like he has A not secured a college football job and B talked about like openly how when LSU was like well we're gonna you know we're gonna end this relationship and here's your money he was like oh oh can i get it a quarter like like he's still

spending a lot of time around college football in a way that i find confusing he was at the texas game one week and is he and is this is like a this is a thing that's pretty common in my understanding with fire coaches they go visit guys you might have a friend on staff or former calling on stuff or guys just whose scheme you like and you want to like pick up a few tricks. But is he in one of those situations where if he does get another job, he has an offsetting buyout from LSU? I don't know. It could be that.

That's the situation. I think he's living absolutely correctly at this time. Is he just like trying to hang out with his friends? And he's like, well, my friends are playing football on Saturday. So I've got to go see him. I mean, I would do this. Sure. This is one of the most human things I've ever seen him do.

Like, O doesn't strike me as a. learning scheme kind of guy I think we're just like he likes being seen and I'm the guy LSU fired aren't they dumb look at all the attention I'm getting I get that conversation it would be special to me hey Ed you want to come in

and take a look we got this cool stunts game no no no don't want to learn a thing fuck that shit no no no learn it for this fella you know what I learned they'll give you money if you leave I apologize for associating both Ed Ogeron and tangentially LSU with the concept of education

I have an update from Air Force UNLV breaking news. The ref just went into the crowd and told the UNLV band to stop playing while Air Force has the ball. What? By into the crowd, I mean, he literally walked up to the band director and was like, you need to stop playing. What is the, please, please point out the score at this point. I do not have the score. The score is Air Force 42, UNLV seven. I think they're fine with the noise.

What is with West Coast refs? They're all on drugs. But they're all such sticklers. Are they trying to draw heat away from themselves if they're on drugs? You know how when you're really fucked up, you sometimes remember only the most specific rules, right? You're like, yeah, I'm not wearing pants, but I remember that on Tuesday the garbage goes out, right?

Like very, you know, I got to move the car from the right. I love that's your example. Definitely not projecting, super not projection. He could possibly remember such a thing. Anyway, so. The other thing about if it's Spencer in this example, he's not wearing pants, he remembers that the

garbage has to go out, but then he doesn't take it. Yes. My pants are in the garbage, which goes out on Tuesday. Then I put my pants in the garbage, yeah. This is all part of the system. Now I don't have to wear pants. That's Pac-12 reps. They're barely

clinging to their last threat of sobriety in a storm of chemical abuse They're having fun out there At the time it was 357 This man is walking up Like slow motion malice in the palace To go to go He's like

He's like walking across sections Upstairs Across again Up more stairs Just to say one thing to the band director This is incredible shit Hey quit Yeah

No he walked all the way up there Does he not have a microphone? He's cutting through a section like we have the technology for you to not take the whole crowd on this journey in this bullshit game that's already done do you think he told like the other officials like hey i'm gonna go do this or they were just like why the fuck is dave in the state like what is he doing when i was in band if you tried to cut through the band you could get your ass beat that happened yeah but he's a ref he's identifiably a ref well he's a pretty fit ref too he is a pretty fit ref but i'm just saying probably from all the hiking if they caught the tuba section on the wrong day maybe the ref gets it that's that's like not outside the relevant possibility here um i would also like to briefly congratulate arkansas for i assume you all saw that um after the nose biting incident arkansas had not won a single game they'd gone on oh and three uh but that ended today and they beat b yu so that shows you that you shouldn't bite noses but eventually it'll get better i think we got

we got a good tweet from our boy jerk wheat Oh, yeah, we did get a good tweet. Which was interrupted by BYU fans stopping and thanking him for coming to the game. Being polite. And Indiana lost to a quarterback whose name is Billy Edwards Jr., which is just the most, which is just the most little rascal shit you could ever possibly lose to. Billy Edwards Jr. Billy Edwards Jr. came in to this game because of an injury to the younger,

tug of a lot and he got carted off didn't he did he get an update on that I have not seen one now um but billy edwards junior oh for three passing five of fifty three rushing for a touchdown joining the pantheon of maryland grace

god indiana now three and four which seems too high except they've just lost four in a row hey speaking of the acc um do we have do we have a location on North Carolina?

They beat Duke. Or are you asking, or do you have a broader question about the state of Carolina as a football? Where it is? Yeah, sure, let's go with that. I think in relation to South Carolina,

it's very near. It's up. It's up. Okay. Yeah. UNC did hold on to beat Duke and has but one loss on the season. How does that make you feel? Hmm.

Okay. Hmm. All right. I think you broke me. Okay. I just, I see clouds. I see clouds in a pale blue sky.

Uh-huh. I just hear whistling wind between my ears. No, seriously, I'm not building to anything. That's fine. I think I just contemplated an abyss that was full of light instead of darkness, but it didn't make me feel at home.

Oh, that's the place where Michigan State wins a game in overtime. Another thing that happened today. It's weird in here. NF tuck on the comeback. Get it on the ground floor. To the moon, baby. Get on the latest ground floor. Also, Spencer, great job with your team today. North Texas, 475 rushing yards on 47 attempts.

You know, we're just doing what works. trying to get better one measure one bar at a time that's really all i'm trying to do here just trying to keep trying to keep the smooth jazz attack going uh is what we were doing we were just keep just keep tooting yeah no that's what we're trying to do we're just trying to keep those weather channel vibes smooth and easy and i thought we played with great rhythm today and that's what north texas football is right we get out the metronome we play with one heartbeat one band And then we close with Chick-Correa's Morocco. That's what we do.

Indiana briefly mentioned, I think, another important thing to notice, they are now the first school in the history of the world to ever lose 700 college football games. Wow. Not all it wants, to be fair. It took more than a century, to be clear. Wow. who's like do you know who's closest them

I guess I can pull it Winthropium look this up but like who did they who did they edge out for this distinct honor Will Must champs gonna do that he's gonna get hired and lose 700 games in 16

on say somehow like when he has to take the ULM list where's the ultimate bet you miss him right about now though don't you I do oh yeah they don't have an all time losses list this is outrageous Winzopedia sucks

it doesn't have all time lost Yeah, this isn't helpful, Winsipedia. I know that, where's Lossipedia? I think that's shut down, fullcast.com. This needs to be a section in haters upworthy, which we invented earlier this season. That is correct. All right, here we go. Win, loss records, losses.

It's not been updated, but, oh, my gosh, next stuff, it's perfect. Northwestern, followed by Rutgers. Thank you, God. Big Ten, Big Ten, really loading up on difficult, difficult, of. institutions, not at all, patting the records full of Ws for their teams that lose. Honestly, Indiana at this point should self-report some shit and be like, you got to take these games away. The results didn't happen.

Definitely didn't lose 700 games. If the NCAA says they don't do that, it's not true because they have done it before. They just don't usually do that. Would you make that a formal announcement at the next Indiana game? Bring somebody out and have a certificate and be like, to commemorate our 700th loss. Save it for Rivalry Week. save it for when you're playing Northwestern to end the season. Is that, no, they play Purdue.

Sorry, I take it back. You're the first team to lose to a team with 700 loss. You win free cocktail shrimp. How much do you suck? You can play this move with Northwestern because like they wouldn't dare fiddle with official paperwork, right? Homefield, make us 700 club t-shirts. Now that's the 700 club for me. Just give Northwestern a bag full of shrimp, like a garbage bag.

There you go. Room temperature, shrimp. I'm going to make her meme right now. Like Pat Robertson, no. Indiana, yeah, that's the 700 club for me. Wake Forest, Kansas, and Tulane are next up to join the club. But like Pat Robertson, they both need $5 million or God's going to call them home. That's right.

Also, they're all somehow still alive. Pat Robertson's alive? Yeah, well, kind of, yeah. in like a Warhammer emperor kind of way like when they got the soul saved ticker yeah they're all going straight into his blood that Robertson protects that we protect him

sounds like we're probably just about done with this podcast that sounds right oh thank you so much there's a lot of people still in here Spencer how's your phone charge it's almost dead It already was No, he has not plugged it in this entire time Yeah, what's the point?

Holly, is Tennessee going to beat Georgia? No. Okay. Stop that. I don't know. Okay. Are they going to beat Bama again in the title game? No, it's time.

Guys, guys, guys. I'm on tilt. It's time to start the old Miss hype train in the West. Yeah. Kentucky, let's see up. Just give us a second, give us a second because I got to be scared about Kentucky now. It's time.

Time to start. The Ole Miss is the most complete team in the West. I don't think that's true, but it doesn't matter. What about Tennessee, Bama, round three in the national title game? No, Ole Miss will be there too. Didn't, okay, I'm pretty sure that in the sequence of extrapolating Tennessee's future, somebody, and I'm pretty sure it was Jason, has actually posited the three-peat or the three-match. Yeah, we did this last week, yeah.

We have got to be more careful. Nope, disagree. Okay. These ghosts are cool. I say we make more of them. We cannot fight them. That's too many ghosts. There are too many ghosts.

God. All right. So just so everybody's aware, 7-0 Ole Miss now goes to LSU next week. And then the week after that, two A&M. And then they get a week off to prepare for a home game against Bama. Y'all, do we want to go to an Ole Miss game? No. I kind of want to go to an Ole Miss game.

No? Egg ball. No? Definitely not. it definitely not egg bowl definitely not egg bowl oh dude i really want to go to the egg bowl you you want to spend how you want to spend thanksgiving at the egg bowl

as opposed to what spending it with my family come on who's watching vanderbilt vandy's a scrappy not today actually if i if i go to the egg bowl i'm guaranteed do not have to watch a second of jimbo versus brian kelly i can just go to the egg bowl you could just not watch that game

do you know that you have do you know that you have control over your own life do you know that you have agency I'm not ready to have this discussion oh he skipped like the entire 330 slot gluing Warhammer models together in an unventilated room I was watching

I was watching the whole game the whole damn game unfairly attacked sure tweet about it on your phone that's dead I can't defend himself once you report me to the internet buddy it's on you're all fucked on

you're rue the day which is Sunday morning yeah gonna get on friendster and slay that's what I'm gonna do damn oh god eagles are undefeated too by the way go birds go birds all right and a go birds to you thank you if we are if we are done

you can thank everybody for joining us here at the full cast after dark I'm gonna say this that it'll go Go balls? Yeah, yeah, sure. That didn't sound comfortable. I don't know about that. No, no, just kidding.

This is awesome. Never in doubt. I have a loss. Good night.