Shutdown Fullcast - FULLCAST AFTER DARK - SEVEN THE IOWA WAY

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

The Fullcast crew discuss all the action from Week One including: --Florida winning a game! On purpose! --Ohio State beating Notre Dame by running the ball even though Ryan Day hates that--Iowa scoring three times and finishing a win with seven points --Which mascots are in committed relationships  --App State scoring forty points in a quarter and losing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A perfect marriage of technology and content. Forecast after dark on Twitter. We just finished explaining to our gator son, Richard Johnson, that we're not stupid. The internet is stupid. I'm stupid. It is. I am stupid. I will accept not that stupid.

We're not as stupid as this. We're way over a thousand. We can go ahead and light this candle. All right. Start yelling. The candle is not firmly in your ass. Start yelling. Fullcast after dark for men

Whoa Did he just blow out? So I think what happened is Spencer yelled so goddamn loud that neither Zoom nor the Twitter space picked him up at all. But I did because he's in the room, like 20 feet away from me. It's so nice to have this not happen to me. Is there like ultraviolet but for sound? Like, is there a sound that is not in the visible spectrum of hearing or whatever?

You know when the National Weather Service ran out of hurricane colors and they had to like change to neon pink after dark red? This is that. Hey, sound off with emojis if y'all can hear us just to make sure. no go ahead in the comments go ahead we're actually asking you to comment sound off in the comments for way too long and now that's finally going to come home to roost can you but did you all hear me hey i see emojis all right let's go all right aden wants to know will this still be a podcast caden it is so sweet that you think we know that there's a good chance there's a perhaps we will we will type it perhaps it will be a podcast we will send it to you uh like an old copy of ranger rick which we have done before you children that's true i did do that once yeah to know that macbrown handshake.com is still available.

Thank you, John Colluter. Yeah, this is a full cast after dark. This is the live. Meow. The last shutdown forecast. Week one, the 2022 college football season. And yes, there was a week zero. But we waited until we had red meat.

And by red meat. That's definitely what it was. Scott Satterfield's ass. We waited because we were ready, but we chose not to do it. Yeah, definitely. The readiness was super high. That's what we were doing. We were waiting on Ohio State.

That's what I mean by red meat. Scarlet meat. Mmm, delicious scarlet meat. The books. That is what they eat. That is what Ohio State fans eat. It is true. I haven't had a good, I haven't had a good crap since the trestle era.

That's how. a good Ohio State fan I am. Listen, a clogged GI tract is just easy traveling, as far as I'm concerned. Speaking of clogged, GI tracks, and travel, we got to start off week one in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. That's right. I want to go ahead and say a couple of things about Pittsburgh because we were there for the backyard for all. First of all, Pitt, delightful game day environment, outstanding student section. just a good live way to start the season

even if Pitt is determined to drag Pitt football back to the 1980s Don't put that on Pitt It's on Pat Narduzzi It's on Pat Narduzzi They pay him money though Pat Narduzzi Saw the passing game working and said

I will not I don't want that anymore I do not like it Yeah the first play of Pitt's game post the dreaded points scoring era, man, that was destined to be a run. That one was scripted by the dues himself. This actually happened. They had Kenny Pickett, Heisman winner, and Pitt Savior of the 21st century. Greatest stellar of all time. They had him unveil the ACC champions banner off of the walkway, right? Like they put it off the side of the breezeway.

everyone clapped and then Pitt came out in what I formation twins baby and they ran power it was Narduzi being like enough of that shit he didn't do shit he was me I'm the dad here I'm the dad here I'm the dad here I just want you guys to know if if Alex was here how much Alex would be flipping his shit right now oh we got plenty of that at pit about which part Richard the the the the dews I would say the audio infrastructure to try to get this off the, off the ground. Oh, that. Well, we're good.

Yeah. Yeah, Richard's our witness now. This setup is not our fault. Shout out to Pittsburgh, land of fried taters. We had, I can't even, I lost count of how many fried potato meals. We met, like, almost the entire pit internet at various tailgates and so forth. Wonderful time. Wonderful crowd.

Wonderful game. Proud of our collective alma mater. kicking off week one and that nothing happened Friday so Saturday hey it's still Saturday it's been a great

we got three gators on the on the call uh huh did something happen how y'all feel it I want to hear you'll hear it hey man you fucking poor mouters Utah Florida

circled it as the game of the week if Utah'd one we talk Utah Florida one let's talk Florida God damn right let's talk Florida I will say as far as poor mouthing all offseason goes I actually like, I am not the one in the contingent that usually poor mouths Florida, to be fair. But I did come into, I did come into this week, not thinking that they were going to win that game.

And short of two pretty insane fourth down stops, they were, goal line stops, they wouldn't have. Also, like, I think there should be some distinction between the way in which we usually poor mouth Florida and the fact that we were talking about a Utah team that nearly won the Rose Bowl. and it's very good and very well, like, it had as much to do with Utah as a really impressive team as Florida's new. Jason, Commissioner, a word, point of contention here. Does talking about the, does host gaming their pregame, poor-mouthing of Florida constitute talking about the Gators? I think it's a free space right now, I think. Okay, okay. Ryan, you're eating into your time, as all I'm saying.

I actually I would like to yield all of my time to Spencer and Richard because I don't I was fully prepared for Florida to lose that game and to be fine with it because they looked they looked pretty good for most of it and it wasn't it was I am delighted that they won it's super fucking fun that they won but it was not really going to eat me up if if Utah had scored a touchdown at the end there because it's like damn Florida in game one of a new regime hung with a very very good Utah team I'm fine with that. Oh, we're up to 195 listeners. Notre Dame's favorite year. It would have eaten me because Ventrell Miller dropped that intersection. Yes, that part sucked. Yeah. But, you know, it wasn't like he wasn't going to throw another interception for another Florida defender to intercept, because that's totally what Camerizing did.

Camerizing should never, ever run a called pass play. He should just run that way or run that way, and then he should just wing some shit, because that's when he's when he, He's scariest. I'm like, oh, that guy has a mullet. He's from the high Sierra. He's wild. He's just a winging it and a wallet. And no, don't call, don't run a call play. Don't run a call play by Andy Ludwig. Don't do that, okay? Make something up. This is my favorite thing. My favorite thing is when the play doesn't matter. This happened on two occasions, okay, both in the reverse and in the converse, okay? What you had was this. Oregon actually ran the play that the OC called. That was bad.

Florida on a two-point conversion, just had Anthony Richardson out there just doing stuff. Just doing stuff. Just spin. Anthony Richardson, I think I kind of get why Anthony Richardson didn't start earlier than he did last year because he must have infuriated Dan Mullen. Oh my God.

Because look, God, like I think everybody who listens to me on SplitZone knows what I think about Dan Mullen. the schemer, the play caller, the offensive architect. The chess master. It has got to just have drove him insane. For Anthony Richardson to take these perfect plays as he draws them up and just do whatever it is that he did, for instance, on the two-point conversion, when he pump faked a jump pass

and then pirouetted and boot it out the other way to get it in the end up. Drew it up that way. And then later in the game ran back the jump. the jump fake, at least once or twice more, the pump fake. Okay, I will say I do have one regret about Florida winning, and that is that, I think it would have been truly funny if Utah had won on the foot of a 30-year-old British man in Central Florida, which is like every Brit's dream

is to go to Central Florida and become famous for one night. I've done it, lad. I've done it. I'm now Duke of Orlando. I think for the first time in probably two years, I want to say, Florida's got that dog in them. It's been a while. Utah always has that dog in. Even when Utah's terrible, they got that dog in them. But Florida is often the opposite.

But this is a good-ass game, man. Both teams fought hard. I know, like, you can actually say sincerely, both teams play hard. Yeah. Both teams play hard. I will also say that it is amazing to look over at the sidelines at Florida and see a coach who I'm like, he seems chill. like you look over and I was like it's fourth and three what are they doing

they're running the clock down this is madness you look over and Billy Napier's like hey man you want a beer like he just seems so like hey no it's cool we got it fine hey and if you're Dan Mullen looking at this way at least he didn't have to talk about this on television I also like that Kyle Whittingham at this point looks like he is has been touring with a country music group for 30 years straight Like, has it been home?

Like, has it been home? He just realized tonight, I've never seen him sweat. He's on that Tom, I've never seen him with a freckle. He's on that Tom Coughlin workout plan. I mean, the workout that Tom Coughlin gives to himself, not to his players. It's a, it's a fucking crime that Utah's not going to the Big Ten. It really is.

They are, they are spiritually and footballally, the most Big Ten program that the pack 12 has to offer and they're just going to get fucking passed over because they're not in california literally passed over yeah big 10 literally flew over this big 10 ass program to go get ucela it ain't right the other thing i really enjoyed about utah in this game utah talks a ton of shit like every time you saw a florida player getting up at a utah players face like two other Utah players would come and start talking shit Utah started talking shit it was great I did not expect that and I was not prepared for that and I was like oh this team is good I like this team this team that will go to Gainesville just be like fuck you

your house is stupid and I hope you burn it down yeah these guys are going to beat their shit out of everything else in the pack 12 who knows to them for also basically doing away with the well they won't be able to deal with the humanity yet no they were fine they were fine they had a problem except for that guy who threw up in like the first quarter get it out of the way it's good for you it was honestly unclear if he was throwing up or it was like trying to summon fire it was a little confusing it was definitely gatorade which makes me think he just loaded up too much on the pregame gatorade yes yes oh yeah it was right yes too much too much of the blood of my enemies and by the way that's when you do it first quarter right first quarter they had a couple of cramping issues otherwise like shouts out to the hydration crew y'all are amazing good job Utah do you have do you have any more yelling about Florida you want to do only this that it was amazing not to see a coach on the sidelines who was like ah my masterpiece

like this not like that like like shit's going wrong and he's uh and your new coach is sort of like okay we'll we'll a adapt to this new information. Ah, it's a new step. Put down my Jones back in. This is like some sort of confusing rolled doll villain. You've turned Dan Mullen into. Yeah, I didn't listen this long to have to hear

Lou Holtz's voice ever again. Cut that shit out. I was picturing a Connecticut vampire. That's what I think I'm getting here. Vampire, but yeah, close enough. We're there. Yukon. One in one, baby. One at one. Five hundred.

Think about that, by the way. What character in contemporary history has become a vampire and gone, I think I'm going to stay around New Haven. I think I'm just going to go around stores. This is where I'm at. I have eternity. I'm going to spend it in Connecticut.

No vampire has ever done that. And if Randy Edsel had been given the opportunity to stay, he would have. Hey, Ryan, speaking of playoff teams and naturally of Randy Edsel, can we get an update on our playoff picks? Oh, God. All right.

Let's see. Go do math. Let's pull those up real quick. Off of memory, I can tell you that Wyoming won in some version of overtime, so they're one of my playoff picks, and they had started the season 0-1, so that was a problem. Vanderbilt, which Holly and I both have, 2-0, baby. That's right. Nebraska, which Jason and I both have, one-in-one, baby. Got the dub.

I have liberty. I don't like it, but they're 1-0. Spencer, your Cal pick is looking good. your Eastern Carolina pick, man. Oh, so close. Hey, we are, the Twitter space is well over 2000, by the way. Just, just the audacity of

the audacity of NC State to beat another team by watching them do the most NC State shit possible. Fucking rude. I think it's a display of our power to show that this is how closely, this is how far we can elevate your team. It's not far enough to overcome, like, NC State having weird magic,

but look at the platform we can put you on. Spencer, you've gotten Notre Dame. They dropped to O and one. Yep. Yeah. Holly is still sitting best right now. Holly has Utah State, which is one and one, unfortunately, didn't really do much against Bama tonight. But Holly has Kansas State, a very fun looking team in week one. Holly has Tennessee, also a very fun looking team in week one. I don't want to talk about it. And Vanderbilt. You know, I do. A lot of points, a lot of points for that offense against Ball State. Monday is on the They'll talk about Tennessee there too.

No, I'm directing them. I'm directing them that way. We're talking about our alma maters tonight. Tennessee scored a lot of points. Tennessee looked great. Yeah, no, they look fantastic. Like, they look loose. Handed Hooker looks awesome.

They're fun. They have a player named Squirrel. I just want to point out that Pitt, if we have one complaint, the stadium ran out of beer in like the third quarter. and that was with West Virginia in town. Not only is Tennessee coming to town next week after a Steelers game,

but they've named this game after Johnny Majors, a world-class drunk. Ireland didn't run out of beer, and they were giving it away free the whole game. Isn't that because their internet went down? Yes. Week one is hard for everybody. That's what I'm saying. Is Pitt Ireland? Is Pitt just Ireland minus the English?

There's a ton of potatoes. Burning? Is Pitt like Italian Ireland? Wow. I would have to test it by seeing how an Irish press box reacted to a pile of hot dogs that were free because I have never seen a press corps go so ravenously and fervently after a pile of hot dogs as the Pitt local press crew. I mean, like the passion for two meats in Pittsburgh is real because they were absolutely tearing them up. I know we've got a lot of musicians out there. Please set us two meats to the tune of green sleeves. Thank you very much.

All right. been too long in this show without us talking about Iowa scoring seven points. Yes. In the most beautiful fucking way possible. Can I be the, can I play dumb? Can I play dumb here? Hey, Ryan, was that a touchdown? No, this is, this is Jason's. This is Jason's place. Sorry, no, see the pulpit. So I, uh, I, I seem to have coined a term, uh, Iowa touchdown, which, uh, I just

typed that out right after they scored, uh, they, they started the game with a field goal. That was all they had for a long time. Then they added a safety, and many assumed they'd park the bus at five points. No, they added a second safety to create the Iowa touchdown, which takes three scores to get seven points. This game was, I watched it. This was the game I watched. This was the first game I watched over the day.

It was going on at the same time as UNC and App State playing basketball. And, you know, you always have that moment where it's like, wow, these teams are playing the same sport. Iowa Iowa scoring seven points and needing all day to do it. And UNC just shitting and farting up points on offense and defense. It's the same

sport. Iowa's punter was just fucking lights out. Torrey Taylor, basically the entire game was South Dakota State punts the ball to midfield and Iowa punts it back to inside South Dakota State's 10 and nothing happens after that. Iowa, seven puns inside the 20.

DSU started at the 18. They started at the 18, the 12, the 8, the 6, the 4, the 2, and the 1. Both of his touchbacks hit the ground inside the 5. Could have been downed inside the 5. It was ridiculous. Toward the end of the game, the cameras showed a guy in a mustache and a Hayden Fry sweater holding up a shirt that says, I root for the punter. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what else you got? There was a, so I'm currently on a Wikipedia page that says records for safeties in football because I was trying to see how often a multi-safety by the same team goes. There is a subsection entitled Notable Safeties.

One of, and there's a bunch of different drop downs. There is the 1929 Rose Bowl, which I guess had some crazy safeties. There is intentional safety leads to win. There is Dan Orlovski blunder. If you'll remember, dear reader, that is when Dan Rolofsky dropped back out of the back of the end zone. There is completed pass for safety and overtime walkoff safety. So if anybody wants to peruse that, the Iowa, South Dakota State, Saturday, September 3rd, 2020 game is not yet on that list, but I'm sure it needs to be at it. Barely soon.

Let me drop a pair of numbers, all right, and see if you can guess what they are. The numbers are 42 and 42. Passing yards. That's a good guess. Passing yards for Iowa. Those numbers are the minutes and the seconds until either of these teams surpassed 100 yards of offense. Hell yes. It did not happen until late in the third quarter.

Iowa then immediately on the next play gave up a sack for a loss of 12 going back to 94 yards. It was not until 44 and a half minutes had passed until either team stayed beyond 100 total yards on the day. That drive in which Iowa finally passed 100 yards for good, ended with a fumble. This game was awesome. If you're Kirk Farrants, is your failure as a father solidified by the fact that he chanted

to fire your son halfway through this game? Yeah, but don't chant at him because he doesn't report to him, remember? He reports to the athletic director. Of course, of course. Right? Because, you know, we follow an epitimate of the problem. Who's the athletic director? That's a close friend of Kirk Farrants, Gary Barta.

Oh, shit. Barta Ferrence. So I did a little historical digging on this game. There are more games where the winning team scores exactly seven points in college football history than you might have guessed. I stopped looking at 1981 because there are just too many. But between 2021 and 1981, there are 60 games where the winning team scores seven points. And I found this out on sports reference. And then I went digging and I was like, okay, has anybody else won a game with seven?

points and done it without scoring a touchdown and the answer is no the answer is no it's all such stuff like sometimes it's we got one pick six or we got like one you know punt return or something but i i firmly believe reserving the possibility that if you go way back into like pre-war history you can find some version of this i think iowa is the first team in college football history to win a game 7-0 and not score a touchdown. And I don't think anyone will ever do it again. Yeah. And the crazy thing is you combine that stat,

which is already one of the most Iowa stats possible with this from Matt Benson on Twitter. Since 2020, most wins when punting eight plus times in a game among FBS teams. Eight teams are tied with two. Iowa has six. So this is the thing. This is the most Iowa game of all time. What a treat. There are times where I'm like, you know, in the course of what we do, sometimes we have a tendency to flatten programs to a caricature or like a sort of like a rote type that we sort of go to.

And it doesn't really appreciate the nuances of how programs can be different year to year and how, you know, Michigan State isn't always like, I hope it rains hammers so that I can punch her down the solar plexus. but Iowa is the exception Iowa is the exception to this rule like I really don't think there is anything we could say about Iowa that a isn't true that they don't back up and be that Kirk Ferrens isn't proud stats of war on Twitter basically put it the best I've seen anyone put it which is like Kirk Ferrence doesn't care Kirk Ferrence doesn't look at this no we got to have we got to figure some shit out we go he's please he's please he's content it is actuarial football It is football based on, like, how can I, how can I build a house the cheapest possible and not get sued? That's what it is.

It's the difference between do you want to play winning football or do you want to win? Daniel, he's Daniel. He's the latter. You're just winning. He's Daniel punt view. Like, he's going to drag everyone down into hell, beat them to death with bowling pins, and then declare himself victorious and finished. I think it's dragged them to hell and just wait until they melt from. It is playing somebody in a fighting game who's just like, I'm going to hold block until you get tired and play.

It's fighting E. Honda. Not moving his feet, standing there. If you walk into him, that's your fault. My favorite shot in this game, which I think it's an omen. Let's call it an omen. All right. Two minutes remaining, Iowa gets the first down that just about puts the game away. The crowd pan reveals a fan celebrating by holding up a tin of nicotine patches.

The flavor of these nicotine. Patches was Citrus, Iowa to the Citrus Bowl. I've seen it. Yep. Yep. Yep. Where they will play either Kentucky or Florida. That's it. I would like to point out that Iowa does play Ohio State this year. Ohio State, a team that tonight kept Notre Dame in the game by refusing to run the ball, just refusing outright. Provided entertainment for all who are watching is what I would call it. Until the end, when they literally mashed the run play, but like with the ask horse, so button on NCAA football, they just hit the run button 10 times out of 14 plays on that last

drive to ice the game. Yeah, a victory for the worst and most cantankerous people in the Ohio state fan base who were like, just run the ball. Yeah, like that was what finally worked and puts them away. And they refused to do it until they absolutely had to. It had to kill a good 30 to 40% of the people sitting in that stadium that Ohio State refused to do that, particularly when, and when do we get to say this, but 2022, Ohio State defense looked pretty good. They looked like they knew what they were doing. Their middle linebackers were in the correct place, right? They look like they knew how to play coverage. They were really good tonight. And yeah, I get that. But by the way, if you want to keep your defense off the field

and you want to play that kind of ball, you might want to go ahead and ask, yeah, do you run the ball? I don't get it. They have Trayvion Henderson back there, and they just refused to run the ball over. and over and over again. It is baffling. They're doing it to make bret beelham a mad. They know Brett Bielm is watching and they know he's very mad. I saw very little of this game because at no point did it ever really feel like Ohio State was in danger. Like, you know, if that had happened, I would have, I would have certainly tuned in. I was mainly getting entertainment from Ohio State fans having a damn meltdown about trailing three, three that many points against the top five team and then winning by multiple touchdowns um Ryan as the internet's most um sensible and

reasonable and mature Ohio State fan uh how were you feeling during those cataclysmic times of trailing by a field goal great um all all time we have on this earth is a gift whether ohio state is winning or losing there are no such things as bad wins you know especially over such a storied program as Notre Dame you know just an honor to share the field with them 100% yeah just just good vibes all around no problems no worries go bucks that's great this this all sounds like these words sound impossible when when put together like that so that's that's really great acting well well when i do this on twitter i get people saying like thank you for doing this i had a friend texting me that ryan day is just john cooper with a beard it's true when is he beaten michigan huh i'll wait

I'll hang up and listen. Points made. Go bucks. Speaking of amazing coaches, Holly, how many souls does Mac Brown carry within his body at this point?

UNC tweeted after the game that they were taking that dub back to Chapel Hill, and that dub stands for the whole man's entire horrocks. My God, that was a lengthy grasp. Get back here.

come on I'm like the scorpion of hospitality get over here I think that's why he was wearing that weird ass crue neck sweatshirt that looks so weird on him and was unseasonably warm it's because he's got like

Ghostbusters containment units strapped on to his chest the EPA hates this man doctors hate him but not for any of the usual reasons because he's left a trail of victims in his wake

huh I've never seen a team, by the way, get the chance to go for two at the end of the game like in the last two minutes and miss both of them. Like, I've never seen them. I've never seen them miss because they had a dude get too open. The first one I wasn't even mad about,

the second one I'm mad about. That was brutal. That was just brutal. App State did the bravery, gumption thing. They went for two to try to win it. And then they went for the onside kick. UNC had a little bit too much fun and ran it back for a touchdown that they didn't need,

which then allowed App to drive down the field and go for two again and nearly get that one. This game was brutal. It was amazing. It might have been the best game of the year, but brutal. I don't believe, I do not believe in the scored too early thing. I don't think it's real. Yeah, I agree.

But. But. That specific, that specific touchdown, I see the argument. This specific team. North Carolina this year because they're just going to do this every fucking week. I mean, like, FAMU, God love them with like six and a half offensive Lyman last week. Push them in the first half of that game. Like North Carolina is going to do this every single week.

It's unbelievable. Well, that was the confusing thing about this is usually when you see a score like 63.61, it's because like both teams were kind of going back and forth the whole time. App State jumped out to like a 21-7 lead and then didn't score for a long, long, long, long, fucking time and scored 40 points in the fourth quarter. This is where I remind you, Gene Chiswick, unretired for this. Gene Chisick, unretired.

Me and Spencer should be eating lunch with Gene on Monday. He's a nice guy. I enjoy hanging out with him. Had a good life. We specifically cited him over and over again as a man who had figured life out, won the title and got bounced from his job and just walked with a bucket

of money and you could be at a barbecue right now. And now he's going to spend Labor Day breaking down tape to figure out how the fuck his defense gave up 40 points in the fourth quarter. The devil. To a team, to the last

team you should have ever scheduled. Don't schedule this team in your own state. You fucking morons. They took the worst road trip with the shortest trip they could take of any team, right? They did. NC State, too. NC State saw South Carolina do that in Greenville last year and still took the trip.

But here's the thing. I think NC State's secretly a little kinky, and they're like, we love the pain. I think anytime you have two mascots who are clearly partners, then you're into a lot of stuff. Wait, wait, Jason, which other mascots are partners? Arizona has mascot partners, right? Auburn, Auburn's Tiger. Oh, sorry, I thought you meant like house divided mascots from different schools. Oh, there are many, there are many debates and opinions on.

Auburn's Tiger and Eagle are in a Lady Hawk situation. There are many who ship various mascots from rival schools. Enemies become lovers. Right, that's what I was going to say, which is the Ohio Bobcat and Brutus the Buckeye being in a whiplash situation. Yeah. I'm in Alberta, Albert and Alberta, I'm totally going to at one point slap a pineapple on the back of both of them at a game, just because I'm pretty sure that's how they roll. Yes, yes. Even if it's not, it will be now.

Yeah, the devil appeared to Gene Chisick before that fourth quarter and said, I need you to hold them to 40 points to win. This is my prophecy. And it was like, 40. Yeah, we could do that. And afterwards, he's like, 40. Oh, God. I hope Gene Chisick's family is texting him like, told you. Told you should have just stayed home.

To allow 160 points if you maintain that. Well, Gene, now the garage is not cleaned out and your defense sucks. Hey, hey, quote fingers in the air, coach. We had, you know, pizza and cake on Saturday. What did you get up to? Is it colder to say quote fingers, coach or, Quote fingers, dad. My so-called father, who allowed 40 points in like 11 minutes against a team he never should

have played. Speaking of ACC teams who continue to schedule teams within their own state that they should not, one notable weeknight thing is Virginia Tech now on an 0-2 streak against a low-tier non-power that they are stuck playing for the next decade. You dummies! who's scheduled home and home and home and home and home and home and home and home and home and home what the hell is wrong with you richard can attest this do you know how many ops staff listened to this show

on the slide we're trying to help you i hope i hope there was some sort of copy paste error in the contract that nobody caught until it was signed they were like oh no oh no alice's going to pull some bullshit on wednesday or godfrey's going to pull some bullshit where they tell me it's it you know it's a year zero for virginia Tech, you know, whatever. It was. It was until late Friday. It's year two now, Brett.

Sorry. The Virginia Polytechnic Institute is not ever supposed to lose to Old Dominion. I don't give a shit. And yet they keep doing it. Can anybody, by the way, can anybody answer this question? Because I meant to ask this of split zone duo in the preseason, it was my understanding like way before this year, God, who's not listing? Who am I kidding?

that Virginia and Virginia Tech were resistant for a really long time to even playing ODIU, let it go and going on the road. What happened there? I thought that both of those schools, Richard, tell me if I'm remembering wrong, I thought that both of those schools

heartily opposed ODIU even leveling up. All I know is that my co-hosts have a blind spot for that program and Michael Vick ain't walking through that door. Marcus Vick isn't walking. Dave Vick is not coming through. Crown Vick is not coming through. Crown vink is not coming through that door. The only thing they need is vapor rub.

The only thing I can think is that there is some legislator who has a big road project in Blackburg, right? And it was just like, I will hold this shit up if you don't play ODIU. I hope it's somehow West Virginia's governor is just pulling all the strings of the region. Just fucking up on the ugly rubber bird strikes again. The governor is that little blue bulldog in O'DU's logo. Has Old Dominion tweeted yet?

Because Old Dominion hadn't tweeted since halftime, I believe, of the game yesterday. And they didn't tweet a final score graphic. They didn't tweet a wee beat them. They didn't have anything on there after the game. I hope they were drunk. It looks like they finally logged back in. ODIU lost their phone after the game. Good.

Good. At a bar. Staying within the ACC, I'd like to inform you about an amazing. amazing feat in the Rutgers Boston College game. Okay, hang on. Okay. Rutgers, at one point in this game, had first and goal from the Boston College 10. And by fourth down, they were at the Boston College 43 and punting the ball away.

This is how it happened. On first and goal from the 10, they ran for two yards. It gets worse. On second and goal from the eight, they got called for offensive pass interference. That gave us second a goal from the 23, and they got called for holding. That gave us second a goal from the third. 33. That gave us an incomplete. On third and goal from the 33, there was a false start. On third and goal from the 38, they got sacked for a loss of five yards, but it could have been

worse because there was declined holding penalty. And that's how we got to fourth and goal from the 43. And fortunately, Rutgers did have the punt downed at the three. So it was kind of like they just went for it from close failed. Ruckers still won this game, though, in part. because they completed a 12-play, 96-yard game-winning drive in the fourth quarter without completing a single pass. Boston College. You should feel bad. You should feel bad.

You should feel bad. Even the teams that won. Even the teams that won are like, don't look at me. Yeah. Other than Pitt. Pitt holding down the Fort Pitt. Fort Pitt. Unless, yeah.

Unless. Tits out and we'll be for feet. We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, congrats out for pit. We are contractually obligated to say that Miami looked really fucking good too and it doesn't matter. Against hoopsed. Butthoon cookman. Butthune cookman. Okay.

I'll say it. Yeah, we're good. They looked fine. Yeah, fine. Let's go with fine. I wanted to, of course, as an SEC honk, I wanted to go ahead and talk about the hog. Arkansas, Cincinnati? Yeah, I wanted to go ahead and talk about one.

that when you beat Cincinnati making Skyline chili jokes is hack. However, it's very satisfying and you should continue to make them, particularly if you beat Cincinnati and then you immediately tweet out a video of Kevin from the office, spilling chili with Cincinnati. That's hack on top of hack, and I really appreciate everything that they did. So thank you, Arkansas. That's a very much we're appealing to moms on Facebook. That's our core demographic.

I think the double cringe cancels out. Yeah, I think if you go double cringe, you're anti-cringe, right? I would like to shout out the University of Oregon, who in their last four regular season games, three of whom have come against teams

with a fucking pulse, they have been beaten 125 to 20. So here's the funny thing. I was thinking about this today. For years, the party line on the decline of the Pact 12 nationally has been like, well, USC just isn't, you know, if only USC would pull its weight as it's supposed to. If only USC would get back to national power. And the nice thing for Oregon about this line of argument is that it completely fucking ignores

all the embarrassing shit that Oregon has done for the last four years whenever they get on the big stage. Yeah, it's all USC's fault. And that's going away. They don't have that anymore. But fortunately, no one will ever look at the Pact 12 again once U.S.C. has got – Oregon's got it made. I love that the – speaking of, like, the traditional knock – the traditional knock against Oregon for years and years was they play fast, flashy, you know, they're not tough up front. It was a dumb trope. It wasn't true. No, it's true now. But for the last three games, it's hella true.

Utah, Utah and Georgia, granted, you're going to look weak, but damn. Richard, you were at this game, yeah? Yeah, I left after the third quarter. Okay. That's, that's really interesting. Hold on. Hold on real quick, because I am not, I am not the only national college football writer that left.

And I left later than this person who remained nameless. So, so that means Richard. Richard Johnson calls out Brett and Luke Murphy on full cast after dark. You were not there to see Oregon get its first third down stop. the game, which didn't happen until, like, 1040 with 1040 in the fourth quarter. Like, this was, oh my God. Oregon does have a, like, back in 2016, they lost to Washington by 49. They lost this game by 46.

Other than that Washington game, to find a loss this bad, you have to go back to 1985. Like, do you know, I don't think people remember exactly what 19. 80s Oregon was where it was constantly like Oregon beats Oregon State

3 to F yeah that was a full decade before anyone noticed Oregon football existed like like the fact

that we are even starting to draw comparisons to 80s Oregon is a bad bad fucking sign and I will say Phil Knight Phil Knight was here

today Phil Knight was at the game for how long did he stay did he stay longer than you that's a great question yeah

one and eight by the way against the SEC in their last nine, Pact 12 SEC, just as my role is SACC honk, I feel like I should mention that. The last team in that sequence, the one is Texas A&M. Yeah, this is the shit where like Paxville fans are like, well, you have to respect us. We care. Okay.

Okay. Okay. All right. So let me put you all on the spot. If this game can only mean one of two things, what does it mean? Does it mean Georgia is just as fucking good as they were and all the fretting and worrying about who they lost in the draft was way overdone or does it mean that Oregon is fucking cooked if you have to pick one which one does it mean those are the only takes yes like obviously

both could be true but i'm taking Oregon's cook because that's a bit and didn't have to throw the ball beyond five yards past the line of fucking scrimmage and he put up he put up like one of the greatest passing lines in georgia history he threw for 368 yards 335 of them were yeah Man, you know who's feeling really good about having Stetson Bennett as a Heisman finalist at plus 1,500? Cash it now. I will, a sneak preview of the Split Zone duo to come. There is going to be a public posture from one of the co-hosts of Split Zone duo that is going to float into the zeitgeist, a possible Stetson-Bennett-Hiseman campaign. Not saying that I necessarily believe it, but saying that the rags to riches, like, storyline and narrative,

will be with it because everybody knows that Heisman voters It's funny because it looks like When they used to show like Jim Tom Sulla's jobs When they show like Sets and Bennett's last seven years We did it today We did it during the game We made A.J. McCarron a Heisman finalist

As a Lifetime Achievement Award Imagine that for this dude Colin Klein was a Heisman finalist Here's what I love Colin Klein was an angel God damn it Imagine all the great Georgia quarterbacks Of years past

Who played on these teams You played on all these Mark Rick teams that, like, oh, just couldn't win that. Oh, couldn't win the big one. Matt fucking Stafford. Yes, yes. Think of all of those quarterbacks who now have to watch this short team. And be like, are you fucking kidding me? They fixed it for him.

They fixed it for Stetson fucking betting. This guy gets to lateral for 400 yards a game. Listen, I have you and I, you know who's had a really tough day today, probably, and we'll think this is really funny, Eric Crouch. Listen, Kirby Smart saw Stetson Bennett house an entire beer bong outside of the frat house one night. And he's like, I'm going to change it all. I'm going to change it all for that man. All right. Two first names.

How's a beer bong? Loves hunting and golf. We have to do it, boys. We have to change the way we do everything for that man. Only a man that Georgia could motivate the entire Georgia football program to alter everything to create an effective. quarterback in offense. This isn't what's going to happen, but it is the funniest timeline. If Stetson Bennett graduates and Georgia just can't get it back after this,

they're just like, fuck, how do we keep losing three games? Fuck. Now, and I assume the thing that goes along with this is he's like a seventh round draft pick and just backup for like two or three years. 100%. Then he's just a golfer and car lot dealer. Come on down, Stets and Bennett, Kia, Blackshear. and Waycross, we got deal.

I would like to go ahead and also mention this, okay? Because for some reason, we spent like 20 minutes talking about the ACC, because if we're going to be real, the ACC is the funniest conference. You're just like, why? Why are you? Why are any of you trying to do football things? But I would like to mention this for a couple of seconds. I really thought that Michigan was going to mess around with Colorado State

and throw them the ball a bunch and have an interesting half. Let's give the big 10 props. Michigan wiped the floor with their first game. They've started Cade McNamara. Now it will be time to start JJ McCarthy. The first game in the divisive quarterback experiment is over. J.J. McCarthy will start the second against Hawaii, where they will probably also win 51-7.

And do you know what we will have learned from it? Nothing. We'll learn nothing. The second Harbaugh announced that they were doing that, I was like, wow, they don't think anything of those fucking teams. They don't care all about those games. Why does this say preseason on the Michigan website? Guys, this isn't your personal jimbery, but you know what?

No, you know what? Never mind. I absolutely respect this. Like, for him to really actually come out of that, because we could all see Jim continuing to be like really like close to the vest with it and like, why are you asking me about it? Like, we'll play who we play. We'll start who we start. And rotate, rotate guys against comments.

Colorado State, whatever. And it's not like he announced it, like, the morning of the game. Like, he announced it a week ago. Here's a depth chart. Here's a depth chart with everyone who lives in the city, just in case. Yeah. What do you do if you have, like, six quarterbacks you like? Just like half the season is tryouts?

Yeah, you do half the season. Every team on that list is the patient and the hospital that overhears the doctor and the resident going, well, listen, you got to do it for the first. first time. Just crack his chest up. I'm sure it'll be fine. That's fine. Ribs are a lot easier to spread than you think.

He looks frail. You'll cut right through that shit. It'll be fine. Oh, like he's going to live anyway. Yeah. Come on. Goner. I also want to note,

after the most Iowa Hawkeyes game of all time, their next game is indeed El Asco against Iowa State. So it can only get worse from here. Oh, yes. lower not for us not for you the viewer at home let's also do in the big 10 Nebraska strong taking care of business today

in week one the first week of their season yep I know I know I know we're trying to get off the ACC and I promise this will be Are you really Look I find it very alarming That Louisville didn't just lose to Syracuse

But lost badly to Syracuse That seems very bad I actually I think I wrote this but like Louisville is going to be a test of the like coaching hot seat excuse of oh we got a great recruiting class coming in like that it's going to be the test of this year in the like portal era where like they very well could all just fuck off and leave like we are really going to find out how much that holds this year I guess because I thought they were going to be fine but this is I didn't think they were going to lose 31 fucking seven to Syracuse no yeah

I thought they were good. I thought Louisville's going to be fine this year. Just, just get ahead and be like Dana. Be like Dana Holderson, okay? But why's this coach of all? And just come out and be like, yeah, we're not going to try this year. We're not going to be real good.

It's like, this is a victory for Wiley Coyote. He also confirmed on Twitter that, yes, it was going to be a bad night to be a red bull in vodka around him. That's the head coach. When is it a good night? Yeah. When he's passed out? after 25 everything's off the record you can just turn off the tape recorder here after 25

the last time we talked about him on this show was the about the story of him rolling up to throughout the first pitch at a baseball game and arriving like as the first pitch needed to be thrown like arriving to the stadium at that moment and that's basically the the football game they played today yeah only only got what they needed right when they needed it's a system the system works listen they won and then he was like yeah I'm going to have a drink. He's one of two coaches today, by the way, who was like, yeah, I'm going to absolutely have a drink.

Sam Pittman did it a little more gently. He's like, well, I do like cold beer. I'm like, that's a cold beer. That is making the show Monday night, by the way, just in case. Don't we're 100% using that, right? Oh, yeah, I do like a cold beer. It was like, I like a cold beer and I'll probably have one. I don't endorse it, but I'll probably have one.

I'm like, brother, I think you just endorsed it. Sam Pittman, record a country album. Buddy, your pastor's in the stadium. This ain't Georgia. This is Arkansas. The pastor's going to be like, you should have a couple. You're in Arkansas. My favorite thing about watching an Arkansas game is when they show the stands.

And you see like the one out of every 30 people who decided to dress fancy. And it's just like, what are you doing? You're at an Arkansas game. Don't put a dress on. You look ridiculous. Is this an old mess? Stop it. Where are your overalls?

I'm just saying they literally put lipstick on pigs. Good. I'm talking about the mascot. I'm talking about the mascot. Everyone in Arkansas is lovely, including your football team. Do not docks my mother. And picks are lovely. That's absolutely true.

They're very clean and intelligent animals. I will say there was one portion in that game where Cincinnati got the ball, like, knocking on the doorstep after an Arkansas turnover. And it got fucking, like, it was really, fucking loud. It was really, really fucking loud. And it was fun to see Arkansas fans, like, immediately just sort of like, shunct. out Cincinnati into a field goal attempt rather than a touchdown that probably could have swung this game. It was kind of a bummer to see Cincinnati lose, but also Arkansas rules. So it goes. Yeah, sorry. Watching KJ. Jefferson in the run game is the joy forever. I will not

apologize for that. I enjoy my large refrigerator-shaped sun barreling downfield at four miles an hour. I just realized the troops losing to Delaware is a rise of dark Brandon situation He's conquering the military now He's weakening them so that he can maintain power That's what he's establishing naval superiority I think they fumbled on their very first play Navy Oh good

Like the very first play of the season they fumbled If I'm not mistaken I could be mistaken in a truly baffling passing line, Navy's quarterback, Navy's quarterback went five of 13. That's too many. Like, can you, if Navy's throwing, and it's not like this game was like, oh, Delaware was up 35 points early, this was, they won by a touchdown. What the fuck are you doing throwing the ball 13 times, Navy? That's way too many.

I feel like Patrick Ewing, did you practice that? There was, I feel like, I don't think we've. Like both service academies, sorry Air Force, both services are fake. Planes are fake. The sky is fake. Come back when you get rid of that F-35 bullshit. Oh, see, and reach reach out of 38 Godfrey on Twitter. Listen, listen, if Top Gun is all Navy, it proves the Air Force doesn't fucking exist, all right? Yeah, damn. Damn, you got your chains and hatch by the boat movie. both service academies have been pretty competent for the last 15, 20, like, we haven't had,

which is highly unusual. That's what I mean. Like, we have not had a prolonged stretch of shit service academy, like, of like where Army Navy is like bad. Yes, it's like which team will get its third win. And it won't be Army because they're only of one so far. Yeah. This is the, this is the troop football we grew up on.

Yeah. So, you have to explain that right now, you will. watch both, yes, all three service academies, run a triple option and go, what a well-executed offense. What an amazing use of resources given what you have meeting, grandiose and beautiful strategy. Okay. Growing up, when I watched Service Academy football, it was this. Wow, they're shitty at running the option. They sure do do it a lot, though. You do it a lot. Good at running the option. It's been a while since you've had really, really, really abominable Academy football, right?

Which we're saying this and we laughed about it. Serious challenge is granted. It's hard. It's real hard to do all that and play football on top of it. But yeah, this is a rarity, Richard. It's weird. I'm pretty sure Holly put this note in the dock, and I genuinely don't know what it means because I haven't clicked on the link.

Yes. Holly, this note says, is NASA bad at going to the moon because they refuse to invite us to a launch? I don't know what that means. Okay, so they scrub the Artemis launch again. Okay. I did see that today. And they have to be aware at this point because we have mentioned it respectfully many times that the only Twitter space we regularly see on God's Green Internet with more listeners than ours is NASA.

We are also regularly involved in passionate discussions regarding the moon and the existence thereof. damn logo is the moon NASA is out here trying to go to the moon and not inviting us to Kennedy Space Center we are 2 and O in the last calendar year when invited to a stadium

and if we're good enough for the likes of the Big Ten including Michigan and Ohio State and all the astronauts produced between the two of those schools and if we're good enough for the Atlantic Coast Conference

and Pitt which is a fine fine technical institution and West Virginia which produces many things astronauts like like clear liquor and preserved meat rocket fuel

if we're good enough for all these institutions listen I can draw the dotted line for you NASA but I can't make you connect them has somebody brought a pepperoni roll to space that's got to be right not intentionally in their pants

I left a pepperoni roll in my car Yeah, or basically tear an ass on a West Virginia road so hard, right, hitting propane tank, ending up in orbit and being like, yo, I'm the first guy to bring a pepperoni bowl in the space before you die. I just Googled astronauts from West Virginia. John McBride, pride of Charleston, West Virginia. Done, done, went to WVU, no less. I did know that. I feel bad about this. So, indeed, pepperoni roll is going in space.

Holly, do you think it's a factor that we attend arch rivalry games? and if so, does that mean the moon needs to be officially declared NASA's arch rival? South Carolina, time to invite the crew to the Georgia game in a couple weeks. To the Texas A&M game. I'm concerned now that they, now that you bring it up, I'm concerned now that they think that we are their arch rivals. Would you rather go to South Carolina, Texas A&M, let's say it's in Columbia or the moon? Okay, if you said college station, I would have said, what's the difference?

so in this case I will take the moon the real one not the one with the dog church where would you rather be stranded the moon or Columbia South Carolina I mean they're both just huge expanses moon kills you quicker and you don't have to smell that weird asphalt smell that sets in as soon as you get near the interstate

yeah you're gonna bake in the sun do you want to be standing on concrete or dust strangely Strom Thurman's bones are in both places Oh, he's everywhere. Buzz Aldrin just rescues me and like, you know, a Honda Civic. You're like, how do you do that? And he's like, willpower, drove it here. It's fine.

Brian, thank you for reminding me of the miscellaneous notes I left at the bottom of the dock because I have a very important question for everyone and I'm going to poll all the... Doug, I'm going to need you to hop on the call to you because I'm going to need five. I'm going to need an odd number to vote up or down. Is that Jennifer Garner's voice on this year? here's Capital One commercials, or did they find a sound alike? And if it is, in fact, an imposter, how do we feel about that? I'm not sure as though my credit card miles are being properly concerned over. I think it is a sound alike. Wow. Because if it was her,

they would use her face, right? I would think so, yes. Okay, this is my train of thought. You think it's a situation where, like, she couldn't make it, or this is like a conscientious abstention? Or... They ran out of money. I think they can't afford her anymore. It's that I think they ran out of money It's a sound alike A credit card company ran out of money What a fucking shame Anyway, I don't trust whoever this new girl is

It's good Just get a new credit card credit card company It's endless money It's close enough to make me doubt That it might have not been Jennifer Garner But nah, you fucked up Give us back the one we trust I'm not gonna tell you what's in my wallet

What the fuck are you asking? Yeah, what are you a cop? I only trusted if Jennifer Garner Asked me what's in my wallet You don't need to see my license I need to speak to my attorney, Jennifer Garner You know what's about to be in Scott Frost's wallet. Sweet, sweet buyout money, baby.

What do you mean? They started 1 in 0 today. He's aging weirdly. Did anybody like see his... Like a plant you don't water. Not only did the Huskers hit 1 and 0 today. They fettie-wopped North Dakota. And the Dakota teams are good.

Okay. So everything's going great, 1-0, and defeated on the year. That's a conspiracy, Ryan. I'm just going to go ahead and say this, all right? What Nebraska is currently in, and what's going to get them through this is a bunker mentality. That's right, okay? Because people in the liberal media, like you, are just pouring poison into the ears of all of those Nebraska players, okay? This sounds like an Archie bunker mentality.

Are you telling you anything you should be winging cans of corn at Scott Frost? Oh, don't do that. Scott Frost, I'm pretty sure Arty thinks Antifa is, like, right outside the door at all time. I'm pretty sure he... If they're Nebraska fans, they should. should be. I mean, look at their schedule. I want to do this. Okay? Just like, watch

the numbers drop. Good night, everybody. We're going to talk about Nebraska's schedule. You can log off. He's not joking. The numbers are plummeting. We just lost like 200 people. I believe we're going to go up. Coming back to Earth, like the Artemis

Rock. No, no. Wait, Nebraska. Great news. We're down to 1995. Spencer, the people have spoken. Things are getting better and better. Here's the thing. You know who's dropping off right now? It's people who like Nebraska football.

They don't want to hear this shit. I don't want to hear this shit. I don't want to be reminded. We have to keep doing this. It's amazing. We said Nebraska and everyone's like out. I did that. Incredible.

As soon as it hits the 1970s, though, they'll be surging back in. It's like you farted in a grocery store aisle. that's a really specific scenario did that happen to you recently man they're not coming back either we're down to 19 all right I think we need to add the show now yeah I think I did it no no no now we're going to tell the Sun Bulls

no let's let's hear about this damn schedule that's so interesting yeah yeah I mean look it's worth it you already lost him so we might as well go ahead I was saying the next game they play is like they have George You dumb asses. And then, and then you play a team you did not have to play. You play Oklahoma. That's not a conference game. You escaped them and then you went back. If Scott Frost gets fired because he lost to Clay Hilton, what kind of fucking buyout in the buyout concentric circle is that? Like, what is that? What even is that?

the hunter has become the What kind of looper bullshit is that? Once are quick, play that corn is a good thing song. I will find it. Yeah, so that's all I'm saying. They play Georgia Southern Oklahoma next. It's not going to get any better. They're like, we turn the corner, and I'm what?

Yeah, I guess what's around the corner? Dark alley. Space. Around the corner, and then you finish with at Michigan, Wisconsin, at Iowa. You're going to score like 7. in those three games now that i was got a taste for it i was going to score seven points without any field goals you're like how shit don't worry that's incredible fucking coming i was so close to

scoring a greek letter they're so close they're just it's just going to be a casey thompson pick six brian fans can't fuck but he can put together a hell of a tesseract did you see the interception he threw today he threw like i mean like the linebacker was the intended receiver like it was that bad. And that's an Iowa Interception. Are we talking about Bo Nix again? Oh, Jesus. Poor Bo! Now the number's going to drop.

I mean, that's going to go up, man. Oh, really. Yeah. That felt like seeing like a daredevil, like a retired daredevil come out for one last joke. Like, oh, God, no. In the ditch. And everyone knew it was going to happen. He flew right into the bus.

Jesus Christ So much class So much shouting It was a Carl Walenda moment Where you're like Yeah maybe you'll make it No

Shield the children's eyes Get this off TV I told Sigfride He should have retired God damn it Todd Blackledge Has a heart of gold Because coming off the field

He said You know Bonix will probably learn From this moment Okay What? He didn't say what he would learn. I love it.

What Bonix should learn is if you transfer, don't transfer to somewhere else that plays Georgia. So he'll do that next time. Don't do that. He'll do that. The scheduling idiocy really just goes up and down the ladder. Go play at UNLV or some shit, my dude. Yeah, he'll do that for his ninth season.

Go play minor league baseball. Anything but playing Georgia more. I would love it if somebody in the Georgia Athletic Department season. have entered the transfer portal and they're like wherever he goes schedule that team schedule it book it do it schedule main schedule me immediately they want to home and oh do it so now uh oregon uh not not say hey bow has has escaped georgia for the year okay they are definitely not going to play georgia again wait so no playoff for you about no dang i'm gonna go out on that limb uh they end the year

with uh oh fuck they have to play utah in late november again And then they'll probably win their division and play Utah for the fourth time in the calendar year. Oh, I know why everybody dropped off the broadcast. LSU Football.net posted the pirate feed to the Hawaii game. Oh. I understand if you want to offer them your full attention. We cannot compete with WKU in the middle of the ocean. Do we have, is there, are there any final notes that anyone wants to bring up?

Oregon State's winning 24-0 right now against Boise State. State is greatest team in the Pact 12th. Liberty got taken to quadruple overtime by Southern Miss. Is Idaho still losing to Washington State or have they? Yeah, I think Wazoo is. The question is, is Idaho still losing? Currently 24-10. The answer is probably. I meant to say, is Idaho still winning. That was my fault because they were at one point winning. I'm going to attempt to watch every Iowa game this year, just to see what that's like. There is one more horrific thing we should talk about. JMU 44, Middle Tennessee, seven. What the fuck? Yeah. There How's that, like, you know, transition year to FBS going to go for everyone playing JMU?

Middle Tennessee ran 61 plays. Would anyone like to venture a guess as to how many offensive yards that yielded? 200. 8. 108. Spencer's very close. It's 119. Jesus.

Damn, Rick. And on offense, JMU was well over 500 yards and had six passing touch. like this was this was a brutal beating a brutal brutal fucking beating is coastal carolina beating army auger for uh acquittals for those indicted for storming the capital it's so tricky it's so tricky because you're like is coastal carolina people who would be storming the capital or just people who are rowdy it's very hard yes yeah are they people who are storming it anyway not for political reasons.

I did storm the Capitol, but I do that every week. I didn't even know those white folks were going to be there. That was my normal Tuesday storming. I'm just a raptor, testing the fences for weaknesses. You can't fault me for that.

I storm stuff. I also think, by the way, speaking of people storm the Capitol, Liberty, Hugh Freeze very quietly returned to Mississippi today. We all miss this. They put Liberty played Southern,

missed it. Liberty played Southern Miss. They won in overtime. Did he have to like alert everybody within a 500 mile radio or block radius of the stadium? I'm sure he DM'd them anyway. Don't worry. I will say I don't mean to pick on college athletes. But Charlie Brewer got hurt in this game and was in a sling on the sideline.

Brother. Enough. Just become a coach. Be grab a clipboard. Pickle ball. it's fun. Go play pickleball continue to do this. Who is that Arizona State quarterback he's reminding

me of? Rudy Carpenter. Rudy Carpenter. No, I was thinking about the other one, Sam. Sam Keller. Sam Keller. Yeah. We transferred to Nebraska, and you're just like, please. Rudy Carpenter's ribs would like a word. Yeah. I don't know why he's doing it, man. There are a lot of other things.

Transferred to Iowa. Go transfer to Iowa. Yeah. Yeah. Throw the ball 18 times for, 48 yards in an interception and win. That's what you do. Go to Iowa. Retire to Iowa where nothing happens.

Chipman, transfer to Georgia. They appear to have their quarterback situation sewn up. You'll never live up to Stetson Bennett's lofty. Never. Lofty accomplishments. That's going to happen. Down the road, Georgia's going to get

some five-star in there who struggles his first couple games. They're like, yeah, he's no Stetson. You can tell. He just doesn't have what Stetson had. That he ain't nothing compared to no Sean crowd is going to have a field day with this in like two years. They have four and five stars right now who are behind that's a minute. That's right.

The dude is immortal. Respect the male man. Rain? No. Maybe not snow. But rain or shine. That man delivers. Shine or shine. Shine or shine.

Shine or slightly less shiny. That man delivers. Please respect him because I really don't want to go. this whole thing where we're like, they clawed his way up from Jones College. The son of a coal miner. You're like, there's no coal mine. The son of a coal miner.

The son of a peanut miner. We should lock Wright Thompson in a Faraday cage right now just to be safe. You two, Lug and Bill, get in. The illicit son of Jimbo Fisher, locked in a coal mine his whole life. Texas A&M played today, too. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

I think my son's very illicit. I'll say that. Why would you say that? We have broken no laws. My penis is broken no loss. Oh, God, damn it. Despite what Nick Saban alleged about my penis, it is broken no loss. Nick's like, I never said a word about Jimbo's broke dicks, I quit asking.

It has never occurred to me that Coach Fisher even has a penis. I have never thought about it. Not even a little bit. He is smooth down there like a Ken doll, as are all men in my estimation. Some of you are wanting me to Stetson. and or to Bennett, I'm not going to choose between them. So quit asking. She's stetsing on my Bennett.

Until I mailman. Until I deliver. How many people are left in this? Oh, man. Grabing him out. 1901, we're going to plummeting it in. All right. We have to stop.

We have to be done. This is like splash. Oh, no. Never mind. I'm sorry. Once it goes under 1900, once it goes under 1900, we're done. All right. to, yeah. Oh, y'all want this to end.

How was. Oh, no. I went back up. I'll jump out. That'll help, right? No, no, no. Please, can I jump out? Oh, we're holding steady at 1900. Oh, Brian did it. Brian did it. All right. Well, thank you for listening to the podcast after dark. Thanks to Richard for hanging around. That's Richard Johnson, who you can see with me on Monday night on the SEC Network at 7 p.m. where we will be, thinking out loud and recapping the week in SEC football we will be doing this after

the games every Saturday night this football season thanks y'all you got anything else before I say bye no that's how we ended up in this conversation in the first place nobody gets to add anything else all right bye good night sluts go hot guys