Shutdown Fullcast - Fullcast After Dark: GOD-MONSTERS OF MINNESOTA

Episode Date: September 25, 2022

SHOW NOTES The “we don’t talk about Florida” rule almost holds! Amazing stats from … Middle Tennessee State Kansas rules the Big 12 thanks to a surprising kink How to disrespect Texas in your everyday life How to score 98 points and still be a gutless quitter, by guest podcaster Stephen F. Austin Bo Nix scared the other team this week Launching JMU’s national title campaign campaign Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fullcast After Dark, for men. Where does he go when this happens? Every time this man gets so loud. To the full cast, after. Darn! Roo! You are listening to the internet's only late-night recap show from the college football day that was.

and yeah, yeah. We're going to talk about it because we were playing Rocky Top because Tennessee beat Florida. What? You can hear that. Yeah, Tennessee beat Florida. That happened.

It was a good. Jason, the unbiased observer here, that was a good football game. As the... That's not a good football game. Arbiter here that can issue a ruling having no partiality or emotions whatsoever as to which team won in this.

this game, I will say this game was, uh, was really good. It was a good game. I can give it that. You know, like, I can't even be mad. Our mistakes were huge. There's, you know, like, like Florida they want them. That's how you want them. We didn't make little mistakes. No, sir. We made a big. Make them big. You know what? I want to be able to see him on film. Just in case some of the coaches are slow. Like, or I don't know, man, maybe that's just a good route. Nope. Very large mistakes. There were multiple times in this game where I looked up like, is this a dead ball type situation? Where is Florida's defense? Like, where is this play blown dead several seconds ago?

I saw, I saw the most open I saw someone today was in this game. The only thing that came close was in Baylor, Iowa State. There was a trick play so devastating that Baylor had a guy in the end zone with nobody within 20 yards. I mean, a lonely man. like so open he could properly be described as lonely that was the only person i saw who even came close to being as open as three different tennessee receivers were today yeah that's how you want it and yet both teams made grandiose errors because florida ended up kind of almost winning kind of it means you lost well yeah granted you lost but i won't say you

almost win. I will say you kind of almost won. Yeah. By the way, like shouts out to Hendon Hooker. Like massive praise, all kudos and plaudits to Hendon Hooker, thrown clear of the Virginia Tech program to seek Rosier Pastures in Knoxville, Tennessee, comes through, gets absolutely car crashed, crunched to the point where went into the injury tent. Everyone thought he was injured. And then he came out and just took over the game. completely. If there's one thing that you can really take joy in from this

team, it's that even without their leading receiver, Cedric Tillman, who missed the game due to injury, Hendon Hooker came out and absolutely, like, embarrassed Florida Defender. So, congratulations Hendon Hooker, a magnificent thing for you. Holly is just soaking this in.

I just remember to start recording local now. Oh, did you? Just in case we need that. That's Fascinating. Sorry, Doug. That is it. But if you are, but I am also the game that I want to talk about, like really want to talk about here, is I just want to talk about what happened to Arkansas at the end of the game. We're done. Okay. I'm going to go play Nintendo. Okay. So the hogs, the hogs played the Aggies and a couple of very bizarre things happened in this game. So I mean, I think the setup here is Arkansas, every single. year no matter how good either these teams are. Arkansas plays A&M. They build a lead, a multi-touchdown lead in the first half. Correct. They will lose. Everyone knows this. It happens every fucking year,

usually in overtime, sometimes not. Spencer, what happened this time around? As much as we live and die with our beautiful wampum boys, we at least get to watch Jerry die a little more in real time. Slowly, yes. It's got to be slowly because he doesn't have that far to get. man look at him I did say he looks like he's been dead for three days there's only so much more dying Jerry can do I beg to differ I got plenty more dying to do I'll show you sons of bitches I'll show you I'm dead or now I can die for decades I mean look at my look at my NFL

franchise I can die for years I mean literally he has been dying for over 20 years have they made the playoffs within this millennium right i don't know no one remembers i'm i'm full of life it's happening i hire mike mccarthy i definitely know things um what i would like to say about this game is that yes Arkansas always loses in this case uh two astonishing things happened to change the trajectory of this game one there was a touchdown play k j je Jefferson moving toward the end zone inexorably, right? Because when KJ. Jefferson moves, remember, it's kind of like the juggernaut at an Indian religious festival, right?

It's just moving at two miles an hour through a crowded area, right? Very slowly. And he's moving toward the end zone over the course of a good five-minute run, and he's about to breach the walls of the Texas A&M defense. And for some reason, he takes flight and stretches toward the end zone. Jason, what happened then? I don't know. I didn't see. You told me. Okay, I'm going to tell you.

The ball came out, okay? He didn't have to jump. He didn't have to leap or extend the ball. He reaches toward the end zone. The ball comes out. It fumbles. Around the 13-yard line, the A&M defender, who has the ball, realizes that he does not have the gas tank for this particular move, and he laterals it.

Like Ed Reed against Boston College, right? laterals it and the ball travels the remaining distance to the end zone in the hands of another A&M defender for a six-point swing that became a seven-point swing with the conversion of an extra point. That's a lot of weird for one team. But we're not done. We're not done. Those points seem pretty valuable and important, but Arkansas had a chance was within range of a game-winning field goal that is correct and yet and yet and yet uh Arkansas attempts to field goal the ball begins to care to just lean a little bit to the right intersects the right upright at the goddamn top okay attempts to land on top of the upright upright upright like like a

mother bird with a nest don't recruit your kickers from dude perfect all right do not recruit them from dude perfect because the ball landed right on top of the upright bounced it was sick bro it was sick bro it was sick bro it was

when you hit that we all went whoa it started high fiving every nine year old boy in America was like oh that's the greatest thing I've ever seen that's so good their father's going no son no you've been YouTube poisoned dad watch this YouTube video The ball touches the top of it.

Dad, watch this. Dad, please watch this. No, you need to watch it. No, wait. There's an ad. There's an ad. It's okay. Here, just stick through.

We can skip it in three seconds. It takes seven minutes, but it's so worth it. It's so worth it. By the way, 22% of conversation between the young and the old at this point is please watch this YouTube video. Please. Yeah, please watch this video of TikTok or YouTube, one of the two. Yeah. Or between.

and my friends. That's that's another thing. But the ball hit and then it bounced cruelly forward. As Joe Tessator himself said, because of course Joe Tess was calling this game, never even crossed the plane of the goal. Never went to cross the crossbar. Like just like illustrating the absolute astronomically minute chances that this would happen. However, Jason, you're saying, wow, I've never heard of that. Surely, this is something that hasn't happened. Has this happened before? Have you ever seen this before?

Not that I recall. And I've watched a lot of football. Like terrible football. Hey, Holly, has this happened before? That's what happened before? The ball reaching the top of the upright, bouncing off the damn thing, and then coming off. Gosh, Spencer, I don't know. Yes.

Yes, it has. It happened earlier this year. What? That is correct. Wait, Wyoming. That is correct. Tulsa and Wyoming. Heading to OT, Wyoming lines up and hits it off the top of the damn right upright.

It just hits it off the upright. For some reason, it's funnier when it happens indoors. This one, it is, this one was even wilder because it hit the top of the upright. right at like this one had some altitude the arkansas one had some altitude to it some real height it might actually be a bird yeah no outdoors this sucker this one this one was on a rope on an absolute rope and still same result bounce free if you watch it the deceleration that the ball appears to go through in order to land to alight a top of the upright is kind of amazing and seems improbable for something of the size and speed of a traveling football yeah

it really shouldn't be like this. But yes, it has already happened. It really shouldn't be like this. Oh, doesn't that cover a lot of today. The ball striking the top of the goal post, it calls to mind Jimbo Fisher's only good take ever that we should put lasers on the top of each post. But in this case, we didn't need it because hit the darn actual goal post.

I think there should be a button up there. And if you hit it, like streamers and steam guns, should go off like smoke guns right like yeah i like that much better than the this should be worth 100 points thing or this is an automatic victory thing i don't think it should be worth any points i think it should just start an alarm or something yeah just hit hit the pyro what if you lose both in zone shoot foam and you have to play the rest of the game in a foam party yeah like the nicolodean NFL games is what we do yeah i think it should do that or everybody gets a free tune to sandwich right Like your team just lost the game

But Subway provides a free tuna sandwich Legally they can't call that tuna Provides a free fish slurry sandwich To everyone in the stadium That is the sandwich that Jerry would spring for We know that much And it would be some A lemon juice in it, it's a preservative

It keeps it looks as young as I do I don't know what voice I was doing Jerry Jones fish paste sandwich. Go hogs. Yeah, rough night, rough night from a wamping hogs. But even then, remember what we want tonight? Reality. That's right. Now you're the bonk

in hogs. Yeah. Bunk off the top of the absorbing about what God thinks of rich men during these games. I don't know. I said he looked like Tom. I said he looked like Tom York's dad. That can't be good. He does kind of look like Tom York's dad. Yeah.

Arkansas, sadly, did wamp and did lose. They fall, two, three, and one. I just want to note, I propose to the internet that we, if,

when the ball strikes a goalpost, we've all agreed that's a doink. Now in honor of Arkansas, when a ball hits the top of the upright that is hereby going forward an oink. Oh. That's beautiful. I can't spell boy without what

That's going to be a bumper That's going to be a bumper sticker Somewhere in here Yeah I have a question for you You have a question Yeah what shirt are you wearing right now They can't see this on the space But what shirt are you wearing right now

Who me? Yes Okay I'm wearing a Kansas basketball shirt Unfortunately I know we're a football school I married into Kansas fandom. We are a football school. We're 4 and O, no surprise. No big deal.

It's normal. So that's the standard. But, you know, we're dabbling in basketball as well. I know we're in some sort of like year-long mercury and retrograde thing because the center of the college football universe for multiple weeks has been the state of Kansas because two things happen today. One, Kansas beat Duke in the naturally. your watch list most anticipated game of the day.

Yeah. And it was an entertaining game with like multiple legit highlights. I'm kind of used to KU football highlights being like they forgot how to spike the football. They forgot how to kneel down. These are things that have happened. But this time it was like a dude ran 85 yards working his ass off. He cared about getting to the end zone. and he was able to do it.

And like the biggest, like the biggest lay in the lumber form tackle I saw today was by a freaking Jayhawk. That's, that's not normal. No, not normal at all. Additionally, by the way, Jalen Daniels is quickly approaching triple option God status. Because really, like, KU runs an option-based offense and they do a lot of like triple option-y kind of stuff that they camouflage in a lot of different ways. but, like, there is this tier of dudes who run that at this point, like Grayson McCall of Coastal Carolina, who I hope is, like, not seriously injured

after walking off at the Georgia State game, but like him, old school, Dary and Hagan, guys who are very good at looking like they hand the ball off. The color commentator on this was Devin Gardner, who I did not know Devin Gardner was doing color commentary. If you don't remember Devin Gardner, he was last seen enduring some of the most heinous and hellish experiences, any Michigan quarterback has ever experienced as Brady Hoag's

punching bag of choice in the Brady Hoke era at Michigan. He was awesome, but he was like, y'all, Jail and Daniels, he's so good at the handoff. It always looks like he's giving the ball. I can't explain. I was like, no, that can't be true. No, he's right. He's right. Jaila Daniels always looks like, like the ball can be in the other hand visibly.

And you're like, nope, that's a give. That's a give. Devin was a super pleasant surprise because I remember interviewing him a few times as a player and I remember him being like super shy and I'm really glad that he's I hate to use the word blossomed because it's disgusting but yeah he nailed it this was great it is I mean it's cool we all all three of us independently noticed this like I usually do not pay much attention at all to announcers but also play by play guy Eric Collins I thought I thought both the announcers were like noticeably great in this game yeah and they i think it's because they were so good on such a shit assignment um elevate them please universe this was the game of the week this is a wonderful wonderful assignment anyone should be honored to be associated with due kansas i had the the new experience for me today was turning away from a kansas game because they were winning by too much i don't know if anyone has ever done that before i was like oh man this is getting kind of boring i better see if klimson

can pull it out against fucking wake forest that sounds but sure fine wake forest has been good for like eight minutes fine fine but i'm not used to let me see if clemson can hang against wake forest uh i i appreciate that clemson and wake forest making it interesting enough to postpone me watching the florida loss by five minutes i also appreciate sam hartman just making shit up the whole game sam hartman is an all-time legendary making shit up QB which he gets to do in that offense but like there's sometimes where

you go oh man you shouldn't throw that ball and it's out it's out there it goes Sam Hartman just went ahead and threw it anyway they just do shit they just as Richard and I have discussed this principle that there are football that are just like they just

and this is a technical phrase they just be doing shit back there Sam Hartman is one of those guys he's just doing shit back there I still, after three or four years of it, I still am not used to what I think Richard coined the the father walking the bride down the aisle option handoff they do. Or they're just walking side by side holding the ball together. And it's so fucked up.

It's like, you're, you guys get hurt. No, they gain seven yards. It's the weirdest shit in the world. It is the chicken handoff, right? Like, you're going to hit me? You're going to hit me? No! I am really glad that they did not do this

when ACC partner Pitt had Aaron Donald on the defensive line because there would have been deaths. Yeah, it's all cute until Aaron Donald shows up. That's not so much oily smears. Yeah. Oh, I get to break. Not only do I get to beat two blockers, I get to tackle two ball carriers at once.

Yeah, you're going to need a shop fact to clean that up. Just like streaks of sunscreen and blood. Yeah But shouts out to them also DJ Ongalai had a good game He had a very good game Through the game winning touchdown Which is hilarious because it was

Throw it to the giant tight end Who absolutely boxes out And knocks his defender away with his ass Like boxed out And then blocked his dude with his ass To get distance to catch the ball Yeah, that's what Wake Forest defense is for A little pick me up for

the same early shift you talked about announcers getting what they deserve I sort of feel like Mark Jones and Robert Griffin the third were made to call Auburn Mizzou because everything you need to know

about this game can be encapsulated in one quote from Mark Jones who described the Auburn and Mizzou special teams performance combined as raggedy there they're a fantastic duo somebody i forget who i regret search twitter you'll find it last week

referred to rg3 as college football's bill walton um and this week matt scolyssie called him uh and i think you should leave character sitting down the college football game he's he's fantastic man just like like the he's the um the version of just be doing shit he's just be just saying shit that's that's him i'm on the booth it turns out you can just say anything into the microphone and it'll show up on television. You're on my TV. Also, I enjoy him sort of baiting Mark

Jones out a little bit like, come on Mark. Let's loosen up a little bit, baby. Let's do it. At one point today, Mark Jones said something like what are we doing here? See, like, in past years, they've paired Mark Jones with like someone who like won't recognize his

song references or whatever. Right. Like he'll do stuff like that. whereas now he's the guy who's trying to keep up it's great like he has become the old man in the booth old isn't old isn't bad I would not have called RG3 as this dude prior to hearing them in the booth

like over the past year it has been a delightful surprise that he is the guy who I'm like ooh oh boy that's going to be a phone call that's absolutely beautiful. By the way, I saw that MTSU was in the space. Let's go ahead. Let's talk about MTSU, Miami, if you're listening. I know that's what you were doing. I know that's why you're here. Also, shout out to the official Sports Center account in the appearing in the chat. What's up? Yes. Yes. We can see y'all, right? Yeah. We're here to talk about MTSU. I want to start with this. Miami and the Mario Crystal Ball. regime. I think this is

familiar to anyone who watched Cristobal at Oregon. The end game stuff, it never looks as good as the recruiting rankings. It's just not, this is firmly an example of who I think at this point in his career and this could change. Sometimes you give

Mario like a nice prime rib or a good New York strip and he looks at it and goes, make a hamburger, boys. Make it hamburger. You're like, you should probably cook that. And the temperature test they're like nope hamburger let's grind it all up i feel like the problems in this one started way before the end game though like the the end game was okay they hill Miami scored three of the

last five touchdowns but however they were down 24 to 3 against wait wait wait wait wait let's just rewind against a mediocre conference USA team final score 4531 so they battle back somewhat against the team. Everyone made fun of like four days ago for extending their coach who goes above 500 every year. I think that's all you can ask of Mitsu. But here he is delivering on that massive investment of, I don't know if they pay him $9.25 an hour and kicking Miami's ass. If you score 45 points, 45 points, okay? and you only kick one field goal dude that that's six touchdowns how many first downs did mTS

you have on the night that's correct they only had 14 meaning all mtsu did was throw bombs that's it every time they needed a touchdown they just threw a 98 yard touchdown i'm not making that up They threw a 98 touch start. Their drive in the, in the third quarter was at the 1445 mark. I'm sorry, fourth quarter was Chase Cunningham passed complete to DJ England Chisholm, great name, for 98 yards for a TD. 98. That's it. Miami is like 11 plays, 12 plays.

MTSU, two plays. Touchdown. They were doing the other than the anthem. They were. bombs bursting in air That's all they did Mr. Cunningham on the day completed 16 passes for

480 yards Bombs bursting in air Bombs! Hit this man with a flexed bomb this sound effect because that's all he was doing all day long. His completions went for 25 and a half yards each.

A 98 and 89 a 69 and then some other stuff we don't even we don't even acknowledge big numbers only for for the blue raiders they were three for 12 one third down and they won by two scores and scored 40 bad points who they put in garcia to replace band tyke and people were cheering oh oh that's rough that's a um a historical historical question from one of the two Matt Browns who post college football history on Twitter from Mormon Matt Brown. What is funnier that Miami is now 0 and 3 against middle Tennessee? What? Yeah. Because they played back before Miami was the Canes. They played back

in the olden days. Notre Dame is it combined O and three against Yukon, Tulsa, and Marshall, or that Bama is O'N3 against Rice. The third one. Yeah, it's got to be that. That's never ever play them again never ever play them again never play them again rice i think you mean yeah um rice i uh out on top i think we should circle back to a game that um speak the concerns the state of kansas because uh we just spend a bit of time on this one um actually speaking of here is a stat from the uh from non-mormon matt brown um Kansas that i think at least uh Kansas state had 50 in the first 58 years of the AP poll, K-State had one win over a top-10 team. In the last four years, K-State has three top-10 wins, all against Oklahoma.

It's important to find a fulfilling and rewarding hobby. I love that. You can do well. OU fans are like, oh, thank God, Bill Snyder's out of here. We don't got to deal with that bullshit. anymore oh oh well uh lincoln riley's out here he now the new guy won't lose to uh oh they just can people from oklahoma love to lose to kansas state i guess they do it's a it's a passion evidently i didn't think about that or their kink yeah no this is their kink they're like

what i really want to do honey turn it to fox and hold me down by the neck until my face matches Snyder's windbreaker. Hold me, step on my throat and make me watch a 19 play field goal drive to people in purple. What I want you to do is I want you to get in the middle of fucking nowhere. Get a two-star juco linebacker, have it put on high heels and walk on my back. You know, you know how we completely own Oklahoma? How about you take their quarterback and have him look like a Heisman contender against us? Adrian Martinez, of course, who is 52 years old, according to the Google search box

that surfaced someone's shenanigans on Wikipedia, but it's not far off. No, he might be Bruce Feldman. We're not sure. He really might be. It's true. Bruce is spry. I don't even know. Like, he could do this. That's the word that you used to do. If you look at Adrian Martinez, you would describe him as sprightly. I get why you leave Adrian Martinez. College student.

He's limber. Look at him. He's a limber dude. I get why you leave Adrian Martinez unmarked, though, because the prospect of getting embarrassed by Deuce Vaughn and the open field is so mortifying that you just forget the quarterbacks back there. Duce Fawn is all of five, five. And when he embarrasses somebody, it looks like, it really does look like a middle schooler completely chewed you out of your shoes, which you don't want to have. happened to you. So yeah, I get it. I understand Oklahoma. I just love that Oklahoma is like very clearly leaving for the SEC just to escape Kansas State. Just fuck this. We're done with this shit.

This is stupid. If we're going to lose to a purple team, at least make it LSU. Like, no, we're tired of losing to this cow college. Like don't, which by the way, proud cow college. We're not saying that as an insult. K-State's like, no, man, we got nice cows. We got them pretty cows great cows we take two-star cows turn them into five-star cows we got we got winter cows speaking of five-star cows that don't deliver um

oh I can't wait to see where this is going go ahead can I tell you what happened to love in Texas tonight is someone else fleeing fleeing to the SEC did something happen to Texas this university that was not a state until after Tennessee was

a school every goddamn time we fall for this every Texas is back oh man who is we yeah who the fuck is we yeah who is this

not us speak for your fucking self one point the one point lost to Bama the inspirational loss like oh man that vaulted

that vaulted them into the top 25 that falls it in the top 25 well guess what brother the express elevator's waiting and it's got your name on it that's headed down because number 22 Texas went out to Lubbock against the three and one

and should be ranked Texas Tech Red Raiders and lost 3734. This, this by the way, included the funniest postgame video I've seen. We all had to guess like three weeks ago. You're like McGuart McGuire? McGirk. We know it now. We know it now. Don't add us. The funniest post game video, which is a first person.

perspective of somebody storming the field and turning around to flash the horns down directly in the face of hookum thought i would have shot i would have shot their hand off that's so disrespectful it was beautiful it was perfectly framing not only the face of plushy bevo or whatever we call that thing that's not yeah hookum yeah there's also two irate cheerleaders staring right at the hand as well this is absolutely perfect framing like it made it it It made me realize that when they are in the SEC, all I am going to do is Horns Down for fun. I'm going to do it by myself and empty parking lots. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it to like beef sitting in the meat freezer, right? Like I'm just going to. Actually, that should be a thing. Folks, when you're doing your, when you're doing your weekly grocery shopping, please stop by the meat department and tell Bifo what you think of Texas's performance as we've done. it feels so good i don't even hate texas even if you're if you're uh if you're a vegetarian you can go corn down i just like this um i love that they stric sand affected themselves into horns down being like this national hand sign for i like college football it's so fucking awesome like

they were such huge babies about it um and they tried to turn it into like we're living rent free in everybody's heads and like well we just think about how much you suck and like we think that's cool and we like to have we have this hand sign that we show each other that says hey i think texas is a bunch of big babies do you and then someone does it back because they agree and 129 teams and their fan bases find it delightful sorry yeah i mean everyone thinks you're really funny is that the kind of rent you want for free this is a recent development they did this to themselves. Hey guys.

Hey guys. Regional managers meeting. I'm really glad you're all here. The one thing I want to start with is don't talk about Steve sucking. I get really offended with people talk about me sucking. And that's Steve, but Steve spends like several days like, they're all talking about how much I suck. That means they're jealous of me. No, it means you suck.

The work slack has an emoji that is Steve sucks. Steve's face upside down is what it is. Steve down. I'm dropping a Steve down on him. Steve's not even here. Steve quit three years ago. Too bad. Too bad.

Hit him with the Steve down. Steve sucks. Steve down. You know what? Yeah, I go to Steve's grave and I go, Steve sucks. Hit it with the Steve down. Oh, you got Steve downed. Yeah, just like, yeah, everybody, listen, I got I BS.

I got IDS. I got IDS. Don't remember my iPS. God may be. Oh, not stevo. Here comes old brown pants, Dave. Pull in a Steve. Can we play a game real quick?

I would love the game. All right. I'm going to list some games, and you tell me which team will win, okay? All right. Texas, West Virginia. Oh, boy. Pass. I'm going to go West Virginia.

Okay. Texas, Oklahoma. Oklahoma? Yeah, I'll go Oklahoma. Okay, Texas, Iowa State. Iowa State. Iowa State, yeah. Texas at Oklahoma State.

Jason, I feel like you're going somewhere with this. I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to go, Oki State. I'm going to go Texas on that one just to be... Oh, a tie. Okay. Texas at this sooner-killing monsters. of Kansas State. Kansas State.

How can you bet against Kansas State at this point? It's illogical. Plus, wait, remember, this is the same Kansas State team that lost the Tulane. That's right. Last week! Yeah, I posted like, Kansas K-State is going to be the game of the year, and a K-State fan is like, how can you compare our achievements to theirs? You lost Tulane, settled down.

Everyone saw. Texas TCU, who you got? Oh TCU with the win over SMU today Ah fuck it Texas but it'll be ugly Okay

Another tie We have added up to One win for Texas Texas at Texas at Kansas at Kansas Oh fuck Kansas baby How do you bet against Kansas

Does Kansas have both of the best teams In the Big 12 right now They really might I said this a couple weeks ago And I was kind of kidding And I'm not really kidding anymore And finally, Texas Baylor. Oh, Baylor.

Okay. Wow. Looking at Texas's schedule, this was the remaining of the remainder of Texas's schedule, I was like, hmm, this team might finish five and seven, but we've parked him at three and nine. Well, at least they get to do their little choo song. Yeah, not during bowl season, though. No, no. I mean, I guess they can do it at home.

They need January off to Storm the Capitol. They can do it at home. I just want you to imagine this, okay? The family gathered around the big. white techie canada. White and orange tree. I've been working on

the railroad very racistly. And then imagine this, my ass in a Santa suit flying down the chimney immediately flashing double horns down first.

That's the first thing to appear out of the fireplace flu. You break both hands at the bottom, but it's worth it. Yeah. Worth it. Show up his fucking. Texas Scrooge

Except the bad thing about you is that you're not rich That's how Texas Christmas works Right yeah As their children unload the AR-15s They got for Christmas into me Right I'm like worth it

Totally worth it Texas Tech I want to note Their coach Johnny McGerkey after the game And now He had a hell of a speech It was a kick-ass victory speech

I was like Did he cut a promo He got a fucking promo He was like, I told you they were going to quit, and they quit. Like, God damn. He was like, he was like, he said, a reporter asked me if, you know, if I felt good about beating Texas. I don't care about being Texas. I care about being one and O in the Big 12.

It was like, goddamn, bars left and right. And then he said, we keep it up. We keep practicing. We keep getting better because everything runs through Lubbock. Like, what a nightmare scenario. That's a hell of a commute you set up there. for us sir imagine how many nuke nukes would have to be dropped throughout the great plains region for all of american shipping to be routed through lubbock and it's like we can arrange that

yeah i mean yeah i guess they uh they're they're feeling pretty positive toward the toward the red raiders today they can make it happen i will say that like i really prefer a football game where i don't see another team quit like if that's my own team like today i will say Florida played real stupid for large chunks of the game. I've never seen Florida sulk. That was weird. But they didn't quit. Like they were stupid and thrashing.

Stupid and thrashing to the end. They were on the verge of doing some quitting before Tennessee tried to hand the game back to them five or six times. Listen, right, I will take this moral victory. Stupid, not as talented as we should be fighting. That's fine. I'll take that every time. Arkansas, just really always sort of a perpetually under manned team. Like, Arkansas always has something where you go, did you guys forget to recruit a wide receiver for three years?

Yep. Just don't have them. Just doing fine without them, I guess. You guys could be eating beans and toast. I know, but we're out of toast. They're out of toast for years. Handfuls of beans. Just eating handfuls of beef.

Dry. Dry beans. Yeah, just dry beans. You could cook those. Yeah, but you know, we don't have fire. Gas got cut off years ago. Like,

and Arkansas just makes do, right? But if you're a team like Texas where I'm like, I know you have a top 10 recruiting class coming, I know you have to tell them to players, and you're getting cracked at Lubbock and their coach is coming out like, Quarters!

That's brutal. Texas has never in its life made due, right? No. If Texas goes camping They better have a fucking chandelier Like they better Like they need all the appointments And accoutrements and amenities

That you can possibly imagine In order to survive one night of camping Even Bama's never had to do that But even then they're like My panic room has a panic room And inside that panic room There's another panic room If shit gets real dire for Bama

They can still be powered by like spite and anger and shit Texas doesn't have that No man We need a fun You know what they need? they need a fundamental we need to go to outward bound for a semester we need to put them on the hero's path we need to do so take their money I mean I actually you know what I got a better idea and it even involves singing it involves singing and dancing yeah what a truly

diabolical stepmother of of my acquaintance did and send her and send her no account child to up with people for a year to tour is like up with people still a thing i hope not horn's down with people i truly hope not but yeah yeah like i like do something like that for a year let them learn true suffering yeah do the or you know what money in the bank match you know like texas tech i know just put up an unreal amount of money that is in order to demonstrate a commitment to a football program i'm not sure how much of that money is you know like in the bank and real why don't we make it that way why do we put let put some dollars up oh or better yet you're the Red Raiders.

Earn the nickname, Texas Tech. Like, if their coach is so fired up, talk him into robbing Texas's football offices tonight. He'll do it. He's like, I told you they quit. They wouldn't keep me out of the vault. I made it. So speaking of the great state of Texas

and of wrestling promos, Stone Colds Stephen F. Austin today. They put up 599 yards. Their opponent put up all of 141. Stone goal had a plus four turnover advantage, 28 first downs to 9. Got two safeties, a punt return touchdown, scored 98 points to zero. Because they were playing NAA, Warner University, the Royals of Polk County, Florida, a school with 1,200 students. Polk County's got a college?

Yeah, they were a resounding O-N-3 today. Last year they gave up scores like 76 and so forth. is this stone cold steven if austin had 98 points and a chance to hit an even 100 but they took a knee instead of going for two if you run up 98 points on me you better make it an even 100 like give me a story to tell my grandkids or whatever at least make me a trivia question yeah yeah that's some bullshit like if you if you're going to schedule a fucking n a ia team you division one team going down four levels put a round hondo on them and there's absolutely nothing merciful about about pulling up at 98, eat shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel virtuous for, oh, we, we, we kept it to double digits. What the fuck is that? No, y'all quit. You quit. Stone Cold wouldn't quit. Take that name off your university. Not like Stephen F. Austin at the Alamo, you quit.

You get, you got to change you. You know what Stone Cold did when he was in the sharpshooter? He passed out instead of quitting, all right? So you are no longer named after him. You know, I was, my kids are big into, like, Napoleonic history right now because, of course, they would be. They're both kind of like Napoleon. That's right. Perfectly average heights for their time.

Napoleon is, like, the king of that of quitting. Like, he is the biggest, like, hey, you quit on the team. Things got hard in Egypt and they didn't go well in, like, the African expedition. Guess what he did? He's like, I'm hot and he went home. He did. He was. He was like, I'm going to.

Yes. I'm going to steal some. antiquities and go home. That's what he did, okay? Hobby-loby. If it sucks after getting 100,000 people killed, hit the bricks.

He hit the bricks! And then when things got shit in Russia, and he lost all of his men, guess what he did? He hit the cobbles. He hit the cobbles. He hit the, like, yeah, the black swamp mud. He literally hit the skids of a sled

and went all the way back to Paris. So Texas football, Napoleon, notorious I would like to salute We got our sound now I have something that I really thought I would never say which is this Bo Nix elite quarterback That's right

Jesus, now what? Yeah, yeah, that's right I'm going to read you Bo Nix's line And you're going to see a new threat rising in the west a bright burning ball of gas and intensity of pure flame rising where the sun should not be a great feathered duck beast once a tiger planesman eagle duck now now morphed into a killing machine down to wazoo and then roaring back with a 29.4th quarter bone hits going 33 for 44 for four hundred twenty eight yards and three scores that's not what was happening when i looked at this game

when did they turn no they turned in the second half because at because because at the half it was 17 to nine wazoo was putting it on it when i turned this game off bo necks had just thrown a pick six that is correct the full bow necks experience right typically you you typically you typically you Typically, the Bo Nix experience ends there, the PICS six. No, no, we've written a new chapter in the POTS. I don't know. This is the typical Bo Nix experience. 428 yards?

Not that number, but it's the Pact 12. Like, numbers get weird. Like, the PICS and then good stuff. That's the Bo NICs experience. Are you saying that like dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, once we released him into an ecosystem that had no natural checks and balances for his power. He's now running loose in a different

environment. Are you saying Lane Kiffin is not a human licey independency? You're saying that he's the cane toad of the Pact 12. Like once we re- They lick him to oh, never mind. I've upset myself. I've upset myself. Please move on. Bowlicks.

Bolecks. That's right. Shout out to Bo Nix. I should do it work. to his continued campaign to inspire terror in both teams every time he drops back. Every damn time. A final score has rolled in the Unstoppable USC Juggernaut posted 17 points against Oregon State on a channel I have never seen and did secure the victory.

I don't know if you saw, by the way, in the Baylor, Iowa State game, I don't really want to note too much other than the trick play. And this, I saw Dave Aranda spanking some ass. Dave Aranda Yeah, as a celebration Dave Aranda's favorite thing is to just give you a goal Clap on the ass And Dave Aranda is fierce with it

So fierce that another coach lined up To get his ass pain Like yeah, Dave, get in there That's brotherly Chap them cheeks Let's go Coach I think I've earned one With the strength coach

And I know it had to be the strength coach looking on going yeah that's way too much pre-workout you know what too much pre-workout is whatever was happening there like yes frank you it's just a really good time um i want to uh circle back to one thing that happened during the early games i was watching clemson wake at the time i'm not sure how many games it affected but i gather it was a crossover event um Clemson Wake cutaway to show some baseball man he plays for the New York Yankees he doesn't pitch so therefore he's not the best player

because there's the really good hitter who also pitches is clearly a better player but anyway this guy for the Yankees almost has 61 home runs and for some reason the TV thought I needed to watch this with audio of him like grounding to first or whatever instead of a Clemson Wake touchdown and conversion and so forth. I don't know why. Sorry, I grew up in the 1990s on the National League.

I'm used to big, glorious, huge fat numbers into the 70s. Like, a 60-first home run means nothing to me, and I cannot imagine why I would need to interrupt Wake Forest football. I do want to bring up kegs and eggs proposed. If we're going to break into football games to show Yankee at bats, the least we can do is break into baseball games to show each Iowa Rutgers punt. Oh, yeah, we should get to pick, too. That would be the shootout between Iowa and Rutgers that hit the over.

This game was awesome. As an Iowa watcher, there was a point in this game when between touchdowns and safeties, Iowa's defense had found the end zone as many times on the year as the Iowa offense had. four each and the broadcast was great because like FS1 leaned into the pervert element they were like we know why you're here like they kept dropping like punter tale of the tapes

and like punter battle stats and like their final shot was the two punter shaking hands at midfield like let's give to people it was like it was like Tom Brady and Aaron Rogers meeting at midfield it was like let's go to the real stars of the game thank you for the real meet whoever directed this game yes this game did hit the over the over was 34 and a half points uh-huh go count how many teams

did that by themselves it did it via a doinked in field goal that is correct bank shot bank shot and needed multiple iowa defensive touchdowns just to get there in the first place perfection if iowa's record is sullied by an over this is the way i needed it done what a what a beautiful moment for our sport. I want to check in on another team that I am tracking this year. Colorado. You know what? I was just looking at that because I was going to say they rallies for an unprecedented outburst

of offensive productivity, totaling 19 first downs, actually racking up some yardage on the ground to challenge UCLA and lose 45 17. Their first time all year going over 13 points, yeah, they already were on pace to be the worst Colorado team ever with sports rating, sports reference SRS, making them an underdog by a touchdown, even against Colorado's previous one-win teams. And Colorado then underperformed expectations against UCLA. That number will get bigger and worse because they failed to cover a 22-point spread at home against a UCLA that, Their record looks nice. I'd like to talk about somebody who's disappointing. My team!

Is this the tar heels? Is that what you're talking about here? Yeah, Notre Dame had just been saving these points. Drop on Matt Brown's skull. They scored 45 points. Notre Dame couldn't pee past their shoes for several weeks in a row. And yet, against the North Carolina tar heels, when they heard Gene Chisig defense.

scheme bolted upright like the undertaker and just started hitting the bricks man their eyes lit up they started patting their hungry tummies they did they got the they got the internet laser eyes on like they scored 45 damn points on mac brown who had certain points in this game whenever i flipped over looked like they were about to punch the security guard at the pigly wiggly Please, the food lion. I'm sorry, the food lion. He looked so irate at every single juncture of this game. And I know he's going to be like, well, that wasn't my fault.

Mac was ready. The team didn't follow him. He's following, another person following suit in that respect, by the way, is Dana Holgerson, who after Houston's lost today. And they did lose. They lost badly today. uh to uh or they i'm sorry they won by like a score yeah i was going to say god damn they lost to rice that's no they did not but but you know what 34 27 rice yeah he said at one point in the

press conference dana holgerson said i'm tired of motivating these guys it's crap like he sounded like a dude who's done with life like thanks coach Thanks, coach. Good job, man. I want to go down the list of other people who seem to be done with their particular spot and or might be, I don't want to say fraudulent, but I do want to say people who signed their contracts at perfect times and did great work in winning at the boardroom and not necessarily on the field. The Minnesota Minnesota won 34-7 over Michigan State, y'all. Yeah, so these are the Secure the Bag All-Stars joining Jimbo Fisher

in that, in that pantheon. NF Tuck. Fitness. NFTuck is a get-in-now pricing. Ride the dip. Hold. Diamond hands. Walk a mile in these shoes.

That is correct. Michigan State had 38 yards. There you walk in these. imaginary shoes they cost seven thousand dollars uh 38 yards rushing that's how far you're going to be able to walk in your imaginary nf tuck shoes is 38 yards that's that's how far they got i'm looking i think every team in michigan scored more points today that's not good yeah no that that's real bad and that because there's a lot of really really bad but uh yeah and if if enough tuck with the with the 80 billion dollar guaranteed contract on par with jimbo fisher

that's good hustle yeah yeah uh quietly by the way get the get the fuck out of the way of the james madison dukes get the hell out of the way of these regal bulldogs because they beat app state 32 28 in in boom right let's just go ahead and plant this flag now if jm u goes undefeated in the regular season and the nc a does not give them a postseason waiver to participate in the sunbelt title game or a bowl game hang the fucking flag claim the national title jm u do it do it if you get if you get past everyone you beat coast carolina i better see a parade there's no longer we will be the marshals yeah you would have completely earned it i have completely earned it i have a number that i suspect is fraud cal scored 49 points today i just want to note that and say that i need

this independently verified i i i felt like the theme of this week in college football this was sort of the one where you look up and you realize like oh every team is bad right like oklahoma lost u sc look like garbage i use look speculatively because no one saw it um yeah tennessee as noted tried very hard to lose kentucky and old miss barely beat the you know michigan uh struggled against maryland despite spotting them a touch touchdown and Georgia the juggernaut of all juggernauts the team that's going to barrel over everything they led kent state by 10 points in the second half so uh i think we reached the point in the year when almost every team is bad

i think there are 128 bad teams and the good teams are minnesota jm u and kansas that's it yeah i'll take washington too let's just throw washington because no one to watch them because all their games happen right now at 1 a.m. Eastern. But Michael Pennix Jr., baby. Yeah, all right. Let's add Washington. Yeah, I wrote this list several hours ago, and Washington has since played a game, so. Yeah, currently, uh, currently leading Stanford 27 to 7 with four minutes and change left in the third quarter. By the way, the scary, the scary thought I had today, which is, yeah, Ohio State's real good, but I don't think playing cramberts is really going to prove a lot. And that's, that's not really like, I don't want to insult Graham Mertz.

I just want to be like, I don't think Ohio State, I don't think the answer to let's go point for point with Ohio State. You're like, it's Mertz time. No, it's not. You're not really, if they get up by two scores, you'll never be able to make up that point in French. So you might as well just punt because Ohio State's going to score points. The one team that I looked at today and thought the scariest thing happened and I need to like make a note of this. In order to beat Georgia, you're going to have to have that one game. You're going to need Georgia to have that one game where they just fuck up and turn over the ball a lot and seem kind of disinterested and out of sorts. And I'm worried that we just got that against Kent State.

Like they decided like, hey, we're going to have our worst game. Let's do it against Kent State. Get it out of the way, guys. Okay, we're good now. That was it. That was your window. there you can't state to the window well they couldn't make it through that's it let's see who plays who plays georgia next who gets to find out firsthand if this is true next week georgia plays oh god oh no oh no there you get sorry for leading you into this so we so we get mazoo scoring let's let's say four points um not not not Not two safeties, just a field goal. And then Auburn, they're going to be without a coach by then, surely, right?

That would be, I'm sorry, Hader. That'd be the three and one Auburn Tigers. They're going to fire him after a win. You just know it. Auburn fans complaining tonight that they're going to have to put up with Harse for another week. They'll find a way to fire him after a win. They can get it. I believe in Auburn.

If you did not see this game, one, congratulations. because Michael Felder added bleachers on Twitter the God. Today was one of those days where you know exactly what game Felder's talking about. Yeah, because normally he gives you no clue what he's watching. It just says it. This is what he

described it as. This is remarkable. No one is enjoying it. No one likes this but it is happening to all of us. It was insane to me. And everyone was like, yeah. So many people were watching this game. It was at the same time as like Clemson Wake Bangor Barn burner. Everyone was watching took out baseball and cheeses channel okay maybe that's it baseball drove people into the arms of

Auburn Missouri that's the worst review of baseball I've ever heard that's how desperate we are to not know whatever is going on with the Yankees I want to just describe what happened here because the facts are all I really need Auburn went for a fourth and one in field goal range they did not get a fourth and one the ball went over to Missou Missou hits a lottery shot down the field gets in field goal range and then misses completely misses their large son of a kicker whose last name is mavis misses then Auburn lines up for their OT their one OT1 field goal and misses but then gets to do it again because Missou is off sides but it's still it's still possible to win this game, and in fact

looks likely as Mizzou is running back rushes toward the end zone and then fumbles the goddamn winning TD through the goddamn end zone. This was the only part of this game I saw was dude reaching ball toward ends, which I don't even think he needed

to do. Like I think he could have just dove into the end zone, but I'm I wasn't the guy holding the ball what would I know? But reaching the ball toward the end zone and just dropping it. just dropping it, just whoop through and thus putting the ball into the phantom zone that exists or the offense only, right, that you fumble the ball in the end zone and they're like, pooh, it disappears. That's the worst thing you can do.

That's the worst thing a football player can do. We must punish the shit out of it. Yes. Fumbling in that one spot. It went into negative land. It's the most magical territory in the football rule book is when you fumble. to the end zone. I'm like, who, what happens?

You're like, and now it's a cricket match. Everybody grab a bat. We can't risk this happening again. Give the other guys the ball. Make them go the other way. This place is closed off. This is a radioactive crime scene. I'm so clean.

It's a sour ground. I'm convinced there's like 1910, like minutes from a meeting between Walter Camp and Teddy Roosevelt where they're like, perhaps we shoot the man. If we shoot the man who fumbles to the end zone, they'll be dissuaded. And thus redouble their efforts to hold on to the O'Blade spheroid. It could be from that era when, like, trying to score a touchdown with your offense was frowned upon when the smart strategy was to punt on first down and wait for them to fuck up. Like, this was an actual, like, 20-year era of college football. So it might have been during that era when it's like, no, don't go toward your own end zone, idiot.

Yes, yes, you'll get tetanus down there. We don't have a cure for that. Yeah. What do you mean you get tetanus down? there sorry Jason go ahead speaking of speaking of treating the end zone as if it has tetanus Northwestern has now lost to Duke an FCS team and a somewhat lesser Mac team losing to at least one Miami had a good day Northwestern which is in this beleaguered state still has to try to score points against Penn State

Iowa Wisconsin and the god monsters of Minnesota like odds are really decent Northwestern's gonna finish oh and 11 in the Western atmosphere. Yeah, but you know what? Still got that one win in Ireland. That means we're a corporation. All of Pat Fitzgerald's earnings. That's right.

Tax-free. It's like Microsoft, Google, and Pat Fitzgerald. This is like, this is like literally old school, like 1979 Northwestern. Like this is, this is the Northwestern of legend right here. This is none of that, none of that going nine and three while scoring 12 points, Northwestern. of the last decade. No, this is just straight up scoring 12 points northwestern. This is a debacle. It's not the biggest debacle of the day. Just a little quiet debacleing happening on their home turf in Fort Collins. Colorado State, every time you say, hey, man,

listen, every time you say about your football program, hey, listen, man, can't get any worse than this. Colorado State falls through the bottom of the coffin, right? Like, this is, they keep going lower and lower because yes last season stevedazio did just just leave he just just kept walking right out of the stadium he didn't actually do that but it looked like it and you thought man the program must be in a bad shape they lost to sacramento state it's not it's not an fbs team it is a big sky team though it is a big sky team that's right hell yes big sky conference appears to have left the chat though unfortunately that's yeah you know what they're doing they're celebrating

surrendering to the Southland Conference is the Conference of the week, sorry. Yeah, no, you outlasted them. Sacramento State beat Colorado State at home. Well, that sometimes happens. Sometimes an FCS team just comes in and I don't know. They're better than you think.

You didn't scout them well. Got to get better. This is what gamers might call a skill issue because this is a 4110, 4110 final. Sacramento State beat them by 31 points. I appeared on an NFL podcast a few weeks ago before the season. It's called Split Zone Duo.

And they had a game on there that I won last year, by the way, that this time around in the draft of FCS teams that will upset FBS teams. I was wise and shrewd enough to select Sacramento State to defeat Colorado State, so I'm on the board. I did not expect this this type of resounding victory 41 to 10 I thought CSU would be pretty decent

by this point in the season honestly after Jay Norville imported all of his best players from his previous team I thought they would be like starting to come together as an okay average Mountain West team no they look like Steve Adazio is still in the walls he might be

he's a big guy so he does kind of have he does kind of look like a shmoo like you get the sense that he could slink through pipes undetected just in here being a dude in the pipes like a really agroche moo what's better than pipes dudes dudes dudes in pipes dudes be in pipes pipes being dudes uh i'm being told allegedly northwestern does have a win in the western hemisphere fine it's fine yeah yeah does that interfere with the tax status of pet

i don't think so i think the main thing still the main thing okay good we should also note we should also note this current scores of interest in the fourth quarter b yu is leading wyoming 2817 i saw craig bull run and try to call a time out any man over 60 running looks like a contraption that's the best way to describe any man over 60 running they look like a contraption utah and arizona state problem solved 31 6 Utah fire herm my favorite but by the way there's an accusation that was one line in that athletic article about the downfall of the herm edwards regime in tempi and it said that yes staffers were rumored to have leaked information about the program and about their plays to other programs in order

to hasten change in tempi okay i want to get this clear that's not normal that's not good okay that's bad it's probably bad and everyone who did it like that should probably be something that should be discussed in your next coaching interview is how or why this happened. It would not be good or a great thing to discuss with somebody who's trying to hire you to be like, are you going to undermine me and leak plays? Having said that as a viable strategy for the opponent, how complex do you think the locks were on the mind palace of Perm Edwards? What genius do you think you were going to get out of. of the intricacies of, I don't know, you should tackle. Play a 4-3 and tackle. You're not going

to believe this. Cal, or whoever we're playing this week, but our coach thinks it's 1994 NFC Central. He's probably going to run on first down. That's it. You know, if you get the plays, you're like, this is just the NFL Blitz playbook. No, we're not going blitz. No, no, no. Sorry. bomb is not in there. We're going Atari, N-E-S. Atari NFL is where we're going with this one. The bomb is not in there because Utah is going to win. And that lady will not be forced to resort to setting off nukes.

I don't know. She might have her top on this time. It's up to her. I don't really care either way. But the good thing is she will not be setting off nuclear power plants. For all the ship that we have talked about, Alabama, L.S., you are Arkansas fans. over the year at no point have I seen any of them topless at a game or threaten

actual nuclear warfare. Step it up. Step it up because Utah is outpacing all of you. The half new nuclear bombers of Utah fandom. I wish to consider. How do you respond in times of crisis

when you're under an existential threat, Jason? Okay. Some people get calm. Utah, with the collapse of the Pact 12 impending, have decided to just go full hardo in every way Utah is either going to get nude or set off an extinction level event it's up to you all I'm saying is that sounds SEC grade right there let's go man like we made the case for many years that they're the most big 10 team in the pack 12 because

of the way they play football no you can't have a big 10 you waited too long you didn't want them you didn't want them you expanded west and you hopped over Utah to take UCLA you idiots come on home, Utes. Come on home. Yeah, come on. S-E-C-S-L-C. Uh, seeing seeing the signs here. SEC punks. Yeah.

Yeah. Just nude and nuking. That's it. That's how we like them. That's how we like it in Utah. That's amazing work. They're kicking the shit out of Arizona State. And yes,

Washington now up 30 to 7 over Stanford and oh no I didn't neglect you look at you San Jose State beaten western Michigan 24 to 6 here on the late shift do we have any interesting questions we want to take if there are any in the chat do we have anything we have missed Spencer do you know how to look at the chat I'm looking at it right now oh okay plus and surprise yeah no I see that the big sky conference did ask a question right if Michigan counts Colorado State why can't we Jason I made a joke about Colorado State being barely FBS I would never begrudge the big sky conference

actually I would because they didn't stick around oh they're back oh excuse me I love the big sky conference they did perfect great work today perfect conference great work and equally as good as the Southland conference in every way yes yes apparently Sacramento State by the way was favored in that game by 4.5 that's not good that's not disappointing they only cover 26 and a half once is it bad if you if you the fbs team are a a somewhat sizable underdog at home against an fcs team and then you lose by almost 10 times that much i think

that's bad seems terrible seems terrible yeah i i am i am good i think that uh what have we learned this week I learned that I thought, you know, if you think watching a game is a bad idea, you're probably right, because I watched Auburn Mizzou and I thought, well, that's probably going to be a bad idea. And it, listener, it was so much worse than I imagined. Okay. So again, if you think you're in danger, right? You know, like the gift of fear. If you think you're in danger, you probably are. And if you think you're in danger of having a bad and confusing time watching Auburn Mizzou, it's not that you're, right it's that you're more right than you can possibly imagine yeah um the thing i learned today is first of all that almost everyone is bad the other is you know you know how that like that take people have when they're like the teams that were good when i was 17 college football is just better when those teams are good like you know that take everyone has yeah i've discovered the version of this that is actually accurate which is college football is just better when Kansas is good because in my lifetime that's 2007 and right now and that's it suits me

that's true find the lie if you take 2007 as like the bellwether of all that is great in football you're completely right also lSU losing like three games and somehow being the national champion that's what's going to happen I know if they only lost two that year this year with the playoff? Come on, man. We can get three. When we expand this thing, LSU's going to win it with like seven losses. Brian Kelly's listening. He's very intrigued. He's in the chat right now. Last comment from Josh Cromwell. I just need to report that the BYU Cougar mascot was just on my TV dragging his butt along the ground like a cat trying to express his glands. Carry on. More mascots should act exactly like the animals that they represent.

Just a badger attacking people in Wisconsin randomly. Harry, dog, stop licking your butt. I'm a character. Sorry, I'm a method guy. I can't help it. I'm not even sure those foam versions of them could lick their own, like, arms. Yeah, we got to install, like, extra flexible suits for that. Well, you know who might try that and quit?

That's right. Hook them. I'm doing horns down right now. just yeah all right let's let's send the folks out of here on a big horns down everybody just everybody in the chat needs some horns down figure out a hornstown emoji we're big cow and we don't like you yeah if you've made it this far to 1 15 a m on the east coast congratulations you uh join people like yes mike golic junior like morgan what's up morgan a podcat uh hello carston long time listener carster jib prosser it's up man uh thank you for making it this far yes the big sky

conference the greatest college football conference in america i think one of the two one of one of the two that is wrong with the southly yes and i'm sure uh utah football fan quietly listening probably in one of my cabinets in this room right they're not quiet nope no nude nude and waiting to spring with a kryptonite ray uh thank you for joining the full cast after dark uh hey holly your team won today do you have anything you want to say before we go go gators good night good night