Shutdown Fullcast - Fullcast After Dark: SpooOOOOoooOOOky

Episode Date: October 30, 2022

SHOW NOTES An exclusive Spencer/Sanrio collab is introduced We share ghost stories from Saturday Rethinking South Carolina’s dip into the rankings Ryan does an accent; we don’t hate it Rhetorical proof of Sebastian the Ibis Was James Franklin right about something? Shocking and disturbing Which team is anointed Super Illinois? Scott Satterfield is the stubbornest Sim Georgia is still foggy, what kinda monster is in there, let’s find out Jason proposes several bone-chilling playoff scenarios The all-SEC She’s All That remake Prayer warriors, let’s all wishcast Jimbo to the Gasparilla Bowl so he can make some friends Visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, shit. I started full cast after DART from the Channel 6 account. Oh, God. Y'all, we're doing so good. Did you kill it? Yep. The new space is called, well, shit. That's fine.

That's fine. Sports. I like some guy pointing out that nine Michigan State players beating up one Michigan player in the tunnel takes Michigan State back to fake Batman status. I'll use my fists. I'm not wearing hockey pads. Samford Bulldogs first in the house tonight. Yep.

Ooh. Yeah, Spencer, I want to test something real quick. Mm-hmm. How many San Rio characters can you name in Mac Brown's voice? Bad bats maroo. Do the frog. Carrappy? Is that caropee?

I think he'd say carapi or something, right? Carapy. K-roopee. And of course, there it is. Hello kitty? Hello. Hello kitty. Hello kitty.

Thanks. That's all I needed. There are others, but I really just wanted. Batsmaru was really the one I wanted, and you led with that, so I'm good. Okay, sorry, I have a request. Didoki, yummy chums. Didoki yummy chums. Pompon-pomperin.

let's say who's here tonight hi podcat hi jamie dylan hey podcat per our conversation like 11 months ago i am going as edward james oldness for halloween i'll be wearing a battle star galactic flight suit and a bow tie can i tell you about a car i saw today yes yeah please i passed a tow truck like yeah as is a tow truck, and on the back of it, it had a decal that said toe fetish. That's funnier than the truck Spencer saw yesterday. That had the, the Jair Bolsonaro sign that was like, Jarre Bolsonaro 22, but it was in Cobb County. But it took up half the tailgate of the truck. It was, it was the shape of it was like as if Jara Bolsonaro was this kid's child playing soccer locally.

Yeah. Mark Ennis is here. Louisville's own. Having a day. God, I thought you said Mark Emmert. And I was like, Mark Emmert is here. Let's cyber bully. We can get going. Big Skies here. Yeah, we can go. We can go. All right. Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Big, big skies here. We got to get this show on. Ready? Full cast after dark for men Welcome

to the full cast after dark Oh Dracula noise Dracula noises Dracula musical If we're usually wolves Then I think the Halloween noise is just person sound. Oh, shit.

Person sound, person sound, person sound. Is that what werewolves are from, if a wolf becomes a werewolf? Do they turn into a man? They're a wearman. A wearman? Yeah. All the wolves are like, it's fucking weird. He stays inside all day and he wears pants.

It's so disturbing. Yeah, when a wolf is a big nerd, all the other wolves are like, you were raised by people. You're raised by people. Yeah, you go to an office, you freak. I want to email. Leave he alone. I want to purchase things with fiat currency, loser. But I want to find a good deal first.

What a dork. What an absolute dork. Does this mean this is our spooky forecast? Spooky forecast. Listener, you are Romulus and Riemus. Hey, I'll tell you. Weed and wolf titties. I'll tell you all a ghost story.

Ryan, their teats. Been over this. Y'all want to hear a ghost story? Yes, please. Tennessee, whoop Kentucky's ass so bad tonight that there was a celebratory shot of Willie Martinez on the sideline. Whoa, Smokie. Did you know that Willie Martinez was still on staff there?

Yes. Yeah. Unfortunately, I find it best for my own health if I maintain awareness of his location at all times. Here, I have another spooky story for you. ready? Ooh, that's the box score for Oklahoma State today. Oh, Jesus.

Let me open up this chapter of the Necronomicon. Oh, my eyes bleeding from the sight of so much evil and yet, reader, listener, I must go on. I can share some stats with you. First of all, that's a 48 to zero score. Second, it was 35-0. at the half. 35, nothing. How bad did it get? Gunner Gundy.

Gunner Gundy made an appearance in the game. Yeah. There's a Gunner Gundy. There is a Gunner Gundy. They named him that. They have the most alliterative pair of quarterbacks in the Big 12, Spencer Sanders and Gunner Gundy. Sounds like between the two of them they got about as much power

as a noisy cricket. Hey! I don't even have a joke about how O.A. and told me this was a resounding Oklahoma State victory. This is just sad and nightmarish. It's been a busy weekend for Oklahoma State. Like, you know, cut him some slack hair. Like, their head coach is breaking into Nancy Pelosi's house.

Yeah. He did not have time to prepare the fellows to play Kansas State today. Hey, speaking of white-on-right crime, did y'all catch the end of A&M Ole Miss? Oh, yes. Oh, Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like that cool part where Lane figured out what worked?

Yeah, when Lane figures out your defense. Bye, bye. I like that A&M has decided to do the most maddening thing you can do to a fan base when you have a struggling offense. And that is only be good in an emergency situation. Every time this year that A&M is like, ah, fuck, got to move. Like, they move the ball, they take big shots, and they see some success from it. They score touchdowns.

Every other time when it's not like, uh-oh, Mario, music's going fast now just like well let's what trick what what from uncle jimbo's bag of tricks can we pull ah look at this a clever three-yard route on third and ten they'll never see this coming yeah one thing about this old miss has in their post-game reverie posted a video of jimbo saying why do you want to go to someplace where you're winning all the time Like Illinois. Why would you want to commit to a winning program like Illinois? Or Yukon.

And then they posted a whole bunch of like shit posting meme images of Lane Kiffin smoking on that Jimbo Pack, RIPPO theme. That's what they did. That's a pricey pack. That is a premium brand. Premium. That's a $95 million three point loss to an old Miss team, which as far as I know is sewn up of odd parts thrown off other teams. Here's what I would say is the funniest part of this weekend for A&M. Obviously, they lost the Ole Miss, but you can look at this and be like, well, they were in it for most of the game.

They actually got, I thought, very good quarterback play from Connor Wegman, considering, you know, this is the third quarterback to start for them this year. And Ole Miss is 15 and has only lost once in Texas A&A's lost a whole lot more than months. That's not the funny part. The funny part is that also tonight, South Carolina just looked like absolute dog shit against Missouri. A week after beating A&M, South Carolina didn't crack 200 yards of offense until the last play of the game, a meaningless 17-yard completion in a 2310 loss at home to Missouri. Again, the South Carolina team that just beat Texas A&M to get ranked, just barely, went out and immediately coughed up,

was like, ah, you've seen my real form. I would point out that this is now the time for Shane Beamer to do what would be consistent with all of his other post-game speeches, the ones where he's like, I don't even know how he won that. I'm just so happy that these kids managed an aberrant result, given what I know is their level of talent. I'm so happy and so proud of them.

He should have just walked out after the game and been like, this is the kind of dog shit I expect it. This is more like it. This is more like it. I'm totally not surprised by this. Yep. This makes a lot more sense to me. I like Carolina just sort of popping in at number 25 and then leaving.

Just like flashing a little leg. Yeah. I brought chips. A game caught gam. Carolina, the guy who gets hired at your office for a week and then quit. I proved I could do it. Yeah, I just wanted to see the bathroom. That's it.

I heard really good things. I heard you can really smoke it up in there. There was one Mizzou player who said, I think we proved through the real Columbia is. God. You're goddamn right. You're goddamn right you did. Honestly, it is the superior Columbia.

Does anybody dispute this? I don't even think South Carolina disputes. It's hard to imagine a lot that's worse than Columbia, South Carolina. People who live in Columbia are like, yeah, this place sucks. I love it. There's nothing

interesting on right now, so I think I'm actually going to go back and watch the Oklahoma State game from the beginning. God. It's pretty great. Oh, God. Let's see how this goes. The winning case dates we got used to for the past decade or two,

they're plotting and blah, blah, methodical. This shit is some 90s case state. Like late 90s, they were streaking up and down the field. It was fun as hell. The other Big 12 thing that is, I still feel like we haven't talked about enough. And I see Joel is in here, so I feel like we have to. Hey, Joel. You want to join us?

TCU remains undefeated. And not just undefeated, but like, Sunny Dykes is the first Big 12 coach to start his big 12 tenure, 8-0. I just hope, listen, I hope Iowa is looking at TCU and understanding that, like, TCU walked away from a long-time success story. I'm sure, without knowing the details of it, that ruffled some feathers, and people were like, no, Gary Patterson built this program, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Seems fine.

Doesn't seem to be a problem. I don't know, Ryan. They're giving up a few too many points. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. Plus, what am I talking about? Iowa righted the ship this week.

That they did. Oh, my. Me, oh my. Brian Ferenz has figured out offense. I think it's time to extend the young man. It's quite possible he finally had sex, honestly. The vibe, listen. You know, there are a lot of teams who could use Brian Ference's expertise, frankly.

nobody we did no introduction we'll just do it we'll just do it peace i'm caropee 3993 yards by iowa by far their most explosive day of the year they almost covered the they almost covered the over under by themselves i don't it's almost november but are we worried about cramping that's what i was going to say they were cramping like oh god i ran 20 yards oh this fucking sucks we We've got to play someone besides Northwestern next week. Well, lucky for you on your schedule is Ohio State. You're going to be a... Oh, that's like opposite Northwestern.

Sorry, Southwestern plays Ohio State. I take you back. I take it back. So, well, that'll be a lot of fun. Much was made earlier this year of Colorado. Challenging for the title, one of the worst power five teams ever. Northwestern, if not for the decisive field goal against Nebraska would be right there. Like, beating Nebraska is a...

It really blemished their perfectly awful record. Oh, poor Northwestern. Came to America hoping for a better life. And what did I find here but nothing with struggle and pain? He's crying in his range rover. Oh, Mammy. It's so hard here in America. My children, they'll be forced to play lacrosse. La Crosse!

I want to come back to Ireland, where we beat Big Ten teams. playing the exact same teams but yeah but they believe them to be much easier over there my whole theory of this being an elaborate tax dodge the 2022 Northwestern Wildcats

went over to Ireland to establish an offshore fund and the rest of it has just been downhill from there I would explain why they're like give us an $800 million stadium please wouldn't you like to watch this

in a fancier place? I like that some orthodontist in Evanston is like, over my dead body, pal. No. Holly, are you still watching the Oklahoma State game? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I get distracted. It's 1102 in the first.

Okay. K-State strikes first, folks. We'll see what happens. I feel like sometimes we unfairly single out people like, Jimbo Fisher or Mario Cristobal who are Ballyhooed saviors of a program who have yet to deliver

on that. Cristobal, I feel like we can include him that based on what he did at Oregon as well as his current track record at Miami. Jimbo attracts this because he has a... Getting crutes, bro. You don't know. You're just mad because Miami's getting all the crutes. We're just getting all these like hot crutes and we're going

to the Big Ten, bro. Bro, once we link up with Rutgers, they got beaches. Yeah. We can add their beaches to our beaches. And then just the romance of a Miami fan and Rutgers fan looking at each other. We're not so different, you and I. Yeah, bro. We both struggle with Maryland.

As a concept and as a football team. Like, what is it, bro? Is it like, you know, old Bay Spice, Virginia? Is it South Jersey? I don't know. What even is an Oriole? Yeah. It's fucked up.

Birds aren't real. Cuckin' Orioles. Except Sebastian. Who's a bird made of cocaine? That's why he's right. I've seen him get arrested. He got arrested. He's got a record.

He has to be real, bro. He's sold? He has to be real. Sebastian sold me a gun. He can't be fake. The gun's real. The gun's real. Therefore the bird is real.

This is my long way of saying that tonight Michigan State. fake gun? Yeah, bought a fake gun off a real bird. Oh shit, I did. Fuck. Okay.

Battery powered. Supposed to buy a real gun off a fake bird. That's... What are we talking about? We're talking about the other $95 million man. I don't believe it's fully guaranteed

like Jimbo's because no one's as guaranteed as Jimbo, baby. Nope. Nope. Yeah. No one else is that thirsty. No one else. No one else is that parched

walking up to Jimbo Fisher and being like, water, marry me. Marry me. I'm so lonely. I'll give you my kidneys and the pre-up. Both of them. I'll give you wretches. The guy I wanted to talk about is Mel Tucker because...

That's unfair because the Hellraiser, the Hellraiser demons move the chains and A&M doesn't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please go ahead. Mel Tucker. So Mel Tucker and Michigan State tonight played Michigan and they lost, they weren't particularly competitive, and really only... How many points did they score? So they scored seven.

And like a kid before a movie, they ate all of it in the first quarter, and then they were done. They were like, oh, oops, got seven points worth of junior mints, and they're all gone, all gone in the first quarter. They rushed for 37 yards. They rushed for 37 yards. How many yards did Michigan rush for? They rushed for 276.

Jesus, good God. I honestly didn't know. I knew it was very high, but you went like 40 yards higher than I thought it was. It really only took some like classic Jim Harbaugh dithering and like Elephantine Pace and a couple of J.J. McCarthy like wanderings to sort of make this anything but a blowout. They also like Michigan, Michigan kicked a lot of field goals early in this game too. They did. They did. Michigan this year kind of works like a hydraulic press, right? bowling ball and a hydraulic press.

I see where this is going. You know, like, you may not seem like it's doing anything, but then it just keeps crushing. And by the fourth quarter, if you haven't scored a bunch of quick touchdowns on them, they'll just eventually reduce you to dust. That's kind of their thing. They're a crushing force.

And that's basically not the thing I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about how Michigan State really did display real fight in this game. and by a real fight I mean they whooped up on somebody in the tunnel and I hate this because it means it means James Franklin is right I hate it when James Franklin is right did they do this just to prove James Franklin

right did they work into a shoot here they really might have because this looked to be like nine on one according to Jim Harbaugh might be a broken nose involved from these from the one player the one Michigan player or the two Michigan players caught up with like nine or ten Michigan state dudes whooping up on them in the tunnel.

I just want to know how do you, like that's not a good sign when you have the energy to fight after a game. That's really not good. I thought you had this whole time, whole time where you could get that out. Maybe that's conserving energy for the main event. I mostly like that the central premise of this is like this is Michigan's fault because you can't expect these people to be to have to walk next to each other. Right. The thing they do, like, the entire football game. Right. You can't put them close to each other. You mean, like, the way they are? Have they ever, have they ever been on a bus or a plane or, like, actually, if you told me, yeah, you can't put, Michigan State can't fly commercial, they start punching passengers, they get panicked in the tight space.

They just start fighting. Be like, yeah, that tracks. That fucking tracks. Their whole claim to fame is standing in a tight space. They should be awesome at this. Oh, you know, you know it smelled terrible in that horse, too. Yeah. Oh, God. So many farts. That's a lot of protein farts. I think there's another Big Ten game that was pretty high on comedy.

Penn State, valiant, valiant effort against Ohio State. And the final score is a bit deceptive. Disagree. Disagree. How could a number be deceptive? Remember, we're going to get the Oklahoma State. their private number verification force I'm going to take a look at this.

44.31, but it was very close until the last few minutes when just like 18 bad things happen at once for Penn State, which usually they can handle 17 bad things at once. They can handle 12 bad things can happen on a Penn State touchdown drive. There was one drive that had multiple missed field goals and a fumble on the goal line

that nevertheless resulted in a Penn State touchdown. Can I poke that for a second? Please. Because I'm just going to poke. Yeah, just going to poke it for a minute. So on third and one, with like goal to go, basically. Oh, you're, you've started way too far, or far into this, but go ahead. Okay, okay.

Oh, folks, K-State's got a two-score lead. Do you wonder what this is going? Oklahoma State's got a fight. I bet they'll come back. Could you monitor? Seriously, I cannot over-emphasize how much Deuce Vaughn looks like he already has a sitcom. He has, like, sitcom smile. I love that for him.

I love it whenever he scores a touchdown. They post his picture in the corner, and he's like, that's a deuce moment. Like, he's like, got finger guns going, like, ha-ha, you just got dused. Like, he's that, he's that, he's the protagonist, but he somehow also has the energy of the best friend who everybody goes, woo, whenever he comes in the room. Okay, so Spencer, we are in, to clarify for everybody, uh, excited to see where this game goes. We are in the fourth quarter. At this point, Ohio State leads this game, 1614.

Where do you want to begin? I want to pick up after they've gone deep into Ohio State territory after a couple of, I believe, a couple of pass interference calls have gotten them into the red zone. And they face a crucial third and one. They've been running the ball pretty well. Yeah, they had been passing a lot on this. Like Parker Washington had a day the whole time,

but he'd been, had at least one big catch on this drive. right so they've been doing pretty well and they had third and one and you think oh you know like you'll run it and if you don't get it maybe you run it again right yeah they don't do that they they engage the clifford mobile they they throw sean clifford downfield for a hopeless deep route that goes nowhere it does nothing and then they send the field goal team out okay cool they false start on the field goal correct they go to fourth and six. Mm-hmm. So now, okay, definitely kicking. But when they fall start, it doesn't get called until like kind of late and the, and the kicker's already kicked and has missed. But go ahead.

And he's missed and he don't. Yeah, he's pushed it wide, yeah. Right. So then they get fourth and sixth. Mm-hmm. And when they make the kick, Ohio State gets called for one of the weirdest penalties. They don't, they don't make the kick. This one misses as well.

I've never, I've never seen this penalty call before. Yes, they miss the kick, but Ohio State does indeed receive a penalty. Yeah, for like crowding the center. Have you guys seen this before? This is, this is, this is, but I am aware of it. It's a, it's like a safety thing where they've basically said, I think this is true on punts as well. They've basically said, like, you can't put two guys over the center. No, I get it.

I just don't think I've ever seen it. Yes, it doesn't, it doesn't get called that often. you are correct yeah um so they get so they get called for that yep but it's a that's a five-yard penalty so we're back at fourth and one so we're back at fourth and one so naturally we're going to get a third shot at this field goal nope james franklin master of game management yep theoretician to the gods comes out and decides to go for the fourth and one okay not the worst call. How do they do it when they've been running the ball? Well, they come out in a wing, they come out in the Maryland fucking T. Yep. And then they shift to the literal umpty oomp

formation. They shift to empty. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Where they shift, they shifted from full to empty. They shift from full to empty with a four wide receiver diamond formation about two feet off the boundary to the left. And on the right side, they split wide Tyler Warren's big ass. jersey number 44 if I recall Jersey 44 all right when your your inches

is also like your neck that's it like Tyler Warren built like a like a fucking radiator right they put they put this giant water heater of the man up

it to Bowser throw it to Bowser Bowser's got terrible hands man not in this case Bowser for the first down because Sean Clifford whips what is actually a really dangerous slant

straight to Tyler Warren's huge self and Tyler Warren God bless his soul boxes out like he actually like he catches it and when he gets up he looks stunned

he's like oh I caught it okay cool you have a number 44 flying through the air on fourth and one it looked it looks it looks more like

an alley-up you throw where the guy and the other end can't dunk, so he just lays it in instead. When your only game management motto is they'll never see it coming, not whether it's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was awesome. I remember the announcers during this, they're like, okay, in this look, Penn State's

probably going to run to the right, okay, and then the look completely changes. I think Clifford's going to run it up the middle. No, surprise. It's a fucking slant to number 44. Well, throw it to the dude with a 700-pound squat. James Franklin's whole goal this day was like I'm into this Franklin's whole goal was like What if we make Joel Klatte delighted

Not a good aim Not a good aim What if we've clatt often What if we tickle Joel Klatte? All right so then they run for a yard Okay, they've got the first down They're on the nine they run for a yard Then Clifford passes underneath to Mitchell Tensley

Tinsley fumbles Yep correct and there's this endless review it feels like this red zone possession goes on for like 30 minutes yes right then there's a review they say he didn't score

they say it's on the one Clifford runs again and then they go for it on fourth and goal at the one again and they line up in what the Maryland T and and Ketron Allen is stoned in the backfield

he has stopped and only with excellent balance and by leaning as hard as he possibly can manages to sort of like side slip into the end zone as if he were like saying, oh, excuse me, like, and then gets in. If it sounds

dear listener, like Penn State was to exert superhuman effort to score, that is exactly what this entire game was like Penn State, Penn State was just breaking itself on the wheel just to get into the end zone whereas Ohio State is like,

oh, got a ball, guess I'll start running, touchdown. Oh no, you gotta do all that shit. over again uh the funny part was ohio state was also efforting but in just far stupider ways like and here i'll do my zen ohio state thing so um a lot of people look at the first half of this game and they and they're frustrated and i get that all emotions are valid i accept those emotions uh i don't question them they look and they say why uh why is ryan day calling three-yard short passes on third and ten. Why is Ryan Day throwing the ball behind the sticks so much in ways where Penn State's easily ready to jump on them? Why? Marvin Harrison, you know,

had, I think, 10 catches in this game. Why didn't he have 20? Why did at one point, Ohio State, on third and six, run the ball up the middle, get four yards, and then kick a field goal on fourth and two? That's confusing. My thing is this. if you only ever do the things that you're good at that's kind of boring isn't it more fun to see like wake up one day and be like hey what if i can paint are you saying this is their year of yes game that's right that's right they're shonda they're shondaing their

you'll you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try things that you're not if you just stick to what you're good at yeah you could just throw it deep to Marvin Harrison and probably have won this game by 30 points without any incident or question. But what's the fun in that? What if secretly you're awesome at bubble screens? What if that's your passion and talent? You never knew it. I think also in this process of Ohio State self-discovery, they helped Penn State discover themselves as well. Penn State, you didn't think you could score. But look at you. You made a plan to get to the end zone. It took you an hour and you encountered many mishaps along the way,

but you persevered through the dumbest scoring drive of the day. This is also an especial, like, emotional sop to an Ohio State fan base, at least 30% of which has either already or will in the future drop out of school to try and become a mobile DJ. You can do it. You can. You don't know that you can. What have you become the world's first DJ masseur?

I've read these turntables. Yeah. Amateur on both counts. Ah shit, we're back on the Miami game. Just like that. Bro, we're going to get that Big Ten money. We're going to open up a disco-slash-marsage parlor. Definitely not a sketchy business.

In Madison. In Madison, bro. Can we talk about what the fuck Wake Forest did today? Oh, my God, the Michael Hennig Speed Run. I've never seen anything like this. Kids, ask your parents. Yeah, I want to go to the third quarter. Yeah, the third quarter.

The third quarter. All right. At halftime, Spencer, what is the score of Wake Forest Louisville? At halftime, the score of Wake Forest Louisville is 1413. Normal. Sure. American football score. Normal American football.

Sounds like a game Scott Satterfield is ready to lose. That's right, which is what they all want. Remember Scott Satterfield? Scott Satterfield. He's 100% not getting fired this year. 100%. This remake of Shawshank feature Scott Satterfield stuck in Louisville and he keeps trying to get out and it's just not happening.

No, this isn't Shawshank. This is where they're like, hey, listen, we made the wall really weak. just like fucking dig and he's like I don't know I'm having a good time here this is this is this is Papillon if the next island was like eight feet away like it's like all you have to do is jump over this ditch oh to Crappione the story of Scott Satterfield 1413 1413 14 13 yeah American score then what so um it's very important that we pick up holly's reference about Michael Henig. Michael Henick was the Mississippi State quarterback, who I believe in 2007 or 2006 played against LSU opening weekend and threw a full six interceptions in one

game. Like they just kept him out there. And stayed in. Stayed in. Like by the time he threw three were like, well, was this was this Kroom? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this is Kroom era. So like, yeah, so like six turnovers. You did the full Henneck, right? So, first possession, Wake Forest. Interception for a touchdown. That is correct. Four plays into the drive. Sam Hartman is intercepted. Ken Trell Clark returns it for a touchdown. Okay, that's cool. That's cool. Wake gets the ball back. You clearly don't understand the plot of the movie you're in where you say, oh boy, we get the ball back because guess what Wake immediately does? Sam Hartman fumbles again. again. And it is, uh, nothing happens there. We're 20 to 14, okay, because Louisville can't do

anything with it. We're in some peak ACC shit. All right. So wait, it's the ball back. Again, you think this is a good thing. Uh, about seven plays into the drive. Sam Hartman is again, sat and fumbles. And it's recovered by Momo Sonogo. And Louisville scores. So now we're 2714. Games get a little bit away from you, wait, but I got faith. I got faith. these are fluky changes like they they can't persist unless you make a habit of excellence which in this case is shit because um your habit of excellence and shit uh because sam hartman throws another pick another pick at this point um if i am counting what i believe is his fourth turnover

of the third quarter of the third quarter so you could so you're saying he's getting reps yeah but you know what what do champions do they keep going right they're like no I'm not done you've seen tin cup you know how this goes

you see the water this is more of a bull Durham by which I mean it's a slow love making oh wow all right hit the mascot someone told Sam apartment to hit the mascot. I can't ever remember that stupid fucking speech. The joke

was supposed to be, but it's slow and wet and it felt like it lasted three years. Second and ten. 3.46 left in the third quarter. We're at 3. Dooley when I need him. We're at 34.14. This was 14 to 13. And Scott Satterfield's

begging to be fired or release from Louisville. And other teams just keep spitting out belching carables for him to devour so he'll stay in louisville sam hartman is sacked and fumbles again fumbles again and uh two plays later louisville scores mercifully there's a punt an intervening punt a brief respite from turnover nightmare so certainly we're done at this point what it's like to look down at the remote and realize you're not doing that catch up via key plays and also that this is all from one game and it's happening in real time like there's around the third one this like cloud of unreality starts to permeate yeah all right so listen way gets the ball back at the

39 it is now it's bad things are bad uh it's 41 14 but you know they get the ball back and this is about pride and they get all the way down to the louisville 17 and then sam hartman throws another goddamn pick that is not only picked but returned from the 17 for a 90-yard interception return for touchdown. He's refining the craft. If I remember correctly, that was the last play of the third quarter, yeah? It's the last play of the third quarter. We started it at 1413.

And then the bad things are done. It's a whole new quarter, boys. this quarter's starting zero zero just win this wrong wrong they got us in the last one we'll get them in this one first two possessions of the first quarter fumble interception hey the first two possessions of the fourth quarter are done from here on out oh boy um as of a few weeks ago it was like uh oh the acc's looking pretty interesting territory and Syracuse

is a hit hard times Wake yeah it's only the twin titans of Clemson and UNC remain only the tar heels remain to provide a little counterweight against Clemson by my math

just to close out the story Sam Hartman had 271 yards and one touchdown for Wake and he had 136 yards passing for Louisville with two T.Ds. So he was arguably their best passing threat because Malik Cunningham only threw for 164 with no touchdowns. Hey, can I jump back to Jimbo for one second? Please. Yeah. Speaking of ACC Powers.

We have a question from Bailey. I was very upset in the middle of this game because I thought that Lane was going to ruin our $95 million bowl. eligibility watch, which is my new favorite thing as of Jason's watch grid this week. And Bailey asked, would it make it up to you if it turns out Jimbo could have played a functional quarterback this whole time and just chose not to? That is, that is, that is a really good question. Yeah. Fantastic scenario. Like, like, I am not all the way there yet because there were also a lot of points in this game where Ole Miss decided to just rush three. And so like, I, the, degree to which this was a full test is I think a little bit in question but yeah um let's talk about a

successful program instead you can beat boston college for the first time ever the first time they've ever now they don't play they've only played 12 times and there's like a 60 year stretch where they didn't play it all um but boston college now has two wins one is over main and one is a one point win over Louisville, and that's it. In this game, 30% of Yukon's yards took place on the first two plays. They didn't need much more than that to beat Boston College. They turned Boston College over five times. I think only scored once off of that. They got a field goal. They were laminating the dough. This is, this is, this is, this is Boston College sneakily having a fucking terrible year.

Yeah, they're, like, just that they step better than Northwestern, and it's not a big step. No, it is... Not a whole yard, definitely no yards being gameed. No, um, they still, they still have to play NC State, Syracuse, Duke, and, uh, Notre Dame. Notre Dame who fucking obliterated Syracuse today. On the other hand, coaches who have camera to Coors, Coeur, I'm having a small, all stroke. Coaches who have camera crew crew,

Kerk, Kermara has goats and we brought the television in to look at them. Yep, correct. And he's undefeated. Thank you, Alex McDaniel, I believe who pointed out earlier today, that this should be a thing that we do every week regardless of the season. I could not agree more. We could restore the frenetic energy of the old storm the dorm segments without the whole Joe Tess rifling through the

co-ed's underwear drawers of it all. This is a nice set. I love a twin set. That's not what I meant. Who, what what Coates do you think has the most bizarre view of ghosts? Like the most bizarre belief.

Who thinks they are dead because they did not want it enough. What is, what is the ghost thing? I don't know anything that's happening here. Oh. This was, this was a game day segment. Yeah. Because, because we are coming up on Halloween, they, I don't, I don't really know the whole story about how we landed on this.

And, yeah, he lives in Connecticut and all the houses there are real old. And he's like, my house is haunted. And they're like, let's have a camera crew over to look at Jim Morris haunted house. Yeah. And it's like, we should have professional ghost hunters at every, at every pivotal game's house. I do wish it had just turned out that like Jim Calhoun had been squatting there and had Jim Calhoun and Paul Pasquolone. Living there in the basement.

Johnny McEntee is here. Yeah, he's on the lamb. Lay a trail of Reese's pieces out the doors and turn Johnny McAkey back over to the government. Leave him in the creek. Leave him in the creek, I tell you. Jim Calhoun's just there for savings. That's it.

Not a dime. How much we pay rent, Jim? It might be a handy guy to have around, you know? You might know how to fix a washing machine and what have you. So, Yukon is four and five. Yes. Yeah. Let's, hey.

Ghosts on CBS. I never thought we were going to do this, but let's play the bowl eligibility game with Yukon. Who wants, we got to get to six. UMass. That's five. Five. No, no, that's five.

UMass is five. Next after that. Now I need to, I need to, I need to fully understand that right now, Yukon is the most Antifa team, okay? No, unpack that. Yeah. Playing Liberty and Army.

Because they're playing Liberty and Army. Okay. The one team standing in the way of Christian nationalism is Yukon. Liberty, I assume we're going to call Liberty a loss because liberties. We're not? No, I don't know. Hugh Freeze just got a big-ass contract. Oh, it's time to, yeah.

It's not going to be working. yeah that's true that means that means 2030 also his preferred range of dining companions okay so it I'm just kidding there's no fucking way Hugh Freeze is going out with a 30 year old maybe if he doesn't know I think 30 that's the chaperone yeah yeah um so it comes so you're telling me it comes down to army they have to beat army to get bowl eligible oh right sorry Yeah. Doesn't matter.

The Army wants just for better bowl placement. Army's just bonus. See if you can make the playoff. Yeah. You know what fucking sucks. Because Yukon is independent, if they win six games, they won't make a bowl. It'll depend. They'll be the left.

They'll definitely be the left out team. And that'll just suck. There's not always a left out team. So, you know, sometimes when somebody ask a question about a legal system or a code or something, you realize that you've stumbled into some sort of unwritten, eldritch kind of law. that you have no familiarity with and is probably published in another language. Someone asked me today, what are Yukon's potential bowl tie-in? And I just heard the howling of the void.

Just like, oh my God, Yukon has ancestral rights to the Rose Bowl. Nobody knew. They get to leap the pack 12. How did this happen? As soon as Yukon hits the sixth win, we have to like raid the offices of Hobby Lobby to see what they've pulled out of the dead seat. Yeah, no. The documents are in there somewhere.

What a week. I love that Yukon, so they have been to one bowl since 2010. And their past two teams, 2020, 2021 were like game-breakingly fucking bad, like terrible, even by Yukon standards. Coach of the year awards usually go to

whichever power conference team ends up like all we thought they would be six and six, but they're 10 and two. Right. Who is that this year? Well, it'll probably be, uh, Josh Heppel. If Kansas wins a couple more games, but I think, he's a good candidate. That's probably often. Sonny Dykes is a good candidate.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Jim Mora the lesser deserve to be in consideration for coach of the year. I'm an Atlanta Falcons fan selling you that. So you know it's true. Yeah, so, yeah, it's legit. Man, the Illinois erasure continues. I just said consideration.

I'm not giving it to him. Because ill, because let me tell you, brother, Illinois, they're, going to win the big 10 West 100% why did you add the word west uh because i because i don't know who's coming out of the east and if it's michigan again maybe michigan with the benefit of having lost to them already once will have a better sense of how to beat them in the big dead championship game also because if it's michigan illinois that's like illinois against super illinois Mega-Illinois E.

Iper Illinois. Super Hyper Street Fighter Illinois. You know what? I'm going to say this because it feels so good. That's the 7-1 Illinois Fighting Alignanai. Correct.

Four and one in conference. Correct. I want to say when like lots of teams around their neighborhood and their rankings either lost or kind of look like shit, Illinois just like handled business. Since they lost Indiana, here are the number of points Illinois has given up in its game since then. 3.0. 10. 6. 14. 9.

They are absolutely like, Brett B. Elam is just sitting on people. Oh, man. 38 minutes of possession. Yes. There are points allowed right now. There's since it's 71. like there are teams who could give that up in a day unc could give that up at any point even when they're not playing bret beelma is the blackjack dealer who keeps giving himself three two one and a half zero point six what the fuck dude a draw four skip how did you give yourself skip at blackjack it reverse no we don't we don't do reverses here no no only power uh i i mean I mean, I'm looking at the schedule.

And at the worst in year two, it's looking like Illinois's going to win nine games, y'all. Because they play Michigan State, who is dog shit. They're very bad. They play Purdue, who cannot be counted on to have any... Purdue and Michigan are toss-ups. Those are top. They'll give you that.

Michigan's a loss. Yeah, well, at Michigan. No, Michigan's a road game. Yeah, they have to go to Michigan. Oh, yeah. Michigan's a toss-up. We're moving past Michigan State. Yeah, Purdue cannot be relied upon to give anything like a consistent result in a football game.

They might have 42 first downs and lose. I don't know. You know, which, by the way, a great clash of styles between Purdue and Illinois is this. Purdue being like, go, go, go, score, move, move, do things. And Illinois being like, well, when they get off this couch. You shall not pass. We, nothing shall happen. fucking nergle-ass team

just Bert is kind of built like Nergel He's just embracing I love you just the way you are Yeah Burgle Burtgle

That's our entire Recruiting pitch You get to hug me I'm your grandfather Officially Also Illinois gets a finish With Northwestern If that ain't a victory lap

I don't know what it is I'm looking at like This is a 10 win team This is nice this is proof that if you want to know like you know sometimes an ecosystem is in the like throws of collapse and one species emerges that's not a good thing like man yeah yeah there's you're like man there's a lot of giant tapeworms in this environment that's not good um the big tent west is in such free fall and collapse that this is the giant tapeworm Illinois thriving

in this environment where bert's like hey I can win a bunch of games if I just don't try just don't do and you don't let anything happen if you explain to bert what a tape where him is he'd be like oh oh gee thank what is what is the conversation going to be for the like impressive bowl game that is like listen they won 10 games you have to fucking i know i know they're only going to score 23 combined points of the game and whoever they're playing is going to fucking hate it but you have to take them what if there's a situation where ohio state and mission make the uh make the playoff the roseball has to take illinois Great, great, great.

Hey, what could happen with Illinois and the Rose Bowl? Fascinating things. Absolutely fascinating things. Bonix throws five touchdowns, and somehow Oregon only racks up 26 points. Bonix, it's like, that would be the best if they just drop eight every. That's what they're going to do. Oh my God, Illinois against Bonnix will just be drop eight and be like, do something. See if, see if we care.

So, um, playoff rankings are coming. I want to say a couple things about that. We're about to see which eight-ish teams the committee thinks might be in the top four a month and a half from now. Is this your update on who sucks? Very important. Yes. But from the different direction. Instead of ranking the top 25, we're going to rank the bottom two.

Because the race for the title of 2022's worst FBS team likely comes down to just two teams. UMass almost clinched the entire thing today, losing. to New Mexico State team that had to travel by 2,000 miles. But folks, Akron is still in it. Akron also has a mere lone FCS win that was not dominant, and that is it. Charlotte, unfortunately, leaves the competition today, beating the shit out of rice. Fire your coach, and you win. Fire your coach, and you will immediately fucking win.

This is what Auburn's doing, right? This is what Auburn's doing. Auburn is waiting until the Tuesday before Iron Bowl to fire Brian Harsons that they can beat Alabama, right? It's like hitting the booster. It's like dropping the jettisoning the fuel tank that was weighing you down this entire time. Auburn, so the list of teams Auburn has beaten by multiple scores is Mercer. Even Gene Chiswick's worst team had two multi-score,

teams, Auburn's beaten in regulation, San Jose State, or do I have that backward? Is it just Mercer? Whichever. San Jose State and Mercer, okay? Even Gene Chiswick's team, worst team had more regulation wins. And I don't think Auburn's going to win any more games. This is Auburn's worst team since 1950. Is it worse than what's the three and nine team?

um from physics 2012 yeah that's the one i'm comparing it to it's like already worse than unless unless they pull out a miracle win down the route here here's the other thing now it has become a point where if they do win any of these games their next game they're playing mississippi state who supposedly they're hiring the athletic director i don't think that's become official but that's what everybody was saying this morning if they beat them like that's just And then after that's, I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's true. You know how you know they suck.

They actually played a pretty clean game today, and nothing happened. Like, they still lost by two scores to an Arkansas team that is getable. They are a non-entity at this point. It's worse that they're not openly bad. They're not. No, they are. Spencer, Arkansas ran for 286 fucking, yards on them. They are openly bad. All right. I think, I think their thing is they are consistently

bad. Yeah. Not like, holy fuck, this game was the one that got you bad. It's just every single week, they play the worst version of what a kind of boring Auburn team would. Yes, yes, yes. They are not explosively bad. They are just like, true. They're a chronic disease, not explosive diarrhea. Each week they have a range of potential outcomes and you know what the best. one is, you know what the worst one is, and they do the worst one. We are used to Auburn expanding that range greatly, radically in every direction. If Auburn is usually Ebola, this year Auburn is just mono. It's just bleeding out. You know what's going to happen. You're just going to bleed. That's it. They're just I-B. Are you concerned at all about

challenging Auburn with a statement like explosive diarrhea can't be chronic? I am now. Yeah. They do have to play Texas A. him. Which is the opposite problem. The most constipated team. In all seriousness. Something's got to give. Yeah, no, just Jimbo Fisher sitting there with his, like, giant philo facts of plays.

Oh, my God, Jimbo Fishers. I understand it's been, I understand it's been. Give it a minute. Oh, God. We're not blowing past that one. Let us sink in. That's horrible. I'm going to put, like, ten seconds of space in the edit.

I'm there. Fishers. sorry that was just because Ryan had a real neat look on his face please continue no it's fine I understand it's been a year with a lot of teams with bad losses Miami lost I can't relate it hasn't been you hasn't been no

Tennessee fucking whips this here I personally cannot relate I do think they should have fished the goalpost out of the river and put it back in the stadium like all all soggy and well yeah then they could have saved some money that they need. That's true. I think they should have, I think they should have

emptied it out ceremonially at the start of the game because it'd just be like one radiated carp after the other shooting out. They should shoot whatever's in the goalposts into the stands like a T-shirt gun. So

understanding that there have been, understanding that we just said Boston College lost to Yukon 13 to 3, the first time they've ever lost to the Huskies, would there be a more emotionally miserable loss this year than Texas A&M in this state of free fall, scrambling to try and, like, get any kind of handhold losing to this Auburn team, which is spiraling even faster and worse? Oh, that's a spicy meatball.

I don't think I can come up with a, like, more unpleasant outcome. because it does nothing for Auburn other than just like spiteful hate and you know it doesn't it doesn't save brian harsen it also doesn't fire jimbo so it's just it's just like it it just creates bile and doesn't let it go anywhere it's just a cyst it's just a deeply infected cysts if they lose that game It's a medical marvel. If I'm Jimbo, if I'm Jimbo, there's no way, or if I'm, if I'm Brian Harson, there's no way that new AD is getting my number. None.

Like, hey, can you give them a number? I don't need to know you. You don't need to know you, man. You got my bank account number, don't you? Listen, man, when I hear that Venmo go off. Did you, did you see, did y'all see the? bitchy thing Brian Hars had did the press conference today. I think it was to Tom Green.

Can you be more specific? I think it was Tom Green. He was asked a question about, like, how, and this is true, Auburn's defense has slipped significantly this year, not just compared to last year, but obviously, like, if there is a thing Auburn had previously been able to hang its hat on while the offense struggled, they put out some, like, very stout defenses that could keep them in games that they would eventually lose. and that's not true anymore

like we just said Arkansas nearly ran for 300 yards so he gets asked about this and he gets all like oh you mean you're comparing us to the teams we weren't here to coach yeah man that's how it works

yeah that's 100% how it works those guys got fired we thought you would be better than them why is that confusing to you yeah it was it was like there was like some sort of warped logic that I can almost grasp you know like you say what they did

is not my responsibility but no no the point is you are the variable we're not blaming you for the past we have a control group you are the variable things are worse it is not hard to deduce that you are the problem sir are you saying that Brian Harsons grasped

of statistical concepts like risk management and say immunity Tenuous at best. It would be tenuous at best. Yep, I am saying that. I am saying that. How is Tennessee going to be Georgia?

Oh, fuck if I know. Okay. I don't know. I didn't think Tennessee had... This is partly credit due to Kentucky, which I think had a good plan. It's just... I think they had some good ideas.

They just had some... Kentucky was a snake-bitten team tonight, ma'am. But I didn't think Tennessee was particularly high energy tonight after about the first quarter. They had some spectacular tackles on Rodriguez in the first quarter. But I don't know. I still don't think we've seen this, we've seen this Georgia game in fourth or fifth gear.

And if there's any team remaining on their schedule with the ability to throw them into that gear, it looks like it's going to be this Tennessee team. but I don't know. I still don't think we've seen Georgia's ceiling. And I'm curious to find out where that is. I'm sorry, that wasn't a joke answer. No, it's fine.

I am happy for you that we are to the point where we can talk about a Tennessee game and we can just talk about it and it's not... I don't want to talk about it anymore. Okay. That's enough. That's all I got. I'm sorry.

I want to address a question from the chat because I do love talking to the people. You know that people say that about me. They're like, man, he loves talking to the people. Cowan, who is from Atlanta, and I imagine as a Georgia fan, wants my reaction to the Brock Bowers touchdown. And my response is, fuck you. No.

Don't need it. Y'all won. Eat my ass. I don't care. George is very good. And Florida fired their coaches rebuilding. They're very good. They're very good.

They're very good. And you beat our ass. What else do you want from me? Don't get greedy. Can I? Can I talk about one real weird Will Levis moment tonight? Sure. First of all,

God, get this kid some help. I don't know how he is walking after some of the hits that he took, particularly the series where he was sacked on second and third down in his own end zone. There are some, the numbers are never going to be kind to, sorry, the big broad stat numbers are never going to be kind to Tennessee's defense due to. to pace of play and a whole bunch of other shit.

But they got some ferocious swarbing energy when they want to. But there was this moment where, and I would love to see the All-22 of this because I don't know what he was looking at, but Willis is, I don't know, like 15 yards out from the end zone and has open field in front of him and is running to his right and turns around and run straight back into the pile that was in front of his pocket. and it kind of gave the air of like, dude, you know you're not a firefighter, right? Like, I don't know what he saw,

but like there were, there were just all kinds of, and it was super weird because I think Kentucky's coming off a buy coming into this. And there was speculation on the broadcast that they had tried to install a bunch of shit in the, in the buy week and just kind of try to do a little bit too much.

but I as I feel bad I feel bad for Will he's such he he's a better quarterback than he got a chance to show tonight because he was running for his fucking life for so much of it but there was also that one weird backdraft moment where he was like freedom and then he turned right around and ran into a cluster of like eight people he's just like Spencer did you watch this one I couldn't figure out what he was doing he just like me yeah like there was a little bit of green grass over here and he was like no I'd rather run shoulder first into a 300 pound man when you already have an injury to your throwing hand yeah yeah and your shoulder yeah i think i will say this i think that that that it was important for tennessee to win a game where they couldn't like where they didn't really have like an epic narrative or anything right it was like you got to beat kentucky okay cool we beat kentucky in fact they ran the shit out of the ball on like the second drive which kentucky that was really funny where that was funny as hell 15 play drive and they had 13 runs like i i know that hypo is not vocally a very like fuck you kind of guy but it felt like a fuck you kind of drive there was a little bit

of fuck you in that just to sue song there was a little bit it was like the cut cliffy and fuck you of like oh you hate this oh we're going to do it again yeah exactly you don't like that do you It hurts when I do this Well, quit doing it Quit doing it here Yeah Quit punching yourself Yeah

I thought like Georgia and Ohio State Both had something in common Which is that they were teams That I thought took a punch And then gave back more Right? Like that's cool I kind of wanted to see those teams

Stretch a little bit So after that Interesting Penn State segment You described Ohio State for the first time All game was like Fuck it Three play touchdown drive

Yeah let's just do what we do I'm sick of this. I don't want to play. Mom, I'm not playing with him anymore. Yeah. Spencer, you watch more of the cocktail party than I did. What do you think of of Georgia after watching this?

Because I still don't feel like we, I feel like there's some murkiness still around their ceiling. And I don't think, I don't think we've seen them have to play, like, all out yet. They're still a team that on either side of, that on both sides of the ball offense and defense

has 180 XP to spend. year it was 100 XP on defense maxed out 80 on offense this year it's like 90 and 90 like I think that they're a little more balance it might be 91 89 right like it might be more slightly more to the offense but like I don't think you've seen they when they needed to score they did they did so pretty easily Stets and Bennett still makes some really dumb decisions when he's flustered that's just something he's going to do but he also makes plays like when they need to score they absolutely get their ass downfield and score they're just really good at every single point so that if Bennett does occasionally have those misfires because he's pressing

doesn't matter does not matter they're still going to get after your ass on defense and they still have better players than almost every single team at every single position on the field So that's what I think. I think that they got a little dicey at one point in this game and then immediately snuffed it out, just like Ohio State did. Like similar trajectories for really good teams who are like, ah, that was cute. Fuck you.

Done. Over. They can do that. They can end games, right? If you want to know what the difference between like a really good team and a great team is, it's this shit stops now. We shut down. Like, aha, it'd be really funny if a comeback started now.

Here's 14 points. Just putting 14 points. 21 points on you. Well, so speaking of those, speaking of those Bennett mistakes, if we get more of those next week, do you think, do you think the defense is capable

of clamping down hard enough to keep them in the game long enough for them to get the ball back? I think that Tennessee could put them, I think Tennessee scores so quickly that they can outpace Georgia. Is that the answer? I almost think, Holly,

that's the thing that I, can't figure that's the thing that i can't figure that that's the matchup that i'm waiting on so holly i almost think that's the wrong framing okay because i think what is interesting about georgia is that it is not a question of if they fuck up on offense can the defense immediately turn it around can the can the defense immediately get a stop or limit the damage it's more a question of like how many times can the defense win a possession such that they are sort of building a a bank account up where it's like we already have that covered we got two stops earlier in this game so if you give up if you give them great failed position with a fumble or or a bad special

teams player or whatever we already covered one of those now that tracks can i tell you the reason i thought that sure is because this is watching uh and this watching this tennessee team make weird light yearish leaps all season has been just completely disorienting but before tonight I don't ever remember watching

any Tennessee team and thinking man you just really can't make a mistake around these guys sure right like that's that's kind of what put me in that frame of mind I still it didn't really occur to me before tonight to think of them as as that kind of team. Yeah.

There is one thing that is a massive difference maker if he still is truly healthy and ready because he appeared pretty frisky tonight. Cedric. Or today. Jalen Carter for Georgia. Yeah. Yeah.

That's an issue. That's a dilemma. That's a problem. Counterpoint. Three receivers whose names you know. Three receivers whose names you know. And Fant, who apparently... Is there a better name than Princeton Fant?

Princeton Fant can play like... He gets passed over because we have a guy named Squirrel. But Princeton Fant, my word. Squirrel White came in the game for a momentarily injured Jalen Hyatt, who turned out to be just fine. He got another 70 yards. They should swap. Princeton White and Squirrel Phant.

I love this. I love Josh Heifle because they put Squirrel White in in place of Jalen Hyatt. And he immediately called, like, a fade route for him. Immediately it was like, Squirrel White's like 5'9. And he's like, fade route, go! And he almost hit it. Like, it was a beautiful ball and some good coverage managed to, like, actually disrupt the play. That's the kind of shit that I don't...

I was surprised that worked. I was, like, I respect Mark Steves very much as a defensive coach. I was super surprised when they got burned multiple times on the same. same route, sometimes consecutively, and I'm definitely not counting on that to happen again next week, but also I wasn't counting on it to happen tonight in the first place, so who the fuck knows? Yeah. I am, I'm actually really looking forward to.

The first, like, the first top, I think a battle between top five teams in Athens since 1983 is what. Good Lord, who was the other one? That would be Georgia and Auburn. back in 83 it was like a ranked 3-4 matchup I believe at the time so kind of a testament

to how underachieving Georgia has been for 40 years that's over that's over y'all have made it very clear that that's done for the moment but that the last time it really meant this much you know

phones still had dials on them I'm going to crawl into a cave I'll make it worse Notre Dame is going to be ranked I bet oh fuck yes that is worse Bring it back in. Bring it back in. You want to know why?

Hmm. They're playing Clemson next week. And the tricky media's got to make that a ranked win for the Tigers, doesn't it? Oh, nobody's giving little old Clemson a bit of credit. Oh, typical. Little old Clemson. Notice nobody talking about Clemson this week. I think that was because you...

No! Oklahoma State is off today. What is happening over here? Just sitting over here with our Bindle on. the train. How far are they going to drop? And also, I know they lost your rank team. But like, how far do you drop them from nine? I think is what, let me see if I, if you're at, let me do the idiot Mikey Barbaro thing. Sure. If you're asking what I think you're asking. Please. It sounds like what you're saying is, I'm an active listener and I've had to do this

training several times after some issues with colleagues. It's, in this podcast, we're going to be experienced. during the intersection of my fist in your neck. God, I forgot. I'm sorry, I started fantasizing about beating him up and I forgot what I was saying. Oklahoma State dropping in the rankings.

What you're saying is the argument you're making that this is, like I can see an argument being made for this is clearly such a, there's an act of God quality to this game. Yeah. That makes me almost want to throw. it out but on the other hand how the fuck do you throw this out so hmm i mean i'm not saying don't

drop them i'm saying like how how likely is this to happen again and and how much did that figure into your well here's here's my here's my thing right oklahoma state oklahoma state's top 10 case before this was they uh they beat baler sure they lost close to tCU okay and they beat texas that's it that's like i mean baler beat texas tech today and is has pulled out of a bit of a skid but it's still you know five and three um texas is But 48-0 is just such a pummeling. This is the kind of game where, if you told me after this, they're like, yeah, seriously, everyone on the team had explosive dysentery. All right, let's do this way.

Let's do this way. Oklahoma's 9, Wake Forest, at the time we are recording this, is 10. Oh, sorry. You're right. You're very right. You're very right. Oklahoma is not even receiving votes. So, Oklahoma State is 9.

Wake Forest is 10. They both entered the day 6 and 1. They were not separated by a ton in terms of their overall point count in the votes. Wake Forest, Oklahoma State got blown off the map. Wake Forest also did, but are also in a fluky way. Wake Forest lost to the worst team, at least in terms of rankings, probably in terms of everything. That's a great headline. Who, who, who, like, how far do these two fall and do you, do you, how far, how far you want to, how far you want to take him, brother?

Yeah. Let's, let's, let's just, send them down a lot. I mean, wake, you know, whatever. That's clearly one bad quarter, whatever. Sure. And at least they fucking scored points. Right. Also, wake is like, wait.

I don't give a shit, dump them. But, yeah, wait can be, narrowed down to like a bad day on the part of a quarterback and some receivers. Right. Yeah. The thing is, this is. also playoff ranking season when like people who actually put more time into their rankings than like tired sports riders doing it at 3 a.m. they come through and then the APs sort of adjusts to the playoff rankings so well I'm also looking here right this is the week when rankings are just all

over the place looking below them um Penn State lost Syracuse lost Kentucky lost maybe bad enough to knock them out of the 25 Cincinnati lost um brother let's go ahead and slide you on down into like honorarium 20 to 25 at best okay that's where you go the honorarium the like 25 to 20 space where basically it's teams we remembered who are good that we don't think are actually any good we are we are definitely we are definitely entering a time of a year where it's like we're going to start ranking some we're going to either start making some interesting choices like Oregon state could get ranked in Oregon state I think is like, probably worthy of that?

I don't have a problem with that. Oh, shit. Hang on, I got you. Bring it back. Like, if Troy got ranked, I wouldn't be particularly mad of that either. Mm-mm. But, like, yeah, Liberty's going to get ranked.

He says he can't be invited again. Liberty's going to get ranked. It's just going to happen. I would, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, and then Yukon's going to beat them. Rank Yukon. Rank Yukon.

Why not? Damn it. Go ahead. What do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing. Nothing but your chains. Embrace freedom. Rank Yukon.

Nothing but your spiked hair and flattened chains. It looks like you back. So I'm going to give you a playoff scenario, okay? Okay. All right. Ohio State goes 13 and 0. um and you know maybe michigan uh loses well michigan loses to illinois and ohio state okay ohio state 13 no playoff number one said it so breezily sure said it so preasily

illinois is let's just face it michigan's michigan's eliminated ohio state's number one in the playoff okay yeah bama is your number two seat all right okay number three clemson wins out whatever he gives a shit they beat the um you know the sanitation engineers in their conference and the future milkmen they get to play every week milkman dairy dairy delivery aspirants number four who do you take and remember the CFP at least makes a show of caring more about who you've beaten than anything else all right do you take the one loss pack 12 champ that beat like one good team in the pack 12 title game do you take a one lost big 12 champ that beat you know a lot of solid teams but like nobody really excellent um do you take a one loss Georgia that beat Tennessee, say, by a little at home and lost a Bama by a lot? Or do you take a one lost Tennessee that beat the SEC champ and played Georgia pretty close in Athens? Oh, shit. I think you are discounting the Pac-12 a little too much, I will say. Nah. What if you have a champ who

has lost a game by 46 points? I hear you. But going off what you've said, which I'm not saying it's right, but I agree that this is how they run it. They are looking at more like what your wins are than what your losses are, right? Especially, especially one that early. And if they, if they can get away, I mean, if they do it in the scenario you're setting up, they know they don't, they're not putting a rematch together, which is the thing I think they would hate most about that scenario. But also, like, I don't know. I, I, I, I, I, it's not, yeah, the playoff is just so fucking annoying. So fucking annoying.

Yeah. Four is the right number, and we definitely need to make more of. What's Illinois's record in this example? Well, they've lost to, um, you said they beat Michigan. You said they beat Michigan. Unfortunately, they lost to, well, they didn't win the big 10, but. What? What part? The Big Ten title game?

Yeah, was it intriguingly close? No, it's like 20 to nothing. That's it. Oh, that sounds close. Let's put them in. Okay, put them in. All right. Getting an immediate instant rematch against Ohio State.

So the scenario I'm trying to tease out here is Tennessee, having beaten Bama. All right? I just got nervous again, and then I remembered we'd already done it. Yeah. Tennessee could be perilously close to a situation in which they need only three more wins to make the playoff and I'm not sure it entirely requires one of them to be Georgia.

Oh, Jesus. There's only one problem with your scenario. Say Clemson loses a game. Say Clemson loses to South Carolina or UNC. Yeah. Yeah. Tennessee is really fucking close to clinching a playoff. I will, this cracks me up. for well y'all know my philosophy on this winning a playoff spot would be fantastic stealing a playoff spot here's shitting your way into a playoff spot i there's only one problem with this

scenario what are you going to do when ls u beats bama next week oh god that might make it even better no it devout it shows that bama wasn't good to begin with and then who's tennessee beat nobody tennessee ain't beat nobody there's the thing here's the thing here's the It sucks. Florida sucks. Kentucky sucks. Bama is the one team that if you beat them, it counts for gold, because Bama cannot possibly drop below like sixth, and you got to stay ranked ahead of Bama. Damn, that's a good point. Yeah. Honestly, it might be better Bama loses because then they get that, they get to just rest to the wave of Bama the entire time. Yeah, Bama quit devaluing our win. This is the world's, this is the worst international currency basket. It is the worst. basket currency. No, no, this is very good, Spencer.

I think you're mistaken. But like, you know how every couple years we reach, like November-ish? And it's like, shit, Bama doesn't even need to beat fucking Auburn. They have already clenched a playoff spot. Sure. That's good because they won't. Tennessee is probably the closest team we can say that about it. I don't know that they need to win the SEC.

All right, folks. All right, I know you've been waiting for this. It's 1.15 a.m. on Sunday, October 30th. Y'all, I'm having fun. I've decided this is a good football season. To be clear, I'm not saying Tennessee is going to win the title or make the playoff. Somebody clip that part, but clip up the I'm not saying part. I am here for the premise of this exact scenario and nothing more.

What I'm saying to be very clear is that if there is a situation in which a team pulls that off this year, Tennessee, is the closest to. I might want this more than I want them actually getting a playoff spot out. right but then it's illinois we agree then it's illinois yes because that the power of orange no you know who these people are regardless of how they get the playoff spot

they'll be absolutely we will be absolutely unbearable maybe even more so if a playoff spot is given that perhaps took some finagling because then it is clearly anointed by God we can steal Auburn Valor

God damn can we have an all orange playoff if Oklahoma State hadn't fucked up if Oklahoma State hadn't fucked up we could have had an all orange playoff I'm not sure it's possible unless USC red and yellow mix I'm just so sick of the

of the red team the red team supremacy I think you're just all disrespecting Clemson You're also ignoring if Illinois wins out Put them in the playoff in every scenario If Illinois wins out They'll get the big 10 spot They only got one loss

Spencer explain again how we are Disrespecting Clemson by slotting them into the playoff At every turn Oh now you say we're good Now you say we're good Okay Spencer hasn't been listening for five minutes As we just said No no no

Oh, no, I'm just... No, here's the move. You're trying to gas us up. You're trying to inflate our ego. Because you like the idea of big hubris Clemson getting humble, don't you? That's what I'm saying. All for that, because we're pieces of shit. Hubris is a Greek word, and the earth is only 8,000 years old.

I'm just here to... I'm just here to foghorn, leghorn, country lawyer, any argument against Clemson that isn't Little Little Clemson, all of them. Damn. If Tennessee beats Bama, and makes the playoff and is just like A&M, all you had to do was hire Josh Heppel.

He was there the whole time. You met him before at your old work. Remember him? Oh, my God. You knew him. He's Rachel Lee Cook, and we have she's all that in him.

Even more overalls. See? Mm-hmm. But Jimbo is the one where, glasses like an uggo. Carrying, carrying 42 manila folders filled with his files and papers and his plays. I hope they're

all empty. I hope every piece of paper is Laura Mipson. Just a hand turkey that he's tracing slowly with a dry erase marker, not even a sharky. The play clock is at eight. Jimbo has dropped three folders

with 15 hand turkeys on the ground and it's like Call time out! Dang it! Oh, Jimbo put a binder clip on his tongue again. Well, those hand turkeys are going to come in handy for the game of the year for the Aggies, which will be Thanksgiving weekend against LSU with bowl eligibility on the line. The $95 million bowl challenge.

What bowl will that be if they potentially go? Jason, you know these things. The options are tremendous. The options are so good. It could be the gasper. Okay, yeah, sure, yeah. Okay, cool. That's, that's, that's, that's the ambition at this point.

This is where I want Jason, this is where I want Jason to sell me a car. Because there are no good hotel rooms in Memphis, they are all damp. No, like, all of them. You want, you want gasprilla because then, then it's Jimbo and divorce Tom Brady. Just made like, we don't need anybody. Oh, God. Yeah, man, we're going to graduate. That's it.

We're never going to see each other again. Hey, man, I'm really getting. you. Their drinking habits have to be fundamentally incompatible. Jimbo's like, well, how am I supposed to have a daquery without strawberries in it? Jimbo's like, you know, they can't stop

you from eating the waffle batter at the hotel bar. I think Brady is sort of like, I'm having a lot of fun watching Coach Jimbo drink. Like, just vicariously. Just horrified watching him drink a bloody Mary. That's filled with night shades and alcohol. And blood. He's going to

show. He likes that part. Jimbo's going to show up. He's going to be I say divorce isn't that bad. I wear it well. And Tom Brady's going to be like, oh, my God, what have I done? Oh, my. Thank you, dark, thank you, dark spirit of Christmas yet to come. You've taught me so much.

It's not too late. Tom Brady looking in the mirror, like you're flinching his feet. Grog! Fetch the fatted goose. Is Gronk the spirit of Christmas present? I think Gronk loves Jimbo. He is. His name is Jimbo.

Yep. Yep. My roommate's name was Jimbo. He starts calling Tom Tombo, and Tom's like, oh, Jesus, I got to call to Zelle. It's 4.15 a.m. And Gronk is yet again doing the helicopter nude on the bar, the wet bar at Tom Brady's house. And Jimbo is like, Tom is like, Spirit, show me no more. Welcome to TomboCom.

Please, Spirit. Why do you torture me so? Anything is possible with TomboCom. Michael Kane is there, and it's not even cool. That's how bad. to see you know. Jimba was trying to explain his contract to Gronk and Gronk's like That can't be fucking real

And you're just a coach? You don't even catch any touchdowns like me? You're not even very good, are you? Or you wouldn't be here? You won six games, what are you playing six for a year? That's crazy. Gronk is like calling Diplo

at five in the morning and being like, you've got to hear about this guy's contract. It's, it's, it's, it's got to call me at work. It's Scott Storch. It's definitely Scott Storch. No, no. Sorry, this is a deep cut. I just met the rich man alive.

Storch, Storch, Bo! Storch, Bo! I got news! Hey, hey, dead mouth five. Get over here. You gotta hear this. That's his real head, dude. I know you don't believe me. This is a real mouth.

I assume Drew Blitzow is the ghost of Christmas pass, and he's just like, I'm not answering. No, I'm not doing this. Drew Bledso is their sober driver I think that's a great place to stop for the night The full cast after dark Show me no more spirit Show me

No he falls into the open gray It's the they do the Mickey's Christmas Carol version of it Where it's God it's actually a beautiful line He kicks him in And they're like you know Who's dark and lonely grave is this And he's like why you're Zebenizer The richest man

in the cemetery and he kicks him into what looks like hell this is a children's movie the most eligible bachelor in temper a portal of hell coming out of a grave but Tom wakes up and he's just on a bed at a Hampton Inn and he's like oh god I'm no no I'm itching

I got a hand job at Bush Gardens no who hasn't yeah who hasn't all right that's been the full cast after dark y'all technically true that this has been

the forecast after our thanks to thanks to everyone for joining us for the 1,300 people in here for the 1,300 people

all right. Let's do a good night moon. Good night, Big Sky. Good night, Terrence. Good night, Joel.

Good night Eastern Kentucky. Good night, Sanford. Good night, Jordan. Good night, Jim. Good night,

Coach Bass. Scott. Good night. Travis. Good night, Nick. Good night Derek. Good night, C.J. Good night, Mark.

Good night, Podcat. Good night, nobody. Good night, Mush. Good night, Rick. Good night, Coach Gronk, up on the bar, swinging his dick.