Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK - IT'S BUTT WEEK Y'ALL / DIAMOND HANDS DON'T KNEEL

Episode Date: October 8, 2023

SHOW NOTES Wwwwwwwelcome to Butt Week! Why is it Butt Week? For one thing, Baylor played Texas Tech. For another thing, well, look at the scores. Iowa State also played a small part in the visuals of Butt Week. Thank you, shimmering gams of Iowa State. You will note the absence of much USC-Arizona content. Most of the stupid parts of that game took place after we finished the show, believe it or not. Come back Wednesday! The stupid stuff in Georgia Tech-Miami, however, all takes place live right at the top of the show! Come on in! Don't let all the late-night tomfoolery obscure the memory of a truly great Red River Shootout Y'all took Jimbo's papers. You took Jimbo's papers, and just look what happened. He’s got anxiety. Nick, on the other hand, now has many papers, and is very happy Don't worry, Notre Dame; we'll get to you Kentucky, thank you for thinking of our needs Possibly the nicest thing we've said about Nebraska in show history A brief playoff baseball interlude Welcome back to October Maryland Iowa's hot dog cannon malfunctioned, and you know what that means: We get to do voices Finishing up the night with a unique crypto opportunity Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Full cast after dark for men. Welcome. Wow. To the full cast after dark for men. After dark. But, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, it's Cheeks week. Oh, man, boy. Holly, why is it Cheeks Week?

Well, it was Cheeks Week in four ordained sense in that Baylor and Texas Tech are playing. It is Cheeks Week in that Iowa State, if you have not seen their uniforms, are going around just Winnie the Pooh it up and down the field and it's week because today has been witness to a number of ass kickings and the day may not be over yet looking at you USC yes just live update here I believe the score is Arizona 10 USC no it's worse now it's worse now no it's no it's no that was a minute ago sorry yeah I need to refresh my screen nothing now I when I posted the link on from the full cast account

I made sure to note join before Arizona scores again fortunately a lot of people did but if not if you think we don't

speak things into existence just look at last week when we called Missouri a complete team and said

nice things about South Florida yeah those were true at the time however given new data I would like

to revise my sentiments and judgments The Decision Desk has an update. USF, Cheeks. So responding to commenter Joshua Fielding, I think it's perfectly appropriate to have Parents Week

clash with watching Alex Grinch football because he's getting sunned. Missouri's run defense, decision desk update, Cheeks. Just Steve Kornacki flying in on a vine, like, who drops in. Their ass! Their ass!

Their ass! Hey, I don't know how Georgia Tech's got the ball back for 26 seconds to go. Come on. Are we really going to do this? I, we? Do what?

We as a society. Listen. Oh, no, it appears we really aren't. So that was a good bounce pass, though. Okay. No, we're not doing that. 100%. Also, those Miami uniforms are too sick to lose in.

I'm sorry. The refs need to, like, stand in and be like, no, no, no, that good play doesn't count. All those times we talked about opening a Christian laser tag arena. This is exactly what it's going to look like in there. These Miami uniforms are like, wow, Miami, you worked so hard to find every

collectible to unlock these uniforms on whatever fucked up PS5 game this is. Yeah, like this is some sort of Oh no! Update, please. What's that mean? Georgia Tech, what?

14 seconds left, Georgia Tech completed a long pass. They're past the 50, 12 seconds to go first and ten so you're saying it could still happen okay you're only down by three before we get to the extreme amount of cheeks let's just know what ryan let's talk about what you said not to do before we started the show which is if we wait until the end of the game georgia tech will fuck this up so we just start the show now did say that uh let's talk about the red river rivalry the most the most fun you can have short of red river Short of watching two neighbors who you don't really like shoot bottle rockets at one another.

Or shoot one another. Or that. Yeah. Like maybe, I think maybe we binged early this weekend because this was the best shit I'll watch. I don't know. It's maybe the best game I've seen all year. Really. Like, it's fantastic.

Come on. Immediate chaos. No. I'm sorry. I'm being informed by the chat that Georgia Tech has scored touchdown. For once, Spencer, you are being derailed by other people. This is what it feels like. With what appears to be a second to go, Georgia Tech has thrown a 44-yard passing touchdown that will almost surely give them an upset victory over the previously perfect Miami Hurricanes. Mind you, Georgia Tech

lost badly to Bowling Green last week, and Bowling Green is very bad. Is it still Scott Leffler? Yeah. I also love... Bowling Green this week got shut out by Miami of Ohio. I'm being informed that Miami could

have knelt that out. Yeah, they could have, and instead they fumbled. And yes, to the commentary pointed out that Miami, Florida now has a transit of loss to Miami of Ohio that is correct. Mario, I've been defending you for so long, my man. Even though Miami beat I know. They have the most elusive of all achievements, which is the transit of loss and direct win to the same team. So Miami has beaten themselves. That's correct. Miami is, Miami has human centipede in

college football. They've been the infinite fap. They've won, yeah, they've won the war of self. Congratulations. You are now the master of all samurai. The only way to win the war of is to lose the war of self. Damn, bro, that's deep. Sorry, I think it's a Miami representation in here. I'm sorry, we're just going to need a few minutes. Maybe we add music into this later, while we all just sit here and stare at the screen, right?

I just, okay, all right. We can get back on track. We can do this. I don't think we can, but we can try. I don't feel bad at all. It feels easy to get back on track. I don't know what the only history happens on the show. If by on track we mean talking about Red River, all we do is say,

so let's talk about Red River. So Red River was whatever whatever the last four plays of Georgia Tech Miami was. It was that game reversed. It was started there and escalated. Yes, that's where we started out in Oklahoma, Texas. Texas scored off a blocked punt. I think Texas threw an interception on

either its first or second play from scrimmage Texas had first and goal from the Oklahoma 1 ran twice for nothing passed for a loss I think

and then passed again for one yard and got absolutely stoned yes by the way after they brought the big boys in after they brought like sweat a 300 and 40 pound or 360 pound defensive tackle. Yeah. After they brought all the big dudes in and they still got nada.

It was breathtaking. It was not great. It was sublime. I don't know what you're talking about. That was amazing. Well, it was not great if you were a Texas partisan, let me say. Okay, yeah. Because like the thing that made the difference in this game,

there is a game-winning drive. we're Dillard Gabriel in the span of a minute and two seconds, by the way. Not even a minute and two seconds because they gave Texas back 15 seconds. So, you know, about 47 seconds takes them all the way from the OU 25 straight to the Texas end zone for the game winning score. That's cool. But the thing that absolutely beat the shit out of Texas was the OU defense. The OU. Yes.

Yes, yes. With, there is a caveat to that. A lot of yards. A lot of yards. But, and, and a couple of big plays that Oklahoma couldn't, couldn't catch up to. But like, very sturdy in the red zone. And made, and, and made Texas have to do a lot just to get 30 points. Just to get 30 points. And also three turnovers, tons of pressure on Quinn Ure's. He was harassed all day long, really only had like, a lot. couple of spells of looking super comfortable before they'd just go back to confusing them again. Texas had to break out the fake punt in the first quarter. Uh-huh. Sacked him five times. If you wanted the Bret Venables, like the dazzling Brent Venables confusion machine where you're like,

oh, that's covered too, pre-snap. And then you're like, ah, it's plaid afterwards. That they're there. They're there. Oklahoma is more than capable of that, which like, like no small achievement here. I know they allowed a lot of yards. but when was the last time you remember Oklahoma having this defense? Like I had to think back to like 2000s-era Stoops teams, not even 2010's era, but like 2000s-era

Stoops teams the last time I can remember Oklahoma having a defense this capable and this malicious. So like it felt like both of these teams were getting just a ton of pass rush and it felt like Oklahoma managed that much better than Texas did. Like Dylan Gabriel was very clearly under pressure. and feeling it, but able to navigate, and they sort of just went with a take what they're giving us kind of, kind of attack, and it worked. They had, I don't even know how many scoring drives of however many plays there, cite that

research, but like, it felt like Oklahoma, every drive was just like, okay, eight yards, nine yards, you know, like up and down the field all day long with without a lot of, like their long was 44, like not a lot of huge broken plays. but yeah just just careful and methodical and like yeah the big difference there by the way for oklahoma was uh dylan gabriel's feet it because it was also it was also that texas turned the ball over three times and Oklahoma didn't turn over once and if you count and if you count the like fourth down stop like that's another turnover frankly we like to say forced three turnovers right you're right you're right yeah and oklahoma didn't uh throw those

turnovers because of Dylan Gabriel's footwork there tied together and his feet yeah but Dylan Gabriel was the leading rush he had 113 yards and every time they really needed another sort of every time they needed a play you know they like one of their default plays on third down was QB draw yeah it was QB draw because it was open every single time because Texas was really trying to pressure him and one thing you can do when you're getting a lot of pressure is just run past it we there you go I just like that so um because both teams look capable and competent that means this was an SEC game. None of that big 12 crap, right? So I just like that both of these teams that are capable of like playing stiff defense up front and all that, that they're going

to come show like LSU how to play football, right? That's right. That's right. Like demonstrate what defense is to LSU. Yes, LSU you won today. Finally. It's about time. By flexing defensive muscle. By only giving up 39 points. Yeah. And by getting a pick six. Yeah. That's like the game breaker there is a pick six that is not the game breaker you don't think no no the game i'm going to go find it uh because i want to get this right i i saw maybe the weirdest fourth down decision i can remember in a long time near the end of this game this is on this ends up being uh mazou's second to last drive so they get the ball with three minutes to play down three and within two plays they are in LSU territory. They had a good, they had, uh, uh, yes, yes. They,

they immediately just start moving the ball. They're at second and one. They throw an incomplete pass. They're at third and one on the LSU 41. Again, they only need a field goal at this point. There's a false start. Then on third and six, Brady Cook is sacked and fumbles and they lose 26 yards. So it's now fourth and 32 on their own 28. There is a minute to play. And importantly, Missouri has all three timeouts. What would you do in this situation? Fourth and 32 at your own 28. Oh, I punt. That's not what happened. If you, Jason, if you weren't going to punt, what would you call? Run. Uh, that's not what happened either. they called a like hook and ladder that it didn't appear half the team even knew was going to happen

okay so they got the ball out like just like a real fire track yes they got they got like 20 yards on it which was not 32 and gave gave lSU the ball back and held but then because they they stopped lSU on three plays but then they fucking punted it down to like the Missou 3. And it was just, it was so baffled. Like, I didn't understand what the logic was of like, let's try to pick up fourth and 32 instead of punt and hope we can get a stop. Sure.

It was very strange, very, very strange. Yeah. But I, but yes, that's that, that, that is where I think it all fell apart personally. By the way, they did that. And then, uh, Brady Cook threw a pick six. The shortest pick six you've ever seen. Yeah. from the Bazoo 5.

Yep. It was Girkin. Yep. Yes, a 17-yard pick six. So, yeah, Missou, we said you were good. The full cast welcomes you. You know who's good as Jaden Daniels? Yes, he is.

And Daniels is fucking awesome. Jane Daniels, Jane Daniels had 259 yards passing three TDs. No picks. 130 yards rushing on 15 carries. He hopped over a blocker. one of his blockers ended up on the ground and he just like leapt over him like Mario jumping over how does this man always end up in the air yes he just wants to be free he wants to be a bird yeah he he had one hit he didn't even he took pretty good care of himself today and he still

took a horrible hit like he got into the end zone it was like oh okay cool you know scoring a touchdown this pretty cool jaden daniel's time and then a muzoo player just spears him in the lumbar like just it probably cracked a rib or something yeah and then he just did then he went off after the that like my god yeah so even when he's taken care of himself apparently football just has it out for jane daniels

um which has not affected him one bit because because here he is still putting up almost 400 yards of offense by himself for a team that badly needs it because they cannot defend his diff breeze or 57 minutes or any other breeze. Yeah. Slow breezes,

cool breezes, any of them. Yeah. So now we sit in where we thought we all would, with Alabama at the top of the SEC West. Yeah. I was thinking about how if you had just not watched any of September, you'd look up like, oh, everything's normal, right? Yep, yes.

Oh, so we're on pace for Vama, Georgia. and Ohio State Michigan to be the most important games and Oklahoma's going to win the Big 12. All of that sounds completely normal. Right. Yeah, this is where Rip Van Winkle wakes up with the long beer, looks around and goes, it's all the same.

The one thing you can't get to is Clemson. That's the one thing you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, way, way, way, way, back up. Hold on. Maybe if you've been out for several years and you're like, oh, of course Florida State's the OECC is only a good team. I fell asleep. Other than Louisville. I have a question.

yeah what happened at the end of the bama game with florida with um oh god which which end uh i'm specifically wondering was the fourth and one decision for jimbo as dumb as it looked and as cowardly as it looked because i missed it i saw jalen milro make a couple of nice plays i saw bama to pull ahead and then i went to another game jason why don't you take a crack at this first uh so they were On the, like the 40, 42, 44, somewhere around there? I think so. But this is much earlier in the game. It was, so it was fourth and one.

Fourth and one at the Alabama 45, with 259 left in the third. So still pretty early. And at this point. And there's much debate about what one means. Yes, and the game was tied at this point. Yeah, and after. the game, Jim. They're at the Alabama. I'm sorry, they're at the Alabama 45. Yes, they're in plus territory. Yeah. And in a game that ends up being decided by less than a, you know, by six points, by less than a touchdown plus the extra point.

Jimbo has asked about, you know, why they didn't go for it. And he says, well, if it had been like fourth and a half a yard, we would have. So apparently there is a number of inches that determines whether, whether the obviously efficient move would be the obviously efficient move or not. analytics have gone too far this is what happens when you take away Jimbo's papers oh that's what all that documentation was for that's right it was every possible down a distance and what to do

on them but he didn't have fourth and two feet six inches he couldn't remember that the weird thing of it is they have a play for fourth and 14 inches it's fourth and 15 that's the trouble that's the problem

because was fourth and 16 Yeah, we got that. Fourth and 17, we're good. All these are different plays. What stood out to me more about this game, and this is from, I'm stealing this from listener Texan in NYC. Alabama had to do Auburn shit to win this game.

Oh. They're on their... Heresy. On their last possession, they have third and third. after they have run the ball twice just to get Texas to start burning timeouts, but there's still like two minutes left. And Jalen Milrow throws a pass to Jace McClellan that McClellan has to like go down to get.

And it appears that his knee should have been down, but that's not what they called on the field. And on replay, they made the right decision because he didn't catch the ball while his knee was down. He kind of like volleyball set it up to himself so he could stand up. whether intentionally or not, and then ran for a first down. And if it's not the most Auburn ship possible to, like, basically lose because you don't get the ball back, because of that, like, what could be? Everything about this game was, like,

if you just took, if you took the names away, and you were just like, what, what scrappy SEC team is this that's winning this game with, like, hitting some big plays but like not not being efficient on the ground and not being that good on fourth down or on third down and needing some like special team shit to get in there and having a ton at one point I think Alabama had three fall starts in a row hell yes I'm not making that up I think it was like false start false start false start on a third down right in terms of like just if you if you played blind box score if you just looked at this yes you would

You would guess this is like 2020's Mississippi State. Yes. They threw 321 yards and ran for 23. Yep, yep. You could talk me into this being maybe like certain South Carolina games. Mm-hmm. You know? This could be an Ole Miss.

Yeah. This could be an Ole Miss. This, but. Sequence of penalties too is also the string that led off them losing to Tennessee last year. Right. Like, that's kind of when you had a sense they were fucked. And it was early. too.

But, like, they played kick-ass defense in the second half of this game. Yeah, Dallas Turner is incredible. Their defense has been great. They got a safety, which ended up being pretty important in a six-point game, especially because it forced Jim, it forced Texas A&M. Texas A&M had the most unfortunate string of events where they thought they had a touchdown. But Levy on Noss, went out at the two just like barely just like the tip of his toe sort of brush the sideline

and as a result of taking a sack throwing a completion in bounds and then taking a time out to kick a field goal because they were down nine they lost like an entire minute of clock and a timeout to do all this shit just to kick a 20 yard field goal because they needed to get the ball back and then then albam did auburn shit it was I I There's no way Nick Saban likes winning these games. There's just no way. Oh, no. He absolutely loves it.

Do you know how many coaching points he has? He has so many coaching points to make. He has an entire sheaf. He has a notebook full of coaching points. There was a quote. I think like the first thing he said when he got to the postgame presser was like, well, there's good news and there's bad news. And it's like, oh, man, he has no happier space to be in.

Yeah. And he got a haircut, too. He got a fresh cut and die job for this game. We should have seen this coming. That's true. That's true. I would not have guessed. Like, this is Jalen Milrose's rushing stat line.

And obviously, this is going to include sex. Eight carries for negative 31 yards. But he threw for 321. Like, just a weird game. And also Texas A&M is, I don't know. They really, they had a, they had, this was a giant missed opportunity. Oh, they outplayed Alabama so thoroughly in the first half.

Like, like, obviously we've seen A&M be competitive with Alabama in the recent past, in recent memory. But this was, this was maybe the first time that they played a full half of football that I was like, oh, they are executing. And planning, like, what they're doing is superior to what Alabama is doing. Yeah. It almost looks like they looked up and thought like, oh, wait, we're not supposed to be the team leading Alabama. Listen, this is what it sounds like.

And it matches every other A&M game I've seen where they fritter away an advantage or a lead. It's the man with too many things in his hands. That's what they are. You talked about how. except a fourth down play. They had to burn a bunch of, they had to burn a bunch of timeouts and to get into position for a field goal

because they needed to preserve their other timeouts, right? They have to, right? They need, like, they get to situations where they can't have a ridiculous thing happen and then it happens and they can't recover because some disorganization prior to that left them with no margin. It's the man with too many files in his hand.

They showed a picture of Jimbo Fisher earlier in the game. I cannot believe the broadcast. cast crew did this because it's so disrespectful and yet accurate. They're like, here's Jimbo Fisher last year and here's Jimbo Fisher this year and they show here's the giant dumbass who couldn't understand what a backpack is.

They just show him with his fools armful of goods of like files. Here's a man who can't manage his in-game inventory. Do you know what it reminds? Oh, he's encumbered. It's one of those infomercials where the like Chris Motrim's wife used to do

where you can't peel an egg. And it's just Jimbo trying to stack a bunch of folders on top of one another, and they just keep slipping out. So Jimbo, the thing about having a sidekick in a game like this is you can put your inventory in theirs. They're not actually carrying anything. So when you assign Bobby Petrino to be your sidekick on these missions, put your inventory into him. Strap a file cabinet to that motherfucker and make him follow you around. Load him up with all your garbage. Send him out into missions when you don't.

want to be the one to get fired upon that's his job make bobby patrino you're roll for motorcycling ah a one oops make him your make him your cannon fodder yeah this is never going to be better this is what you are this is what jimbo fisher man are going it's not it's not there's absolutely no no it's i will not back off this what data set do you have that you need to be enough six years no no one is disputing i'm laughing because it's yeah the truth is so mean the truth is mean the burden in the bobby petrudeau voice you got six goddamn years of this it's never coming together ever yeah especially because like malachi more got knocked out of this game i think in the first half and you would think the answer would start being like okay it's time to

like, Bon, like, Anaya Smith is awesome and only got four catches in this game. Like, there is always,

there is a weird thing. And I suspect this is probably true for a lot of Jimbo's tenure where you're like, why are you not, why don't you do the thing that Ohio State eventually, that,

you know, good teams eventually figure out to do. Last week, this was Georgia. Call the touchdown play. Like, throw, if you have kick-ass

skilled position players find a way to get them the ball and a and m does not consistently do that in ways that are just baffling yeah you're never ever going to end up with the quarterback that you want that hasn't happened in six years and it only by the way he's only gotten less patient and frittered away more talent at quarterback right and then gets them injured because the quarterback has too much on his brain because he's got to call 12 protections and get the routes right for everybody and read deep and yeah just it's okay it sucks it's the entire program is I got too much fucking shit on me exactly but but none of this

matters do you know why because there's only one reason why Texas A&M lost this game Ted Cruz showed up wearing Texas say it was shit and like once he's once he's there you're cooked baby it doesn't matter he can wear any gear in the state of Texas if he if Ted Cruz comes to your game you're gonna

fucking lose. You have been visited by the Lost Fairy. Nick made that happen by the way. He called up Joe Manchin and he was like, hey, can you do me a favor? I need you to make sure that Ted's there. If you could just do that. The incredible, the incredible

loser energy seeping off of the, he's like an X man. And his power is fucks up your football team. Do you know how hard it is this to stand out as a leader among his loser among his peer group

and yeah Omega Omega level loser Yeah This was This was by the By the way He was there

And did a press conference With Ross Bjork The AD for Texas A&M About how they were Going to get NIL legislation passed And I was like

Ted Cruz Despite not having a Speaker of the House Yeah Also he's like Yeah A solution Will come from the Senate

I'm like Not of Ted Cruz Presents it They all think He's anthrax Yeah this is a thing that I'm not sure is known in the general public so let's just underline it

one more time we would make fun of Ted Cruz regardless y'all have no idea how widely loathed Ted Cruz is among other Washington politicians they want him to die yeah they hate it famously wildly disliked among his peers

it's extremely funny when he says he's going to get things done because nobody will fucking work with him If you're hosting your child's birthday at Chucky Cheese and Ted Cruz shows up, just walk away, just be like, the ski ball machine's going to explode. We need to leave right now. And that's why Texas A&M lost. Well, no, they lost because Jimbo Fisher's never going to get it together.

But Ted didn't help. Ted. I keep saying this and it kind of, it maybe sounds more pat than I mean it to say, I don't actually understand why Jimbo's even pretending to try. That money is guaranteed. I wouldn't do shit. This is why I posit the Jimbot. The Jimbot, which is the Jimbo cyborg that he had made for him four years ago.

What are you going to fire him? No, the gym bot. Yeah, exactly. The gym bot is just rolled out there. And he's like, hey, man, you got to get the sex doll speaking faster. Nobody's going to buy it. You hear me? Yeah, he's like there probably is an attendance requirement.

Like he probably does have to show up. Oh, yeah, that is, that is how you get fired for cause. Oh, so like, that's where Jimbot comes in. Yeah, that's where Jimbot comes in. And apparently other ways as well, based on what Ryan just said. Yeah, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo is like somewhere north of the Arctic Circle hunting caribou. And his guide is sitting there with a sat phone going, do you want an update from the game? And Jimbo's like, ah, hell no, no, no, no.

No. I don't want to know about those losers. I heard Ted Cruz is ham. There's a lot of flusca. So we sent Jimbo to Canada. We traded him for Ted Cruz. Somehow we got rid of Jimbo and lost the trade. Damn.

Yeah. That's like when you cut off a mole and a bigger, uglier mole grows back in its place. All right. So we've been going for about half an hour here. And I know there's some segment of the Notre Dame fans who listen to this show who think maybe they're not going to. Maybe they forgot it. I heard Notre Dame stomped on the bird. What happened next?

Don't stomp on the bird. Bumped back. Angry birds, a phrase of my own invention. What happened next was Louisville 33, Notre Dame 20. Birds with human teeth. Yeah. Sam Hartman threw three picks. Notre Dame ran for 44 yards even if you take away

Sam Hartman running for negative 12 on 10 attempts I think five of six or six that part's normal even if you take that away it's like you ran for 56 yards Notre Dame's offensive line between this game and the Duke game is hazardous is like an OSHA violation it's not good and usually both of these programs are fond of OSHA violations. Papa John's has passed most of its

clearances, most of its health inspections. Papa has been long thrown clear of this program. One does not simply walk into the slice. Maybe Papa John's inside of Jim Bot. Oh, you're going to have to get that machine clean. Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, that's great. That's, listen, that's it.

That's not safe for work even for like midnight standards, which is where we stand. What is also not safe for work in that offensive line generates five turnovers. Five. Yeah. Five.

Five. Five. Five. Cinco turnovers for Notre Dame, despite the fact that these teams had. Similar production. Louisville has one of my favorite dynamics as a team, which is I'm like,

y'all are all very enthusiastic and mean and trying real hard. And nothing seems to be working too great, but you're just going to thug it out. You're just going to. that's like like they call plays and you're like that that one didn't work at all but you were trying real hard and the next one kind of worked and your quarterback is is jack plumber who if you've walked jack jack plumber play man he's exactly that kind of quarterback you're like he's

trying real hard but like compare compare them to the a and m team we're just talking about chamari thrash is the best receiver on lovable he caught eight balls And the most anybody else on the team had was two. Like, half of the completed passes went to their best receiver. Yeah. Like, there is a simplicity. I agree that there is, like, not necessarily a lot of complexity or depth to the Louisville offense at this point in time. But there is, there is a simplicity and a directness to it and paired with the, like, very aggressive defense that they play.

because Sam Hartman again had a terrible time. Like his, he put, the interceptions were bad, but like overall, he like, I think, I don't think he's the reason they lost the game. I don't think his decision making is what lost in the game. Too handsome. They're just like, yeah, Louisville was getting after it on defense. And it was awesome. Like from the, from the first drive until well into the fourth quarter, they just like did not let up.

Louisville has that thing where they're just like, okay, we're going to win. I don't really know how we're going to get there, but it will happen as ugly as it needs to be. They did that versus NC State in a spectacularly ugly like ACCC. They did it against Indiana. They,

this is a team that barely beat Indiana. Yeah. This is a team when they go, oh man, this team, they just get it done. You go, well,

that's cliche. Then you watch it and go, no, that's exactly what happened. They just, whatever happens, coupon it. We will stack up points until they make a pile that is bigger than yours. I don't know how many that's going to be. We have no plan on how that's going to happen, but we'll get there.

Louisville also has that level of like ferocious crowd involvement that you don't always all that often see in the ACC or on Notre Dame schedule. That is a mean crowd. Yeah. You know what I liked about the Louisville crowd, at least on television? A lot of like a lot of mean kids. A lot of like nine And you're just like, while it down. You're like, oh, man, you're a problem at school, aren't you? I love you. Mom and dad are like. Kids who might have knives.

Yeah. Yeah. Mom and dad are like, hey, do you want your first beer tonight? We need you. We need you to beat Notre Dame. Listen, you got to understand. If you're having your first beer tonight, you're also having your third beer tonight. Because that's how we party.

Because, hey, the cards need us. Let's go. Birds with teeth. Birds with teeth. We need this kid loud. Kids with teeth. Yeah. Oh, man.

Like, this is basically, it felt like Louisville watched the Notre Dame Duke tape and was like, okay, we'll just like finish the job. Yeah, we'll just throw a bunch of guys at the offensive line and at least a couple of get through every time. Yes, yes. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can someone read aloud the Mario Cristovovar?

quote from post game that just appeared in the sidebar? If this is the quote, Mario Cristobal said postgame maybe we should have knelt it. So we're trusting the Okay. Maybe we should have

knelt it. It's possible this was said. Oh, no, it's Mario. I totally believe it. He's probably recruiting right now. Like he was probably recruiting while they were making the decision like Mario Mario in the headset like we need you to go and he's like hold on I'm texting a 17 year old

tight end one second just run the ball just run the ball who fucking cares they got to recruit god they got to play unc next week Jesus Christ UNC absolutely to get back to the butt week theme Syracuse has no butt left no UNC cut it to shreds

yeah we haven't asked we haven't asked we haven't asked deficiency in Syracuse New York. Yeah. Oh, that shit's concave now. God. Hey, you know who I appreciate for immediately phoning the fuck out, phoning in, the fuck out of their

game today. Kentucky. I love it. Y'all absolutely trash Florida last week. You show up at Georgia and you're like, victory lap! I hope you had a nice weekend in Athens. Yeah. Oh, y'all. A lovely weekend. And I appreciate that. And I also appreciate

that you signaled right away that we did not have to watch this game. Yeah. It's nice that this was like, all right, here comes the best test on Georgia's schedule. And by the end of the first quarter, you were like, oh, boy. All right. Well, we're going to have to wait a little bit. At least we know Georgia participates when there is a test. Like, you know, like for the first few weeks, it does this team any good at all?

And I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay. So once the games that matter start, they will be good, got it. Um, Minnesota, butt gone, absolutely kicked to hell. Jug butt. Yeah. Like, oh. Yeah. Rowe the butt.

Yeah. Got you some Maldon's jam, but, yeah, that's what you got. More like Roo the butt. Uh, this was Michigan 52, Minnesota 10. I mentioned the score, not as information, because you could look that up. I mentioned it as a point of comparison because. It's some advanced metrics about this game, didn't we? 52 points and 56 plays.

That's the Michigan offense against Minnesota. Does that include kneel downs? Ryan, that does include Neil Downs. That's amazing. Seems good. Also, JJ McCarthy, I love it. Four carries, two TDs. Efficiency, bitch.

this like looking at Minnesota over the course of the year this is a wildly non-competitive team lost to Northwestern got killed by UNC You can stop for lost to Northwestern yeah like

I don't know why we watched after that like this is this is just not the Big Ten West as a whole man y'all are confusing. I will say this. This was, I think, a Friday night game. Nebraska's, I don't have like a lot of memories of the true like black shirt Nebraska defenses. Like this is not a thing that I'm like, oh yeah, I remember this, that, or the other. But the way Nebraska's offense continued to try to keep Illinois in this stupid football game with fumbles and missed field goals

and interception and just like constant garbage and Nebraska on defense just constantly turned all of it away and just processed Illinois's offense into reconstituted butt. I was actually impressed. I was actually like, okay, now I have some sense of what that might look like. This is the nicest thing we've said about Nebraska in maybe literally the entire decade of this show. yeah since they fired polini at least hey listen hydric harberg was cooking i mean the kitchen closed and the kitchen closed quickly but for a hot second in that second quarter yeah yeah he was cooking also illinois is just man it's bleak all match all manna was tapped last season there's nothing left

in the tank right all of those guys are at perdu now they all just left like but peru was bad too let's all right let's talk about they went to west lafayette for the nightlife let's let's talk about the tweet we got about iowa do you do you know the one i'm talking about should i can i go dig it up here here it is this is from michael iowa wide receivers had zero receiving yards against perdu they they punted six times and completed six passes all game They somehow won 20 to 14, and it really could have been 31 to 0. Yeah. You know, this surpasses football.

This is a kink. It transcends football to be this deliberately bad. It's technically. But they're five, I was five and one. Yeah. They are, let's see, 21.8. points per game at this point it's not just it's not just that they're 21.8 it's that like so many of these games are right they've scored 24 20 26 and 20 there there's a 41 and a zero that sort of

oh what do you know balance each other out right to fucking 20 like it's it's the ability for there to be largely no swing one way or the other when they pick 325 they knew it's they were doing to maximize drama that's how you draw eyeballs to iowa nebraska and iowa lSU in whatever tampa ball and they're not firing him it doesn't matter if they come up 70 points short of that you don't think they're firing brian ferrets no no what makes you think anybody learns a lesson or gets punished or has to actually serve up here's the consequences of their action no what will happen is they'll be like well brian per the terms of your contract you know we have to let you go and then Kirk will be like here is your new contract with a raise my son correct that is

the thing is for several years he's gathered new additional titles so he probably has like seven you know it's he's fucking crusader kings at this point he's gonna lose like nine of his of his realms but he'll still be the offensive coordinator that or he'll go be the QB coach at A&M so Iowa it's not the dogs aren't allowed on the bed but they're currently on the bed like they're not allowed but they're up here. You have the duchy of offensive line. Yeah, that's what he's going to be left with. But yeah, there's no way.

Like, I love that everyone thinks this is going to happen. Like, oh, they signed a contract. What, what, he thinks he owns that program, right? Like, if they fire him, if they fire him. Show me evidence that he doesn't. I know. If they fire him, he's going to break off his keys in the locks. Brian, I have great news.

We've legally changed your name to. Darryl Ferrence therefore Brian Ferrence is fired but you're not him that's great because it creates a backup other brother Darrell Ferrence that they can use when this one runs out I would also like to offer I know that I think I think we've been kind of on the fence about Colorado this year but tonight Colorado did something that I think

definitively proves they are a good Pac-12 team and I agree and I want to see if we have same reason they went to arizona state and they fucked around and barely won and that is the thing good pack 12 teams do like this is not specific to them in any way shape or form USC did this a couple weeks ago you could tell me Oregon or Washington is going to do it at some point I'd ask like this is a time as the conference dissolves and as these teams start going their separate ways I am glad that we can honor the tradition of looking like absolute ass at Arizona State. And Holly, you have the other half of this.

Yeah, they made sure to do it on the Pact 12 Network so no one saw. I'm not even making fun. We tried to watch this game today and, of course, could not. We were buffed. I do like how every week of Colorado season is sort of an introduction for new college football fans to, you know, to experience this or that different facet of the sport and this time around is like

the Pact 12 what, right? Like we sort of take it for granted that like yeah, you know, half their games are unwatchable. It is what it is. So part of the reason why this conference is going to be able. Right, right, right. Yeah.

So then, you know, when these new fans are like, oh, so does this have anything to do with like why this conference is going away? Yes, yes, you're starting to get it. Yes. If you want to watch this game, you have to have a PlayStation Vita. I know they don't make those anymore. So the story starts in 1850, whatever.

And the other one was, like you say, like how many legit Pac-12 teams have lost in the state of Arizona? So like there is, it's like whatever the spread was in this game, it doesn't. It's fake. Everything is fake in the state. It's like time zones, right? Don't they have their own time zone or some shit? Yeah, I think they do the, like, we're not doing daylight savings because we tell the sun what to do. Because we'll shoot the fucking sun.

In Arizona, it's specific cities, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's right. It's some like Goldwater Republican, like, comedy plot thing. I'll get up what I want to get up. You don't take my hours for me. All numbers are fake there. If you win and you're able to leave, you've done something great. That's right.

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See, look what good Pact 12 teams do. That's right. That's right. And also, Georgia Tech's, I keep looking at this Georgia Tech score. And I'm like, how did this happen? You said it. We started the show. The USC game is in USC, so they don't have an excuse. They suck, unlike Colorado. Colorado's better than USC.

Oh, boy. They just got to Arizona and they're like, so parched. So flat. So dehydrated. I did not watch much of the second half of this because we were getting ready to start the show. And it looks like it changed a lot in the second half, although the result was still the same. Wyoming was bodying Fresno State for the first half of that game. Like, they looked great.

And the final was 2419. Fresno State scored 12 in the second half, and Wyoming didn't get on the board again. But, like, for one half, they just, they looked awesome. They were blocking well. They were playing kick-ass defense. Fresno State is a very good team. Wyoming has not been great in this series the last few years. Yeah, rank Wyoming?

Like, Fresno State is going to be. drop out of the rankings. But like Wyoming should just take that spot. I mean, their only loss was a three, three or four quarters competitive against Texas. Yes. And they beat Texas Tech. One of like two Texas teams to win this weekend. Transitive but bowl victory. That's right. So like this is a tangent, but like when people talk about, you know, playoff expansion is going to devalue the regular season or whatever, blah, blah, blah. That's what's still, you know, that's fine. That's an opinion. Some people have um i think about the upcoming like wyoming you know uh mountain west title game next year that'll be for a playoff spot like how are how are we devaluing anything when an

entire conference has a you know their their their conference title game is virtually a what would that be before a quarterfinal i don't know whatever that word is yeah i mean demi semi final sure demi yeah let's just call it regional there you go the wide ranging definition of region yeah yeah by the way in that game Wyoming uh they do

tend to put it in park when they get even a sort of modest lead they got a little too close to the they did they let them get a little too close to the bumper once they put it in cruise control is what this looks like wait wait that's a metaphor man a little too close to the bumper baby

someone in the comments recommends wild card for that so yes thank you the mountain west championship is a wild card game yeah that's a base that's a baseball term they really took their foot off the gas once they put it in park on the freeway yes uh how the braves do tonight by the way well the best offense go phillies the best offense in the history of baseball did not score any points uh sleeper sell i asked that because i already knew the answer it's right not in the fireworks at my house so i know Go pills! Did I watch the game?

No, do I believe in Philadelphia's supremacy? Absolutely. It's a combination of that and like, wow, some Atlanta shit happens. Fall in a river, blooper! Yeah, my favorite thing were people openly wishing for the death of blooper. I felt really bad for starring all these tweets of everybody calling blooper a big dopey bitch after the game, but fair's fair. Yeah, my favorite thing I saw from that game, by the way, was longtime Philly legend and blogger Michoni, who I guess was at the game. he had just the menu from one of the places you can eat in the stadium and he was he just said he took a

picture of just the sides and he goes these are the worst sides i've ever seen i mean they're just like the description no it's just like standard shit he's just like this the worst shit i've ever see fries fuck that yeah yeah it's like fries it's like cold slot trash hey when you when you win three to nothing you can say whatever you want that's right That's right. Ooh. Go, Phyllis. Talk, yeah, talk your condiment shit.

How many more of these games are there? Kansas just ran the hell out of UCF. Kick out. I don't think, I don't think I've forgotten any. None of the new members of the Big 12 have beaten a legacy member of the Big 12 at this point, right? I think the only one of these games that one of them is won is BYU beat Cinci. yeah i would have to look and and next week houston gets to play and i'm going to say this because i i have trouble believing it second place in the big 12 west virginia that's right that's right

two and oh off this week baby yeah this uh these standings are crazy like it really looks like the conference is going to take a little bit of a downgrade next year when it's two of the top Three teams in the standings leave, and the three teams at the bottom of the standings, you know, are fully ingratiated. The other than Oklahoma and Texas, here's who's at a top, the Big 12 right now, in order. Well, I don't know about Tyburners. I don't think any of these teams have played. West Virginia, Kansas, Iowa State, and Texas Tech. Normal.

Like, Oklahoma State TCU is one of the roughest games. I've seen it a while. Oklahoma State finally got a win there. When you said all those teams after West Virginia, it didn't sound real good. It's, it's, it's, it is interesting. I don't understand. I will give it that. I will give it that, but like, TCU had a very bad night, quarterback got injured,

Baylor had a, Baylor is having a, like, I think Baylor is lucky that TCU had, was so publicly embarrassed by Colorado. in like this hugely watched game because Baylor's having a terrible year. A confusing year. Yeah. Every time I watch them, something else is wrong.

Like they fix one thing and then two other things go wrong. Like the passing game comes along. They can't run the ball further than three feet at a time. No. Yeah. Yeah. The defense is, eh? They've had good quarters.

They've had totally disastrous quarters. Yeah. Fits and starts, yes. Special teams, special teams will be fine, and then they'll go haywire. Like, they have some... Sometimes they're a penalty disaster. Sometimes they'll play a very clean, yeah. I've arrived at a description of this phenomenon, Ryan.

Gremlins. They have gremlins. Baylor has football gremlins. They're over here, they're over there, they're never in one place all the time. Maryland didn't beat Ohio State. I suppose we should talk about that in past. Not quite. this was the weekly like oh might be something might be something i'm going to go outside for an hour

and come back and oh oh five weeks of september maryland and that was more than we deserved i say one by 20 after uh some early drama yeah there was a bit of uh a bit of coaching mismanagement coaching malpractice uh punt cowardice in this game early on where maryland probably should have taken some chances and if you didn't see the end of the first half, which I did, they were going to line up for a field goal at the end and ran out of time. Just ran out of time, straight up. We all get busy sometimes. They were very busy, Ryan.

They just ran out of time. They were busily wasting the end of that half, thinking they had a timeout that they did not have and thus missed points at the end. of the half and that sort of I guess set the tone for the rest of because at that point Ohio State just started again pressing the touchdown button send a pass to Marvin Harrison look a

touchdown wow old miss held Arkansas to 20 points that's not good defensive improvement sure yeah that's good for them I don't know what they're doing with KJ I do not know what the Dan Enis offense is supposed to be

because they took our beautiful rambling like you know bowl of a quarterback and they've they've they've raided him in Ryan they've tried to make him a pocket passer what the Arkansas Razorbacks are this season

is the Los Angeles Angels damn and it's just like this would be the part of the season where if they could Arkansas would just be like I don't know let's trade KJ Jefferson for fucking farm system whatever or let's not and let's not yeah let's miss the playoffs by 15 games or whatever let's bring in some guys and then trade all of them let's make a playoff push oh god the angels the angels are the only

baseball team i think we could talk about on this show we could talk about the Mets yeah which are just the East Coast Angels yeah the Mets the Mets are just the on TV too much cocaine angels. The Mets are the like a little bit of angels every year, whereas the angels are just all the angels all at once. Right. Sure. Yeah.

I just, I don't know. I know we already did this on the regular show. I don't think Arkansas is going to make a bowl game or if they do, it's going to be a weird, ugly path there. I felt, I felt decent about their chances in this one, but this was a maker breaker. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not, it's not fun. I'm sorry. That's a bummer. I shouldn't have brought it up. it's not it's not and honestly like that's arkansas and they do things a certain way and by that i mean they really love on you and they think it's great when you stabilize the football program and then after one or two bad years they um put you in a sack here come the yeah here come the foyer requests here come to go yeah here come the goblins there really was

there really was Arkansas foia news this week yes it was always a horrible sign don't Dan Enis, don't be checking your email. Don't do that. Arkansas. Arkansas coaching staff. But Dan, you've been there before you know what these people are like. Do not touch any devices. Dude, I would switch my SIM card out and I wouldn't have the same cell phone for longer than three days at a time.

I would throw away my phone if I coach football for the University of Arkansas. Yeah, you know all that shit that Jason Bourne has to do in movies, right? Where they're like, throw your phone away. wrap this aluminum foil around your head so the signals can't get in. Now Sam Pittman, I'm going to shoot you and you're going to have to swim out of a cold river. Yeah, that's the

goblins of the Ozark. It's the only way to stay safe as Arkansas head coach. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't, because you wrap foil around yourself in Arkansas and it's, oh, now you're ready to smoke. Oh, you're tasty. That'll retain your moisture just fine. Don't, don't, listen,

don't make yourself into a brisket, okay? That's what we're saying. Take precaution. because they come for you and they come for you quick. Well, do you want to be docks or do you want to be smoked? Which will it be, coach? Elsewhere in sad news, my coogs lost 4-1 Washington State. UCLA's defense is very good.

UCLA entered with number one in the country yards per blade events, which is just a baffling stat. If they can maintain this and Dante Moore can keep getting better, their true freshman quarterback who's like the best recruit, in UCLA history they can be interesting down the stretch they're not ranked

they're getting better they're not ranked but they're four and one and they lost to a very very unpleasant Utah team they lost at Utah by a touchdown yes and they they get Oregon State who's currently in a very tight game

with Cal last I checked yes they're leading by three in late in the third quarter they get Stanford they play They have to play Colorado, but at least we know they play defense, so, like, something can happen. Like, there is a path here where UCLA, amongst all the Oregon, like, they don't play Oregon. They don't play Washington.

UCLA could definitely sneak their way into the Pac-12 championship game. Washington State had 12 yards rushing on the day. 12. And I think Cam Ward was like 19 of 40 passing or something. 19 of 39, yeah. and they had like four or five turnover it was rough yeah they beat their typical chip kelly defense typical that's right typical Philadelphia equals classic defense yeah baby okay I get it now and again because we can't say it enough

Miami lost to Georgia Tech because they didn't take a knee and then they gave up a 40 fucking yard touchdown like how did this happen I kind of like that sounds pretty badass though right we will never kneel right Miami Miami, they thought they were playing, like, 300. They were. I've been watching a lot of the pitch black movies, and I think they're fucking crazy. Oh, my God.

They lost to the team with Ponce de Leon or through the middle of town. This is Miami logic, though. Yeah, needless for bitches. I ain't doing that. Cains don't kneel. Yeah, Cains don't kneel. Lions don't kneel.

What are you talking about? Lions don't kneel before bees. So if you listen to the. Huberman podcast. You've heard you've heard of these knees. A lot. A tiger doesn't concern itself with the opinion of bees.

Pigeons can't change your stripes unlike bees, not to be trusted. Hurricanes don't have knees. They have eyes and I'm watching you face to face because I'm not kneeling. I'm watching you run 44 yards for the game winning touchdown. But I'm not kneeling,

am I? I'm up. I got a good view of the back of your jersey as you flee. freely into the end zone. Because you turned your back on me. That makes you the coward. Get back here, you coward. Get back here.

And, well, we won't kneel. We'll just stand here like men. All part of the longstanding plot to erode Florida State's strength of schedule. Mm-hmm. Part of that plot as well. It's been great. LSU is also contributing. Clemson 17, Wake Forest 12.

I'm not clicking on this box score. I don't want to know how this happens. Nope. I got to be honest, if I see 12, I'm not clicking. I'm going in. I know what's in there. It's bad. I'm seeing numbers like 15 of 25. Clemson, 2.6 yards per rush. You should not be winning by scores that predate the existence of the United States of America.

Yeah, absolutely not. No. Because Jesus wasn't born yet. Mm-hmm. or the score is 1217 okay yeah that's that's crap you don't need to look at it that's Dave Claussen in his freaky low scoring mode

not his freaking high scoring mode that's right I forgot about that no remember before before they were the like freewheeling 39 37 team yeah they spent like two years being the like we want this game to be as slow and excruciating as possible

yeah you want to come over and score nine points you need a bunch of ham. Yeah. This is a good rebrand. We're forced to ask if Dave Clausen parties. Somebody in my Twitter mentions was like, yeah, man, I saw him at a widespread show and his eyes were like saucers. Like, this is awesome.

That's what I want. You want you whipets and kick fielgles poorly? Where was this guy when he was coordinating for us? This is all I want. That was a long time ago. Yeah, he was a lot about it. Hey, Yukon won. Yukon did win.

Yeah, you go on the side. Youcom won. Oh, we already talked about that. It's a long show. It's a lot of you're gone and you forget you've already talked about you Kong and this Red River. Oh, yeah, we didn't. Yes, NC State beat Marshall.

Somebody in the comments pointed that out. That was a pretty fun and dicey game at points. I'm still not convinced NC State is going to do much this season. This season? They're four and two and. Yeah, that's fine. Like, I don't know. Dave Doran's eternal at this point.

Well, I mean, they're on pace for 8 and 4. Yeah, you're right. So, like, we have to return to, we have to return to Wolfpack equilibrium. Like, what more do you want from NC State other than 8 and 4? This is the terror. If you can see, Ryan, I'm making a diagram here. That diagram shows the range of the wolf. It's eight miles in this direction.

It's not far. And four miles in this direction. It's 100 yards. Yes. Damn. Is that the wolf that's supposed to be inside me? Inside you, there are two wolves. One is very sleepy. He's the four lost wolf. Inside you, there are two wolves. Six and six.

We have one more story to tell from tonight. You said wolves and that made me think of dogs. Spencer, where you tell the hot dog story? So at Iowa, Herk the Hawkeye, right? Herky Hawkeye, yeah. Herky Hawk was testing out a new hot dog gun because, you know, they have a hot dog gun that shoots fully wrapped hot dogs into the stands, which is the most Midwestern shit that I've ever thought of, right? Did we get it confirmed that they were wrapped?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hot dog gun shoots a wrapped hot dog, right, in the foil, and it shoots it into the stands. I've seen these before. It is the most Midwestern thing because you can hear somebody going, Hey, Jan, they got a hot dog gun. it's freaking great they just put it in there

it goes that that fucker goes like 30 rows wait but if they were wrapped how did what happened next happen beaned me right in the goddamn forehead kids love it I got hit my wiener with a wiener jam kids love it is back

this feels a lot like my normal Saturday night only I had to put on a jacket I had to tell this jagoff hey another hot dog because the hot dog guns broken Spencer does my favorite Midwesterner of anyone Because most people 99% of people when they impersonate a Midwesterner

They go like super super nice Spencer has mean Midwestern Spencer is basically doing a Bears fan For the last 15 years Spencer Midwesterner has his own bar In his basement of his own house That he has been 86 from Hey Jan Justin Fields is a locker room cancer

No I do like drinking Midwestern because these are all the guys that Right, Bears Man. Yeah, these are all the guys that my middle school friends' dads were because they all came down to work at the like auto plants, right? So you go over their house and they'd have this like kick-ass Nogahide couch.

Half of Nashville, you're right. Right, they would have this like Oroboros Nogahide couch that had like 23 Nogahide seats and then have the picture of Ditka or the picture of like Don McCowski, right, on the wall. And you go to their house and they would come home and they would put on slippers, immediately grab a beer and be like,

fuck! Hey, kid! What's going on? Mike Tom Zach's a piece of shit, kid! Hey, good to see you. Good to see you. Hey, have you lost weight? Oh, you're looking good. Are you gay weight?

You look great. Fuck it. I'm a hot dog. You know who it is? It's the guy on the bear in the kid's birthday party episode who comes out the door and it's like, I thought you killed yourself. And he's like, no, that was my brother.

And the guy just keeps walking. like people who have their news is like hey you remember uh don yeah yeah he's fucking dead anyway like like that's anyway so yeah tell us none of that is the story so about the hot dog gun the pinnacle of big 10 academic consortiums yeah stop throwing hot dogs at my wife so the hot dog gun malfunctioned so you know the people of course still craved hot dogs and they still had a bunch of cooked hot dogs to handout. So what they did was they just started throwing hot dogs into the stands willy-nilly without putting them in the bags. So this led to the separation without putting them

in the wrappers. Yes, mid-flight separation of hot dog bun and hot dog. Like rocket boosters falling away. So it's just people throwing, you know, like disassembled hot dogs. Throwing meat and Red. There's people catching and eating just bare-handed hot dog ones. What a metaphor for like. So it's not just the football team that's having trouble with the passing game. That's like a metaphor for like half the offenses in the Big Ten at this point. Just throw it out there.

Regnigate's sad commenter for glizzy grenades. I love y'all. Absolutely love y'all. Oh, my God. You can't win if you don't throw the hot dog. If you When you throw the hot dog, there's three bad things that can happen. If you're some Midwestern uncle or dad who like drinks a little too much and cusses in front of kids but is very nice about it, I fucking love you.

Oh, my God. I'm scheduled disassembly hot dogs. They're just flying through the fucking air. It's great. It's like that dream I had, jam. The hot dog. dream remember that

Phil was in that dream yeah Phil remember him yeah he's dead and she does remember it oh that's right you were so excited about that dream you woke up crying

you were so happy he woke up screaming anyway we're fishing we're fishing and the guy from New York he gets out the blow and I'm like oh buddy oh buddy it's been a while for that stuff

but you know I'm still in the saddle So giddy up What do you say We put it on a couple of hot dogs Oh fucking love those guys Like with all my heart Yeah

So they were having fun at Iowa Just know that like you know We laugh at Iowa man That's a party You know what Fuck us They have more wins than so many teams Yeah

Be careful what we wish for Because last week we pointed out that Notre Dame was on a 30-game heater versus ACC teams and then what happened. Iowa has a better record than Notre Dame right now. As God intended. As God clearly

intended. Notre Dame, you lost to the Cardinals. Like, that's Catholicism falling apart from the inside out. Vatican has got no locker home cohesion. And also, Louisville's pizza is more authentically Italian than

That's correct. He's here to throw, too. You just go, woo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, that was me frisbee throwing a pizza. Where is pop it? Hold on, I'm going to check Poppa John stick the Instagram right. Oh, yeah, you should probably, it's only, you got to know where he's at right now. He's going to be outside your front door before you know it. You got to check his TikTok, too.

That's very important. What a fucking wild. Is that a joke? No, that's not a joke. What a fucking wild bio this is, founder of Papa John's, beats a fitness enthusiast proud father and grandfather all right

yeah um usually by the way if you haven't you should follow cam newton on TikTok it's very entertaining he had an entire monologue this week about how he has an average size penis oh it's listen that's on that's underselling

what actually happens in this monologue yeah it's so beautiful yeah I think the phrase he's really really good on TV The phrase, I ain't got no hammer was mentioned. Because if I did, I'd be standing here with my pants off. I ain't lacking for confidence. It's like, God, Cam.

Stop, stop imitating Cam Newton. He's so good. He's so fucking good. That's it. Do we miss anything else? No, Big Papa. No? Okay.

A few. Well, Arizona is up by six. Arizona scored again. Arizona scored again It is 20 to 14 Oregon State in Oh boy This one got

This one got track beat fast Real fast Oregon State 42 Cal 32 with 14 minutes When's the last time Cal has 32 points Holy shit But Oregon State is driving And is

You know Close I forgot about Cal's went over North Texas Don't take me serious And again like Georgia Tech heck i just it's rough no it knows it's good it's going to be rough but that's okay mario

christopold is recruiting right now i mean rob robbie calland has pointed the following out to lose outright in regulation they had to give up 74 yards to haines king in 26 seconds with no timeouts haines king at 151 passing yards in this game which is ruby points out means half of his passing yards for the game came in the last 26 seconds when all they needed was a stop All I hear is clutch I fucking love science

This is why we're not athletes or champions Because you know you hear it You go LOL bad passing You know what Haynes King thought I was due Miami Fuckness I'm so bad I got about 100

I'm the one who decides when to spend them That's right That's it Yeah look I got all these tokens It's time to do some spending I just I really didn't think On a night when Notre Dame

Just got completely pushed around For a lot of the game by Louisville That the ACC game we would be talking about That would stick in my brain the most Would be Miami Georgia Tech But that's the Miami difference That's why it's all about the you Yeah, they hate us

Because they ain't us They can't stop talking about us Rent free Rent free in your head Red free and I'm pissing in it You're a little Gator brain can't stop Thinking about the canes

And the things we do Bro we just kind of beat Fanderbilt We're just taking one day at a time This is the coach this is the coach that you fought so hard and we're so mean to your other coach to get and he can't even call a fucking kneel down

yeah but brother recruiting class for next year the recruiting class is incredible man just wait until the next coach they bring it's no Arkansas's the Angels and Miami is the New York Mets yeah

Yeah, yeah, because I think because the Mets do this thing where they actually believe in it. Nobody has ever believed in the Angels. No. But every now and then Mets fans are like, you know, this could be our year. Look at how much money we're spending. How could it not work? I think this is the year we have enough money to stop being the Mets. God damn.

You cannot buy your way out of being the Mets. No, it's not. And we're going to recruit our way out of being modern Miami football. you'll see. Unfortunately, nope. I'm going to get a thousand stars, then you'll see. It's the best. It's like, no, no, no, no, no.

Listen, the chef is going to get it right, okay? We're going to go get Wagyu beef. No, no, no, no. Wagyu's not going to do it. You need Kobe beef. Okay, listen. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a third kind of beef you've never heard of before.

Yeah, these cows are raised in caves, super luxury. Alex Rodriguez owns these bare caves. where we farm meat farm the bears no it's definitely cow meat bro yeah yeah yeah and then what do we ignore all the dead bears it's definitely cow meat what the fuck are you doing to those miami bears what did he make out of them hamburgers again we got hamburgers again all right now we take this meat we make it into a hot dog then we throw it on wraps as hard as we can bro be cool be cool I got a whole yard full of dead fucking bears, bro.

What do I do? I said, be cool. Fuck. All right, we got to recruit more bears. We got to move forward. What eats bears? We got to recruit that. Dragons?

Yeah, I got a friend with a bunch of price of canarios in Hyaliyah. He's got like 20 of them in his backyard. We just throw the bears in there, okay? Listen, we could pay him like $200. No, actually, we might even pay him. They're hungry. I know he doesn't feed it. Good morning, Miami.

A mystery. as dozens of bear corpses found in the Everglades. There's like 15 gloriously happy Precic Canarians. I love that in this news this newscast has time for like 30 seconds on that because there's some other

shit happening. But next in Miami recruiting. More importantly, the canes are back. I mean, congrats to Georgia Tech and all too. This is great. I'm just going to. I'm going to, listen, on the air, I'm going to text Michael Ryan Rees right now.

Do it. I'll be like, I'm going to be like. The refs right now. Do it. I'm going to be like, I'm sure you guys have it all under control over there. That's what I'm going to do. No, no, text him and say, hey, is the game over? You don't, you don't see the vision, bro.

You don't. Okay. Eventually, if, listen, it's like any asset. If I have all the bear carcasses, I control the flow of bear carcasses. You can throw the market. That's right. The bear carcass market is mine. I can charge whatever I want.

$10,000, $25,000. It's just like crypto, except it's dead bears. Are we too good at business? It's possible. I just texted him and asked if the game was over. Let's see if they get it was 12. Should I text them right now too? Or would that be too obvious?

I think that might. Hey, buddy, I turned it off with a couple minutes to go, but you guys are looking good. Yeah, I thought you had an hand. all you had to do with kneel. Cains don't kneel. Oh, Ibis can't. It can't bend that way. Bird knees,

bird knees kneel backwards. Ibus literally does like a half kneel at all time. Shit. Bird need to kneel the other way. Maybe that's the problem. Is it indecisive? It's a bird? Fuck.

What season of that was Love Island When they were making fun of the one dude Who said a dolphin wasn't a fish I don't know But he came from the Miami of England That's all I know Essex, yeah I don't kneel, bro

I'm like a fucking flamingo Are there Mets fans in England God, what a terrifying existence God, the most cynical human being on earth That's really perfect If you're a Mets fan in England Reach out to us We don't want to talk

I just want to know you exist Also if you're a Mets fan in England why do you ever think about sports if you're a Mets fan in England you're up way too early it's not even church time yet both those teams were really good in like 1959

and that's it right roughly yeah 86 too it once in 86 yeah okay thank you yeah well not England though but yeah yeah not England no oh okay what do we think of Miami shit

what do we think of shit so speaking of Miami thank you few things to say it was good I think I think we've had a long of your heart I think we had a good

butt week overall bringing on down laid at the cross oh yeah all right if you've made it this far by the way thanks to everybody

who did Uncle Bearis we're tooling Iceman after dark Camususin Master Gator yeah Miami's stack of class

If you're still here, check your Coinbase account. Dead Bear on its way to you, bro. We're going straight to the fucking bear moon. Coin bears. That's all we do. You exchange three rabid price of canario coin for four bear coin for six slurp juices. We'll get you into the party tonight. Some of y'all still aren't getting it.

You can exchange six slurp bears. you know what is great about this is knowing that all the cryptocurrencies that we have invented during the run of this show and they are myriad are now worth exactly as much as the crypto coins that everybody paid for here's the thing you could invest in cryptocurrency or you could be a miami booster and in both cases you've just thrown your money away in both cases you're going to lose to computer nerds Bye! Bye!