Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK: NIGHT OF THE BOOTLEG TIGER

Episode Date: November 10, 2024

The adventures of Utah BatmanAn impromptu taxonomy lessonPlanning end of life care for Spencer's skull, which is almost as hollow as Miami's pass blockingA new Georgia Tech traveling trophy is createdIs it Blood Week? Let's ask Jason!Brent Key, the coach fueled by rage known only to short-term solo parentsGovernor Huey Long returns to decry LSU's false Tiger and explain tiger measurementDo not look directly at the SEC tiebreakers right now, for health reasonsA noir-tinged #10WINDIANA celebrationOhio State, stop pretending like you have problemsLet's check in on Florida State's singular seasonThe hunt for MIMAL erotica beginsMike Gundy's into Moon Knight nowIntroducing the NFTortillaBoise has a bafflerPitt. Man.Time to rank UConnBowl-eligible South Carolina defeats bowl-eligible VanderbiltBack to you, HueyWe've got a live show coming up! It's definitely in Atlanta, and we're almost positive it's on January 18th! You know as much as we know nowSee Jason in Jacksonville, in (a) church! www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-eventFullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

Well, the first words I saw when I hopped on the stream tonight were Utah Batman, and I don't need any further context than that. Vengeance. Angelo. I want a milkshake. With a low APV. What does Batman do in a state where everything closes at 9? Batman gets lots of sleep.

Lots of lunch. Lots of lunch crime. I think Batman in Utah deals with a lot of livestock crime, right? Like you're out there, you're trying to steal like 10 cattle off of some huge range. And all of a sudden you hear, where you go with all that beef? I got beef for you. Did I ever tell you about the time Aunt Mothman was, like, living on a ranch while she was teaching in the Colorado countryside, and a satanic cult came and stole their cattle?

No. Like the, you remember the black helicopters? Here is a question. I suspect I'm going to regret asking. What happened to the cattle? Oh, they slit their throats. Yep. Okay.

Kind of had a feeling that's where it would go. But the helicopters did? oh man i just realized that would have been a much better way of doing it if they like walked each cow individually up to the blades it's it's real efficient part of me wants to go it's the sacred mist jellie go ahead and say the thing so we could talk about how good the days we don't like 500 people in here i don't trust that number anymore and we're pulling from like eight different websites yeah oh does this just have the it's 50 000 our lincoln it doesn't include our lincoln friends That happens

Hello LinkedIn friends We see you with your names And faces and jobs We see you with your government jobs But there's millions and millions of listeners On LinkedIn right now They can never silence us all LinkedIn We have

We got so much shit to talk about So I'm gonna kick this bitch off Okay I'm gonna set this bitch off Yeah I got some apologizing to do Fulcast after dark for men Brought to you by Rise Picks Welcome

To the full cast After dark Bus, buzz, bitches That's right Bumblebees did take flight Are they also yellow jackets? Yes, are those two different species? Doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. More like fight of the bumblebees. No, I think yellow jackets are kinds of bees. Yeah, we don't have time. All flying insects are bees. Look it up. This is fine. Yeah, they bees kicking your ass, Miami. This is actually an expansion from our early fauna, inspired by Jason's daughter that said all animals were either dogs or not.

Mosquitoes aren't bees. Mosquitoes are bees. No, mosquitoes aren't bees. Look, families are complicated. How about this? If it flies and it attacks you with its butt, it's a bee. If it flies and it attacks you with its mouth and it's not a bird, it's a mosquito. It's Spencer.

I think, well, our birds are dinosaurs, so they can't be mosquitoes. Gotcha. Can't be mosquitoes. And mosquitoes are what will bring dinosaurs back, and then bees are what will destroy dinosaurs. Our bats bees. No, bees destroy hurricanes. Hurricanes destroy dinosaurs. Interesting.

It's a big circle. Wow. We'd like to welcome. It's a circle like a hurricane. But not anymore because the hurricane has been extinguished by the bees. ironically the bee NATO if you will I'd like to thank the LinkedIn user

who commented with his full name and real photo mosquito Arbys we have the bees how many legs you know what I know they got wings but bees have six legs and I think that's appropriate

because then bees then bees ran the fuck over That's have six legs. I just like that a true statement that gives you not the full context of this season is Georgia Tech dealt Florida State and Miami each its first loss of 2024. That's true. How about that bridge coach? Listen, that's a several bridges coach. That's a London bridge coach.

I have a question. Yeah. I want to know which one of you this was. This is from Reddit, oddly specific. My husband of 12 years has had some medical problems recently. I know we've all been kind of under the weather. The topic about end-of-life plans came up, and I asked if he wanted to be buried. He didn't want that, nor did he want to be cremated.

My husband wants me to have his skull taken from his body and cleaned. Then he wants that skull put on the mantelpiece in the living room. The rest of his body, he once sent to one of those places that makes gems out of bodies and made into two blue diamonds. He then wants those gems to be put in the eye socket of the living. skull to look like eyes, then he can watch the family home and be passed down through the generations. Ryan, is that you? No, no. I was going to say this is really Catholic shit, so it is. I am not really Catholic, unfortunately. So, mostly I would, if I did this, I wouldn't

ask to be kept in my house because, like, why am I just trying to create more clutter in my death? I would ask to be mailed to a friend's house. Like, like, send this to the next, I would come with a letter like a flat stanley yeah but like i would be like mail this to the person it will upset the most i think you should have to be continually mailed forward like yeah that no that like pass this on to the person that it will personally i just want to i'm just going to annoy everyone in the afterlife y'all are going to lose me in the couch cushions i know that's going to happen with your big head i don't think so i don't think so buddy eventually i was more referring to the diamonds you guys just flip straight to the skull.

People decompose, in my opinion. That's why you have to gild them if you don't want to. So unless we encrusted Spencer in rubies and other precious jewels, he will eventually disintegrate within the couch cushions. Hey, you know it decomposed? Miami's pass blocking. Woof! Jesus! Hey, listen, erosion is tough, man.

Coastal decay is real. want you to know what an absolute strange result this is because cam ward you go oh man they lost cam ward must have had a shit game cam ward threw for 348 yards was 2539 threw for three TDs and zero interceptions well did he try playing defense did he try pass blocking nope he should he sounds like it was okay yeah this is this is a Also, what did Georgia Tech do offensively? They passed for 99 yards. Oh, okay. How many tries?

16 passes. They ran the ball 48 time for 271 yards. That's right. Vintage. They broke out the good Paul Johnson shit for this game, buddy. Do you know what I want? What? You know those statues of like those.

like giant Indian statues, like carved out of wood? Sure. Yes. If you haven't traveled in South Dakota, I really can't explain this. They're like human-sized statues carved out of wood. I won't want to Paul Johnson to just, like, stand in the corner of my living room. Not dressed as an Indian, just like Paul Johnson in like a polo shirt and cargo pants, but carved out of wood. Sure.

Yeah, like, definitely dress them non-problematically. Yeah. I think that's a good point. Well, I mean, I want it to be recognizable by Paul Johnson, yeah. But just carved out of wood. Hey, Waldrog is still there. Thank you, Chat. Cacky pants that look like they have been just wadded in a ball for like 10 days before you put them on.

So we need a talented sculptor to be able to convey that. I haven't been there since I was like, to be clear, I haven't been to Waldrog since I was seven. So if they don't still have the statues, I can't take responsibility. You know, like the Chief Cotto Trophy, whichever rivalry game that is. Yeah, what if, it would actually make a lot of sense for the Paul Johnson Trophy to be like this huge pain in the ass. I bet he'd like that. I think he would like that. Also, he would sit there in scowl when he watched Mario Cristobal mismanage the end of the game again.

I was this that big a deal? I hate to be that guy. No, I mean, I think they were going. I think it was doubly wild because. I think the correct answer is the boring answer, which is that Georgia Tech's pretty good. Georgia Tech's pretty good, and if you let a team run for 270 yards, I'm just going to use my own little converter map. That's like letting them pass for like 70 yards on you, right?

The effect is devastating in every single way in terms of game impact if you let somebody run for that many yards. Additionally, I don't think it would have made much difference because tech is, tech also made some errors along the way. They stepped out of bounds when they really shouldn't have and probably prolong the game. dangerously so given who was at quarterback for the Miami Hurricanes they missed a very easy pass conversion that stopped to drive very early on a third and one they had a wide receiver completely whiff on a block that knocked him back to fourth and three which end like yeah this

it's not like man everything went Georgia Tech's way wrong incorrect yeah so they they gave a little bit back on that end too is what I'm saying I just want to note Haynes King through six passes completed all six of them for 32 yards that's how you take down a top five team that's enough also he ran the ball like a million times he ran he had 20 carries and plus numerous option pitches and so forth but haines king by the way i love that he's working some real shit out because at a and m it was like he's starting he's not starting he's a dropback passer oh um he beats bama that one time kind of a shocker moves on from things right um last last year ACC's leading passing passing touchdowns sorry i've got him confused with Zach kelzata anyway Haynes king transfers comes in was a leading

passer last year yep and then in his in his this year he was like boys I'm not feeling I'm not feeling brolic enough and they're like do you want to play fullback and quarterback at the same time I'm my own backpack look at me go I think yeah Yeah, it was, A&M just didn't know what they had. Didn't know what they had in Haynes King. Ludicrous game plan, too, because they bring in a freshman quarterback, Aaron Filo, who is going to be good. He holds all of Trevor Lawrence's passing records in the state.

Like, Aaron Filo is going to be a good quarterback, but he's a freshman, and they bring him in against Miami, and you think, he's going to give him a little rollout, sprint out, check down. Nope, gunning straight for the fucking end zone. Bam, touchdown. out. Speaking of BAM, for those of you watching live, don't look now, but on the CW after dark,

John Mateer is cooking. Ooh. Uh-huh. Yet another Texas quarterback, working his way up the campboard highway from Texas to Wazoo, and then presumably to like some team that doesn't deserve him next year.

Like he'll go to Ohio State, and they'll be like, that Mateer needs to take a check down when he's like, sprinting for 20 yards and two minutes at a time in the backfield. It needs to be boring. That leads me to an interesting question. I think, is it too early to say if this is Blood Week or non-Blood Week?

This is obviously directed at Jason, who's the House expert and priest on these matters. But like, given that BYU, Utah is still going on and, you know, Utah State, Washington State as well, a little less concerning there. like, are you ready to give this a yes or no, or could it potentially swing? At this point, I'd say definitely no. Okay. You know, like a three, we'll get to a three going down and a four going down. That's nice. Otherwise, eh, pretty normal.

Like, a lot of fun stuff happens. Like, we don't have to, we don't have to put labels on things just to make them entertaining. Man, man, what a no-sell of number 18 pit losing to Virginia. That's some pit shit, man. Here's how I see it. You know, we love the blood weeks, and it's several times per season. We get this question of, like, what happens when it's one step short of a blood week? Is that a cardiac event week?

Is that a migraine week? Is it, you know, whatever, whatever. There are two kinds of weeks in college football. There are blood weeks, and there are normal weeks. Normal weeks are awesome. Some of the silliest shit you've ever seen will happen. ridiculous top-to-bottom five

wildly unpredictable things will happen thank you for interjecting with that non-stop bullshit but it's a normal week and unless Utah just destroys BYU by untold number of points this is a normal week of college football

if for guidance by the way you can look to the is this blood week newly established on blue sky which answers your question in one way either yes or not at all it's ones and zeros or silence so i this was my first saturday um more much more on blue sky thin on twitter and it oh careful jason i didn't mind it at all it was it was a solid time solid time no complaints at all yeah i mean you know like

months ago we've had a griper too about blue sky but that it's it was great it's good it's working it's getting there it's really getting there yeah the only thing i found that I missed is that you don't have enough people going, oh my God, we're going to work on that. We'll get our spontaneous exclaimers in there. Also, there's people who don't know that you're a college football person, so sometimes you'll tweet out something random that everyone here would understand if we said, but definitely needs more context if you're a normal human being, and they'll say, can I have

some context for that? And the answer is no. No, no, never. We will not explain the plot. I've wanted to this Chili's and I'm going to scream about what matters to me. That's right. People get used to it. It'll get there.

And you know what matters to me? Ole Miss 28, Georgia, 10. That's what matters. Segway! That's a hell of a segue, man. Before we go, I know, I know, before we go on to Old Miss Georgia, that was a great segue, Ryan. I do want to mention one thing. I love Brent Key.

I love Brent Key so much. He is just an oaf. He's just a giant, giant hunk of offensive line. coach who's who's who's who's who's moonlighting as a head coach forever he he he looks like he looks like he looks like he has uh like an underbite right which i suspect is his like i'm gonna take a pose of grim resolve hmm there's my pose of grim resolve and it's stuck i'm duke nuke him yeah i love i love his general air his general attitude about everything and this was this is like even before even before he managed to win this job as an interim because they liked

him that much right which is like always kind of a mixed thing you go oh man players really like this guy he's really good and you're like we really like the babysitter she lets us smoke cigarettes you know like but honestly it probably has just to go to track record as we thoroughly scoured the candidates and worked with the search firm and found like it probably is just as useful it probably is yeah i love that he has this just like dedication to running the ball to the point of near insanity love that adore that like the ideal ratio for him is like one pass four runs how holly what is it you've compared i'm not going to bungle it what is it you have said he reminds you of oh he's just got this this is especially towards the end of the game and when he was

it was trying to get to the post-game interview and obviously he's in a scrum of students, rush in the field, but he's the dad who's at the, I think the thing I said was he's at the dad who's at the water park with his kids and then two other kids who are like his brother's kids and his sister-in-law

already doesn't like him and he gets to the car and all four kids hop out of the van and they start jumping up and down and hollering about the blacktop and that's when he realizes that none of them are wearing shoes and they're already at the water part and he's just got or in in like 15 years ago i might have said he's like he's chasing a toddler through a crowded mall that but some but somehow it works like

it's propulsive like he's get back here like he's he's completely harried at all times and he's like that's not no that sunscreen don't get out of your mouth don't eat it don't eat that everybody get everybody get their fruit snacks did you get your fruit snacks no no not in your ears that's not where fruit snacks go he's kind of got a save an adjacent voice and i'm slipping into that and i'm sorry about that he it's weird because usually when you see a guy with this kind of energy he's kind of he's kind of jammed up and he's kind of bearing down too hard to actually get anything done but this is working for him and i don't know if you notice but this is what he does and this is definitely what get your feet off the windshield

no you can't hang your feet out the window I don't care if you're driving hey you keep you keep track a little jaden back there I came in this water park with five kids and I'm leaving with five kids I'm not walking up those stairs I'll see y'all at the bottom oh my wallet is soaking wet that level of control where it's like well they're playing on the ceiling fan

but at least I can see them yeah yeah yeah and he's so but the thing is he's so happy right like he seemed perturbed and he's like yeah i love these kids i love them so i love this i love being outside it's so nice you know what it is you know what i've landed on it it's brinkie who has agreed to chaperone to help chaperone a children's birthday party at a roller rink that he is not aware is being conducted completely in like it is like being conducted entirely under black lights right right hey turn down to keshah turn it down 2024

Georgia Tech football is about letting the kids burn off some energy. Make that DJ play Coca-mo. Don't make me bust out my percolator. I'll do it. I said one piece of pizza. It's just like and after, I don't know if you know this, after they win It's a sheet kick. It's not supposed to have layers.

There's a good time we had to get out here and let the kids run around. Now maybe they'll get some fucking sleep. Listen, you used up the game card balance. That's your problem. Don't come crying to me. After every victory... How'd you get your hand stuck in the coin return he follows he follows the rule of like 30% of the southern men i know where the baseball hat is always on but it's an indicator of purpose time and mood so during

the game he turns it around during the game it's on and the minute he wins he's like it's party time right here just wang sport mode activate party brent spencer can you say cookie pizza in your best brinkie voice cookie pizza yeah he's got total Disney dad level and the minute that they hit the beer at Epcot Bam backwards That's definitely what he calls cookie cake too Is cookie pizza

But that's the energy He's either missing a partner Who's usually helping him co-parent Or he's got at least two additional kids More than he usually has And so he's kind of like on a brain RAM level He's on like a human processor level He's overclock

Right It's when your laptop fan is just whirring. Yes, yes. Like, Brent, I don't think your heart should be audible outside your body, but you're doing great, man. What got me thinking of that was this interview after where he's being mobbed and there's all these people on the field and he gets asked a question.

I can't hear you. The tone with which he was like, I can't hear you. I got all these kids around behind me. It's madness. I don't know where my keys are. The locker. I forget which locker we put all our swimsuits in. I felt like he was this close to saying.

I'm going to have to call you back to a real person he was talking to in front of him. Also, like, God love everybody. It's Georgia Tech. It can't be that loud. It's a Georgia Tech field storming. I did like, I did like at one point, maybe it was after Miami's last. I just want to read comments aloud in his voice. I think it was maybe after Miami had the phone near the end of the game.

They cut to some Georgia Tech fan thrown up double birds and just like, Man, you know that kid's got like a 4-1 GPA, and here he is fucking burning it down for you. Dude, I don't know if that's a grad student or what. That man had the face of a Georgia grad. Yeah, that's there. You know what I mean? Like, I think if you take that hat off, you find that there's a Kirby haircut underneath. I saw some, I saw some Bama Banks peeking.

That man had his face, like, in some sort of horrendous, like, engineering simulator, right? program for like 80 hours this week and then he went to that game and he was like you see that big lummocks of a man with no shirt on underneath his sweatshirt just raw dog in that shit with his hat pulled low and i know he's from someplace in alabama where they beat me up and and for being a nerd but i love him today i love him so much and then brent looks up and he's like hey you need to get a haircut we got to take you by there yeah yeah uh speaking of clothing kail and bore you get to wear a tank top next week. Look at you, my guy.

Yeah. He's rolling up nude for all we care at this point. Kailen to grow her not to show her. I don't know. No. I'm out on this limb. I'm out on this limb and it's not, I got to admit it's not going well. Kalin DeBer.

Kalin DeBer. Can we just do that? Oh my God. I think Bama fans might actually prefer the former, but yeah, let's go. That's it. That's true, that's true. Yeah. Kailen to bear. Man.

LSU. This is what happens when you hire a scab. Are you all happy? Are you all happy? This is what happens when you hire a cop. Ryan, I think Ryan referred to earlier as T-Moo Tiger. That one's not mine, but it is. Oh, sorry.

I thought that was you. Okay. Yeah, but you get some out-of-state carpet bagger who the fans are not excited about. He's not a carpet. He's not a carpet yet, but he might be at this point. I'm sorry. Are we talking about the tiger or Brian Kelly? I apologize.

Oh, yes. That's two fake tigers. Dude, what a horrible rug. If you just had Brian Kelly with his stupid head just sitting on the floor. That tigers is real as Brian Kelly's accent. I get the genuine sense that if you bothered to make Brian Kelly into a rug, he would somehow still be able to talk. He would be rubbery.

Do you think at some point the tiger was like, Jesus, they brought me from Florida all the way to watch this shit? Are you kidding me? Hey, I have a question for you. We have Florida State at home. I really, no, but I appreciate this, and I have, we have a lot of emotional love for LSU on this podcast, but I think we got to all agree that this was the cosmically necessary outcome because you really, really want in a situation to want to make sure they have every possible incentive to not pull this shit again. Yes, yes. who is the highest paid defensive coordinator in college football

oh oh oh oh oh LSU's guy makes two and a half million dollars to do what the market makes no mistakes but the LSU defense does I'm learning quarterbacks can run this changes everything I'm not questioning the judgment of the guy who hired Kim Mulkey sorry

Three. Remember what we were saying about the effect of rushing yardage on your team is either double or triple, depending on what you're running on offense? I'm going to go ahead and curve down to be graceful and nice to LSU on a night when they received no politeness whatsoever from Alabama. 311 rushing yards. But Spencer, who could have known that Jalen Milrow might run the ball? What film study could have foretold this unlikely circumstance? If you want me to figure out that Jalen Milrow at the running QB option, that's 2.75 million. That'll be another million. I got some good news and bad news.

That's DLC, my friend. You're going to have to podium if you want to unlock run defense. Oh, man. 311 fucking rushing yards. Didn't look hard. The worst was honestly, at the start of the fourth quarter, LSU is down 22. They have Bama in a third and nine where it's like, okay, if you can get a stop here, maybe, maybe you can like make this interesting. And immediately Jailen Lerow runs for a 72-yard touchdown, basically untouched.

I didn't know. You could do that. God damn. Just based on watching him play against my team. Oh, boy. Scampered right past the fake tiger. Just the bullshit bingle. This poor fucking tiger is like, I don't understand.

How come they get to run free? But I don't. This sucks. He gets exercise in fresh air. Also, there were so many layers of plexiglass and mesh. and mesh and bars that you can't even see the tiger should have worried about securing the damn tide no you should have had you don't tell me there's nobody in baton roos who could have made you an extremely elaborate puppet that could have that could have been a man in a tiger suit like be

honest yeah oh god that be sweltering oh yeah dog with stripes painted on it that's what they should do cat no cat about a cat you want to make something mad make a cat make a regular ass cat Matt. It hates you anyway. 311 Russian. Serve you right. Can we, have we consulted with the Oracle Huey Long on this situation at all? Have we heard from him lately?

I'm absolutely disgusting. Governor Long. Governor Long, it appears that the tide runs this bitch. Governor Long, they put a false tiger. I need you tell that cursed tallywacker, Jeff Landry. He's going to get real tiger.

I know. I know real tigers. I can go get them. Governor, I heard this tiger was from Florida. You go, you go get my friend. Manuel Ocasillas. He's in. He's in, you need to go down to Honduras.

You can get anything you want in Honduras. That's what you need. Get some sort of bootleg tiger. The tiger probably has to hog. That's what we already did, guffin along. They don't get no more bootleg than this one. Governor Long, we bought all those environmentalists in life. and it was all for nothing.

You tell Melchase, I know what he did in Havana at 1922. He's going to give you two tigers. He's going to give you his daughter. He's going to give you three cases of whiskey. He's going to give you all the bananas you can handle. God damn. Governor Long, my mentions are threatening to make me into soup.

I'll make you into soup. You don't give me a good, goddamn decent tiger. I think barely three feet long. Long. That's right. He's in my name. My name is my name is my name. I need a tiger that's too shitty tiger.

I want seven feet worth of tiger. You think them, you think them bama people going to take them serious? We don't come out there with nothing but six feet of tiger. That's two shitty tigers. Two shitty tigers units. Six feet of tiger. That's what we need.

Six feet of tiger and a 10 foot box. LSU will not be great until we have 12 foot worth of tiger. What kind of subway sandwich artist, Tiger, is this? I ask you. You tell Brian Kelly, I'm going to let that bitch loose in his neighborhood. It's going to eat every fucking dog. Governor Long, Alabama's quarterback ran for more yards than our tiger is long. It's going to eat a dog in 311 yards.

That's what he's going to do. Put a dog in 311 yards. They're going to take every one of them. Drive past your house with a atomic gun and a monograph cloak. that's how we do it the tiger upset my bethany governor long oh you tell bethny to come on over

I got something for all right governor long that's my daughter governor long the students are beginning to doubt the existence of tigers you give all them students either a snow cone or a hit in the face that's what you did

you need to send it big letter you go down state highway patrol you ask for big larry see this is when graduation ceremonies were real that's right you go up to say this is from governor long congratulations smack you're still a senior everybody gets the snow cone promised we could feed bobby jindal to the tiger he's not even hungry i promised you two dollars a snow cone and a ticket to the state fair that's it that's how i ran You can spend $2 on another snow cone. $2 is enough to feed a man for seven weeks. Thank you, Governor.

Wow. Wow, what an otter. What an otter. Thank you, sir. What an otter. Go, tigers. It might have been an otter in that cage. Excuse me, that was Judge Catfish.

Who's to say? Oh, my God. Well, she gets for painting an audit. Welcome back, exhumed corpse of Huey Long, incredibly well-preserved. Just, what a... It's just delightful that the fan base that is... Sorry, Jason, can we get tiger inflation real quick? Can we get it?

It's a request from the chat. Oh, oh, oh. Now we're just dolls with the strings. I thought I was charged with increasing the price of tigers. I mean Evidently LSU can't afford Whatever the price is

Inflation affects us all Yeah They need to fire that motherfucker Brian Kelly's never wanted anything there Oh my God no And it was true before And it was true when they hired him And it sure shit is true now

I hate this man I hate watching LSU teams With like No personality I hate it I hate it for you How is it that the most fight We got out of Tigers this week

Was on a fucking Auburn a Hubbard Airplane with basketball players. Woof. In a plane that really in a plane that I was actually marveling could contain basketball players at all based on the size.

Yes. It was a small charter flight, not a large one. So if you want to know whether the pilot could feel them knocking around back there, the answer is yeah, yeah, he could feel the whole thing.

That's why he turned around. Do you think Bruce Pearl wanted him to turn the plane around or do you like which direction like it's clearly in this situation Bruce Pearl is threatening in one direction or the other which way do you think he's threatening like is he threatening the team or is he threatening the pilot down oh the pilot 100% yeah yeah not this can't be this cannot be Bruce Pearl's first time threatening an airline pilot but we got to practice you can't just you know can't just go in unready you have to have been he's a coach he's like no I've I've I've

I've committed a federal aviation crime before. Let me. I got this. I don't think they would win, but it's a fucking crying shame we don't get to watch LSU and Auburn play this year. That really is. I mean, Ryan, I could peel you

a dead armadillo off the side of I-10 if you really want one. Divisionless football has taken a lot from us, but it would be much better if we were like, well, now LSU has to go play Auburn and deal with all their feelings. Have fun.

not what's going to a truly special rivalry just just guaranteed i say every year it ends with the final score of 2421 but how we get there is uh truly a journey it's a wonderful journey speaking of odd speaking of odd scores i didn't have to play football today so that was nice no they didn't but auburn fans i'm sorry i brought up over football to to return after diverting through hughie long's front yard with a martigraw float to return old miss got to 28 the hard way. Yeah, for instance. Yeah.

Like, they, that is one of the weirder scores you will see. It's, it's not a weird story. It's actually really interesting because this is Lane Kiffin's first win in six tries against the top five opponent, ever. He unclinched his jaw for like 45 seconds. It was crazy. Yeah. It never, yeah.

He never looked exactly happy about it. No. I think, I think he probably has that thing where, like, a coach, he's going, I'm just remembering the other five times I lost. That's probably what he was thinking about. But they got to, they got to 28 with more field goals than man's mind can comprehend,

which usually kills you in a game like this. But fortunately, Georgia was total ass on offense today. Complete ass. Do you want to say it, or should I say it? Say it. That it's going to make it real funny when they beat Tennessee by 28 next week? Yeah, I'll say it. Fire Bobo.

Oh, that's a spicy vintage. I think it's become clear that Carby Smart was just a Stetson Bennett merchant all along. Do you know who the last person to throw this many interceptions and this many games for Georgia was? Mike Bobo. Do you think he's just trying to get his old records, like, erased? Yeah. Hey, listen, you just go out. out there have faith and keep throwing he goes home and he's like almost done it

almost they don't they don't expect you to throw there that's why you got to do it they could not protect carson beck not that carson back helped them by holding onto the ball a real long time but he didn't really have anybody open to throw to and they sacked him five times i haven't seen georgia have this much trouble on the ground since the battle of rocky face ridge the uh the end of this game i liked it i liked it a lot fuck all y'all I the end of this game is as bad like I haven't seen Georgia unravel like this under Kirby and a really first half of the first half of the Bama game is the closest comparison yes yes but I haven't seen close out a game like this yes yes these I'm going to read the conclusions of everything after their first drive in the second half the Georgia offense which is fumble Interception. Fumble over on downs. That's it. That's it. They had a drive of nine minutes end with an interception at the old Miss 27. Just a long journey to nowhere with no results.

That's their entire second half. And it looked frazzled. Like Ernest Green, the kid playing left tackle had a shit day he wasn't the only person who had a bad day he's not a bad player he had a horrendous day yeah george's weird like you kind i i guess i kind of assumed the kentucky game was a one-off that like early game you have in the year where things don't look right you still pull out the victory the florida the first half of the florida game was sort of like eh it's it's the cocktail party you kind of get some weird stuff like like this, this is just a wildly inconsistent team, which is a weird thing to say about Georgia because they have like made their bread and butter on being wildly consistent under Kirby Smart

after that like first year or two. And now it's just sort of like they'll have these long stretches where they're just not very effective. And like Carson Beck doesn't really know who he's supposed to throw to. He's not getting great protection. He doesn't have a run game that's going to balance that because they ain't really clear in decks in the run game. like they have in the past and in addition to that he's forcing the ball badly because there's no Led McConkey

and there's no Brock Bowers out there yeah yeah everybody looks a lot better when you have a when you have the broad side of a barn to throw to yeah when you have a 30 league girl all pro out there which is what Brock Bowers look like but also hey good for Ole Miss

like Jackson Dart gutted this thing out he got banged up early came back into the game and was dominant at times like completed like did the things that other old miss quarterbacks including himself had not done in previous years converting uh converting their downs and moving them down the field and doing everything that he's supposed to do like they were they were good enough they weren't spectacular but like as bad as georgia was and as good as old miss's defense was there didn't really have to be so

also that many field it has to be said that many field goals and that weather kind of an achievement yeah yeah we'll possibly get an egg bowl that old miss needs to win to maybe make the SEC championship game. Like, I think I would not recommend. Don't start trying to figure out the SEC tiebreakers right now. They are a mess. Don't do it at all. Today made them extremely complicated in ways that I think the only thing I,

the only path that I can clearly envision is Texas and Texas A&M play at the end of the year, then they rematch in the SEC championship game, then they rematch somewhere in the playoffs. That's the only thing I can get on board mentally. right now is this where i apologize for speaking something into existence if you want you don't have to but you can depends on what it is sorry i'm not sorry but it is my fault okay then how about instead of apologize uh acknowledge can we do that yeah what time was it was like four o'clock this is earlier day and i i i mistakenly thought that if i didn't say this on the show it wouldn't come to pass but i have decided that all my emotional well-being this season is

writing on every SEC team heading to the postseason with at least two losses. The reasoning behind this is simple. I want to see what the committee says in order to fit eight teams with 20 losses between them into the 12-team playoff bracket. And it's actually not that far-fetched now is the thing. One more loss each for Tennessee and Texas will do it. Tennessee has to play both Georgia and Vanderbilt. still. So there's a pretty good chance. Oh, and lost their starting quarterback and starting

running back and their second running back was already out tonight. That happened on route to beating Mississippi State. So there's a pretty good chance Tennessee splits the bit between now and the end of the season. It's fine. Everybody else is doing. Texas has something much more interesting ahead of them because they're better on paper, sure, lots better maybe, than all three of the teams remaining on their schedule, but in terms of what our buddy Bruce Feldman, in terms of the body blow theory, that would you want to go to Arkansas, then play Kentucky, then go to Kyle Field? No.

They're going to be so tired. They're going to be, oh, God, they're going to have so many bruises. Playing Arkansas and Kentucky hurts. Except if it does, like, I hear what you're saying, but also this year, especially you get that Arkansas game where you're like, huh, 48. three points i just found in my pocket cool yeah maybe yeah maybe but like uh texas has like it is not without at the at the very least it's a run through a very unsanitary fun house between here and their thanksgiving game gosh if only like i don't know based on what you're saying it must

be like basically impossible to go undefeated surely indiana couldn't possibly do it if all these titans of the SEC are falling yeah i i i i I don't know if there are any undefeated team. It's 10-win Indiana, bitch! Except for the one we've been predicting since the summer! It's 10-win Indiana. In the tank for Indiana. We got receipts.

They're in the house. You can't do anything. You pick up the phone to call the police. Boom. It's 10-win Indiana on the other end of the line. Oh, I'm sorry. Signetti, Chief of Police on the other line. Google me.

I win, and I'm in your house right now. Do I smell smoke? Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. It's 10-Winn, Indiana. Burning your house down right now. He's blowing a smoke ring that just spells out the hashtag, like Gandalf with that little boat. Got the only sig we need.

You hop into an Uber. It's Curtis Rourke driving both Indiana football and you to 10 wins. You can't escape it. Searching General's warning. Your face. Correct. Write me if I'm wrong, Ryan. You wrote an excellent newsletter respecting Indiana as the premier Indiana respecter on the internet.

Thank you. It's a competitive category, admittedly. We're having our fun, but they keep doing this. Yes, they do. The first 10 win season? The first 10 win season in program history of power programs, they were alone with, I believe it's Vanderbilt and Iowa State to never have won 10 wins and really hadn't come close. all that often. So I don't care that Michigan's bad this year.

I don't care what the strength of schedule looks like. Indiana, winning 10 games, to say nothing of winning 10 straight to start the season, is fucking miraculous. And you will thank college football God every day that you got to witness it. Did they come very close to not winning this game?

Sure did. Is that what happened? Sure isn't. I will not throw anyone under the bus here. but I know that a friend of a friend heard from a Michigan fan that Indiana fans need to act like they had been there. Sir or ma'am, they literally... Shut the fuck up!

They literally have never! Oh, my God. This would be like Michigan fans acting like they got into Yale. How? Listen, listen, when the bumpkins roll up and they're like, hey what's this weird like bowl of black things and they just start

scooping up caviar with their hands you can't be mad because no I think that's the right way to eat caviar it is yeah there's no who cares about having a special caviar it's fish eggs don't be don't pretend like you're better than me

yes smear it on a nacho chip who cares lobster used to be for poor folks yeah that's cat food yeah Indiana gets a caviar Michigan Ryan's not even I see complaints

of Ryan being mean if Ryan was really mean he'd say you couldn't get into Northwestern come on you got weightless in Northwestern

it's good that's good yeah they said they said I was it's a public I mean you know what else is public the YMCA

I failed the Hamilton test wait what's the Hamilton test oh no this is going to upset me isn't it yeah

they just ask you to recite lyrics from Hamilton okay yeah listen it's not it's not like Michigan

isn't full eligible yet oh wait What? Huh. Ryan? It's a vacation year. Gap year. Michigan's gap year.

Michigan, you all better beat Northwestern because if you go into the Ohio State game needing that to make a bowl. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no, but then that would be the best. That would be, okay.

It'd be a very funny way to make a ball. This Michigan team beating Ryan Day again. I don't have to talk about Ohio State Purdue that much, but having watched none of Ohio State Purdue and just seeing trickles of people on social media being like, Ohio State, what are you doing? I was like, well, surely something, and then you look up and it's 45-0 final. What are you? What possible worry could you have had? That is not, however.

Again, I am being such a responsible journalist. I will not name names. I had Notre Dame fans. talking to Notre Dame fans before their game against Florida State even kicked off that were like, I'm nervous. I'm worried. Oh, come on, y'all. That's performative. Come on.

It wasn't. You know. It wasn't. It was genuine concern. It's nonsense. I get it. No, but I get it because you don't want to be the one. You don't want to be the one who's like, yeah, we lost to that team. They got some ancient superstitions that they're working with too there. But this Florida State is such a broke-deck excuse of approach.

Come on. Stop it. You sound like a Florida fan. You're not. Don't do that. That's shit. Y'all got that. Y'all bit that shit from me.

Embarrassing. It's supposed to be my thing. So yeah, I don't. Congratulations to Purdue on whatever you did scoring no points that briefly scared people. I truly don't know what it is. And clearly it didn't matter. I feel like this is a, like every fan base does this shit. Really, every sports fan does this shit.

But the Ohio, Pennsylvania, whatever shape that would be, block brick of sports fans, I think this is where most of it happens. My most sub sandwich. Sure. Okay, yeah, yeah, I see it, yeah. That beats other things it could be, yeah. There's a higher concentration of this behavior in that sandwich. In Mimel's Grinder, yep.

The Grimel Sandwich, which is sitting on Mimel's presented, like, platter, which is the state of Tennessee. In the poor me, po-boy. The haters hoagie. The making up bullshit to feel bad about sandwich. Sure. And I think it can be explained by if you live in Pennsylvania and Ohio, you are surrounded. by things that make like yes the pro sports there are constantly tormenting you in most cases if you're a Steelers fan you're fine shut up but like there is enough that but if you're Ohio state and Penn State most of the time you're fine calm down take a deep breath it's okay

yeah that's a big part of it you know your teams your teams are always really good and you don't have actual problems so you make stuff up no yeah meanwhile Purdue Purdue there's a team with problems. Listen, man, that's a team that's a team that has, Ryan Walters didn't go for it on fourth and goal instead kicked a field goal, which they missed. Was that when people got scared? I don't understand.

I think, no, I think that was. And then he kicked a field goal and they missed. I appreciate that because it immediately let them know, I am no threat to you, bear. None. You will eat me easily. I'm going to lay here in your favorite burrito, this North Face jacket. And you can devour me, because that's fine.

If you're a Purdue fan, that's the moment where you go, I don't really care what they do with you. I don't. I'm done. I'd be so fucking done with Ryan Walters, if that was the case. Yeah. This was like a reasonably good team not that long ago. Yeah. It was.

Was. Yeah, that shit's done. They're bad now. They got Yom Chod, if you're a Dragon Ballsie fan. cratered dead like the forever death not coming back

you're back to Danny Hope which that's the one case where hope is a really bad thing yeah wow that's tough you're not quite a Darrell you only have the mustache I don't think you're at Darrell Hazel levels yet

but you might you're getting there that's okay it's grim it's grim but I'm not here to make you feel better I'm here to tell you the truth And the truth is, and you already know it, the program is butt.

They're a whole lot of butt right now. So speaking of but, can we circle back to Florida State real quick? Sure. Last week, I briefly pondered where they might rank on the all-time most overrated teams list. I'm going to say they're currently on pace for top five, assuming they're able to beat Charleston Southern and assuming they lose to Florida. No pressure, Florida. but there are some true doozies ahead of them who could forget 2000 Alabama

started number three finish three and eight lost to UCF I think prehistoric UCF things of that nature 1964 Ole Miss went from number one to 5 5 and 1 1956 Notre Dame from number three to 2 and 8 a team so overrated that Paul Hornung stole the Heisman trophy

despite not doing much of anything all that season, the overratedness somehow didn't dissipate. And then number one, currently, 1954 Illinois, which went from number six to one and eight. FSU has a shot to overtake that if they lose to Charleston Southern. Charleston Southern is not a good FCS team. So FSU is currently still, currently has a shot at being the most overrated team of all time, and I think that's awesome. Because it's quicker at this point, rather than give you a smattering of teams that have more wins

than Florida State. Here are the teams that don't. 1 in 8 Purdue, 1 in 8 Kennesaw State, who took you tepped over time today. Yeah, like, we should probably get a little more credit than that. Improving. Also, first year in FBS, so everybody pumped the brakes. Oh, and 9, Kent State, 1 in 7 Air Force,

a thing that bears further scrutiny at some other point in time. and one in eight southern miss who already fired their coach that's it that's the list every other team in fbs has more wins than florida state it was a good day ryan it was it was it was a it was a fantastic fucking day and that really that really made me happy to hear i'm very i'm very happy about that you know else had it really yeah sorry go ahead You noticed that had a really, really good day was Oregon. Because Oregon on one drive, one drive did some of the most outlandish shit I have ever seen in my life. One drive where I believe they called an actual reverse pass.

Some people go, it was a double reverse. All right, it's an end around with a reverse. Okay, I don't actually know, I don't think they handed it off. I watched the clip. I think it's two handoffs. That's it. In addition to that, they faked a punt and extended the drive, scored with a lineman, and then when they went for two,

they gave it to their left tackle on a direct snap. If you want to know what that looks like, have you ever seen those shots of an elephant seal just like flopping onto the beach? That's what it looked like with the left tackle crunching into the end zone. The tacklers on the other side of the ball look terrified visibly terrified in fact the guy who tries to tackle the left tackle and the two point conversion and i am looking at the footage right now um he starts diving for his feet like

three yards before he gets there this is like i've seen empire strikes back this is how you take down the at walker yeah it's it's not quite a business decision because he does legit try to make the tackle but uh he's he's decided well ahead of time i'm not going to going anywhere near center mass. Oh, yeah, right. I'm going to try to trip him. I'm going to stay away from the pointy bits. I'm going to try to trip him like a chair leg.

That's what I'm going to try to do. You stand behind him, and then I'll push him over you, and it'll work perfectly. Yes, 39, 18. Oregon is now, now joins, now just trying to keep up with Indiana at 10 and O. Obvious Big 10. What a class of the. Titans, that will be in Indianapolis. This is what they wanted. When they went and ate the Pact 12,

what they wanted was this exact matchup. Iron sharpens iron. Brian, one of those teams you mentioned as having the same number of wins as Florida State that might, that list might shrink because Air Force is currently beating

Fresno State. Oh, well, okay. We might have. FSU might be even lonelier soon. Thank you for me. Utah up a lot of 11 on BYU. If that were to hold, we would have three top 10 upsets,

which is a very productive day indeed. Spencer, you mentioned an exciting drive. Can we now turn to your program, North Texas, had a day against likewise undefeated Army number 25 Army when something very special happened in the second half. Army went on a 21-play voyage, 94 yards, 14. minutes for a touchdown that, you know, they didn't quite need it, but it sure did salt the game away. Coach, how did that feel on the sideline, just watching that just continually unfold over and over,

just like the nonstop unfolding of that? Well, it reminded me of musically going to a Sigur Ross concert because there were a lot of wailing, a lot of wailing, a lot of strange noises, and they played too long. long. The song went on too long. Jason, give me the time on that again? 1354, to be exact. Okay, we're legit close. Now, if you go, man, that sounds really, really long. Like, that might be some kind of record. You're real close because the longest drive in the history of college football happened in the 2004 Emerald Bowl, which involved Navy. That's

Paul Johnson's baby yes and we're talking about emeralds we are and it went 1426 so we really like army was close to like if we dithered even a little bit more and maybe gotten a penalty and had to you know re get some like retake some yardage we're talking about getting close to a record setting drive yeah right 1426 by the way in a bowl game that ended uh the drive ended with a field goal That's correct. That was a 26 play drive. So you're saying that on this drive, Army was just thinking more. That's more and then more and then more and then more. But Spencer, what if I want to think more and more and more and more? Well, if you want more and definitely not less, you come on over to prize picks. That's right. Price is the best place to get real money sports action with over 10.

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your cash. You could run your game. Hey, Spencer. Wazoo has more points than they did a minute ago. John Mateer, baby. I think this one might have been a run. John Matier, by the way,

definitely somebody I have selected more on. What categories? All of them. More TDs. More interceptions. More fumbles. More rushing touchdowns. More yardage.

You can do all of that, as I do on prize picks. And last week, pretty decent. Pretty decent. We're on the way back up. We're not quite to even on the season. Are we at like acorns level yet? No, we're not quite at acorns level, no. But we are getting there.

The data has improved. and of course I am buoyed as always by the unstoppable Iowa offense You right now I have Yeah What if it will

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will save you Spencer, what's that offer code if you want to try out price books for yourself? Wow, you can use full cast dart to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's right. Code full cast dark to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Prasphix, run your game. Thank you so much. So many results to discuss what the fuck happened in Oklahoma and Bazoo?

Man, we almost had a corker. So pretty dull game for most of the game, and then in the last 50 minutes. Combined 34.4th quarter is the short answer there. But probably from like high level execution and teams really getting after it, right? Well, someone's getting executed over this, yeah. Yeah, okay, Brian Kelly. Because the final sequence, how are you in you? That's the final sequence, if you want to know, it's great to look at the box score

and you see the words fumble, return, touchdown, two times in four lines. That's right. OU was down 10-9. Mizzou scores. They scored that's 16-16. Then, then Mizzou fumbles. And they fumble and they hand the ball to OU, and OU goes up. and

yeah and then Missou gets a touchdown to tie it here's a great question does Lincoln Riley outlast his successor

at Oklahoma well that's a great question because OU was up and then oh you up no not anymore no

no like missing that text Brett Vanibals fumbled his team fumbled the ball back and with a 17-yard fumble return, Zion Young of Mizzou gave the Tigers a 30-23 lead. Further confirming your suspicion that the reason that Eli Drinkwitz walks kind of weird is because he does have a horseshoe up his ass. Dot horse.

Oklahoma's only SEC win this season is that fucking Auburn game that Auburn completely threw up in the last three minutes. Everything else on the schedule lost. See, that feels like a designation we should hand out every year. That fucking Auburn game. Yeah. I mean, I think basically, if LSU wasn't going to play Auburn, Oklahoma got to play the part of LSU for that Auburn game this year.

Then later this year, they'll get to play actual LSU and before that actual Alabama. They need to win one of those games to get bowlers. eligible. Whoops. Not ideal. In a year without LSU Auburn, we still get to designate a game as LSU Auburn.

Yes. It's like having an understudy in a musical. Tonight, the part of LSU will be played by Oklahoma. Hey, Holly, where did you go a minute ago? What are you talking about? Like, mentally?

Mm-hmm. I think I've been here. Oh, when I was asking about emeralds? Mm-hmm. Yeah, so we talk all the time about how we think this is a well that has completely been trying to find a non-sexual verb here.

Can't do it. Anyway, I went to look and see if there was such a thing as Mimal erotica. There's not. Not yet. How hard did you look? I feel like that might be the only thing left. The one thing on the internet

we haven't sexualized is Mimel. You're telling me there's not a subreddit called like literally map porn? Dude, I was gone for like five minutes. minutes. That's why I was looking. Hold on. Can you Google Mimel's? I looked for, I also looked for Mimel fanfic. I'm not a child. Can you check Google Mimel's Tennessee Dick? Oh, God, hang on. That's a poetic kind of phrase.

I grabbed him by as Knoxville. Oh. Hmm. Okay. Yeah, read it. Okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you for Reddit. Thank you for R slash mildly penis. This is 10 years ago. it. I knew it. The subject, the subject of which is, of course, Tennessee. Just going to drop this in the chat for everybody's enjoyment. There you go. Thanks. Thank you for correcting me, as is your role.

No, I just, my lord. No, I meant that you're a man. Oh, well. I don't like that. Oh, come on. Sort of? I just, huh. There was no good, there was no good way out of that.

You're right. You're right. It's a flat spin. You just got a lift to plane carry it. Stull, stall, stowl, eject, eject, eject. Myble take, myel dick, myel dick. To analyze the segment, we went to Greg Fythe of the NTSB, former air investigator. Hey, speaking of mildly penis, did we want to talk about Iowa, UCLA? Oh, I thought you were going to talk about Oklahoma State being 0 in 7 in Big 12th play.

Oh, no, no, no. God damn. When Mike Gundy says nobody wants to work anymore does he mean his football team or him how how are you going to call everybody who's hating on you poor and then go let an extremely average tCU team just beat your ass for four quarters because tc u's a rich kid well tcs are rich kids i guess so man wow and also mike gundy's about to be a lot richer if not employed we're gonna find out mike gundy just spent this entire time like it's like what were you doing that season and he's like oh man i was reading about Werewolves. A lot of books.

Mike Gundy is writing Amazon romances at work. About other states. About Colorado and Wyoming. I don't know, man. Look at Oklahoma. It's got that whole sticky outy part. The things you can do with it.

I've been reading this history book about our secret president. That's the bowel spread of the good ship, Oklahoma. You know about our secret president, Moon Knight? I've been reading it all about him. He's crazy. Fucking fought Dracula.

why god, he's in the moon night now? Oh my God, this makes so much sense. It is. Not the show. Not the show. Not the comics either. No, no. John, this is loud quitting.

There's nothing quiet about that man. Oh, God, y'all, you're right. This just got Graham. He's tanking this to take a cabinet position. Oh. Wow. This is, Mike Gundy, just with a large, selection a console in front

of him of buttons. It's just people to blame, right? Haters. The Knights Templar. The impoverished. The impoverished. Ferrets. I'm blaming Ferrets this week. Immigrants is going to come up on the list pretty soon here. It's not going to be pretty.

I think Mike Gundy's understanding of immigrants is limited to the Da Vinci Code. They're pale and they're terrifying. Blame and Paul Bettney. I'm in the book, not the movie. Come on. Give him some credit. I just wanted to say Paul Bettney.

Yeah, Auburn won the basketball game, by the way. So fights on the plane, performance enhancing event. Much like cocaine in the stands. Yeah, that's it. Remember, this is the year of strife. It's the year of getting irresponsibly high. Or high irresponsibly. You decide.

yeah whatever you define as altitude it's going to help you get where you need to go this is another another game that just absolutely like i thought it was going to be competitive penn state just beat the shit out of washington why did you wait wait why did you think it was going to be competitive uh i thought the wolf man was going to continue the regression oh come on come oh yeah i thought i thought they were going to have a little bit of body blow games that happens against really good teams not against eh teams oh yeah Washington's past game is ass

it's very bad it's very bad so yeah they they beat the crap out of them ran for 266 yards was not was never in doubt Colorado 7 and 2 yeah that's true I feel bad for that but Jason just hit on the one where I was like wolf I didn't know anything

the wolf man eats the fish yeah I can't do shit tonight so Colorado really might go to the playoff. Yeah, then really might, man. Texas, okay, Texas Tech made that interesting for a minute. Sure.

Yeah, it was a bit tighter than the score. Which keeps happening to them. It was, but Holly, do you remember what kept it from being any more interesting? A goal line stand. Colorado, one of the worst defenses I've ever seen a year ago. Yeah, that was weird. It's still weird, but hey,

full credit awarded for improving drastically on defense to a degree where didn't even really notice Colorado's offense like you usually do. The defense dominated this game when they had to. Also, Travis Hunter put a tortilla in his pants during the game. Just normal,

normal Lubbock, Texas stuff, man. I just moved him up my draft four. Type of shit that goes on. Like front or back? Shved it down the front of his pants before a play, picked it up off the ground. And then after the game, uh, autographed it and, um, yeah, it was, it was just some Lubbock shit was

happening. Let me sign your dick tortilla. Here's the thing though. Like what could you do in Lubbock at night that would be like, oh, that's too weird. That's too weird for here, sir. Please don't do that. You know what? When you phrase it,

game-worn tortilla, I understand that better. If you call it like tortilla swatch. Non-fungible tortilla. Tort coin. Thank you, koala brain. Tortilla. Mildly. Yeah, I'm a lawyer.

I specialize in torts. Watch me. I guess that's better than spicy penis. Tort law. Holly, you wanted to... I'm sorry, I need a minute for tort law. Yeah. I wanted to congratulate the winner of the

winner of the most Instagrams shared by coach, most inspo coach game bowl, which is Minnesota. Rutgers. Two try-harder coaches do not exist in this world between Mr. Keep Chopping Wood and Keep Rowan. Well, you know PJ worked for him. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Like, he's like a disciple of his. We dug Mercer together. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they really did. And they both have, they both really exhort a motto based on, you know, some sort of menial, repetitive labor. Right? They're like, yeah, chop that wood.

row that boat I like that PJ has his whole lore universe right his whole like system of motivation and like scrolls and holy books

highly developed and wikis and like yeah yeah like nectons it's constantly developing and developing whereas Shiano has taken the opposite route

where he's forever whittling his motivational system whereas PJ has you know a gigabyte's worth of text, whereas Shiana was just out here saying, Hurt! You know, and like, that's it. That's it. That's all he wants you to know. Two years from now, it's just going to be, er!

Ouch! You know, this year we're really... Lean! This year we're really focusing on... He's turning into Adam West Batman for some reason. Thwop! Love languages, thwap! I'm just going to speak...

Capao! Nothing but, I'm not to speak in nothing but home repairs, right? Joel in the comments out of it. Grout those tiles. Just keep grouting the tile. Biff. What's the weirdest Batman noise? Splort. Yeah, that's a good one. Bunk. That's the best. The one team that embraces that, what are you doing? Bunk. We're going to keep bonking. I need you to go out there and bunk.

Oh, dear. Boise State. Did any of you all watch? any of Boise State, Nevada? Ugly. Fucking ugly. What a dicey fucking game this was. Boise State for some reason is like, what if we didn't just give it to Ashton Genty?

But, and somehow escaped. He carried it 34 times. He did, and he should have carried it 36, based on some of the other mistakes that they made. Like, this is a three-win, no-wins in conference team that took it to the fire really this is this was not confidence inspired from boise state it wasn't that bad but it was like man they made some weird mistakes in this one they also benefited like nevada getting fumbling the ball on the

one yard line this was oof tricky tricky stuff this was one of those games where and if you've been on uh in and around the sideline for one of these everyone is sitting around exuding the phrase out of their pores do something like someone do something yeah oh my god yeah how would Is it still happening? Yeah. Yeah. It was one of those. Yeah, it's very like a supervillain.

Seize him! What I get after him now! Guards! Cobra Commander just smashing buttons furiously. Yeah, that was this game. That was just like, Jesus, just get this thing over with. Get us the fuck out of here, and we're going to forget it ever happened. Yep.

Which is something they should absolutely do. Because, hey, everyone's going to forget it if they just keep winning. So congratulations. Yeah, I had, you know, we've been eyeing, like, Can Boise State, if they're able to win the Mountain West? Well, you know, is there a chance they could rank higher than the Big 12 champ? It's not impossible at this point, but, you know, it seems pretty unlikely. There's been, they've got a little help recently. After Miami lost, I was like, okay, wait, maybe they could finish higher than the ACC champ.

But if they play like this, it's going to be. It's going to be tough. It's going to be a long road. But regardless. Iowa State losing again to Kansas. It helps Boise State's case in that regard. Yeah, sure. Pit.

Man. Pit. You said pit. You said pit and two have started laughing. Sometimes it's a pit and sometimes it's a pit. There was a moment after Miami lost where I was talking to NFL, NFL insider Stephen Godfrey. about the ACC standings he's scouting

and I was like oh right Pitts only got one ACC lost they're still in position to potentially play in the conference nope lost 2419 to Virginia in a game that mostly

I could tell online was Pitt fans screaming about the refs which is probably not ideal like to the extent that we're it was one of those or it was like I don't care of it costs Pat Artuzi $80,000 he needs to lighten to the refs at the post-game press conference.

And while I'm sympathetic to the idea that this was a poorly officiated game, I would simply not only score 19 points against UVA. That would be my counterpoint. I think that would be a better tactic. But we're all different. It's bold, but, you know, what the dudes wants, the dudes gets. He said, I need you guys to be Steely Dan tonight because we're going, hey, 19. as high as we're going.

Don't even know who that is. It's not even close to a fucking Narduzzi. Then then up next for the dues is Clemson at Louisville. This thing could unravel in a hurry. That's fine. It's good. You know, he's got this. He's got this.

Yeah, he's got this. You know who else has got this? That's right. Seven win, Yukon. Seven win. Light work. Actually fell badly behind against UAB and undercloth. They did, they did.

Outscore them 21-0 in the fourth quarter to win by eight, but who's going? Hey, still. Winners, hey, winners come through. That's true. And, you know, the dog was slow to wake up. But once they did, whew, that sled got moving. Bunch. This is already their best season since the first Randy Edsel era.

It would, at this rate, it would take, if Florida State won out, it would still take them a month of the next year's games to match Yukon's win total from this year. And Yukon That was fun Yukon might be nine and three Who allowed this to happen? Which means Yukon could, if they win their bowl game, Yukon could win ten games this year.

Yeah, like without anyone on earth seeing any of their games. No, without it. This is, this. This would be their first 10 win FBS season. This moment right here, the first time anyone's talked about 2024 Yukon football. Folks, sound off in the comments if you have watched any of this. I won't believe you, but sound off.

We have arguments in the comments to rank Yukon. Fuck it, sure. Sure, yeah, I'm good for it. By the way, I'm sharing something in the chat right now, which is the Auburn players reacting to their win in the locker room by saying, by saying you got a bunch of dogs up on a plane. What did you expect to happen? Did I mention that one of the...

You can't keep adding animal mascots, Auburn. Did I mention that one of the players involved in the fight spent the trip back to Auburn on the plane? Oh, I saw this. Yeah, retweeting his own highlights. He's like, sure. I love that energy. I got into a fight.

Now I'm just going to make everyone watch how cool my highlights are. I think they're winning everything. This team's going to win the national time. man duke could win 10 games too like yeah cruise today versus nancy state i see nothing stopping them what what kind of high level bowl can we get a duke duke and yukon nine win duke and nine win yukon facing off it does that exist have i made this up out of nowhere oh god i don't have any of the ties i don't have i don't have i don't have any of the ties committed to memory anymore because they've all been upended okay you'd listen you're going to have to make up a bowl

And it's going to have to have the most bootleg sponsor imaginable for these two teams. I mean, Yukon being an independent kind of adds a layer of complexity to it. Yeah, yeah, it does complicate things. I mean, there's also the thing where ESPN owns half of them, and ultimately the ties are fake. So, ESPN's just going to. That's where the Nutmeg Bowl comes in. Yeah, sure. Bowl eligible South Carolina.

Oh, my God. Not only is there a real Nutmeg Bowl, it's a bowling alley in Fairfield, Connecticut. There's your sponsor. The Nutmeg Bowl, sponsored by Nutmeg Bowl. bowl played in a play this game in a bowling alley perfect that's a bowl eligible south carolina getting ball eligible by beating ball eligible vanderbilt yep yep yeah by by by by by by the way like by chasing diego poppy all over the yard like that that defensive line is nasty as hell yeah they very mean yeah um eight one louisiana should probably acknowledge that

do they want a tiger do they want a billy napier i guess they don't need that uh i mean he's right there he is right there yeah florida played today they lost texas it's fine go away yeah it's fine scored though doesn't matter yeah did score the streak lives on did score stupidest god damn shit in the world you would think that florida might want to put up some kind of headline um that involves literally anything but their basketball program and the scoring streak ending would have been as good as anything else yeah it would have it would have helped god uh air force indeed more wins than florida state count it uh by the way it's something unelv congratulations congratulations to ricky white the third who blocked his fourth punt of the season god dang how tall is this kid

he's he's seven nine he's actually he's actually five eleven eleven But his right arm How long is this kid? How long is this tiger? Put it in normal terms. I think he bought three tigers long. Them pilly tigers are you got. Not that man will cassia's bootleg tigers.

Is he long or is he Huey long? Covering along, do you think tigers are snakes? No, they loyal, unlike these motherfuckers. They boast right. Snakes are loyal. Govada long, measure this bayou boa. I like that Huey Long would have developed thoughts on poisonous tigers versus non-poisonous tigers. Well, what else is he going to do with his time?

Orange or black, friendly, Jack. I'm telling you, every tiger's, every tiger's poisonous if he a friend of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. I ain't going to let some Yankee tell us how to run the shit down here. That's my job. It's literally what's happening with the football team. You go fetch me my chef a robe A hamburger Governor Long

Why is the Sergeant General Louisiana veterinarian? Because we are animals Damn Makes you think That might be the show I think that is the show I would like to thank our

our sponsor this was all brought to you by the great state of Louisiana and prize picks hey of all the entities that we're talking about right now between you you've put you got a hat day signing day ceremony you've got us the state of Louisiana and a daily fantasy sports concern which one of them is getting into financial trouble by hiring an unwanted tiger for a televised event. That's a true question. We're hiring a tiger for an audio-only event. No, we're getting a union tiger.

We're getting a real tiger. Yeah. This poor tiger. This tiger didn't do anything. Happy tiger. This tiger didn't do anything wrong. We are not the least legitimate concern among the institutions named here. That's true.

That's all I'm saying. That's true. That's a really good point. Huey's just going to write you a new song. That's what he's going to do. Bootleg Tiger. Send that Tiger back. Bootleg Tiger.

I like that. Keep going. All right, y'all. Thank you for listening. It's never real in Tiger Stadium. Thank you.